firstbeachgoblin - Tumblr blog

[firstbeachgoblin]

citationless behavior

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Barry Keoghan as Oliver,

Saltburn (2023), written and directed by Emerald Fennell.

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Bilbo Baggins as text posts

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i love six o clock because the clock looks so stupid. "|" like get real

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And the only thing I know is,

I might be falling for,

The boy who swallowed the sun

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"The Stoppables"

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nothing frustrates me more than when adults refuse to even slightly indulge the questions and thoughts of children. i remember one time when one of my younger cousins accidentally stumbled across the concept of purchasing power parity because she realised 10 rupees which bought her 10 candies in India only bought her ~3 candies when we went on holiday to Japan, and when she asked her mother about “why the same things cost different amounts in different places” my aunt had the audacity to call her spoiled for not understanding the “”worth” of money, that’s not what she was ASKING damn it!! your daughter just set up her own big mac index and realised a key metric of macroeconomics!!! how do you not find that utterly fascinating !! why don’t adults talk to children !!

[firstbeachgoblin]

As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.

[firstbeachgoblin]

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Past Tense, Pt. 1"

[firstbeachgoblin]

Sometimes people will not get you & may never get you & all you can do is pick up that ginormous dick sling it over your shoulder and just keep on keeping on

[firstbeachgoblin]

more chickenposting

[firstbeachgoblin]

I must not mock Gen Alpha. Mocking Gen Alpha is the mind killer. Mocking Gen Alpha is the little-death that brings total generational solidarity obliteration. I will engage with Gen Alpha lovingly. I will permit them to be cringe. And when they grow up I will turn my eye to their accomplishments. Where mocking has gone there will be nothing. Only generational solidarity remains

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babygirl you look like an absolute angel tonight (there is a streetlight behind you and i have astigmatism)

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Miles is ONCE AGAIN here with the jokes

[firstbeachgoblin]