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A beautiful trip to Boulder’s Flat Irons for a lovely, steep, rewarding hike. Boulder is a really pretty city, 30 minutes drive from or home, and commonly cited as one of the best places in America to live.  

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Ice Hockey.

On Tuesday night, we headed off to watch some Ice Hockey. Bottom-of-the-table Colorado Avalanchers versus the mighty top-5 Montreal Candiens. This was all very exciting, meaning I had to stand through two, not one, national anthems at the start of the game. It was the same stadium as they play Basketball in, so the main thrust of my intrigue was based on how they can convert the stadium between Ice Hockey and basketball so quickly. Ice Hockey is quite an interesting sport to watch, certainly it's very skilful and exciting in parts, however there does seem to be a lot of luck involved. Also, it's very hard to distinguish the players, given you can't see their faces. It wasn't quite as stop / start as basketball, so there wasn't as much entertainment, although every 5 minutes or so, the same cheerleaders as at the basketball matches come on to clean the ice in a well-coordinated routine. In an exciting, unexpected turn of events the Avalanchers won 4-0, with 2 goals in the first 3 minutes!

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Skiing II and III

Sorry, it's been a while. Two more days skiing over the past few weeks and I can now ski!

A few highlights:

Teacher: 'Do you Ice Skate?' Me: 'No' Teacher: 'I could tell'

The second time I went skiing I had an organised lesson, in which, I am very pleased to say, I was not the worst person there. By the end of the all-day lesson I was able to learn to stop, and control my speed; skills I did not have at the beginning of the day. At the beginning of the day I would often slid off out of the lesson down the slope. I had brought a Ski jacket off the Internet but it did not arrive in time for the lesson, meaning I was dressed in two knitted jumpers my mother knitted me. They were highly complimented.

The third time I went skiing to a place called 'Loveland'. It was -15 degrees, with snow falling horizontally at the top. The chair lift up, above the tree line was an event in itself. It was tough skiing conditions but very fun indeed. 1 One drive back to Denver and the temperature was up at almost 20 degrees. I'm learning the temperature in Denver is not very well correlated with the weather in the mountains...

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Stray Observations

- The Super Bowl was an experience. The final of the American Football season is one of the most watched TV events of the year, with even the adverts being events in themselves. Due to my absurd sleeping patterns I fell asleep and missed the second half. It's not the best sport in the world, but was enjoyable to watch once.

- The West Wing is quite possibly the greatest TV series ever. And Netflix has an amazing array of shows that UK Netflix doesn't have.

- An odd quirk in the way people speak. Instead of answering the question 'how do I get to the station?', with 'turn left at the end of road', people here prefix instructions with 'You're going to', so for example, they might say 'okay, what you're going to do is you're going to walk to the end of the road, and when you get there you're going to turn left'. Anyone know what this is called? There's something very active in their language choice there and I can't help but feel it's probably underpinned by a very strong sense of self-determination/ self-actualization. or maybe that's balderdash.

- A difference in workplace culture: People's titles and whether or not they have an office are big things, and big status symbols over here. I've done three fairly different jobs at my company and never changed Job titles, whereas he, it seems no two people have the same title

- I met a gun-loving Texan!

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My experience of the US Healthcare System

Last week, I found myself in ER. I'd caught a pretty bad stomach virus, symptoms included a fever, diarrhoea, vomiting etc. It was pretty grim. The experience gave me a chance to see both a Health Clinic, and ER.

- GOOD NEWS Unlike the UK, there are barely any queues in hospitals

- BAD NEWS First thing you are asked for any non-urgent medical treatment - 'do you have insurance?', and also, not all insurances are valid at every medical center.., so 'do you have the right insurance' might be asked. Heads up, travel insurance isn't valid everywhere.

- GOOD NEWS Hospitals are cleaner, nice and in general, have better / more readily available facilities

- BAD NEWS the  U.S. spent 17.1% of its GDP on health care, compared to 11.6% in France, or the 8.8% in the UK. Healthcare is expensive, and not free-at-the-point-of-use, or available to all.

- GOOD NEWS Medical staff, have less patients to deal with and are able to provide an exceptional quality of care.

Overall, the quality of care I received was better than in the NHS. But I don't think that means i think the US healthcare system is better. Having a security guard on the door of ER means, yes, you won't get aggressive drunken activity in waiting rooms (as my friend Zoe had to experience last week...). But I can't help but feel, the fact there are no queues is a bad sign. 19 percent of Americans are unable, or have serious problems, paying medical bills, and in that circumstance, surely that are people foregoing going to hospital because it is prohibitively expensive, and that explains the lack of queues. In just the past year, a full 25 percent of Americans didn't visit the doctor when sick because we couldn't afford it

So, to the NHS, to all of its workers, thank you. Beveridge, Attlee and Bevan's ideals of a free healthcare system for all are ideals worth fighting for.

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I have the best housemates  <3

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Rodeo

After 5 hours of driving on Saturday, Adam and I fancied something more local, so went for a lovely walk along the river to the National Western Stock Show, the world's largest stock show. A stock show is an agricultural show / farming show /country fair. We went on the final day of this 3 week festival, which was basically a celebration of all things County and Western and farm-y. Highlights included a petting zoo, the odd eagle, a carousel with real ponies, and of course a Rodeo. Not dresses in cowboy boots, jeans, plaid, a large buckle/belt and 'ten-gallon' hat, I found myself, for the second time in two days, conscious I was incorrectly attired. Another highlighted included a man selling guns dressed only in a vest  - he was certainly using his second amendment right to bare arms...

I'll start by describing the sheep dog competition Adam and I found ourselves watching. It was one of those moments in your life where you think 'How did I end up here?' We watched as farmers from all over the US (who I presume had travelled all this way for this one event) to a barn in central Denver with their sheep dog, to be judged and examined on how effectively they could coax four sheep through a gate, round two poles, and into a pen. It turns out this make for gripping watching. I'm not joking. To see the desperation on a old farmers face, as he whistles increasingly high pitchedly and exasperatedly as a black sheep (in outlook not colour) refuses to go into a pen is an enthralling experience.

We couldn't get tickets to the Rodeo final itself, but managed to find a bar where all the contestants and families were. Watching the rodeo on a TV screen, drinking our Cooks beer, felt like a proper American experience. But what is a rodeo? It's a series of events to test one's capabilities as a cowboy / farmer. The most famous, is the staying-on-the-buckling-horse one (bareback bronc riding), but there's also the lassoing a calf, and most cruelly of all, the jump-off-your-horse-and-wrestle-a-calf-to-the-ground round. In some events both the rider and animal is judged. There's also a kids - hold onto the back of a moving sheep round. From our backstage bar, we were able to see the kids come out with their trophies. It's recommend dipping into https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOarXr1KvY4 to get a flavour of what it was like.

Overall, the day was a good, if tad bizarre insight into small town America , and a marked contrast to the 100,000-strong Woman's March which happened in Denver the day earlier. Colorado, I am rapidly discovering, is a microcosm of America as whole. It is, in some respects, very traditional, very conservative, none more so when hosting large rodeos and western events, but it is also (in Denver especially), very liberal, very much like the Pacific states. The budding sociologist in me is of course, finding this all very fascinating.

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Skiing

Saturday 6am. And we decided to go skiing. As, it seemed, did half of Denver. I insisted we tune in to the local Country and Western radio station to accompany on us on the 90 minute drive to Copper Mountain. (An aside - the adverts on US Radio are very different to the UK, many small businesses advertise in that way, with adverts for services as diverse as domestic Radon testing to self-improvement courses. It also seems to be the law that all adverts must end with a man speaking incredibly quickly for ten seconds or so, spouting out all the terms and conditions). County music is great, even if after 3 hours, every song sounds exactly the same.  The drive turned into 3 1/2 hours. We had enough to entertain us however; a majestic sunrise, an incredible road winding through a creek, geological wonders (the Rocky mountains  are beautiful - see photos), but these were no match however, for the Eisenhower Tunnel we drove through. Not only is the Eisenhower Tunnel a tunnel which crosses the Continental Divide but it is the highest point of Interstate (American motorways) road anywhere in the US. We were up at 3,400m (that's twice as high as Ben Nevis, 40% Everest). It was sub-zero, and when we arrived at ski resort, dressed only in two knitted woolen jumpers my mother had knitted for me, I felt suitably incorrectly attired. Coloradans love to ski, and everyone seems to be good at it, and is kitted out correctly. It felt like an exclusive club. To be honest, for the morning, I felt a bit out of place, having never skied before. We missed our skiing lesson due to traffic, so, instead of wasting the day, Adam and I headed out the learning slopes, and basically, learnt to ski. Suffice to say, lots of tumbling and falling ensued (sadly I have no pictures or videos of this, my excuse is that I was skiing), but by the end of the day I could fairly happily go in a straight line, and turn both ways (albeit in a large turning circle). I hadn't however mastered the art of stopping yet, so the vast majority of my run ended on the floor in the snow, in various contorted body shapes, with my skis and poles flung around me. I seemed to have the effect on the snow of making it blow up as I fell into it, causing the effect of being in a large snow shaker.  We're going back next weekend for our lesson. Hopefully but the end of the season I'll be proficient!

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Figure 1. Trump Supporters

Figure 2. Me in my Onesie

Spot the difference...

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The Denver 'Comedy Works'

Tuesday Night, and keen for some light relief after our first day at work  Adam (my housemate, who much in the same vein as Mrs Mainwaring from Dad's Army, or Howard's mum from The Big Bang Theory will be an off screen character in this blog) and I headed out to the Denver Comedy Works, 'America's best comedy club'. It was newcomers night which involved 200 or so of us crammed into an intimate basement for 90 minutes watching 15 - 20 comics doing 2-10 minutes sets (I have  bit of a thing for numbers, I don't know if you've realised).

First off, the venue gave us sealed pouches to put our phones in, to prevent us from using them for the show. Secondly the venue's decor was the typical brick wall background, and every comic basically reeled off a load of anecdotes beginning 'So I did xx last week', so it was very formulaic. That's not to say it was not funny, I laughed a bit, but the general clientele were extremely generous with their laughter. The newcomer's night allows anyone to go up and do a 2 minute set, so I think I might, for lols, give that a go and some point.

I've got enough material: On Monday, I walked into a shop, and in America, shops like to have a person on the door to welcome you,the man said 'Welcome to our shop today', to which in a slight moment of panic and/or British politeness I said 'Welcome to you, too'. On Sunday, in Walmart I heard on the tannoy 'so-and-so to Aisle 6, we have a biohazard'. Half expecting to people in Hazmats cleaning up nuclear waste, it turns of this was just a euphemism for vomit a spillage or whatever. A janitor with a mop is a disappointingly mundane response to a 'Bio-hazard'

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What do I actually do?

On Tuesday, I started work. I'm not too sure what I can and can't say so I'll veer on the side of safety: My company makes phone-y types things (but they're not phony- wahey!). If you know what a switchboard is, it's basically that, but as a piece of software. If you ever hear music on hold or auto-attendant (e.g. 'Press 1 for this, press 2 for that' etc.), that's us too, I'm sorry. I'm out here to support a customer of ours successfully deploy our product. What does that mean on a day to day basis? I spend answering any questions the customers have, troubleshooting problems, planning for projects, and most importantly making humourous chit-chat in the tea room about the lack of good tea, etc.

I've worked with this particular customer before, back in 2014, when I had to phone up telephone exchanges in remote parts of America, get someone out there to pull out some cables and check that my monitoring system worked correctly: thrilling stuff. On one occasion, I asked a man to pull the power on one of the servers and check the system alarmed correctly and came up again. He asked on the phone 'Ooh, is that safe, I don't want to get electrocuted'? To this I replied confidently 'No, you won't get electrocuted', adding that I'd done this procedure 5-10 times previously and that it was perfectly safe. The man put down his phone, went into the machine room where the server was, pulled out the power; I saw from London he had done this as the system was alarming, but he wasn't back on the phone after 15 seconds so I piped up 'Are you still there?'. Within seconds however he was back, apologising that it had taken him a little longer than expected, he then went onto explain "I'm sorry about the electrocuted question, the reason I ask what that I because I actually got electrocuted a few years back, so I always ask'. Keen for a bit of small talk I asked 'Ooh, how badly electrocuted?', eager to hear his no doubt amusing, or at least interesting, tale. At this point, everyone on my floor in my London office, started to gather round me concerned. I have a loud voice, and it turns out that of them all could hear my part of the conversation:

'No, you won't get electrocuted' Followed 20 seconds later by 'Are you still there?' and 'Ooh, how badly electrocuted?'

They all thought I'd electrocuted a customer.

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Teas of America #1

In Walmart yesterday, I was left with little choice for black tea, and ending up going for something called ‘National Cup’. ‘National Cup’ conjures up ideas of wartime ‘we’re-all-in-this-together’ type rationing, much like the famous  ‘National Loaf’ (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Loaf). This is quite a good analogy, for this tea, much like the National Loaf was unappetising,  tasteless, and grey. I will keep you informed of other teas in America.

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More snow

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Basketball

This afternoon, I went to my first ever NBA game. The Denver Nuggets beat the Orlando Magic (henceforth, the 'Goujons') by a comfortable margin of 125 basketballs to 112 basketballs. In summary: the Nuggets basketballed well, certainly better than the Goujons basketballed, the Goujons missed a lot of opportunities to basketball, and were worse at defending the basketballs.

The Basketball was of a good quality, the Nuggets star player was Nikola Jokić, a 21-year old Serb who looks like a cross between Novak Djovakic and Victor Krum. He is clearly a phenomonal talent. Given the majority of the times I've gone to watch professional sport it has been the rater genial cricket, this was quite the spectacle. There was no clapping of the oppositions efforts, (expect inadvertently when the DJ was playing 'if you're happy and you know it clap our hands' concurrently with the Goujons scoring). At one point in the fourth quarter, the Goujons had two penalty shots in a row, and onto the big screens came the offer 'if he misses both everyone gets free chicken'. He missed both, which means if I go to some chicken restaurant (the official chicken restaurant of the Nuggets) in the 72 hours with my match ticket, I can claim 8 chicken Nuggets.

A few comments:

1) The game began late, not at 3pm, but at 3.07, this irked me. 2) Basketball has 4 12 minute quarters, with each team having two timeouts in each quarter (one timeout being 2:30 minutes and one 1 minute timeout). All this means is that 48 minutes of sport is drawn out over a 2 hour period 2) Pre-game some children came onto the court and unfolded a large (5m x 8m ish) US flag, twinned with the singing of the national anthem. Everyone stood, out of sheer awkwardness, I stood too, joining in with this act of patriotism for social expediency's sake/ I can't help but feel that fascism has it roots in this same vein. Those around us all sang along, hands on hearts. 3) The timeout, quarter-time, and half-time shows kept me entertained well after the novelty of the basketball had worn off, entertainments provided for us included: (i) a series of c. 50 t-shirts 'falling' from the sky with some branded logo (I believe this feature was sponsored by Acme Bricks, the official Bricks of the Nuggets) (ii) a jangle your keys competition, with the winner winning some money (iii) Let's look at people in the audience, put them up on screen and make then kiss. 5 of the 6 couples shown were more than happy to oblige their adoring fans, but the steal of the show was a 60-year old man resolutely refusing to do such a thing, and his despondent wife trying to snatch a kiss of the cheek. It made great television (iv) Rocky the Mountain Lion (the Nugget's mascot) finds a baby and then shows the baby aloft to the crowds, with the lights dimmed and the Lion King 'Arsene Wenger' music playing (v) The Simon Says half time show in which the America's most famous (his words, not mine) Simon Say's Simon (who was also a 'Professional Simon Says') played Simon Says with the best Simon Says players in Colorado. 15 men and 15 women (for some unbeknownst reason, segregated) played Simon Says. 'Simon' was actually called Steve. See https://twitter.com/SimonSezGuy for more details, in case you think I made this up. (vi) The suitcase race: Two grown men ran across the court picking up clothes and putting them in a suitcase and then ran back. The winners wins a suitcase. (vii) Three equally grown men cheering wildly as three cars 'raced' each other on a screens running all the way around the stadium. Given these men in no way had any effect on the cars, this seemed bizarre. (viii) The Cheer-a-veteran segment, in which a local US Army veteran is placed in the centre of the court, with cheerleaders on either side of him, as the big screens show footage of this man's army service. Everyone stood and cheered him. (ix) A booze-company sponsored edition of 'which of these three cups has the Nuggets' logo on it's bottom' what closely as they move around (x) Lookalikes in the audience. Let's look at people in the crowd and suggest who they look like, and put it up on the big screen (xi) Steel Drummers steel drumming (xii) The Nuggets' mascot (refer to bullet point 3 subsection iv for further details) throwing a basketball over his head and into the hoop (xiii) People throwing pizza coupons into the crow (4) There was music constantly. Whatever the basketball equivalent to the sound of leather on willow is, you couldn't here it. There was all a regiment / division / unit / legion of cheerleaders. (5) The Pepsi Center, a 10 minute walk from my apartment, is where the 2008 Democratic National Convention hosted, and Barack Obama officially became the Democrat nomination. Oh, to be back there... The overall impression I was left with was that of a Butlins holiday camp, or a Scout camp. I was half expecting there to be a Glamorous Grannies contest or a Space-hopper race. However, this entertainment is clearly there to make the event more attractive to those who don't like basketball. The whole thing was therefore, uttterly bizarre, but a very pleasing experience none the less. I wish the Nuggets all the best over the rest of the season, I hope to see them win out against the San Francisco schnitzels, the Albuquerque Escalopes, the Chicago Chow Miens, and the Baltimore Breasts.

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Happy Martin Luther King day! It’s Snowing!

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Blueberry waffles with Southern Fried Chicken.... no, they don’t go together