fk1ngusernam3-blog

[fk1ngusernam3-blog]

For easier wrangling of multiple rp accounts, I’m moving this blog to the secondary blog @fuck1ngusernam3  - please do follow me there, I’ll be replying to any tags from that account from now on.    

I’m not sure how to move my posts there without reblogging everything individually so I apologize for all the notes from that in advance? If there’s a better way to do that that won’t clog up people’s notes let me know. 

edited to mention @itsameuhmultimuse and @softestware so the people I have active threads with will know what’s up. 

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

“I believe he meant left alone in the vehicle, Hank.” Connor voices as Hank begins to exit the vehicle. Which Isaac is doing as well. “I did - I apologize I wasn’t very clear.” He should have answered more properly. “I can see how what I said would have been misunderstood.” “Not to mention you don’t really know what you would be looking for, right, Hank?” Or how much thirium would be needed for Isaac in the first place. “We will accompany you.” So they do, stepping into the building with him.

“Right, course I don’t,” he mutters and leads them in, stepping back once they’re inside and giving a quick, irritated wave of his hand at the rest of the place, eyebrows raised. He’s not feeling any less like a fucking dumbass the longer this whole thing goes on; at this rate when they go into work tomorrow Isaac’s going to ask for Connor to babysit him instead. 

It’s a little weird, seeing a former CyberLife store like this. No product - product, right - anywhere, nothing displayed. Just a space that used to be open separated into little rooms, with an android at the front desk. Hank parks himself next to the wall instead of trying to talk to her. 

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

Isaac isn’t so sure what the point of asking would be - it’s not like he would ever be able to afford them. He’s broke and homeless; As many androids still were. Some had gotten lucky and landed jobs, but Isaac isn’t one of those lucky ones if not for his appearance alone. Connor is very much aware of Isaac’s situation and is now questioning whether or not Hank is in the dark about it. His asking this might mean such, but who knows?

“I can - Though I’m not sure I’d ever be able to afford them.” Isaac knows how much the parts cost. They’re far out of his price range, but isn’t everything? “I’m not sure I’d want to be left alone in public right now anyway.” Which made sense. There’s a high chance someone is out to get him and if the press had caught wind of where they’d gone.. Connor and Hank returning to find the car swarmed by journalists and cameras wasn’t unlikely.

“Right.” Hank could push it - could explain all the programs in place for just that kind of situation, not being able to afford that shit, ones Isaac could be a part of if he just let Hank talk to a couple of the right people - but it’s not Hank’s business, not his life, and Isaac’s already made it clear enough that he’s not interested. So Hank lets it go and assumes that last comment means Isaac and Connor are going to stay here while he, the guy who knows the least about this shit, goes and gets some random amount of thirium and hopes he doesn’t get the wrong shit. “Back in a second,” he says, and leaves them to it. 

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softestware‌:

“I do have those files if you want.” He found it hard to hold back a smirk of amusement at Hank’s reaction. Connor could almost sense the same kind of uncertainty that he himself had been feeling all morning. The wonder of if he’d be accepted back so easily or if things would go back to the way they were, not that there was really a baseline for normality for them yet. With everything that happened since they met, Connor had always been catering to what everyone else wanted from him. This would be the first time he’d be doing something for himself.

It’s what he thought about all last night, with the nights before being wondering how he could broach the subject of leaving to Markus. Luckily, Markus didn’t ask too many questions and seemed to agree that police work would be the best way for Connor to help. Connor felt both a wave of relief and guilt. Markus thought he wanted to help them this way, and he did, but he didn’t know Connor’s selfish reasons as well. Hank probably didn’t expect anything of the sort either, with the way Connor had been trying to keep up with cases and compile everything as if he’d been itching for the work. That was really only the slightness of reason.

“It’s okay, I really have everything myself, reports and files. I can keep everything organized up here so you don’t have to worry about it.” They didn’t have a set agreement on who did what, but Connor hoped to establish one, to show how good they could be together with Connor’s promise on indefinitely.

“Of course I’m sure.” There was a half-second freeze in his chest components at Hank’s doubt. “Change can start on a smaller level too. I have all the reports the department’s got on assault against androids, and it would make a difference to put a stop to it. Truthfully, I hated it up there.” The words came out before he could stop them.

“I was always worried sick that something would happen to Markus that I couldn’t even close my eyes off the clock. I know, I should consider it lucky that they were all still trusting me, but I knew if one of those people threatening him were actually more than just talk that I’d be to blame if Markus got hurt. It was so much pressure! And so… boring! He got stonewalled at every meeting on purpose. We kept having to go to the same meetings over and over again, almost begging for them to listen to us –well, Markus, to even get the slightest change made. It was so disheartening, but I had to pretend I was fine… but seeing the way the humans up there treated us the same way as any other marginalized group wasn’t very good for my sense of hope.” He sighed.

“I never told anyone else any of that. I had no idea if North or Simon felt the same way because they only ever talked about the changes they were making and how great it was…and how happy they were. But I wasn’t happy.” There was a strange sense of freedom after getting to say all of that after feeling it for so long. He didn’t realize how trapped he felt there until now.

“Maybe they like it, and they can make changes that way, but I can’t.” He’d been staring down at his own shoes as it all came out, but  he finally raised his gaze up. “And I missed you..and the city. And I hated going on planes, it was horrible being so high up.”

Hank listens closely, nodding when Connor’s done but not saying anything for a good few seconds. He looks distant, thinking. He’s thinking about his own disappointment, hearing all that, thinking about the way Connor sounded when he said he hated it there, how everyone else seemed to be getting more out of hit than he was. How he didn’t feel like he could talk about it. 

Hank sighs. 

“I, uh-” he starts and then stops again, hesitating, looking hard at nothing in particular. It’s hard to talk about his past, he’s realizing - not just the tough parts but the good parts, too. That’s never been an issue with anyone else. Everyone else already knows how he used to be, he’s never needed to try and talk about it. But now that he does, it’s... weird. Uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit right, talking about the guy he used to be. “When I was just starting out. I used to- well, you’ve seen that fuckin article at my desk, the one that says, uh, I’d probably be commissioner some day, that dumbass thing? I wanted that. The whole- the politics, the power games that happen that high up, all that shit.  Sounds pretty dumb, doesn’t it? I mean-” 

He gestures toward himself, looking at Connor just long enough to give him a wry look, eyebrows raised. I mean, look at me.

“But I did. I wanted it. Wanted to shake things up.” He huffs, bitterly amused. “It’s all I wanted, pretty much since I was a kid. Seventeen, eighteen. Till, uh...” Until- well, until the kind of shit there’s no reason right now to go into. No reason ever, anymore. 

Hank shrugs, looking at Connor again with a tight little smile. “So I guess, uh, I was assuming... You know, that you’d- want that too, I guess. Probably owe you an apology for that.”

He sighs again, quietly, then tries to look friendlier. It probably sort of works. “So, since I never asked, uh- what is it you wanna do exactly, coming back? You want to work on android cases, I guess, since you said you got reports on that? And nothing with airplane travel.” He smiles a little more, trying to lighten the mood. “Wouldn’t of thought an android could be one of those guys who always thinks his plane’s gonna fall out of the sky. Was the flight really that bad?” 

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

“Rick would very likely try to find me.” The man blamed him for everything wrong in his and Emily’s relationship before chasing him out. His wanting to end Isaac as he had his family was no new information to him. “He very much wanted to kill me like he did them.” Which Connor would know - he’d seen his memories of the situation. “He shouldn’t know where you are.” The android detective states. Which is.. possibly true. Isaac is likely overthinking things. No surprise with all that has happened and his suddenly actually having the time to think about.. everything. 

Hank nods, thoughtful. Rick trying to find him is something they could use, lure the guy out, but it’s not an option Hank seriously considers. They almost never do that when the bait is a cop, nevermind a civilian. But it does occur to him, briefly, before he pulls in to the clinic and parks, twisting in his seat to look behind him at Isaac. “You want to come in with us? If an android technician’s in you might be able to ask em a couple questions about repairs. You know. If you ever wanted to get some. Not necessarily today, but. Can’t hurt to ask.” 

Yeah, Hank sure did get more awkward there the longer that question went on. But it’s an awkward question, he doesn’t know if he’s stepping over a line or not, asking it. 

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

The android getting away from them had proved to be helpful to other androids. It’s interesting how it seemed to have some sort of positive chain reaction. Well, someone died in the result of it, but even Connor doesn’t feel sorry for the man passing. It might be the law for them to investigate their death, but if anything.. His death was brought on himself. “I ran into a lot of androids we were meant to capture since then.” Which he’s failed to mention before. There hadn’t been a reason to before now. It makes sense with how he’d gone to Jericho once upon a time. 

“Her name is Kara,” Isaac chimes in, speaking of the android that got away from them. “And the child’s name is Alice - an android child.” As strangely, somehow, android children weren’t well-known to those who didn’t seek them out. Humans who wanted children of their own, but couldn’t have them in the ‘natural’ way. The topic shifts to Rick after he mentions these things. It makes him uncomfortable to hear about him. It’s not exactly avoidable right now. “Rick has always had violent tendencies toward his wife and me. It always seemed to be out of jealousy.” 

“From what I saw of Isaac’s memory, this is true.” Connor confirms, frowning a bit at the idea. It’s a strange thing - what leads humans to harm others.

Hank looks a little uncomfortable when Isaac mentions the android kid; luckily the conversation moves on before they can really get into that, and Hank’s happy to forget about it. It’s not their fault, he knows that, he knows that they’re real, living children too. He does. But it freaks him out. The whole idea of humans designing a machine to mimic a real, breathing- a human child freaks him out in a way that’s been hard to shake. Lucky for him he doesn’t really have to, when he comes across one at work he calls up an android at child services and lets them take care of the whole thing - but it’s still a reaction he doesn’t want Isaac to see, the kind of fact about Hank that the android staying at his fucking house, totally at his mercy for a whole night, shouldn’t have to know. 

He’s glad when he comes up on the store he’s looking for - not the CyberLife store, which is a minute or two away, but the one that’s going to get him through the next twenty four or so hours. “Hold up,” he says, pulling in and parking. “I’ll be right back.” And he is. He knows what he wants and goes for it, then opens up Connor’s door and lifts the twelve pack with raised eyebrows, motioning for Connor to move his feet so he can put it down there. 

“So, Rick,” he says, getting right back to it. “You’re saying he probably won’t try to hurt someone unless he gets close to em first? Still not great, but it could be worse. Gives us a little more time to find him.” 

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

“That sounds fine.” The station Hank stops on happened to be a jazz station. It’s easy to listen to in the background of Hank and Connor talking and wouldn’t end up being overwhelming. 

“Well,” Connor begins, knowing he’ll have to explain the new information regarding Zlatko and how it opened and closed a whole other case upon Isaac’s mentioning it “The location of ‘Rick’ is still unknown, but Isaac is definitely innocent, however, the mention of ‘Zlatko’ was brought up while Isaac and I were speaking - which opened a whole other case.” He pauses a moment before continuing, providing information on a case Hank might not be familiar with. “Zlatko Andronikov; Previously arrested for embezzlement and fraud, released a few years later only to be found dead outside his home during the rise of ‘deviancy’. Upon inspection of the house, there’d been findings of androids left in varying terrible conditions so the idea that an android - or androids ended his life was suspected and this appears to be the case.”

Isaac meets Connor’s gaze, the two of them managing to glance at each other via the rearview mirror. “Isaac was one of the androids being held captive there, however, is not guilty of being the one who took Zlatko’s life. His murder was the result of the many other androids he held captive revolting against him after being set free by the AX400 we were meant to arrest but got away on one of our first cases together.” Now Connor is looking to Hank in a ‘how ironic’ sort of fashion. 

It’s not exactly Hank’s first choice for driving music, jazz, and he usually has to be in a really specific mood for it - a good mood, a relaxed mood, a, for the past few years, really fucking rare mood - but he can’t fault Isaac’s taste, especially since the guy probably needs to listen to something relaxing right now. It gives Connor’s grisly news a weird, incongruously chill vibe, having that jazz on in the background while he says it, but Hank can deal. 

He listens to the jazz for a moment, watching the road and thinking. “Well,” he decides. “All’s well that ends well, I guess. AX400, that’s uh...” He pauses, going through his mental list of the different models - a list that’s a lot bigger these days than it used to be - and matching his mental picture up to the memories of those weird early days with Connor, with not knowing how all this shit was going to turn out. “That’s the one that ran across the highway, right? With that kid? See, I told you chasing after her was a bad idea.” He reaches out to pat Connor’s arm with the back of his hand, smiling a little. 

“So,” he goes on, “what about Rick? We can’t find him yet, how worried should we be about that? He’s killed before, how likely do you think he is to do it again?” 

He glances in the rearview mirror at Isaac for a second when he says it, wanting to imply that he’s also asking Isaac without outright asking him. Isaac’s judgment on the guy would be valuable, but the poor bastard’s probably traumatized to hell and back and the last thing Hank wants to do is to make him answer that kind of question if he’s not up to it. Connor’s judgment on its own is enough for him, if that’s all he gets. 

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

With Hank in front, Connor walks behind Isaac in an attempt to make sure he was protected from both sides. Luckily with the both of them present, they aren’t bothered too much, Connor quickly helping Isaac into the back of the vehicle and making sure he was secure before slipping into the front passenger side of the vehicle. “That went.. surprisingly well.” Connor is voicing, following up the statement with a question “Are you alright, Isaac?”

The whole ordeal was stressful and yes, it could have most definitely gone worse. LED is yellow over the whole thing. “I’ll be alright.” Which is to say that he is stressed, but that he would feel better soon. Though he can’t help but think about how when this is all over there’s still very likely going to be these sorts of people hounding him. Once Hank is no longer watching him Isaac would be free game. He wonders if either him or Connor have realized this.

Hank glances in the rearview at Isaac, trying to read him, but it’s hard. Kind of hard to read a guy when half the guy’s face is gone. That’s not how he’s supposed to think of it, probably, but that’s how it feels. 

He looks away and pulls out of the parking lot, not buckling up, and turns the radio on, hitting the button that makes it flip to a new station every few seconds. “Hey, Isaac. Tell me when you hear something you like, alright?” Maybe that’ll give him something to focus on, if he’s freaked out about the whole almost-making-the-evening-news thing. 

“So, where are we at on the case?” he asks Connor, taking the turn-off that’ll take him to the nearest corner store in the direction of that CyberLife shop. “What all’d I miss?”

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

To Connor, it’s no surprise that there are any journalists or anything to that nature about. What bothers him is his lack of taking this into mind sooner. That they’re probably here over somehow hearing about Isaac. They’d likely love to take advantage of the story of an android blamed for a murder that proved to be innocent. It’s.. quite a big story, actually. It’s in this realization that he speaks “They’re most likely here because of Isaac.” And Isaac isn’t surprised either, but that doesn’t make him any less bothered or distressed by it. The yellowing of his LED is proof enough of that. 

“Unfortunately, your story would be a huge headliner,” Connor speaks to Isaac as he flashes him an almost apologetic look. “I’m aware.” His reply to Connor is more agreeing about how unfortunate it is than being bothered by the other android bringing it up to begin with. The presence of those humans, while not surprising, is still quite bothersome. “ ‘Android under investigation for murder ends in his release’. Something like that.” Isaac has seen enough news on television, newspaper, and magazines alike to recognize how one might write his headline. It’d possibly be twisted to victimize humans to androids to make it appear as though they aren’t to be trusted after all, but also fuel to make androids angry at humans for not just him being taken in, but by the sight of him. Because a human is the reason he looks the way he does.

“We won’t let them bother you.” This reassurance comes from Connor who is still watching him, having noticed his distress by the colour of his LED. “It’ll be alright.” And if he wasn’t sure Isaac would have been bothered by being touched without warning he would have given him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. 

“They can get their headlines somewhere else,” Hank says, moving between the journalists - who, even now, look like they smelled blood and are starting to head this way - and the androids. It’s nice, sometimes, being kind of a big guy. Makes it easier to throw your weight around. Not that he’d do anything, he’s not that dumb, but he does okay at making people, without having to touch them or say much, think that maybe it’s a good time for them to back off. It’s a job skill.

Which doesn’t mean that camera isn’t going to get shoved too close, or that they’re not going to start firing off a bunch of dumbass questions. Hank - tentatively, in case Isaac isn’t going as fast as Hank thinks they should - starts walking across the parking lot, trying to keep an eye on both directions at once, just to make sure everything goes smooth. 

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

“I’m ready to knock off for the night, but if you got something you wanna wrap up…” Hank does his best to make a face that says to Connor, ‘you’d damn well better not, you got me into this, you bastard’ but which says it to Connor secretly, because Hank decided to say this while he’s facing Isaac like a dumbfuck and he’s not actually sure if he pulls any of that off. Probably he just looks constipated. Maybe Connor will figure it out anyway.

Connor knows very well what Hank is getting at. If not for the fact he learned to read him pretty well by now, at least most of the time, he wouldn’t have. He would have very likely just been perplexed by the expression; Like Isaac is right now when Hank flashes the look at him that he does - which had been by accident, but he doesn’t know that. 

“Of course,” Connor begins, having planned on going with them from the start. Though it’s not like Hank would have known that. Hence his asking. “I planned to accompany you from the beginning.” The words are meant to, in a way, be reassuring of the fact he hadn’t intended to leave the two of them alone. Connor may be oblivious at times, but even he understands how awkward the situation would be for the two of them. 

“Good,” Hank says, his posture deflating just a little with relief, “then let’s get going before someone tries to give us something else to do.” Not that he doesn’t like his job, but - well, sometimes he doesn’t like his job. Especially when it gets late enough that he can get away with going off somewhere and trying not to think for a while.

Not something he’s going to get to do tonight. No breaks. It’s going to be weird, being at home and being on at the same time, having to take lieutenant Anderson back with him.

Maybe it’ll be fine. It’s probably going to be fine. Still, before they head to the CyberLife store he might want a little something to help smooth the night over.

“Think I’m gonna stop for a six pack or something first,” he says as he steps out of the station, and is abruptly distracted. His head turns toward the couple trying real hard to look inconspicuous over there in the parking lot - trying, but not succeeding. It’s pretty hard even these days to hide a professional quality camera.

Must be a slow news day. Then again any reason’s a good reason - according to a fucking journalist, anyway - to ambush a guy coming out of your friendly local police station and shove a microphone in his face. Hank doesn’t know if that’s what’s going to happen here, but it might.

“Fucking vultures,” he mutters, then turns to whoever’s first behind him. “Better figure out which one of you’s calling shotgun now, we might have to book it to the car.”

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softestware‌:

Connor had expected pangs of guilt, especially if Hank had been waiting long, but all of that seemed to fade away when he saw Hank smile. He expected to be on the receiving end of some anger or disappointment, but either that wasn’t the case, or Hank was just good at hiding it or forgetting about it, and Connor was definitely grateful for that. He even found himself leaning into Hank’s touch. With a sudden lifetime of tactile sensations to make up for, it seemed he reveled in receiving physical touch from others. He realized that the first time Hank ever hugged him, and he couldn’t lie and say it didn’t at least partway influence his decision to come back.

“I should have come back sooner, it’s just that it was hard to find the time with everything that was going on…” He actually did feel guilty about thinking of his work helping Markus as boring. But to be fair, it was uneventful. Being Markus’ security meant taking out any threats that showed in all of his meetings, but Connor never actually saw anything dangerous, and now that Markus was holding meetings at places with their own private security, Connor never would.

Seeing cases of brutal murder and assault against his own kind was not the escape from the mundane that Connor was taking joy in, but it was what he was programmed to do, so there was that. His new found emotions didn’t make it easy though, to see his own kind in such a state. But Hank didn’t seem to be getting that if he really thought of Connor coming back as an obligation and assisting Markus as his calling, instead of the other way around.

“Of course. I mean, the revolution is important to me, but I’m not a very important part of it anymore. I’ve decided to influence the politics and fight from the home front by serving and protecting my own kind.”  He wondered if Hank knew how close Connor had been to giving it all up before it even started. In that moment in CyberLife tower, Connor had been willing to leave those thousands of androids dormant if it meant saving Hank. He knew if Markus knew how close Connor had been to ruining the whole plan, there’s no way he’d trust Connor like he did.

“Hm.” He checked his internal clock for how long until they had to be at their desks. “I guess we do have time considering there aren’t any open cases that need our immediate attention—“ He took his hand from his chin and lifted his head. “Get back? Didn’t you know that I plan on returning to police work indefinitely?”

“Indefinitely.” Hank frowns, shoving his hands in his pockets and thinking it over. He doesn’t know how he feels about that. 

“Shit,” he realizes, a second later. “I think someone did try to tell me you were comin, gave me the files on the newest batch of officers coming in, but I uh-” He glances at Connor guiltily before frowning back at the slush under his shoes. When he got it he'd just been thinking, great, more pointless bullshit I got to check off on, and he’d been too focused on worrying about seeing Connor again to deal with it. The lieutenant he’d used to be would of made sure to at least glance at it, sign off on it so the wheels of bureaucracy could keep on turning; the guy he is had thrown it on his desk, not caring, and forgot it even existed.

“I didn’t get around to it,” he mutters, running his tongue over his teeth. If he’s honest, he probably never was going to get around to it. That’s the kind of neglect, a little part of Hank notes, that Connor’s gonna notice if he’s going to be sticking around. Connor’s not stupid, and he’s going to be paying a lot of attention to the way the way Hank gets shit done. The last time - the first time - the two of them’d worked together, that hadn’t mattered. 

That’s not the first reason Hank doesn’t know how he feels about this indefinitely thing but it’s there, and he doesn’t know how he feels about it, either. 

“You’re really sure about that?” he asks, focusing on Connor again now that his own thoughts are at least kind of partly sorted out. Figuring out the rest of whatever this means for him can wait. Connor’s future’s a little more important. “What we’re doing down here, I mean it’s not nothing, but up in DC’s where the real change is happening, that’s where you really got an opportunity to make a difference. What makes you so sure you wanna give that up?”

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

“I assure you, I’m not.” Isaac recognizes it’s a sort of joke, but he still wanted to reassure them of his lack of being associated with illegal activities anyway. Truth be told, it felt a little strange to be going home with them, but he wouldn’t deny it’s better than sitting locked in a room until the following morning when someone decided to let him out again. It would bring back terrible memories of being locked away, waiting for Zlatko to come to torture him once more. 

“I was going to bring that up, actually,” Connor begins, turning his gaze from Hank back to Isaac. “I noticed your thirium levels are quite low; Do you have the means to replenish it on your own or do you require assistance?” Which is basically him re-asking Hank’s question, but he does so simply because something tells him Isaac might lie and claim he’s fine if he doesn’t note his ability to tell the condition of other androids simply by scanning them. “I.. don’t.” Is Isaac’s first response. Connor had been right. He intended on acting as though he didn’t need help. It’s instinct. His lack of self-worth getting in the way again. “If.. ‘assistance’ would be alright, then I need it, yes.” Isaac current expression reads clear as day that he didn’t appreciate being backed into a corner to accept help. 

Hank raises his eyebrows, watching the android’s face - which he’s sort of getting used to looking at - with a dry, amused look. He makes a note of the fact that the guy might lie about this shit, and of the fact that Connor can call him on it.

“That’d be why I asked, yeah,” he says, and raises his hand, reconsiders his reflex to give a friendly shoulder clasp to the guy whose last contact with a human was probably getting fucking tortured or some kind of fucked up shit, and redirects the gesture so his hand trails over Connor’s back as he walks behind him, heading toward the front door. Then he stops, looking back at Connor. 

“Uh, you coming with us?” He tries not to sound hopeful, and thinks he mostly succeeds. The last time Hank took a guy he’d only just met back to spend the night at his place he hadn’t had to worry about finding shit to talk about; unless Isaac discovers some kind of deep and, let’s be real, deeply unlikely passion for basketball Hank’s pretty much used up his supply of generic smalltalk, and he’s kind of hoping for a third wheel to make the night run a little smoother. But it’s not like he wants Isaac to know that. 

“I’m ready to knock off for the night, but if you got something you wanna wrap up...” Hank does his best to make a face that says to Connor, ‘you’d damn well better not, you got me into this, you bastard’ but which says it to Connor secretly, because Hank decided to say this while he’s facing Isaac like a dumbfuck and he’s not actually sure if he pulls any of that off. Probably he just looks constipated. Maybe Connor will figure it out anyway.

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

“I never really listened to music,” And not because he had no interest. It just never crossed his mind to in the past. “But many androids are familiar with Christopher.” A musician android who had gone deviant; The day of his deviancy had been an almost worldwide shown concert where the android decided to sing what he wanted to instead of what he’d been told. He sang about the torment he’d been put through by his human managers and the like. It opened the eyes of many humans who watched it and gave androids a symbol of hope. 

“But I’m open to trying music, definitely.” Isaac liked trying new things. It was interesting. However, before he could indulge in looking through the ipod they’re interrupted by a familiar face - Connor. The android finally returned after turning in his reports on the situation.

“I’ve completed my report and turned everything in,” Connor spoke after looking toward Isaac in acknowledgement before turning his gaze to Hank. “Finding the true culprit seems to be proving to be an issue so Fowler wanted me to bring up that taking Isaac back to your place might be necessary for the time being; That is, if the both of you are comfortable with it.” Brows raise slightly as his head tilts forward before he continues “Otherwise he will have to be held in one of the holding cells for the night.” This explains the look he’d just given Hank. It read ‘are you really going to let that happen?’ 

“If it’s an inconvenience - I can stay here.” Isaac interrupts, voicing this in his not wanting to be a burden to either of them.

“We’re not putting you in a cell,” Hank says, heaving himself to his feet and scratching a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. He thinks he hid his reluctance to do it quick enough that Isaac, at least, might not of seen it - it’s hard to tell with androids, though. There’d been his split second distaste when the guy’d mentioned that android musician, the split second of dismay when he realized what Connor was going to say, those have to go, get folded up and locked away before they make it onto his face long enough for the civilian who needs to trust him to notice. There’d been Hank’s tight, sarcastic little look, a silent yeah, thanks so much, in response to that look Connor gave him but that one’s okay, that one’d been a reaction to Connor being a guilt-tripping little shit, and probably won’t make Isaac feel too weird about staying in a fucking house with him. 

Hank doesn’t take his work home with him. That’s a habit he’d started out sort of sticking to and then really hammered in when- a while ago, for reasons that don’t really count anymore but he still sticks to it, partly out of habit and partly from experience that’s seen other cops burn out hot and fast from not doing the same thing. And he doesn’t take lieutenant Anderson home with him, the guy who’s patient when he needs to be, who’s a decent listener, a decent guy, the kind of competent, steady officer vulnerable people might feel okay about putting their trust in. It’s been easier to reach for that guy just lately but Hank doesn’t have an unlimited supply, and keeping it up at home’s gonna be-

It’s going to be fine. Who gives a shit? It’s going to go okay. He’ll just keep watching his every little noise and microexpression to force every little hint of backwards, bigoted bullshit off it for the next few hours, and then the morning, and then he’ll come to work and do it all again. Be a decent person for a little while longer. It’s not like it has to be a big fucking deal. 

“I mean, unless you’re engaged in some big bad illegal activities you haven’t told us about,” he adds with a little smile, knocking his knuckles on his desk as he walks around to stand near to Connor. “Anything you guys need before we head home? CyberLife store’s just like, five minutes in the other direction. You need um, extra thirium, or...” He trails off, unable to think of any more examples other than repairs, the kind of repairs Isaac’s already said he’s got issues about the idea of getting. So. Whatever. There’s no harm in at least offering. 

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

The joke does make Isaac laugh just a little. He’s not sure what kind of game Hank would even have them play - though he is, most definitely, familiar with videogames. Isaac did look after children in the past, after all. Videogames were a commonality in the lives of children. 

“It’s just there’s a lot of graphic detail that would be unsettling for anyone to hear about in my past.” Human and android alike. “Something I’m sure your partner, Connor, will go over with you soon.” As Isaac made the mistake of mentioning Zlatko in his attempts to clear his name; The man being murdered during the most chaotic time for androids wasn’t allowed to be let go lightly. Still, as he did with what else he’d been accused of, he gave the necessary information and ‘visual’ needed to clear his name. While also sparing Connor of most of the ‘gory’ details. 

“The closest thing I know to compare my life to during the time androids were criminalized is a horror movie. One of the ones containing physical torture.” As though to remind him that he’d endured just that a hand lifted to touch the side of his own face. “Putting it into words without making a human or android feel ‘sick’ would be difficult, I think.”

Hank gives a slow nod and watches him for a moment. His gaze is alert and misses nothing but, again, he doesn’t push it. Now, here he’s more able to be lieutenant Anderson, skate away from those sore spots and nearer to a place where he’s confident, comfortable. He’d be ashamed of it, maybe, if it didn’t feel so much like getting back to normal that it didn’t even occur to him to think about it. There’s a person in front of him who’s experienced some truly horrible shit; must be a day ending in y. You get insulated against it, sort of, even if you don’t really want to - at least, when you’re doing it right, when that horrible shit is far enough from anything that hits you outside work that you can interact with them on the level of a guy who needs your help, when the shit you’re hearing doesn’t dig into you down into places you just don’t go. 

“That’s fine,” he says, and doesn’t recommend the therapy thing again because, hell, the guy knows it’s an option now, wherever Isaac goes from here is his choice and his business. 

Wherever he goes later, anyway. Where he goes today is very much Hank’s business, as long as he has to babysit him. 

It’s not Isaac’s fault. He’s even been pretty laid back about the whole thing. Hank’s foot taps for a moment, then he leans to grab his ipod and his headphones and pushes them in Isaac’s direction. “Do you know much about music? I’d bet good money you’re not into most of the shit I’ve got on there but there might be one or two things in there that’ll keep you entertained for a while.” 

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

“I’m not sure you want the loaded answer that would follow that advice.” More of his past, graphic explanations of what he’d gone through - no one wants to hear about that, he’s sure. “The short version would be.. It didn’t hit me what all had happened until the revolution came.” Being held hostage and left in a constant state of fear and agony only to still continue to lift in fear despite being ‘free’. Moving from place to place, hiding himself away in fear of being found and killed. 

Isaac is sure that his ‘lack of time to grieve’ is a commonality in androids. It wouldn’t be surprising. “I’m sure that’s the case for many androids,” He begins “That there was no time to grieve because we were spending our time running and hiding in fear of losing our lives.” Still a loaded response, but not as much so like the one he could have given. “I know that’s still a lot, but trust me, it’s not as graphic as me going into detail about what happened to me.” Even Connor knows more about this over the simple fact Isaac made the mistake of mentioning Zlatko whom they’d found dead during the revolution, leading him to have to prove his innocence there too. Of course, he spared the android the gruesome details of what Zlatko had done to him and how.

“Perhaps we should talk about something less.. extreme? If you would prefer?” As Isaac feels a little bad for unloading onto Hank like this. It’s not really the man’s job to be Isaac’s personal therapist. 

"Don’t worry about what I’d prefer,” he says with a shrug and a faint smile, too focused on being normal, being lieutenant Anderson and not Hank the fuck up, to think about the actual truth of what he’s saying. “I wouldn’t of gotten into the whole cop thing in the first place if I couldn’t handle heavy shit. But sure, we can try to lighten it up again if you want. I guess, uh...” 

He thinks a second, then gives up with little apologetic look. “I don’t know, it feels like we blew right past all the normal ice breakers. I could bring up a game on my computer, captain can’t get me for blowing off work if I’m entertaining a civilian.” He should grin after that, cause it’s a joke, but a friendly look’s all he can manage. It’s fine. 

“Do you prefer it? I know I wouldn’t want to talk about any of the stuff you’ve gone through if it was me but, turns out not everyone’s me. Go figure.” This self deprecating look here, now that sits more easily on Hank’s face than ‘friendly’ does. For the moment. He’ll be back up to par in a minute. He just has to get used to relating to this guy without relating to him, it’s not that hard. 

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

“You can only know what advice to give based on what you know - you can’t help having to fill in the blanks.” Meaning that Isaac isn’t bothered by his attempts to help. Hank can only give based on what he already knows. “I appreciate the attempt all the same.” Isaac smiles as though to further reassure Hank of this. 

“Perhaps there’s a level of fear that prevents me from approaching others.” A fear of many things; How others would react to his appearance, for one. But despite the fact Isaac acts so kindly he has a general fear of people. “Or perhaps what I have is what you humans refer to as ‘anxiety’ - I have a fear of people in general. Or at least approaching them. Not just humans.” Just like there were many humans who looked at him in repulsion there were androids who did this too. His appearance was not normal.

“I’m sure things will become easier over time - it’s just difficult right now.” As always, Isaac is retaining a positive mindset. Even if he’s hurting, he’s still managing to convince himself things will get better. “I’m just not sure where to start, I guess.” In improving his life. “When you’re used to having lived a certain way for so long it’s hard to know how to ‘start over’.” Even humans experienced this. On television shows or not, there was always a sort of truth about some things. Children acting a certain way for the approval of their parents, living how their parents want them to even if it went against who they were, living that lie their whole lives and having something large change in their lives that finally wakes them to who they really are; Or maybe they just decided they were sick of it.

The only thing about it is that Isaac enjoyed living with his family. Aside from Rick and seeing how he treated Emily, he enjoyed that life. He loved what he had with Emily, what he had with the kids and it’s highly likely that it was over how he deviated and how Emily was the one who realized it. “I should have done something - but I didn’t.” And three people died for it.

And he said that without thinking about it. 

Hank’s expression tightens, hinting at a grimace. That’s a lot, he thinks, that at the end there. That’s a hell of a lot. 

He misses hearing this shit from the other side of the interrogation table. It’s not so personal there. Personal shit, grief, guilt and grief, they don’t set that sympathetic note ringing inside him because it’s not so personal there. You’ve got to disengage in there, wear empathy without really deep down feeling it. 

For a while there Fowler made sure Hank didn’t get put in situations like this, ones that might make him think of- of shit he’s not going to think about when he’s here. But he guesses Fowler doesn’t feel like he has to look out for Hank anymore. Or maybe he’s just sick and tired of doing it. Hank unfocuses his eyes, not looking so close at the android’s face. He takes a slow breath, disengaging. 

His arms are wrapped around his chest and he leaves them there. His lips tilt into a tiny, flickering smile, looking at Isaac again. “Y’know, they say-” they, his old therapist - his ex-therapist - they say. “-that’s the kind of shit you’ve got to let go of before you can start over. Saying it’s your fault. You know. If starting over’s what you want to do.” 

He almost adds some more of those invitations to tear him a new one if he’s crossed a line by saying that, but Isaac’s already made it really clear that’s not something he’s interested in. Hank doesn’t get it personally, though he knows it’s true. Some people just don’t get mad. Not the kind of people he usually sees in here, though, that’s for sure.

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itsameuhmultimuse‌:

It’s hard not to notice the movement of Hank’s gaze, eyes catching sight of all of the different things on his desk and around it. Isaac isn’t quite sure he really gets the humour, but it’s most likely because, well, he’s an android on top of the fact he hadn’t been socialized that well. The only people he really interacted with were his ‘family’ and the teachers of Noah and Jordan in ‘parent-teacher conferences’ when Rick or Emily couldn’t make it due to their work schedule.

Still, he leaves it be, making no comments on anything but the words spoken to him and the question asked. “I imagine you’re quite busy,” With work, that is. Officers and detectives always seemed to be. “Considering your line of work.” Though he’s not quite sure how to answer the question asked of him without sounding pathetic. Isaac doesn’t exactly have hobbies or things like that. While there are things he enjoys doing, he’s not so sure they would be considered ‘hobbies’.

“Well..” Is his reaching for an answer obvious? “I mostly take walks and go to the nicer looking places in the city - like parks - things like that.” Which very likely sounded boring, didn’t it? “Before I had to leave my home, there were things I enjoyed doing, but since leaving, I don’t really have the option to do them.” Before the people he would do them with were dead. How did the subject somehow miraculously find its way back here? Talking to him must be so depressing; The subject always somehow finding its way to a sadder, darker place.

“I spend a lot of my time on my own.” 

Spending a lot of time on your own isn’t necessarily a bad thing, Hank knows that - or it wouldn’t have been, if Isaac saying it hadn’t been proceeded by that implication, that ‘not anymore’ that shut the door on whatever kid of stuff the poor bastard used to like doing. Hank opens his mouth - and catches himself about to give advice, and then he closes his mouth and snorts, shaking his head. “I’m probably the last guy you should be listening to for advice on how to - I don’t know, get out and live your life, or whatever. But, you know, it’s a brave new world and all that.” 

Hank shrugs a shoulder with a casual, it can’t hurt to try sort of vibe. “Who’s gonna stop you from, say, uh... joining a book club? Playing chess with some little old guys in the park, getting into some kind of sport, whatever. I think someone’s doing some kind of job placement thing for androids too so, y’know.” 

He ends kind of lamely, not sure what kind of conclusion to make, not sure what he’s actually trying to say to the guy since he’s not willing to commit to the idea that he’s actually giving out advice on this shit - him, telling a guy in this fucking situation how he ought to dig himself out of that hole. “Sorry,” he says after a second of thinking back on what he’s just said, hearing himself. “Sounds like some kinda self help book bullshit, doesn’t it? Like I know shit about your life.”