fknathaniel

[fknathaniel]

[fknathaniel]

“I know you are.. my tease,” Nathaniel remarked in return, the same grin playing across his features. The duke smirked yet again as Jay tugged at one of his curls, before laying back when the smaller male promptly straddled his chest. His hands moved to the boy’s hips, resting on the curve of them as he looked up toward his deeply blue orbs. The grin that lit up Jay’s pretty features only had that funny, swoopy feeling returning to Nathaniel’s chest -- god, there was just something about making the boy happy. Something about it that the duke could never, ever get enough of.

Feigning shock, Nathaniel gave a squeeze to the very hips where his hands rested, eyes drawing down to where Jay’s fingertips played across his skin. “D’you really think I’d let your birthday slip by without me getting to fuck you, hm? I mean, there’s gotta be at least one thing in it for me,” he spoke teasingly, whining as his boyfriend suddenly rolled off and stood up, reaching out to make grabby hands for him before the duke was distracted by the sight of his perfect ass sauntering away. “Nope, no hints,” Nathaniel shook his head, swinging his legs off of the side of the bed before moving to stand up himself. “S’all a complete surprise, because what fun is a birthday without any surprises, mm? You wanna eat something here before we go, or should we grab a bite of brunch in the city?” the duke questioned over his shoulder as he strode toward the grand closet.

a vision in the morning

[fknathaniel]

A playful groan escaped Nathaniel as the words fell from Jay’s lips along with the giggle, a protest to the very idea of not getting any sex at all for an entire week. “You know I’d miss this -- sucha lil’ tease, even on your birthday,” the duke grinned, letting his hand slip playfully down to his boyfriend’s ass to give it a quick squeeze, before bringing it back up to slide his fingertips through the softness of Jay’s hair. “So old, mm? Are you gonna need a walking stick soon, baby?” Nathaniel grinned as he met Jay’s pretty blue eyes, his own mind drifting back to the previous year that they’d spent his birthday together. It hadn’t exactly gone over well, he remembered, when he’d claimed the boy; it seemed like such a distant memory now, so far away.. and yet so close. Because now, he actually had Jay as his own, in so many more ways than a simple collar and claiming could provide. 

Nathaniel’s eyebrows rose in interest at the mention of whether or not he had plans; of course, Jay had absolutely no idea of what he had in store -- not like he’d been planning it for weeks or anything. He had a tendency to spoil those that he loved, always lavishing them with gifts; but with Jay, it was different. He actually wanted to do things for Jay just to see the boy happy, for that sole purpose. And that made it so much different than anything else. “We can do anything you want during the day, I’ll have them get the plane for London,” Nathaniel nodded casually as if it were no big deal, anything for Jay. “But tonight, we have to return here. By six at the latest. For.. reasons,” the duke couldn’t keep the grin from returning, head cocking to the side as he tucked a strand of hair behind Jay’s ear. “Reasons for which you won’t know until tonight, birthday boy.”

a vision in the morning

[fknathaniel]

If anything, the last few months had been a dream -- if Nathaniel had ever thought he’d liked life before, well damn, he’d been wrong. There was just something else to life when Jay was around; a light to his life that had never been there before, if he were being truly honest with himself. It was as if his own cynical self had somewhat been eased by the mere presence of the other.. Jay made him happier, so much happier than anyone else on the estate had seen him in what felt like forever. There was something to say, also, for the way that practically everyone who worked on the estate seemed to take to Jay. It was as if they’d all known him their whole lives -- Nathaniel could see it in their faces, the way they all lit up when he was around, how they loved to see the Duke happy and how it made them all happy themselves in the meantime. 

It was on the particular morning that Nathaniel was slowly roused from his sleep, however, than an even bigger smile than usual of late spread across his features. But god, how could he help it, with Jay being around? “Mmmm?” came the playful murmur, playing dumb for just the beginning, although he was well aware that the grin across his features probably gave him away. “What day is it again? Someone’s birthday?” eyes finally opened as the Duke smiled coyly, gaze roaming over Jay’s pretty features as he pulled the male even more onto his chest, arms securing around the boy. Of course, he’d already planned things for the special day -- none of which he’d told Jay anything about, deliberately. It was hard to keep the happiness from his tone as the duke held his boyfriend, eyebrows raising. “Would it happen to be this pretty one’s birthday, mm?” Nathaniel let his fingertips card through Jay’s fringe, still grinning playfully. “No sex for a whole week would be awfully tragic.”

a vision in the morning

The last several months had Jay slipping into the most idyllic life he’d ever known—a life he’d never thought he’d ever know. He’d wake up with his nose buried in Nathaniel’s soft pillows and the royal’s arms around his waist, and go down to a full English breakfast, and spend the day either exploring the estate or with Nathaniel. He made friends with Nathaniel’s personal servants, all of whom had gotten used to Jay’s presence, and he was finally starting to feel comfortable in the mansion. It was, without doubt, the best few months of his life he’d ever had.

This particular morning, Jay woke up from a dream about the day Nathaniel had claimed him. It had been his 22nd birthday, he’d been brought a cake by a very nice master, and Nathaniel had put the collar on him. How angry Jay had been then, how much he was so sure he hated Nathaniel with everything he had in him. How odd to think that had all really happened. The island almost felt like the longest hallucination, like now that he was back in England, it instantly faded into a distant memory. Sniffling in a little breath, he rolled over and looked at the clock next to the bed. 8:37, December 1. December 1.

He sat upright, feeling the corners of his mouth tug upward. “Nathaniel,” he whispered, laying on the duke’s chest and tugging at a loose curl. “Nathaniel, wake up. It’s my birthday and since you made my last one shit, I expect you to make it up to me today or you’re not getting any sex for a week.”

[fknathaniel]

[fknathaniel]

Our room. Jay rather liked the sound of that too. Calling it theirs as opposed to just Nathaniel’s was the first thing that had really made him feel like his own person since arriving home. Their room, their bed, their own space to hide from responsibilities and whatever Nathaniel might have to do and just spend time together. Already Jay was looking forward to it, to a more permanent room and bed to call home for as long as he stayed. He liked to think it wasn’t a bad thing to enjoy the luxury while it was available to him. “A bath?” he repeated. God, he hadn’t had a bath since he was young. He’d been showering since he was nine and never went back. The thought of a hot, relaxing bath with Nathaniel sounded too tempting to pass up, though—and Nathaniel was right, the trip had been rather long. Maybe a bath was just what he needed to put himself a bit more at ease in the mansion. “Yeah, that’d be nice. Lead the way?” He smiled, a small quirk of his lips, and shyly clung to Nathaniel’s wrist as he let himself be led through the massive home. It seemed the grandeur never ended, something gilded or shiny or jeweled or otherwise elegant around every corner. It felt imposing, surely, but Jay just held tighter, as if to ground himself. 

“A bath, mm, just the two of us,” Nathaniel murmured lowly, letting the smaller male cling to his side, his arm looping itself casually around Jay’s curvy little waist as they made their way up the grand staircase. Nothing in the world sounded better than sliding into warm water with Jay, in all honesty; the royal continued to lead them both up to the second floor, the large chandelier that hung over the grand staircase sparkling in the lights. It really was a beautiful, magnificent home -- and it hadn’t even truly crossed Nathaniel’s mind to think that Jay had never been in a place like this before. He wanted the boy to feel comfortable, as comfortable as possible.. ever since they had first met, the duke had felt the initial instinct to take care of Jay. To protect him, to make sure he was safe.. and now, above all things, to make sure he was happy and.. loved. It was crazy, really, how this had all happened -- a year ago, Nathaniel wouldn’t have expected anything like this in the slightest. And now here he was, head over heels for someone who knew nothing of his world. Reaching the second floor, Nathaniel gave Jay’s hand a reassuring squeeze as he led him down the warmly lit hallway to the double doors at the far end, the grand master bedroom where he slept. “This is our room,” the royal grinned then, turning the handle on one of the doors and letting go of his hold on the boy only to allow him to step in first.

i'll be gone, gone tonight // Nathaniel & Jay

[fknathaniel]

As soon as Jay said the words, he almost wanted to take them back. Almost. He knew Nathaniel was just as nervous as he was, was just as unsure but in different ways, and the gentle tone he got in response made him feel guilty. Of course the duke was only looking out for him and wanting him to feel comfortable. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I get it, I do. And thank you. Can we…well, I don’t know if this is asking too much. But can we keep that room like, just in case, if I just need me own space? But I think I’d like to stay with you when I can.” When you want me to, he added in his head, still not fully acclimated to the idea that someone like Nathaniel would want someone like him to stick around. The prospect of sleeping alone was a strange one—the last time he had, it had been the week Nathaniel was gone and Jay ended up a confused mess, and Jay had come to crave warmth beside him and around him. “Our room,” he repeated, his smile coming back slowly, and his hand went to Nathaniel’s. “I think seeing the room now would be nice, though.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Nathaniel spoke instantly in return, his tone soft as he shook his head a bit, hands coming up to rest gently on Jay’s sides. “’course we can.. I just want you to feel like you have your own space, too, yeah? But I -- definitely want you sleeping with me,” the royal took a bit of a step closer, already thinking that he wouldn’t like sleeping a single night without Jay in his arms. He’d come so used to falling asleep with the warmth of the smaller male pressed up against his chest, with Jay’s face nestling into the crook of his neck.. it was something that Nathaniel wasn’t sure if he would even be able to sleep without lately. “Our room, mm.. I like the sound of that,” the duke squeezed Jay’s smaller hand in his own, beginning to lead them both toward the grand staircase across the foyer. “I’ve got a great bath tub, if you feel like taking a bath or anything like that? Since we’ve had such a long trip,” Nathaniel’s thumb brushed over his love’s knuckles as he started up.

i'll be gone, gone tonight // Nathaniel & Jay

[fknathaniel]

Jay’s eyelids fluttered shut, the way they always did when Nathaniel touched him like this. He was still getting used to the soft brushes of fingertips over his cheeks and the sides of his face, like he was something delicate or precious, but a part of him never wanted to, never wanted to lose the fluttery feeling he got in his stomach when it happened. “Good,” he whispered, tilting his face up and smiling into the kiss. “Yeah, I’d feel better if I’m with you.” He didn’t stop to think about the weight of the words, how he’d never felt that way about anyone before, before Nathaniel was next to him, breath hot over the shell of his ear. Jay’s first reaction was to nod and follow him, wanting nothing more than to get lost with him, but the setting up of the guest room still bothered him. “So you want me now, but not later,” he muttered, not moving away but tensing where he stood. “Why…why am I in a guest room? Am I—” Jay shook his head a little. “I…thought I was going to be with you. Like, in your room.”

The words that Jay spoke aloud had that familiar funny feeling dipping through Nathaniel’s chest, the feeling that honestly no one had ever caused him to feel before -- and jesus, how was it possible that just a few words from the smaller male could be the cause of them? It was only when Jay tensed slightly that Nathaniel sensed a shift in the tone, eyebrows raising just slightly as he paused in his own step, gaze moving back over toward the male beside him. “That’s not how I meant it,” Nathaniel spoke carefully, hand coming up to gently catch Jay’s elbow. “It’s -- I thought that, maybe..” he trailed off for a moment, attempting to gather his thoughts and make sense of this new situation that they’d both been so suddenly thrust into. “You’ve been ordered to stay in one place for so long, and I thought it would be nice for you to be able to have your own space here,” Nathaniel murmured finally, brushing his fingertips gently against Jay’s elbow. “But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t want you with me, in my room. Or.. our room?”

i'll be gone, gone tonight // Nathaniel & Jay

[fknathaniel]

[fknathaniel]

“Now, if you want? I mean, if you want to rest that’s fine too. I just want to drop my bag off in my room, can I do that? And then have you show me around? I wouldn’t feel comfortable on my own…not yet.” Jay dropped his eyes, but seconds later he found himself looking up again. Nathaniel was holding his face in that way again, with both hands cupping his cheeks like Jay was something delicate, breakable, even, and looking at him with so much love in his eyes—the boy honestly didn’t know if he’d ever get used to it. The words made him smile, and he nodded, shutting his eyes for a moment. “Yeah,” he breathed in agreement, grinning as the words ghosted across his lips before he felt the warm press of a soft kiss. “You’d better promise. And make sure everyone here knows I’m not some random street urchin, please?” Jay tried his best for a joking tone but his voice shook too much, giving his nervousness away. “I just…don’t feel like I’ll ever fit in, you know?” he admitted. “Maybe that’ll change. But for now, I think I’ll just stick by you when we go around here. Is that alright?”

“Now’s good.. didn’t really wanna leave your side, anyway,” Nathaniel answered honestly, almost taken aback by how true his own words were before shaking his head some. He let both of his thumbs brush once more over Jay’s defined cheekbones, a chuckle escaping his own lips at the other male’s words. “I’ll definitely let them know that you’re not some street urchin -- they’re all gonna treat you like you’re fucking royalty, promise,” the duke couldn’t resist leaning back in once more to press yet another kiss to Jay’s lips, his own eyes closing briefly at the touch before Nathaniel was pulling back yet again. “You d fit in, okay? But.. I like having you by my side, so if you wanna stick with me m’not gonna complain about that one,” the male glanced upward as a few of the maids walked by, nodding toward them before taking another step closer to Jay. “’ve gotta say though, after that long car ride I’ve got half a mind to just scoop you up and take you right to my room,” his tone was a low murmur into Jay’s ear. “Want me to show you my room first, hm?”

i'll be gone, gone tonight // Nathaniel & Jay

[fknathaniel]

[fknathaniel]

cagedjaybird:

“The guest rooms?” Jay kind of hated the way his heart sank some upon hearing that. Did Nathaniel not want him in the same way anymore? Was he being shunted off and kept at arm’s length now that they were back home? The thought only made the fears he’d had in the car seem even more real. But he did his best to keep his shoulders back and his chin level. He could sleep on his own. He’d been doing it for years, anyway. “Yeah, that…sounds great. Thank you.” With a weak attempt at a smile that he hoped could be written off as exhaustion, he gripped his bag, dragging it into the large house behind him. If he had thought the island mansions opulent, they were nothing compared to the duke’s family residence. It was by far the most luxurious place he’d ever seen in his life; just being around this many (probably) expensive things was making his skin tingle with unease. Maybe he needed some time alone to process all of this. “Sure, can you just…maybe show me there? And show me round the place? Not that I’d want to—go anywhere in here without you there. Not yet, at least.” He couldn’t help but wonder if this place would ever feel like home, even in the same way the island mansion had started to feel like one—in a way that allowed him some measure of comfort walking around by himself. Here, he had a feeling it would be some time until he felt that.

It was almost as if Nathaniel could sense Jay’s tone -- did he not want to stay in the guest rooms? Did he want to keep sleeping in the royal’s bed, just as the royal wanted him to? Nathaniel didn’t quite want to question it yet, instead nodding some as they both made their way inside. He ran a hand through his hair, glancing over his shoulder to see the various attendants who worked at the mansion getting his bags and such. “’course I will -- D’you want me to show you around everywhere now, are d’you just wanna rest first?” the duke questioned, head tilting slightly to the side. A bit of a sheepish chuckle escaped him at Jay’s words, shaking his head some as he shifted on his feet. “You can go anywhere you want here, with or without me.. Or explore on your own, too. Whatever you wanna do,” Nathaniel suddenly stepped forward, meeting Jay’s eyes and bringing his hands up to the boy’s cheeks. He dipped in close enough to let their noses brush against one another’s, breathing out slowly. “Everything’s gonna be okay, yeah?” he spoke in a murmur against Jay’s lips, giving him a reassuring look before pressing a chaste kiss there. He could sense that Jay was.. nervous, worried even. And Nathaniel was too, if he were being honest with himself. “I promise.”

i'll be gone, gone tonight // Nathaniel & Jay

[fknathaniel]

cagedjaybird: 

“Only somewhat,” Jay teased with a small smile to hide his growing anxiety. Though, this would be his home for the next—well, however long Nathaniel decided to keep him around for. The stakes felt even higher now that they were back out in the real world. He never would have considered the cells a safety net, but here, if Nathaniel decided he didn’t want Jay anymore, Jay would quite literally be entirely on his own. He had no money and no place to stay in London; he could go back to his family, but he’d be back to square one there too, back to the life he’d tried so hard to get out of. “I do want to see them as soon as possible,” he said, “but…not tomorrow. Think I need some time to get used to everything again. Maybe the day after?” In truth, Jay planned on taking a good amount of the time to just sleep. The rest of the time, though, he would just have to see what the new normal would be living with the duke. Jay leaned his head against the window, then thought better of it and rested against Nathaniel’s chest. He spent the rest of the ride dozing on and off, despite the rest he’d had on the plane. If the royal tried to wake him, he slept right through it. Some time later, he awoke at the sound of the door opening. Humming sleepily, he sat up, blinking owlishly and looking out the window. Nathaniel’s residence was quite possible the grandest thing he’d ever seen, the island aside. “Oh, god,” he muttered, stepping out of the car in a daze after Nathaniel, “I’m fucking dreaming.” His gaze darted from the elaborate entranceway to the perfectly manicured gardens, unsure where to focus his attention. It might have just been paranoia, but he felt like the guards were staring at him; suddenly Jay was too aware of the scruffy black Vans on his feet and the worn-out jeans with holes in the knees.

It was easy for the rest of the car trip, it seemed; the way that Jay fit so naturally against his chest didn’t go unnoticed by Nathaniel, his arm wrapping around the male and fingertips carding through the smaller boy’s soft fringe as he dozed off into his own sleep. He couldn’t nap for long, however, and found himself spending a majority of the ride with his gaze cast out of the window, taking breaks every now and then to watch Jay sleeping peacefully against him. It was.. crazy, really, how much he cared about this boy -- how much he’d grown to love him, in a way that he’d never expected to in a million years. He’d found something at the island that he had never dreamed that he would, and now he was taking that very thing back home with him to an uncertain future. It was only when the car was finally pulling up to the mansion that Jay began to rouse; as the car pulled up and the door was promptly held open for the two of them, Nathaniel stepped out, stretching languidly and extending a hand to Jay in order to help him out. His arm looped easily around the boy’s waist, nodding to a few of the guards as they grabbed for their bags and the duke began to lead Jay toward the front entrance. “S’not a dream, promise you,” he teased lightly, a chuckle escaping him. “I told them in advance to set up the guest rooms for you, so -- you’ll have a place all to yourself,” Nathaniel spoke as the doors were held open for them. He couldn’t help but secretly hope that Jay wanted to sleep with him in his room, but.. Nathaniel also wasn’t sure if the boy were sick of it, if he wanted his own space for a bit to just.. unwind from everything that had happened lately. 

i'll be gone, gone tonight // Nathaniel & Jay

[fknathaniel]

fuckyeahzarry:

8/25

[fknathaniel]

There was something ridiculously endearing about the way that the giggle fell from Jay’s lips; something that had Nathaniel wanting to kiss him very much for it, which he instantly did. “My normal is probably.. somewhat different from your normal,” the royal chose his words carefully in response, keeping the smaller male close by his side. His eyebrows raised slightly at the admission, although Nathaniel couldn’t blame the boy; in all honestly, the Duke was nervous himself. Staying silent as Jay spoke, the royal found himself nodding, letting his own gaze follow the boy’s as it was cast out of the window. The passing countryside was beautiful, but it still didn’t seem to calm any of the nerves that were raging within Nathaniel’s chest and stomach. “I know, I.. of course, I figured you would want that. Whenever you want to see them, just -- yeah, we could get a flight for you? It’s no trouble at all. I just want you to do what you feel like you need to,” he nodded once more, letting his thumb continue to brush over Jay’s smaller knuckles. He couldn’t deny how nice it sounded to be able to spend some time with the boy in the real world, however -- even if it was only a fleeting amount of time, even if Jay wanted to whisk away to see his family the very next day. Nathaniel was still looking forward to it, to all of it. To Jay. 

i'll be gone, gone tonight // Nathaniel & Jay

[fknathaniel]

[fknathaniel]

“The one in Kent, so we’ve got a bit of a drive on our hands,” Nathaniel murmured, breathing out slowly as he let his gaze move out the window as well. God, it was just so nice to be away from the Island -- the royal hadn’t realized how much he’d truly wanted to leave until it happened, and now he couldn’t be happier that all of that was behind them both. He let his own hand cover Jay’s smaller one, liking the way that their hands fit so perfectly inside of one another’s; the royal completely missed the worried look on Jay’s features, as his own gaze was still cast out the window -- and yet his own small worries were drifting throughout his mind. He wanted everything to be okay between the two of them, because honestly, this boy meant more to him than Nathaniel had ever possibly imagined he would. And everything would be okay, right? He could only hope. As the car continued to drive, the royal turned his eyes back to the other male as Jay squeezed his hand; he couldn’t help himself from dipping in closer, pressing his face into the warmth of Jay’s soft neck and letting his lips brush against the skin there. “Can’t wait to show you everything,” Nathaniel murmured, letting his lips trail up to Jay’s jawline and pressing a small kiss there. “S’gonna be so nice being able to do normal things together, y’know?”

i'll be gone, gone tonight // Nathaniel & Jay