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My official position is that Luigi Mangione is innocent because he's not the real killer and whoever the real killer is is also innocent. Two different people who are both innocent.

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i love it when you accidentally meet eyes with a stranger in public and you flash a quick polite smile and they look at you like they wish you were dead in a ditch

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old people are always like “you guys want everything to be easy” yessss queen exactly……

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“gentle reminder-” VIOLENT FORGET !!! ❌

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have 2 wait til tomorrow 2 watch tn’s live island :(

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I'm coming to realize how vital it is to keep a running list of shit you did in the past few weeks so that you can participate in small talk. It's literally not anything to do with them being interesting at all it's just having Something to say to give people even the barest thing to hold on to. It's so you don't get into the "what have you been up to" "nothing much what about you" "yeah same" trap. Literally just say something.

What have you been up to? Um well it's getting warmer so I've been having to brush my cat every day.

Like no it's not that interesting of a thing to say. But now they can respond to it. They could say, man yeah it really is heating up, I've been trying to think of things to do inside more often. Or, oh you have a cat? What's their name?

Like. It's Something. All you need is Something. And if you're like me and your brain immediately goes blank upon entering small talk then keeping a list will help you remember things to say.

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Meet the teen hacker who put squidward in omori

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divorce themed restaurant menu

dessert: CUSTARDy Battle

yeah that's all i've got so far sorry

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It’s definitely not “do whatever you want bc nobody cares” it’s somewhere between “people don’t care as much as you think they do” and “if you want to truly do what you want you have to not care about how much other people care”

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i gotta get myself back in shape i havent done training in 4 years and it really shows im losing skills

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warioware micrograme where it says “Take the shot!” and makes you aim a crosshair over a pixelated picture from outside your window

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Guys turn on the news a little boy is floating away in a hot air balloon

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*clutches my purse and starts walking a little bit faster*

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Flour today is the dream of every person living in

the Gaza Strip.😭

If you knew that your donation today could save a mother's life or protect a child from hunger... would you hesitate?

The price of flour today is 500 euros per bag, so your donation enables me to buy it and feed our children.

I will donate now without hesitation so that you and your family can live in peace.

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Yeah I actually love toys they go hard

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This is probably my favourite tweet ever hello we are your bank