fletchersht-blog

[fletchersht-blog]

imessage → fletch 🐶

sam: the man dost protest too much. he's in love w u just make out already honestly like ??

sam: you guys are honeslty making it so hard for yourselves like if i was so infatuated/in love with someone like you are with levi i'd go for it because you only get those chances twice or thrice in a lifetime.

sam: yelling in cPS DOESNT COUNT FLETCHER

sam: and it is real denying it is all in ur head

sam: oh my god dont cry fletch if you cry i will and u dont want that do u... god listen i was just whining because im tired and lonely and its been a long few weeks okay dont worry about it i didnt mean it at all kiddo... im not going anywhere ok

sam: ily2 fletch 😘

sam: honestly fletcheroo anyone would like u terrestrial or otherwise bc ur a cherub baby. im so excited for the roboliens (better name?) to come i will worship their every step .

fletcher: i know i'm very bad at social cues + people in general but i'm 96.8% sure he doesn't return my feelings. which is ok! he's not obligated 2 do so but i know he's not interested

fletcher: it sure would be great if he was but he's straight n has affairs w married women and honestly i respect myself too much 2 put myself through something that i already know the outcome to. also if u say twice or thrice that means i still have other opportunities w/ other people so i'm not real worried ?

fletcher: i'm sorRY I JUST FELT BAD :/ IT COUNTS IN MY HEART :/

fletcher: no no no no nO i don't want u to cry.... ok i won't cry in fact i won't cry EVER AGAIN unless we're watching titanic. but aw hey listen pal if ur tired and lonely i'll give u an infinite amount of hugs like i'll just desperately cling to your torso wherever you go and while it may get annoying, u will never feel lonely again :D

fletcher: ily the most!!!

fletcher: hm i hope so. i'm not sure what their standards of living or what their customs are so when they finally beam me up i will have 2 be very respectful! ALSO HECK YES ROBOLIENS IS A MUCH COOLER NAME see this is why you're the smartest ever!! dang!!

[fletchersht-blog]

Oh, yeah, totally! You don’t have to do any farming if you don’t wanna, you can just make cool teas, and y’know, look cool, ‘cause you’re cool as heck, man. Don’t even need to try or anything. Hm, well, that’s true, too. Is it possible to do both? ‘Cause, see, lots of stars have fashion lines ‘n perfumes, so why can’t you have a tea lines? ‘S super original, and eventually, you’ll be hailed as innovative and an entrepreneur, the line will become mainstream and corporate, and I’ll be so stoked to say that I actually knew you before your teas went, like, viral --- but, like, in real life. Okay, guess you’ve got a point. But, on the other hand, I’m thinking about that alternate reality, and it’s actually really wonky, crap. Like, everyone is completely opposite of how they are in this dimension, see, like, there, I’m a brunette, and I’m mean and terrible and most definitely a bully, and, like, straight? Maybe I wasn’t even born in New Mexico, maybe New Hampshire or New Jersey instead, and my parents were still around, and just --- kinda freaky, dude. I wonder if that actually exists. . . I bet it does. Well, hey, we can go to Japan with you, if you really do wanna go there but don’t wanna go alone! Hm, you’re right. Living a double life might not be as cool as it seemed on the show, and I bet you don’t get into as many wacky adventures, either. Oh, well, jeez, you are pretty darn cute, not gonna lie. Definitely makes it even more merrier than it was before.

I mean, I guess. I myself don’t know a thing about farmings so I’ll entrust the awesome farming part to you. I mean, she was just saying that I shouldn’t give up on the whole pop star thing – so I guess she has a point – but I’m really into tea! I guess it’d get boring after a couple months, but it’s cool, in my opinion. Nah, even in an alternate dimension I don’t think you could be a bully. It’s just not possible. If you tried to make fun of someone you’d probably get off topic and accidentally compliment them instead. I guess that works out – but if I like it I might as well stay at your farm. ‘Cause in Japan I’d be all alone and I really, really hate being alone. I feel like being Hannah Montana would be super stressful? And I’m really tying to remove myself from all that, y’know? The more the merrier – or the merrier because I’m just really a merry guy? And really cute, too? Yeah, like a communal farm.

[fletchersht-blog]

imessage → fletch 🐶

sam: are you kidding fletch have you seen how levi looks at u

sam: you two are a match made in punk-rock heaven

sam: you won't try to but i know you will fletch. you guys will fall in love and write song together and duet and i'll be jamming in the background but it'll be in the background and you guys will get really fucking popular and my fans will slip away and it'll be 'sam who'?

sam: and i'll have to leave the band to save face and i'll be the ringo starr of our three-piece beatles and it'll suck and you'll be our paul AND our yoko. fuck.

sam: i'm sorry fletch im just a big baby 😣 forget i said anything god i feel bad

sam: so . robots and aliens ? ready 4 ur overlords?

fletcher: have u heard him talk about it's just a big fat rumor 2 break up the band? and how i'm too passive to deny them? because theyre obviously not true? and i don't have the guts to tell them off? cause its totally nOT REAL AND IM NOT TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM

fletcher: actually im sorry for yelling at u in all caps im just a lil frustrated :/

fletcher: that sounds real nice sammy i wish it were real

fletcher: noooooooo noo no no no don't say that i feel like crying... u keep the band together we have been through way too much w u just to give it all away in some hypothetical situation that doesn't really hold any meaning whatsoever. if u try to leave ever the band is done for good bc it is not the band w/o all 3 of us >:(

fletcher: ur not a big baby. ur a small angelic cherub and i love u ok

fletcher: HECK YES. i wanna meet the reptilians n learn their language and i actually really hope that the aliens/robots/RALIENS honestly like me bc i love them 4 who they are

[fletchersht-blog]

imessage → fletch 🐶

sam: fletch dont worry about it

sam: im not hurt

sam: or jealous. bro im not even interested

sam: just. like. when u guys get together...

sam: dont leave me behind ok 😁

sam: thatd suck i dont want to have to find another band

sam: i guess but like fletch this isnt going away? do you need to talk about this? it wont help to smother it fletch...

fletcher: i don't think we're going to get together but it's ok?

fletcher: oh gosh no i would never ever ever leave u behind no matter what. like i can't have levi without u and vice versa bc i love u both too much and i would cry a lot if suddenly we didn't talk anymore bc u make my life happy

fletcher: no no no u won't ever need to find another band dont even talk like that :((

fletcher: no i'm ok! i don't talk about my issues + even then i talked about it with schuyler like once so i'm good 4 the rest of my life, probably. i mean if YOU wanna talk about it w me then alright i guess aliens and robots can wait

[fletchersht-blog]

imessage → fletch 🐶

sam: fletch calm down

sam: its me or him and

sam: well

sam: it aint me is it?

fletcher: ok :(

fletcher: i mean u are truly an amazing person + friend and in an alternate world i am very much in love w/ u

fletcher: but no don't worry it's not u can we talk about robots now? i mean if u would rather talk about aliens that's cool too

[fletchersht-blog]

imessage → fletch 🐶

sam: so. levi, huh...

fletcher: WHAT

fletcher: how did u even

fletcher: i mean im not..

fletcher: like we're in a band together,

[fletchersht-blog]

We’d be more than fantastic, I bet! Like, I’m not sure if there’s an official association for the farmers of the United States, but if there is, I’m pretty sure we’d be, like, legends among everyone else, who are pretty dang awesome in their own right, regardless. No way, really? That’s too bad, like, aren’t people supposed to follow their dreams? I’d still think that’d apply to people who wanna go into the tea business, which is, like, actually a real cool thing to get into, but I don’t know? I’ll have to ask Schuyler about it. Oh, well, I agree with you. I think in some alternate dimension, I might be a bully, and ‘cause there’s so much guilt transferring to this dimension from the other one, I can’t be very mean to anyone ever --- I mean, it might mess up the space time continuum, but I wouldn’t want to do that in the first place, no matter what. Also, okay, you’ve made kinda a lot of money from being a popstar, right? Well, you could totally spend half the year on the farm, that is, if you’re up for it, I totally get if you aren’t, and then the other half, you could do super rad tea ceremony things in Japan. So you get the best of both worlds, like Hannah Montana. Aw, well, ‘s probably, like, seventeen times more charming if you’re there, ‘cause the more the merrier, right? Honestly, I think that everyone should just live on the farm. We could have, like, the world’s largest farm?

I’m flexible and good with a lot of teas, so that doesn’t sound like that bad of an idea. I think the three of us would make a fantastic little group of farmers. Yeah, I don’t think she’d want to come because she seems somewhat opposed to my whole tea making initiative, which isn’t cool at all. I don’t think you have the capacity to be a bully, kid. No I can’t, not every tea ever. But I can learn, if I quit singing. Oh god no, I’d be an awful CEO – I’d run the business to the ground. Well, I was thinking more of a tea ceremony thing in Japan but now I’m rethinking – American farms. Has a certain charm to it, especially if you’re there. And Sam too, of course.

[fletchersht-blog]

Really? Hey, you should totally live on my farm with me ‘n Sam! You could make teas, literally every single tea in existence, maybe invent some new teas, I don’t know, whatever you’re flexible ‘n good with. Ooh, and I’ll raise baby pigs ‘n tend to the corn, and Sam use his super cool psychic powers, for, like, everything ever, and it would be actually crazy awesome? We can even force Schuyler to come along too, she can maybe, um --- um, I don’t know what she’d do, I just realized, that like, forcing someone to come against their will isn’t really nice? At all? That’s something a bully would do? And heck if I wanna be a bully, wow. Jeez, actually, now that I’m really thinking about it, that’s mildly terrifying. I don’t think that Schuy will come after all, unless she wants to, y’know? Same goes for you, ‘cause, see, I’m not actually very smart when it comes to teas, obviously I gotta leave that to you, but I’m assuming you can make every single tea ever, like, anywhere? Hm, maybe you can’t make teas on a farm, or maybe you don’t even wanna make teas in the first place, maybe you just wanna be a CEO of some big tea company, the behind the scenes guy of all the, um, dirty work ‘n stuff. Actually, um, where do you wanna go in the tea business?

I’ve recently found out that different teas are supposed to be at different temperatures. Like, green tea is meant to be colder than like, herbal teas. Or fruity teas, or something like that. Anyways, if this teen pop sensation thing doesn’t work out for me – which it’s really not, at this point – then I’m going into the tea business.

[fletchersht-blog]

It’s hardly felt like the last couple weeks have happened at all; he’s had dizzying moments where, in a desperate, futile second, he had convinced himself everything was just a dream, badly timed and designed to cause chaos in the usual progression of his day-to-day life, but it would all dissipate the moment Fletcher got back to reality and reminded himself that this was his life now, that at some point, he’d be faced with the consequence of his actions. It was something he dreaded, the main source of his false reassurances that everything was all good, fantastic, and other synonyms for great, as the possibility of being confronted with an accusatory I know you’re in love with Levi presents more of a threat then having been exposed in the first place. He’s paralyzed with the fear of it.

(And then Levi goes and texts him. He’s worried about Fletcher, because Schuyler said something cryptic and guilt evoking, and Fletcher finds it easier to send him a text stating that everything was fine instead of owning up to his very real feelings and telling him, no, I’m not alright, something’s up, and I wish you loved me back because I hate feeling so hopeless and terrified you’ll hate me.)

So Fletcher puts his phone in his lap when he’s finished texting him, eyes flickering incessantly back and forth from its black, lifeless screen to the explosives going on in the television in front of him, stuff he’s not even comprehending fully, and doesn’t even realize Levi staggers in a few minutes later, moping dismally, until he’s thrown himself on top of Fletcher --- and suddenly, it feels like his lungs aren’t getting enough air, and his heart has leaped out of his ribcage and lodged itself in Fletcher’s throat, because he can’t say anything for a moment; he’s too busy forgetting to breathe, his body tense and rigid. It isn’t until he inhales a sharp intake of breath that Fletcher, now squirming and visibly uncomfortable, replies, “Oh, jeez --- well, maybe, um, y’know, Levi, if you just --- uh, get off of me then you can get a hug, like, loads ‘n loads of hugs, so many hugs it’ll be, like, illegal, and I’ll put Star Wars in, and everything’ll be great, promise. I mean you don’t necessarily have to get off of me, I wouldn’t ever wanna tell you what to do, but I can’t do much when you’re, um, in this position. On me.”

Lightheaded. Levi had felt disoriented and thoroughly lightheaded. This was all show from an outsider’s perspective, but to Levi, it for some reason felt like his mind would never adjust back to normal. He had grown so accustomed to a drama-free existence – almost always had he easily repelled any and all disorder; even when he’d been exposed for his relations with Reina had he not felt much chaos. Then Fletcher and Sam. With them, there’d never been any confusion in their friendship with one another – or so Levi thought. After his back-and-forth with Schuyler, he’d come to one conclusion: something was up. Despite his exteriorly goofy and immature character, Levi was no idiot. In fact, he’d spent almost every day for the last three years with his bandmates; they lived together, ate together, and (more than just occasionally) slept together. But how had he not seen this? How had he not observed something off with Fletcher? Was there something wrong at all? How sweet of you to start caring about your friends’ feelings now – and what the hell had Schuyler meant by that? Wandering through the hall to get to Fletcher’s door was an unusually odd task for Levi in this case. It was a typical move for him to camp out in Fletcher’s room, but this felt conflicted with those past times. No, this time Fletcher’s mind was elsewhere, and Levi wasn’t getting a straight answer. Only denial. And that made him curious. He’d become so used to candid conversations around Fletcher, and Schuyler’s attitude versus Fletcher’s refutal engaged Levi’s skepticism. He pushed through the door to see Fletcher on his bed watching television, and Levi stalked over to the edge before allowing himself to fall over onto him. He lay motionless with his face buried into Fletcher’s left arm, his legs still dangling off the side of the bed. “I thought y’said you’d give me a hug,” he mumbled into his skin. “And I thought y’said you’d watch Star Wars with me.” He raised his head and turned it toward the television and then back to Fletcher. “That’s not Star Wars.”

[fletchersht-blog]

Wait, ghosts aren’t real? I thought they were, like, I had --- or I guess I thought I had? --- all of these experiences ‘n stuff, and I was so convinced, and now they’re just . . . not? Okay, I bet you’re smart as all heck, probably smarter than I am, but are you sure? Like, double sure? Triple sure? 

Don’t know why people think the fact that I used to be on a show about ghosts means I’m the person to call when they think their asses are being haunted. I think ghosts not being real kind of throws a wrench into any ghost-hunting knowledge I could have? Maybe call the folks from Paranormal Activity, next time. Way more experience there.

[fletchersht-blog]

Aw, then that really is pretty darn great, Schuyler. I bet everything’ll blow over soon, honestly, and then it’ll all be back to normal and we can all be happy again, probably. Okay, personally, I say it’s all good in the neighborhood, ‘cause it makes me feel like a suburban mom, but the phrases are essentially the same thing, right? I don’t know, but if it makes you feel any better, you’ve got at least one person saying close to the same thing as you! An idiot? Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think he’s an idiot. I think that he’s, um, not processing it, and he’s not picking up on the fact that me refusing to deny anything isn’t a matter of me being passive, it’s just that, like, it’s a reality, a very real reality that’s affecting the band and its success. And I don’t really blame him, either, like, I guess it is kinda scary when something like this happens, so it’s easier just to ignore it until it goes away than confront it. I know I do that a lot, so that’s why I can’t call him an idiot. I mean, I’m not Levi, or a trained psychologist, I didn’t even graduate high school, so I can’t actually know what he’s feeling or thinking ‘n stuff, but --- I just have no clue. I don’t like thinking about it all too much. I guess you have a point, though, and thanks, Schuy. You’re an amazing human person.

I promise, I’m good. It’s all good in the hood. Do people still say that? That’s not important, what’s important is that Levi’s a frickin’ idiot. I know you love him, Fletch, but he’s an idiot. Ignoring a problem and pretending it doesn’t exist doesn’t make it go away, and I think denying that it’s true in the first place is even worse. And I mean, like, who’s he to tell you your feelings aren’t real just ‘cause he’s scared of the possibility that he might have to deal with one of his closest friends having feelings for him? He’s, like… seriousness-phobic. You all kind of are, no offense, but this is different. Laughing something like this off is kind of… well, it’s frickin’ idiotic. I’m glad you’re feeling better, though.

[fletchersht-blog]

text ✉ levi :(

levi: sorry man i dont really want you gone.

levi: in fact where the hell are you cause id sort of kind of love a bro hug rn.

levi: i was talking to schuy and just...like, wanted to know if something's up with you.

levi: sorry for the text spam man but im bugging out here. i know youd tell me if you were upset about something

levi: wouldnt you?

fletcher: oh okay. im glad cause i don't really want me gone either, and i dont want to leave my room (which is where i am)...! hey actually do u want a hug AND wanna watch star wars with me??

fletcher: oh ummmmmmmmm

fletcher: no i'm all good ! idk what schuy said but i'm fine, no need to be sad

fletcher: yeaAAAAAAHHHh for the most part. i mean there's a few certain select things that if i got upset over, i wouldn't tell anyone EVER but that's just cause of me and my paranoia not cause of u. i would trust u with anything else basically, like i'd trust you with the moon probably. but tbh moral of the story is that yes i would tell u if i was upset cause you're my BESTEST FRIEND EVER but im ok so it's all good

[fletchersht-blog]

text ✉ levi :(

levi: remember when i said i wouldn't exile you to a farm?

levi: i take it back!!!

fletcher: wait why? :(

fletcher: did i do something wrong?? i mean i could be on a bus to illinois by tomorrow evening if that's rly what u want but i don't know what i did

fletcher: i mean. u don't have to tell me if u don't want 2 but it would be nice

[fletchersht-blog]

text ✉ levi :(

levi: so what the hell am i missing here?

fletcher: ok

fletcher: i need u to clarify

fletcher: i'm just.... a lil confused?? what are u missing? if you lost an actual item I CAN HELP YOU FIND IT!!

[fletchersht-blog]

Okay --- okay, good, I’m happy about that. Well, you know, if you’re really not fine, you don’t need to, like, say it’s not that bad and compare it to other people’s to try and justify it, y’know? But if you’re honestly alright, I think it’s pretty dang great you’re handling as well as you are, like, I really admire that loads, man. I mean, with me, I feel weird, ‘cause he doesn’t really --- Levi doesn’t talk about it, mostly ‘cause he’s convinced it’s just some an untrue, dumb rumor, which it’s not, and it’s so surreal to go through all of this crap with the public ‘n press, and then there’s him, like --- I don’t know. I was freaking out real bad before, though, but now I’m a little better, but I’m still sensitive ‘n weird, mostly. It does help knowing that no one --- ‘sides you, of course --- knows who, um, specifically I’ve got feelings for, they can either assume it’s Sam or Levi, but they don’t have anything to back up their claim, so.

Yeah, Fletcher, we’re cool. The past couple of weeks have been hard, I get it, I do, so… I get it. I’m not mad. We’re cool. Don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m… alright. There are worse things I could’ve been exposed for, and I know I definitely don’t have it the worst out of all of us, so I’m fine, in comparison. My Twitter mentions have been blowing up, but I’ve mostly just been ignoring them. What about you? Is everything good? I mean, I know you said it’s been a little depressing, but are you, like… I don’t know. Out of the two of us, I think your situation is probably worse.

[fletchersht-blog]

COSMO SURVEY:

NAME: Fletcher Harris! Do you want my middle name, too? It’s Holden, by the way. NICKNAME: Fletch! IF YOU COULD TRADE LIVES WITH SOMEONE FOR A DAY, WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?: I would wanna trade lives with --- hm, I don’t know. A turtle? Like, a turtle that’s lived for lots ‘n lots of years. MY WORST HABIT IS: Talking too much. No one really wants to hear what I have to say a lot of the time, and even though I honestly know that, and I don’t blame them, I physically can’t stop talking. It’s kinda annoying, especially when you really wanna be friends with someone, and you can’t shut up, so they’re really put off by you. I LOVE TO LISTEN TO: Myself talk. Just kidding, no, that’s conceited. THE FEATURE I GET MOST COMPLIMENTS ON ARE MY: Eyes, I think? I AM MOST INSECURE ABOUT: I don’t know? See, that’s a good question, ‘cause I’m not really insecure about my face or body or anything? But I have a lot of insecurity internally, and anxiety, too. I FEEL SEXIEST IN: Church. I’M DYING TO WORK WITH: Best Coast! I SECRETLY GET ANNOYED WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME: Nobody really calls me anything except for my name, so I can’t really say I get secretly annoyed when they call me Fletcher. THE WEIRDEST RUMOR I’VE HEARD ABOUT MYSELF IS: Probably that I’m Jesus reincarnated? Okay, that doesn’t really count as a rumor, it was some people fooling around on Twitter or something, but, like, I was kinda confused. Why am I Jesus? What did I do to deserve that? Also, if I was Jesus, I’m pretty darn sure I’d know, so. Yeah. I’m not Jesus yet.  THE BEST GIFT I’VE EVER GIVEN IS: These are really hard questions! But I think that every gift I’ve given is a pretty cool gift in itself. MY BEST STRESS RELIEVER IS: Reading the Harry Potter books. DESPITE WHAT YOU’VE HEARD, I’VE NEVER DATED: The one person from that one band? I’m blanking on their name, but rest assured, I haven’t dated anyone since I was sixteen.  MY CELEBRITY CRUSH IS: Zac Efron. But don’t tell him that! That would be awful, and awkward, and I could never watch High School Musical again, and I love High School Musical, so please don’t put me through that.  THE SUPERPOWER I’D LIKE MOST TO POSSESS IS: Memory manipulation. Y’know? I’M TOTALLY ADDICTED TO: California’s weather, honestly. Like, okay, I’ve got no beef with New Mexico, but it’s way too hot for me, in my opinion. Southern California literally has such great weather almost every day, it makes me wanna stay outside forever. MY WEIRDEST PHOBIA IS: Shrimp? Like, no disrespect to the little shrimp swimming peacefully along in the ocean, but they scare me, they’re like, tiny and squishy and I’m supposed to put that in my mouth?   PLASTIC SURGERY IS: Completely okay! No one should shame anyone for getting plastic surgery, because it’s their choice, and it’s not nice to crap on other people’s appearances. They’re trying, just like you. THE NAME ON MY FAKE I.D. WAS: Isn’t that illegal? I mean, wait, that wasn’t actually the name on the fake I.D. I never had, but, I’m pretty sure it’s illegal.  I WISH I COULD BE MORE: Quiet. 

[fletchersht-blog]

I bet your aunt ‘n uncle are cool, and I don’t like judging people for what they do, ever, but aren’t they a little scared they’re gonna, like, catch something? I mean, if they were my relatives, I sure would be super terrified that they’d get some mouth disease and die. Wait, they didn’t --- they didn’t actually die from some terrible mouth disease, right? Right? If they’re literally gone, and I went and triggered any painful memories for you ‘cause of my, um, inability to stop myself from talking about touchy subjects, I’m really, really, really sorry, and I could buy you coffee as an apology? If you drink it? I don’t, like, with all due respect to the coffee makers, the smell’s kinda alright, but I think the taste is nasty, so if you’re like me, I could buy you lunch instead? I mean, I’m well aware that me paying for some food won’t fill the void that came with your super duper sad loss, but if there’s any way for me to make up for my inconsiderateness, lemme know, alright?

When I was like 11 I found out my aunt and uncle share a toothbrush and if that is what true love looks like I think I’ll stay single, because fuck that.