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flighty37-blog · 8 years ago

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Managing 2

Summary: Thirteen years have passed. Both Dory and Michael are thirteen, and almost thirteen respectively. Dory’s birthday’s in a couple of months. School is hectic. The joys of raising teens. And then comes one more surprise for the household. How will they handle this? Are they too old?

Now onto the story:

Thirteen years passed so quickly, that it seemed like merely blinking had brought teens into existence at the red brick house with the white picket fence. As usual, with teens, the house was in chaos. “Phil?” Dan called out.

“Yeah?” Phil questioned.

“Where’s my hair straightener?” Dan asked.

“I thought you didn’t straighten your hair anymore?” Phil asked, as he and Dan almost collided in the hallway.

“Only for important meetings, and I’ve got a doozy today, our schedules are overflowing, and we’ve got kids to wake up,” Dan answered.

Phil sniffed the air,

“I think I know where the spare hair straightener ended up.” Phil went up the stairs, and went to where Michael’s room was at.

Michael was just about to turn thirteen in a few weeks and was showing his mischievousness. When Phil entered the room, he found the straightener plugged into the wall, and a Barbie’s face smashed against the hot part.

“Michael Lester-Howell; how many times have we told you no setting things on fire in the house?” Phil yelped out.

“Too many times to count,” Michael grinned up at Phil.

“Unplug that, and give it to your Papa, and give the Barbie back to your sister,” Phil said, as the straightener dropped out of Michael’s hand and landed near his father’s trainer.

“Do Not set another pair of trainers on fire either,” Phil said, as he watched Michael unplug the instrument and hand it to him.

“Thank you,” Phil said, and went back down the stairs.

“That Was A Collector’s Edition BARBIE!!!!” A cry of anger rent the air, and Phil closed his eyes, and opened them, when he met Dan down in the foyer.

“Here you go,” Phil handed Dan, the hair straightener.

“Why’s there a chunk of plastic on here? Can’t I just use one of your straighteners?” Dan asked.

“Well, our son was being a sneaky-snek and he melted one of the Barbies’ faces. According to our daughter, she was a collectors’ item….IDK,” Phil shrugged his shoulders.

“And yeah, what’s mine is yours. Go ahead and use my straightener,” Phil said.

Dory collected action figures, and little figurines along with her various Barbies from around the world. She had a Dutch one, a Spanish one, and a British one. Michael was into the consoles and games part of his genetics makeup. Soon, he’d probably be vlogging and making videos of his own.

A little while later, Dory came down the stairs, a curtain of her strawberry red hair was hiding half her face, and her arms were crossed as she was looking at the ground.

“It was the Barbie I got for Christmas from Grandma Catherine,” Dory pouted, and she looked with tear filled brown eyes up at her two fathers.

“The vintage one?” Dan prompted. Dory nodded, and her shoulders slumped a little.

“C’mon, let’s get some breakfast in you. Your Papa Bear is going to an important meeting at the YouTube office, and we’re driving you to school. Like usual. But I get to be here, and pick you up from school,” Phil outlined the plan for the day, as he took Dory’s shoulders and guided her through to the kitchen.

She allowed herself to be seated, and put both of her elbows on the table. Phil, gently pushed them off. She put her hands in her lap instead.

“Dada!” She huffed. Whenever she was beyond angry that babyish word was uttered.

“I seem to remember a two year old of mine putting her Barbies’ faces near our scented candles. The sprinklers came on, and it was a right mess,” Phil started, and turned his head to face her.

“I know. But I was two! He’s thirteen,” Dory argued. She was the most laid back of them all.

The peacemaker. Michael was a bit hot headed, and yet he was always cracking jokes and things.

“He’s also full of testosterone. Unfortunately Dan’s predictions didn’t come true and he didn’t want to wear sparkly heels or a sparkling tutu,” Phil answered.

“Well at least he wasn’t forced to identify himself,” Dory nodded.

“You’ll still have time to figure yourself out. You can do whatever you want. Within reason and no going to jail,” Phil said, placing a plate in front of his daughter.

Michael sauntered in a few moments later. Dory glanced up and gave a slight glare at her sibling.

“Why did you destroy my priceless Barbie?” Dory bluntly asked, sounding a bit like Dan.

“It was there, and the straightener was there, so I experimented,” Michael answered, as he dug into his own breakfast.

“Stop teasing your sister,” Phil set down a third plate

. “Sorry,” Michael said.

“You’ll have to replace it you know,” Dan came in straightening his tie, and leaning down a little, and over to kiss Phil’s cheek.

“I will,” Michael said.

“What’s the important meeting about Papa Bear?” Dory asked.

Dan made a face, “Adult things.”

“Ewwww,” Phil sympathised.

“Well you’re lucky they only wanted to see me about my content. I dunno why. I don’t fuckin’ swear anymore. Which is a goddamned shame, because I’m pretty damned good at swearing. They’re dumb asses sometimes….Kids, don’t you ever repeat what I just said,” Dan wagged a finger at both of his and Phil’s children.

“Repeat what?” Michael innocently asked.

“I didn’t hear a thing,” Dory softly replied.

They finished their breakfasts, and hurried out the door.

“First things first, stay in school, eat the lunches, make friends, and no bullying,” Dan said as he white knuckled the steering wheel of their car, and tried to navigate London traffic.

“We could’ve taken the Tube,” Michael piped up.

“Do you want to be in a cramped space and having weirdoes try to strike up a conversation with you? And wonder why the seats are so damp? My answer is ‘no you don’t’,” Dan said, answering his own rhetorical question.

“Watch It Asshole! Learn How To Drive You Twat!” Dan yelled, his road rage rearing its ugly head.

“Calm down,” Phil tried to reassure his partner.

“Don’t Tell Me To Fuckin’ Calm Down….” Dan retorted.

“You know we could’ve hitched a ride with Uncle Martyn and Aunt Cornelia,” Michael interrupted again.

“They’re getting their flat ready for the new baby,” Phil said.

“Oh yeah, I can’t believe they adopted,” Dory answered.

“I’m gonna be the best uncle Ever!” Phil looked absolutely beatific, clasping his hands in front of him.

Meantime there was a Michael vs. Dory going on in the back seat.

“Watch it, I’m gonna cream you,” Michael said through gritted teeth, as he moved his game about.

“It’s gonna be my victory!” Dory responded and she gritted her own teeth.

“We’re neck and neck. I’m about to toot you,” Dory said.

“Don’t toot me, I’m nearly up your butt,” Michael responded.

“Please don’t use those words,” Phil pleaded.

“It’s bad enough that we used those words before,” Dan shook his head and honked at another car that was daring to come into their lane.

“I win!” Dory raised her hands in victory.

“Tomorrow you won’t be so lucky little sister,” Michael promised and punched her shoulder, in a playful way.

“Ouch!” Dory punched him back.

“Hey, hey, less being rough,” Phil intervened.

“And we’re at the school. Kiss-kiss, hug-hug. Stay in school. No being bullies, no being a smart-ass. Answer any questions the professors have for you….” Dan spouted as he unlocked the back door of the car, and the two put on their school backpacks.

“So much for my social life,” Michael muttered.

He disliked school. He was always bored.

“I didn’t know you had a social life,” Phil ‘innocently’ said.

“What’s a social life?” Dan asked.

“Bye kids!” Phil made the two give him a hug, and then their parents were gone.

“Shit,” Michael muttered.

“Don’t say that,” Dory went off to find her nerdy-geeky friends. Michael went to find his own group of friends.

Later that afternoon….

As the tweens waited for Phil to pick them up, Dory felt a bit uncomfortable, and sticky. Why? She hopped off the concrete step, and went into some bushes. Michael, who was playing video games, didn’t even see her go.

She felt her trousers, which thank goodness, were black so they didn’t show anything. She drew her fingers towards her face, and gasped. She was bleeding. She was just about to go back to waiting when their car pulled up and Phil honked the horn. She hurried out of the bushes, and slunk into the backseat. She took out her phone and messaged someone:

“Text me back! Emergency! Dory.” She put her phone back in her pocket, and started answering her dad’s questions about school.

“How was it today? Anything exciting happen?” Phil asked.

“Not really,” Michael answered.

“No,” Dory responded, which was unusual because she was usually a lot happier about being in school.

“Are you okay Dory?” Phil asked, a worried frown on his face.

“I’m fine. I think. I….” She looked out the window not finishing her sentence.

“You’re not coming down with anything are you? I’ll take your temperature when we get to our house,” Phil continued.

“Dada,” Dory sighed, and crossed her arms.

“Alright I won’t pry anymore,” Phil promised.

Luckily when they got to the house, Dan had gotten a ride home and was waiting for them, wearing his usual black attire and his hair was in waves again.

“Hi Papa,” both children gave Dan a hug, whilst Phil kissed Dan’s cheek, and hugged him tightly.

“I’ve got to go to my room,” Dory nearly fled the scene.

“What’s up with her?” Dan asked.

Their usually semi-social daughter was not acting like herself. Presently a few rapid knocks and a ringing of their doorbell sounded. Phil went to open it, and came face to face with Cornelia and Louise.

“Where’s Dorothy Cate?” Louise asked. She had always called Dory, Dorothy Cate.

“In her room?” Phil gave his almost sister in law and best friend a confused look after ushering them inside.

“Great! Cornelia? You got the stuff?” Louise asked.

“Right here. We’ll see ourselves through,” Cornelia said.

“Alright….” Phil’s voice trailed off. “I’m not….Are you? What’s going on?” Phil trailed behind the other two most important women in his life.

Nobody would ever replace Catherine.

“It’s personal and I don’t think you’d fully understand it,” Cornelia answered and lovingly pinched Phil’s cheek.

“Ow,” Phil rubbed his cheek still looking confused. The two knocked simultaneously on the door.

“Dorothy Cate?” Louise asked.

“We’re here Sweetie,” Cornelia’s soft voice penetrated the wooden door.

It opened a crack and a brown eye peeked out.

“Aunty Nikki, Louie? Come on inside,” She opened it wider for the two women.

“We’ve got the things, and Louise promised to help me teach you,” Cornelia said, as she shut the door in Phil’s face.

“What is going on?” Phil knocked on the door, and jiggled the knob, but it was locked.

“Come on you can tell me,” Phil pleaded.

Cornelia stuck her head out and gave Phil an epically sisterly glare. “Unless you know anything about the female body, up to and including what we have to go through every month, then I’ll let you in. Until then, go find your partner,” Cornelia pointed towards the lounge.

“Is she? Are you here because she….she’s….Oh….Oh...Ohhhhh!!!!” Phil put two hands to his mouth and then backtracked and went into the lounge.

“Well so much for not telling him,” Louise sighed as the two turned their attention back to Dory.

“Honey….” Cornelia wrapped her niece into a tight hug. Louise went about taking the sheets off the bed.

“Will it hurt any less as I grow up?” Dory asked through tear filled eyes.

“No,” Louise bluntly said.

“Unless you get pregnant, and then it goes away for a while,” Louise amended.

“Like when Darcy was a baby?” Dory gulped.

“Well in a way,” Louise nodded.

“Now you’ll have to do something for us. Can you get to the big bathroom? We’ve added instructions on the lid of the box,” Cornelia handed Dory a bright blue box.

“I’ll try. What are these?” Dory asked, as she inspected the box.

“Tampons,” the ladies said in unison.

“I’ll come with you. I’ll guard the bathroom, so no pesky boy will get near you,” Cornelia said in a decisive voice.

“Besides you’ve got to collect the clothes Corey,” Louise added.

“I’ll need a new outfit?” Dory asked.

“Yes indeed. Pick out your favorite item of clothing to wear and new pants,” Louise instructed.

“And a towel, you’ll need a shower, or a bath if you prefer,” Cornelia said, taking her niece’s hand and kissing the top of her head.

“Come on then. Louise have you got it from here?” Cornelia asked as she led Dory out of the door. “Of course I do. I’ll even make the others toe the line,” Louise promised. “See that you do,” Cornelia’s parting words were almost swallowed by the closing of the door.

They were met by three silent males. All watching hers and Dory’s movements.

“We need to talk Nikki,” Dan said, his mouth in a firm straight line.

“In a moment. I’m a bit busy,” Cornelia nudged Dory inside the bathroom.

Just then Louise bustled through with the linens. “Out of the way boys!” Louise barrelled right through the threesome.

“What’s all the fuss about?” Dan asked.

“Philly didn’t tell you?” Cornelia was guarding the door to the bathroom now, daring any of the males to approach.

“Um Auntie Nikki?” A tentative voice made Cornelia’s head swivel towards the door.

“Yes my Sweet?” Cornelia answered.

“I-Is there supposed to be a string attached to this thing?” the young girl’s voice held a wobble.

“Yes,” Cornelia said.

“String? Attached to what?” Dan said, as Phil nudged him excitedly and still covering his mouth.

“And it’s supposed to be wedged where?!” The horrified voice raised an octave.

“OH MY GOD!” Dan blurted out as he too covered his face.

“I said as much!” Phil answered Dan’s unspoken thought.

“She’s Too Young!” Dan said, and walked away.

“She’s old enough,” Cornelia grumbled.

There were now sounds of a bath being run, and Cornelia sighed with relief when the door opened again, and a tiny hand gave her a bundle of clothes.

“You’ve got your towel, your pants, and your outfit?” Cornelia asked.

“Yes,” the small voice answered again.

“Then get cleaned up and Louise and I’ll see to you properly,”

Cornelia instructed, as she went to the laundry room and met up with Louise. Once in the laundry room she spoke to Louise,

“She’s running a bath now.”

“Good. Poor darling. I know both of those boys got pregnant, but they’re still boys and ignorant of the ways of the period,” Louise shook her head.

“Male understanding goes so far. Even if you’re a drag queen or whatever,” Cornelia said.

“Heaven help us,” Louise looked up to the sky for help.

“Well, let’s make sure the boys are okay and they’re not weeping into ice cream or something,” Cornelia said in a decided voice.

The two women exited the room, and they found themselves in the kitchen. Dan and Phil were tapping away on their keyboards, and Michael was playing the ‘ancient X-Box’.

“There you see? All is right with the world,” Cornelia said.

“Do you two even have any ice cream?” Louise was pawing through the freezer.

The two men simultaneously looked up from what they were doing, and they nodded in unison.

“That’s so creepy,” Louise humphed.

“Something right out of ‘The Shining’,” Cornelia added in.

“Look we’ll exchange ice cream for news,” Dan wheedled.

“And we’ll throw in the spoon and bowl for free,” Phil added.

“That didn’t make any sense,” Dan eyed Phil speculatively.

“Your daughter is going through a tough time right now. She’s experiencing cramps, bloating and bleeding….And if you’ve not caught on by now, I give up!” Louise threw her hands into the air.

“We know. We just wanted to see how far you’d get into your explanation before you’d give up,” Phil grinned cheekily at one of his best girl mates.

“You’re a cheeky one aren’t you?” Cornelia pinched Phil’s cheek again.

Phil rolled his eyes and rubbed at it.

Meantime….

Huddled in a corner of her room, a onesie on, Dory was contemplating life. She was shaken out of her reverie by an unsure knock on the door. Her father.

“Dada?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s me,” Phil answered just as quietly.

She opened the door and Phil came inside. He found her in the Totoro onesie and he hugged her tightly against him.

“How are you feeling?” Phil asked.

“Crummy,” Dory admitted.

He lifted her chin so that she was looking directly at him. To him, she would always be two years old. But the pain in her eyes wasn’t something he could just kiss away this time. As a parent even he had limits.

“What you must be going through, I can’t imagine. But I’m here,” Phil tried.

“I know you are,” Her voice wobbled ever so slightly.

“And when it happens again, we’ll be prepared next time,” Phil promised, and she hugged him this time, squeezing him. Not letting him go, and she started sobbing. Usually Dory wasn’t one for sobbing uncontrollably, but Phil understood.

Even though he didn’t have a biological sister, Cornelia had enlightened him, and there was that one biology class he’d been forced to take.

“You have it much harder than I do; I’ll admit that, but you’re strong. You’ve got both the Howell genes and the Lester genes,” Phil said.

“I know Daddy. I know. But it hurts so bad,” Dory said.

“Oh Sweet Pea...Let’s get some tea into you, and then we’ll order pizza. Any kind. How’s that sound? And I’ll scrounge up some chocolate for you. Or at least some hot cocoa,” Phil said, taking her hand in his, as if she were a toddler again.

“Sounds good. Can we have pineapple on the top? You know half pineapple half pepperoni?” Dory asked.

“Yeah,” Phil said. When they entered the dining room, Dory headed for Dan’s now open arms.

“Papa Bear may we order some pizza?” Dory asked. “Of course we can,” Dan easily replied. She outlined what she wanted and Dan nodded. He went to the laptop and he put his order in.

A week later:

An impromptu dance session was going on in the kitchen. The laptop was blaring McFly’s ‘Love Is Easy’.

“If this is love, then love completes me….” Dan stood at the cooker and he hummed under his breath, as his whole body swayed.

“It’s so simple, feels so natural to me,” Phil sang, as he tossed the spices at Dan who, miraculously, caught them in mid air, and added the spices to the skillet.

“If this is love, love, love, it’s the easiest thing to do,” Phil continued and squeezed Dan’s shoulder.

“Careful Philly, it’s hot!” Dan smiled up at Phil, who neatly dodged the spatula.

“A simple equation, and no complication to leave me confused,” Dan picked up the song. They sang it in bits and pieces, their smiles getting bigger and bigger, and then Phil took Dan’s hand and they danced about the kitchen.

“Today I”m laughin’ the clouds away,” Dan started.

“I hear what the flowers say, and drink every drop of rain,” Phil continued.

“My side of the grass is green,” Dan grinned, and then he took Phil by the waist and pulled him closer. They were starting to kiss, when the teens walked in.

“Get a room!” Michael started.

“Actually we have several rooms. Some of which haven’t been christened in a while,” Dan wryly answered, looking over Phil’s shoulder.

“Stop kissing?” Michael asked.

“Never,” Dan retorted.

“We’ll just let you two get on with it,” Dory pulled Michael out of the kitchen.

“I am so turned on right now,” Dan whispered in Phil’s ear.

“Forget dinner?” Phil asked.

“For us. But we have two responsibilities,” Dan wavered.

“They’re thirteen. They can fend for themselves,” Phil suggested and raised an eyebrow.

“What the hell…” Dan turned off the cooker and yelled down the hall,

“FEND FOR YOURSELVES!!!! And Do Not Come Find Me Or Your Dad, At Least Not For A While!”

“C’mon Daniel,” Phil dragged Dan to their master bedroom.

“After all, I am a bottom,” Dan said.

“No you’re not, that’s something you fabricated one night, and you were slightly intoxicated,” Phil replied, as he opened the door, and pulled Dan inside.

“God, I’ve missed you,” Dan said.

“I’ve been sleeping with you for fifteen years, you nutter,” Phil said, as they started kissing again.

“Shut Up!” Dan said, and they started to take each others’ clothes off, and then Dan guided Phil to their bed, as they tripped over air, they refused to stop their makeout session.

“You’re so hot!” Phil breathed.

“Did I say you could talk?” Dan asked.

“Nope,” Phil acknowledged.

“Then do as you’re told for once!” Dan was mock exasperated.

“Yes your majesty,” Phil grinned up at him. They started kissing with fervor.

Meantime in Dory’s room:

“They’re so gross!” Michael was cross legged on the ground face in his palm, arm on his leg.

“It shows they’ve got a healthy relationship,” Dory said, as she turned on her laptop and perused Facebook. Adrian, who had come out of hiding and had a few followers of his own was almost always online. Much to Dan’s chagrin, for Dan was very protective of his side of the family.

Phil’s side didn’t mind.

In fact, Martyn and Cornelia were thrilled to have followers as well. Even, nowadays, Catherine shared recipes on her Facebook account. Dory went to Skype.

Adrian was on, and she rang him via video. “Hey Squirts,” Adrian waved at the camera.

“Hey Uncle Adrian,” Dory greeted.

“Hi Uncle Adrian,” Michael also greeted.

“So what are you two up to?” Adrian asked, as he took a sip of water.

“Nothing much. We’re in sort of lock down,” Michael said.

“What? Why?” Adrian asked.

“Our dads….” Dory’s voice trailed off.

“Oh. Ugh! I don’t want that image in my head!” Adrian made a disgusted face.

“Without them there’d be no us,” Dory smiled.

“That’s just not something I want to think about my brother doing,” Adrian wrinkled his nose some more.

“Same,” Michael nodded.

“So besides escaping your parents, what’s been going on?” Adrian asked, as he leaned forward to better conversate with his niece and nephew.

“Oh nothing much. Just can’t wait until I’m old enough to leave,” Michael shrugged.

“He’s being modest! Dad and Papa put him in a gifted class. He’s less bored there,” Dory chimed in.

“Dorothy!” Michael said, and blushed.

“Well if you aren’t going to tell him I am,” Dory crossed her arms, and looked like Phil for just a moment.

“She’s told you,” Adrian laughed.

“She tells me off all the time,” Michael grumped.

Dory rolled her eyes.

She was usually the more talkative of the two.

Most of the time. Michael was more withdrawn, he would talk, and he wouldn’t totally abandon his friends and make them talk. He was more of the silent observant type until he got to know a person, and then he would talk. A bit.

“I just can’t believe at their age they’re still ‘going at it’,” Michael said. “When it’s true love, it can’t be stopped,” Adrian shrugged.

“Like you and Matilda?” Dory asked. “Exactly! She’s a great woman, and frankly, I’d most probably be lost without her,” Adrian shrugged. The trio talked for a long while.

A few weeks later:

“BLURGH!” Dan was in the bathroom again.

“There’s nothing left to sick up,” Phil was at his side, and he caught a side glare from Dan.

“Don’t you think I know that by now? I’ve been dry heaving for hours. This is ridiculous,” Dan huffed, and back down his head went.

“If you’d just take another test, I’m pretty sure it’d be solved,” Phil wheedled.

“If you don’t want a smack round the head, I suggest you finish whatever you’re doing and leave. And wake up Dory and Michael,” Dan said.

“Besides it’s just the flu,” he tried to convince himself.

“It’s not the flu,” Phil said, though he was gone to check on the kids.

He roused them, and went back to his and Dan’s adjoining bathroom.

“So did you take it yet? I left it on the counter,” Phil was leaned up against the door front, his feet crossed and his arms crossed, looking quite sternly at his life partner.

Dan was sat on top of the toilet’s seat. “Yes,” Dan softly answered.

“What? I can’t hear you,” Phil smiled.

“I said yes,” Dan said, and he looked up with a troubled expression.

“And?” Phil dodged and caught the test that Dan grumpily threw at him. He gave a half-smile and looked back at Dan.

“Do you want to keep it?” Phil asked. Dan bit his lip, and looked back down at his hands.

“We’ve got two teens,” Dan started.

“Yeah and they’re old enough to help us out,” Phil argued for keeping the baby.

“But two teens are already eating us out of house and home,” Dan started again.

“They don’t eat that much,” Phil argued again.

“They eat enough,” Dan said. “Daniel, and I’m only gonna call you this once, Sweetheart, remember we’ve got money. We’ve invested. We’ve been clever with our savings. We’re not running out. We can afford three kids. If you want to that is. She, er I mean, it, this tiny person will be loved by all. Not just by me, but I’m pretty sure by everyone,” Phil determinedly said.

“Spoiled rotten most likely,” Dan was softening.

“It’s been ages since we’ve had a little one about the house, and perk, it’ll only be one this time. Not two,” Phil pointed out.

“That’ll be nice. Two were just…” Dan heaved a sigh, which retracted his stomach and he gasped for air.

Phil steadied him and guided him to the bedroom.

“I’ll be the most supportive partner I can be,” Phil said.

“I know you will. It’s just…” Dan put on his thinking face.

“It’s been a long while, possibly since you were twenty-five, that you’ve had an existential crisis; I wouldn’t blame you if one happened now. Take all the time you need, I’ll talk to Doctor Taran and make an appointment,” Phil outlined, and kissed Dan’s temple.

“Okay,” Dan whispered.

“It won’t be so bad,” Phil said, as he pulled out his mobile.

“Having kids is actually sort of rewarding in the long run,” Dan amended.

”They’re not eighteen yet,” Phil smiled.

“That’s true. When they do turn eighteen we’ll throw a big party,” Dan said.

“After naptime,” Phil answered.

“Right, because of the little one,” Dan put a protective hand over his stomach.

Phil followed suit, and kissed his significant other’s hand.

“It’ll be fine. You should know by now that I won’t leave you in the lurch. You’re stuck with me,” Phil said, as Dan gave him a grateful smile.

He arranged for an ‘emergency sonogram’, and found his way back to Dan.

“How d’you feel now?” Phil asked.

“A bit better I reckon,” Dan answered and slid closer next to Phil. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan, and put his head on the crook of Dan’s neck, between where the shoulder blade met the head.

“It’ll be fine,” Phil reassured again.

“How are we gonna tell Dory and Michael?” Dan asked.

“The same way we do with every big event that happens in our lives. An open and frank family meeting,” Phil answered.

“Then we’d better do it right now, before I need to go back into that room adjoining ours, and make a right mess of things,” Dan said.

“Wot; now?” Phil asked, as his Northern accent escaped.

“Yeah. Now,” Dan gave him raised eyebrows, which meant he meant business.

“Alright then,” Phil then went to find the kids. Dan was pacing, thinking about the supposed future outcome. They were almost in their forties, and by the time the kid reached eighteen, they’d be fifty-eight, and fifty-four respectively.

Once the teens arrived Dan and Phil motioned for the two to sit. “Make yourselves comfortable,” Dan started and paced about the room.

“We have some big news,” Dan continued.

“This is it,” Michael mumbled.

“You’re getting a divorce?” Dory put her hands over her mouth.

“We’re not even legally married,” Dan stopped his pacing.

“And besides I’d kick his butt if he tried to leave me,” Phil put in, a smirk on his face.

“It’s not official, and not yet confirmed….But, we think there’s going to be another addition to the household,” Dan started.

“I think it’ll be great,” Phil was all smiles.

“Says the one who’s not carrying this time,” Dan huffed at him.

“But we won’t know until tomorrow, with Doctor Taran,” Phil added.

“Great talk. Go do whatever it was you were doing before you got called in here,” Dan shooed them out.

“If you have any questions….” Phil started, but the two were already out the door.

“I have a valid question, how the hell did we end up getting pregnant not once but three times?” Dan raised an ironic hand.

“Lucky,” Phil said.

“I don’t feel lucky. I feel like the universe’s out to get me,” Dan said. “It’s out to get us both,” Phil affirmed. “Moreso me than you,” Dan said.

The Next Day...Sonogram Time:

“You know the drill, get up onto the table,” Doctor Taran directed with her pencil in one hand and her clipboard in the other. Besides having grown older by thirteen years, she was still the same. Same sensible bun, same scrubs.

She was just used to the men before her, by now.

“So what’s the gender this time?” She looked at Phil for confirmation.

“I’m not telling,” Phil held up his hands in a self defence motion.

“Alright then, Daniel, lift up your shirt,” Doctor Taran directed. Dan sighed, rolled his eyes and did as he was told.

“Wow! Whatever sort of power you wield, I want it,” Phil cracked.

“Sit down beside him you nutter,” Doctor Taran rolled her eyes.

“She’s told you,” Dan put in.

“Shut it you,” Doctor Taran spread the goop, and then the screen came to life.

“Oh there we go. You were right,” Doctor Taran nodded and jotted something down on her clipboard.

“Third time’s the charm?” Phil guessed.

“What? You’re saying our older two aren’t valid human beings?” Dan groused.

“Hey Mr. Grumpy, I didn’t say anything of the kind,” Phil countered.

“Oh look at you. Always with the domestic arguments,” Doctor Taran nodded.

“Look at her! Even as a blob she’s a cutie,” Phil breathed out, as he put both of his hands to his mouth, palms open.

“Spoilers!!” Dan complained.

“I’m sorry! I have this inane gift that I automatically know the genders. It’s not my fault!” Phil answered.

“It is. You know how I am about spoilers. I thought for once that I could be surprised,” Dan frowned.

“I mean, I said ‘she’, I was probably assigning genders again. That was my fault,” Phil backtracked.

“That’s a bit better,” Dan acquiesced, and they kissed quickly.

“You two….Daniel wipe yourself off, and get the heck out of my office. Go on. Shoo!” Doctor Taran broke up their little tiny argument.

The guys did as they were told. They took the Tube back home, and once at their place, they decided to have another family meeting.

In the Family Meeting and afterwards:

“Yes we’re having another kid. But you’re not going to know the gender, your dad knows; but he’s sworn to secrecy,” Dan said, and looked Phil up and down with squinted eyes, and a ‘V’ going from his eyes to Phil and back again.

“My lips are sealed. No amount of torture will ever get me to reveal it. Not even tickling!” Phil declared.

“Another kid. That’s just great, that’s all we need around here,” Michael murmured, his arms crossed.

“I think it’ll be nice. I’ll be an older sister. I can mold their mind, and teach them the ways of being a younger sibling,” Dory breathed out. Phil clapped her on the back.

“Parents’ pet,” Michael said.

“Well now that that’s out of the way…. You two go and do your homework,” Phil prompted.

“Let your papa rest,” Phil continued. Dan was looking as pale as Phil with a hint of green around the edges.

“I do feel a bit funny,” Dan put a hand to his mouth.

“Alright to the bathroom you go,” Phil said, as the kids left the room.

Dan just waved him off as he disappeared back to the porcelain shrine. Phil followed and knelt beside him.

“I’d pull back your hair, but that’s a futile effort…” Phil decided to sit on the bathtub instead, becoming moral support. Dan raised a certain finger in the air, aimed at his significant other.

“Thank you,” Phil said in an unfazed tone.

“Asshole,” Dan muttered, as he finally stood and wiped his mouth off with a piece of toilet roll.

He also proceeded to brush his teeth, and popped in a mint.

“Ugh! How could you stand the morning sickness with Dory? I feel woozy, and my stomach is swirling about….” Dan managed to make it back to the bed, and was lying on his side.

“I dealt with it, and had to remind myself who I was carrying. Some days I had to remind myself that I loved her very much,” Phil responded, lying on his own side and facing Dan; his hands under one cheek, and smiling encouragingly at him.

“I know about morning sickness. So I’ll help you in any way I can,” Phil said.

Two months later:

“Two and a half months, and I’m still not showing. Where’s my pudge?” Dan poked at his stomach.

“Some babies develop differently. Don’t poke too much, you’ll give yourself a stomachache,” Phil said, handing Dan some ginger ale.

“Thanks,” Dan sipped it from a straw.

“Want some savoury biscuits?” Phil asked.

“D’you know that in America they’re called ‘crackers’?” Dan bit off a corner.

“I did not know that,” Phil looked thoughtful.

“Well now you do. Are we doing solo videos this week or together ones?” Dan asked, his hands poised above the keyboard, he was in his usual crease, hunched over the laptop ever so slightly. So what if everything was holograms now? Sometimes laptops were the best pieces of equipment.

Try and drag him out of the early to later ‘00s so quickly. Let him have his habits.

“Pretty soon you’ll have something to rest your ancient laptop on. Just be thankful that we haven’t announced our newest bundle of joy yet,” Phil said.

“Then there’d be questions, haters, and people who are so creepy that you just want to crawl under the covers and hide,” Dan mused again, as he started typing.

“Solo ones, but then at the end of the week, we’ll collaborate as usual. They want to see Dory and Michael,” Phil nodded, as he leaned over and kissed Dan’s cheek.

“Alright then. Who’s first? We’ve still got the one recording camera. Why don’t we just splurge for a new one?” Dan asked.

“Because they’re becoming rare and expensive,” Phil was all about being frugal. Eight pounds was too much for him to spend, while Dan had sort of expensive tastes.

Top Man was his favorite online store.

“It’s Thursday. I said I’d do one on Sunday, but Dory had her dance recital,” Phil said.

“And of course Michael is in drama class. Do you have a feeling they’re pretty much the carbon copies of us when we were younger?” Dan asked.

“In Michael? Yeah. But I envy Dory’s grace when she dances. I look like a hunchback when I dance, and I make weird faces,” Phil sighed and shrugged.

“Let’s just get the announcement out of the way,” Dan suggested.

“Look who’s the non-procrastinator now,” Phil smiled indulgently at Dan.

“Yeah-yeah,” Dan waved him off.

“Want to do it now?” Phil asked.

“Let’s wait a couple of weeks. I want to see if the baby will get longer. I want to wait until I’m showing just a bit,” Dan decided.

“Alright whatever you want. I’m going to go record. Need any snacks whilst I’m up?” Phil asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“I’ve got savories, I’ve got ginger ale. I’m fine. Leave the bottle out. I’ll probably pour some more into the glass,” Dan answered.

“Okay,” Phil nodded and he went out of the room. They still did private videos. Except they stayed out of their room until the other was finished. Even Michael and Dory knew not to interrupt. “Hey Guys!” Phil waved excitedly at the camera.

Two and a half weeks later:

“There we go, it’s a tiny pocket….I feel feet….OMG! I’m going to cry,” Dan said, and wiped a tear from his eye.

“Well it looks as if they’re finally longer. Ready for the big A?” Phil asked.

“Big A? Are you talking about my ass?” Dan looked behind him as far as he could.

“The big Announcement,” Phil said in an excited tone, he was practically jumping up and down on the sofa cushion.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Dan sighed.

“Here we go….” Phil turned on YouNow. They both took a deep breath.

“Hey Guys! Hello,” Dan and Phil said at the same time.

“If you haven’t read the title, then you’ll be pleased to know we have….Drum roll please….Good News!” Phil said, as he put his fists to his mouth smiling broadly.

“Michael and Dory already know,” Dan answered.

“The reason they’re not here is because they’re still in school,” Phil answered a question.

“So we’ve got baby number three on the way,” Dan plunged right in.

“Way to take the surprise right out of it. I was going to tease them for a bit,” Phil pouted.

“We can do that for the next surprise, tease the hell out of them,” Dan answered, patting Phil’s knee.

“Phil’s the only one who knows the gender, but he’s under strict orders not to give it up. On Pain of Death!” Dan glared over at Phil, who held up his hands in a surrender gesture.

“My lips are sealed. Until sh...the baby’s born!” Phil squeaked out.

Dan reached over and slapped his shoulder. Hard. “I told you to shut up,” Dan said in a semi-joking way.

“Alright. Alright. Moving on. Top fan is….” Phil read the top fans off. “You win a gold sticker. You win a puppy….You win mismatched socks….” Phil was giving out weird gifts again.

“An octopus,” Dan decided.

“Oh good one!” Phil smiled.

An hour later…. “Well guys we have to feed Michael and Dory. See you later!” Dan said.

“Bye Guys!” Phil said, covering the camera with his hands. They signed out.

“Oh god….I’m breathless….Whew!” Dan breathed out.

“Too much? I knew we shouldn’t have stressed you out,” Phil worried.

“I’m okay Phil. It’s just nerve wracking as usual, but adding the pregnancy into the mix makes it doubly hard,” Dan tried to sound reassuring.

“Anyway we’ve done it, you rest up. I’ll go putter for a bit,” Phil decided.

“Okay,” Dan went to the bedroom.

That’s how Phil knew he wasn’t feeling well when he was submissive.

“I hope the little one doesn’t come too early. We don’t need stress right now,” Phil said under his breath. He made dinner, fed Michael and Dory, and then he brought in a plate for Dan.

A few weeks later another doctor’s appointment:

“Well the baby’s developing normally. Heartbeat’s regular, and any new developments?” Doctor Taran looked down at her clipboard, seeming to tick off boxes.

“I’ve got massive morning sickness. It’s moved to the afternoon,” Dan frowned.

“That’s normal,” Doctor Taran nodded.

“I had it last time, now it’s his turn,” Phil nearly gloated.

“Don’t gloat,” Doctor Taran and Dan said at the same time.

“Alright, things are good to go,” Doctor Taran decided, and handed Dan some tissues.

“Go on then. Get out of my sight,” Doctor Taran shooed them out.

“Any hint on gender?” Doctor Taran whispered to Phil. Phil rolled his eyes.

“I’ll hit him if he tells,” Dan said.

“Why do you always seem to be able to hear my private convos with Doctor Taran?” Phil cheekily asked.

“Because I’m a nosey twit,” Dan replied, as he pulled on his ‘Naruto’ jacket. Phil rolled his eyes and they drove home.

Third month:

“If I puke any more, I’ll go insane,” Dan said.

“I’m worried. You should be over it by now,” Phil said.

“Well, you’re the one who said that, ‘babies develop differently’. What if I’m carrying the devil’s spawn and it’s all your fault?” Dan questioned. He questioned everything in life.

“Why would the devil impregnate you? You’re a lowly YouTuber,” Phil tried to lighten the mood, and ended up ducking the shower gel that flew at his head.

“I’m pretty sure you made a midnight deal with Satan,” Dan said.

“That was ages ago!” Phil protested, as he put the shower gel out of reach.

“Damn you and your rituals,” Dan said, as he made his way to the sink and brushed his teeth.

“Sorry, I’ve learnt my lesson,” Phil said.

“I hope to whatever, that I’m over this soon. Have you made any headway on the nursery? We’re keeping it yellow, but I want it changed up a bit. And it needs to be repainted,” Dan outlined his plan for the space.

“I’ll repaint it later this week, you can supervise,” Phil promised.

“I like supervising. Do we need to build the wardrobe?” Dan asked.

“No, I’m not letting you near a wardrobe, you’d probably, sick up something on it,” Phil said.

Dan gave him a hard glare. “I’m not a delicate fainting maiden,” Dan said, quoting something from one of their gaming videos.

“I didn’t say you were. I just don’t think you should move about too much until you’re past the morning sickness stage. If you ever get past it. Some people never get past that stag….” He was interrupted by a hand over his mouth.

“Yeah. Thank you, I’m pretty sure I’ll get past it at some point,” Dan said, as Phil mumbled against his hand.

Dan removed the hand, and they resumed their ideas on the space.

“You know Doctor Taran says there’s a procedure that will stop us from having kids,” Phil ventured.

“I know. But it’s risky,” Dan said.

“She’s performed it before,” Phil said.

“As much as I trust her, and I do trust her….I don’t know,” Dan said.

“Because maybe this is the end, and maybe our bodies will just know and shut ‘it’ off?” Phil ventured again.

“Let me think about it. You know I’ll have to be cut open again. Although the scars are fabulous, and worth it, I just don’t want to have to keep getting cut open. But for now, let us get through this….” Dan gestured.

Month 4:

“Finally I can eat toast again,” Dan had found a nice recipe for French Toast, and though Phil didn’t really like the egg mixture, he had added the cinnamon into it for a ‘dash of flavour’, he had to admit that french toast wasn’t so bad.

“Syrup or that fancy sugar, not the granulated kind but the other kind,” Dan said, as he finished.

“Yeah, it’s a filling breakfast,” Phil conceded.

“Isn’t though? The berries top it off just so,” Dan said.

“Definitely,” Phil replied. The teens weren’t awake just yet, as it was Saturday and they were allowed to sleep in.

“You know we haven’t played Sims-4 in a while,” Phil commented.

“Right, and since Dil’s had the baby, its mystical powers have been unequalled,” Dan answered.

“Well Evan and Dab bonded over it,” Phil said.

“And I think it gave them a wealth of knowledge,” Dan said.

“Well Dab stopped needing to do homework. Glad you convinced me to keep it,” Phil smiled.

“Like you convinced me with this one?” Dan indicated with an eyebrow raise.

“I did no such thing,” Phil looked mock offended.

“Anyway, to answer your weird train of thought, we’ll play Sims4,” Dan said. “Yay,” Phil grinned.

Video wrapped and in the midst of being edited:

“Looking back on the saga of Dil, Tabs, Dab, and the Pancakes, this has been a pretty fun series.

“Nobody’s died, alien abductions have been a rare occurrence. Dil’s still a bit of a flop sometimes,” Phil nodded.

“And we’re still getting enjoyment out of being, ‘masters of a universe,” Dan replied.

“I mean raising kids is like raising Sims,” Phil nodded.

“Said nobody ever,” Dan retorted.

“Think about it for a minute, follow my train of thought. They have their own languages, their own way to dress, they’re sentient yes, but we have to guide them through their lives. And when they’re old enough, we send them off to University and hope for the best, but they always come back home. At least for a visit. And they fall in love, they get married, and the cycle of life continues,” Phil started.

“You thought really long and hard about this statement didn’t you?” Dan raised an eyebrow at Phil.

“I guess so. But that’s just how my brain works,” Phil lightly responded.

“You’ve got a strange mind my friend,” Dan said.

“In a way so do you,” Phil was unapologetic.

“Being around you has made me extra weird,” Dan shrugged.

“And?” Phil asked.

“There’s nothing to add,” Dan said. Phil pursed his lips and shook his head, then it was fully silent, as they slow kissed each other, and held onto each other. Then the teens showed up from school….

Month 5:

“Oof!” Dan righted himself as he hobbled towards the adjoining bathroom.

“Baby, you’d better be worth it,” Dan muttered to himself.

“This kicking me in the bladder isn’t gonna go any easier on me for the next four months is it?” Dan asked, as he did what he was supposed to do, and his stomach started rumbling.

“Great, more bladder hockey, and now you want me to feed you? I reckon,” Dan mumbled.

He sauntered out into the kitchen.

“Fuck,” Dan hissed under his breath.

It was only nine in the morning. Not even Phil was awake this early. Usually they met in the kitchen around midday, except when it was a school day. Which it was not.

“It’s not even a school day,” Dan sighed, but he adhered to the rumblings and went in for some cereal.

“I actually have some cereal?” Dan peered into the box.

“I made me some toast and orange marmalade. I think. I dreamt I made it. I might’ve made it earlier then dreamt that I made it again. I don’t know, I wasn’t nearly awake this morning,” Phil tripped into the kitchen and poured some coffee into his mug.

“What time?” Dan asked, as he swallowed another spoonful of cereal.

“I think it was four,” Phil replied. “Huh. Okay. Your brain’s weird,” Dan said. “Just like the rest of me,” Phil conceded. Dan finished his bowl, and he padded to the lounge. Time for some social media.

Month six:

“Time is...Ticking away, tick tick ticking away….” Dan hummed under his breath; he was resting his laptop on his protruding stomach and trying to read the screen.

“If this is love love love,” another voice said from beside him.

“That’s not even the same song,” Dan huffed out.

“I think it goes well,” Phil said, and put a hand on Dan’s stomach.

“Don’t! You’ll upset it,” Dan said.

“What’ll I upset? The baby or the laptop?” His boyfriend looked genuinely confused.

“Yes,” Dan said.

“Oh,” Phil put his hand on Dan’s knee.

“Thank you, important business,” Dan said, and settled against the mountain of pillows behind him.

“Stomach’s rumbling. What time is it?” Dan looked at his laptop’s screen again.

“One forty-five,” he nodded.

“Food time?” Phil was sat up again.

“Food time,” Dan answered.

“I’ll get one of the slaves….er one of the kids to whip something up,” Phil said.

“Or ask them,” Dan suggested

. “Alright then,” Phil said, and exited the room. In an hour and a half, Dan was feasting on sandwiches, crisps, and some Ribena, and water.

“Gotta stay hydrated,” Three voices said as they presented him with the sumptuous array of food. Dan looked at his little family.

Times like these, he was actually happy to have them all milling about. He was happy that Michael and Dory were becoming well adjusted adults, and curious about his and Phil’s ‘family business’. Michael especially seemed keen on learning about editing and making videos. Dory seemed to be a more of the ‘behind the scenes’ person, but was also learning how to make quality video content and editing whenever necessary.

“Thanks,” Dan addressed the family and took a few bites.

They left him to it. He opened his laptop and perused the media.

“We’re lucky,” Dan said more to himself and the duvet then to anything outside of those perimeters.

“Yeah we are pretty lucky,” the bed dipped as Phil sat on the foot of it.

“How’d you hear me?” Dan asked.

“I’m stealthy. Like a ninja,” Phil said.

“Oh yeah. Totally like a ninja, you surprise your enemies, and scare the hell out of your ‘nearly-husband’ and children,” Dan retorted.

“This one’s going to be our last,” Dan continued in a decisive tone.

“Does that mean surgery for the both of us? Doctor Taran said it was a risky procedure,” Phil looked worried behind his glasses.

He had forgotten to get more contacts, plus he was due for an eye exam anyway. So he just whacked on his glasses. To be honest he looked hell’a cute in his glasses. Dan licked his lips and pushed the laptop slightly out of the way.

“We haven’t had proper sex in a while, and I’m feeling, well I’ve got that feeling,” Dan tried to sound sensual and ended up sounding like a Grade A flop.

“Hormones,” Phil tried to look annoyed as he looked up at the ceiling.

“Damn right. Take your glasses off, lock the door, and let’s make the bed all messy….I wanna do it….Sims style,” Dan answered.

“If I take my glasses off first, I’ll be too blind to see the lock on the door,” Phil said, but he had gotten off the bed, and locked it.

“No interruptions,” Phil said.

“Good. Get your ass over here,” Dan had deposited the laptop a safe distance away.

Phil fell on top of Dan and the two feverishly made out, the clothes mysteriously disappeared, and soon, the duvet was moved down all the way to the foot of the bed. Phil had put his glasses on top of the laptop, so they wouldn’t get crushed.

“God I love you,” Dan breathed out.

“I love you too,” Phil wrapped his arms around Dan’s body, admiring the bump.

“You’re just the right amount,” Dan breathed out again.

“Whatever that means….” Phil’s voice trailed off.

“Shut up,” Dan ordered. And so it happened….

Afterwards….

Both were wrapped in a tight embrace, quite moist, but neither were complaining about it.

Though they couldn’t get too close, but it was fine. They had explored every inch of their bodies. Each admiring every scar, every new bruise, every cut that had happened. The romance was still certainly alive, underneath the bantering, the pseudo arguing, and the few times they’d actually gotten angry or tired of each other. As it happened, even ‘long dating’ couples needed their space.

But it was a rare occurrence for them. They barely argued, and when they did it wasn’t for very long. They’d always end up Skyping, or Facetiming. They were never far apart. Had never been. Ever since Dan had confessed, and Phil had been shocked, but he too had admitted to it. They had made sure that they were ready. They hadn’t rushed into it.

Being best friends first, they’d had to plan everything out. And it’d worked.

“Twenty-one years, you’d think we’d get tired of having this,” Phil muttered.

“You’d think so, but every time we do this, I find something new and exciting,” Dan answered, kissing the little dip in Phil’s neck.

Phil gave him a half smile and pushed Dan’s curls back.

“Same,” Phil simply answered.

“Stop playing with the hair, it’s too moist,” Dan shook his head, and a few beads of moisture landed on Phil’s neck. Phil made a face and took a tissue from the bedside table and wiped his neck off.

“Sorry,” Dan said, and kissed Phil’s nape.

Phil returned the favour, nibbling on Dan’s earlobe. They went back to just making out.

The baby decided at this moment to give a gentle kick, when they had no distance between them.

“Ohhh, the baby wants us to acknowledge its presence,” Phil said, and put a soft hand on Dan’s stomach.

“Jealous little twat,” Dan smiled, and also looked at his stomach, slowly they made eye contact with each other.

“Spoiled is the word I think you’re looking for,” Phil corrected.

“And loved. Exceptionally loved. I have a feeling that Dory and Michael will be the surrogate parents, especially Dory, I have a feeling she’ll take on the ‘mum’ role. I mean I won’t assign her to it. I don’t know. I just….Have this feeling. You know?” Dan said.

“I always know what you’re saying, or trying to say,” Phil nodded, and smiled, as they both looked deeply into each other’s eyes.

Month 7:

“UGH!” Dan flopped his head back onto the pillows mounted behind his back and head. He gritted his teeth. “I can’t Move!” He pushed himself up onto his elbows and tried to maneuver a bit.

“Heh, hah, eee….Nope! Phil?” Dan reached over and shook Phil’s shoulder.

“What is it?” Phil asked.

“I need to move, and I can’t,” Dan said.

“Why do you want to move?” Phil sleepily asked.

“Because I need to wee,” Dan said, and punched Phil’s shoulder to wake him up some more.

“Oh,” Phil stood and then went to Dan’s side of the of the bed and held out his hand, which Dan took and they headed to the loo.

“How many more months? Sixteen?” Dan groused.

“Two,” Phil yawned.

“Only two? I feel like I’ve been pregnant for twelve years,” Dan sighed, and then he looked at his joggers and back at Phil.

“Well?” Dan said.

“Oh! I’m sorry,” Phil helped Dan remove his trousers.

“Thank you,” Dan said, and Phil turned his back, and waited.

A few hours later….

“SHIT! FUCK! DAMN! PHIIILLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Dan called out.

“WHAT?! I’m in the same room as you. Maybe I should get you a bell to ring,” Phil mused, as he walked over to Dan’s side of the bed.

“A bell? You’d really let me ring a bell?” Dan looked pleased with the prospect.

“Hell no,” Phil wrinkled his nose.

“Fine, I need to wee again, and then you can help me into my Browsing Position,” Dan emphasised the last two words.

“Of course ‘Winnie’,” Phil said, and they went towards the loo again.

“One day I won’t be so fat,” Dan said.

“You’re not fat. You’re carrying a kid. There’s a big difference,” Phil said, and rubbed Dan’s shoulder.

“Help me?” Dan asked, and he sounded plaintive, almost younger.

“You’re slipping back into your eighteen year old voice.

“Well I’m sorry, it’s been thirteen and a half years since I was pregnant. It’s hard,” Dan muttered.

“I know, and it’s hard seeing you like this. But trust me, the end result is well worth it,” Phil tried to soothe.

“Shut up,” Dan sighed.

“Sorry Babe,” Phil said, and turned his back for Dan to have privacy.

“Shit, I can’t even stand,” Dan squatted.

“Ew,” Phil said. “No comments from the peanut gallery,” Dan ordered.

“Sorry,” Phil sighed, and he zipped his lips. Finally they climbed back into bed.

Then….

“We’re Late! Open Up!” There was frantic knocking on the door.

“Shit!” Dan yelped.

“OMG!” Phil covered his mouth with his palms. “Shoot, shoot, shoot, I’m coming, I’m comin….OUCH!” Phil tripped over trying to put on his jeans.

“Are you okay?!” Dan said.

“I’m fine….I’m almost ready!” Phil answered Dan’s question, and tried to appease the two teens outside their door.

“Okay, get me the keys and we’re off,” Phil said to the door again.

He leaned over and kissed Dan, and then the baby bump.

“I’ll be back in a bit!” Phil called over his shoulder and then he was gone. Dan sighed and reached for the laptop that was always in reach.

He opened it up to Word, and typed: “I Can Not Wait For This Kid To Come Out!”

Month 8:

“I’m a blimp! I waddle! I hate LIFE!” Dan gritted his teeth and tried to stand up away from the sofa, he wobbled, and then futilely grasped for the sofa arm, and fell to his knees. “PHILIP MICHAEL LESTERRRR!!!!”

“Daniel James Howell, almost Lester!! I told you to Stay Put! Which part didn’t you understand? I said I’d make a light lunch, and then come back and get you,” Phil sighed, and pulled Dan up with minimal effort.

“Ow! For fuck’s sake,” Dan muttered.

“Stop mumbling,” Phil implored, and ducked a slap to his head.

“Hey now!” Phil gently led him to the dining room.

“I am not weak!” Dan gritted out.

“Of course you’re not weak. You’re the strongest human being I know,” Phil soothed.

“I will so crack this pepper pot over your hench head!” Dan gritted his teeth.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Phil wryly said.

“Try me,” Dan answered in kind and picked up the pepper pot.

“Hey!” Phil put up a palm in surrender.

“Okay, Okay, I won’t rescue you anymore. You just try and stand by yourself. You try and go to the loo solo. I’m just going to stand idly by and raise our teens by myself,” Phil cracked.

“Just because I’m bigger than London itself does not mean you can make me feel bad about being an absentee parent. I’m incubating life here!” Dan put down the pot, and pointed at his protruding stomach.

“Ninny,” Phil said.

“I’m not even going to acknowledge what you just said about me,” Dan said.

“Well here’s lunch. Enjoy,” Phil tried to make an effort.

“How many more months?” Dan asked.

“One and a half, give or take a few weeks,” Phil was starting to have flashbacks to when he was pregnant with Dory and she was overdue by a month and a half.

“I just hope you go into labour on your due date and aren’t late,” Phil muttered.

“I hope so too,” Dan answered, and patted Phil’s hand encouragingly.

“You’re a nutter,” Phil said.

“I know, but you kinda made me this way,” Dan answered.

“You’re also my number one stalker,” Phil said.

“I am Number One Phil Trash !” Dan said, and put a pointer finger to the air.

“You’re incorrigible. It’s a good job you’re cute,” Phil said.

“I’m handsome. You’re the cute one,” Dan answered.

“Actually I’m still the ‘ball of sunshine’,” Phil said and tucked in.

“Ass,” Dan smiled.

“Mmmm only to you,” Phil said.

Month 9:

Middle of the day:

Dan was puttering about the kitchen. The kids were in school, and Phil had to go to a meeting. He’d been worried about leaving Dan, but it was an important meeting. One that had to be handled that day. “I’ll be fine,” he’d said.

Phil had crinkled his brows in a worried way. “If you’re sure? You call me the minute you go into labour,” Phil instructed, kissing him on the way out.

“I’ll be fine,” Dan answered to Phil’s disappearing back.

“I’m just fine. We’re just fine; aren’t we little one?” Dan asked to his stomach.

Then when he’d felt the kick, he smiled and had scrounged up something to eat. But something wasn’t right. And then he felt it. He rang Phil’s mobile. It went directly to voicemail.

He texted, ‘999’ then he forcefully slammed the phone on the table and doubled over. He made his way to a chair and panted hard. This wasn’t good. He tried to do some breathing exercises.

“Okay lamaze class that I went to one time, come and refresh my brain particles….Brain particles? What the actual fuck did I just say? Whatever just refresh my memory. Breathe out and then in? Or the other way round? I don’t fuckin’ know! Jesus fruckin’ poop on fookin poop shit,” He bit out.

“I’m fine! I’m good. This is nor….Mal!” Just then there were pounding footsteps and Phil was by his side.

“I cut the meeting short! Is it finally time?” Phil caught his breath as Dan feebly nodded.

“Thought so. I called the ambulance, I hope they get here fast,” Phil’s words rushed out in a torrent. “I hope so tooooo….FUCKIN’ ASSHOLE OF A STOMACH! GET ME SOMEWHERE COMFY!” Dan painfully yelled.

Phil led him to the sofa. “I called Susan and my mum,” Phil spoke softly.

“What for?” Dan asked.

“To pick up Dory and Michael,” Phil answered.

“Oh. Yeah,” Dan ground his teeth.

“Your dentist’s gonna be so angry at you,” Phil worried.

“Forget my fuckin’ dentist!” Dan said, just as the ambulance arrived.

They arrived at the hospital in record time. This time Dan didn’t mind the pain, didn’t get squeamish when he was opened up like a side of beef again. He knew it would be worth it. “Do you want to know the gender now?” Doctor Taran asked.

“Sure,” Dan said through hazy pain.

“Let me present your daughter,” Doctor Taran answered and laid the baby down on Dan’s chest.

“Cut the cord Lester,” Doctor Taran commanded.

“Yep,” Phil said, and did as was required.

“She’s….Beautiful,” Dan whispered. The baby had red and brown hair mixed, making natural highlights in her hair.

“Wouldn’t it be really remarkable if she had one tri-coloured eye and one brown eye? It’s hereditary. But it only happens in the females on my side of the family,” Phil mused, as he stroked the baby’s head.

She opened her eyes and blinked up at the two men in her life.

“Welcome to the world Baby,” Dan whispered as he kissed her cheek.

She cooed and then, when she realized where she was, she let out a cry.

“Oh good her lungs are working. Let’s get her cleaned up shall we?” Doctor Taran said, taking the baby.

“We’ll just stay here and hash out names,” Phil said, turning to Dan, after they’d sewn him back up.

“I’m stuck for names,” Dan protested.

“I was thinking, and I’ve had nine plus months to think about it. Plus I saw it on a baby website, and if you agree, then I think it’d be just the name for her,” Phil said.

“Well? Go on,” Dan prodded.

“Fiona Blyss. Blyss because she’ll really make us happier just by adding her little soul to the world, and doing god knows what, and Fiona. Not only for Shrek, but because it’s like a warrior’s name. If she’d been a boy I would’ve wanted to call her Thor Philip,” Phil answered.

“It’s fuckin’ lucky she turned out not to be a Thor. Although I’m not against Diana for Wonder Woman,” Dan answered.

“Thor Philip Lester-Howell. Think about it,” Phil said.

“We’ll call our dog Thor. If we ever get one,” Dan said.

“Yay!” Phil said. Dan rolled his eyes and puckered his lips. They shared a celebratory kiss, and then the swaddled baby somehow ended up in Phil’s arms whilst they rolled Dan to a recovery room.

“I love her so much,” Dan said through the drug filled haze he was now overcome with.

“We all love her,” Phil reminded him.

“I know, but….Now my tummy’s still pudgy but empty, and I don’t know what to do now,” Dan yawned.

“Try and sleep,” Phil suggested.

“Make sure she doesn’t get abducted,” Dan yawned again.

“I’ll defend her from everything, even malicious aliens,” Phil promised.

“Thanks Phil,” Dan answered and fell asleep.

“Well Kiddo, guess it’s just you and me,” Phil said, and bounced her a bit.

“You’re now stuck with us. For life,” Phil clarified. Fiona just blinked at him and yawned.

“I guess it has been a big day for you,” Phil conceded and put her in the plastic cot next to Dan. Phil leaned his head against the top of the chair and dozed off, until it was time to tell the birth certificate person all the details. Then they put Fiona’s footprints on the end of the certificate. And it was official. The Lester-Howell clan was complete.

A week later….

Dan was fully recovered and had scheduled his ‘other surgery’ five months ahead. He wanted to be fully healed, and besides Phil had cleared their diaries. The nurse wheeled him to the entrance of the hospital, and Phil pulled up in their van. He got out and jogged to the entrance, helping the nurse push the wheelchair. Dan was still stiff, and Phil helped him inside.

When he was buckled in, Dan looked in the rearview mirror. “They all came?” Dan asked, as he looked at Dory who gave him a smile and blew him a kiss.

Michael, who just waved and went back to his film, and little Fiona who was sound asleep.

“She’s been cranky,” Phil admitted.

“We didn’t really have much time to bond. It took me a few more days than last time to recover from the C-Section,” Dan answered.

“I know, but Dory and Michael have been helping out quite a lot. And you were right. Dory’s been fussing over her like a tiny mum. It’s so cute to watch,” Phil said.

“I had an inkling,” Dan answered as they headed for home.

“And the bed’s been big and empty. I couldn’t sleep without you, which is lucky because the baby’s been up all night too. I don’t mind. She likes it when I sing random songs to her,” Phil kept the chatter up, and Dan nodded and answered at every pause.

It was nice to be going home, back to a routine. Introducing little Ona to the world. He’d decided on her nickname.

“I was thinking of a nickname for the baby,” Dan said as Phil seemed to pause for a few breaths.

“Yeah? Me too,” Phil replied.

“On the count of three….” Dan started.

“Fi!” Phil said, just as Dan said, “Ona!”

“Both are really cool nicknames,” Phil conceded.

“Well you can call her ‘Fi’ and I’ll call her ‘Ona’,” Dan said.

“Thanks Dan for not saying my name for her was stupid,” Phil said.

“Cos it isn’t,” Dan said, as they pulled into the driveway.

They settled the baby back into her cot, and the older ones disappeared upstairs and into the library. Dan and Phil were alone.

“Internet! How I’ve missed thee,” Dan said and hugged his laptop, just as Phil came in with his ancient device.

“Oh, I see how it is. You didn’t miss me at all?” Phil sat beside him, and plugged in to a socket.

They turned on the devices and soon Dan was announcing the baby’s arrival and statistics onto Twitter. Phil added in his congratulations and of course the Phandom went wild with Congratulations and happy vibes.

“We need to do a collab, A.S.A.P,” Phil said, turning to Dan.

“I know, we will,” Dan promised. “Good,” Phil nodded in turn. There was a cry. “You’re on ‘Daddy Duty’, “ Dan winked at Phil. “Thanks,” But Phil was secretly happy that he took charge.

Five years later:

Two men of nearly equal height were trying, desperately trying, to decorate a cake, while a little five year old girl with streaks of red and brown, curly, long hair, and one blue eye, and one brown eye, ran about their legs waving a wand, and wearing a sparkling jumper and equally sparkling tutu.

“Go find Thor!” Dan said, as he caught the back of the child’s jumper and her limbs flailed in the air the ribbon on the star shaped wand flitting here and there, as she giggled up at her Papa.

“Otay Mumma,” She gave him a somewhat slobbery kiss on the cheek.

“Hi Daddy! She waved with a noodly hand in Phil’s direction.

“Mumma?” Dan asked.

“Yes! Because you is Mumma, and he is Daddy,” She answered, and showed a gap-toothed smile.

“Just go get your dog, and go outside, so we can bring the cake out, you little nutter,” Dan said, and gently set the child down.

She giggled, and then hugged their legs.

“Thor-Bor!” She yelled and a little beagle answered her call.

“Thor-Bor!” She said, and picked the little dog up. She marched outside and joined the rest of her party.

“Whew!” Phil said as he put the last of his icing on the cake.

“Almost. Done,” Dan’s tongue peeked out and with a flourish the cake was finished.

“Let’s present the cake,” Dan said, and the two carried it out to the party table.

It was decorated quite nicely with balloons hanging on the end.

“C’mon Ona! Time to blow the candles out,” Dan said, as the little girl ran up to the table just in time.

She sat at the head of the table.

“Make a wish,” Phil encouraged. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, and grinned big.

“Fwoosh!” she blew out the candles.

She looked around her, there was Dory, and Michael, and Louise, and Cornelia….Martyn, Susan, Adrian, Catherine, Nigel and everyone else she’d ever met. She waved with her wand.

“I, Princess Fiona Banana Fanna NiNona, grant you all to be at my Birfday Party!” She said.

“Thank you Princess,” was the greeting.

“Happy Birthday Fiona,” Dory said, and blew her baby sister a kiss. Fiona giggled and ‘caught it’.

Michael thrust a present at her.

“Oh Tank you Mikey,” She said and eagerly tore into the package.

“Ooooo A camera!” She said, and Dan took it from her.

“I’ll teach you how to use it,” Dan whispered in her ear.

“We both will,” Phil whispered in her other ear, making her giggle. The rest of the day went by very happily.

Fiona Blyss Lester-Howell was five, and had the rest of the world laid out before her. She was able to do anything and everything she set her mind to. She would do great things with her life. Much like Michael, and Dory. This tale is now able to end.

The End.

#Dan and Phil Fanfic

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flighty37-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Managing (#1)

Summary: Dan and Phil are both pregnant at the same time. Experience the joys of impending fatherhood; ready for loads of bants and snark coming your way. My first mpreg fic.

Prologue:

Dan and Phil had been dating for quite some time.

In fact it had been almost a year.

They'd been living together for six out of those eight years they'd known each other in a flat. They had decided to share the same room, but Dan still wanted his bed and fairy lights, for when it got too dark, and so, with much aggravation, they brought Dan's bed in with Phil's and together it made an almost king-sized bed. And so they slept together.

Month 1, morning of the impending announcement:

Dan Howell was usually a light sleeper. He went to bed at four a.m., and by the time he crawled into bed, and had snuggled down with Phil, Phil was starting to try and wake up. Sometimes. But today....

"BLURGH!" A retching noise came from the nearby loo, and Dan covered his head with one of their pillows.

"That's disgusting!" Dan slurred/yelled out.

"I can't help it! It's the sickness!" Came the pitiful response.

"Embryo, it's not even been a month yet, and don't forget...." Dan's voice trailed off as he flopped over onto his back.

"I know, I know! Mum wants us to visit the specialist!" Phil called back.

"That she does. How is it that we both ended up preggers again?" Dan asked.

“Lots of unprotected sex, DNA, and a sprinkling of pixie dust,” Phil emerged from the bathroom, and grinned down at his flatmate, his lover.

"Aww Philly," Dan smirked, and opened one eye up at him.

"I like the pixie dust part," Dan answered, and sat upright on the bed.

“Awww Danny-Boy,” Phil responded in kind.

“Uh-oh!” Phil raced back to the loo. Coupled with his motion sickness, morning sickness had been a constant plague in the flat. Only Dan didn’t get morning sickness. No. He got cravings. Lots of weird cravings.

They had decided to announce their pregnancies on a live show.

Since their announcement that they were dating nearly a year ago, there’d been a huge support group. What if throwing a double pregnancy at their audience caused their sites to crumble? Men didn’t normally get pregnant, at least not two at the same time.

“Phil? Are you going to be okay for the YouNow Broadcast?” Dan was worried.

He had tried to be supportive, and he hated it when Phil got sick. He swung his legs over the side of the massive bed, and put on some gray jogging bottoms, and put on a black T-shirt. He went to get the mop. As of late, that had been their routine. Phil equaled morning sickness, and Dan was the clean up crew.

A couple hours later:

“So here we are, cutest couple on the internet….BLURGH!” Dan pretended to be sick all over the monitor.

Phil laughed a little, though not too much, as it might send him racing back to the porcelain toilet.

“As we click baited, we’ve got some important news. But since it’s real news, then it isn’t click bait,” Dan tried to reach out to their audience.

“You can’t just do that waffling thing,” Phil protested. And then he spoke some more, “I have an announcement. I’m eating for two!” He giggled and held up a pregnancy test.

“Really? Just like that? No music, no flare? Just ‘Ta-da I’m pregnant’?” Dan tried to look stern, but he instantly melted at Phil’s pout.

“Ta-Da! I’m pregnant!” Phil repeated. Then Phil spoke before Dan could again,

“And Dan’s got an announcement too! Show them, please?”

“Alright, fine! I was going to wait until we got Phil’s pregnancy questions sorted, but sure. Let’s make it doubly hard on me. I’m in the baby way as well. Thanks a lot, Phil, for ruining the surprise,” Dan held up his own pregnancy test.

“Now before all the doctors on here say, ‘men can’t get pregnant’....That’s true. It’s very rare. And since we’re rare, and very clumsy, it’s happened to us. At the same time,” Dan started.

“Don’t worry we’re going to see a professional,” Phil chimed in, as they fielded questions left and right.

“Phil’s mum, and my mum found a very good one,” Dan reaffirmed.

“We don’t know the genders. We’re not that far along,” Dan said.

“I have an inkling,” Phil grinned.

They banted, they joked, they answered questions and then they shut off the laptop. Dan yawned widely. It was after midnight, and he was tired. He had been unusually achy as well. Coupled with the weird cravings, he just felt weird all over.

“Let’s go to bed,” Phil said.

“Sounds good to me,” Dan answered. They made it to their bedroom, and fell face first onto the pillows.

The Next Morning:

“Wake Up Dan!” Phil pleaded for, what seemed like the tenth time that morning.

“No!” Dan mumbled against the pillow.

“We have an appointment,” Phil slid back the curtains, and Dan rolled onto his side to escape the brightness; Phil hopped onto the bed, and leaned over Dan’s long legs.

“She’s supposed to be really good!” Phil breathed in Dan’s ear.

“You don’t stop breathing in my ear, and you’ll be eating through a straw,” Dan gritted out, as Phil backed away slowly.

“Besides, shouldn’t she be making house calls or something?” Dan asked, as he tried to go back to sleep.

“Doctors haven’t been making house calls for thousands of years. Get up!” Phil tugged on Dan’s arm.

“Alright, alright, I’m gonna get up, but I’m not going to be all bubbly and fantastic,” Dan said.

“I’ll make you some breakfast,” Phil wheedled.

“Deal!” Dan answered. Dan sat upright and tugged on his jogging bottoms, black of course; and he put on a dark gray jumper.

He felt his stomach rumble. Bless Phil for braving smells and being kind enough to bribe him with breakfast, so he’d be awake enough to endure the doctor’s office. After a hearty breaky, they arrived at the doctor’s office via the Tube. Doctor Alicia Taran was an expert in male/male pregnancy.

She’d had several same sex couples come into her practice, that were in the ‘family way’, but most of her experience had, mostly dealt with, one partner at a time. This was truly an unusual case. The two men waited in the room, side by side, heads down, feet touching feet, hands holding hands, breaths stilled for a moment at a time.

The clock ticked in the corner. Each had their hoodies over their heads.

“What if we’re both high risk? What if one of us is high risk? What if….what if the babies don’t survive? And how do we know we’re even pregnant? It could be a fluke,” Dan’s insecurities tumbled out and under his breath.

Phil patted Dan’s hand. “Well, we haven’t been traveling recently so I shouldn’t be as ill as I am right now,” Phil said.

“It could just be a mutated form of the flu, or worse. You had swine flu before, what if you’ve got avian flu?” Dan peeked up and over at Phil.

“I checked remember? The specialist assured me that I wouldn’t be able to spread swine, or avian flu. You were there you nutter,” Phil responded, and playfully knocked knuckles with Dan.

“And since we’re on the subject of being paranoid. What about you? How do you know you’re pregnant?” Phil countered. Dan shrugged awkwardly.

“So that’s why we’re here. To really find out. Even though we both already suspect. It’s rare. Very rare, but like I always say….” Phil’s voice trailed off.

Dan picked the sentence up again, “Life finds a way.”

“Yup,” Phil nodded.

“Life always finds a way,” Dan repeated.

“So there you go. Explanation, explained,” Phil said, and patted Dan’s shoulder in a comforting way.

“Mr. Howell? Mr. Lester?” A nurse walked up to them.

“That’s us!” Dan said in a haltingly chipper way.

“Follow me, Dr. Taran will see to you shortly,” Nurse Hammerson said.

They followed her, both giving each other nervous glances. Once inside the room, Phil sat on the padded examining table, and Dan sat on one of the rolling stools, and started to roll briskly across the floor.

“Calm down,” Phil said. “Shouldn’t I be telling you to calm down?” Dan countered.

“I’m not the one using the floor like Mario Kart’s race track,” Phil doubly countered.

Just then, Dr. Taran appeared, she was dressed in sensible scrubs, and her hair was in a tight bun. “Hello, I have read your files and you’re both pregnant?” She turned the statement into a question.

“It’s the only explanation we can come up with,” Dan spoke up.

“I’ve been projectile vomiting for nearly a month, and that almost never happens except when I’m sat in a car or a train, or anything that moves,” Phil explained.

“And I’ve been having the most unusual cravings. For the past few weeks, I’ve been craving this peanut butter smoothie, with barbecue crisps, and some orange gelatin all blended together, and I’ve just been drinking the hell out of it,” Dan also explained.

“Right, right, well it sounds as if you might be becoming parents. Which, if this is what you want….” Doctor Taran’s voice trailed off.

“Well they weren’t planned, but we’re keeping them. If they are a them,” Phil said.

“Right, well let’s get on with it. Who wants to go first? Daniel?” She glanced at Dan who was leaning against the wall now, arms crossed protectively over himself. He shook his head,

Dan sarcastically smiled, “Phil likes to try new things.”

“Alrighty then,” Doctor Taran turned to Phil. “If you’ll be so kind as to lie on your back, and pull your shirt up just a little,” She instructed, and rubbed the goop onto Phil’s bare stomach.

“C-Cold,” Phil’s teeth chattered.

“Sorry,” Dr. Taran said, and she put the handheld monitor over him. There appeared a slight fuzzy blob on the screen, and Phil waved.

“She’s beautiful,” Phil gasped out.

“She?” Doctor Taran looked confused.

“I’m psychic,” Phil explained. Doctor Taran looked at Dan who shrugged helplessly.

“Okay?” Doctor Taran’s response was weak.

“My grandmother was psychic and passed the gift on to me, therefore I’m psychic and she’s gonna be a girl. Aren’t you Dorothy Catherine?” Phil asked as the blob moved towards the screen and seemed to ‘kiss’ it.

“Well ‘she’s’ responsive I guess?” Doctor Taran blinked.

“She knows who her daddy is! Don’t you Sweet Pea?” Phil cooed at the screen.

Dan had abandoned the wall and was sat next to his significant other, holding his hand, and smirked as the baby bounced about.

“Oh dear, I get motion sick. Could you please settle?” Phil asked of the baby.

“She can’t hear you,” Doctor Taran protested. The baby instantly calmed down.

“You were saying?” Dan and Phil asked at the same time.

“I guess I was wrong,” Doctor Taran answered.

“I guess so,” Phil grinned at her.

“Your turn Mr. Howell,” Doctor Taran guided Phil off of the table. Phil sat beside Dan, and held his hand.

“I can’t wait! Double the babies, double the fun!” Phil squeaked out.

When it came time for Dan to be slathered in goop, the same sort of fuzzy blob appeared. But something swiped across the screen. Dan lifted himself up, propping himself on one elbow.

“Did you just flip me off? How the hell did you even learn that?! You can’t even see the outside world! Don’t you flip me off again!” Dan was shouting at the screen now.

“No, no, little genderless child, who I am definitely not assigning a gender to, unless you want a gender, or if you want to wear a sparkly tutu and heels, I won’t object. But I am definitely objecting to when you flip me off. You’re in timeout now, and until you’re born,” Dan said.

“That was not nice, you don’t flip anyone off. Ever,” Phil’s quiet voice chimed in.

“Did you hear that voice? That was your other parent. Don’t go flipping people off,” Dan said.

Doctor Taran face-palmed. This was the most unusual ultrasound session she’d ever had, and she’d had plenty of unusual ones. The same sort of fuzziness swiped across the screen again.

“Okay, I warned you, you’re in timeout,” Dan said.

“I think we know you’re both pregnant, I’ll be overseeing your cases for the next few months; and if you have any problems, questions, here’s my mobile number,” Doctor Taran handed them a card that looked to be a business card.

Going Home:

“We’re going to be parents, confirmed. This is going to be such a maniacal, topsy-turvy household,” Dan worried.

“We’ll be fine. The kids will be well rounded, with senses of humour and tons of love poured on them,” Phil responded.

“Yeah, I guess, I’ve never been a parent before,” Dan insisted.

“Neither have I. But we’ve got two sets of great examples,” Phil answered.

“And we’ll have our mums to help out and give advice,” Dan said.

“Precisely!” Phil held up a pointer finger.

“Christmas is going to be so expensive,” Dan sighed.

“Again, family, the grandmothers will love to spoil the grands,” Phil insisted.

They arrived home from the Tube in one piece.

And they both went and called their families. Of course both mothers were thrilled, and both fathers gave grudging congratulations. Adrian wasn’t too sure about the male biological system, and being only fifteen he really thought it was disgusting that his brother was pregnant.

“All I can think about is placentas,” was his one and only wry comment.

“Thanks, thanks a lot Adrian,” Dan muttered, and said goodbye to his family.

Then another phone call….

“YES!! I’m finally going to be an uncle? I’ll be the best uncle that ever uncled, in the entire ‘Uncle-y Universe’!” Martyn said, very thrilled.

“That’s so exciting. So any names picked out?” Cornelia asked.

“Just the one so far; because Phil’s so sure it’s going to be a girl,” Dan said.

“She is! Her name’s Dorothy Catherine. I think I’ll call her ‘Dory’,” Phil decided.

“That’s such a cute name,” Cornelia gushed.

“Nikki, will be the best Auntie in the universe,” Martyn interrupted.

“Oh Martyn,” Cornelia said. There was the sound of a loud kiss, and Phil nearly dropped the phone,

“Bye you two love birds.” Phil ended the phone call.

“That was interesting,” Dan said.

“Well you know my family,” Phil answered.

“And you’re the shy one?” Dan asked. Phil shrugged and smiled broadly.

Dan threw a pillow at him, which he ducked but it grazed his shoulder. Phil stuck out his lower lip and sank down onto the foot of the elongated bed.

“You’ve injured me,” Phil said.

“Have I?” Dan sat down next to Phil

“You have,” Phil milked the injury.

“Well the carrier of your child is having a mini crisis,” Dan pointed out.

“The carrier of my child?” Phil furrowed his brows, as Dan leaned into him, using his patented stare to look deep into Phil’s eyes.

“I’m not assigning myself a role, just like I’m not assigning this kid a gender, until he, or she, comes into their own,” Dan replied.

“I feel bad for assigning Dory’s gender,” Phil sighed.

“Don’t feel bad. I’m sure she wanted you to know,” Dan patted Phil’s shoulder.

“Thanks,” Phil answered, looking less sad, but he leaned his head on Dan’s shoulder, and Dan patted his cheek.

“I’m so glad I’m back on solid food,” Phil suddenly said.

“It feels nice when I don’t have to brandish a mop every morning,” Dan said.

“That’s true, and not feeling the top of the porcelain top of the toilet is nice. I’m hungry now that we’re talking about solid food,” Phil said.

“What d’ya need? Anything crazy?” Dan asked.

“No, I just want some cereal,” Phil said, standing up.

“Me too. Let’s go eat some and we’ll have a nice sit down and eating binge,” Dan said standing up as well, and taking Phil’s hand in his.

They managed to make their way to the kitchen without a single incident. Luckily being pregnant sort of equalized their equilibriums and they were pretty steady on their feet. So far.

Month 4:

“So I’m thinking we’ll make it gender neutral, a nice soft yellow,” Dan said of the spare room.

“I like it, and we can buy things in bulk, and two cribs. We’ll need two of everything,” Phil said.

“Don’t I know it. We’ll have to buy enough nappies, and bottles, and clothes to provide for an Army. Even though there’ll only be two babies in the flat,” Dan answered.

“Maybe one day we’ll get a proper house,” Phil mused.

“A white picket fence?” Dan asked.

“If that’s what makes you happy,” Phil said.

“No, infinite Wi-Fi, that’d be a dream home,” Dan replied.

“As long as it’s free,” Phil chuckled a little.

“Always thinking frugally,” Dan returned.

“I know! Let’s order all the stuff online,” Phil suggested.

“Great idea,” Dan took control of the desktop, and Phil laid down on his back and looked up at the ceiling.

“Bulk?” Dan asked.

“Bulk, bulk, bulk it up,” Phil murmured.

“Things Phil Shouldn’t Say Volume 14,” Dan responded.

Dan ordered what they needed and he looked down at Phil who was still on the floor, but his eyes were closed.

“Come lay over here. You’ve got that look in your eyes,” Phil added.

“What look? You can’t see me, your eyes are closed,” Dan said, although he got out of the chair and went to lie beside his significant other.

“You forget, I am psychically connected to the universe. Ergo you. You are my universe, now get under my arm, and cuddle me you fool,” Phil blindly kissed Dan, and ended up kissing him on the arm.

“Yeah, thanks for that,” Dan grumbled good naturedly, and he cuddled as best as he could. Their tiny bumps touching a bit.

“They’re going to be almost twins,” Phil piped up.

“Close enough, but I think Dory will come first. She’ll be ready to see the world,” Dan guessed.

“Maybe. Don’t judge a baby by its cover,” Phil answered.

“Don’t what?” Dan made his way over to Phil’s lower body, and made it so that Phil was his body pillow.

“Ahhh much better,” Dan leaned back and closed his eyes.

“Sure make yourself at home,” Phil smiled, and put an arm over Dan. The two fell asleep shortly thereafter.

Month six:

“If I get any bigger I’ll pop!” Dan said.

“I look like I’m going to have twins, but there’s just Dory in there,” Phil piped up.

“I can’t even tie my own fucking trainers,” Dan replied.

“I don’t even know what trainers are anymore,” Phil opined.

“Sorry,” both said in unison. They helped the other out of bed, and made their ways slowly towards the kitchen.

“Mind the glass door,” Dan said a bit too late.

“Ouch! New brain cells!” Phil held his forehead and part of his eye socket.

“Yeahhh….Move out of the way?” Dan asked.

Phil moved and Dan slid the door open. They ate their meals in silence.

“We really need to move,” Dan said.

“After the babies are born, and maybe a few months old,” Phil said.

“If these cracks get any bigger, and if those people don’t stop drilling, and if that neighbour downstairs doesn’t stop with the sex noises, we’ll have to start looking; more than just glancing at the classifieds,” Dan said.

“Alright,” Phil nodded.

“I want a brick house, Wi-Fi, a picket fence, a huge garden, and you know just the stereotypical place where we can potentially raise a family,” Dan said.

“I hear ya. I hear ya. We’ll start looking soon. And then we’ll move when they’re about a year old or so,” Phil said, and patted Dan’s shoulder.

“I’m tired of hearing that damned phone ringing!” Dan groused.

“Me too,” Phil sympathised.

“We’ll look after the babies are born,” Dan closed the conversation.

He put the bowl in the sink, and walked out of the kitchen, slightly bumping his head a bit.

“Son of a bitch,” Dan said through gritted teeth.

“Not in earshot of the babies,” Phil protested.

“Damned door,” Dan gritted out, as Phil patted his back.

Month 7, Finished nursery/new arrival?:

It was the middle of the night. Dan was awake like usual, and he was recording the nursery’s new finished look. It was a good thing that both of them slept on their backs, because they were much heavier now.

“So we’ve got double the nappies, the two cots symmetrically in a corner, the little mobiles above the bed, and just all around cuteness,” Dan said into the camera as a twinge assaulted his back, and he grimaced.

He’d edit out the grimace later he decided. But then, a sharp pain through his abdomen brought him up short.

“PHIIIILLLLL!!!!” Dan called out.

“Yeah?!” Phil’s quick response, followed by a swift jog into the nursery, had his flatmate by his side in no time.

“What is it?” Phil looked concernedly at Dan.

“I-I think….” Dan squeezed his eyes shut.

“I think, I’m in labour….” Dan gasped out as another sharp pain hit, and he doubled over.

Phil helped Dan to the sofa and surrounded him with pillows, he called 9-9-9, and was assured an ambulance was on the way.

As they waited…. “Shit! My fucking water just broke!” Dan exclaimed between contractions.

“Oh dear,” Phil said, and he fidgeted.

Just then there was a banging on the front door. Phil let the EMTs in and they carried Dan down to the gurney.

Phil took out his camera, “Hi guys! So this is the ambulance taking us to the hospital. It looks as if Dan’s in labour. Hopefully we’ll have news soon.” He cut off the camera and hopped inside the back of the emergency vehicle.

“Did you just upload a video, whilst I’m lying here in the back of this ambulance, in agony!?” Dan gritted his teeth.

“Maybe?” Phil meekly answered.

“ARGH!” Dan grunted back.

“Sorry?” Phil furrowed his brows. Dan just blindly reached for Phil’s hand.

“If you’ll stop having a domestic argument for a minute….” The paramedic said, and put an oxygen mask over Dan’s face.

“Heartbeats are normal, everything’s pretty much regulated. Breathe Mr. Lester….” Susan the paramedic said.

“I’m Daniel Howell,” Dan managed to breathe out.

“Right, sorry, we just assumed….” The other paramedic, Fernando started.

“Not yet,” Phil sounded hopeful, Dan just glared at him, and squeezed Phil’s hand so hard, it cracked a bit.

“Not so hard Dan,” Phil pleaded. Dan squeezed harder.

“OUCH!” Phil bit his lower lip and his eyes slightly watered with the pain. Dan slid the oxygen mask off,

“Yeah, how d’ya like that? I’m in labour and you’re prattling on about stupid shit. Uploading a video without my consent. Arsehole,” Dan muttered.

“S-Sorry Dan,” Phil managed to splutter out.

They made it to the hospital, thankfully Phil was in one piece, minus the hurting hand, and Dan was still in labour. Doctor Taran met them, and wheeled him into the O.R. Phil was ordered to wash up, and then it was time for the cesarean section.

“I need medicine!” Dan yelled out.

“We’ve got an anesthesiologist on the way now,” Doctor Taran assured him.

“He’s so early and he’ll be so tiny,” Phil blurted out.

“He?! Tiny?! Phil? Did you know the gender before me?” Dan asked.

“You didn’t want to know, and I did, and I sneaked a sneaky-peek at her clipboard,” Phil admitted.

“Phiiilllll!!!!” Dan grunted, just as the anesthesiologist came in.

Dan was helped into a sitting position and they injected him in the spine.

“Jesus Fuckin’ Christ!” Dan yelped.

“It’ll be okay Dan,” Phil promised.

“No it won’t!” Dan yelped again, as Phil took out his camera and he chronicled the birth.

“You put that camera away, and be moral support!” Doctor Taran commanded. Phil reluctantly put the camera down, and went to sit beside Dan.

They opened him up, and a few minutes later, Dan was presented with a boy.

“He’ll probably be jaundiced, and he’ll probably need to stay in the NICU, but he looks fine,” Doctor Taran announced. Phil cut the cord, and soon the baby was washed and swaddled.

“Now hash out names,” Doctor Taran said. She and the others had stitched Dan up. Dan was groggy, and a bit high from the meds.

“I can see our house from here,” Dan slurred.

“Sure you can….” Phil, still holding the baby sidled up next to Dan.

“Names?” Phil asked.

“I want him to have both of our names,” Dan said, a moment of lucidity peeking through.

“James Michael?” Phil asked. Dan shook his head in the negative.

“Michael Daniel James Philip?” Dan asked.

“He needs to know how to write his name eventually, I don’t want him to have carpal tunnel so early in life,” Phil chuckled, and looked down at the baby in his arms.

“Michael James?” Phil asked

“Michael Daniel?” Dan said at the same time.

“I like Michael Daniel,” Dan said.

“Michael Daniel he’ll be,” Phil decided.

Then Phil questioned,“Last name?”

Dan sighed and answered, “I don’t care.”

“What about Michael Daniel Lester-Howell?” Phil prodded.

“I guess,” Dan yawned.

“Welcome to the world, Michael Daniel Lester-Howell,” Phil grinned, and Dan reached his arms up to cradle the newborn, and kiss his forehead.

“I see you hashed out the names right quick,” Doctor Taran said in an approving voice.

“Yeah,” Phil said, and Dan reluctantly handed the baby over, and then Dan was wheeled to the recovery room. Michael didn’t stay very long in the NICU, he was pronounced healthy although premature.

Two and a half months later:

Phil was overdue by half of a month, and he was getting tireder and tireder of waiting for the little one to come out. He hid himself in his room. He was cranky, and Dan was in charge of taking care of Michael, feeding the three of them, and being on top of their YouTube enterprise. Michael was, surprisingly asleep, and Dan, was just finishing up plateing some fruits, and vegetables, going to give Phil something to eat.

Dan looked over at the baby, “Your sister seems to be quite comfortable where she’s at. Like me. I wasn’t ready to see the world….”

He paused and then continued, “Just stay asleep for a few more minutes.” He padded to the bedroom, and sat beside Phil who was concentrating on his laptop screen. He nudged Phil’s arm.

“What is it?” Phil almost, not quite, snapped at him.

“I’ve got you some food you weirdo,” Dan answered, and Phil looked at the plate.

“Yummy,” Phil answered and settled the plate on the duvet. The duvet rippled with the baby’s movements.

“I wish she’d come out,” Phil said for what seemed like the millionth time.

“She will when she’s ready; meantime let’s make a collaboration video. You’ve been stuck in here for far too long. And whilst I like solitude as much as the next person, I miss you,” Dan wheedled.

Phil smiled a little and munched on a carrot stick.

“Besides Michael’s asleep,” Dan said.

“Alright, well done, you’ve convinced me,” Phil put the plate beside him, and got out of bed, steadying himself on the headboard.

“So you will?” Dan asked.

“Of course I will. Just need a shower, and a quick change,” Phil answered.

Dan took a moment to admire his partner’s body, and would have taken that moment to get in the shower with him, but a cry interrupted his thoughts and he went to see about the baby.

“Are you hungry?” Dan asked, as the baby looked up at him with tear filled eyes. Eyes the same shape, and probably would be the same color as Phil’s. He already had Dan’s hair, it would be interesting to see how he looked as he grew.

Dan found a dummy on the floor, washed it and stuck it in the baby’s still open mouth and the crying subsided. Dan smiled, and picked up the baby. He cooed at him, then put him back in the swing.

“I love you so much,” Dan whispered, and sat down on the sofa. He opened his own laptop. Phil walked in, and he leaned over the swing. Michael reached up and reached for Phil’s fringe.

“Hey hey, I just got the fringe how I wanted it,” Phil kissed the baby’s chubby cheek, and sat down beside Dan. He put the plate next to him on one of the tables.

“Ready?” Dan asked. Phil nodded as he munched on some carrot sticks. He was ready.

“I feel like a whale,” Phil muttered, as a slight electric shiver went up and down his back. He rolled his shoulders.

Instantly Dan was on the alert, “Phil? You alright?”

“Yeah I think so,” Phil said, and turned a slight shade of sickly greenish-white.

“I’m fine,” Phil repeated.

“Okay,” Dan said as they went live. But then Phil’s hand slammed the lid of the laptop.

“I’m not fine!” He stood and warm liquid seeped through his trousers.

“Shit!” Dan said, and he scrambled for the phone. First he called an ambulance. Then he waited, like Phil had done with him. He texted Susan Howell, and then he texted Catherine.

Susan, being a bit closer was there in a little over twenty minutes, she had broken every speeding law known to man, and she’d managed to drag Adrian with her.

“About time,” Susan said as she hugged Dan, and felt Phil’s forehead. The paramedics arrived, and Phil was loaded onto it.

“If I die, I want you to take good care of Dory,” Phil said, in between his breathing exercises.

“You’re not gonna die you ass. I went through this, and I didn’t die!” Dan ‘encouraged’.

“Thanks Dan. I feel so much better….Hee-hee-hoooooo….” Phil breathed in and out.

“That’a boy,” Dan said, and they got into the ambulance. It was the same procedure all over again, and soon they were in a recovery room.

A plastic baby cot next to Phil’s bed.

“She’s gorgeous, she’s ginger, and she’s asleep. Three very good things for a baby to be,” Dan said, as he gingerly held the baby girl in his arms.

His daughter, their daughter. Dorothy Catherine.

“Mum laughed, and was pleased at the same time when I told her the name,” Phil started.

“Really?” Dan asked.

“Yeah, and then she asked Martyn and Cornelia why they hadn’t given her grandchildren yet, seeing as they’ve been together for as long as we’ve known each other,” Phil said, and chuckled.

“What’d Martyn say/do?” Dan asked.

“He nearly choked on his water, and ‘Nelia said it would happen all in good time,” Phil said. “Cornelia’s good at smoothing things over. Just like you Phil,” Dan nodded, and handed the baby back to his partner. His life mate.

Epilogue:

A red brick house, a white picket fence, a huge garden. Two men were vlogging, while the raven haired one was grilling and wearing his ‘body builder’ apron. It flapped in the mild breeze, and two children were chasing each other.

One had unraveling plaits flying behind her, her ribbons ripped to shreds. Her hair was a dull red, almost a strawberry red, just like her uncle Martyn’s hair. The two were both wearing jeans, though the boy who had brown hair, and tri-colored eyes was wearing a rainbow striped jumper. The girl was wearing a pink sparkling jumper, she had dark brown eyes like Daniel. She suddenly tripped.

“Oh dear! I’ve ripped my jeans again,” she said, and looked down at her dirty hands, wiping them on the side of her jeans.

“It’s okay, I’ve ripped mine too,” The boy said as he caught his breath and stood beside her.

“Michael Daniel Lester-Howell did you undo your sister’s plaits?!” Dan yelped.

“Ha-Ha Papa Bear full named you,” the girl said.

“Shut up Dory,” he playfully slapped her arm.

“No I didn’t!” he turned to answer his father.

“Good,” Dan sat down and finished.

“Grub’s up. Let’s eat fam,” Phil said, as he plated up the burgers.

“Don’t ever say fam,” Dan implored.

“Hashtag let’s eat?” Phil tried again, as the children sat down.

“No! Stop trying to be trendy,” Dan said.

“Nobody says hashtag anymore,” Michael said.

“Then what do they say?” Dan asked.

“They say hash-hash,” Michael said it all in one word.

“Nobody cares,” Dory said. The two parents laughed.

“Alright guys, time to go,” Dan finished the vlog.

“Say bye everyone,” Phil said.

“Gooooddd….Bye!” Phil started.

“Bye guys,” Dan said.

“Later,” Michael said.

“Love you,” Dory said. Then it was cut off and uploaded.

“Eat!” Phil said, and they all dug in.

The End.

#Dan & Phil/Mpreg fic.

2 notes · View notes

flighty37-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Well I’ve Had Just Enough Time

Summary: Something goes terribly wrong. Who would’ve thought it? Dan and Phil. Some specter is after all the males in Dan’s life, and he’s next. Something has to be done. Phil dies of unusual (to his nature) circumstances. Dan’s father and brother, (Adrian)disappear, Martyn, (Phil’s brother) is committed. And Dan is running scared. Horror/drama/supernatural. **

Major and minor character deaths, mentions of slitting wrists. Dying. Death. Bleeding out.

Disclaimer I wrote this before the London Bridge Tragedy, and I apologise if, some people think I’m disrespecting it. I am not. I love London, and one day, I hope to see it in its full glory. In real Life HD.

So it ends:

This was it. The last straw. The end of it all.

The empire of awkwardness had thoroughly crumbled. The era had ended. It was over. It was finished. Things were spiraling. A pale hand drew the lapel of the coat closer to his neck. The scarf was doing nothing against the biting wind. The air was thick with fog. Welcome to London. The boots scraped against the cobblestones. So what if the city roads were mostly asphalt, but the cobblestones remained from a different time.

A different place.

His breath excreted hot air that spun about his head in icy puffs. Let the wind blow. Let whatever deities that were around, if there were any, take him now. Please.

“Go on! Take Me! Do IT!” He screamed into the night air, his arms now outstretched and he looked up at the unforgiving sky; it hid the stars and the moon. It hid everything except for the twinkling lights in the houses. Houses that were full of happiness, of joy.

There was no joy in the maisonette.

There was nothing but anger and sorrow. Anger over something stupid. Sorrow over something that could have been repaired if they weren’t so hot headed, so stubborn. So full of regret now.

But it could never be repaired, Phil was dead. He had cut his wrists and he’d bled out. Phil was gone. Dan had carried his limp, lifeless body downstairs and had called the ambulance, and the funeral home. They had taken his body away hours ago. They had asked him about arrangements for the funeral.

But no. He couldn’t think about that now. He had to cleanse himself from any sins, from every sin. Which is hard to do when you’re an atheist. Agnostic, he corrected himself.

Whatever he believed in, he alternately disbelieved in. That’s how it worked didn’t it?

“Take me you idiots. Take me! I deserve to go. The writers always kill Phil off first, and then I do myself in. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Isn’t he supposed to come back as a vampire? Isn’t he supposed to melt into goo when Harry Styles exits his body?

Isn’t that the way Fuckin’ Fanfiction Works?! Assholes!”

He’d looked behind him, just in case Phil had become the first undead in history. It’d be just like Phil to become an undead, it’d be in his nature. He bowed his head against the wind that was furiously blowing. The trees were bowing, and swaying. They were mourning a life that was gone too soon. What had happened that Phil would just take his life?

Phil. The one full of energy. The one full of light. The one whose eyes sparkled when he ate ice cream, when he got chased by a squirrel. Whenever he would entertain Dan.

“Fuck Life!” Dan said, as he steered himself towards London Bridge. He knew it’d be busy. But he didn’t care.

Let him get hit by a damned car. Let all the fanfictions come true. He’d get hit by a car, eaten by a wolf. Be decapitated somehow. He’d jump off the bridge if none of the above happened. He steadily walked on the pedestrian’s side of the bridge. Head still bowed, mouth open breathing out the breath he still had left. Kicking small pebbles out of the way.

“Fuck You!!!!” Dan yelled against the torturous wind. It wasn’t like it couldn’t snow at any time. But snow wasn’t in the forecast. “Neither was Phil dying. Phil’s suicide wasn’t in the cards. He was only thirty….” Dan’s voice trailed off.

He had debated on whether he should inform the rest of the family about Phil’s passing and he pulled out his phone. He’d call his second mother.

‘“Cath?” His voice shook.

“Daniel?” Her voice was in the concerned range now. Then it would escalate to anger, and then sadness.

“I have some bad news,” Dan gulped.

“What is it? Is it Phil?” Catherine asked.

“Yeah. I mean, yes. Mrs. Lester, it is my regret to inform you that, Philip Michael Lester committed suicide by slitting his wrists earlier this morning. I’ve called the local funeral home, and his body is there for the moment. Mummy, I need you,” Dan completely broke down.

He’d never called Catherine ‘Mummy’, not even in jest. The anguished cry that fell upon his ears made Dan pull away from the receiver.

“He’s not!” Catherine said….Denial. “He can’t be.” Uncertainty. “No he isn’t! God please don’t let it be.” Bargaining.

“Mum?” Dan’s voice broke through to her.

“I’m coming. Call Martyn,” Catherine said decidedly.

“I don’t think I can. Cornelia’s the only one at their flat. Martyn’s been taken to the local mental institution. She said he was going absolutely, stark raving, mad. It hit him all of a sudden, and then Phil….” Dan gulped again.

“Phil….He wasn’t acting like himself. He’d been, he was doing...God I don’t remember. It’s all a blur. And I think I have it now. This, this, this overwhelming desire to, do something bad. Something I know that will hurt me and others around me. I don’t want to be like this Mum,” Dan said again.

“Where are you?” Catherine asked.

“London’s Bridge,” Dan said.

“The London’s Bridge?” Catherine’s voice wobbled, but she wanted to make sure of his location. She couldn’t lose him too. It was her duty as his surrogate mother, to keep him safe.

“Yeah,” Dan said, his voice getting slower and thicker.

“Don’t do anything rash. I’ll ring your mother,” Catherine said.

“But….I don’t….I tried ringing her. She’s not answering. Neither is my father. Neither is Adrian. But Adrian never answers his phone….” Dan’s voice trailed off once again.

“Go to somewhere warm. Go to a pub,” Catherine pleaded.

“I can’t. It won’t let me,” Dan said.

“What won’t let you?” Catherine asked.

“He won’t let me. He’s followed me. He’s controlling my movements, where I go.... He’s not a ‘he’ in the normal sense of things….He….It’s….I’m….” He swung a leg over the rampart of the bridge. Then the other leg followed suit until he was seated and overlooking the Thames River.

“I have to go Catherine. He’s calling me. Tell my mother, tell Dad, tell Nigel, tell everyone that I love, goodbye for me. I’ll leave my phone on the bridge part….” His voice was gone. Caught up in the wind.

The water looked so inviting, its liquid swirling a bit, steam rising from frothy pools.

“I’ll go and join Phil. He needs me. I’m his friend….” Dan was dazed. He was slurring his words.

“Daniel? Daniel?!” Catherine’s voice only slightly penetrated Dan’s hazy brain.

“No, it’s too late. They’re both calling to me. I’ve got….I’m going….I love you all!” Dan was just about to jump when something grabbed the back of his arm, lurching him off of the bridge.

It was a policeman. “Young man, what are you doing on this bridge? You know it’s illegal to be up here,” the policeman kindly said.

“You don’t understand officer. I have to. He’s told me I have to. I’ve got to join Phil, and my….and the others. He’s said so,” Dan babbled.

“Come along,” the officer frog marched him to the waiting car. But Dan wriggled out of the grip, and made a beeline for the bridge again.

“No!” Dan shouted. He looked beyond the officer, and saw ‘Him’.

“Come Daniel….Join us….I have Phil….He’s waiting for you….” The specter said. “

What’s your name?” Dan breathed in and out irregular breaths. He put his hand over his heart.

“I am the one you summoned for your video. The one called ‘Him’....or Geoffery if you would prefer to put a mortal name on myself,” ‘Geoffery’ answered.

“Jeffery, you know with a ‘J’,” Dan managed. He didn’t notice the police officer scratching his head, and calling for backup.

“Jump Daniel. It’s not so far. All you’ve feared will be laid to rest once you’ve given up the mortal coil,” The specter said in a soft lilting, melodic tone.

“Philip listened. He’s waiting for you,” The tone became scathing, almost angry.

The bony finger pointed at the bridge. The tattered cape blowing in the breeze. But this breeze around him was hot, and smelled of sulfur. Dan wrinkled his nose at the smell. He regained his spot on the bridge, the cold wind blowing the back of his head, his hair blowing, and then he saw Phil’s face in the water.

“Hi Dan, it’s okay. Don’t fight it anymore. I’m lonely without you….” Phil’s voice and face faded away.

“Phil! No!” Dan scrambled down the side of the bridge, hanging by one hand above the river, the river became frothier, it swirled in zigzag patterns, and there was a slight whirlpool in a corner somehow.

The wind picked up and began a howling so fierce, it brought even more fear to him.

Just then a hand reached out and pulled him onto the bridge again. This time he was in a kneeling position and someone had ensconced themselves around him, caressing his head, talking soothingly to him.

“Daniel….Sweet sweet child,” she said. “I’m here,” she continued.

“C-Catherine?” His teeth were chattering now. He was so cold, so empty. Nothing meant anything anymore.

“It’s me. Your mother is waiting….Something’s happening to the men, and she’s beside herself. We’ll save you Love,” Catherine promised.

“Nobody can save me. Jeffery, he wants me. Phil….Phil’s all alone. Phil’s cold. Phil’s never cold! Martyn….Martyn left Cornelia….What’s happening? Make it stop Catherine….Make it stop...Please?” He pleaded. His vision was so clouded, he couldn’t see straight.

“I’ll bring you to your mum’s,” Catherine said.

“Where’s Adrian? Where’s my dad?” Dan was trying to come to his senses.

“Susan doesn’t know. She went out for a bit of milk, and when she came back your father and he, they were gone. No note. Nothing,” Catherine helped the young man to his feet.

“Jeffery’s got them. They’re not coming back either….Phil, Phil was raging and then he went into the bathroom, not the loo….The bathroom. He found a razor. He-He-He cut his wrists, he bled out before I could get the door open. The door wasn’t even locked. Something was keeping him in. I couldn’t get to him Catherine. I tried! And when I could get to him….He was gone! The light was gone!” He trembled as they walked to the waiting taxi.

His knees buckling underneath him. “I’m going soon too. I won’t be here any longer. He’s taking us all. You and Mum, you’ll be all alone. I’m s-sorry,” Dan gulped. His breathing became sharp,and his chest constricted.

“I-I can’t help it. He’ll be here. Soon. He’ll catch up with me….With us….He wants revenge. He wants what’s owed to him. And he knows how to get it. He wants me,” Dan leaned against her. Using his whole body, pushing against her. Needing her. But trying to protect her at the same time.

“If….IF…..Someone’s got to tell our audiences,” Dan finally spoke lucidly. At least for a moment.

“Please save your strength. We’ll be at your mother’s house soon as we can. Try and sleep Sweetie,” Catherine soothed.

“How did you get here so fast? The Isle of Man is so far,” Dan slurred.

“I was already in the city,” Catherine said.

“But how?” Dan was demanding. He was also tired, and he glanced out the window. The reflection was distorted. And then ‘His’ face appeared, and then Phil’s face flashed before him. Then Martyn’s face, then his dad’s face, then it was Adrian. Then it began to loop.

He quickly shut his eyes.

“What you’ve been through….” Catherine started.

“He wants me. He won’t stop no matter how hard we try. I need you and Mum to go online and tell our audience. Tell them we went the best way we knew how, to end the torment. To sacrifice ourselves so that our loved ones can live,” Dan said, as he blinked his eyes, trying to adjust his sight.

He felt as if, he was going blind now. Grief, terror, filling every fiber of his being. She wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could, whilst urging the driver to drive faster, to get them to their destination quicker.

“I’m going as fast as I can. Traffic’s a bit of a trial,” the man bit off the expletive before it could be aired out. He was in the presence of a lady after all.

“Thank you. That’s all I ask,” Catherine turned her attention back to Dan.

“Daniel?” It was so strange to say his full name. He’d been ‘Dan’ for so long, but he’d grown up as well. He wasn’t eighteen anymore. Though he’d always be eighteen in her eyes. That was the age she’d adopted him after all.

“Yes?” He responded, he only responded to Daniel now.

“Daniel, we’re almost there. You rest against me, and I’ll wake you when we’re there,” Catherine soothed.

“Alright, and I’m sorry for calling you Mummy,” Dan said.

“You were, are, in panic mode. You’re grieving. I understand, and I’m glad you at least got through to me. Though your mother is worried sick. She said she never received any phone calls from you,” Catherine continued.

‘Tha’s b’cause He blocked them,” Dan’s voice was slurring again, as he drifted off into an uneasy slumber.

“Shhh….” She patted his head, and shifted so he would be more comfortable.

They made it to Reading in record time, and a lot of money out of pocket. Catherine didn’t mind. Though she was on a frugal budget. Getting Daniel to safety was her top priority; not only as a friend but as his adoptive mother. Susan didn’t mind ‘sharing custody’ of Daniel.

She quite enjoyed the friendly rivalry of hers and Catherine’s ‘mothering techniques ’. Though Catherine was more ‘home centered’, Susan was business centered, letting her children ‘fend for themselves’ more often than not. Not being there all the time. But she wasn’t cold or heartless. She was warm and inviting in her own way.

Not exactly standoffish, but she was reserved. Catherine cracked the jokes, Catherine made the small talk. But Susan would keep up her end of the conversations, filling in the gaps wherever necessary. Susan was a mother, just a different kind of mother. But when her boys were hurting, if they ever needed anything, she was always there to lend a motherly hand.

She met them at the door, as Catherine stumbled, half supporting, half walking with Daniel, Susan took Daniel’s other side and she supported them both the rest of the way inside the house. Her eyes were red rimmed, and Catherine went to make a pot of tea whilst Susan settled Daniel horizontally on the sofa bed. She’d covered him in a duvet, and put a load of pillows behind his head.

“You’re trembling Son,” Susan said.

“Because he’s coming. Like the Nothing in that television show,” Dan said, and his teeth continued chattering, though there was a roaring fire going on in the fireplace and he was covered in a warm duvet.

“Phil’s gone Mum,” Dan felt the tears roll down his cheeks, the ache was so real.

The weight on his chest made it hard for him to breathe correctly.

“He’s gone Mum, and I couldn’t save him!” Dan struggled to sit up.

But Susan gently and firmly pushed him back down again. “Save your strength,” Susan accidentally repeated what Catherine had told him earlier in the taxi.

“Sometimes you and Cath are so similar it’s a wonder you’re not bosom buddies as well,” Dan tried to joke, but ended up coughing instead.

“How do you know we’re not best friends?” Susan tried to joke back, to calm her eldest.

“Because you’re not. You’re always so busy. You’re always going on and on about the realtor business,” Dan retorted, his pulse slowing down finally as the fight or flight instinct drained away.

“We’re mothers. Sometimes mothers think alike. Strange but true. Sometimes mothers have a hidden psychic connection, and even if we don’t know about each other, we’re still the same. We’re put on this earth to love and protect our children. Like Catherine and I are trying to do now. Trying to save you,” Susan said, in an unusually long speech.

Catherine chose at this time to return with a tray of tea. Silently obeying the unspoken request to sit up, Dan sat upright and Catherine served him some tea and savoury biscuits.

His hand shook so much on the way to his mouth, that both mothers took a hold of his wrist and guided the biscuit to his mouth.

“Shall I steady the teacup?” Susan asked. Dan nodded, as tears spilled down his cheeks again. Suddenly his whole body stiffened, and like before at the bridge, he looked beyond the women.

“Did you miss me Daniel? I missed you. I see you’ve gotten back up. They won’t last long. They’re roadblocks to be sure, but I’ll be back to get you. You’re mine Daniel. Just like Philip; like Adrian, like your father, like Martyn, like Nigel….All mine. You’re next. You’re my trophy sacrifice. The reason they’re gone is because of you. It’s all your fault. Your time on earth is short. Say goodbye to the earth. Nothing can stop me,” the voice cackled and the specter was gone again.

The savoury biscuit dropped the teacup spilled across his knee, and Susan took the cup and saucer from him. Catherine took the biscuit. He was slumped against the sofa again. He was shaking again; shaking his head, and his lips were trembling.

“He came again. Didn’t you see him? Can’t you see that you can’t protect me?! I’m not getting out of here, unless I go with him. You two had better make yourselves scarce,” Dan weakly spoke.

Just then the phone rang. It was Cornelia. She was hysterical. Unusual for her. She was usually stoic, soft spoken.

“Catherine?” Her voice was shaking.

“Nikki?” Catherine put the phone on speaker so that Cornelia’s voice was heard by all.

“He’s come for me Catherine. Martyn’s come for me. He’s swinging a knife, and he’s going to kill me!” She shouted, and it sounded as if she were running for her life.

“Get out of the flat somehow. Come to us Nikki. We’re at Susan’s place. It’s a safe place,” Catherine pleaded.

“We’ll help you Cornelia,” Susan put in.

“I-I”m afraid. It’s not Martyn. It’s his body. It’s his face. It’s not Martyn. It’s evil. It’s giving me chills,” Cornelia said, as a squeaking noise sounded. Almost sounding as if a window were opening.

“I’m jumping down the fire escape. If I can outrun him, I’ll be there in half an hour….” Cornelia’s voice cut off, and the line went dead.

“Don’t you see? I have to get back to the bridge!” Dan stood and wobbled towards the door.

Two pairs of arms took him back to the sofa, and back under the duvet he went.

“I’m useless here. I’m better off dead! Don’t you Understand?!”

The fire whooshed, and it was soon out. A plume of smoke flew down the chimney morphing into a transparent specter with sharp nails, a face that was only an outline. Both women jumped.

“Did I Frighten You? Good. I’m Here For The Boy,” ‘He’ spoke.

Both women stood their ground, and formed a united barrier between the sofa and the horrible thing before them. “Then you’ll have to go through us first,” Catherine challenged.

“A mother’s love is unrivaled. Therefore the two of us can and will, defeat you,” Susan answered, as a feeling of anger overtook her, and she balled her hand into a threatening fist.

“You’ll have to do more than that to get me to back down. I’m ultimate power, more than you two weak humans are able to comprehend,” ‘Jeffery’ said.

“Leave my mums alone!” Dan was sat up again. He swung his legs over the side of the sofa, and with the most strength, as he could muster, he stood in front of the two most important people in his life.

“Take me. Spare them. Don’t take Martyn. I consent. Let Martyn be. Let Dad come back, let Adrian come back….Let...Let the others come back. Let Phil come back….” Dan’s voice wavered. But he was resolute.

“Tempting as your offer is, I don’t think I’ll let Philip come back. He’s mine fair and square. He’d chosen to take his own life,” ‘Jeffery’ answered, a couple of wispy fingers touching the outline of his chin.

“Not if he’d been in his right mind he wouldn’t have chosen that route. He’s Roman Catholic, and they believe that suicide is wrong. Me? I’m Agnostic. I’m a better choice. A better candidate,” Dan fired back.

“Pathetic,” ‘Jeffery’ scoffed.

“I’m offering my life for theirs. For each life you’ve taken,” Dan responded.

He was shaking with renewed energy and anger.

“I’m ready. I’ve been ready my whole life. I don’t have a soul. It’s a dark, barren wasteland in there. I’m sad. I’m dreary. Even though I’ve re-branded. It’s not enough. If I’m the sole human you need, to complete this….Whatever it is….Take Me You Asshole!”

“Not everything can be solved by a pathetic meat sack demanding something from me. I’m as old as time itself. I take what I want, when I want it. This standoff is a waste of my time….” ‘Jeffery’ smirked.

With a flick of the ancient’s wrist, Dan felt red hot liquid shoot through his entire being. He fell to his knees, and he gasped for the very last breath of air he could manage. As the enraged, and shocked mothers looked on, he crawled, haltingly towards the specter. The being seemed to be sucking the life essence out of him. The women were powerless, and had to stand to the wayside, as every last ounce of life was drained out of him. Dan’s body deflated, and he sagged into a lifeless mound.

“Tell them….I loved….Them….I….Love You!” Were his final words.

Then it was over. Finished. Had it really happened? Had things happened the way they’d just seen? So many questions. So little answers. A knock on the door sounded, and the fleshy mound disappeared into the floor. Sucked dry by the specter as it disappeared into the nothingness. Susan took a deep breath. Whatever was on the other side, it couldn’t be good.

Catherine went with her. Perhaps it would turn out to be good news? Side by side they walked to the door. Determined to fight some more if need be.

“If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed roses...Sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song, ….Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother she’ll know I’m safe with you, when she stands under my colours; and no life ain’t always what you think it ought to be… Ain’t even grey but she buries her baby….” A song was heard through the streets.

“I recognise this song. It’s American. But it’s fitting,” Catherine said, as she put a hand on the knob, Susan put hers on top and the door was flung open.

Cornelia was on the other side. She was breathless and had a bit of blood on her shirt.

“Cornelia, Darling,” Susan breathed out.

“Nikki!” Catherine buried her almost daughter into a hug.

“He’s gone,” Cornelia breathed out.

“Gone? How?” Susan asked.

“He just...He became slimy goop and disappeared into the ground,” Cornelia answered.

Then she continued, “Where’s Dan?”

The two women looked at the ground, then back up at the redhead, as they ushered her inside. They made her a cup of still piping hot tea.

“You’re hurt my Darling,” Catherine indicated the blood.

“Not mine,” Cornelia answered, as she shakily took a sip of the tea.

“His?” Susan ventured, as Cornelia slowly nodded, and focused on the far wall behind the two concerned women.

“They’re all gone. Aren’t they?” She whispered.

“I’m afraid so,” Susan said. “Then we’ve got to tell the world,” Cornelia decided.

“We’ve got to make sure that the Phans know. Soon it’ll spread word of mouth, internet to internet connection. This isn’t happy news,” Catherine decided.

“No it isn’t,” Cornelia pursed her lips and headed for Twitter first.

This would be the beginning of a whole new line of work. A work that two young men had started as a hobby; and three women would carry on. Though it wouldn’t be the exact same. They would make an effort, in memory of two nerds, who had dared to share their lives with the world.

Epilogue 2 years later:

“Well that’s about it. As far as I know we’ll be broadcasting on YouNow Thursdays and Tuesdays. Just as usual. We’re here for questions and answers, and of course Catherine and Susan will be doing their recipe-off. You know the one where they compete about who has the best recipe for the same meal,” Cornelia smiled into the camera.

She would do these ones alone, and then Tuesday she would trek to Susan’s house and they would go through recipes, and then on Thursday, they would FaceTime with Catherine and then would come the ultimate ‘Bake Off’ on YouNow, as the recipes were tested.

“For all of you loyal viewers out there we’ve got a poll on Twitter that you can cast your votes at. Goodbye My Little Swedish Meatballs!” Cornelia waved and blew a kiss at the camera.

She shut it off, and using Dan’s and Phil’s instructions, edited the video, then uploaded it. She took a small walk around the new flat. She couldn’t bear to be in hers and Martyn’s old flat, so she’d rented out a smaller flat. She took down a picture from the mantle and kissed it. She still loved him.

Just then a small bark caught her attention and a tiny Maltese yipped at her again.

“Come along Martie, I suspect you’re hungry,” Cornelia cradled the small dog in her arms and padded to the kitchen.

Things hadn’t gotten any easier. Bearable? Yes. Easier? No. She still missed him, missed them. But life still went on.

The End.

#Dan and Phil Martyn & Cornelia fic

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flighty37-blog · 8 years ago

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Lucky To Have Found You.

Summary: Nigel Lester finds his soulmate, in quirky Kathryn Smythe. She’s odd, outgoing, kind, sweet, intelligent…. Everything a dream girl should be. This is my take on Nigel and Kathryn’s romance. **

Pre children, during Kathryn and Nigel’s first schooling. They’re about eight years old. They meet on the playground:

It all started back in school, either primary or secondary. Thirty-five years later, Nigel couldn’t exactly recall the details, but he sure remembered how they’d met….

Nigel was sat on the monkeybars sitting on top, surveying the kids running about. Suddenly, a little girl with long brown hair with blonde streaks through it, dangled upside down and looked over at Nigel’s feet.

“I like your trainers, mine have sparklies,” the little girl pointed at her own pair.

“They are nice,” Nigel quietly rejoined.

“Nice? They cost my mum a lot of quid. That’s what she complained to Dad about, when I grow up, I’ll never complain. I’ll have a good house a very nice husband and a houseful of babies,” she sounded so sure of herself as she righted her body and sat next to Nigel.

“I”m Kathryn; my Daddy calls me ‘Kitty-Kat’; Mummy calls me Kath, and my brothers call me, ‘pain in the arse’. I have two! Brothers not arses,” she put her hand to her mouth, and giggled behind it.

“I’m Nigel, my mummy’s name is Dorothy. She’s psychic,” Nigel said.

“Really?! That’s so neat! Let’s be friends,” Kathryn decided.

“Okay,” Nigel said as they shook hands.

The Years Went By….

Nigel and Kathryn a.k.a. Kath, were the best of friends. They dated other people, but when the relationships ultimately ended, they ended up in each other’s flats eating ice cream and watching sad films.

One day:

“Let’s just date each other,” Kathryn said, after a horrific blind date.

“Are you certain?” Nigel asked, as he came into the lounge carrying a tray of food and drinks.

“Why not? Friends to Lovers; isn’t that the way it’s supposed to go?” Kathryn asked.

“I dunno,” Nigel shrugged, as he sat beside her putting the duvet over her legs.

“I’m single, you’re newly single again. Why the hell not?” Nigel ventured.

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” Kathryn quoted, and snuggled against him, testing new boundaries. Cautiously Nigel, reached out and held her hand.

“You’re a sweetheart Nige,” Kathryn spoke up.

“Thank you,” Nigel softly kissed her temple. They continued watching the film.

It was almost a natural thing. It felt right, comfortable.

“Mum said that you’d fit right in with us,” Nigel started.

“Good, I like your mum,” Kathryn answered.

“I like your mum too,” Nigel confessed.

“Then it’s settled,” Kathryn spoke again.

But It was Not All Sunshine and Peaches:

“What d’you mean you’re going to a different Uni?” Kathryn threw a dish towel at Nigel’s head.

He ducked and spoke, “I’ll not be too far. Three hours from your uni,” Nigel tried to calm her down. But she seemed to calm down on her own. She flung her arms around his neck, and almost crushed him to death in a tight hug.

He loved her and her enthusiasm.

That’s right, and I’ll write you and ring you,” Nigel offered, disentangling himself from her grasp, but kissing her lips.

“No worries Love?” Nigel whispered.

“IF you find another girl, I’ll never forgive you!” Kathryn answered.

“And give you up? Not for all the tea in China,” Nigel promised.

“Good,” Kathryn settled into the crook of his arms.

“I love you,” Nigel blurted out.

“I know,” Kathryn smiled up at him.

(Almost) three years later:

Having finished Uni, the two (still in) love birds found a tiny flat to move into.

“I love it,” Kathryn said.

“I’m glad, now that I’ve the newspaper job, we can afford this place,” Nigel answered.

“I’ll keep it tidy,” Kathryn decided.

So it was agreed, mutually, Kathryn stayed put and Nigel worked out in the world.

The Amusement Park:

Nigel felt for the velvet box, and curled his fingers around it, slipping it into his front pocket.

“Where Are We Going Again Love?!” Kathryn called down the hallway, rousing Nigel from his inner thoughts.

“It’s A Surprise, But I Think You’ll Like It!” Nigel raised his voice a bit to be heard properly.

“And Don’t Dress Formal?” Kathryn asked.

“No Darling!” Nigel assured her with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“I trust your judgement,” Kathryn said, as she and Nigel met in the tiny passage.

He reassured her with a slight kiss and held her petite hand, he caressed her bare ring finger as well, then he kissed it.

She smiled sweetly at him, and soon they were off to begin their date, adventure. They arrived at the amusement park, and Kathryn gasped.

“Oh! I’ve been wanting to ride!” She clapped her hands.

“I know,” Nigel whispered in her ear.

“Let’s go!” She pulled him up to the ticket seller’s window, They bought two tickets.

“Where shall we go first?” Nigel mused.

“Scariest rides first ferris wheel last, I want to get stuck on the top and get a look at the lay of the land,” Kathryn decided.

“Okay,” Nigel agreed.

The Ferris Wheel would be the perfect spot to propose.

“Are you alright? You’re extra quiet,” Kathryn observed.

“Oh just an article I’m working on,” Nigel answered. Kathryn shrugged but asked nothing further of him.

They went on the roller coasters first, then finally, the Ferris Wheel.

“I think it’s almost big enough to be the London eye,” Kathryn said, as they were safely tucked in one of the swinging cars, and she leaned on his shoulder.

“Do you? It’s so open, the stars are gorgeous like you. Which group of stars do you want?” Nigel asked.

“The ones to the left,” Kathryn pointed.

“And straight on til morning,” Nigel guessed.

“Only with you next to me,” Kathryn nudged him, and murmured against him. They kissed.

Nigel felt around for the velvet box, and pulled it out.

“Kath?” Nigel nervously spoke up.

“Yes?” Kathryn focused on Nigel.

“Kathryn Martyna Smythe, will you….” Nigel paused and opened the box as their car ‘got stuck’ on the top.

“Marry me?” Nigel finally got out of his mouth.

And then Kathryn burst into tears.

“Is that a maybe?” Nigel asked, he was confused by the lack of words, one of which should have been a ‘yes’.

“Nigel John Lester, I’d be honoured to be your wife,” Kathryn finally turned back to face him, swiping at her face.

Nigel handed her a handkerchief and wiped her face free of tears, he hugged her fiercely and placed the ring on her finger. She held the ring up and it reflected the moonlight.

“I love it, I love you,” Kathryn managed.

“I’m pleased,” Nigel answered, and the ride finished and then it was time to start for home.

“Let’s go celebrate with a night in,” Kathryn suggested.

“I’m for it,” Nigel acknowledged.

The Phone Calls:

Ringing one’s parents is usually nerve wracking. But when it came to the Lester-Smythe households, was actually pretty simple. Kathryn gushed out the news, and Nigel could hear the screams of excitement. Nigel grinned.

When it was Dorothy and John’s Turn….

“Mum? Dad? Nigel started.

“Have you proposed already; or is it tomorrow? I told your father I had a vision!” Dorothy excitedly said.

“I just proposed,” Nigel said, as he grinned.

“I knew it! Didn’t I know it Johnny?” Dorothy trilled.

“Yeah, I heard about twelve times and like usual you were correct, My Dumpling,” John answered in a loving way.

So the plans commenced. Everyone pitched in and both fathers chipped in the money and things were going swimmingly.

A week before the wedding:

Kathryn was in tears, Nigel was at his parents’ house and she held onto the receiver for dear life.

It was just a nightmare Kathy-Love,” Nigel tried to console his bride to be.

“It was Terrible! And then I had to….” The rest of her sentence was cut off as Nigel made soothing noises at her.

“Bless you Nigel,” Kathryn hiccoughed.

“We’re in this together Love. You and I,” Nigel said wishing he could hold her to him.

“So you do still want to marry me?” Kathryn asked.

“Of course I do,” Nigel assured her.

“I love you to bits and pieces,” She reaffirmed.

“Back at you my sweet,” Nigel answered.

“One week,” Kathryn sighed.

Well worth the wait,” Nigel calmly said.

“I know,” Kathryn acknowledged.

“My Love,” Nigel soothed again.

“I’ll go now,” Kathryn said.

“Dream of me,” Nigel returned.

“It will be the sweetest dream,” Kathryn answered.

It’d better be; Goodnight Sweetheart,” Nigel said.

“Goodnight Nigel,” Kathryn answered, as they hung up.

The Day of The Wedding:

Kathryn checked and rechecked her dress, readjusted her veil, she sighed. She had a fluttering traveling from her stomach to heart and vice versa. She took deep calming breaths.

“You look absolutely breathtaking!” Dorothy said, as she practically floated into the room, standing in the spot previously filled by Kathryn’s mother.

“Thank you Dorothy,” Kathryn blinked back tears.

“The butterflies are natural, if it makes you feel any better, Nigel needed tissues,” Dorothy paused for breath.

The women hugged.

“You’re good for him,” Dorothy assured her.

The ceremony:

Their vows said, and they kissed. Really kissed, deeply and with their eyes closed. Nigel made sure that Kathryn felt that kiss all the way down her spine, and to her toes. Kathryn didn’t want the kiss to end. But end it had to. They’d save up for the hotel room.

Clapping and cheering from the Smythe side, and a couple of whistles from Dorothy.

“Mummm,” Nigel mock groaned.

They honeymooned on, the Isle of Man. It was lovely, they had carteblanche breakfasts, a leisurely stroll amongst the waves. It was pure heaven.

A Bundle of Joy(?)

“Kath?” Nigel asked, a worried tone seeping into his voice.

“Nigel?” Kathryn returned.

“What is it Love?” Nigel was even more worried.

“I need you to go to Tesco’s,” Kathryn peeked her (now) pale face around the cracked open door.

“What? I’ll get whatever you need,” Nigel reached out and stroked her cheek.

“A pregnancy test; your mum had a certain feeling,” Kathryn nervously licked her lips.

“And now you’re ill?” Nigel pieced it together.

“Quite astonishing how accurate she is. Will you go my Darling?” She asked, he nodded in turn.

They briefly kissed, he straightened his tie and went out. A baby. Well that was fine. He had a great job. Kath and he wanted one or two at the very least.

He got back home in record time. She was still indisposed inside the room. He knocked on the closed door, and a hand reached out for the white nondescript box.

An hour later….

“Nigel?” Her shaky voice brought Nigel to her.

“Yes my Love?” He questioned through the door.

She opened the door, and took his shirt collar in her hand, pulling him inside. Though Kathryn still looked ill, her eyes were sparkling.

“We’re going to be parents,” Kathryn announced, not one to dance about an issue.

“I hope it’s a boy! I want two boys!” Kathryn chirped.

“As long as they’re healthy and happy,” Nigel answered.

“He will be,” Kathryn sounded so sure.

“Good,” Nigel had full trust in his bride, that trust would carry him through the whole of their marriage.

Nine Months Later:

“Martyn Nigel John Lester, welcome to the world,” Kathryn kissed the top of the baby’s brownish red hair.

Nigel proudly looked on.

The End.

#Kathryn and Nigel Lester Fanfic

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flighty37-blog · 8 years ago

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Birthday In London

Summary: It’s Catherine Lester’s birthday, and where does she go? To see her

children of course. Cornelia, Martyn, Phil, and of course Daniel. As always, Catherine is sharp eyed and ready for whatever the day has in store. Follow her, and Nigel as they visit their children.

Author Note: I have a headcanon that Catherine is pretty much a protective mum, and she pretty much organises how things are to go, and everyone just sort of follows whatever she suggests. She is pretty organised in the fact that she has folders. I mean where else would Phil get the idea to have folders when he travels? So as much as I don’t think Catherine is this way in real life, I have a lot of fun with my headcanon.

Warnings: Lots of ‘Dan Swearing’, some ‘Martyn’ joking, and lovey-dovey-ness from both couples (i.e. Martyn/Cornelia & Catherine/Nigel.

Family/Friendship/humour. Lots of humour.

I normally don’t ship Dan and Phil, so don’t expect to see them shipped as much from me. I do have a couple of stories where they’re together. But they’re few and far between. I like to see them as best friends. But that’s just my opinion and I have nothing against the ‘Phannies’. Also I imagine that as a family unit they’re loud and boisterous and that the four of them (Martyn, Phil, Cornelia, and Dan) are like actual siblings, loud, and joking and just being siblings. And I think that Catherine just looks fondly at them all when they’re all six assembled.

Rating: PG-R (For swearing. Sorry Dan, but you do swear and yell.)

London (the new flat):

Catherine nodded to Nigel. “Well we’re here,” she said.

“Indeed we are; seems like a nice place,” Nigel answered.

“We should let them know we’ve arrived,” Catherine decided.

“Text?” Nigel asked.

“Heavens yes, knowing the boys they’ll be staring at their phones inbetwixt tidying for our arrival,” Catherine answered.

She texted as Nigel patiently tapped his foot.

“I can imagine that Phil’s all in a tither, and Dan is doing absolutely nothing, but revelling in the fact, that Phil’s going mad trying to tidy for us,” Nigel smiled.

There was a bing, and Catherine read the message. She smiled. Phil appeared at the door momentarily, and he stuck his head round the door jamb.

“Mum! Dad! I was just doing a bit of tidying up,” Phil seemed to need to catch his breath.

“I see….” Catherine smiled as they followed Phil inside.

“Where’s Dan?” Nigel asked.

“He’s probably on the sofa, in his room….I dunno,” Phil shrugged.

They arrived in the main living area.

“Oh my goodness!” Catherine said as Dan appeared and he was smiling beatifically at them. The absolute picture of modesty and grace.

“Ahhh there you are!” Catherine hugged Dan.

“Here I am, and here you are….Hello Nigel,” Dan said, between Catherine’s arms, as he was still being hugged.

“MUM!” Phil whined.

“Oh yes, and my other son! How are you my Darling?” Catherine grabbed Phil into a hug, as Nigel helped Dan straighten his shirt, and the two shook hands on greeting.

“Would you like anything to drink?” Dan managed. He was always breathless from one of Catherine’s exuberant hugs.

“You’re such a good host! Phil, why aren’t you a good host like Dan?” Catherine jokingly chided, as Phil stuck his tongue out at Dan, who returned the gesture.

He would’ve added another gesture, but it was far too impolite, and he was nothing if not extremely, polite around the Lesters.

“This place is gorgeous! Not a speck of dust….Where are the houseplants though?” Catherine asked.

“I’ll show you in a bit,” Phil said, as the three sat down.

“Sooo drinks?” Dan asked, ready for the if only momentary, escape.

Nigel and Catherine said what they wanted, and then Phil had the cheeky gall to ‘order’ as well.

“Coming along,” Dan said, and then whispered ‘bitch’ under his breath, to where only Phil could hear it. Phil just gave him a cheeky smile.

“Anyway, so what are you up to?” Catherine asked.

“Mum it’s your birthday. You’re going to be treated like royalty,” Phil protested.

It was usually Catherine who took over the fussing and the planning and the pampering. But on her birthday, everyone helped out. They loved Catherine; and she loved them immensely. She regarded Dan as her ‘third son’.

They chatted as Dan set down the tray of the steaming drinks.

Thanking him as he doled them out. He sat down with his own drink, and then all four were chatting. About the weather, the plane ride. Comfortable, relaxed, familial.

Then, “We’re Here! Are Mum and Dad Here?!” A loud voice called up the stairs.

“Of course they are Martyn! They like me and Dan, Dan and I, better than you,” Phil joked as Martyn and Cornelia came into view.

Cornelia took her hand from Martyn’s and skipped over to Catherine. The two women hugged. They lived for each other’s company. They were the only two females, in the rambunctiousness of the men. They didn’t mind. They loved it. They knew they were all glued together.

Though two weren’t family by blood, they just were. A family. A cheeky, loud family. A family that loved their matriarch very much. It was Catherine’s own three days. They would outdo themselves, almost trip over themselves, pampering her. Showing that they loved her in their own ways.

“I’ve got you a surprise….Well Martyn and I did,” Cornelia whispered in Catherine’s ear.

“Oh?” Catherine asked.

“Yes, but it’ll have to be given to you tomorrow when you all come to brunch at our new flat,” Cornelia nodded.

She smiled over at Martyn. He and Nigel were engrossed in an age old argument about footballers, and rugby and any kind of sport they could think of.

“We were at Wimbledon,” Phil blurted out.

“I know, I saw you and Dan in the crowd before Cornelia did, and she’s got the eyes of a sexy eagle. Don’t you Nikk?” He winked over at his girlfriend.

She winked back.

“Uhh! Stop perving on my sister!” Phil protested.

“She’s not your sister. We’re brothers. Remember?” Martyn rubbed his knuckles across Phil’s head.

“What was that move called?” Phil asked.

“My American friends called it a ‘noogie’. Dunno why. It sounded sensual,” Martyn answered.

“Stop making your brother frown,” Catherine was in ‘mum mode’.

“Sorry Mum,” Martyn apologised.

“So whilst we’re here, what are we doing?” Catherine’s eyes sparkled, as all four looked at each other, then back towards she and Nigel.

“Oh, you know, birthday stuff,” Phil shrugged, as the other three nodded.

“Yep….Definitely birthday stuff,” Dan echoed.

“Uh-huh,” Martyn nodded.

“It’ll be the time of your life though,” Cornelia assuaged any fears.

“Whatever you’d like to do,” Nigel said.

“Ohhh….London is such a big place. I’m always awestruck whenever I’m here, overwhelmed and the like. So many things to do. Museum?” Catherine thought out.

The four exchanged glances. They already knew. Nigel had helped them plan. But they were waiting to see if Catherine would somehow ‘guess’ at what they’d ‘done’.

“Museums are nice,” Martyn spoke up.

“A play?” Catherine asked.

“Definitely could go see one,” Phil answered.

“A film?” Catherine asked again.

“Films are really nice. I could pick out the seats. As long as nobody sits in them. Then I’ll fight them,” Dan spoke up. Phil gave Dan a frown.

“Okay I wouldn’t fight them, but I’d think about fighting them!” Dan said.

Nigel and Catherine exchanged parental glances this time. Dan was their scrapper.

“Anything else?” Cornelia asked.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to see,” Catherine seemed flustered, but really she wasn’t. She loved being in this environment, but she especially loved being with her children. It made her feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside when she was with them.

They could be stranded in an igloo, and she wouldn’t have minded, as long as Nigel, Martyn, Phil, Cornelia, and Dan were there. She would have been happy.

“I think those are good for starters. The play, the film the museum,” Catherine answered.

“If I think of something else, I’ll let you know,” she continued.

“Absolutely,” Nigel said, and squeezed her hand. She smiled up at him.

Nigel was her support, and the love of her life. Without him….She shook her head. ‘Birthday thoughts’, she mentally told herself.

“Just think happy thoughts,” she murmured.

“Mum?” Phil asked, a worried crease in his brow.

“Nothing Sweetie, I’m just having a think,” Catherine waved off the worry.

“Okay?” Phil, Dan, Martyn and Cornelia exchanged a few glances, but ended up shrugging.

They finished their drinks, Dan tidied up, and soon they were talking about going out.

“Where to my love?” Nigel asked.

“Oh, to that posh fish and chips shop? The one I like so much?” Catherine asked.

“So traditional,” Dan sarcastically spoke up. Sarcasm was a part of his speech.

Catherine was used to it.

“Stop being sarcastic Dan,” Phil pleaded.

“He can’t help it,” Cornelia put in.

“It’s like a part of him,” Martyn offered.

“Sorry!” Dan tried to concentrate on his ‘being nice for the family’ persona.

“Right, ummm….To the chip shop!” Dan was compensating for the sarcastic remark.

“Sounds good to me. We’ll need a car,” Catherine said.

“On it,” Nigel rang for a taxi.

“You’re too good to me,” Catherine smiled.

“Catherine you’re good to us, and honestly we like doing things for you. You’re usually the planner; making sure everyone’s okay. Doing the ‘extra things’. We need to pamper you. We like spoiling you,” Nigel said, as he looked at the younger adults in a meaningful way.

“Right, and we appreciate you Mum,” Martyn started.

“More than anything do we appreciate you; your love and support are tremendous,” Cornelia chimed in.

“And you gave birth to me, even though I’m not a bandicoot,” Phil offered.

Dan put a hand over Phil’s mouth, “And you take us all as we are and don’t expect us to change a bit.”

Catherine smiled and put a hand over her heart.

“Oh you lot!” She said in a wavering tone.

“Don’t do it Cath, don’t cry. You’re here to have fun, and not dwell on sentiments. Right Lads and Lass?” Nigel asked.

“Right-o!” Martyn said in a cheeky voice and kissed one side of his mum’s cheeks.

“And we’ll make sure you do,” Phil said, kissing the other cheek.

“All the way,” Nigel answered, kissing her open palm.

“Every single minute,” Dan squeezed her shoulder.

“We love you,” Cornelia said, and squeezed her other shoulder.

“You’ll make the tears worse,” Catherine sniffed, but she reined the tears in.

“Stop, stop, stop!” Dan had a hand over his heart and his other hand was raised. His eyes were closed.

“What is it?” Phil asked.

“Too many feels,” Dan answered. Phil rolled his eyes.

“It’s my birthday, I’ll have emotions if I like,” Catherine smiled at Dan.

Dan opened his eyes, and grinned.

“You’re cheeky,” Catherine smiled and the taxi arrived.

“Chip shop ahoy!” Phil exulted.

“I love Fish!” Martyn said.

“Chips when they’re crispy and hot are the best,” Cornelia chimed in.

“You’re hot and crispy,” Martyn said, and they gave each other a lovey dovey smile.

“Please!!” Dan and Phil looked horrified.

“You’ll understand when you’re in love again,” Catherine said.

“Are you shipping us?” Dan asked.

“Is she shipping us?” Phil whispered to Dan.

“Your mum didn’t mean it like that,” Nigel interrupted.

They gave directions to the driver, and soon they were speeding off to the posh fish and chips shop.

“What play would you like to see?” Dan asked the real questions.

“What’s playing?” Catherine asked. Phil pulled out something from his folder.

“Let’s see, Hamilton, Wicked, Les Miserables….” Phil read from the paper.

“Wicked? I’ve heard it’s a new take on the Wizard of Oz?” Catherine furrowed her brows.

“Yeah it’s the origin story on the Wicked Witch of the West,” Martyn said.

“Spoilers!!” Dan and Phil yelped, Dan covered his ears, and gave Martyn a pained look. Martyn shrugged in return.

“Stop teasing them Martyn,” Catherine sighed.

“Why? They’re my brothers, I can tease them if I want to,” Martyn insisted, as Cornelia laid a hand on his arm.

“I’m adopted,” Dan huffed.

“So you are. But you’re still family,” Cornelia said.

“You’re adopted too,” Dan said.

“She’s gonna be adopted forever. It’s been eight years, I’m not letting this one go,” Martyn said, and held her close to him. Both were just as enamored with each other as they had been when they’d lit the flame.

“So sweet,” Catherine said, as they arrived at the fish and chips shoppe.

“Alright, behave,” Catherine said, as she put a finger to her lips.

“I’m always behaving,” Martyn said.

“Well….Actually….” Phil interrupted.

“Hold on!” Cornelia said.

“If this is a contest, I win,” Dan said.

“Children,” Nigel rolled his eyes. Catherine started chuckling.

“Alright you lot, enough,” Nigel tried to get the chattering under control.

They really did act like siblings. Catherine was enjoying herself, as she ordered, and then the rest ordered as well. They sat down in a booth. Dan and Phil were seated next to each other towards the middle, and Cornelia and Martyn book ended them. Then Catherine and Nigel were sat in two chairs opposite the four, and as they waited for their orders, they discussed where to go next.

“I’d like to see the Wicked production,” Catherine decided.

They all nodded their heads. When the waiter got to them, Nigel whispered in his ear, “It’s my wife’s birthday.”

The waiter smiled, and he nodded.

“What have you done Nigel?” Catherine asked.

“Called in a favour,” Nigel smiled sweetly at his wife.

“You’re incorrigible," Catherine declared. “You can’t take all the credit for the way the youngsters behave,” Nigel winked at her.

Catherine merely smiled back at him. Her eyes were sparkling though.

“Mum and Dad are being love sick again!” Martyn opined.

“Stop the world, I want to get off,” Phil chimed in.

“The Horror!” Cornelia smirked.

“The Feels!” Dan said. Catherine gave Nigel a long suffering look.

“You’re the one who wanted another boy. I said, ‘Let’s stop adopting at Cornelia. She’s the girl we never had’. But noooo you adopted Dan. So, now we have to keep him,” Nigel grinned, as the two exchanged glances once more.

“What can I say? I like his dimples,” Catherine whispered.

“Are you talking about me? I have a feeling they’re talking about me. Why must you pick on the awkward, nerdy, introvert?” Dan complained.

“Because you’re the youngest,” Cornelia said.

“Well you’re the oldest,” Dan argued.

“Dan!” Phil squeaked out.

“I’ll let my lady, handle herself,” Martyn sat back to watch the fireworks.

“That’s the best you can do Daniel?” Cornelia quirked an eyebrow at him.

“No, but you’d beat me to a pulp. You took lessons,” Dan retorted.

“Darn right I did,” Cornelia crossed her arms. She eyed the three of them to see if they would say something lippy.

“Sorry Cornelia,” Phil quietly apologised.

Cornelia let a smile through, though she kept an eye on Dan. “How about going to see the film Dunkirk?” Phil changed the subject, just as their food arrived.

They all dug in, and as soon as they were finished Catherine picked up the conversation from where they’d left off, “Dunkirk sounds like a wonderful film; even if it’s about the war. I’m sure it will be a lovely film.” Catherine smiled demurely at them all.

Just then, “Happy Birthday toooo you!!!!” The waiters came out with a cake and sparklers instead of candles.

“Oh my!” Catherine put her hand over her heart.

“Surprise Cath,” Nigel whispered in her ear.

“Than-Thank you,” Catherine managed.

She was moved by all the kind gestures.

“She’s going to cry again,” Phil said, as he wrung his hands in a nervous gesture.

“She won’t. She’s just happy,” Cornelia assured him.

Dan patted Phil’s shoulder in a comforting gesture, and even Martyn reached over and ruffled Phil’s hair.

“Stop that, I need the fringe,” Phil pouted.

“Oh you poor boy,” Martyn ruffled it even more.

“Mart!” Phil yelped.

“Boys,” Nigel said, and that was all that was needed.

“Right, it’s Mum’s three days,” Phil nodded, and shoved Dan.

“What’d you do that for?” Dan shoved him back.

“Because you’re easier to reach than Martyn is,” Phil smirked.

“Let me do the honours,” Cornelia said, and shoved Martyn’s shoulder in Phil’s defence. Phil smirked in Martyn’s direction.

“The night’s not over little bro,” Martyn retorted.

“I’m finally taller than you though. So I could probably sit on you,” Phil sized his brother up.

“Oh? You think it’ll be that easy?” Martyn returned.

“Put them away,” Cornelia spoke up.

“Put what away?” Phil looked genuinely confused.

“I’ll explain when you’re older,” Dan joked.

“We’re going to see a film, and you two will behave,” Catherine eyed Martyn and Phil in a motherly way; the two hung their heads, but side glanced at each other, much to the amusement of Cornelia and Dan.

Cornelia and Dan shook hands under the table. Soon they were eating and then they had slivers of cake. Then it was off to the cinema. Catherine held Nigel’s hand and the six entered.

“Popcorn!” Phil said, and fidgeted with excitement.

“Don’t ask for extra butter,” Dan piped up.

“That was in America. I won’t make the same mistake twice,” Phil nodded in agreement.

“What about Swedish Fish,” Phil mused.

“Ugh! They taste like dust and cardboard,” Dan said.

“Well get Maltesers,” Phil suggested.

“That’s not part of my rebranding,” Dan said.

“Oh Daniel….” Phil bit out.

“Shut up,” Dan pushed him.

Cornelia and Martyn ordered a small tub of popcorn, large drinks and some M&M’s. Then they stood to the side and Dan and Phil debated over snacks.

“Mars Bar,” Dan finally decided, Cornelia slow clapped.

“Finally!” Martyn said.

“Leave him alone,” Phil and Catherine spoke up.

“Ouch!” Martyn quieted down.

“I feel like I’m taking zoo animals out in public,” Nigel muttered.

“Hey!!!!” Four voices answered in kind, and bit of hurt.

“Nigel….” Catherine led them all to the appointed place.

Their tickets got torn to enter, and then they settled in. They were the only ones there at first.

“If some kids sit in front of me and are rude, I am not responsible for my actions,” Dan said, as they found their seats he’d found online.

“Control yourself for Mum,” Phil pleaded.

“I will fight anyone who’s rude,” Dan answered.

“Oh lord,” Cornelia said, as she and Martyn sat near the aisle.

Nigel and Catherine were two seats away from the couple. Dan and Phil were sat towards the middle.

“Even if it’s an old lady?” Phil asked.

“No, because she’d be an octogenarian and probably her mind’s going,” Dan said.

“Well that’s a relief,” Phil sighed.

“But, if anyone with a loud crisp packet, or if anyone sends any popcorn flying and it lands on me, I will give a strongly worded ‘Shut The Fuck Up’,” Dan replied.

“Please don’t say the eff word,” Phil pleaded.

“Fuck,” Dan answered.

A piece of popcorn landed in Dan’s lap. Dan gave a finger to Martyn. Phil buried his face in his hands.

“No! Not the previews!” Dan covered his ears. Phil followed suit.

“For heaven’s sake,” Cornelia sighed.

“I’m so telling them all the previews,” Martyn chuckled.

“They signed a no spoilers pact,” Nigel said.

“I know, I was the one who drew up the draft,” Martyn answered.

“Were the signatures in blood?” Catherine was curious.

“No, red Sharpie,” Martyn answered.

“So it looked like blood. Those two are very imaginative,” Catherine said.

“You’re the one who had Phil. If it had been up to me, I’d have been an only child,” Martyn offered.

“If Phil wasn’t here, I’d never know Dan,” Catherine was slightly upset again.

“Mum I didn’t mean it!” Martyn was quick to apologise.

“What did you do Martyn?” Phil hissed at him, as he slowly put a hand down, seeing as the previews were almost at an end.

“Nothing,” Martyn answered.

“Stop yelling across,” Dan said, as he lowered his hands from his ears.

“So in one of the upcoming features….” Martyn started.

“No!!” Dan and Phil covered their ears again. Martyn smirked.

“Ass!” Dan yelped.

“Yeah what Dan just said,” Phil responded.

“Language!!” Nigel and Catherine spoke in unison.

“Shush! The film’s starting,” Cornelia put a finger to her lips, and they all settled down.

Three hours later:

“How was it?” Phil worried. His parents had seemed a little sad.

“Well your grandfather was in the war; I reckon it reminded me a bit of the stories he used to tell,” Catherine said.

“They weren’t nice stories either,” Nigel answered.

“I see,” Phil said.

“But it was a beautiful adaptation of a tragedy,” Catherine offered. Phil perked up a bit.

“You think so?” Phil asked.

“Of course,” Nigel returned. They got a late night dessert.

“You’re spending the night with Dan and Phil, and then you’re spending the next two days with us,” Martyn said.

“Right, and then brunch is tomorrow as well,” Cornelia eyed the youngest members of the family.

“Don’t look at me like that. We’ll be at brunch,” Dan said.

“I’ll make sure we’re not too late. He’s the one who won’t get started at the beginning,” Phil said.

“Don’t say things like that in front of your mum,” Dan begged.

“Shut up,” Phil said. “If you two keep acting like juveniles, I’m taking away your computers and sending you to bed early,” Catherine interrupted the bantering.

“Mum wins,” Phil scrunched up his nose.

“Mum always wins,” Martyn smirked.

“Goodnight you two,” Nigel hugged Cornelia and Martyn, and there were two cars called.

“G’night you lot,” Martyn said. Cornelia hugged everyone as well.

When the cars arrived, they all went their separate ways.

“So your room is down a flight of stairs?” Catherine said.

“Yeah and Dan’s is on top,” Phil said.

“That sounded so not right,” Dan said.

“Nothing I say sounds right, or socially acceptable. You should be used to that by now,” Phil retorted.

“We’ve got a guest room next to the kitchen,” Dan said, and put their things in it.

“You’re so helpful,” Catherine resisted the urge to hug him again. He could only take so much hugging in one day.

“If you need anything….” Phil offered.

“I’m sure we’ll let you know. Especially since you’ll still be awake when your mother and I are sleeping,” Nigel answered.

“They’re night owls; don’t tease them,” Catherine gently chided, nudging Nigel’s side.

“We’re off to sleep. Keep the noise to a modicum of decency,” Nigel looked at Dan.

“I don’t scream all the time,” Dan protested.

“Don’t you? If you’re planning on recording a video, or playing a videogame with Phil, tell me now, so I’ll be sure to put a pillow over my head to drown out the noise,” Nigel semi-joked.

“Ha-ha,” Dan sighed.

“Well you do have a tendency to break the sound barrier,” Phil put in.

“You’re supposed to be on my side! And we’ve been through what the sound barrier is for the millionth time,” Dan protested.

“Out, out, out,” Catherine shooed the two out of the room.

“Alright Mum, goodnight you two,” Phil said.

“Goodnight Catherine, ‘night Nigel,” Dan said and the two were gone.

“They’re a handful,” Catherine got ready for sleep.

“Well they’re interesting; there’s no doubt about that,” Nigel tucked himself in, and Catherine slid in beside him.

“But I wouldn’t trade this for all the world’s riches,” Catherine said, plumping her pillow a bit and then closing her eyes. “Neither would I,” Nigel whispered. He too closed his eyes.

The next morning:

Catherine and Nigel were awake and enjoying a cup of coffee each. Dan and Phil were nowhere to be seen.

“Should we wake them?” Nigel asked.

“Heavens no, let the dear boys sleep,” Catherine answered.

“I could hear rustling in the kitchen last night,” Nigel started.

“Phil most probably scrounging for something to eat,” Catherine nodded as she took another sip of coffee.

“Hmmm,” Nigel nodded. Just then two young men stumbled into the kitchen. They were both rubbing at their eyes trying to wake up.

“Coffeeeee….” Phil mumbled.

“I need to live!” Dan squeaked out.

“The coffee’s made,” Nigel spoke, startling the two.

“Woah! I was not expecting you two to be here,” Dan put a hand over his heart.

“Well we’re early risers. Unlike the two of you,” Nigel smiled.

“We’ve got brunch in an hour,” Phil panicked.

“Jesus! I have to get ready. It’s gonna take me like three hours,” Dan ambled off, coffee in hand to his room.

“Hi Mum, Hi Dad,” Phil sat up at the table with his own coffee, and sipped.

“So we’re waiting for Daniel then?” Nigel asked.

“Story of my life,” Phil nodded and sipped some more.

“How often is he late?” Nigel asked.

“Every day,” Phil sighed.

“We’ll be here for a while yet,” Catherine and Nigel were already dressed for the day.

“I’ll get dressed. Give me ten minutes,” Phil ambled off to his downstairs room.

Just then Nigel’s phone rang. “Hello?” Nigel greeted.

“Dad are you heading here yet?” Martyn enquired.

“Not yet. We’re waiting for the youngests,” Nigel sighed.

“Dan is going to take some convincing….I’ll call you back!” Martyn hung up.

“MARTYN! Now Is Not The Time!” Dan’s voice was heard.

“Are you sure you don’t want to run back to the Isle of Man?” Nigel asked.

“And miss all this? Are you crazy?” Catherine returned.

“Well I married you didn’t I?” Nigel smiled.

“Don’t Freak Out Dan!” Phil yelled from his room.

“Your Brother’s An Idiot!” Dan informed his flatmate.

“Yeah I knew that before you knew that,” Phil responded.

“You know your mother and I can hear you,” Nigel gave the two a gentle reminder.

“Sorry!” Phil said right away.

“I’m almost ready,” Dan answered by way of apology.

“No you’re not. You’re throwing your shi...stuff all over! I can hear you!” Phil objected.

“Hear this!” Dan stomped his foot on the floor, which was Phil’s ceiling.

“Stop it!” Phil said.

“Never!” Dan stomped two feet onto the floor.

“We’re gonna Miss Brunch!” Nigel reminded them again.

“Oh hell,” Dan responded.

“Language Daniel!” Phil said.

“I need more coffee,” Nigel refilled his and Catherine’s mugs. Catherine nodded, but she was smiling a little.

Finally they were all out the door. It was a fairly nice day. The birds were actually singing, there weren’t any signs of diseased pigeons anywhere, and everyone was dressed semi nicely.

“You’re wearing white,” Catherine observed Dan’s shirt.

“I’ve been feeling less black clothing lately,” Dan answered.

“Hmmm….” Catherine nodded.

“And Phil?” Nigel looked at Phil’s black on black outfit.

“What? It’s a newish thing,” Phil shrugged and fixed his fringe.

“Alright then,” Catherine answered as they stepped into the car and arrived at Martyn and Cornelia’s flat.

Catherine and Nigel had put their things in the taxi as well, since they’d be staying with the older couple. Cornelia and Martyn greeted them at the door, and waved. Phil paid for the ride, and they all four ambled inside.

Dan and Phil and Nigel all had a piece of luggage, and Catherine was walking behind them.

“You’re here! You’re finally here!” Cornelia clapped her hands.

“Dan finally decided on an outfit,” Martyn smirked.

“It’s too early for bants. I only had one cup of coffee,” Phil moaned.

“So did I, and Martyn wouldn’t stop texting me every five seconds,” Dan retorted.

“You’re such a slow turtle,” Martyn responded and he led the way inside the flat.

It was a nice cozy flat. Not as much storage as the maisonette, but it was nice for the two that lived there. They were happy, and it was a newer flat than what they had previously lived in.

“Brunch is ready, plenty of coffee,” Cornelia spread her arm towards the food laid out buffet style.

“Mum you go first,” Martyn said.

“Thank you Darling, but I’d rather you lot eat first. I imagine you’re hungry,” Catherine deflected the offer.

“Mum, I insist,” Martyn made a show of holding both Dan and Phil away from the food with an arm. Phil playfully pushed against him, and Dan just scowled.

“Alright since you’ve put it that way,” Catherine conceded.

Soon….

They were all sat up at the table now. Enjoying each others’ company and sipping coffee.

“We’re off to do something next. Probably a museum. Not Madame Tussaud’s. It’ll be right packed. Maybe the history museum or summat,” Martyn spoke. “That sounds delightful,” Catherine approved.

“Mum approved, and we’ll be looking at boring paintings, and then we’ll go for an ice cream,” Phil said, as he studied his own itinerary.

“I’m so pleased you took after me, those folders are so adorable,” Catherine spoke up as she noticed what Phil was doing. Phil blushed.

“Anyway….” Martyn interrupted.

“Right then we’re going to enjoy London, perhaps either go for an ice cream or a milkshake if you’d rather,” Catherine said.

“Both?” Phil’s eyes lit up.

“Too much milk will not make you feel well Sweetie,” Catherine shook her head.

“But I can handle it,” Phil insisted.

“As your mother, and as it’s my birthday, I’m going to have to veto that idea straight off,” Catherine answered.

“Okay Mum,” Phil pursed his lips.

At the Museum:

“Look at the colours,” Catherine took a picture with one of her manual cameras.

Meantime flashes went off from other peoples’ phones. She prefered the old fashioned way.

“Ahhh my favourite portrait when we come in here….She’s so happy,” Catherine gushed.

“How can you tell? Her lips aren’t even making a smiling effort. And she looks hell’a pissed,” Dan said.

“I can tell by the eyes Dear,” Catherine had swung an arm over Dan’s shoulder.

“You can always tell by the eyes who is amused, who hates you, and who would bend over backwards for you. The eyes are the windows to the soul,” Catherine answered.

“What if I don’t have a soul?” Dan said.

“I can still read you, so you’ve a soul somewhere,” Catherine smiled a bit.

“I’m gonna have to hide it away in its box,” Dan said, a decisive tone creeping in.

“Are the eyes the reason I can read Phil so well?” Dan mused.

“Probably. He’s a very expressive person….Young man,” Catherine nodded.

“Hmmm….” Dan said nothing more and moved on to the more darker paintings.

“These speak to me so much!” Dan said as he studied the black and white swirls.

After the museum:

“I do like my milkshakes,” Catherine nodded, as she heard the slurping all around her. They were resting in a local shop. Their day’s activities being spent.

They were going to go back to Martyn’s and Cornelia’s, and then Dan and Phil would leave for the night.

“Board game?” Catherine offered.

“That would be fantastic,” Martyn said.

“I’ve missed playing games,” Cornelia said.

“I promise not to cheat,” Phil said.

“Yeah that’ll be the day,” Dan chided.

They finished and went out of the store hailing a car.

“You’re sure you’ve got enough stamina to play against the likes of us?” Catherine challenged.

“As a Lester I’m more than ready,” Martyn answered.

“Me too!” Phil piped up.

“As one of the adopted Lesters I am also quite ready. You try living with this handsome redheaded sweetheart, and not be ready for anything,” Cornelia said.

“And I guess I’m ready too,” Dan sighed.

“Really Dan? That’s all? More enthusiasm, Mate,” Martyn leaned across Phil.

“Awww hell Mate. I can beat you at any board game, any time,” Dan said.

“Wanna bet?” Martyn challenged, as they pulled alongside the flat.

“Why not?” Dan said, and the two shook hands.

“This is to be a nice game. No bloodshed. No bloodsport,” Catherine spoke up, as Cornelia unlocked the door.

“Awww man!” Martyn sighed.

“I want all of my family to be alive for tomorrow’s festivities. And it being our last day here,” Catherine added.

“Well there goes my plan of attack,” Nigel said and they all sat down.

They got out a board game and a lively session began.

“Tomorrow I want to play video-games,” Catherine said.

“Whatever Mum wants, Mum gets,” Phil said.

“I’ll destroy you tomorrow Phil,” Dan promised. “I’d like to see you try,” Phil retorted. They both brandished fists at each other.

“Boys!” Nigel sternly said. They settled just enough to finish the game.

The Next Morning:

Martyn was furiously texting and goading Dan at the breakfast table.

“Don’t bother. I’ve spoken with Phil they’re on their way over,” Cornelia made a half-assed attempt to steal the phone from her boyfriend.

But he kept it out of her reach and continued texting. Catherine and Nigel were silently drinking their coffee and nibbling their breakfasts. Finally there was a furious ping and Martyn smiled widely.

“They’re here aren’t they?” Cornelia asked as Martyn excused himself and he went to answer the door. Dan and Phil entered, and Dan gave Martyn a glare.

“What if I wanted to procrastinate today?” Dan asked.

“Well I wouldn’t let you. Mum would have made me go over to your flat to wrest you from your safe haven,” Martyn smirked.

“Shut up,” Dan said, as he made himself and Phil a mug of coffee. “I do so love the bants in the morning,” Nigel said, as he returned to the newspaper in his hand. “It wouldn’t be very fun if they were well behaved,” Catherine answered.

Later that afternoon:

“Wicked, Wicked, We’re Going To See WICKED!!!!” Phil clapped his hands. Dan reached over and stopped the handclapping. “No. Just no,” Dan said and they entered the theater. The production was fantastic.

Afterwards and the next morning:

“Can we have a sleepover?” Phil asked.

“I don’t see why not. It’s really late and Mum has to leave in the morning,” Cornelia said, as she looked over at Martyn.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Martyn shrugged.

“You’ll have to sleep in the lounge,” Cornelia said.

“Mum and Dad have the guest room,” Martyn said.

“Fine by me,” Phil yawned. It was going to be an early night anyway. They all went their separate ways and soon everyone was sleeping. Save for the two youngests. They talked all night, until they fell asleep.

Next morning….

“Rise and Shine! Mum and Dad are awake and it’s time to see them off,” Martyn said, shaking the two sleeping figures on the ground.

“Whuh?” Dan rubbed at his eyes.

“Huh? Coffee? Did I hear coffee?” Phil sat up and also rubbed his eyes.

“Coffee’s brewing,” Cornelia called from the kitchen.

“YAY!” Phil slowly padded towards the kitchen, Dan trailing behind him.

They found Nigel and Catherine at the table again, and soon there were bants, arguments and the like filling the air, and the islands in the midst of it all, calmly ignoring or breaking the worst of the bants. Then it was off to the airport where they all hugged each other until next time.

The End.

#Dan and Phil Marty and Cornelia Fanfic

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