flintloc-k

[flintloc-k]

Tell me more about "masculine attraction"? how could I as a cisHet man, pick up on it? how should I do in response?

whats your favorite way to flirt in such a way?

(I think Anon is referring to this post, where I answered another ask about ‘masculine attraction’)

Honestly the fact that you even care enough to consider it and ask to learn more means a lot!

Obviously, nobody owes anyone interest. Rejecting somebody is not a sin and more than that, someone being attracted to you in a ‘masculine way’ is totally okay to be a dealbreaker for you. Everyone has their preferences, and especially because the way someone experiences attraction is such an integral part of what a relationship with that person would look like, it makes sense that it can be a deciding factor in whether or not you can return feelings for that person.

The issue comes from a more broad, societal context, where a woman (or anyone, really) being attracted to a man in a ‘masculine way’ is usually seen as emasculating or embarrassing by others, whether or not the man in question actually feels that way about it himself.

Men are usually socialized to view ‘masculine attraction’ directed towards them as embarrassing and a threat to their dignity. So, I grew up feeling so ashamed and guilty for having any ounce of feelings for a boy because I knew it would be received as intrinsically insulting. I was afraid to be noticed noticing my crushes in school because I knew they’d be made fun of for it. Idk, like Midas or something: anything I loved too publicly, anything I touched, was hurt for it simply being so.

My protectiveness over men was obviously seen as a freakish anomaly in me— but, so much worse were the men treated who I felt protective over if anyone caught a glimpse of it.

So, if you notice a woman being a little protective over you, maybe fawning over you a bit, doing little things for you, acting any of the ways you’d usually see men acting around women they like— you don’t have to like her back if you don’t, you don’t have to be into it if you aren’t, just don’t be unkind. Just know that it has NOTHING to do with how capable you are, or how masculine you are, how serious or respectable you are, or anything else. It probably has 100% to do with her and the way she experiences attraction. She doesn’t think you’re ‘weak’— she just likes you, and her natural way of feeling that and expressing it is different, and if she’s had any of the experience most of us have… she’s probably doing her best to hide that from you unless she has a reason to know you wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

But, if you do like her and the way she likes you, and you want her to know, there’s a lot of ways you can do that.

Even if it’s more direct than you’re used to— because this dynamic isn’t the status quo or expectation, being very clear in communicating how you feel about it can actually be incredibly encouraging and helpful. When I first started dating my boyfriend he made a point to tell me things like that— “You do so many sweet things for me and it makes me feel really cared about,” “You seem to enjoy taking the lead, I really like that about you,” “I’ve always wanted a dynamic like this,” “I really love being held by you,” “Thank you for buying me flowers/getting the check/etc, that was really sweet of you,” “You make me feel safe to be more feminine around you,” “You take such good care of me.” Hearing reassurance like that from him made me feel like my attention was wanted and encouraged me to continue.

As for my favorite way to flirt— To be honest I’m a bit at a loss about that hahaha! Like when someone asks you what your favorite movie is and you forget 😂 I would say it’s pretty situational, and honestly when I don’t know a guy that well I tend to hold back a lot of my masc/dominant demeanor out of fear I’ll make him uncomfortable or something— it’s a balance I’m still working on.

I do know I always try to make him laugh, I love to see him smile. If we’re more comfortable I like to deliberately say things I know will make him blush— give him a genuine compliment or tell him he’s cute, maybe some gentle teasing, that kind of thing. Here’s a cute example from when my boyfriend and I first started dating:

Note: Whether we end up calling this experience “masculine attraction,” like, officially, can be up for discussion. I say that because while I believe most masc people experience attraction this way, I definitely know that there are exceptions. So, maybe it’s more accurate to call this “virago attraction”, or something else? (As I understand it, ‘virago’ is a broader word more synonymous with GNC, less specifically referring to masculine women and more so an umbrella term for all types of gender nonconformity in women). What do you guys think? Also, I’d love to hear others’ experiences related to this!!

[flintloc-k]

As part of her social media detox this girl on YouTube made herself do one hour of understimulating tasks every day and she just counted rice for 60 minutes straight because its no different from doomscrolling in terms of wasted time

[flintloc-k]

always so touching and vibrant when you remember people a hundred years ago had profound lives full of fun and love

[flintloc-k]

It's OK to age out of social media.

discord is broken? tumblr is a cesspit? twitter is evil? join us on bleeble! talkr is free ^w^. all your friends are moving over to deadjournal. harassmeonline is open source and the devs only killed three people. nobodytalksforum has great moderators. poob's starting up an sms app. use poob. give poob your phone number. talk to me on poob. go to poob. dive into poob. poob has me for you. poob has me for you.

[flintloc-k]

Guys look we’re famous!! 😂

[flintloc-k]

me remembering the twitter account I had when I was 15

I'd just like to take a quick second and thank the Lord above that social media didn't exist when I was in high school. Bless it.

[flintloc-k]

A corpse should be left well alone.

[flintloc-k]

Along the Coast (1958) dir. Agnès Varda

[flintloc-k]

oh my gaaah this reminds me of the time I started a new school when I was like 12 and I tried so fuckin hard ot be feminine cus everyone was mean to tomboy me at my old school, and on the VERY FIRST DAY a kid walked up to me and asked me if I was a shemale.

You can get transmisogynised without ever being a trans woman fs

The first transphobic slur I was ever called was "shemale". It was done by my former friends who were rather well aware I wasn't a trans woman because I went from identifying as a cis girl to genderfluid while they already knew me.

I think about it sometimes when people start arguing about who's allowed to identify with what slurs.

[flintloc-k]

"Why not make female heroes more feminine so girls know you don't have to be masculine to save the world" is misguided. The target audience of heroic adventure genre is not children who actually save the world in a literal sense, it's children who want a cathartic outlet for the struggles and injustice they face. And one of the most common types of injustice that many girls and children assumed to be girls are subjected to is forced feminization.

[flintloc-k]

I got an unhealthy obsession with Carl. Send help!

[flintloc-k]

Fontana di Sagalassos (160-180 d.C.) vicino ad Aglasur nella provincia di Burdur (Anatolia) Turchia

[flintloc-k]

history nerds will fr be like "my blorbo!!" and its the 3rd king of england

[flintloc-k]

Behold! Flintloctopus 2!

[flintloc-k]

We gotta stop aiming for unique and interesting baby names we gotta start naming every single infant straight-shot middle-of-the-road ass popular common unisex names like Alex and Sam. By the end of 2031 I wanna see 100% of kindergarten children named either Alex or Sam and you know what, let’s make ‘em all Smiths and Johnsons, too. In an age of digital tracking give your baby the gift of total functional anonymity within the panopticon

[flintloc-k]

Finished the sketch from some time ago….

[flintloc-k]

If you're holding back on being masc because you think you need to be a skinny white man to pass, give that the fuck up. Be big if you're big, be brown if you're brown, be assertive, take up space, be whatever the fuck kind of man/masc you are and stop waiting. Stop trying to diminish your power out of fear.