floathima

[floathima]

what’s up guys!! i’m sure you noticed i haven’t been around much lately. you might also have noticed the couple of times i’ve popped in here to do a reply or to say that i’ve been over on another blog. this, though, is my official notice that i am indeed going on hiatus.

basically the deal is that this blog’s not been as much fun for me lately. it took me a while to sort of settle on what was going on, because i still love murphy and i still have plenty of muse for him. the problem lies mostly in the fandom. lately ship wars have been way out of control, negativity is at an all time high, and it’s just generally been displeasing to look at my dash.

i could go through and unfollow some people, but i think i want to try to let things die down first because there are some people i really don’t want to unfollow. but as it stands, being on this blog hasn’t been very exciting for me. doing my drafts have felt like a chore, and that’s no fun.

i’m not sure how long i’ll be gone, and i’m also not sure that i’ll be keeping any of my threads when i come back. i might pop in and write a reply or two if i’m really feeling murphy, but i definitely won’t be hanging out on the dash any.

if you think you’ll miss me and you want to come and find me, i’ve been over at @dealkept lately! if we’re mutuals ( and you haven’t seen wonder woman or for some reason don’t want to follow my steve trevor ), then you can ask for my skype or discord!

i love you guys and i’ll miss you a bunch.

[floathima]

[floathima]

 THE BOYS IN THE TRENCHES CALL HER DOCTOR POISON

dr. isabel maru of dc’s 2017 wonder woman.  independent, selective, semi-private.  not spoiler free.   possible  triggering  material; please  read  rules  before  interacting.   penned  by  jude.

[floathima]

survivorbuiilt | SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!

@floathim [ cause u asked for this ]

There was a shift of movement as the figure slowly placed himself in front of the other, stormy hues hard and unkind. “ Are you fucking serious? ” came the snappy reply finally, giving a laugh with a sharp edge. A look of pure disbelief on the other’s face as he spread his arms and watched Murphy.  " So this is it, huh? This is as far as your SURVIVAL instincts will fucking take you? “ he stated, squatting down and resting his arms on his knees, staring at the other with pursed lips.

” You’ve got to be fucking kidding me… So what. You’re going to pull that trigger? And then what?  Leave the world behind, go to some place nice– Bull shit. There’s no place then here, Murph. Get your head out of the misery, man. You said you were a SURVIVOR, right? “ he commented, licking his lips once. ” This isn’t a survivor’s move. “ came the almost whisper, brows knitted together as he studied Murphy’s face.

A light shake of the head. ” You can’t really be considering this. Come on, John. Where’s your fighting spirit. So what if we’re down to our last box? We got water still. We got a chance still. We’ll find a way to fucking survive. Don’t we always? What good is a bullet in our head going to do? How are you going to flip the finger to all the fuckers who did you wrong if you’re DEAD? You’ll be a passing memory. Fleeting. Is that the kind of thing you want to leave behind? “

       each breath feels like he’s fighting the way his lungs want to collapse in on themselves; his body shakes with the effort it takes just to keep going, and his cheeks are slick with tears. he’d given up on taking care of himself long ago because what’s the point when no one’s ever going to see you again? he wants to SCREAM at the top of his lungs, but he’s already done that. ( he’s done that so much his throat is raw. ) now he’s silent--- eerily so--- and the only sound coming from him is the quivering breath he releases right before he tries to pull the trigger.

       of course. of course he’s back! of course he can’t just see that HE’S TIRED, that he doesn’t want to do this anymore. why can’t every part of him just agree that it’s time to give up? that it’s time to stop fighting. ( he’s so tired of fighting; why does he keep fighting? ) why is it that when he finally tries to give himself some relief, he feels so absolutely conflicted at the moment that matters the most?

       this time, he doesn’t argue back. instead, he tries to ignore the voice in his head ( it’s all in your head, you idiot, you’re losing your mind! ) and grips the pistol more tightly in his trembling hands. he can do this. he just wants to do this...

[floathima]

me @ the 100 fandom:

[floathima]

i’m too lazy to reply to these separately omg but thank you!!!! @ginatcnic @survivorbuilt y’all are wonderful <3

[floathima]

What is the root problem, Alie?

Too many people

[floathima]

soldiiermade.

         Bellamy shoots Murphy a look for talking about Raven and Monty’s injuries so casually, but he can’t really reprimand when it hadn’t been said with any sort of offending tone. Something new for Murphy. There’s a surprise in his features at the next question and he brushes it off gruffly. ❛ Since when do you give a shit? ❜

       “you know, i’d ask since when you were such a DICK, but you’ve always been one,” murphy drawls, turning his head back to look at him. when is he going to give up on being unnecessarily judgemental about me? “maybe i started caring when you were one of the other less than ten people i’m stuck with for five years.”

[floathima]

IM LATE TO THE PARTY BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I HOPE YOUR DAY WAS FAB !!!!

!!!!!!! thank you friend!!! i slept a bunch so i am a happy bean

[floathima]

OHMYGODHOWDIDIMISSTHIS?! YOU'RE AMAZING ! I HOPE THAT YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS ONE TO REMEMBER. C:!!!!

!! ahh thank you!!! it was my first saturday off in AGES so!! i’d call that a win!

[floathima]

noukru | COSTIA.

floathim replied to your photo

fklmsklf om g

i know you deleted my housewives of beverly hills you dirty cheater

        “yeah, that’s because it’s GARBAGE.”

[floathima]

I'M LATE BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU CHARLES, YOU'RE SUCH AN AMAZING WRITER AND I'M HAPPY TO BE MUTUALS <3 HOPE IT WAS GREAT.

!! !!  ! !  tha NK YOU omg you’re wonderful and i love your riley so much ; u ;

[floathima]

mutuals only; please tell me your username!!!

[floathima]

fair warning!! i had to delete a good chunk of my drafts. still couldn’t bring myself quite yet to get rid of all of them and completely start over, but i think part of the problem with motivating myself to write over here was that i’ve been so busy and all of my threads were either not plotted or SO LONG. so i’m going to try to do the few that i’ve kept and maybe once i’ve caught up i’ll reblog a meme or something!!!

if you wanna chat with me or send me asks or something though pls do bc i still am here for my trash son, i’m just busy. ; u ;

[floathima]

HAPPY DAY OF BIRTH FUCKER!

thank you omg

i got a headache around three and then slept until ten and now it’s almost one am so it isn’t my birthday anymore but ; u ; apparently i really needed the sleep so it’s all good

[floathima]

fishfaced | PONYO.

                “ these are MY braids.  you gave them to me, “ ponyo informs him, huffing softly as though the very implication that something on her head could belong to someone else is enough to stress her out.  in an effort to educate her ill-informed friend, she grasps a lock of his hair and twists it into an ugly knot – a braid just for him!

                                    “ now you have one! “

       “yeah, but i made--- hey!” murphy allows his head to be snatched down, but it doesn’t stop him from having to bite his tongue. he flinches once or twice at the way her little chubby fingers tug at his hair, but once she’s finished, he is evidently content enough to leave it. “yeah, and you made it.”

[floathima]

how did john view bellamy pre "murphy's law" vs durring the episode and thne post.

oh man lemme tell you

before murphy’s law, murphy saw bellamy as his leader— he was pretty content to listen to him, to do what he wanted, because it gave him power over the rest of the 100. sure, he had to listen to bellamy, but no one would have listened to just him. bellamy’s influence behind his actions, though, is what gave him the control he craved. he couldn’t control anything that happened to him or his family on the ark, but down here he could control what 99 other kids were doing, and he was very driven by that.

i think his craving for power made him very weak to bellamy’s influence, but i also think that bellamy knew all the right words to say, that bellamy was against everything murphy was against, that he was strong and capable and charming, and that murphy didn’t mind listening to him because their views aligned and bellamy made it so easy to be on his side.

the way i play murphy, too, is that he had a crush on bellamy. a pretty unhealthy, dependent sort of crush— one where he would have done what bellamy told him pretty much no matter what it meant, one where he was determined to have his attention and do right by him— and that was what made murphy’s law so much harder. because he thought he was important to bellamy, that bellamy might have liked him, too, bc he put him above everyone else, and he was wrong. all it took was for the people BENEATH them to turn against him, and bellamy turned on him, too.

the way he sees it, bellamy had the power to stop him, and that evidently he meant so little to him that he didn’t.

so, post murphy’s law, bellamy’s influence over murphy has melted away. the spell has worn off, so to speak, and so when bellamy gives murphy an order, murphy no longer feels obligated to obey him. in fact, when he gives him an order, murphy makes a snide comment about him being the boss and then knocks him out. ( which i’m super proud of him for, by the way. )

then bellamy BEATS THE HELL OUT OF HIM AND BANISHES HIM, and murphy loses any respect he once had for bellamy. because sure, assuming that he killed wells and trying to hang him was bad enough, but even once he knew he wasn’t guilty, even once he knew that clarke had wrongly accused him, he was left out to die as if he really was the criminal they’d made him out to be ( as if they weren’t all criminals ). bellamy’s completely dropped and become the top of murphy’s shit list at this point, and he couldn’t care less what happens to him.

he tries to kill bellamy because he’s very revenge driven, because he thinks that if someone tries to kill you, then they deserve the same thing right back. he tries to kill him because he doesn’t care anymore about what he felt for bellamy before because bellamy betrayed him, because bellamy is the reason he was tortured and used as a biological weapon. all he cares about is how much bellamy hurt him, and how much he can hurt him back.

this obviously changes over time— he fails at the revenge plot, winds up working with bellamy more than he wants to, and they grow— but for a long time, he’s really not happy with bellamy and he really couldn’t care less what happens to him. now that they’ve had time, he cares more. he knows they’ve all made decisions that they’d rather not, and he doesn’t want to kill bellamy anymore. i’m not 100% sure bellamy’s completely forgiven, but i think they’re on the way to being actual friends again ( as long as bellamy can get over the things he thinks about murphy being selfish and horrible ).