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Delusion

How long can I lay here with you in this sweet delusion where you are happy to be lying there with me. How long can I convince myself these are the still the days that you could only get yourself to sleep peacefully if I was there with you? Oh how I wish I could turn back the world.

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I’m spiraling

Idk what to say. I’m low I’m so low. I’m zoning out all the time to avoid being present in my reality. I know what’s causing that so no need to write it down here

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I just need someone to talk to

About so much

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If I keep looking at the stars then eventually God will send me something. Idk what it’ll be but he’s always lookin out for me so as long as I take care of myself I’m set, I’ll know what to do and it’ll all make sense

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Solid reminders

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Personally not gonna listen to it but maybe if I reblog enough I’ll start to believe it

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Update

I wrote a poem about how I miss you and all of what coulda been. I can’t post it on an account but still.

If you’re reading this I miss you. I really wish things were different and I wish that I could let go as easily as you can so it wouldn’t hurt so much. But I guess that’s just life.

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IMG_2800 by AncientForests

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It’s strange being home now. Nothing to do and knowing you’re nearby but not seeing you. I guess if I spend the day numb and have something to drink tonight then I won’t be too sad

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I guess this is my diary now

Anyway, is it selfish to go to college when your parents can’t afford their own house? I just can’t decide and move in day is so soon

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Too bad it wasn’t meant to be apparently

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Is it so much to ask to be genuinely loved

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I won’t keep track of days, it’ll just make me sad looking back. But boy oh boy when it rains it pours

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Loneliness - WTF fun fact

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Day 1

Woke up at 7. Couldn’t stop thinking of you. I couldn’t speak or move for over an hour all I could do was recall it all. It’s now 8:07 as I write this after I got the will power to at least grab my phone