flock-of-paper-birds

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biggest L i've had to take from morning people is that the hours between 5 - 9 am really do have 7x as much time in them than the ones between 9 pm - 1 am and you can get your whole day's worth of shit done by noon

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beastie boys music is funny as hell one of them will say a line and then the other two will say a completely unrelated line

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had a fun experience on the subway the other day

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god I could be so wealthy if I had no ethics. that's so fucking frustrating. I'm living paycheck to paycheck because I'm not grifting vulnerable idiots on TikTok. I feel like I have the ability to very easily scam people. I could make a killing with AI. but god. I have morals and ethics and so I get to be poor as shit. I hate this fucking world

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Superman desperately scanning the street during a fight to find the most morally acceptable car to throw at his opponent, knowing that not everybody has insurance, and loss of transportation can ruin a life -

A wave of incredible relief washes over him as he spots the hard geometric lines and silver paintless sheen of a Cybertruck.

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Watching Jurassic Park and I have Opinions on this place as a zoo. Feeding the predators live prey?? There's other ways to provide enrichment! Also that enclosure is way too small for multiple large animals like that! Electric fences? Ha! Electric fences won't stop a fucking goat! Where's the zoo experts? Who designed these enclosures?? Were all zoos this shitty in the 90s???

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knuckle tattoos that say CRAB MEAT

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finished toadbert's halloween costume

little wizard

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the colors of the sunrise

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"Let brownies cool completely" I.... don't think I will

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spot the difference, cunty cardinal edition

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I could never own a parrot. They are splendid and delightful joyful creatures but I could not match their fucking whimsy. If I woke up at 4:45 am on a tuesday to the sound of some gleeful feather-cloaked varmint doing aerial somersaults all over the house while singing the world's most high-pitched whistle nightcore one-man a capella cover of Funkytown, I'd eat it.

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That is not what i googled

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There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

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“paid subscription with ads” is fucking crazy. if you pay for a service and then get served an ad on said service you should be allowed to pipe bomb its executive at no legal risk