floweringthewords

[floweringthewords]

My Turn.

I never posted this. Oops. I guess this is forever is still on this website lol

The stinging on my backside was unreal. Even on my stomach, I could feel the aching of my ass while my throat felt like I’d swallowed a gallon of shards. The crisp breeze coming in through an open window hits my bare back, the sheets hanging off the bed and only semi covering my waist and calf. In short, I was fucking wrecked.

And so was the room. You could tell by the obviously still unmade bed and discarded clothes scattered on various pieces of furniture (Were those my panties hanging on the fucking headboard?), and the mattress was just slightly off centered from where it used to be.

I lift my head off the pillow halfheartedly and barely fucking awake my hair a big tumbleweed hanging off my head. I manage to catch up a glance of the digital clock on the nightstand. It was just past 1 in the afternoon. Fuck.

There’s a faint sound of a gentle sip, coming from no other than John standing in the corner of the room, leaning against the dresser with a mug in his hand and smirk on his face. His hair was as bad as mine, dirty but slyly messy to give him that edgy “yeah I fucked you all night and you loved every second” look.

Though to someone that had just woken up and had bruises up to her fucking neck that would last a week, it was not a welcoming sight.

Okay, maybe the sweatpants low on his hips made it a bit welcoming.

“Mornin’, Amelia,” he croos, in that really scratchy rough voice and fuck that was not going to help with the whole being irritated at being sore thing.

“What are you doing standing there like a creep?” I grumble over my shoulder, resting down again on the pillow.

There’s this slight smirk playing at the corner of his lips, his perfect teeth peaking through to give that slanted grin. “Assessing my work.”

“You mean assessing the damage,” I huff, throwing the pillow over my head. “Perv-“

He chuckles and I feel the bed shift a moment later, his ears at my shoulder, lips soft and warm like a gentle caress in the summer, careful to not be too heavy. It was light like a passing breeze and my eyes shutter close from the comfort.

As soon as it started, the moment was over. I can feel the scruff of his chin resting near my neck and the feel of his fingers moving to meet my hips. “You gonna be able to sit in daddy’s lap, sweetheart?”

My eyes snap open as I shoot him a glare for the books. “Go sit in Satan’s lap, you fucker.”

He throws back a laugh, amused with the outburst and very much laughing at my pain. I sit up and he takes the chance to lift me gently and pull me towards him, the movement making me wince. He brushes his mouth to my shoulder again. “Was I too much last night?”

I pause and take a moment to glance around the room, letting him answer that for himself. Flipping my head back to look at him, I blink knowingly.

John sighs, burrowing his face in my neck before kissing it softly. “I missed you, okay?”

I soften a bit at that and shrug, feeling just how much my bones ached. “It’s okay. I did too.”

He gnaws on his thin lip and eyes me with those emerald greens, grasping my chin softly to assess my jaw. His face scrunches up lightly. “Jesus.”

I push his hand away, rolling my eyes in his reaction to the hickies. “Yes, surprise, you made those. Would you like to see my left buttcheek?”

Despite the smile playing on his lips, he sighs. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s fine.”

He leans back against the headboard, plucking my panties from the corner and tossing them on the ground. “Do you want me to ice your ass?”

I smirk as I rest against his chest. “Oh you’d like that, wouldn’t you.”

John presses his lips to my forehead before draping an arm around me. It eventually slides down to rest lightly on the area of wreckage. It had his hand marks and bruises, complimentary of his sharp hip bones, not to mention a few hickies and teeth marks. Which, by the way, fucking ow.

He caters to me after that, which I don’t complain about. His hands were soft and gentle when they ran over my spine and bum. We hardly left the bed, but when we did, he was the one to carry me with him. The hard part was trying to leave. When I tried to pee he refused to let me go, despite my insistence. He pouts and wraps his arms around my waist from behind, shooting that puppy dog look up at me from my shoulder.

“But I need to pee.”

“But-“

“John.”

“Noooo.”

“So you’re saying you want me to pee all over you? That’s a new one.”

He sighs. “Fiiiiine.”

It was painful getting up. It was even more painful trying to sit. By the time I walked back out of the bathroom, I all but whined, trying not to cry. “That was a bad idea.”

He half smiles as he helps me sit back onto the cushions of the couch and cups my face closer. “I really fucked you up, huh?”

I hum as he massages the back of my thigh. “A little. But I enjoyed all of it.”

Not to mention, he’d get his turn with time.

~

A few days go by. He slaps my ass passing me in the kitchen. I all but fucking yelp. It doesn’t go well for him.

~

a week later

Well, at least the hickies were fading out.

~

I was finally healed for the majority part and back to my active and sore-ass-free life. My energy and good mood was through the roof on this particular day, and I knew it was time for my payback. From the moment John walked through the door, I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back.

Shrugging off his leather jacket and running a hand through his hair, he shoots me a relatively innocent smile, no idea what he had coming to him. “Hey, darlin’.”

I don’t give him any other type of chance to respond, instead striding up to him and crashing my mouth to his. It takes him way off guard, his hands frozen in midair to my waist. Licking my tongue into his mouth, I hear him groan.

“It’s your turn,” I hum simply, and the realization dawns on his face.

He wasn’t getting out of this one.

I tug on his shirt and push it up his lean stomach, a groan escaping him. I notice him actually cower as if I was about to bring out chains and a whip. And – while the idea is entertaining – I simply laugh and bring my lips to his neck.

“A-Amelia,” he mumbles, resting his hands on my back. I feel them slide up slowly, holding firmly, assessing control. For a moment I slip, too absorbed in his gentle but dominant touch. His gaze – fuck, his gaze – pierces right through me. A feint of a smile teases his lips as he kisses down my neck. There’s a tingling and a buzz that makes its way down all the way to my toes. It seeps through me like hot lava, making my head tip back as I let out a shaky breath.

But then I hear his soft moan, and like a splitting crack in a silent room, I push him away, trying to remember my mission.

John lets me shove him over the edge of the couch, his face of surprise glinting up at me. It was a mix of fear and anticipation. He licks his lips slowly, as if testing me. “What’re you gonna do to me, sweetheart?”

With a mischievous grin and a slow crawl over to him, I mirror his words from last night: “Whatever the fuck I want.”

He groans loudly when I reach for the waistline of his jeans and slowly begin to unbutton them. I could already feel the prominent bulge begging to be touched but also trying not to get any harder. John knew that I was worse than him when he was in the mood; I was insatiable and I as going to make damn sure he felt the best of it.

Or worst, depending how you look at it.

My lips brush against his waist once I’ve removed his shirt, kissing a slow and torturous trail down his happy trail. I begin to unbutton his jeans as slowly as possible. I wanted him aching and if I knew John, there was nothing worse to him than teasing and prolonging the torture.

He lets out a shaky breath when I start to inch them down his knees, my mouth brushing against his thighs and making his hips buck. I smirk and rake my nails up and down his thighs, knowing what a sensitive spot that was. He merely clenches his jaw and swallows roughly, looking absolutely fucking wrecked before I could even do any real damage.

It’s when my lips wrap around him that he’s really started to make his low sounds. His moans were guttural and soft, as if he couldn’t decide if he should be grateful or surprised. He tips his head back and lets his long legs splay across the couch, the one on the edge dangling off while he crooks the other slightly at the knee. I get comfy between them, laying on my stomach but being sure to give him a view.

“So big and hard for me,” I murmur, just because I knew it would go straight to his cock. I was right, feeling it twitch in my hand the moment the words left my mouth. I shoot him a crooked smile before stroking him slowly, running my tongue up the side and observing the way he caught his bottom lip between his teeth, arms limp at his sides as he struggles, not knowing what to do with himself.

I hum and take that moment to suck lightly on the tip, feeling the bead of wetness on my tongue. He gasps sharply and curses under his breath while his hand grips the edge of the couch.

“Wouldn’t you rather be using those hands on me?” I ask provocatively as I massage his length. “You know I don’t mind.”

Like a man caving in from cold turkey, his hand dives into my hair with a soft groan when I take him back into my mouth. “Christ,” he breathes, looking at the ceiling. I don’t take my eyes off of him, hungry to watch him fall apart. And more than once.

Moan after moan tumbles out of him, and I could feel my mouth salivating from the sounds, as well as the taste. His hand turns into a fist in my hair, body tensing with his hips slightly bucking. He grunts and hisses, looking down at me with such dark but hazy eyes that I knew he was close.

“F-Fuck, Amelia,” he moans, his thighs drawing up and breath getting more ragged. I moan around him, knowing that it would be his tipping point.

I feel him spill onto my tongue before he even cries out, hips bucking and limbs shaking before he melts into the cushions altogether. I don’t let him fall from my mouth; instead, I lick up the come leaking down the side of his cock, gathering every last drop and kissing along his waist before swirling my tongue around the head.

“Holy fuck,” he croaks, sitting up weakly. “A-Amy, I don’t think that’s-“

“Shut up, O’ Callaghan,” I growl. He instantly shuts his trap and lays back down, knowing he owed me this. I wouldn’t stop until he was a groaning trembling mess.

“Oh, baby,” he moans, and I feel the warmth pass right through me, making me moan and suck harder. Much harder. He grunts as I hollow my cheeks, staring up his body and meeting his dark gaze. His pupils were all but blown, and the green in his eyes never looked darker. It made a thousand dirty nicknames fall from my lips, made me want to moan his name until he couldn’t take it-

And what a brilliant idea.

I hum against him before pulling away and dragging my lips against his throbbing length, the under vein slowly beginning to pulse. “Johnny,” I whimper and wiggle my hips as my feeble fingers stay wrapped around him. “Your cock tastes so good.”

His eyes go even wider. He’s never heard me do the full dirty talk, and he looked like a man who knew he was about to meet his death, was ready for it.

Smirking, I test his limits and kiss the tip of his cock. “You like that, daddy?”

His head smacks back against the arm rest, sounding with a hard thump, but that doesn’t stop him from letting out a loud groan. “Fuck, fuck. I love it, baby.”

“Yeah?” I pout and swirl the tip against my lips. I coax him further, asking him if he wanted me to suck, only to get a short breathy “Yeah” in response. I take him as far as my mouth could take him, getting a higher pitched moan as a reward.

He was on overload; I could tell by the look on his face and the way his body spasms. His loud gasps were broken by his moans, head back with his jaw slack and eyes rolling. He slips a hand through my hair, thighs trembling as I lick around him. Each breath turned more shallow and fuck I couldn’t think of anything hotter than how he bit down on his lip and let it pop back as he released it from his teeth. His eyebrows furrow and I take advantage of his vulnerability to drag my nails lightly down his stomach, feeling the way it clenches. It was surely in knots with the tension, wanting to lose it but not wanting the pleasure to end.  

I pull away with a dirty pop, stroking him with both my hands as I stare at him hungrily. I wanted to watch him fall apart laying there, helpless.

“Shit, Amelia,” he pants, gripping my hair tighter. “B-Baby, I’m gonna-ah, uhn-“

I hum and squeeze him firmer as I go faster. “Come for me, baby.”

He curses to himself for a moment and gasps, his body tightening before going limp, his hands falling from my head as he lays there like some wasted ragdoll.

I merely giggle. “I hope you don’t think I’m done.”

~

The poor thing could only take so much. We had moved to the bed just to give him a chance to regain his strength, but all it took was me getting on top of him and riding him until he was too out of breath to speak.

He sighs and wipes a bit of sweat from his forehead, brushing his hair back, the sheets looking well worn and wrinkled underneath him. His head raises from the pillow and falls back again. “I can’t-I can’t…H-How do I…this much seed, fuck.”

I laugh, bending down to kiss his cheek. I’m pretty sure I feel him flinch. “How do you feel?”

“I feel lightheaded.”

Giving him a soft smirk, I hop off to give his body a break. With his sharp hipbones, I’d probably be the one ending up with more bruises. But I was more than okay with it knowing that I was able to blow his mind to the point of oblivion.

John looks over at me after he’s gathered his thoughts and chuckles.  “I mean, I know you mean it to be torture, but it’s so good, but it’s also so much, I-“ He shakes his head in disbelief. “I can’t even describe.”

I laugh. “That’s kinda what I was aiming for.”

With a lazy, exhausted but satisfied smile, he mutters, “Mission accomplished.”

[floweringthewords]

Hey, C! I don't have a tumblr anymore, but I'm still send you anony asks sometimes lol I am writing a new story about John on my mibba account called Soulmates! It would mean a lot if you checked it out and said what you think. Thank you 💕

Ahhh! Hello! I havent been on mibba in forever lol it'll be refreshing to read some new content thats not my own 💖 I'll be glad to read some of your stuff, im gonna be off of school mostly thurs and friday so I'm gonna try to get to you by then!

[floweringthewords]

Untitled pt. 3 - Daily Grind

Sleep came slowly, like a dizzy haze. First it was nothingness, sweet as any dream. But then the reoccurrence came into focus, fading in from the black to the white of morning light, waking up but still in within a dream. It was just the same as I woke up every morning. The movie began to play out with a faint golden silhouette, gold blonde hair framing her face. Her delicate hands run through them as she stretches. I remember thinking her body had more curves than the Nile river. Every time, I could never believe I got to wake up to that each day. A smile graces her lips, half of her face cloaked by the white light. She leans down and presses her mouth to mine. My arms slip around her like a blanket, except she was the one to give me warmth. I run the back of my hand against her smooth back, her skin smoother than velvet. I was always comforted most when I had her in my embrace. She was my drug and my medicine. She was twice the dosage. “Morning,” she hums, her face in my neck. My mouth opens to respond but no sound comes out as I speak. She frowns. “Everything okay?” I swallow and try again, cupping her cheek. Her eyes glisten softly, grinning at me. She rolls and climbs on top of me. “C’mon, speak up. Life gave you a good mouth for a reason.” She smirks before giggling and climbs off. I reach for my throat, trying to cough. I could feel my voice working, but it was like I was mute. Neither of us could hear me and I could feel my panic rising. Ava stands from the bed, staring out the window. “Alright, you coming with, boss?” I get up and reach for her, but my hand goes through her like fog. My fingers felt frail without being able to feel her, and I grasp harder, my hand closing in a fist in hopes that she would become solid. The light gets brighter, the white too much to face. I squint, holding my arm above my eyes to block it off. I try to look at her, but she only melted into the light, walking further as she waited for me to follow, not even looking behind, confident I was already following. The light starts to scorch my skin, then my eyes, and I attempt a scream, the white turning to fire and pouring itself down my throat until the sound finally rips through, her name bellowing out in a piercing, haunting echo.

[floweringthewords]

I'm sooo excited blind is back! It's sooo good!!

Wooo! It's here to stay slow as it may be haha~C

[floweringthewords]

OMG!!! I missed Blind. It’s definitely better to have a new start than an indefinite end. I’m glad the baby is okay, girl, you got me worried.

Lol sorry i kept you all waiting! Life's been busy with work and school, on top of working on myself. But Blind is definitely something everyone seems dedicated to so if anything it's the majority of what will be posted~C

[floweringthewords]

Blind: Nineteen.

This literally took a lifetime and a day to upload but it’s been done for months and I just never got to it. SORRY but it’s here yaaaay surprise

Matty’s POV

It was fifteen minutes later that I heard him rush in, calling out to see if I was okay. He ran into the room the same way he had before at the clinic when he was almost too late. I had heard the boy’s instrument’s in the background over the phone, so I knew they had to have been having practice at Tim’s. It took well over fifteen minutes to drive from there to my house on any other day. I could only imagine how many red lights he ran and potential tickets he’d be receiving. John found me kneeling in the bathtub trying to hold myself up as I reached for a bathrobe. He helped me stand to get into it, before quickly grabbing me some clothes and shoes before getting me down the stairs and out to his car. The pain had only dulled an eighth from earlier, and it was still hard to move or sit or stand upright. The pressure in my waist still made it hard to breathe. As much as it hurt, it’s not what worried me. This hadn’t happened before and I had no idea what this meant for the baby. There was only a month left. What if something was wrong? What if I was going into early labor? We arrive at the emergency room and they attend to us quickly and John follows them into my room, arguing and insisting that he wasn’t going to leave. “Do you see the condition she’s in?! I need to be with her!” “Sir, we need you to leave-“ “Bullshit! That’s my baby!” My heart pangs aside the pain as I ponder over whether he meant me or the baby. I call out shakily. “John, it’s fine-” He gives me a sad, frightful look. “Matt.” Before he could struggle any further, they wheel me away and I watch as he gets smaller in the distance, until the doors swing back closed, leaving him on the other side. It spoke volumes for how distant we’ve been the last few months. After multiple tests and a double dozen of questions, they deem the pain has dulled and in no need for morphine, consulting me that it’s not a completely safe narcotic when pregnant. I nod and accept their decision. I finish filling out some paperwork and the nurse with a sweet scent brings me a boxed juice, telling me the doctor would be in with the diagnosis soon. “Would you like your husband to come in and see you?” I blush as I struggle to sit up, causing her instantly to adjust my bed and fluff my pillow. She was very attentive and her hair smelled like citrus and honey. “Oh, h-he’s n…um.” I stop myself short, realizing how pointless it is to try and explain myself to a stranger. It doesn’t matter anyway, right?” “Please,” I mumble. I can hear her soft hum, the sheets shifting as she moves away from the bed. “I’ll be right back.” Thanking her, I focus on the sound of her footsteps fade, finding it thankfully distracting from the situation. I fiddle with my hands, still able to feel the slight dips and wrinkles on my fingers from my bath. Everything felt like it had moved in slow motion, when really it couldn’t have been more than an hour since John had raced me here. My lips unexpectedly begins to quiver as I rest my hands protectively over my stomach. Rushed sounds pull me from my thoughts, and I’m graced by the feel of calloused, long fingers over mine, cupping them firmly. “Matilda, a-are you okay?” I give the best smile I could manage. “John.” He sighs and moves closer, feeling him cup my head and pull it into his chest. “How are you? Does it still hurt?” I shrug as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “It’s not crippling,” I mutter. Sarcastically, I add, “When it first hit me, for a second I thought I could see again-“ “Matilda, that’s not fucking funny.” I frown at his harshness. “I’m just trying to make myself feel better.” He sighs again and pulls away briefly – I assume to rub his eyes or neck – before taking my hands again in both of his. “I-I know. I’m sorry. I was just so scared. I was at practice with the guys and – God, you have no idea everything running through my head when I picked up the phone. You’ve no idea what you sounded like…” His voice cracks and I feel his thumb over my knuckles, causing my eyelids to close shamelessly. It was the exact reassurance and comfort I needed right now. John takes note of this and continues to caress my hands softly, staying close but not saying a word. The silence feels…normal. It reminded me of the mornings in bed when we were both still waking up and I could feel his skin against mine, when I could trace the lines and bumps on his nose and follow the curve of his jaw and brush his eyelashes and know they were looking at me right through them. The memory hits me hard and I realize just how much I miss him. Out of all the things that could have brought us together, it’s something grave and dire. My eyes water as I clutch his wrist. “This is our child. John, what if he’s not okay? What if-wh-what if-“ “Matt, baby, I’m begging you please don’t.” His voice is so definitive and stern that there was no room to argue – there would be no speculating if the baby was going to be fine. It would be fine and that was it. But the plea still made his fear obvious. He was as scared as I was. I blink back the tears, waiting impatiently. I needed some kind of answers. I just wanted to know that I-we’d be okay. The nurse returns a moment later, joined by another pair of footsteps. The doctor introduces himself and reads off results from the tests. “Your vitals are all well, and the x-rays we took of your spine don’t show anything abnormal. Now, we’re thinking the pain that you felt was just a combination of change in posture and stress. It’s very common for women to have symptoms of back pain during their pregnancy, but that’s just a result of your body preparing itself.” He makes his way over to me, resting his hand on my shoulder. “I do, however, want to take an ultrasound to be absolutely sure this wasn’t a result of any kind of internal problem. I’m sure you’d feel better knowing that it didn’t affect the baby in any way, too.” I nod gratefully and the nurse instructs me to lay back and raise my nightgown. I bring the sheets up to my hips shyly before doing as she says, feeling John’s hand guiding me gently. It’s a feeling I didn’t think I’d needed or missed at all the other appointments I’ve had. The doctor wheels over a machine and John stands to my left as he keeps holding my hand. It’s almost as if he refused to let go now that he had a hold of it. “Alright, Matilda,” the doctor soothes, “I’m going to apply the jelly and you’re going to feel some pressure on your abdomen; nothing unusual for you, I’m sure,” he adds with a chuckle. I take a deep breath as I feel the cold wand on my belly. I could hear the beeps of the monitor and the rhythmic clicking, along with the familiar wet static. He hums and fiddles around for a moment in his chair, clicking some keys and moving again. I hear John suck in a breath and I turn my head, my heart dropping to my stomach. “What is it?” “There we are,” the doctor says, almost with a smile in his voice. “Now if I could just get a good catch of this heartbeat…ah ha!” I listen closely to the steady thump. It was louder than before, making me feel like I could almost feel it resonating through my bones. I grip John’s hands tighter as I sniff. “That’s…that’s ours.” “She…it’s so big.” He starts to laugh softly, resting his chin atop our hands. I feel his lips pressing into my knuckles. “I can definitely say everything is going just fine. It’s not abnormal for back pains to worsen the closer you are to labor, as well. Heating pads usually work with lower back. I recommend lots of rest, but try to stay active in the day. If you experience pains as intense as tonight though, I would definitely say to keep your physician on speed dial.” I nod as he speaks, but I couldn’t focus on any of it. “What does…what do you see?” I whisper to John, eager as I could only imagine the picture on the screen. “It’s beautiful, darlin’. Our baby’s safe and…is that his foot right there? He’s all curled up.” “That’s right. This right here…” I feel the doctor roll away slightly. “…Is the umbilical cord.” He chuckles, speaking in a gentle voice. “Oh, look at that. It looks just like a peanut.” I laugh before suddenly feeling the jut in my belly. It was nothing I hadn’t felt before, but it felt like a very defined, and determined signal. I press my hand against my side with wide eyes. “H..The baby just kicked.” “Oh, he’s feeling lively,” the doctor muses, the nurse giving a soft chuckle. “See? He or she’s not even affected.” I take John’s hands without a second thought and hold it to where I felt it. We wait for a moment. “I’m not feeling anything-” he mumbles, though just a second after the last word escapes his mouth, the silent kick bounces against his palm. I squeeze his hand as I wish with every bit of my being that I could see the look on his face. “He heard you,” I tell him, grinning helplessly. John exhales and rests both his hand over my stomach. “Well, we’ll let you two be alone – would you like a print out of this?” “Yes,” John responds without another moment. “Alright. Ms. Avery here will be back with the release paperwork and to take out your IV.” I raise my head. “I can go home tonight?” “Yes, ma’am. And keep a close watch on that labor countdown calendar. You’re closer than you think.” Nodding, I thank the doctor and the nurse before waiting for John to speak. But he’s completely trained on my stomach. I can’t help but laugh at his stillness, but also out of pure relief. “I can’t believe it…they’re okay.” “I told you,” he mutters and I could hear that familiar smirk. I reach out to trace it out of habit, and one of his hands quickly moves to cup it gently, resting his cheek in my palm. He breathes in deeply and I could feel a light wetness on my wrist. “I won’t let you out of my sight now,” he whispers. “I’m sorry, but I won’t.” I don’t argue with him. A few minutes later, the nurse brings me back my clothes and she removes my IV before letting me get dressed. John doesn’t insist on helping me, which I’m both surprised and appreciative of. When I step back into the room, John clears his throat. “I, uh, I kinda texted Nina earlier that I was here with you at the hospital and now she wont stop yelling at me. I told her I would keep her updated but I haven’t messaged her back.” “What did you tell her?” “That I had to rush you here because of something with the baby.” He hands me my phone as Siri reads out her string of texts to me in her robotic voice. “Ok please let me know” “John? What’s going on?” “Is she okay? Be sure to call me back” “What hospital is it?” “Why aren’t you answering” “JOHN WHAT THE HELL” “DAMMIT JOHN I SWEAR TO GOD YOU’RE THE NEXT ONE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL” I can’t help but burst out into laughter, my face surely turning red at the humor of it. I could feel her rage but through the form of my pocket mobile assistant. It even read out ‘angry face’ emoji. John chuckles. “Yeah, I think you’re gonna need to call her so she knows you’re alive.” I shake my head giggling, involuntarily leaning against him. He stays frozen for a moment, before leaning down and pressing his lips to my hair. “Let’s take you home.” ~ After a longer ride back, I felt the exhaustion of the night sink in. John had to jostle me awake, and even still he opened my door and carried me up the steps. I didn’t argue it because for one, I couldn’t bring my muscles to move, but I also couldn’t bring myself to move my face out of his chest. He places me on my feet in the living room but I stay hanging onto him. His arms were by my hips, the baby bump keeping a comfortable distance between us. “I never thought I’d be here again,” he murmurs. “In my house? Yeah, me either.” I feel his shaking his head in disagreement. “Not the place. Here.” His fingers lightly graze my arms, tracing upwards and making me shiver. “I’m going to sleep,” I whisper. I didn’t think John could bring himself to leave and I couldn’t bring myself to ask him to, so I decide that should be his open invitation to stay. “I’ll stay close,” he tells me. “To monitor and stuff.” I’m about to open my mouth when my stomach growls profoundly. I can almost feel his lips twitching under my fingertips. “Hungry?” I pat my stomach and chuckle. “Maybe I’ll just grab a snack.” “I got it,” he assures me. “You go lay down and relax.” I nod, not arguing with him this time that he tried to help me. I forgot how used to having him around I was. I think I slightly missed getting mad at him for being overly protective or running in front of me to remove a piece of clothing on the floor so I wouldn’t trip. I missed the sound of him closing all the cabinets to be sure I wouldn’t hit my head. More than that, I missed the voice message he’d send me through text when I was home just to tell me something dumb. I missed him repeatedly trying to sneak up on me to drop a blanket on me and constantly failing. Maybe we could have all that again. Maybe this was our chance to start over. With a small flutter in my stomach, I decide it’s better to have a new start than an indefinite end.

[floweringthewords]

Do you know any blogs that write Derek from State Champs smut?

Damn no i dont but let me know if you end up finding any

[floweringthewords]

Love your writing!

Thank you love :)~C

[floweringthewords]

I have a surprise for you all in the works.....I think you'll be happy about this one and y'all better appreciate it lol ~C

[floweringthewords]

Young Summer Soul.

This is kind of all over the place and not what I initially set out to write, but I hope it’s still somewhat enjoyable

~C

It was just peaking over 109 degrees Fahrenheit outside. It also couldn’t be a more convenient time for the power in the whole Phoenix area to go out. Typically, I wouldn’t be caught complaining about a little heat. I mean, I lived in this state and felt it nearly year round, or at least whenever I was home. There was rarely a time when a little sun bothered me.

[floweringthewords]

Lost Love.

VOILA

~C

I went into work frustrated and left feeling the same. Even my friend Helen asked if I was okay. I wanted to tell her that no, I was not okay, because somewhere out there this dude is singing about an almost identical situation to mine and I have had zero luck finding out who he is or looking up the song because it’s been so busy, and this was going to bother me until I went the fuck home and either confirmed or denied this so I could feel better. Once the work day was done, I stop by the Starbucks across the street for a bagel and some coffee to lift my spirits. A part of me was convinced the song was following me; it played once at work and I thought it might start playing as soon as I entered. I open google while I waited in line, searching Lost Love and getting mixed results, mostly just a bunch of corny quotes and articles. I attach a lyrics that I remembered from the song vaguely, hoping there would be some kind of match. The first video to pop up directed me to Youtube and a band’s channel called the Maine. The Maine? I nervously press play, the sound of waves growing until the image fades in. A man sat by the ocean with his arms resting on his knees. The camera was focused on his long fingers for a moment, then another shot of tattoos on his arm, before finally panning up to his thin lips and- Oh my God. I pause the video to process his features. There was no mistaking that face or those hazel green eyes and long lashes; the strong jaw and big nose. No doubt left that it was him. Shocked, I hardly hear when I’m called next in line, walking up frazzled and stammering as I give my order. I leave my phone at my side, leaning against the wall near the desk while I try to understand. How the hell did I not know? I never heard from him after he dropped out. He left unexpectedly after the semester was over. No explanation, no apology, just vanished. I never knew he’d dropped out and gone to make music for a living. The barista calls my order and I quickly take it before rushing back to my car. I resume the video, watching his solemn expression as his eyes remain on the water. “John!” a voice calls out his name, and a small separate person in me does a tiny flip inside my stomach. He turns, saying he’d be right there as the camera turns to a group banded around a campfire but I already longed to see his face. He’d changed so much but he was still the same. And he’d gotten so handsome. The next scene shows him staring at his phone and opening his music I gape as he scrolls to Bittersweet Symphony and presses play. Rising to his feet, he walks toward the water and takes a deep breath, the wind ruffling his hair. “I’ll swim until I wash up to shore to you if I have to,” he whispers and I feel my pulse quicken as he submerges slowly into the water, showing a shot of his body down below. “What the fuck,” I mutter, taking it all in. Was this him calling out to me? It felt like too much of a coincidence and too specific a message for this to be about anybody. But I just… I didn’t understand. He was never in love with me. The sound of the song is muffled as his arms make long strokes, his loose white shirt floating around him and I grow mesmerized, wishing I could reach out and grab his hand and tell him I was right here. I never went anywhere. He was the one who left. Their own song merges cleverly with the one playing as the music video begins, but I had to stop watching. I still couldn’t believe it. All this time I had always wondered but never even thought to look him up. And now he’s staring me right in the face and following me around like a breeze. I was about to search for his name alone when I noticed it in the suggested links. “John O’ Callaghan of the Maine Talks About New Album, Lost Love, and Band’s Rise to Success.” I could never forget that name. Just as soon as I click on it, I’m overwhelmed by him smiling at the camera and introducing himself with that ridiculously long name and stupid permanent smirk. That slanted smile hasn’t changed a bit and now I was crying because that was definitely him. I had already known that, but it still didn’t feel real until I could truly put the face to the voice. My mind didn’t notice the interviewer already talking and I go back to hear his question and John’s optimistic nod and openness. “-is in the top 50 now. How has that been for you, y’know as part of an independent band and always having been keeping yourselves sort of under the radar?” His lips slant up and he scratches his head through his grey beanie. “Uhh, it’s been weird, yeah. I’m not used to turning on the radio and hearing, well me. It’s like, I try to change the station but ten minutes later I’ll hear the song and I’m like, ‘Oh, hey, that’s kinda cool. But shut the fuck up.’ I kinda get sick of it.” He laughs goodheartedly and crosses his leg. “But yeah, it’s definitely weird as well as incredibly humbling because we’ve gotten this far and that wouldn’t have happened without our fans always driving us on to keep making music.” “Yeah, it’s insane the traction that you guys have gotten with Lost Love. I mean, it’s playing on almost radio station. Were you a bit scared at first to release something so personal? Were you afraid of how people would react to this…well, declaration of love to put it simply?” My nerves tingle and he licks his lips as he sits up. “I think maybe at first. I mean I’d never talked about it to anyone except close friends so to reveal that was kind of terrifying. It’s something that I’ve kept to myself for years and I had always sort of had a neverending draft of what I wanted to say to this girl, and I haven’t seen her since college. I don’t know, the timing this time around for this album felt right and I wanted to give the fans something sincere, while still just doing it because I wanted to. It felt like a weight off my chest.” “Has the one you wrote the song about gotten in contact with you ever since the release of the song?” My mouth dries and I watch as he flashes a tight lipped smile. “No, no I don’t think she even knows about it or has heard it. I never talked to her again because I’m…an idiot, basically.” He does an open hand gesture as he shrugs and I huff, agreeing. “Let’s ask the real stuff. Were you ever in love?” I snort to myself, getting ready for the response that I’d been prepared to hear almost ten years ago. He’d find a way of breaking it to me and the rest of the internet soft. No, I think I was just infatuated. We were just kids so we only thought it was love. I liked her a lot but it wasn’t serious. He’d break it to me the only way he could, with his charm. This should be good- “Yeah, yeah I think it was love. But I never told her and that’s what that song is about, regretting I never did.” Wait. WHAT. “What?!” I shout at my phone, feeling my face heat up, both at embarrassment and anger. He fucking loved me? And he never told me? “And you never tried to find her again?” the man asks him. John gives a sympathetic smile, apparently not really knowing how to respond. “I always thought I was too late and I missed my chance. She was probably mad at me anyway.” “You fucking idiot,” I mutter, shoving my keys in the ignition and starting up my car. I was going to find him and I was going to fucking kill him.

I end up driving past College Avenue until I remember the way through his neighborhood, spotting the gates and being ushered through. I’d done my research and found out they’d just gotten back from a tour in the UK, so if anybody knew about his whereabouts, it was his mother. I’d no idea what she would think or do when she saw me, but hopefully it wouldn’t send John running for the hills. I’d bottled up my confusion and hurt for months when he left, and I was ready to let him have it. He was going to get everything he deserved. Pulling into the old driveway, I wipe my palms on my thighs, tugging down my shorts in fear of Jenny disapproving. I didn’t need her thinking that the woman her son wrote a song about wasn’t right for him. Not that I gave a shit, but right now I was scared and I gave a shit. I take a quick look in the rearview, making sure my light brown waves were in place and that I didn’t look as mousy as I feel inside. Just walk up the front steps, I tell myself. It’ll be fine. She probably won’t even remember you. Knocking on the front door, I stand there anxiously as I wait for it to open. I pray with every ounce of my being that he wasn’t making a quick visit because I didn’t know if I was quite ready for that yet. Jenny’s face greets me and I breathe out a sigh of relief, feeling fireworks going off behind my brain and the little me inside me waving a patriotic flag for non-embarrassment. “Marty?” she says in a surprised, but yet somehow still motherly voice. Her short hair bobs as she shakes her head, eyes closing for a second. “Oh my goodness.” “Um, h-hi, Mrs. O’Callaghan,” I say, the little me sitting the fuck back down. She beams at me and opens the door a bit wider. “Hello, dear! Wow, it’s so good to see you. How are you?” “I’m well,” I mutter, clearing my throat. “I didn’t think I’d find you or if you’d even remember. I know it’s been a long time.” She clicks her tongue. “How could I forget? All the time John brought you over, I thought for sure he was going to announce you two were finally together one of those days.” My cheeks tinge warmly and I bite my lip. “Right. Th-That’s actually why I’m here-“ “You’re looking for him, right? You heard it?” I open my mouth to speak, but I can’t bring myself to form any actual words and merely nod instead. Jenny grins warmly and rests her hand behind my back. “Come in. He’s coming over in a bit, you can join us for dinner.” My eyes widen. Oh God no. “He’s coming over now?” “Relax, honey. You have nothing to be nervous about. You’ve no idea how many times he’s called me just this month about how badly he hoped you’d call him or find a way to get in contact. A part of me knew you would show up here though.” I swallow and I try to process what she was saying. He’s had me on his mind for this long and he’s waited till NOW to fess up? And he couldn’t tell me about this damn song instead of driving me insane for almost a decade? “If you want I can give him a call,” Jenny suggests, seeing the expression on my face. I shake my head. “N-No that’s fine. I think I prefer him finding the unexpected visit himself.” Jenny shoots me a glisten-eyed look. “He’s going to be so happy to see you.” My heartbeat picks up and I grit my teeth. God dammit, the more she talked about it, the more I remembered how his lips and hands would feel and the less angry I was getting. Fifteen minutes late, I sat impatiently with a glass of water in hand, hearing the car pull up in the driveway but too nervous to peak. My heart was racing 80 miles a minute because it’s been ten years of not knowing anything and now I knew everything and he was just on the other side of that wall. The doorbell rings and I try to keep my emotions in check as I get the courage to stand, letting Jenny answer the door. I could see his shadow in the hall as he kissed her on the cheek. “Hi, ma. How are you?” “Oh, I’m fine. More importantly than that, I think there’s something you’d like to know.” He chuckles and the heart going at full speed now screeched and crashed onto the highway. It wasn’t prepared for the sound. In person. “Yeah? What’s that? Did pops break his leg again?” “No. There’s somebody here to see you.” It’s silent and I have no way of knowing what his face looks like. The longer I waited, the more I longed to see it again and finally sear it into my brain the way I would when we’d lay across from each other and joke about getting divorced if we were to ever have a future together. It felt so far away ago. Jenny mumbles something I can’t hear before moving into the kitchen, leaving him standing alone just around the corner. Did he know what was waiting for him? Finally, I hear him exhale and I raise my head despite wanting to completely hide. His gaze met mine as I felt the space between us getting closer. Suddenly we were face to face and his eyes were vivid and wide. “Mars.” Fuck. He hadn’t called me that since our last night together. I was done for. My hands cup his stupid perfect face and I press my mouth against his angrily, letting go of all the pent up hatred I held for him like he had let me go. At least I thought he had. This whole time and he was still holding on. His arms wrap around my waist in a tight grip, and feel the firmness of his chest that somehow felt so much bigger. I hear a whimper as it gets stuck in my throat and John raises his hand to my cheek, running his thumb along my freckles and reminding me the whole reason I was here. I pull away abruptly, breathless and his lips trying to pull me back but I hide my head under his chin. “Why did you go away, you dumbass?” “I’m so sorry, Marty,” he whispers, his nose in my hair. “You didn’t deserve that.” “The hell I didn’t. You didn’t even say goodbye.” My voice grows thin and I wipe my eyes weakly. “You didn’t try to explain o-or tell me the truth.” “I was scared,” he mumbles as he winces. “I didn’t know if how I felt was for real. I only realized it when I still found you on my mind at night, years later.” I shove on his chest and pull away roughly. “I still deserved something even as a friend. I was fucking hurt.” He swallows roughly. “I know. I never thought I’d see you again. I thought if you ever did hear the song that you’d just hate me more and I’d have to go looking for you like I should have the first time.” He gives a soft crooked smile. “I never thought you’d be the one to wash up to shore.” My hearts melts and the little me starts dancing while tossing petals over my head. I could feel every part of me telling me to stay mad at him, but it was telling me to kiss him already, to give the lost love another chance.

“I’m sorry, Matilda Martin,” he murmurs, resting his forehead against mine. “I’m so sorry. Everything I regret is in that song. I just wanted to find you.” Sighing, I close my eyes and put his hands back on my waist. It’s all I ever thought about when the side of my bed felt empty and the moon was out. And now he was here again and despite all the time we missed out on, it felt like the start of something brand new, and it was stronger. “I love you,” I tell him, unfiltered and sincere. “I always have.” His brows draw together and he kisses me once more, carrying me over the clouds and above the water. “I love you. To Mars and back.”

[floweringthewords]

holy hell this is getting long lmao im almost done ok ~C

posting soon! Im hoping the first of many this week 💕 might do a fluffy friday one shot later if nothing comes up!

~C

[floweringthewords]

posting soon! Im hoping the first of many this week 💕 might do a fluffy friday one shot later if nothing comes up!

~C

[floweringthewords]

Are you taking requests ? :D

Not at the moment no

[floweringthewords]

Girl I hope so too, I L O V E me some John :))

I've had a huge influx of ideas and this urge to write lately so you will be getting a ton 💕~C

[floweringthewords]

Any john smut coming up?????

I hope so ;)))

[floweringthewords]

Yayyy I'm excited !

You may be the only one haha