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Trying something new
I normally write in a journal but I am having pain in my wrist that I have had three surgeries so Im giving typing a shot. I thought why not post on Tumblr since no one really follows me but at least I will feel like someone out there might be listening to me. In that case maybe I will impact them or maybe they will relate to me. SO here is a little background I just turned 23 and man I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I struggle with mental illness but I work really hard to fight it sometimes my hard work pays off. I have an amazing 6 year relationship with the man I want to marry. I don’t have many friends which is totally my fault but I do hope to make more friends because your bitch is lonely. Well that's it for now. Talk to you later :)
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Here goes nothing
Hey I’m Dallis I’m 20 and I’ve decided that I’m gunna start writing on here about me and my life. Not sure anyone will be interested but whatever igaf. Writing makes me feel better so through writing on here maybe someone will relate and realize they aren’t alone! My life has had its ups and downs like anyone else but a lot of my lows were really low and dark. I know I’m not alone so I want to put my story out there.
Growing up:
I grew up in a small Massachusetts town called Swampscott. Unfortunately
My childhood was good I had a roof over my head and food to eat. My mother and I clashed from the beginning never got along. My siblings picked on me because I was drama queen and “weak”. My dad was my person and still is! My relationship with my family now is great and they are my safety net. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years in May. We met through work at a pizza place called Vesuvius. He’s awesome to me and has supported me through everything and there is nothing more important then support systems. I can be a support system for others in need because nothing is worse then feeling alone.
My story.
Middle school is when bullying slapped me in the face and it only got worse from there. As a little girl I dreamed of making the cheering team in high school. Try outs come around and I made the team! I was over the moon happy. I thought high school is going to be different I will be happy it was my come up. Early July the town throws a strawberry festival at the town hall with an out door concert and little market to buy some food to raise money for the Swampscott football and cheering teams. This was my first outing as a varsity cheerleader and I felt very confident! While selling raffle tickets I ran into one of my male friends from middle school. He was now a junior and we talked for a few minutes he asked how life was and then I went back to my team selling tickets. Later that night I get a Facebook message from the junior and we began texting daily for a month. He knew all the right things to say when I vented about my hurtful past. He gained my trust. On his birthday he asked me hangout before his friends came to pick him up to hangout. I said yes of course... I knew he would want to have sex and I was intimidated by him and not ready so I told him I had my period. When we got to his room I knew he had other plans. When it started I froze up and never said no. He was banging my head on the wall and I wascrying silently for what felt like 2 hours. When it was over I didn’t say a word and left as soon as I could. I kept it to myself and didn’t tell anyone for four years. He frequently checked up on me and spread horrible rumors about me just in time to go back to school. Friends slowly faded and I was alone in a school that believed his word over mine and it’s not like anyone asked my side anyway. I was soon labeled with horrible names. Someone took my school books and wrote the names on every page of it. I was branded. My junior year came and I gave up on my life I was cutting and so paranoid I made every excuse to skip school. Halfway through my junior year I was hospitalized for depression and was diagnosed with PTSD. I dropped out my 18th birthday and said PEACE SHS. I went and got my HiSet and signed up for college. Worked full time and went to classes. My life now is full of happiness but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t get cloudy or even dark. I just try my best. Thank you for reading I’ll be writing again! If you didn’t care then shove it lol! I’m sick of hiding who I am and how I feel! -flowering thunder
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