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yikes i'm sorry i accidentally unfollowed your main blog because i thought that was the ask button 😭

when you get this, list 5 songs you like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers :3

ToT you're good loves.

Hmm, 5 songs I like to listen to

1. R U mine? Arctic Monkeys

2. Cure (alienstage)

3. Juno Sabrina Carpenter

4. Snap out of it arctic monkeys again

5. Lowkey Niki

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So I got into alien stage...

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Genuinely

if u voted for trump unfollow me right now

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Have so much on hold I WILL NOT live atp but Ill finish them I SWEAR

Im just overloaded with plates and projects everyone Im sorry

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Have so much on hold I WILL NOT live atp but Ill finish them I SWEAR

Im just overloaded with plates and projects everyone Im sorry

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about the alien stage…. same here 🙂‍↕️✊🏻 guilty charged for bawling my eyes out but also kinda happy that ivan and till will be reunited 🥰🥰 but some fans theorised that he’s still alive so idk what to feel anymore 😭😭 happy that’s he’s alive? or sad that ivan won’t get to meet the lohl anytime soon 😭

RIGHT??? I bawled my eyes out while eating cause of it. I genuinely want to see Luka and Hyuna's backstory

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Watched Alien stage, Im never gonna recover.

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Might change layout soon

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I promise I promise Im posting today, ILL POST THREE THIS WEEK BECAUSE yk- I need to finish the event lol

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I somehow- was able to finish most of the plate. I might do a diff painting for now

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I just took a short break from my plate man...

daichi is the kind of boyfriend to be ultra responsible and reliable, but never lets you know how he's really feeling

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We're suspended for two days cause of the storm...

Thank you, Storm 🤩

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Grah I can't finish any works this week Im sorry 😔

NEXT WEEK I'LL CATCH UP I PROMISE

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Life update: Currently dying with my plate

WHY DO I HAVE TO DO A THREE MEDIA, FULL BODY, FORESHORTENED PAINTING STOP

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I love pink. But red gets me. Should I switch to a more red themed layout?

...

I'll do it after I finish my event lol

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Thinking about historical au with Sakusa

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Oh!

haikyuu angstober

day two: iwaizumi hajime

art: oracle of black enchantment by mildred payne

soundtrack: ignorant piece of shit by carissa's weird

word count: 700

warnings: implied terminal illness, death, hospital setting, religion, grief, unhappy ending, i cried while writing

taglist is open, complete this form to be added

Iwaizumi does not have a relationship with God. His parents never cared, so he never learned to care. He never learned how to pray, and he’d never needed to.  

The stagnant, sterile smell of the cramped hospital room fills his lungs, and he holds onto her hand, limp and weak. His breathing is shaky, and each inhale is interrupted by a cutting sob. Iwaizumi does his best to hold his breath as he looks down at her, laid out in a hospital bed, eyes shut and gently snoring, IVs tying her down like overgrown vines.

He’d been warned that this was coming. Iwaizumi had been given ample time to prepare; whether that be to cut and run or prematurely grieve or prepare himself for this eventual reality. But instead, he grit his teeth and dug his heels in and pretended that everything she gave him was endless.

Iwaizumi doesn’t let go of her hand as he kneels at her bedside. It’s cold, and he holds it between his own hands as he cups them together in prayer. He doesn’t know how to pray. He doesn’t know how to ask for what he needs. So he starts with a choked up, broken exhalation of, “Please.”

Please, he says again in his head, eyes screwed shut. Please don’t take her away. Please give her another year, at least. She deserves a hundred. She deserves so much more than what you’ve given her. Please don’t take her from me. I’ll do anything. I don’t want her to die. Please. She can’t die. Please, please, please.

The weight of a world without her in it is pressing down on his chest, and he can feel in encroaching, getting heavier and heavier with each plea that echoes in his head. It’s starting to devolve, spinning out of his control and Iwaizumi has to bite down on his tongue and hold all the air in his lungs so his sobs don’t wake her.

His wet eyes open and look up at her, and he exhales slowly, carefully and controlled. She doesn’t look like herself, lips chapped and cheeks hollow with deep, purple bruises under her eyes. She looks like half of her is somewhere else.

Please, he says internally again, lifting her hand slightly to place a kiss on the curve of her finger. Please, he pleads as one hand reaches up to smooth out the ends of her tangled, brittle hair. Please, his thumb traces the outline of her jaw, just slightly trembling.

When the sun was high in the sky and she could still stand steadily on her own two feet, she had taken a hold of Iwaizumi’s hand and drawn patterns on his palm. The air smelled like the salt of the sea. “When the time comes,” she had asked, quiet and unsure, “can you be there with me? I don’t want to go alone.”

Iwaizumi turned his head at the time. He regrets this now. He wishes he had taken hold of her then and looked her in the eye when he said, “Of course I will.”

Please, Iwaizumi thinks, like it’s the only word left that he knows. He bites down on the inside of his cheek until he tastes blood. Please.

When it happens, it’s uneventful. It’s quiet. Iwaizumi is sitting by her side, in the same spot he’s occupied for weeks, tangling his fingers with hers like he was trying to tether her down.

He almost doesn’t notice it, when the constant beeping off the heart monitor slowly starts to fade, and then peters off. Iwaizumi was focused on her hand, how it felt in his, how cold it had gotten. It takes a few moments for the silence to settle over him.

And when it catches up to him, he raises his head to look at her, half-expecting her to be sitting up, the wires that connected her to the monitor ripped off and hanging limply in her curled fist. But she’s just lying there, still, like sleep.

Iwaizumi stands and leans over her. His hand is shaking as it reaches down to caress her cheek. He doesn’t notice he’s crying until it drips onto her hospital robes. Her snores stop, and her chest doesn’t rise.

if you enjoyed please consider reblogging or sending in an ask <3

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