flyblckbirdflyarchive-blog

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i have just unfollowed everyone on this account, just so everyone knows. nothing personal, just tidying things up for archival purposes.

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I have changed the URL for this blog and my new blog. If you would like to follow my new fic blog/occasional personal, please follow me here at flyblckbirdfly.

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Please follow flyblckbirdflyfic if you’d like to continue to get updates on my fics and writing. <3

[flyblckbirdflyarchive-blog]

Please follow flyblckbirdflyfic if you’d like to continue to get updates on my fics and writing. <3

[flyblckbirdflyarchive-blog]

Please follow flyblckbirdflyfic if you'd like to continue to get updates on my fics and writing. <3

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Thank you so much, each and every one of you, for your support. This wasn't the result of one, or even ten, specific instances. My leaving Tumblr been a long time coming and I really need to see if this helps me. Hey, it might even improve my writing output. Who knows?

If you would still like to receive information, updates, and the occasional liveblogging of my writing, please follow flyblckbirdflyfic (which will clearly get more fabulous looking with time).

Thank you for all of the lovely asks I've been receiving. I will respond to each and every one of them. It's been a mostly very good ride here on Tumblr, and I have all of you to thank for that. At this blog's peak, I had 2,452 followers and that just blows me away.

<3 Birdie

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I've said this several times, but this time, I genuinely mean it. I'm done with this website. I'm done with the bitching and the passive aggressive bullshit and the just... everything. I'm still going to write, but everything will be posted to my LJ or sebklaine.net. I'll continue to participate in my RP and my secret Glee blog. I'm really sorry, all of my wonderful, amazing followers. You have stuck with me through so much and have supported and uplifted me when I really needed it. I'm not throwing a tantrum or storming out of fandom, I'm just done with this account because it has been, frankly, toxic for me a lot of the time. If you want to know how to get in touch with me, please send me a non-anon ask. I'll check that through the weekend and then I'll be gone. Thank you, and I really am sorry.

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I hate this website so much.

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ha haha kurt's first ever boyfriend cheated on him. ha ha haha *lights self on fire*

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Some thoughts on being an outsider to depression

So, views on last night's episode are pretty divided. People were furious over Blaine's 'character assassination' (which I don't agree is what happened in the slightest, but that's for another post) but now people seem to be in agreement that Blaine is severely depressed (which very well might be the case and I'm going to go with that for the sake of this post). So now the frustration is dripping over onto Kurt and I'm going to ask as someone who was once in Kurt's shoes, to stop.

Growing up, I didn't suffer from depression the way I do now. It didn't start until my early twenties. But when I first developed my own struggles, it wasn't my first interaction with it.

I grew up with a parent who suffers from depression. I didn't know. Hell, I'm not even sure that they knew. And then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, a suicide attempt was made that rocked all of our worlds clean off their axis, forever changing the way I look at pretty much everything and everyone and every relationship I have.

This seemingly out of the blue attempt on a life really wasn't at all. Looking back, there were warning signs everywhere. There were cries for help, there were things that were left undone, all of them textbook signs of depression. But the thing was, I didn't know.

I had never known someone who was depressed. I had never learned what those warning signs were. I didn't know what it looked like when someone was reaching out, not just to me, but to the others around us. I didn't know and then it was too late, and no one blames me, but I blame myself. I was one of the people closest to them in the world, and I ignored simply due to my ignorance. A cry for help isn't always a literal cry, it can be in the dishes that are left in the sink for a week or the extra burst of phone calls. People who suffer from depression don't always know that they are or what to call what they're feeling and they certainly don't always know how to handle their feelings.

Sometimes, it ends in a near tragedy like the situation in my own family did. Sometimes, things are figured out and things can get on the road toward better. Sometimes, people begin self-destructive behaviors in a desperate attempt to fix what feels wrong in their life.

People who feel strapped monetarily might go on credit card spending sprees. People who feel unhappy with their appearance might go to drastic measures to alter it. People who feel isolated and lonely might cheat just to feel a closeness with someone. None of it helps, but we try anyway, because the desperation to feel good again is so present that you just can't help it.

So, I can't blame Kurt for not noticing because one time, I didn't notice either. I almost lost a parent because I didn't.

I also can't be upset with Blaine for cheating. Not yet. Not until we get some more details. I am frustrated with him for being upset with Kurt when he was the one who insisted that he go to New York in the first place, but I'm not mad and I'm not angry.

Mostly, I'm just sad for both of them for very different reasons. Last night, they not only lost their boyfriends, their lovers, but they also lost their best friends. I can't think of anything sadder.

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Oh okay.

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i think a lot of people are forgetting that blaine has been upset with kurt for ignoring him for "new york" since DWS. that was never actually resolved. blaine said his peace, kurt said he loved him. that wasn't a resolution.

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thank god mi is around to let me scream obnoxious shit at her right now that no one else in fandom would want to read atm.

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I DID IT FOR COLFER SKIN FUCK CONTEXT IT'S JUST AN ICON