fmdjinyoung-blog

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

                                                                                                                                                                                      ┍━♥♠♣♦━┑

it’s mandy  i’m back with the world’s golden hyung & the nation’s visual, black dragon kang jinyoung. you might better know him as noya, alien’s lead vocal representing the planet saturn. sorry this is late, but finally he’s back and more blonde than ever, although just about everything has changed in addition to the hair, including but not limited to the fact that he’s a casanova and his tongue’s gotten him pretty far on the social spectrum in every way you can imagine. not so much a stumbling brick of a prince. positive? he’s still as musically gifted as before and reads a lot of books. even wears glasses. will cart anyone just about anywhere and buys the kids at dimensions (unity) whatever they want. has a soft spot for shy, non-confrontational folk. negative? his ego’s up the wall, he gets jealous p quickly, and he has a reputation for being a harsh critic among other things. in other words, he can be an asshole, and a possessive one at that. but he’s our asshole, all smoke and steel, and we love him that way. if you want resident asshole in your muse’s life, don’t hesitate to like this for an im. (plots page isn’t up quite yet, but will be in coming days, so therefore all current threads are dropped)                                                               ┕ trivia ♔below ┙

jinyoung’s the son of a former idol and employee at bc entertainment and a certain executive at samsung enterprises. he acts just as spoiled as he sounds, but he has all these issues with loving thanks to his mom cheating and strolling off to leave the dream life she missed out on overseas.

jinyoung = soft on the inside, metallic on the outside. he means no real harm, but people with soft feelings cannot be spared by him. he’s cocky.

jinyoung’s a pretty advanced actor and his icy demeanor and top notch visuals slide into older brother and warrior roles well. hwarang was one crazy experience.

jinyoung’s known for speaking his mind; he’s judged a few competitions before or made cameos. he won’t hesitate to tell rookies and veterans alike that they look like idiots. he’s especially hard on dimensions’ newer artists.

jinyoung’s a bitter uncle with too much money. he lives in a place too large for one person with two cars he doesn’t need and his lavish wardrobe is gag worthy.

jin’s dad pretty much meddled with alien’s lawsuit all along while he hid the fact that he was loaded from the struggling members. the relationship between everyone and jinyoung now is thin.

jinyoung knows french and his expertise on art is almost shocking. he’s a devil on stage and distressed jeans to the world, but in his private life, he can be seen touring museums and spending time at historical landmarks.

jinyoung usually is seen hanging around with kkh artists moreso than considered ‘idols.’

jinyoung’s the king of variety shows and is popular with old ladies. that’s his style.

any questions or more details needed? ask me up!

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

fmdwooseung:

for some reason, jinyoung looks tense. well, that is one thing max has always noticed about the older male’s body language. being a dancer has trained his eye to observe these kind of things. it does seem a little intimidating, but max just assumes that the older male cannot help it. maybe something is bothering the older male.  

max takes a seat when jinyoung pulls out a chair for him. “no, it was fine.” the journey was not even the hardest part. “i don’t think i have to worry about that.”   max just had a difficult time waking up. unity members tend to keep a low profile, so they are not ambushed by fans or caught by the paparazzi. besides, they have not been active recently. he shrugs his shoulders, “i guess i just got used to roaming around without anyone coming up to me.”  

when jinyoung mentions the vending machine, max’s hunger finally settles in. the younger male’s stomach starts to grumble. he nonchalantly replies, “uh, yeah. that would be nice.” max is always in a rush whenever he has to go somewhere in the mornings that he practically forgot about eating altogether. again, max feels kind of bad for putting jinyoung in such an awkward position. he does not want to give off the impression that he expects his seniors to take care of him. every since debuting under unity, he is trying his best to become more independent.

“Come on then, precious dongsaeng,” Jinyoung stands up without hesitation and offers a hand to Max at the ripe growl of his hungry stomach. He knows his instincts look more paternal at the offer of treating him to snacks instead of working like they intended, but he can’t help the instinct and doesn’t bother to stop himself. His neck was getting tight anyways; the least he could do was take a stroll around the halls and waste time on eating.

He blames his weakness on Max’s young face really, and especially on the face that he’s watched him and Unity’s members since they were trainees. He dotes on them more than he should and has never hesitated to let his affection loose. Who knows if it’s self-gratitude or pure love that keeps him at his habits. 

The way he opens the studio door is enough of an answer. “You first,” Jinyoung mumbles as he ushers the hungry boy through and shuts the lights out behind them, eying the empty halls. He supposes the building wouldn’t be too busy, no matter the promotions being organized. It’s nice to be able to relax and work almost normally like this when things will inevitably get busier. “BY the way, don’t hesitate to ask me for a treat. Trust me. I’ll always offer anyways. Now do you know where the machine...is?”

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

             IDOLIZED PLAYLIST: 𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓙𝓲𝓷𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

                                       — guilty pleasures.

Known for his vocal work and top-notch visuals, MARS' Jinyoung reveals his 'Fire & Desire' stemming from his personal, musical, and sensual side in a curation of his 'guilty pleasures' in anticipation for the Idolized documentary—from Electronic styles to R&B.

titles: 1. kyle’s don’t wanna fall in love | 2. decipher’s shift | 3. ivy’s gashina | 4. russ’ losin’ control | 5. roy woods’ go go go | 6. drake’s since way back (ft. partynextdoor) | 7. drake’s fire & desire | 8. knight’s 00:00 | 9. the weeknd’s sidewalks (ft. kendrick lamar) |10. b.miles’ running | 11. yeona’s new | 12. knight’s touch it | 13. the weeknd’s shameless | 14. the weeknd’s can’t feel my face | 15. disclosure’s latch (ft. sam smith) | 16. mars’ black out | 17. decipher’s don’t stop | 18. calvin harris’ summer | 19. decipher’s lipstick | 20. origin’s outro: do you think it makes sense?

Kang Jinyoung is notorious for lacking in personal expression in most areas (ie. answering questions for interviews about idol documentaries) except for those relating to music. The task of creating a playlist of songs exploring his music taste and character wasn’t difficult in that he wasn’t sure how to approach the task, but more so because he was too excited for it.

In deciding which songs would make the list, Jinyoung thought whether to come from an international angle, a personal angle, or a from a place of respect for certain artists. In the end, picking just on whim or instinct ended up accomplishing all three things. The playlist resulted in a good sample of his music tastes from the west to the east, starting with a playful rap/electronic selection from America’s KYLE and ending on a more familiar note, an outro from Korea’s own Origin’s late Dark and Wild. 

There are hidden gems in the lyrics that are applicable to Jinyoung but otherwise hard to tell, including the dilemmas explored in The Weeknd’s Sidewalks, Russ’ Losin’ Control, and Roy Woods’ Go Go Go. 

The playlist overall is Jinyoung’s attempt to make up for his lacking personality and probable underperformance and coverage in the documentary with passionate selections of music. There’s respect within the playlist thrown in the direction of Lipstick’s Yeona and group Decipher, as well as other groups and soloists from the three featured companies as required. 

If he were to describe his selections himself, Jinyoung would say, “I wanted to convey the feeling of a nightclub underwater. There’s guitar, strong vocals, raps, Korean, English, jazzy tones, ballad-like songs, electronic, and all the other works. It’s an award-winning selection of music, really.” 

He wouldn’t be wrong in saying that.

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

Idolized Preshooting Interview; MARS’ 𝓙𝓲𝓷𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

          We caught up with the twenty-eight year old to get a glimpse into his thoughts for the                            upcoming filming of the highly anticipated Idolized documentary.

What is life as an idol like? What are the hardships? What is rewarding?

Jinyoung’s more than thankful that he’s chosen a shirt with so many tailoring details to wear for the sit-down; he’s able to pick at the buttons here and there and to rub his thighs when he’s anxious about an answer. He’s arguably the most professional in approaching his job as an idol; he gives just enough, knows when and how to smile after saying something and where chuckles are appropriate, but the notion of explaining that job is not such an easy thing to get personal about. He gives his manager a questioning look, who urges him to continue, and so he does after clearing his throat. “Ah. Life as an idol is probably as hard as everyone imagines, but the hardships aren’t so bad if you take everything in stride. It’s fun to be on the road but all of the flights get tiring, it’s great to perform but it takes a lot of practice before hand, and it’s important to stay fit even if your body feels strain. There’s pros and cons to everything, right? All of the difficulties go away when you finish promotions or something like that, look back, and think, “Ah, I did it.”” He gets a thumbs-up. It’s a workable answer and more than expected from him.

How would you feel if your future child wanted to be an idol?

The mere assumption of his kin is enough to make a laugh bubble on the tip of his tongue but he lets it die there like a passing wave and instead clears his throat again, turning his head to the side quickly as a cautionary gesture. It’s more than unnerving for the manager who draws attention to himself more and more by the passing minute; he’s coached Jinyoung for this and yet he’s trying to go against the cold, collected image he’s always had. Why now? “If my future child wanted to be an idol, I’d support them. My father supported me in the public eye because everyone else in my family already was. If it was what I wanted to do, he was fine with it. I think there’s a lot of ways to express your love for music, and if that’s the way my child wanted to pursue it, then so be it. As long as they understood what it took and did their best, I’d say that’s alright.”

Do you think the words “artist” and “idol” mean the same thing?

Jinyoung knows how he really feels about this, he’s told his manager in honesty while they were viewing the questions in advance. The man told him to lay it on easy, rather not to be honest at all and to be very non-descript as he always is. Straight faced with stiff nods as they’d discussed. Only he doesn’t do that, for once in his career. “Idol and artist of course aren’t the same thing. They can both work as hard, that’s subjective, but objectively they’re not. An artist channels a lot of creative expression and personal touch into a lot of things. They have to create a brand and a certain image. An idol does those things to a lesser extent. An idol has different responsibilities than an artist, a creator does.” They’ll talk about it in the car.

Are there sides to you your fans don’t see?

This is a question that calms his manager’s heart rate. There’s not much Jinyoung had to say about this subject and the solid look on his face seems to project that now. “I think everyone has sides and parts of them they don’t show everyone, so yes, I probably do. I’d like to think I’m very real in my presentation though. I don’t like changing myself if I don’t have to.”

What do you hope viewers will see through the airing of this show?

His manager’s nervous again to be honest and the way Jinyoung’s cuffing and uncuffing his sleeves shows that he’s not sure about this question. The lower half of the questions Jinyoung simply didn’t have a good answer for. “Um. I hope they see through the airing of this show that...idols are not as superior or perfect as imagined. It’s easy to forget that idols and musicians are people just like everyone else, no matter how talented. This might show a new perspective.”

What do you hope you’ll get out of the experience of the show? Are there any other groups or idols you hope to get the chance to meet more through the show?

“I hope that I can learn how to have fun with others during this experience,” He answers finitely and doesn’t speak for a while, which makes his manager groan. He’s mouthing ‘more,’ so Jinyoung gives him more. “I think sometimes I don’t talk to or text others enough like I know a lot of my members in MARS do. Sometimes I’m all work and no play, which can be a bad thing. Um, I think I’d like to meet anyone more.” ‘More.’ “ I musically admire the women in Lipstick and the men of Decipher seem fun to be around. It would be cool to say hello to them.” He’s shrugging.

How do you feel about the upcoming Hallyu Triple Fantasy Concert in Jeju City?

The what? He was only briefly told about this and perhaps chose to ignore it. It wasn’t like MARS was busy, he just hasn’t taken a look at his agenda book in..forever. “I’m looking forward to it.” He provides and gets a blank expression in return. “It seems like a great opportunity for a lot of fans to come together and enjoy themselves, which is always good.”

Do you have any worries about being followed by cameras for the show?

This is something he can tackle on his own and everyone on the teams’ more than grateful it’s the last question. Jinyoung’s quick and easy to work with, but it’s a bit tense with his manager frantically waving a clipboard around the entire time. “I’m only a tiny, little bit nervous about being followed by cameras because I’m a reserved person. I like down time and I’m not interesting during it, but I’ll do my best. I want to be entertaining. I feel mostly fine though because acting involves a lot of cameras, you know? Acting is like second nature for me, and I even have a few drama prospects coming up. This is a good warm-up, no?” 

He’s in his coat, gathered with the team, and in a car within the next five minutes.

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

like this to plot! i haven’t gotten a chance to plot with a lot of you, especially new muses, when it comes to jin! we can pick from plots or brainstorm, but either way i wanna have the resident idol dad get to know more children. i’ll im you!

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

@fmdwooseung;

there’s no doubt that max looks up to his seniors in dimensions entertainment. he’s still a rookie who’s trying to get used to the idol lifestyle. having great seniors is making his career more manageable. they always offer advice and a shoulder to lean on. one senior he’s particularly close to is jinyoung from mars. jinyoung is willing to make time to get to know him. his likes, his dislikes… max is never afraid to share those things with the older male. jinyoung is like the brother he never had.      

max always had respect for jinyoung. well, he has respect for rappers in general. even though the older male radiates an intimidating aura, they have a lot in common. for instance, they both enjoy composing and djing. the only reason he’s wandering into the studio on saturday morning is to hang out with jinyoung.

dressed in a sweater and sweatpants, a snapback hat also rests on top of his head. as max enters the recording studio, he spots the older male spinning around in a chair. he remarks, “uh, hyung… you’re gonna be dizzy if you keep doing that…” the younger male chuckles. “sorry to keep you waiting.” taking off his hat, he fixes up his hair a bit. he has a major case of bed head, and he didn’t even bother styling it before heading over to the company building. it’s so much easier just to throw on a hat.

max notices that jinyoung already set up the equipment. “oh, you already set everything up?” the younger male feels kind of bad for not showing up earlier to help jinyoung set up. out of his group members, he’s always the one to wake up last. that’s still a habit he needs to fix.  

Max’s arrival causes Jinyoung to stutter and halt his spinning with a jutted foot, brows raised in surprise. ‘So the chair spinning isn’t cool. Got it,” He mentally notes as he sits up as straight and established as usual, his broad set of shoulders as squared as they always are. He’s been told to relax them on many an occasion but hasn’t quite coached his body into smooth language yet. It’s what makes him the most frightening, and he knows it.

“Yeah, I did set up...didn’t wanna seem lazy,” Jinyoung jokes in a deep grumble, awkwardly offering a smile. It’s the least he can do for his cherished dongsaeng. Just seeing him now with bedhead and a lax attire makes him want to spoil him and skip the studio to feed him instead. 

“Was it hard getting over here? There weren’t many people outside the building when I got here so everything was fine as far as my journey went...” He begins as he pulls a chair out for the younger. The gesture is the least stiff thing he’s done so far and he’s sure Max is grateful for it. It’s not as though Jinyoung is uncomfortable, or maybe it is, he just supposes that being around others and spending casual time isn’t his strong suit and he’s now hyper-conscious enough of the flaw to fix it. His latest goal, in light of the whole idol documentary, is to seem more ‘cool’ and older brother and less father and boring.

“Even if it wasn’t hard for you either, you look like you could use something to eat. Did you want something from the machine?”

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

Jaeyoung:

“jinyoung,” jaeyoung was unable to keep the surprise out of his voice when he saw who was standing outside of his apartment, “uh, hi.” he said rather dumbly. it wasn’t a bad surprise but it was unexpected nonetheless. jaeyoung hadn’t properly talked to jinyoung in what, three years?

their friendship was inevitably tied to one of the hardest times in jaeyoung’s life, as it was only during alien’s lawsuit that jaeyoung really came to rely on him. it wasn’t just the money jinyoung’s father had provided them, although that might have been the starting point. jaeyoung had really come to trust jinyoung so quickly and during that time, he was somebody jaeyoung could cling to when he was at his worst.

it was weird. one would think that once the lawsuit was out of the way, they could truly become friends. instead, it was the opposite. maybe it was the basis they had formed their relationship on but once the lawsuit was over, their friendship deteriorated. there wasn’t a specific reason or action jaeyoung could think of, although mars debuting didn’t help. with jinyoung busy with schedules and jaeyoung on hiatus, they grew apart. sire, jaeyoung probably could have pushed more but…that wasn’t really his thing. he still healed. he still made it. as quickly as jinyoung had stepped into his life, he was back out again. somebody who had once known so much about him and had at times been the one to keep him going, now knew next to nothing about his current life.

“do you want to come in?” he finally moved, stepping out of the doorway to allow jinyoung inside. they couldn’t stand around all day.

The brief moment of hesitation between them, the moment of surprise even on Jinyoung’s side made him almost regret the decision to pop up. He was suddenly inclined to turn on his heel and forget the whole thing with the excuse of coming back another time, only to never come back, and walk out just as he had before. This was nothing but opening up a can of worms from the past and whether it was healthy or not for the both of them was unclear.

Jinyoung doesn’t turn and leave again, not again. He’s never been fearful and he’s not much of a coward, he just doesn’t want to be a burden on Jaeyoung and what he has going on now, as much as he wants to find out about it all and perhaps become a part of it. “Ah, yeah..” He finally musters the volume to speak and bows slightly as he crosses the doorway, taking his oxfords off and leaving them by the door.

“How, uh, have you been?” He tries, training his eyes on his apartment and scoping it out as a better gauge of his status and mood than asking, more like begging a certain question. He couldn’t expect Jaeyoung to be willing to open up like old times. He most certainly wasn’t the same Jinyoung either and had lost his free smiles and warmth to a tight jaw, flat tone, and set eyebrows. 

“It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. I know this is probably surprising...or at least an intrusion.”

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

Hayami:

[ ✉ → face of gods ] oh the joys of companies being a-holes to artists

[ ✉ → face of gods] nah, i’ll leave the acting to Doe and Min

[ ✉ → face of gods] you haven’t lived your life to the fullest, i really to show you the crazy stuff i do

[ ✉ → face of gods] you are oblivious…. truly oppa. i would say some else but i’d probably be seen as a pervert

[✉ → Hayami (Gold Star)] It’s getting a little old isn’t it? [✉ → Hayami (Gold Star)] But okay. Leave it to them, but keep what I said in mind. [✉ → Hayami (Gold Star)] Crazy stuff like what? I do plenty crazy. [✉ → Hayami (Gold Star)] Pervert? See now all this is doing is worrying me. I might be oblivious but you’re something else.

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

durifmd:

         to be quite honest, all of duri’s peers were his friends (give or take a few); it was just something that would happen. he was a friend-maker, constantly making friends with the people that are around him. he had constant friendly interactions; the cause of the soft, friendly, and warm personality that duri had has a person. he was the sun that would shine down so brightly upon flower gardens; bringing light and warmness to those that were around him.

during that long, six hour media training course, there was someone that duri had interacted before, but had never actually become friends with. though, it seemed those long six hours had brought him a friend out of the mandatory training (something that the companies were just using as the means of how people should present themselves in the documentary the three companies are making.) the other was seemingly good to talk to during the breaks and other things in between.  truly, it was nice and it was good conversation; it was easy becoming friends with the other.  

so, once you became friends with one another; it made much sense to exchange phone numbers. it wasn’t actually that was quite strange, since people would do it all the time.  though, with things going on to make one busy, it was hard to exercise the simplicity of keeping contact (something that duri would honestly feel bad for not doing.) but, he was sure that sometime soon he’d be able to contact and catch up, as soon as his schedule and life would allow such a simple task to take place.

duri wasn’t busy at all, he was lucky to have a bit of time to himself during his solo promotions. he had taken his puppy, star, out for a walk; whom had had just received very recently as a gift from his girlfriend, probably one of the best gifts that he had even been given. you see, dogs had always been his favorite and he had always talked about getting one, so now he finally had one of his own ⏤ simply, he was very happy that the golden retriever was in his life, another person that he was ready to make a bunch of memories with. now, he was simply just doing daily chores around his apartment; he was cleaning and doing laundry, things that he seemingly really enjoyed doing. he was currently finishing up that task.

something captures the attention of the pup, before the sound of nails clicking against wood flooring is heard, then the sound of them clicking in the entrance area of the apartment. star pushed his nose against the crack of the door, breathing heavily against. the sound of clicking nails was heard again, before the sound of footsteps followed after, and duri opened the door of the apartment.

“ah, hello jinyoung!” duri greets warmly, a soft, friendly smile on his face. “before you come in, are you okay with dogs? if not, i can put him in my room, he’ll be fine!” he questioned about star; whom was now sitting behind duri and peaking through his legs at jinyoung. this was something that the pup would do always, he has a rather shy personality.

Jinyoung was more than welcoming of Duri’s company. Never did he typically take himself out of his comfort zone and again, he was by no means the sociable type, so meeting him was just another chance for him to attempt to try and do so. Star’s company on the other hand was taking himself too far outside of his comfort zone, too far into traumatic moments and adrenaline overdrive. Within reason, the puppy seemed innocent enough, taking to his dad’s legs within his docile nature. It was why Jinyoung was pressed in the doorway instead of running like he’d typically do, working at the joints in his hands as he crushed them together nervously. He wasn’t inclined to showing the shaking, his anxiety to a new friend so early. 

He’d never had much of new friends in the first place and his impish, somewhat irrational trauma would ruin any possibility for change. “Try[ing] something new!” and “Go see[ing] new friends!” was more easily said by an encouraging friend than done by Jinyoung, but he was no coward. His social recluse would penalize him later in life and Duri’s shown his friendly hand of cards sooner: nothing but hearts. There was no point in letting a low stress opportunity go to waste.

It’s just that Star, with his little damp nose and hanging tail, with his paws and fur and muzzle and everything else was more than overwhelming in the moment. He wasn’t going to be a hero today.

“Hi...” He attempts to greet Duri first and bows shakily, a close eye kept on Star as he comes back up from the position. Talking is the only thing to prevent his jaw from locking up. The only thing to prevent paralyzing in fear or shutting down entirely. He has to keep moving, keep looking normal. “Um...oh,” He’s answering to the Star problem now, trying to look natural. It’s not really working. The moon’s never been too good at hiding behind the sun. “I’ve just had a bad fear of dogs since I was little. Maybe for now, could you? I feel really sorry for being...irrational and awkward about this, but it’s been a while since I’ve confronted one.” 

The entire dog situation started with Jinyoung being sent out of the family apartment for disrupting guests and had ended with him clawing up the stairs holding a bleeding face that ran down his arms, down to his elbows, and onto his new clothes. The latter was the only thing his mom had to comment on and the stitches in his face warranted a hug from dad. Perhaps the negligence was more scarring than the actual pain and anesthesia, but the moment’s had nothing but significant traction on his mind and keeps any animal out of the running for his company.

The whimpering he’s run into, begging at his wide palm for heavy-handed pets and cuddles, they’ve all been rejected. He hasn’t even been able to look a street cat in the eye since he moved to Seoul. There’s no worth in risking himself to be nice one to some furry creature, no matter how inconspicuous the thing could be. The claws, the sharp teeth, the everything, they’re just as dangerous as a heartbreak in his mind. Not that he knew the weight of one.

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

@fmdxchaeyeon ||

truthfully, living alone came with many amazing perks and chaeyeon was grateful for that opportunity, but she surely missed living with the rest of her group. fancy furniture and soft silk cushions couldn’t replace human beings. that’s why she never turned down any sort of company. however, jinyoung wasn’t just some random stranger and she was actually looking forward to seeing him again. it almost seemed like their last encounter had happened centuries ago. of course, that was an overestimation - but chaeyeon simply blamed herself for not finding enough free time to visit him.

‘’hey, jin. it���s good to see you again. come on in,’’chaeyeon greeted him, moving her wet hair to her back. ‘’you did arrive pretty quickly. i was just washing my hair. now, you’ll have to excuse me because i have to go and find a towel. you can leave the food on the kitchen counter. i’ll be back in no time,’’ quickly, she turned around and went towards her bedroom at the end of the hall. inside, her two lovely pets were carelessly sleeping and enjoying in the comfort of her spacious and warm home. but something woke them up and due to inability to remember to close the door, the two of them swiftly hopped out of her bedroom.

of course, chaeyeon didn’t pay much attention to her fox and dog, always allowing them to roam freely around her apartment without any worries. it was their home as much as it was hers. finally after a few shorts minutes and with a towel wrapped around her head, she made her way towards the kitchen. her two lovely pets were already there, but she wasn’t surprise because the smell of food must have attracted them. ‘’hey, jin. have you met my lovely friend artemis? isn’t she adorable?’’ she patted the fox’s head with a smile, ‘’and that over there is marcus aurelius. he’s always here to protect me.’’she told him and pointed at her golden retriever, ’’feel free to give them a hug. they love meeting new people.’’

Chaeyeon’s hair made Jin laugh, not because of the state of it, but because of how casual and easygoing she came off with it all. She looked comfortable and happy almost; her contentment was contagious. While she ventures back, he helps himself to the kitchen and arranges his takeout for them on the counter as she instructed. He can’t help looking around while he’s at it. 

It’s when she comes back that Jinyoung loses his mind. Mentally more so than physically, but nevertheless, he’s stumbling backward at the sight of two furry entities and he’s not sure how to stomach the surprise. “You’re what?” He’s unconfined, moving towards the kitchen window now and pointing accusatory at poor unsuspecting Marcus Aurelius. 

“Who...what’s that? Since when did you have pets? I..I just can’t really handle this right now, so I’m,” He begins as he makes his way from the window towards the living room again, his chest heaving hurriedly. He struggles to catch his breath and while the whole fear is childish, he dog and the...fox of sorts is too much for him to handle after ten years.

He’s just not ready to face it.

“I’m very scared. I’m very, very scared.”

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

J a e m i n

[✉ → Jinyoungie✨] Ok thank god there’s someone else at the dorm.. Are any of the others home? [✉ → Jinyoungie✨] Career? I haven’t heard that name in years [✉ → Jinyoungie✨] They keep saying comeback, but after six months I’m sort of tired of hearing of that [✉ → Jinyoungie✨] But why ask them if I can cook. I haven’t poisoned any of you in four years so I think I would qualify as a teacher [✉ → Jinyoungie✨] And we live in the same house, I’m always a door away

[✉ → Jaemin ] Nobody seems to be home right now. It’s a little weird, but I won’t comment. [✉ → Jaemin ] What is a career... [✉ → Jaemin ] I’ve just kind of moved on with the whole comeback promise. No more asking. [✉ → Jaemin ] I..never thought you ask you because it’d be burdensome. You’re a colleague, not someone I should rely on to cook when you don’t have to. [✉ → Jaemin ] I already feel bad enough not being able to help in the kitchen.

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

 Y e o n a.

HER SHUDDERING SIGH SHOULD hint to the answer of his pressing question, and the lacking visits of her midnight gaze melting into his should definitely clear the tense air, but he remains, still and stubborn, and she shifts uncomfortably, trying to cling to a sense of normalcy no longer there. It’s heavy, his low toned voice, like grains of coffee beans, shades of mocha, and they linger in the air, seconds drawing on, a heartfelt presence nearer than before, comfort close, but with hesitance keeping it miles away. She’s always been difficult, words are an uneasy feat Yeona has yet to stumble across, so she sticks to the tightening fists resting across her chest in desperate attempts to keep all emotions at bay. One glance, and it’ll come shattering, a whirlwind of feelings and fate getting caught in his mix of calming and organized auras. She couldn’t refuse his company, she should’ve, though, Yeo knows that at this point, he would’ve made home here anyways.

He’s born of chrysanthemums, and she’s got the bite of thorns to her lips, painted red, the essence of blood, or perhaps, a stinging betrayal. A rose, truly, her favourite kind, blush toned, fluttery and fine, quivering in this monstrosity, a mess, certainley. It’s outdone itself. Yeona is speechless, or breathless, maybe both.  

It comes to her suddenly. “Uhm, I’m fine, yeah, it’s just been really hectic, you know,” she mutters, gaze dashing across his shoulders, moving to the side, trying to stay still, but she cannot resist the tears that make her blink furiously in rejection. Her fingers press into her arms, tight, like a metallic cuff but definitely more stiff and more harsh as she can feel the knowing sting of her nails digging in. “I called Minhee first, yeah, she was — she was very mad. I —” a pause, a breath, a jerk of her neck to quickly stare at the floor. Oh gosh, it’s getting worse, it’s getting so much worse. “I’m fine, really — It’s just — It’s the process, it’s tough, and God, these performances are really getting so tiresome now,” Yeona rambles, voice shifting heavier and heavier, the bass strings of a cello, cracked, torn like paper and sewn together in pathetic attempts to salvage an image not worth saving to someone who sees right through it.

She hates this, hates the crystals that fall from her eyes, a crimson sorrow painted across her features that she continues to attempt at rescuing with the sudden dip of her head. He’s seen it though, he knows weakness, knows it in the manner of which she despises it, though, he still remains, pulled together by their astonishing similarities. “This — This idol life is just such a drag—” and the act ends. Velveteen curtains plunge to oak, a careful cry crawls past the constricted lining of her throat and her trembling pink lips. Her heart tremors, her shoulders cave in, and the desperate grips clung to her arms crumble apart. It’s over.

Jinyoung’s hands take to Yeona’s chin and hike it up, back towards his gaze, his parted lips, and the slow rise and fall of his chest. The salt in her tears, slowly grazing her cheeks is just as raw as his ragged breaths. It’s obvious now, in the moment’s denature, its denouement, that he’d ran here. He’d truthfully jumped a fence to get to Yeona with his mask cradled against his chest and coat pressed to his form by the steady falling rain outside. His hair upon further examination is damp and clings to his forehead, pressed flat and blocking the earliest reaches of his vision.

Yet all he sees is the rose, unfurling at the petals nestled closely to the heart, and he sets to pluck its thorns instead. He won’t press at the tenderest parts just yet. It’s not his place to examine overgrowth or holes tattered in the edges. It’s not.

A chrysanthemum—yellow in this one case—is not one lonesome bulb, but rather a cluster of heads, medicinal but aching with neglected love and a sort of sorrow. The edges rust and fold in on themselves in calculated pleats, like and yet unlike a rose, and beg the question of the worth of taking in the rain. Is there any? There is no worth to the salt on her cheeks, no worth to the gentle quiver of her lip or the rocking of her shoulders. There is no worth protecting a rose from the rain it needs to grow, but there is no value in leaving the chrysanthemum to die in its canopy or drown alone in the rain. There is no value here. No integer is tailored to their fit, to the body they’ve build nor the house of ribs they shelter their lonely hearts in and sprinkle with her salt. 

In the most rolling of storms, those with bruised clouds, crawling animals seek moist, they seek the warm, and plants and vines welcome the humidity just as eagerly. Jinyoung and Yeona, whether flowers or beings, don’t have a place there. He steels her sweating lips, wields her starving hips, but he won’t have her in the eye of a hurricane. He won’t take these emotions on for himself but rather offer solutions, and his punishing, yet warm gaze, sea salt and caramel, calls otherwise.

“If it’s a drag, why do we stay then? Why is this worth it? Was this ever a dream of yours? Because you’re sure as hell suffering from it. You can’t even look me in the eyes properly, Yeona. Is this really worth living? What exactly is...happening?” He asks of her, though not too much. He’s not seeking answers. Just her eyes.

What could the industry and rain have in common? Just as much as they do? What does it call for that plucks the long grass from investors and shucks their veinless, flowering skin for the worst? The succumb of their very natures to the economy that grows them to monstrous roses without cover from acid rain?

There is no value here, he’s sure of it.

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

E u n h a.

It didn’t take her long to drive off as soon as Jinyoung joined her in the car. Eunha took care to not seek out the fans that she knew would be out there – one smarter one could maybe recognize her face from a distance and they were both doomed. She drove out as fast as she possibly could without running someone over, keeping her eyes on the road and her head slightly tilted down so to hide as much as she could from anyone’s view. For a while Eunha became so focused on what she was doing she actually failed to acknowledge the man in the car with her. It was only when he spoke that Eunha snapped out of it – by then, they were already a couple streets away and distant from any possible risk.

The girl allowed herself to relax, a smile pulling on her lips. It was concealed by the mask, but she hoped Jinyoung could notice the wrinkles by her eyes indicating her natural reaction to his words. “Even if you weren’t that good of a sunbae, I’d have come,” Eunha pointed out and, well, it wasn’t exactly a lie. She’d done some pretty nice things to people who weren’t necessarily nice to her and she didn’t regret it – Jinyoung could’ve been a distant and even slightly cold sunbae and she would have still tried to help him if he called her asking for assistance. “But you are, so I’m glad to have come and I’m glad you even thought to call me when you needed some help.”

Stopping at a red light, Eunha turned to look at him. Even completely soaked, Jinyoung was still handsome – but then again, that was part of being an idol, right? You had to be the best looking person in the room even if you were wearing pajamas and no make up on your face, so it wasn’t surprising. She pulled her mask down so he could see her smile. “Where do you wanna go?” Eunha doesn’t ask him the reason why she got the call �� if Jinyoung wanted to share, he would.

In Eunha’s silence, Jin shakes himself out like the golden retriever he is and takes to looking out the window. There’s nothing like Seoul, he’s convinced, and yet so many of the idols it glorifies feel lonely and so terribly small in it. He could never feel small, and he does incline himself to loneliness, but the company of Eunha and a few others make the city less daunting and suffocating in nature. 

“You always know what to say to flatter me,” He sighs and pushes a sticker book smile back to her, hoping the moment doesn’t fall down as quickly as they’d stacking. Perhaps it’s in Eunha’s nature, but a part of him wonders why she’s been  so loyal to him up until now. It’s not like humanity to just be kind and caring by virtue, by spirit, and he wonders how she’s kept a tough skin in the early start of her career. He’s tried to ask a few times, but could never get the words out the way he wanted and left his thoughts to the birds.

The red light’s looming hue casts in his eyes, clings to his wet skin and reflects off of his soaked hair. It does the same for Eunha, but in a much more morning glory overcast way that makes the city seem worth the toll it asks them to pay when they check in their freedom in exchange for something else entirely. There’s not an exact name for it, but her now visible smile makes picture perfect.

“I wanted to eat, but that’s ruined now with the fans on our tails and the rain. Too much exposure. I mean we could just go back to Dimensions and figure out somewhere to eat there, like takeout or something weird, unless one of the dorms works right now. That might raise more red flags though. A little risky..with our situations. I appreciate you already taking the risk to get me, Eunha.”

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

D a s o m. 

Even if Jinyoung hadn’t sounded so lethargic and downtrodden on the phone, Dasom would have been worried. He had asked her to come get him, which was always a cause for concern, especially when it was in the evening. She didn’t hesitate to get up from her seat in the studio though, grabbing her coat and her bag on her way out the door. He was one of her nearest and dearest friends, so of course she would jump at the drop of a hat for him.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” She questioned as she pushed the button to the elevator rapidly, as if that would make it arrive faster. His tone of voice still had her worried about him, and she was almost positive that everything was not okay. Dasom breathed out slowly at his words. “A lot on your mind?” That still wasn’t good, but it wasn’t as bad as she thought it was. At least he wasn’t in any immediate physical danger. She relaxed a little bit.

She stepped onto the elevator and pushed the button for the lobby floor, impatiently tapping her foot whilst she waited for the elevator to carry her to her next stop. “I can help with that, no problem.” She would always be there for him to listen to his problems and try to help him out as much as she could. That was what best friends were for, wasn’t it? “Ah, shit,” she grumbled under her breath at the sight of rain falling from the sky, pulling up her hood as soon as she stepped outside and rushing towards where she had parked her car earlier that day.

“Alright, I’ll see you very soon, okay?” She tossed her bag into the backseat and slid into the driver’s seat, hanging up her phone and starting the car. During the whole ride to the location where she would be picking up Jinyoung, she thought about places where they could eat. She knew that he would probably want a little bit of semblance of privacy, and she knew the perfect place for that. She pulled up at the location, rolling down the window of the passenger’s side. “Hey, hurry up in get in! We don’t need you getting sick in this weather.”

Between best friends, an unspoken give-and-take relationship keeps them drawn together and holds them close no matter the distance that builds. In a fast-paced industry, the amplitude of distance only worsens, but the formidable, casual bond Dasom and Jinyoung hasn’t failed them yet. The rain and his hushed call makes no difference either. 

The usual guilt Jin associates with reliance on others is dramatically numbed by the rain and it’s almost as if Dasom’s sweet, familiar voice is drowned by it too. Perhaps it’s his self-hearing, his ephemeral self-numbing in light of what he fails to recognize as sadness. Hopefully she has recognized it by now. It helps that she doesn’t make him say a word to explain himself. He’s not ready.

It’s the relief Jin feels at the sight of her car and the dissipating press unnerved by the rain and traffic that assures him that she’s assessed the situation and has a semblance of an idea as to what he needs right now. It’s enough for him to crack a smile, or more of a smirk when it comes to Jin, really, and he fills the comfort of the passenger’s seat with his tall form, looking like a guilty teddy bear out of place. “That’s your worry?” He chuckles as he tries to fit the seatbelt over his broad shoulder. “That I’ll get sick? Makes no difference to Dimensions.”

[fmdjinyoung-blog]

 A n n a.

Perfectionists were hard to stop from trying to do their own thing. Anna knows because she is one. A perfectionist with her work to the point you can say she’s obsessed with the whole idea of being perfect under the spotlight. That’s why she can’t blame Jinyoung for taking this all so seriously. Each cut was perfect. The same size as the one before it. “Oppa.” She calls for his attention. “Oppa, there’s no need to make perfect cuts. No one will criticize it. You’re just gonna pop it in your mouth later and chew on it. You wouldn’t even remember the size.” Anna tried to tell him, wanting him to just loosen up and do his thing. Not to be burdened with making things perfect because there was no need for it at all. No need.

“I wasn’t tensed.” Anna pouts. She was. She held her breath a little too long when he tied the apron for her. But will she admit that to him? No. Why would she? Why should she? “I was worried. There’s a difference. I was worried about your safety. Who knows if you decided to have a taste of your.. experiment.” Anna says while her hands were busy. Pouring this, adding that, mixing and checking the taste later on. She becomes focused, dissolving the granules in the sauce for the said meal. But then he takes her attention again. Anna places the bowl down for a moment and gently grabs Jinyoung’s arm. “Oppa.” Calmly and carefully, she tried to correct his posture. “You’ll get hurt doing that.” He’s not going to get hurt. Not under her watch. If he ever did, she’d probably sulk about it. For a long time. “Don’t lean so closely. You might get hurt, oppa.” Treating him differently as she would treat her friends. Maybe it’s because he’s on a different level in her eyes. Which, she can’t explain for now and she hasn’t taken time to think about it too much just yet.

She watches him, not wanting to get in the way of his work but also not wanting him to get hurt. While he’s still busy, Anna takes out what she needs for the soup. Preparing them for easier cooking. “Because..” She stops, staring at him, blinking. Wondering why she even said what she did but there was no turning back, right? “Let’s just say, I’m Aphrodite and to me, you’re Adonis. You’re sort of my favorite. I don’t want anyone else to call you Adonis because I’m done with things and people being taken away from me or walking away from me. That’s all.” She didn’t want to sound sad and pathetic but she probably already does. “I mean, if you don’t like it, I can stop calling you that.” Uneasy, Anna just falls quiet. She’s been too stressed as of late. “Who knows, maybe this jealousy is for the future? I might come to like you one day. Who knows?”

Jinyoung hums after she corrects his movements, trying his best to leisurely cut in front of Anna as to not worry her. There’s a tender, tense feeling in the kitchen and none of it comes from his awkwardness. It comes from the true emotion behind Anna’s words, the small intimacy between them with every bit of contact. It’s domestic, it’s shy, and it implies another feeling brewing, but it’s enough for Jinyoung to ignore for now.

“I won’t get hurt,” He laughs to break up the emotions in the air and finally relaxes his shoulders. Her movements are grace and water, his are calculation and stone, but they work just alright together and the sunlight in the air join them in the calmness. For once, he feels as though he belongs in the kitchen, behind a knife, and behind ingredients.

Jinyoung only looks up from his slicing when he notices her attention on him and the softness of her words. They’re brazen and he never would’ve expected her confession. The metaphor’s expanded into something else entirely and almost pinches his brows with confusion, but he manages to keep his stature steady and his expressions under control. “I’m your favorite? Hm,” he addresses firstly. “Aphrodite,” he knows he’s being bold as he passes the cuts over to her, “It’s fine. It really is. I don’t mind the name, but just..I’m not gonna walk always or leave. I don’t have a need for that. This isn’t anything you need to worry about, so. Like you told me, relax.”

[fmdjinyoung-blog]