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[fmdminjae]

phew y’all might ACTUALLY want to read this one, for once a jada ooc post has something important to say….

                                                clickity click here!

[fmdminjae]

[fmdminjae]

scenario: minjae’s first inspiration, the one’s who brought him into the world - his parents. word count: 842 notes: yeah i don’t like this....at all, we gonna edit this later. also i’m trying to work on a graphic for this it’ll be up tonight!!

to coworkers, they’re mr. and mrs. lee, who did everything they could to achieve success. to friends, they were the beloved junghoo and kyunghee, leading with a smile wherever they went. to each other, they were honey, darling, sweetheart, all the pet names in the book. but to minjae, their eldest child?

to him they were much more. they were a kind couple, neither standing taller than 170 centimeters, but with hearts twice as big. his number one fans at dance recitals, a passion which they’d vowed not to support but wouldn’t miss his performances for the world. the ones he loved so much as a reliant toddler, but came to loathe as he searched for his independence. yet, the certain fondness he’d felt for his parents was something even anger couldn’t take away. because at the end of the day, when he’d done all he could for mars and looked out for all his youngest friends, they were the only ones that would coddle him to death. they were the ones who taught him to care.

minjae knew not everyone he’d encountered had been as blessed in the parental field, and therefore decided to take on the role wherever he went. why? his father had been the same way. alone by the age of sixteen, reliant on himself and only himself for survival. the time leading up to that had been filled with nothing but verbal abuse and neglect, leading junghoo to step out of what had been “home” straight into kyunghee, a fellow classmate’s arms. she was everything he wasn’t - kind, forgiving, and generous - yet it all seemed to be projected onto him whenever she was around. their love was a simple, yet endlessly complicated one. their feelings were mutual, but the odds against them were almost too much to bear.

almost. love isn’t always kind, but it is patient, for the five years they’d wandered around each other’s lives, pushing and pulling hadn’t been in vein. during the spring, when the cherry blossoms were the most beautiful in their home of jinhae-gu, they held a simple wedding ceremony. the following years would prove to be the most crucial in developing minjae into who he was.

lee junghoo - his father. as soon as minjae had come out the womb, it was as if the man was changed into an entirely different person. a son. he’d prayed and prayed, and to his wife’s surprise, they had been answered. while kyunghee saw this as just another traditional, patriarchal way of thinking, it wasn’t that at all. his father had wanted a chance to start bover. to be everything that he hadn’t had. so, from the time minjae was no more than a babbling toddler, to the time he was constantly on his feet, he made it his mission to be the parent he never had. to care, to teach, to love. of course, there were the other times. when minjae swore if his father yelled at him from one more thing, he’d be out. when his father practically shunned him from the family for choosing the path of dance over medicine. but minjae knew the stories. he knew his father wasn’t always perfect. but it was his ability to become a better man, and to do whatever he could to be a good provider to his son which inspired minjae to do the same with others.

then there was lee, formerly im kyunghee - his mother. she’d been born and raised the town sweetheart, not coming from much but exuding so much love and kindness that even the richest of rich saw past that. her spirit was something that couldn’t be tamed, and one that ultimately inspired the loving side of him. she came from a family that valued love over all things, and in turn gave that to her husband and children. the woman had a wild soul, one filled with such passion and stubbornness that she’d managed to tame the lion that was her husband. but it was her softer self, the one with such gentleness and care, that made her into who she was. any mistake, any slip, any tears that managed to come out of minjae were always washed away with a smile. even through his raging teenage years, when he was about as difficult to care for as a bonsai, kyunghee was patient and tried to find the best solution for him. it was her loving soul and undying faith in even the most hopeless of souls that inspired minjae to look past a person’s scars.

even though the idol's travelled far from jinhae-gu, there’s always a part of minjae’s parents taken wherever he goes. because what would he be without him? as an artist. they’ve taught him to work hard for what he wants and be bold. as a person, they taught him to lead mars with confidence and a smile. that no matter what, he had to make sure they were great. because the love they give is a gift too precious to go unshared.

[fmdminjae]

 lee.minj the weather’s really chilly today, right? but i’ve been out all morning getting some fresh air! i’ve been thinking about what book recommendation to give you guys this week...and i think today it’ll be black flower! i’ve always been one for historical fiction, anyways.~

                                      View all 175,842 comments

streambeessomething  oppa....i’m an international fan, but isn’t it your birthday today?         ↪  dimenstarcity  it is, i can’t belive out baby’s a year older!!! #happyminjaeday predebutashwasiconic95 i love your outfit!! you look so classy, i’m in awe~~~ ha.hanana i have that book omg!!! it’s a good read, but i’m shocked he recommended it!        ↪ lee.minj do you? i’m glad you liked it!                ↪ ha.hanana did he RESPOND???? everyone screenshot this i’m sHoOk marsmaaarsmars you’re right, it’s freezing!! you need to bundle up, or else you’ll freeze!!        ↪ lee.minj shh don’t tell mom i’m not wearing a coat :o rem.ember14 WE LOVE YOU OUR BIGGEST BABY STOP GROWING <3333

[fmdminjae]

𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳!

“i swear....all you guys do whatever you please. do you think you have some sort of superpower, or something?”  minjae grumbled, moving to the other side of his couch to press the ice pack onto sooyeon’s knee. had he become a clinic, or something? it seemed that sohyun, and plenty of others felt that instead of going to a doctor as they should, they’d be better of getting help on their own. minjae had no problem with it - he was the self-procliamed caretaker of all those idols who were younger than him or just needed a hand. but he hated seeing sohyun in pain and not doing anything about it.

“i understand you don’t want everyone to know you’re hurt. but....this is pretty serious,” he admitted, looking down with concern as shades of indigo began coloring her wound. gently, he propped her leg up on the coffee table in front of them, as his beloved pet kitten watched curiously.

“look, even danbi’s worried. how’d you do this, was it at practice?” sitting alongside her, minjae meets her eyes once more. “i know you want me to keep quiet, but....” voice trailing off, the male frowned, the sight of the injury causing him to become upset. “i just don’t see how something like this can go unnoticed.”

@fmdsohyun

[fmdminjae]

date: august of 2008 location: jinhae-gu, south korea scenario: minjae experiences his first, high school love. word count: 1,531 notes: this mildly discusses issues with sexuality!! so if that triggers you in any way, i advise you don’t read this! & hey PLEASE click here to read it on mobile bc i’m changing minjae’s theme atm and it’s gonna look so bad if you don’t!!

“kang jinwoo.”

“huh?”

“kang jinwoo,” a voice repeats,  interrupting your reading with an extended hand covering the book you’d been so into. looking up, you notice a boy, presumably a student, staring down at you. while you couldn’t be bothered to put on more than a sweater and jeans, this jinwoo...looks different. trendy. sporting a loud jacket, black jeans, and a graphic tee, he’s everything you aren’t - bold. the thought excites you, and yet you remain weary as your hands interlock, greeting each other.

“i’m...minjae,” a younger, naive you croaks, voice coming out much more inwardly than you’d  like. “lee minjae.” it’s like candy to your company, and with a grin he repeats the name as if it were something foreign.

“lee minjae? it’s cute.” cute? guys aren’t cute, you think, but a part of you believes it’s simply your brain forcing you to believe things that aren’t true. because when he says it, you feel like your heart’s been told to beat just a little faster.

“i-thanks.” you’re still not too good with words, all these years later. “have we met before, jinwoo? you look like a high schooler, and i’m sure i would notice you if we were classmates. jinhae-gu’s not too big, anyways.”

your companion grins, shaking his head. “we haven’t, but i saw you earlier today and thought you looked nice. it’s my first day here, i’m from seoul.” even though the city’s only hours away from your own, the thought makes you feel like you’ve met a boy from a different country. he certainly stands out, that’s for sure - that dialect he’d always envied, how he looked like he’d stepped fresh out a tv show, and how he makes your heart flutter.

no, not that. it can’t be.

or...could it?

“i’m not all too smart,” he admits, interrupting all those thoughts cluttered in your head. “so i was wondering...could you help me with some stuff? i’m in my third year of high school, are you too?”

you aren’t, but you do help. your brain’s been a year ahead for your whole life, anyways. with ease, you begin to help the older to understand. just an hour, he says, i’ll get out of your hair soon. but before the two of you notice, the librarian taps your shoulder and reminds you they’ll be closing in ten minutes.

three hours. swept away like three minutes.

and that’s just the first time. after that there’s a second, a third, a fourth. each a little less school-oriented, days of tutoring exchanged for evenings of laughing and crimson cheeks. without much discussion, you’ve moved your meeting spot to his house. perhaps it’s his devilish smile, proposing something more even you can’t pass up. or maybe it’s the gleam in his eyes, proving he’s no bigger threat than a burmese.

those months, spent together with him are the best of your teenage life. under the dim yellow lights of his room, surrounded by posters of bands you wish you were cool enough to know about. there wasn’t a care you possessed, living like that. until the day came, the one you haven’t yet erased from your mind a decade later.

“have you…ever kissed a guy?” he asks, eyes looking not at you but instead fixed upon the wall of the room. you freeze, finally forced to confront the thing that had been haunting you since he showed his face all those months back.

“of course not. why would i?” you ask. while you laugh, it’s out of fear, rather than true amusement. fear that he knows. because when he turns to face you, he’s nothing but doubt, seeing through all your walls you’ve put up. doubt. never has your vulnerability been so frightening.

“i’m serious, minjae, you haven’t...thought about it? ever? wanted to see what it’s like, just once?” it’s like he’s reading right through you, everything you’ve been dying to confess. heart palpitating, sweat forming on your forehead. you find no way to lie your way out of it, especially with the one you’ve been dying to kiss just once staring you down. shrugging, voice as meek as a stage frightened child, you mutter. “maybe.”, then the world explodes.

“then can we?” he asks, awaiting your response. but nothing comes out. faces centimeters apart, each’s eyes trained on the other’s lips. and to think you thought girls made you nervous. this was completely new terrain, and the pure unfamiliarity sent you into a wave of emotions. despite all the confusion, you know, just know that it’s what you want. so, after a probable hour of silence you nod your head in consent.

and that was the day you had your first kiss. who would’ve thought? those immature crushes on your classmates, those girls who’d quietly confessed their feelings for you, none of it had ever amounted to something as big as this. a kiss. something so magical, that had always been the antidote to all problems in the books you surrounded yourself with finally turned into something more. something real. when the two of you pull away, you expect regret. embarrassment. disgust. but they don’t come. the bubbly feeling in your chest doesn’t subside, and you surprise yourself and jinwoo when you lean in once more.

and oddly, it’s….fine, between you two. like nothing’s changed. it’s as if the kiss took away any tension you ever had. neither of you mentions it, or any of the other moments you share, to anyone but yourselves. but no one can deny that you haven’t grown closer. the months leading up to the end of the term are spent side by side in the halls, apart only to go to your respective classes. even when the bell rings and everyone heads home, you two are the last to go. lingering in the streets, hoping for just a few more minutes together. you have dance at 7. he has to be home by 8.  you come up with a compromise, one where he walks you all the way to dance and dashes home to make it in time. you swear it’s the cutest thing ever, watching him wave you goodbye as he jogs in the opposite direction. you pray moments like this last forever.

but they can’t. no matter how naive you are, you know all good things come to an end. the reality of graduation washes over you two, and before you know it he’s packing up for college.

“so this is….really happening? you’re going back to seoul?”

there’s a lingering silence. for once, you hate how quiet it is. because it makes you realize that there’s nothing left to be said, nothing left to be done. his decision is made.

“mm,” he answers shortly, not wanting to linger on the subject. “you’re all that’s here for me, minjae. i wasn’t meant for small towns, they’ve never been my style.”

you want to scream, aren’t i worth staying for? but you don’t. because you refuse to be selfish. if anything, you know what it’s like to be constrained, son to parents who want anything but for you to fulfill your biggest dream - to dance. you don’t want to clip jinwoo’s wings, too. so you nod, smile, and whisper the words you mean but hate to admit. “you should go, then. to seoul, i mean. i want you to be happy.”

so he does.

as soon as he’s out of your grasp, you cling to his social media for any updates, seeing what life’s like now that he’s back in the city. reuniting with friends, trying new things, doing everything you wish you could. instead, you stay behind, studying all night and waiting for the day you’ll feel as free as him. you two call, but as time passes so does the time between you two’s conversations. he’s a young adult, wandering as he pleases around the country. you’re still a student, working hard to stay afloat and graduate. two utterly different paths, not destined to cross again.

so you do what you promise to do, and let him go. soon, you’re off to college too, and you feel even more free than you thought he was. travelling to a new country, studying abroad and having the best time of your life. becoming an idol, something you would’ve never fathomed just a few years before, has become all too real to you now.

you let him go. but you don’t let yourself forget.

even after all this time, when asked about your first crushes and your ideal types his face crosses your mind. you smile, and answer with some celebrity’s name to appease your audience. but you wonder where he is. how he’s doing. if he’s watching you on tv with the same bittersweet feeling you’d once had towards him.  

has he forgotten your name? the days and nights of a better time, hands interlocked and eyes peering at one another? has he erased the feeling of your lips connecting from his mind, or how it made the world feel like it was on fire? you hope he hasn’t.

because you won’t. you never forget your first love.

[fmdminjae]

.

[fmdminjae]

𝘳𝘦𝘮

“ i don’t know if i even deserve any of this. ” not when he had almost ruined mars with what happened the dreaded night of halloween, not when he couldn’t even bear himself to react when the ceo gave the news of the collaboration with the very junsu who broke his heart. four 1s laid flat and almost ominous on the older’s phone and he felt himself almost wheezing. “ i… guess nothing can go more shit than it already had right?. ” and a wish on a blown-away candle wasn’t going to revert time and have himself and junsu never break up.

“come on, rem. if anyone in this entire building deserves some doting on, it’s you.” the phrase couldn’t be any closer to the truth, in minjae’s eyes. he felt awful, knowing that ahreum had put the entire burden of his breakup on himself to bare. what could minjae do? he’d tried everything - from food, to conversations, and finally resorting to an extravagant birthday party. minjae, of course, would never back down when it came to the ones he truly cared about.

“that’s the spirit! i...think.” the logic in minjae was screaming that yes, things could be worse, and that as bad as it seemed there were always bad things out there. but, feeling it wasn’t the proper time, he nodded his head with approval. “when you’re in a rut, the only place you can go is up. but you have to at least try,” the older encouraged, reciting the words he’d been told years before. 

“here, how about this. i’ll blow one of your candles out for you. see it as...minjae-hyung pushing you in the right direction.” the last part came out exaggerated, accompanied with a pat on the shoulder and a dramatized fatherly voice. “i’m giving you a boost, to get you out of your rut. it’s up to you to do the rest.” maybe it was his parent’s usage of folktales and myths, or perhaps his childhood obsession with reading that got him so into using metaphors in every teaching moment. but despite his fatherly tone, there was a method to his madness. of course, he had no problem fighting for ahreum. he always had. but he wanted to be sure, that whenever he wasn't around to do the job himself ahreum would know he was doing just fine.

[fmdminjae]

𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳! date: december 13th, 2018

“you’re not going to let your candles burn out...are you?”

the eldest took a seat across from ahreum, expectantly eyeing both him and the cake. the hours before had been...hectic, to say the least. all the mars boys and some had crowded into the dorms to celebrate the rapper’s birthday, filled with friends, food, and festivities minjae had started worrying over weeks prior. despite the stress, it’d turned out pleasantly well and everyone had (eventually) headed home with full stomachs and smiles on their face.

while it had all been nice, there was...something missing. between practice, performances, and all of mars’ hustle and bustle, there were few times he could just...be, with ahreum. any time spent together was either accompanied by five overgrown boys or relating to some upcoming promotion.  minjae knew that before anything else, he just wanted to spend some one on one time with the younger member for his birthday. especially considering the events as of recent. so, after the party he’d invited the other to his apartment for some downtime before the clock struck twelve and the day was up.

‘i would’ve bought a cake, but...i knew that’d be a hassle. plus, i’d like to think i’ve gotten good at cooking after all the times you six have asked me.” the comment is followed by a grin, as he adjusts the candles meticulously placed atop the homemade cake. birthdays had always been a big deal for minjae’s family, ever since his parent’s celebration of his birthday,  their first child’s celebration. each party, while inexpensive, didn’t even slightly lack in extravagance, the two always putting extreme thought into the whole ordeal. he’d only passed the tradition on to mars. although they’d technically already had a party, and mostly everyone had come and gone, he didn’t neglect to hang decorations and bake a whole new cake for the separate celebration.

“come on, won’t you blow them? make a wish, hurry. my mom always says that if you made a wish at 11:11 on your birthday, it’s destined to come true.” in anticipation, he turns his phone, to reveal the same time painted across the screen. “i’d hurry, if i were you, rem.”

[fmdminjae]

[fmdminjae]

𝘳𝘦𝘮

that even now that he was standing right in front of minjae —with skin tattered in marks and chopped stains of glitter he was still trying so desperately to cover, with half-sweaty hair and eyes reddened up by the need for tears he was so much suppressing, the swollen lips still being even more bitten and the flinching at the juts of cold air through the silken shirt, unable to rise his head to face the other for he could already feel the horror and disappointment making him bleed— he knew what he truly deserved was nothing. he was going to be yelled at, to be called disgusting, and he knew he deserved it, all of it.

minjae, out of all people, thought he’d known what to expect. after all, it was ahreum. he knew ahreum. but looking up to see the broken man in front of him proved that no matter what, you could never fully know a person. because as much as he knew the younger had been holding something in, it took to see the pain staring him in his eyes to see just how much it was.

he liked to joke and call the mars members his kids - it was his brand to be the dad, anyways. but by ahreum looking so vulnerable, putting his emotions on display - whether by choice or not - - he really felt like he was a kid, and that he needed to cover all in the world that could hurt him. but he couldn’t. so instead, without saying a word, minjae embraces the younger so tightly he worries the other may lose his circulation. 

“god, you’re not invincible, ahreum,” he whispers, rearranging strands of hair to try abd piece back the ahreum he knew once again. “you didn’t have to hold it all in for so long.” and yet, the other boy’s said nothing. he just knows. minjae would know that look anywhere, the deep-rooted type of pain that could only be caused by withholding it for so long until it explodes. why hadn’t he seen it earlier? he would have given anything for it not to have gotten to this point.

 “i told you guys to come home by one,” he says, though instead of being disciplinary his tone is filled with gentleness. “i knew you idiots would get into something if i didn’t.” because behind the tattered clothes, ruffled hair, and pain-inflected face, that was ahreum. he knew that much. and if one thing was sure, it was that there was no room in the rapper’s heart for a lecture right now.

[fmdminjae]

𝘫𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘶 

When he heard it ring a second time he actually gets out of his bed and walks out to the front of his apartment. He made sure he looked decent before he opened the door. He blinks when he sees it wasn’t his manager or any of his group members at the door. It was Minjae. “So, I’m guessing you’re here to yell at me or something around there?”

just as he’s spinning around to leave, the sound of a doorknob turning returns his attention forward. as the door opens, the male sighed and curses himself for even coming, thinking that perhaps it was a bad idea. right in front of his eyes was junsu himself, and without trying to disguise his intentions he stared straight into the origin member’s eyes.

“good morning to you too. i’m doing fine, thanks. oh, and thanks for welcoming me to your house.” muttering sarcastically, the older sucks his teeth as he feels instantly agitated. minjae was hardly a bitter person, but he just couldn’t hide his distaste towards the other. while he didn’t know everything that’d gone on between them, he did know that ahreum’s sadness the past few days had resulted from the breakup in one way or another. that, if anything, made him feel that his behavior was just. after all, ahreum had only asked him to retrieve the wings - he’d never promised to be particularly friendly.

“do you want me to yell?” the male asked, stepping closer to the doorframe. breathe, minjae. “look, i’m just here to get ahreum’s wings. he left them here a few days ago, you haven’t forgotten about that right? anyways, that’s all i need from you. trust me, i don’t want to spend any longer here than i have to either.” 

[fmdminjae]

okay i forgot to mention that all these starters i’m getting out may be out of order from the likes!! i’m kind of just writing them as inspiration strikes & i have the muse, or just writing them as i see them. so dw i’m not skipping over any of you <3

[fmdminjae]

𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳! date: november 3rd, 2018

➳ now this was awkward. why, why did ahreum have to leave his wings at junsu’s place? ahreum swore they were too important to leave behind, and yet didn’t have the strength to face junsu. the compromise? minjae had been sent, as some god-forsaken middleman, to retrieve the costume piece. it was...awful, to say the least. not only did he have to face the misery of realizing how the wings had got there in the first place, he was also forced to come face to face with the younger mars member’s ex. great. 

thankfully, the days between their interaction and now had been far enough to let some tension be released.  still, it was a stretch to say things had reverted to as they once were, and the leader felt awkward as ever walking up the stairs to approach junsu’s apartment.  after all, they hadn’t even formally met, and their one true connection was through ahreum himself.

“um...hello? is anyone home?” the male asked, pressing the button to ring the bell. he was feeling both incredibly embarrassed and defensive, but nevertheless planted his feet into the ground below him. he wasn’t going anywhere without those wings, he swore. but as the time spent waiting for a response became increasingly long, his head became filled with misgiving and a desire to head home. “seriously,” he whispered to himself, ringing the bell once more. “if i’ve wasted my time sitting out here for nothing, i’m never doing ahreum a favor again.”

@fmdjunsu

[fmdminjae]

starter call!! okay so since a lot of my threads are currently getting plotted out, and they’re pretty complex, i’d like to get some quick, simpler starters out there for my muses!! so if you’re down to get a free starter, just like this post! if you have a specific theme or muse of mine in mind (i have 3 - minjae, luna, and phoenix)  just comment and tell me. otherwise, i’ll kind of circulate through the 3 randomly. they all need some activity so i’d love to get some things started up!~

[fmdminjae]

[fmdminjae]

𝘳𝘦𝘮

he tried to type quickly, not even really checking for typos. he only wanted minjae not to hate him. to take him home and hug him and tell him everything was fine —that he had to endure just a little bit more because healing was really that close even when he just made something like a hundred steps back according to the coping scale.

minjae’s halfway out the door of his apartment, not knowing where to even go before his notifications stopped him. turning on the phone, he looked past the previous texts, only to see the most recent on top. i am at my ex’s. origin’s prophet’s place. he’d read it, plenty of times, and yet each time the sentence sounded a little more unbelievable. there was no way. no way. he would’ve known something like this, right? was he so blind, to not see a relationship come and go for someone he saw every day?

it wasn’t about who it was, when it was, how long it was - none of it mattered to him. all minjae cared about was if ahreum had been hurt by it, what had gone on at that party, and if and when he needed to have a discussion with prophet. he could tell that today was not the day though, so for ahreum’s sake, tried his best to calm down. but his head was spinning, and the dreaded feeling he despised washed over him - he didn’t know what to do. 

it was better not to tell the other boys...right? this was something minjae wanted to handle on his own, just him and ahreum. he swore not to tell any of the others without the rapper’s permission, and dashed to the car with an address and a dozen of thoughts on his mind. he wasn’t mad. he wasn’t even surprised. they were grown men, and the leader knew they must have snuck off and gotten into relationships some time or another. but with ahreum, something didn’t seem right. even through his texts it felt deeper, more serious. 

before he even knew he’d turned the car on, he looked up to see he was parked in front of the apartment complex he presumed ahreum was at. hopping out the car with a mask, he looked to check it was the address before leaning against the hood. in his eyes, it was better than waltzing in, and he wasn’t too sure he even had the self-control.

( to — ahreum ☼) i’m here, in the parking lot, but i think you should come out. it’s not a good idea for me to come in right now.