fnvmademysoul - Tumblr blog

[fnvmademysoul]

OMG AAA

wading on you :/ inspired by johnny cash

[fnvmademysoul]

Have any platonic Joshua and courier headcanons???

Woohoo! Yes!

Lots of just kinda existing in the vicinity of eachother as they do stuff. Like Joshua reads his Bible stuff or works on his massive collection of guns and The Courier fiddles around with their Pip-Boy or stitches up the holes in their clothes. Not really talking to eachother just existing. (Yes this is bonding time.)

Courier making sure to check in on Joshua at least semi-regularly while in Zion. Like after going around doin shit all day, they go to find Joshy boy and ask about his day, Its 90% of the time the same thing, but Joshua appreciates it.

"Look at this cool rock I found Joshua, Look at it." Lots of that. Joshua's collection of "cool rocks" is almost as big as his colleciton of .45s. Joshua does secretly appreciate that The Courier is thinking to show even insignificant things to him, like rocks and such, and that The Courier gives them to him!

[fnvmademysoul]

Pray with me.

[fnvmademysoul]

Y'know, given Joshua Graham's model in FNV, I've thought a lot about the very-real possibility that everything but his face is severely burned.

He has clear, evidently mostly-unblemished facial features, as opposed to the burned red you can see elsewhere between the gaps in his bandaging.

He has eyebrows and his eyelashes, even. You can see normal, unburned skin on his face.

Which has led me to believe that he's not actually burned on his face, or at least, not severely.

I've come to HC that he's got burns on one cheek and likely, the worst of his burns are on his extremities. His feet, his hands- rather than much of anything else.

His hands and feet are probably the worst, followed by his forearms and calves, but it's mostly just scarred, pale skin on his torso, thighs, biceps, and shoulders.

It just makes sense, given what we see of his face.

[fnvmademysoul]

joshua graham artists need to get crazy with it cuz this is literally what the pools look like for mormon baptisms for the dead

[fnvmademysoul]

'not everyone can speak latin' for the ask ❤️👀

I’m very happy you sent me this. Thank you ❤️

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way? I love Joshua Graham, but I’m a picky reader and fuss about how people write Joshua. He is not a good man. He didn’t leave the Legion, the Legion tried to kill him off, and that shows in his personality. But he is very much human, and he is starting to have feelings for this woman that he sees as a different version of himself. A version that joined the NCR and didn’t start the Legion.2. What scene did you first put down? Shameless drunk smut in a rangers cabin. It all went down hill from there.6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics? It’s the one fic I keep updating. I wish I did it more, but this is one fic that I’ve written the most.7: Where did the title come from? My Latin is shit. I know Joshua speaks it well, but I’m not impressed by it. And then, there is Maria, who is a doctor, probably knows 10 words in Latin, and says those exact words to Joshua whenever Joshua speaks it to her or someone else.8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it? Yes? I’m not sure. I’ve seen some bullshit that I based some chapters on.9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic? Yes. There is a failed attempt at making this fic. It has 3 chapters on it, and it’s long abandoned. I’ve written almost everything for the old fic ideas on the new one.10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story? I really love Joshua. And Maria is the character i have the most play time on. I did all the factions with her, and once day, I found a companion Joshua mod, and it inspired me to start writing about this two fools that might find out that they love each other someday.11: What do you like best about this fic? That people read it and like it enough to comment on it.12: What do you like least about this fic? That I can’t update it as much as I want to. I have a lot of unfinished chapters, but it takes me so long to sit down and finish it.13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading? I have one shitty playlist on spotify, that is basically old country music, gospel country music, old Brazilian music, and Rick Martin songs.14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic? That I love them for reading my fic.15: What did you learn from writing this fic? Nothing really. I don’t do deep research for the stuff I write.

[fnvmademysoul]

[fnvmademysoul]

i swear trying to write joshua is always such a mess for me because do i write him as

a. a man who hasn’t really changed at all and whose evil nature is thinly veiled behind an idea of spiritual redemption he clings to desperately and almost crazed ramblings about morality and sin

b. a self-loathing old man who truly regrets what he had done and treats his wounds and dysfunction as a constant punishment for the sinful life that he has lead, constantly plagued by regret as a result of losing his chance with important ideas in his life such as marriage and children.

c. a man who has genuinely changed for the better, acknowledges his sin, and looks to religion as a guidance for trying to understand what he has done and how he has hurt people and is trying do take all he can for his chance at moral redemption, feeling regret but accepting that such regrets were his own fault and the result of his choices

i feel like they’re all such interesting pathways to explore and i’ve seen all three of these ideas in fics and they’re all really, really amazing. I just don’t know what to pick.

I also feel like with my courier each idea changes their relationship so much.

she would be obsessed with the idea of a joshua who hasn’t changed because he would remind her of her father so much that she forms an unhealthy attachment to him/joshua views her as subordinate and yet another thing for him to do with as he pleases because she is a woman and thus beneath him.

a self-pitying joshua would be the only way that they could have any form of relationship beyond colleagues because that’s the only way he could allow moral compromise.

a “redeemed” joshua would give her comfort and allow her to realise that she can forgive herself for mistakes she made as a younger woman even if they are not on the same scale as joshua’s sin.

I DONT KNOW. i honestly find the way people write joshua to be more interesting than his in game character. there’s so much up for interpretation. i’m currently trying to figure out how to blend all three of these ideas together.

[fnvmademysoul]

WHO WANTS TO SEE MY FISRT VULPES INCULTA ART

Of course you wanna see it, here it is!!!!

now that I have distracted you with this cringe, I can go back to my depression naps until art starts arting

[fnvmademysoul]

graham ^_^

[fnvmademysoul]

the two worst and irredeemable men make each other miserable for years and make it everyone elses problem, hundreds dead, a courier struggling

[fnvmademysoul]

teamwork

holster your weapon at gomorrah

[fnvmademysoul]

no light is fake, this is the au we truly needed

[fnvmademysoul]

Another doodle compilation, feat. @fallout-lou-begas​‘ Agnes Sands

bonus:

[fnvmademysoul]

The only emotional spectrum I can relate to

[fnvmademysoul]

ahh sometimes I gotta draw sweet things

Joshua is a much more involved parent than I think a lot of people would give him credit for. Joan might be saddled with all the dull home stuff like cooking and keeping track of things, but the kiddos have always been priority number one for him

[fnvmademysoul]

making even the most tentative connection between Joshua Graham and Uncle Iroh is probably the actual worst crime I’ve ever committed