foamingsilence

[foamingsilence]

wandering

[foamingsilence]

[foamingsilence]

you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.

[foamingsilence]

每到 Armenian Church, 我都会捐$2, 用他们所提供的蜡烛点燃一盏烛光。这蜡烛代替了我，为我身边所需要的人祷告，而我也渐渐养成了为你祷告的习惯。 几年前的我很无助，不晓得怎么帮助你，怎么鼓励你，经过了圣殿才恍然发现了这"祈祷蜡烛"。当时的我为你的病情担忧，为你害怕，有点慌乱地点燃了蜡烛，烛光就在那状态下开始发亮的。 几年后的我也很无助，仍然气馁。我还是无法原谅你对我的伤害，而你也与我一样，无法原谅我对你的忽略。最终，转了一圈，我们回到了原点。我还在那间圣殿，依然等待着，依然祷告着。 原谅。说来容易，做来难。 或许这蜡烛是为我倆的心灵祷告着，祈求我们能学会释怀，学会宽恕过去的伤痛，重新拼回这友谊的拼图。 又或许我们也像蜡烛般，发亮后便悄悄地消失了，逝去的从前，也从此忘记了。

[foamingsilence]

今天我发现原来在英国拾起的勇气没我想象中的坚强，我的心还是如往常一样脆弱。人的嘴巴很厉害，任凭一个字就可以毁了一生。有时候我真想问耶稣，如果当初把人类的嘴巴封闭死了不就没有罪孽了吗? 不需要十字架上的牺牲，不需要宝血的救赎，人或神都不需要经过挫折或灾难，幸福美满的结局就轻易实现了。但人生并非如此，这风波连续不休。有时候真想说我累了。好不容易克服了之前的心结，为什么现在要赠送我多一份纠结呢? 我明白，经过这些考验的我才会真正修炼好了成熟，但有时候我真的打从心里地希望眼前的路能少了些弯曲，多一些捷径。我真希望自己再发挥光芒的同时不会消耗自己的精力，真希望爱一人能凭自己的意志力，不需要无条件的付出。 长大了，开始怕了。会怕失去，怕难过，怕人生的美梦会被现实的诙谐破碎，而人类怕的时候就会开始犯错，做事不再经过大脑，只会冲动，莽撞，不再理智地思考。三思而行仅是字典里的四个字，毫无意义。是因为怕了吗? 连我也不敢说这完全是因为我害怕。是我笨吧! 老是重复过错，不会吸取教训，像一套被损坏的音乐带，老是播放着过去的歌谣，无法触碰现实的舞台。面对着广大的听众，我一个音符也发不出。 有时候，我宁愿寂寞。一个人总比待在这风暴中更好。

[foamingsilence]

I remember the bitter cold when I waited in the howling winds for an hour to pass so I could ask the receptionist where Duryard Hall could be. I remember moving in and realising I had nothing with me, no pans, no quilts. No - thing to my name. And as I was shivering in my room, I remembered thinking that this wasn't home. Yet four months have passed and now I'm staring at this fifteen square feet of space, wondering and marvelling at the sheer number of possessions that are scattered all over the place. And as I am picking up the pieces and stuffing them all into my suitcase, I realised just how much I had in excess that needed to be thrown away. Packing is difficult. It is hard to stuff your life of four months into a red suitcase with limited space, so I take a breather for a bit and look around me. The room feels raw. Stripped bare, the wardrobe seems a little too big, the space a little too empty, the lights a little too bright for me. It's funny. I spend every day of my time here counting down the dates I could return home and be back in Singapore, but now standing here in this empty room, I find myself wishing that time will stop and freeze for a moment, just for a little while so I wouldn't have to leave. I stare at my bed and realise that this is the last time I'm going to sleep on it. And as I feel tears welling up in my eyes, as my fingers tremble to zip up that last zip in my suitcase, I realised that this space, the room that wasn't supposed to be home, had somehow wormed its way into my heart and became what it wasn't meant to be. And even though I'm leaving to return to Singapore, it still feels like I'm leaving a huge part of me behind, something that I can never find back again. I will miss Exeter. And it is this revelation that startles me. (at Duryard Grange Residential Home)

[foamingsilence]

缘分真的很不可思议... 我记得我们当初自见面时的尴尬 那天的风很冷 雨也陆续不停 我像野狗般闯进了餐馆里 领着一头湿透的头发 笑着跟你打了招呼:"嗨!" 你也不然而然地笑了。 就这样，我遇到了你。 交流的生活很孤独 每一天都是一场新的战争 不敢卸下心防的我 没法踏出自己的世界 笨拙 害怕 我的双手都在颤抖 躺在冰冷的床单上 我缩成了一米虾球 渴望着朋友的相伴 却没人回应我的哭诉。 我记得当时农历新年未到 但大家都一样思念着家乡 我们便决定一起吃火锅 相约了隔天在菜市场见面 我们一起细心挑选了材料 比较了价钱和新鲜度 虽然眼看是一个很平凡的日常活动 但却带给了我无数的温情和快乐 那天的我终于笑了。 命运似乎很喜欢捉弄人 就在我们谈得很来的时候 北风飘来了个坏消息 很简单的两个字: 车祸 你却在夜里泣不成声 赶上了航空 飞回了台湾 那时我记得恰好农历新年 但得知你家境的我们都没敢祝贺你 "新年快乐!" 四个字哽在喉咙 无法说出口。 几个星期后 你飞回了英国 我们又变回从前的亲切 欢笑 快乐 笑声连连 我挥手跟你说了再见 踏上了巴士 我到了著名的伦敦 看了出名的戏剧 日子似乎过得很威风 但快乐的时光却不能蔓延 隔天的我弄丢了信用卡 被骗走了整整400元 我的沮丧迎面着你的关心和安慰 我也渐渐恢复了毅力 决定乐观地面对一切。 仅仅四个月 风波却连续不休 我们都被折腾累了 以为在这里的生活很艰难 期待着回家的行程 但当时间真正开始倒数时 我们却充满着不舍和难过 说来真可笑! 谢谢你 Angela 谢谢你这份真诚的友谊! 在这个陌生的国家 你为大家制造出了家庭的温暖和关爱，谢谢你。 这个交流有你的陪伴真好! ❤

[foamingsilence]

I don't think we're meant to read stories painted on jugs if we can't see colours before.

[foamingsilence]

birds are migratory animals they leave even if you beg them to stay

[foamingsilence]

[foamingsilence]

🌿

[foamingsilence]

[foamingsilence]

hi

[foamingsilence]

s p r i n g

[foamingsilence]

My name is chef.

[foamingsilence]

Excellent chef I am.

[foamingsilence]

what an excellent chef I am.