foggyscholar

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my current inability to be home without attempting to leave the country or having an anxiety attack is probably a symptom of something, but right now it's making me an academic weapon because it's landed me semi-permanently in the library and exam szn is coming up, so i'm not too mad abt it

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being a 3rd year medstudent & also having massive grief trauma manifests as a complete and utter inability to be normal about my friends' health

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so it's actually official today. got my final exam grade in. i passed everything first try this semester.

it's the first time i really took my mental health seriously, like i said i didn't have time to - particularly last spring i said that, then ended up in a place so bad i realised i needed to make some radical changes in my life. still, i thought that would come somewhat at the expense of academical success. the opposite appears to have happened

i've managed to make it this far into the semester without failing anything, this pharma test better not break that streak......

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yk my excuse for not dealing w my mental health during the first two years of medschool was that i didn't have time - and it does take Time! it takes Energy! my mental health is a part-time job sometimes. but this year, i've taken it very seriously and it's the first semester i haven't failed anything. i'm doing well academically, and that's not coming at the cost of my mental health most of the time

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and it didn't

i've managed to make it this far into the semester without failing anything, this pharma test better not break that streak......

[foggyscholar]

i've managed to make it this far into the semester without failing anything, this pharma test better not break that streak......

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you've got two types of prof in medschool. one who will teach you how to use a pipette in your third year (as if you haven't spent more time in a lab than at home in the past two years) and another who will get mad at you for not already having a doctorate in pathology

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wild that taking electives isn't more popular. most people ik in medschool just do their mandatory 5 course credits (usually one course) and leave it at that

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fomenting reading books lately

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entering a very exciting time in my life rn (various friends are starting to publish their bachelor's/master's theses)

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just realised this blog doesn't have an intro post. anyway-

i'm lena, he/her, 4th year medstudent, planning on going into trauma surgery. i take a lot of electives for fun. currently on my second year of ancient greek, also studying spanish at B2-ish, and this semester i'm taking iconography. in addition to medschool i am a drag artist and writer, but mostly i talk about those on separate side blogs. i'm a pretty big reader, too; my favourite saint is st. sebastian, my favourite drinking game is chess; i did my high school research paper on death culture with a focus on environmentally friendly burial. i listen to the mountain goats and julien baker too much. i'm weird about god and gender. i'm a leftist dyke. i'm 22 :)

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IPASSEDIPASSEDIPASSEDIPASSED

t-2h to the physiology retake. the gut feeling is Pass which - it's usually right - but there's also a pretty big element of luck to how this goes, the questions i get. i've been studying non-stop since my last exam and i'm still studying, but i have not covered everything. there's just so much. i don't even care about the grade at this point so long as it's a passing one.

well, anyway. in 5 hours i get to sleep. barely remember what that's like, very excited.

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well i think i passed. but the grades will be posted i a few days and until then i won't know for 100% sure, but like. i Think i passed, i'm pretty sure it should at least be an E yk

t-2h to the physiology retake. the gut feeling is Pass which - it's usually right - but there's also a pretty big element of luck to how this goes, the questions i get. i've been studying non-stop since my last exam and i'm still studying, but i have not covered everything. there's just so much. i don't even care about the grade at this point so long as it's a passing one.

well, anyway. in 5 hours i get to sleep. barely remember what that's like, very excited.

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t-2h to the physiology retake. the gut feeling is Pass which - it's usually right - but there's also a pretty big element of luck to how this goes, the questions i get. i've been studying non-stop since my last exam and i'm still studying, but i have not covered everything. there's just so much. i don't even care about the grade at this point so long as it's a passing one.

well, anyway. in 5 hours i get to sleep. barely remember what that's like, very excited.

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bringing back the garfs for the end of this exam szn live-ish blog. i'm done w everything except physiology, i've gotten decent grades (all Bs, a C in microbio) but i still have to pass physiology

t-85h to the retake

i'm on day 2 of 5 of studying and - i've been studying a lot but i have not been moving Nearly fast enough. there is So much material it is genuinely harrowing. like a 6th of the year is retaking this exam which,, simultaneously makes me feel like less of a complete failure and terrifies me, because for a 6th of the year to fail...

it's Doable because it has to be, i can do it because i have to.

folks fearmonger microbio a lot and not entirely unfairly but that does largely overshadow the fact that physiology is the more content-heavy of the two. i think a lot of people underestimated it like i did.

but hey, i've pulled off some insane feats before

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Hey!! Just wanted to say that I am always reading your updates on your academic journey and get so excited when you finish and/or achieve something lol. Congrats on getting that fucking B!!

thanks for the congrats, i'm so happy about that B

this is sort of my rambling into the void sideblog where half the time i assume no one's reading but it's strangely lovely to know a stranger is rooting for me. i really appreciate it

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"ghrelin would make for a good name for a cat"

"did you eat breakfast today? [...] what kind of pudding?"

some of my favourite quotes from my medschool profs this year:

"PCR is not god's deputy on earth." "then paul the apostle made a 120° turn," "disinfection is NOT where you get rid of pathologists." "no, i'm not talking about human heart pies." (someone taking a while to answer) "the patient is already dead." "the carrot thing is war-time propaganda." (on the topic of lupus) "to survive a wolf encounter..."