fonix-girl

[fonix-girl]

your yearly reminder that Baby It’s Cold Outside is a song about a woman having CONSENSUAL sex, at a time when premarital sex was frowned upon. The female singer is offering up the token demurrals society expects her to, because it’s expected, not bc she doesn’t fully intend to stay and have awesome sex with a dude she’s into. The male singer knows this, and is in turn offering her an excuse to give to the neighbors in the morning (“it was too cold for me to go home, the only responsible thing to do was spend the night at his place. because of the weather, get your minds out of the gutter”). A 1950s audience would have understood all this, but the nuance gets lost in a modern age where women are actually allowed to say yes when they mean it.  

Also the “hey what’s in this drink” thing was a common joke at the time, where the punchline was that there was in fact nothing in the drink. the woman’s making a joke that she wouldn’t do this if she was sober, oh goodness no! it’s only a joke bc both she and the man are in on the punchline: she is sober, and is only staying bc she wants to

[fonix-girl]

"Witches riding non-broom cleaning implements" gag always funny, congratulations to everyone who has ever made some variant of this joke, please keep making it

[fonix-girl]

having adhd means i get special vip access to new emotions, such as Evil Boredom. its boredom but it turns me evil

[fonix-girl]

[fonix-girl]

[fonix-girl]

[fonix-girl]

don’t awoo

[fonix-girl]

Family: what do you want for Christmas?

Me: idk, dragon stuff?

every time someone is like ok make your christmas list im like well suddenly it turns out ive never desired anythign in my fucking life

[fonix-girl]

Sometimes kids are so oblivious or just don’t care, but oftentimes it’s they’re just more accepting. They don’t need hard answers because they’ll accept the easy one. I remember learning a lot of words for the LGBTQA+ and otherwise and my only reaction was “oh, so there is a word for it. Neat.”

"But won't children be confused by all the LGBT-"

Yesterday I saw a mother with a baby carriage, being followed by a girl of about 4-6 years old on a bicycle. The kid started ringing her bike bell like RING RING RING RING RING RING RING, and the mother turned to look behind them to see whether they were being followed by a cyclist who desperately needs to pass them for the sake of everyone's safety.

And the little girl - who just rang the goddamn bell herself 5 seconds ago - also turned to look.

Kids are confused by everything at all times. They don't know jack shit. About anything.

[fonix-girl]

i always forget my grandma used to be a clown so it caught me the fuck off guard when she saw this

and no hesitation saying “oh it’s that creepy clown- oh he’s drinking that’s against clown code”

[fonix-girl]

Okay so what DO you think is the right way??

Love seeing people debate how to make a cup of tea because even though I don't drink tea, I also have strong opinions on the 'right' way 😂

[fonix-girl]

[fonix-girl]

morticians

[fonix-girl]

One of my favorite human things

something sad but also kind of sweet ive noticed about human trait mirroring (i.e. seeing someone regularly preform a physical or verbal action and adapting it as your own) is that even years after a person has stopped being in my life theyve still left pieces of themself within me. i still smile and wave like my childhood best friend did. i still pull my shirts up to cover my face when im embarrassed because my favorite college roommate did that. ive learned how to be a human being through all those around me, and those after me will likely learn the same way too.

[fonix-girl]

So my husband is back on his medieval warfare and tactics special interest lately, and he was telling me about how so many battles were lost because the knights would just disobey orders and break ranks because they got too excited and just went full Leroy Jenkins. Prey drive switches on and they see somebody running and they just blank out and go.

Which seemed really dumb to me, like people couldn’t be that stupid, until I got walloped in the face by a memory from freshman year of college.

It’s almost 10pm in the dead of winter right before Finals, I’m out at college in a high altitude desert in the biggest city I’ve ever been in during my life. My dorm is on the second floor of one of the newest buildings, which are still surrounded by construction zones for the other new buildings going up. Just past the construction zones is one of the city’s major roads. There is still snow on the ground outside, the sidewalks are ice and rock salt, and the parking lot is a slush pile. (All of this is relevant in a minute I swear, stay with me here.)

We get a knock at the door. One of my roomies answers it. There’s 2 creepy looking muscle dudes asking for another roommate, E. E is creeped out and doesn’t want to go see them, but they won’t leave, insisting they see her and talk to her out in the hall. My spider senses are tingling, the social anxiety override kicks in, and I go full Mom Friend and ask them who they are and how they know her. And dudes just take off for the stairwell.

And I took off after them.

I need y’all to understand that I was an asthmatic at altitude in a mountain city in winter at night in shorts and a t-shirt and no shoes whatsoever, and I somehow made it down two flights of stairs, out the door, down the sidewalk, across a construction zone, across the parking lot, and halfway to the road screaming at two beardy dudebros twice my size to “get back here you little creeps”, all before I had consciously realized that I had left my apartment. Something about watching two creepy guys run for it triggered something in me, some latent instinct to Search and Destroy. Like Fight or Flight but I wasn’t the one being threatened, they were the ones doing the Flight, and I had this deep, ferocious need to FIGHT.

I full on blanked out, y’all. I literally have no memory of getting down the stairs or across the parking lot or anything at all until I was watching the headlights on the road thinking “wait, where are my shoes?” It’s a little black hole. I was in the apartment, they took off running, and then bam, there I was. It was like an out of body experience, I was hearing myself shout at them and thinking “I sound like such an idiot right now omg,” and then I realized What I Had Done.

Not only was it stupid, it was super dangerous. Even aside from all the environmental dangers, if they were some kind of kidnappers they could totally have snatched me. And yet there I was, barefoot in the snow and road salt with no phone, no inhaler, and I was still hollering after them like a dog on a chain when one of my roommates came down in boots and a coat to drag me back inside.

And honestly? I’m still miffed I never caught the guys. That was my takeaway from that incident.

So yes, I believe it now. People are so unbelievably dumb and the prey drive instinct is absolutely real.

[fonix-girl]

[fonix-girl]

The Untamed + text posts: Asexual Jiang Cheng #2 (4/?) (pt. 1) (ace JC pt. 2) (pt. 3) (pt. 5) (pt. 6) (pt. 7) (pt. 8) (pt. 9)  (pt. 10)  (pt.11) (pt. 12)  (pt. 13) (pt. 14) (pt. 15) (pt. 16)