for-hilbear

[for-hilbear]

I miss the feeling of missing her because that meant it felt closer. With more time now it doesn't feel as visceral and I hate it because it shows that time has passed. I want to reopen the wound. I want it to keep bleeding . I get distracted with life though and let it scab over. Maybe it will leave a cool scar.

[for-hilbear]

@ryebreadgf / The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi / bone deep, m.v.e / Sidewalk, Richard Silken / unknown / 60 hours, m.v.e / @itsblackleader / Salt, Nayyirah Waheed / @heavensghost

[for-hilbear]

[for-hilbear]

Why aren't you here.

[for-hilbear]

my dad likes to call the stretches of time where you’re not creating “dreaming periods” and says that they’re meant to allow you to absorb all of the beauty, life, and inspiration from the things around you so that when you’re able to create again, you will have fanned your spark back into a flame. sometimes its hard to see those moments as anything but stagnation, but he always says that they’re natural and healthy and needed—things that should be embraced rather than feared.

[for-hilbear]

Why do I feel jealous

[for-hilbear]

I wish I was this articulate.

I just want to yell.

Today was hard to get out of bed. I didn't shower like I was supposed to. I wore black. I almost wore the shirt I was wearing when my mom died.

I only told Arielle and Margaret about why I'm off tomorrow.

I hate that I'm on this highway of time and I'm getting further and farther away from you.

It's not fair

I want to talk to you about MHA

And chappell roan

And Billie eilish and dandadan and Abbott elementary and Angelina getting older and

And make poke fun at taytay together

And maybe find out about our adhd together

I keep having the dreams where Taylor gets remarried and it makes me ill. Obviously you and I want him to be happy. But it's another milestone of you missing.

[for-hilbear]

Ember went into the other room to talk about you at their bday party.

[for-hilbear]

This song is so lovely and wonderful, kill me now, I can’t. /)___(\ So putting sweety song with vikings dorks to feel better. Astrid wasn’t ready for that

pretty sure Hiccup is drunk

[for-hilbear]

Did you like Shouto because he was basically a cat?

[for-hilbear]

I hate that this is happening less frequently. It's not necessarily a reflection on the amount I think of you.

[for-hilbear]

I kind of hope I scared them off yesterday.

I will never not gush about you.

[for-hilbear]

I love you.

[for-hilbear]

I appreciate that you’re like, yeah, being famous is weird. People watch us. The best way I ever described it is every bar we ever walk into is a gay bar just for us. Every dude turns around and every girl’s like what the fuck? I do emphathize with women and understand what they must go through sometimes.

Joe Burrow: Yes, I say the same thing. I sometimes feel like a hot chick when I go out. Because guys are just looking at me.

[for-hilbear]

Pride and Prejudice (2005) + facts | part 2

[for-hilbear]

https://youtu.be/0NKUpo_xKyQ?si=n5r0UZNMEpiCQB6s

I'm watching Bridgerton and seeing sapphic subtext (hehe) and then they're playing a version of this song and I feel like my heart has been shot, a stabbing pain.

You're dead

I keep pining for a dead girl

And I never wont

[for-hilbear]

grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.