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1000 followers celebration <3 - request 7/10

you stared at him, wide-eyed, breath caught in your throat. rafayel was radiant in the moonlight, water clinging to his skin like liquid silver. his fins shimmered with violet-blue hues, bioluminescent veins pulsing beneath the surface. his fingers flexed against the stone. his gills fluttered with each deep breath.

“don’t look at me like that,” rafayel murmured, voice huskier in his true form—ancient, wild, and hungry. “you’ll make me forget how fragile you are.”

your hand reached out, brushing over the smooth scales at his waist. “…can we?” you whispered, cheeks burning. “like this?”

his sharp eyes glinted in the dark. “you want to fuck a sea god?” he growled softly, crowding you into the tidepool. “you sure you can take it, little land dweller?”

you nodded, eyes hazy with want.

rafayel curled his tail around you slowly, dragging you into the water, pressing your body against the warmth of his chest. his fingers traced your spine. “you have no idea what you’ve just asked for.”

his lips met yours in a hungry, deep kiss, tasting of salt and storms. and as he lowered you into the waves, wrapped in his coils, he whispered, “i’ll be gentle… until you beg me not to be.”

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You know how it all works. At least, you think you know how it all works.

"Feel that?" Ghost asks, his cock stretches you out almost painfully, and still you can feel most pressing against your entrance. Your stomach is full of him, your cervix nudged by the head of his fat cock as it finds a home buried deep inside. You shake your head against the pillows with a whine, your hips twitching as his hands pull your ass apart, kneading the soft flesh with rough callused fingers. "Feel that knot pressin' against ya so nicely?" His voice is shot, croaking with how rough it hits your ear. Your eyes roll as your lashes flutter, the heat of his words dripping down your spine liquor thick.

Your cunt throbs, pulses with needy pleasure as it squeezes tight around him. You want to touch, to reach a hand between you and stroke the hardened bud that seems to glow with heat. You want to feel over your stomach, see if he presses against you as heavily as you think, perhaps you could find his hard cock beneath all your softness. The thought sends a shiver through you. Libidinous desire isn't befitting of a princess.

And yet, Ghost circles his hips, grinding his knot against your entrance, and you feel that liquid desire drip from you. Hot and slick. You feel it like a fever drenching your skin, sticky with sweat and yearning.

"Let me in Princess," Ghost murmurs, leaning to press his weight against your back, "Lemme breed this li'le pussy, bet I get it my first try." The curve of his smile as his lips skate over your neck makes a whine bubble in your throat, deep and needy as the punch of his cock. "Can even help the process," he offers, lips parting to tease his teeth against the soft spot where your mating gland lies.

"Please-"

Your whimpered word jerks you awake. Sweat dampens the bed beneath you, the sheets sticking to your skin as your breath shudders through your chest. Fever blazes through your body, the air the tickles your skin is frigid and uncomfortable, and you gather the damp blankets back around you. Your thighs are wet with slick and your core pulses with sick desire. A cramp tightens in your stomach painfully, and you curl into yourself. You want Ghost, but heats aren't the time to be playing the lovesick fool.

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most think that simon comes home from missions or deployment and just smothers himself in his wife's plush titties and fucks your sweet cunt like a mad man - a desperate dog for completion after so much time apart.

and while that did happen, usually he was dead on his feet when he arrived home. his bag thrown onto the couch, his hands moved without thought to get his boots off - left by the door to be cleaned in the morning. then he trudged upstairs to your shared bedroom. you were close behind asking if he needed anything: food, water, a change of clothes, a bath. he just grunted in response, his eyes heavy. the dark circles were noticeable, even with his mask still on.

he at least was smart enough to get out of his well worn (smelly) military clothes before he face-planted into your bed. the mask taken off and throw somewhere in the room to hopefully be found later. his body curled into himself and he just relaxed for the first time in what felt like years.

you tried to ask him if he needed anything: the heat pad for his back, a face cloth to wipe the eye grease off, a pair of sweatpants, the biscuits that you went out to buy just for him.

he barely lifted his head off his pillow as he looked at you. he said bluntly, but in a gentle tone, "just get into bed with me, dove." he scratched the stubble on his chin, "come to bed and read me one of those cheesy books ya love so much."

everything could wait: a meal, a bath, sex, it could all wait. simon in that moment just needed one thing: to feel you in his arms once more <3

a/n: i can't wait to get my baby back!

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“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

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You have lived for months as a “pet” to a cruel vampire, and it has been miserable. You’ve nearly resigned to your fate when two new vampires show up to the residence claiming to be from VETH (Vampires for the Ethical Treatment of Humans).

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Ripped ghost truthers come to my doorsteps to die.

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That's right! Get a copy of So I Married an Alien early—and for free!—by applying to be an ARC reader!

What's an ARC? It's an advance copy of the book intended for review. Make sure that you have at least one active book review profile. (It's fine if it's empty! I just need to know you're real :)

Feel free to share with your friends, family, colleagues, and fellow alien perverts!

Artwork by Rowan Woodcock, cover by Theresa Chiechi

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Ozz, what is a more fun dynamic to draw/write?

Clueless reader x Monster or reader who is downright ~freaky~ x Monster

Ily bbg

Well, I've done both and I can tell you they're equally fun and interesting to explore! I think I gravitate more towards clueless readers in general for the comedy of it, but every now and then I'll flip the roles, like in the arranged marriage. We can also ask the people:

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I was on a panel at Monsterotica and one of the questions was, "what was your introduction to monsterfucking?" I have no filter so I admitted that I self-shipped with the Ninja Turtles when I was ten or eleven. then they asked which one I would pick.

your honor, I held up my book about four werewolf brothers all railing the same girl 😭

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I think cnc Tumblr porn helped me understand consent better. Like coercion is a brand of cnc, so when I noticed my partner said "I think" instead of yes, and arms pulled away even though other parts were responding, it reminded me of coercion cnc, which lead to a stop and discussion. I might be a bit of a horny fuck, (nothing wrong with that, just inconvenient right now), but is there a way to turn down arousal/libido? Depression, stress, and relationship issues seem to be the big ones on Google, but. Um. Yeah. I'm also worried that things I wouldn't put much weight in could be coercion. Like if I ask about sex they'll feel a time limit on when they have to say yes, or cuddling with them while asking will pressure them towards saying yes.

hi anon,

I'm gonna say first and foremost. let's maybe work on starting a new paragraph when we introduce a new idea. because some of these swerves hit like trucks and you gotta warn a bitch.

anyway, let's talk about it!

no, there's not a reliable way to decrease your libido. that happens to a lot of people via mental or physical health problems and stress, as you noted, as well as in response to some medications or other things that cause hormonal shifts. it's not really something that can be purposefully induced, no matter how irksome being horny may be. life is a series of annoyances.

re: your thoughts on coercion - listen, man, you're going down a bad rabbit hole here. do we want to follow this thought to its logical conclusion? then asking for anything is coercion, because it places pressure on the other person to say yes or risk disappointing you.

when my wife asks me if I want to watch an episode on Once Upon a Time with dinner, he really wants me to say yes even though OUAT sucks so bad that it makes my brain hurt. sometimes I say yes, because I'm in a good mood and I like to make him happy and also because I post OUAT recaps on patreon and I need that sweet sweet #content. but other times I say no! and that's okay with both of us, because I know my wife is a big girl who can handle not always getting exactly what he wants and he knows that I'm not saying no because I hate him or because I think he was being an inconsiderate asshole for asking. and, most importantly, when I say yes he knows I'm not doing that because I feel pressured to say yes but because I'm genuinely fine with it.

if you ask about almost anything there's an expectation to answer eventually. it's entirely reasonable that you would be thinking about sex while cuddling and present the option. if you don't feel that you can trust your partner to say no when they don't really want to do something, then that's something you need to talk about with them! but there also comes a point when you have to believe someone when they say yes rather than perpetually second guessing them.

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please write more villain x civillain. you write it so well i love it so much!

"You manipulated me."

"Yes."

"So how am I supposed to believe..." The civilian swallowed. They steeled themselves; fear was one thing, but the sense of ridiculousness that threatened to creep through them was quite another. "You said you loved me."

"You're not dead, are you?"

"And that's love?"

The villain's eyes burned dark, unreadable.

"If that's love, for you," the civilian said, voice cracking, "it's not enough. It's not - no one else would dare call that love."

"It's not a mercy I grant to anyone else."

"I don't care!"

"Yes, you do." The villain's voice was soft but undeniable. "You understand exactly what it means coming from me. If you didn't, it wouldn't hurt so much. You wouldn't feel so confused. So betrayed. You'd simply feel angry, righteously swindled by the monster of me."

The civilian's jaw clenched. They looked away, and even as they did it they knew it wasn't a thing most would risk doing around them. But the civilian felt no fear in closing their eyes. Their monster would not strike them in the dark.

Yes. They knew exactly what mercy was to a thing like them. Every kindness a deliberate choice. Every tenderness a monumental effort but one they would make all the same.

"You've always been honest with me when you can," the civilian conceded. "Even if it would have been less terrifying if you lied. Easier. You're such a lovely, lovely liar, aren't you?"

The villain stepped closer, inherently menacing in their looming, but they only leaned in to press a kiss atop the civilian's head. To curl an arm around them. To whisper in their ear.

"I love you. How could I ever not love you?"

The civilian's breath hitched.

"I love you," the villain said. Their lips dipped, tasted, the frantic beat of the civilian's pulse. "But it's okay if you don't believe that right now, given the circumstances. Can you believe that I want you?"

"Yes," the civilian whispered. They didn't understand it, but they believed it. The hunger on the villain's beautiful face was the one ting they had never been able to doubt.

"Can you believe that I will keep you safe?"

"...yes."

"Is that love?" the villain asked. "To go against one's nature to keep another person safe?"

"I don't know."

"Me neither. But I'd like to find out, if you'd still let me."

The civilian looked at them again. The villain leaned against the table, out of place among the ordinary world, the light, the mundanity.

"Are you going to manipulate me again?" they asked.

"Probably."

The civilian had to laugh.

The villain shrugged, a small smile playing across their lips, eyes intent. "But I will keep you safe. I will love you. I will worship at your altar. Is that enough?"

"I suppose, to you, if not manipulation than you take what you want by force."

"...typically, yes," the villain said.

"And you would never do that to me. You would never take me by force."

"No."

The civilian nodded once. They released a shaky breath, dragging their hands through their hair.

The villain straightened. They waited.

"Lie to me," the civilian said. "Tell me I'm going to do the right thing. Never forgive you. Find someone nice. Someone better."

The villain swallowed. Then they switched into performance mode, dropping to their knees no matter who was staring, looking up at the civilian like they were losing them forever and they would rip apart the stars to get the civilian back - but not them. Never them.

"I love you," the civilian said. "God help me."

Then the civilian kissed them.

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I really just can’t relate to protagonists of beauty and the beast books

Oh he’s seven feet tall? With big claws? And sharp teeth? He’s built with the muscle and strength of a bear? And that’s so horrifying you can’t stand to be in the same room with him?

Honestly? Skill issue

Part of the original story that a lot incorporate is the beast asking to marry her every night and her refusing but like nah night one I’m in there baby, I got nothing better to do and I’m not going anywhere so let’s absolutely go

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any tips for not making a fool out of one's self when entering a sex shop for the first time?

if you've ever been in literally any other store before it's a lot like that

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this hit me like a truck