for-the-outliers

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I'm glad that people are still having fun on tumblr even after we found out about the frightening ghoul that reblogs posts but doesn't say anything

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You might think "Philosophy is cool but how does a real person apply any of this to their life" is an epic roast of philosophy but actually that's a whole ass branch of philosophy. The extent of their trickery boggles the mind.

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if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards

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clearly we need to create a new folkloric figure for suburban americans called Cat-Stealer Johnson who drives around in a honda accord and steals any and all outdoor cats he sees. and if anyone confronts him he cackles like the wicked witch of the west and says "there's only one way to stop meeeee! keep your beasties indoors! the four walls of the human home are my only weakness! ahahahaaa!!" and with enough cultural saturation we will finally eliminate "indoor-outdoor cats" foreverrrrrr

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Now that all 3 McElroy brothers have had vasectomies, I realized every episode of MBMBAM is now me listening to my Three Wise Eunuch Advisors

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Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

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Thought my gf cheated on me again so I messed around with her gay brother, but it turns out it really *was* just her cousin that she was spending time with, so now I’m kinda feeling guilty and confused

Is this how a priest in a confessional booth feels… ten hail marys

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clocked this entire website

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Hate how lighting a candle does wonders to my mood. Like wowwww. Grug like fire? Grug not sad anymore because Fire in Cave? Wow. Real predictable of Grug.

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Why do so many cephalopods die immediately after reproducing?

Okay so the physical reason is that mating triggers a change in their brain chemistry and hormone levels that essentially poisons them and makes them behave strangely and stop eating. If the gland responsible for this change is removed, the cephalopod continues as normal and lives for many months after laying eggs.

But the evolutionary reason is the end-Cretaceous extinction. Cephalopods used to have a pretty huge variation in lifespan, ranging from a few months to over 200 years (https://www.iflscience.com/ancient-paperclipshaped-sea-creature-could-live-for-200-years-57685)

Large, long-lived cephalopods were hit hard by the mass extinction and those who survived did so by being short-lived and reproducing quickly, so they were selected for as cephalopods recovered from the extinction event. The most ancient species, the nautilus, can live for several decades and mate many times, hinting at the high diversity of life strategies that cephalopods used to have.

So yeah, the reason octopuses usually only live a year or two before self-destructing is because of that fucking asteroid.

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wellm wellm wellm

how serendipitouse that youm would be sittinge down to a deliciouse meal at the precise momente which im storvinge to death

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was suddenly moved to draw a toony sort of character design .. but this is a bit too close to 2013 tumblr sexyman for my own comfort

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brooding men who cannot communicate their feelings if their life depended on it are only hot when they're fictional. if i have to deal with one in real life i will curse him and pray for his downfall every night before i go to bed

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this happening on the first day of the new year is the equivalent of Apollo sucker punching me directly in the esophagus