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[fore-seer]

Fe Aspec Week Day 1: Coming Out

WOO It's aspec week time!! 💜💚 To no one's surprise I'm starting off with Lukas :3 I know we have the wonderful support convo when he and Python sort of come out to each other, but I was always curious about the loose ends that it brings up -- how he comes out to/is treated by his family, the woman he's left behind, his fellow nobles, etc. This drabble doesn't really answer any of those questions sadfsadf but it's coming from that thought 😂

Father,

I am writing to you now, so soon after my previous letter, as there is something I have yet to confess. It may be difficult for you to hear, but

The sentence stops abruptly, a small dab of ink at the corner of the ‘t’ where the pen had rested a moment in contemplation.

A man sits back at his at a desk. His candle illuminates the page, displaying a few brief lines at the top. He dips his pen in ink time and time again, but the page remains mostly empty. 

At first, the man believes his problem to be a lack of words. No title exists for men like him. He’s well-educated and well-connected in the army; he has an extensive vocabulary for how the upper and lower class categorizes its people. Whether it’s a scholar’s dull terminology, vulgar common language insults, or the carefully chosen phrasing of a gossiper, none of the usual descriptors fit him. All he has are the distantly connected criticisms he’d heard his whole life: “heartless,” “cold,” “detached.” 

When the candle burns lower, however, he realizes the real issue. He has far too many words.

Where would he even start? Should he describe his contentment with his life here? How not one of his fellows ever brought up the lack of a woman at his arm, or how dinners with the King and Queen themselves were filled with pleasantries that never touched on his romantic endeavors? Whatever his father had been preparing for, it had never come.

Or should he begin earlier, when he was first accepted by this group of people? He wasn’t sure if he could properly convey all that he experienced on that fateful night, speaking softly with the unit’s archer – a man he’d come to call one of his truest friends. The man had heard for the first time in his life that there were others like him. He heard that they were content. They were whole.

He could go back further and describe the moment that the realization first hit him. How his father had been right in a sense. Just as he said, one day when the man was grown, he would be in the arms of another, and everything about himself would suddenly make sense. There was only one difference. He’d been forced to bury that clarity, since it wasn’t the same kind that everyone else came to.

Or should he start even further back? He could recount all little hints that haunted him across his youth. His dreams for the future never quite aligned with those of his peers. Nothing ever seemed to align. His choice of stories to read, of games to play, of jokes to make. He wouldn’t ever claim he was mistreated as a child, but everyone would agree that the signs had appeared even then.

The man sighs. Where is the beginning, when one has always been this way? 

The clock strikes on the hour. It is late, and he will need to be at his sharpest tomorrow for drills and meetings. He has no more time to fret over words about his past. 

The man tries a new method, and wonders what his friends may write about him. He can’t resist a dry smile. He knows that he can never, under any circumstance, allow them to exchange any correspondence with his family. 

But the exercise gives him an idea.

He writes out a single statement. Then he blows out the candle and heads to his bed. 

there is nothing broken about me.

Cordially,

Lukas

[fore-seer]

the car scene

written for @fe-aspec-week 2024! this is set in echoes dnd au (created by me and @good-beanswrites), in which the plot of Echoes is the plot of the group’s d&d game. scenes in italics take place in-game.

—

Lukas sighs. “Honestly, Python? I'm not sure if I love her or not. Since being parted from her, I feel no particular longing to see her again.”

(He stops briefly, glancing around the table, trying to gauge if he’s doing okay. It doesn’t seem right to spend too much session time on his character’s personal issues, but everyone seems content enough. He decides to continue.)

“I sometimes wonder if a vital part of me is broken. I look at Clive and Mathilda and see... Well, you used the word "fire". But whatever it is that they have, I seem to lack it.”

Python punches him on the shoulder. “Aw, don't you worry. The ‘one true love’ thing isn't for everyone. Certainly not for me. And I dare anyone to tell me that I’m broken.”

Lukas blinks. “So you think such a lack of feelings is… normal?”

This time, when Python leans in, he throws his arm around him, for a sort of half-hug that Lukas politely tolerates. “Perfectly.”

—

The session ends soon after, with cheerful goodbyes exchanged as they all filter out of Mila’s fancy apartment. Lukas joins the other two in Forsyth’s beater of a car, and they begin the thirty-minute trip back to their apartment complex.

It’s silent in the car for a few minutes, interrupted only by the staticky hum of the radio that refuses to turn all the way off and the ever-concerning rumble of the engine. And then—

“Y’know,” Python says abruptly, “it’s pretty cool that you made your character aro.”

Forsyth nods. “It is! You never see that in fantasy stories. It’s pretty sad.”

“…What?”

The car goes dead quiet again. The rumbling engine sounds louder than ever.

“Luke…”

“That was on purpose, right?” Forsyth says, craning around to peer at Lukas in the backseat.

Python elbows him. “Eyes on the road, Fors.”

“Yeah, but he—”

Lukas sighs. “Can one of you explain what you’re talking about?”

Now it’s Python’s turn to lean across the center console (and Lukas’s turn to wonder how these two haven’t gotten themselves into a car accident yet.) “So, that stuff you were saying in the last scene. How he wasn’t in love with that backstory character, and maybe not with anyone else, either? And he feels like he’s broken because of it?”

He nods, unsure where this is going. “I… thought it made sense for the character.”

“It does,” Forsyth says. “And it also sounds a lot like he might be aromantic.”

“Aro, for short,” Python adds. “It means you’re not interested in anyone like that—romantically, I mean. Like me.”

“You’re… not?” Lukas frowns. “But I thought—at the game cafe—”

“Hey, aromantic and asexual are two different things. Which I only happen to be one of.” Python grins. “So, y’know, if you ever—”

“PYTHON!” Forsyth turns away from the wheel again, this time grabbing his friend by the shoulder. “Can you at least save it until we’re out of the car?”

“Hey, eyes on the road!”

“I know! If you hadn’t started—“

Lukas tunes out the arguing in the front seat, too preoccupied with his own thoughts to keep track of what they’re talking about. He feels a bit guilty for (accidentally) tricking his new friends into thinking he made his character like this on purpose. For making something that spoke to them, made them feel seen, only to have to explain that it was all happenstance. It feels like a betrayal of some sort, even if he didn’t intend it.

But, then again, there’s something else bothering him. Memories resurfacing, of his parents asking him when he’ll get married, of school dances and college parties, of a thousand little moments that each left a bad taste in his mouth. He always figured it would change when he got older, or when he got away from his parents—but he’s done both, hasn’t he? He’s almost thirty, and he’s living alone, and he’s never once wished for someone else to share that bed with him. He’s never thought too hard about it, but…

“Python,” he says nervously. “How exactly do you know you’re aro?”

“Uh—”

“The general ‘you’, I mean, not you specifically,” he adds quickly. “Just… how do you figure it out? How do you know you’re not just…” He trails off, unsure how to finish that sentence.

Python glances at Forsyth. Forsyth, for once, stays focused on the road, where he’s trying to merge into the left lane of the highway. Python turns back to Lukas.

“Uh,” he says again. “Usually, I think, you just get tired of waiting. S’what I did. Got bored of waiting for something to change and decided to go my own way. There’s not really a process to it. You just… make up your mind.”

“And it’s okay if you change it later!” Forsyth adds. “Using a label isn’t something you have to commit to forever. If it stops being helpful to you, you stop using it.”

“Oh.” They make it sound so simple, he thinks. “I… I need some time to think about all this. It… makes sense, I just…”

“Hey, there’s no rush,” Python says.

Forsyth nods. “Take your time. We’ll be here if you need anything.”

“And for what it’s worth—” Python turns toward the backseat again, looking Lukas directly in the eye. “You’re not broken, Luke. No matter what anyone told you. Okay?”

Lukas nods, still lost for words, before choking out a “Thank you.” The path ahead of him is treacherous, but in this moment—in the back of Forsyth’s shitty car, surrounded by people who support him, wrapped in the hum of the engine—he feels like he can take it all.

(When he officially comes out at another D&D session a few weeks later, he receives a hearty round of hugs and congratulations, none more enthusiastic than Python and Forsyth’s. It’s the happiest he’s felt in a long, long time.)

[fore-seer]

get this man some antidepressants stat

[ID: Two digital drawings of Finn from Fire Emblem: Thracia 776.

On the left is a drawing of Finn in differing shades of light blue. There are two layered boxes behind him. He's drawn from the waist up and he's facing the left with a neutral expression. The head of his lance can be seen raised behind his head.

The second image shows Finn, Leif, and Nanna. Finn is looking at the pair with a somber expression, and has a hand in each of their hair and is holding them close. Leif has his arms wrapped around Finn's neck, and Nanna has her arms around Finn's torso.

Behind each person is a different fading block of color. Leif's is pink, Nanna's is yellow, and Finn's is cerulean. End ID]

big thanks to @diadora-the-forest-maiden for the ID!

[fore-seer]

the FE Cafe Zine was sent out, so here’s the full piece that I did for it!

a tea party with the shepherds! I had lots of fun with giving them alternative winter outfits and putting patterns on everything ^q^

[fore-seer]

You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.

[fore-seer]

caspar and ashe as that one spongebob ep (feat. linhardt)

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GOLF WITH NO LIMITS

[fore-seer]

You know he spent all morning deciphering that tome, right?

Anyway another year, another April 25th~

[fore-seer]

i was born to draw camilla in pile of women.

(a @nagamas secret santa gift for garchomp445 over on ao3!!)

[fore-seer]

LAURENT’S SUPPORT MADE ME CRY

[fore-seer]

happy birthday laurent.

[fore-seer]

happy birthday laurielaurielaurielaurielaurielaurielaurie ((04.23.2024-04.25.2023) [9 hours, HUUH antagal]

ngl i didn't expect to like him so much, especially since he and libra were the only ones i didn't get to recruit all those years ago.

(design ramble under cut)

i'm also aware that the way i drew him is also pretty different from how he looks? context was that i drew him and morg about a month ago from memory, and i only realised when @anoldwishbone was like “oh his hair looks diff!” and i was like “wdym his hair looks different,” so i looked at it and i realised “damn. iba nga.” and wishbone was like “ayun na you're making him your oc :DDD”

[fore-seer]

🌼~Sumia~🌼

[fore-seer]

(l'arachel voice) DASHING! ∘* ✧･ﾟ

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[fore-seer]

robin’s “i want you to forget about me” scene in vol2 of the drama cd and the second part of gaius’ convo with libra in harvest scramble are the same genre of thing to me