forerunnerdiaries

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Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.

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Remind me to be meek, remind me to not fight back and vindicate, even when I know I could shut it down with all the right I have.

Remind me that to the wounded, nothing is ever enough to pacify, but I can be gracious and I can forgive for they know not what they are doing.

Jesus, whenever brokenness rears its ugly head and makes me feel so small, remind me of You. Your strength, in all its beauty, was able to help You stay soft and extend the fullest measure of love even in the most painful of times.

And remind me that when I don’t feel strong like You, I can come to You and You will be strong for me. And Your love will be more than enough to heal the wounds inflicted through the rage of this world. Your love will take me through.

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I will take my stand at my watchpost    and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what he will say to me,    and what I will answer concerning my complaint.

Habakkuk 2:1

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Surrender is easy when I remember Your faithfulness.

[forerunnerdiaries]

There is nothing more satisfying than clicking and fulfilling the last of your assignments for the term on your school portal. So close to checking everything off he list completely, huzzah! I survived quarter 1 as an IHOPU freshman!

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My confidence is in Your mercy.

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I’ve been receiving new revelations through Song of Songs. Now they don’t look like before. After all that I learned in school, Song of Songs takes on a new dimension. I can see and feel the affections of Christ’s heart for His Bride. Wow. This is so real. It really impacts me to know this. I am so so happy. Thank You Lord.

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I truly believe that He has restarted my life. He has given me a chance to live a decade all over again.

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There’s gonna be a wedding

It’s the reason that I’m living

To marry the Lamb

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We won't allow God to rescue us unless we realise we need to be rescued.

[forerunnerdiaries]

There is something about a husband who prophetically calls forth that which his wife shall be.

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Me: Lord, show me how You love Israel.

Him, through Justin Rizzo's O Come O Come Emmanuel:

"He will not rest

'Til like the sun, you're burning bright

He has no peace

Until He makes the wrong things right

He will not rest

Until your salvation shines

And all of the nations

See your shining light"

HE WILL NOT REST

HE HAS NO PEACE

UNTIL.

😭😭😭😭

[forerunnerdiaries]

So after spending so much time in the GPR the last few weeks, I have grown to learn this pattern that takes place around 9-11pm (Central Time) - the prayer room breaks out into this worship dance party/concert thing. Tonight the saxophone guy is up. WHO SAID PRAYER ROOM WAS BORING. Those who dismiss it completely are really missing out...

God’s Kingdom is really full of joy and fun.

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Your Beloved is Ready.

She has saved her whole heart for you Lord, She has kept her eyes pure for you Lord. She has waited and waited, while her hungers were raging, To taste only the love of her Lord.

She has set her delight in you Lord, She has stayed all her thoughts on you Lord. She has stilled her desires, all her tossing and straying, She has put all her hope in you Lord.

You have washed her for the day of her wedding, Promised yourself, by your Spirit abiding. In the earthquakes and war, Lord, can you hear her singing, Her arms are raised high, she is radiant, she is holy, Your beloved is ready.

She has shut out the greed of her soul, Scoffs at scarcity, rotting and mold. She has given so freely, to the mean and unworthy, She's so loved that she cannot withhold.

She surrendered her fight for control, She has waived every right that she holds. She wiped out all the debts that she'd demanded from others, Cause she knew that she'd owed so much more.

You have washed her for the day of her wedding, Promised yourself, by your Spirit abiding. In the earthquakes and war, Lord, can you hear her singing, Her arms are raised high, she is radiant, she is holy, Your beloved is ready.

She has torn up her murderous laws, Her comparing and searching for flaws. But you've made her so humble, holding others so highly, That her joy has been filled to the full.

She took off her pretense for you Lord, She confessed all her shame to you Lord. She came out of her hiding, to be known so profoundly, She's so free she can dance for you Lord.

You have washed her for the day of her wedding, Promised yourself, by your Spirit abiding. In the earthquakes and war, Lord, can you hear her singing, Her arms are raised high, she is holy, she is radiant, Your beloved is ready.

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“This is your God and your King, your Brother, and your Bridegroom! Feel free to fall in love with Him. It is okay. Did you know that? It is permissible to fall in love with Jesus because of the incarnation. We have been robbed of Jesus far too long. It is time to ponder, and to enjoy the depths of His mystery and the richness of His shared life.” - Allen Hood

I feel the invitation to embrace and fall in love with Jesus, the perfect Man. Son of Man.

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“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” - Proverbs 13:12

As I feel like, “Why has my heart been left bereft of romance again?”, I remember that Jesus, at some point of His human life, experienced the heartsick feeling of hope deferred. Even though He knew that “a longing fulfilled is a tree of life”, and He saw what was set before Him, it was still the case that He experienced fully the ache of “not yet” in its present moment. 

Which is why, as our Great High Priest, He can sympathise with our weaknesses.

And I’m just letting my mind envision tonight, that He still feels it to some extent right now, at the right hand of the Father. Knowing that we will one day meet again, but feeling the ache of the “not yet”. He is patient and long-suffering, but He also can’t wait...

Thank You for being a God that fully understands.

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Tonight I mourn a missed opportunity at love

And I also rejoice at the boldness of my heart to be honest with myself for my hopes and dreams for love.