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leafyiage‌:

The rocky ocean waves had nothing on Green spinning her in the air.  Leaf was gonna be sick, whether it was from his overdramatic life decisions or the centripetal force she did not know.  What she did know what that she was hungry and Green was handing her a bag of malasadas.  She could get behind that.  

“You might be a little dumb but I could never actually hate you, you know that, especially if you’re feeding me,” she laughed, snatching the bag from his hands.  She let him take her bag as they strolled into the city.  Leaf had to roll her eyes.  She knew he was on a “giant fucking tree” but she couldn’t pass up the chance to make fun of him.  Green got so excited about his research that Leaf worried he’d forget about normal human functions.  It was good to see him relaxed and having fun, and it was impressive to see he’d done so much too.  

“Can I come watch you battle sometime?  I’ll make a giant sign that says ‘I LOVE YOU GREEN’ and a shirt with your face on it and cheer you on,” she joked, sort of.  Leaf hadn’t watched him battle in ages.  It was one of the little things she didn’t know she’d miss about him being far away.  It was always fun to watch him in his element, and who was she to pass up a chance at embarrassing him?   “I’ll go anywhere you want as long as you one, take me to the berry fields, and two, help me catch an Alolan Vulpix sooner or later.  Eva could use a friend her size,”  She was secretly excited to see Green’s notes.  The Alolan sun seemed to reinvigorate her and her limitless curiosity.  

“Let’s go! We can’t just sit on the dock forever,”

“See, here’s the thing, Leafy, you’re not allowed to support me. You can only show up to the Battle Tree with a group of protesters with signs that say ‘Green is a thot and that ass needs to be stopped’ and that’s all I’ll ever allow. If you wanna do that, sure, be my guest. But how dare you support me. That is not allowed.” He clapped her shoulder, obviously more so joking than his sister.

With Leaf’s bag lovingly in tow, he showed her on the way to the hotel — the Hano Grand Resort, to be precise. After all, he wanted nothing but the best for his very best sister ( sorry Daisy ), going so far as to even get her a room right across from his. After all, he had to steal one of her hotel keys to come into her room late at night and T-pose by her bed. What the hell else was he gonna do? Be a normal person? 

And he was quick to point that out. “So, your room is actually gonna be riiiiight across from mine, Leaf. Because I have to pound on your door and annoy you. What fun is there otherwise?” He gave a grin, putting her bag down in her room and allowing her to adjust. “So, the very next thing we’re gonna do is hitch a ride over to Melemele to get you to those Berry Fields. I already planted a few myself, so maybe you’ll get a chance to pick some berries for... I dunno, a cake? What do you use those things for anyway? There’s also a bakery there in Hau’oli. But then again, they have, like, everything in Hau’oli. They got a mall, too. Then after that, we’ll head to Ula’ula to get your little demon — I mean, diva — a friend. Maybe we can do that tomorrow if you wanna hang around the mall and do shit like that. Or just, in general, look around at all the regional Pokemon. Sound cool?”

night out | green & leaf

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waveguidances‌:

          Okay, Riley knows that Green’s strong. Far more talented on the battlefield than he is. And in spirit; the more he looks, the more he notices… a bit of an anomaly in Green’s aura. Auras, when concentrated on, tend to appear brighter than they really are. And to find Green in the caves, Riley had focused on his aura. But he’s no longer doing that, and yet here is Green’s aura, astoundingly bright.

          So, just like Green’s prowess in battle, his aura is powerful.

          … Green must be a very emotional person, Riley thinks. Or is there another reason?

          And suddenly, Green’s astoundingly close to him. A little too close for Riley’s comfort. He feels as if he should have seen that coming. He laughs a little too loudly, clearly caught off guard.

          Alright, now he’s interested. Green’s aura will be interesting to observe and analyze throughout this tour.

          “Protect me? Why… you’re too kind, Green. I can assure you that I am more than capable of defending myself.” He pauses, considering his tone of voice. “Oh! But the sentiment is greatly appreciated. It’s an honor to have someone of Champion status on my side.”

          All of a sudden, the ground rumbles. About thirty yards away, Riley catches sight of a glimmering Onix body, body intertwined with another mass. And he can’t help but smile.

          “Can you see that…? There, just beyond the corridor. It’s the Onix. We can get a little bit closer if you want the personal and intimate experience.”

Champion status hot dog. This guy was really pulling out the big guns with his flattery, now wasn’t he? Comparing Green to his short-lived Champion run, the biggest ego-stroke anyone could possibly give him. Now that he was retained to his position as a Gym Leader, going back to the glory days when he was a little tweenage thot thinking he could make it big by being Champ was just about everything he’d wanted — and for a brief, like, five minutes, had — in his young little life. All of that sense of accomplishment and pride was tucked away in that little part of his memory that just filled his heart a-bursting every time someone dared to call he — not Red, not Lance;Green motherfucking Oak — Champion.

So needless to say he liked the guy. He had his words in all the right places. He was polite, easy on Green’s fragile little ego, and he liked to watch a good Onix fucking every now and again. What could be better? 

“You bet your sweet ass I wanna get closer, Rye. Can I call you Rye? Like the bread. You’re bread to me now.” He gave a reassuring pat-pat to his bread friend’s shoulder. “Show me the Onix shit-show. I wanna see it. I wanna see it all. I got my sketchpad ready to illustrate the hell outta Onixes doing the screw. Just lead the way, bread boy.”

― end of the tunnel. ❜

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honestly such a mood

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gr o  CE r i s | green & riley

a short-form rp i did with @waveguidances​ that started a few months ago and is still ongoing

i know that there was an example posted by scad about marshal and drex, and it was rather serious and built on their relationship, so i just wanted to showcase the other side of that by showing off a sillier thread!

thus — riley and green, doing a Costco run at 2AM

that’s it that’s the whole premise

TW: They make some NSFW innuendos and flirt a little like that

RILEY: -it is 2am.- RILEY: -he is out here, fedoraless. suitless, even. he has nothing on his body but an oversized Canalave University shirt he took from Cynthia, a pair of silky basketball shorts, and some old pair of nikes. socks included. they’re argyle print, by the way.- RILEY: -he’s staring at the flickering neon costco sign outside the store.- RILEY: -why is he here.-

GREEN: -he's the reason he's here. in aviators, track pants, and a t-shirt, he's ready to party. he's rolling up to the costco doing that leg dance thing that that one trickster god does ( video for reference )-  GREEN: C'mon babe let's get this 🅱read

RILEY: -stares at Green for a full ten seconds, this look of exhaustion just sweeping across his features. but. he slowly begins to smile.- RILEY: Remind me again. -he’s taking one of those shopping carts from the lot as he Approaches the Costco™- Are we actually here for bread...?

GREEN: Nah we're here for creamer. GREEN: But we could get bread. I don't have bread at home.

RILEY: Then... let’s get this bread. RILEY: Do you like sourdough?

GREEN: Babe I love sourdough. GREEN: Eat that shit all day if I could.

RILEY: ... Good. I’m glad. -he smiles a little wider- RILEY: -past the automatic double doors of costco, excitement awaits. there’s a sale on televisions. of course they place the more expensive stuff out front. it’s enticing.- RILEY: Bread, creamer... didn’t you need laundry detergent as well...?

GREEN: I need a lotta things, baby. A lotta things. GREEN: Laundry detergent, soap...

RILEY: A TV? RILEY: I could get you a new television. RILEY: -there’s one of those fancy curved tvs up front. all the sets are playing like. idk. hotel transylvania or some other detailed animated to film. show off the hd. man.-

GREEN: Whhahfah — no nononono I don't need a new TV, Ri. I got Netflix and Hulu. Don't need a TV.

RILEY: Are you sure...? RILEY: One of these days, I’d like to spoil you...

GREEN: Yeah but like... spoil me with something of more value, I guess? I'd hate for you to get me this expensive thing and then I hardly use it...

RILEY: Well... alright. RILEY: How about this — if you see something here you really like and you know for certain that you’ll use... RILEY: I’ll buy it for you.

GREEN: Hey, same goes for you. There's probably plenty of shit around here you haven't gotten to try yet, so go for it if you see something you want.

RILEY: -probably shouldn’t, but...- RILEY: ... do they sell. Kinder eggs here?

GREEN: Hm? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, definitely. They'll probably be in the candy aisle up front here somewhere. GREEN: -gestures toward said aisle-

RILEY: -Vibrating.- RILEY: -he’s covering his mouth with his hand, but he’s definitely sticking his tongue out between his teeth. all child-like and such- RILEY: ... I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to look!

GREEN: -does the same gesture but without his hand over his mouth- Never had a Kinder egg before?

RILEY: Oh, no. I have, but — RILEY: They banned Kinder eggs in Sinnoh over a decade ago. I haven’t had one since... RILEY: -was like, fifteen when he last ate an egg- RILEY: It’s been a long time since I’ve had any chocolate, actually...

GREEN: Aww, babe... GREEN: -starts to lead him down to the Eggs- You look so cute like that, y'know.

RILEY: -follows, blinking innocently- Like what?

GREEN: Look at your face, babe, oh my god.

RILEY: Oh, but it’s nowhere near as cute as the face you made three seconds ago... RILEY: -realizes what he’s saying! out loud! in a costco! at two am in the morning! life is great! he just laughs and blushes- RILEY: You are very cute.

GREEN: -laughs and blushes too- Well... fuck, we're both cute, then! Shut up! GREEN: -mumbling quietly- But you're cuter.

RILEY: I heard that! RILEY: -and here they are. the candy aisle. suddenly, his pupils just go wide as dinner plates.- RILEY: -has lived a... really sheltered life. to an extent, he still does. he does his shopping at a local but small  canalave marketplace, and he has his food taken care of by interpol/the agency whenever he works with them.- RILEY: -so... he’s never stepped into a huge buy-in-bulk store like this- RILEY: -and given the sizes of these industrial shelves here at costco, they’re pretty big- RILEY: -this has got to be the biggest stash of candy he’s ever laid eyes upon.-

GREEN: -snrks quietly- You're only proving my point, y'know.

RILEY: -is like, stupidly staring around for a full ten seconds- RILEY: Right! The candy... -he’s looking for them eggs now- RILEY: Ah, Green? Which types of candy do you like the most?

GREEN: Hm? Oh, um... GREEN: I'm not actually much into candy, believe it or not. GREEN: Though, I guess like. Sour stuff.

RILEY: Sour things... RILEY: Like the Skittles? -he picks up a pack of those macha tea flavored kit kat boxes. he inspects it-

GREEN: Sour gummy worms and shit like that.

RILEY: ... noted for the Jury or whatever they say nowadays. RILEY: -eggs located. it’s in a box that contains THIRTY of them- Oh! Look...

GREEN: -SNORTS- GREEN: -and he watches how riley goes up to them like a kid going up to a candy store- Yeah, there they are alright.

RILEY: -back at Green, to the box, and then to Green before he slowly places them in the cart- RILEY: -was that too childish of him? - Sorry — ehehe, I’m just very excited when it comes to chocolate... let’s go get your bread.

GREEN: No, no. Not before you put that in the cart.

RILEY: -the box is now on the baby seat in the cart. where they sit the kids? nice and protected.-

GREEN: -snickers- Okay. Before we go, you wanna check out the rest of the candy?

RILEY: -Say yes. Say yes. Say yes.- RILEY: No, I think I’m good... for now, anyway. RILEY: I want to look at something that you and I will both really enjoy.

GREEN: -looks at him Slyly- GREEN: -puts a hand on his back- It's two AM at Costco. Nobody's around to see us run up and down the aisles. C'mon. Let's check out some candy. -coaxes him towards the candy aisle-

RILEY: Well... RILEY: -and he has to admit, it’s so nice to be doing the things he wants to do? he’s been dating green for awhile now, and he still hasn’t gotten used to green being compromising. when do his managers do the same?- RILEY: -it’s very nice. he really likes it- RILEY: ... okay. But let’s find something that we can both share, alright?

GREEN: I just want Fruit by the Foot and I'll be happy. GREEN: I like, like. Fruit snacks more than candy.

RILEY: Do you remember the ones that gave your tongue temporary tattoos...?

GREEN: Oh man, those were my childhood. Don't know if they sell those anymore.

RILEY: Oh, true... but if not, Fruit by the Foot is a good treat anyway. RILEY: -kinda starts heading to the snack aisle at that; screw candy- What other snacks do you like?

GREEN: Wait, you're all done here? -looks back to the Candy. gestures to it loudly-

RILEY: ... we’ll come back later. Let’s see what else Costco has to offer.

GREEN: Okay fiiine, but this isn't one of your whole selflessness due to martyrdom things again is it

RILEY: Oh, I could think of better things to be a martyr for. RILEY: -places his arms around Green in a loose hug- Let’s go see your fruit roll ups.

GREEN: Fruit by the Foot get it right. Fruit Roll-Ups were always those little shits that just. GREEN: Wouldn't unwrap. And then they'd tear. And then I'd cry.

RILEY: Oh right — those are two different companies, aren’t they? RILEY: Hmm. Then I don’t like fruit roll ups.

GREEN: They're the same company, different products. Same guys also make Gushers. GREEN: And y'know I'm all about goo Exploding inside my mouth. -wiggles eyebrows-

RILEY: Green, please. RILEY: Wait until we get home.

GREEN: -SNRKS- GREEN: Promise?

RILEY: -laughs, leaning over and kiss his cheek really quick- RILEY: I promise.

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S I G H T

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aviangrace‌:

     “You’re insufferable,” he murmurs, fingers tugging through part of his hair to fix whatever Green tousled. He’s aware the veiled insults are meant in JEST, but it still irritates like a slightly open wound.

     Falkner tugs his arm free of Green’s grip — he bites back the urge to say he can handle himself just fine — and follows the other with resigned acceptance. 

     “Ever thought of, you know, texting me, like a normal person?”

     Not that shopping or getting food sounded like a bad idea, but he liked having a plan for such events. Still, as Green pulls him close with an arm around the shoulder, Falkner allows himself to take a deep breath and try to relax. 

     “Gonna veto the leash.” His response comes with an eye roll. “You actually wanna walk all the way to Goldenrod, or fly? ‘Cause I’m sure you already know my preference.”

     The shock is finally fading, and Falkner can feel his guard crumpling ever so. Friends seems a strange word between them, hovering there between a jagged crack in the concrete. He would oscillate between yes, of course and annoyance, though… Perhaps that only cemented their relationship. Green certainly knew him better than many, and Falkner usually didn’t FIGHT his company. His etched frown relaxes into a neutral expression.

     Lighten up, he chides himself.

     “Sorry, this passive-aggressive brain only gets one idea per day. Please wait the allotted twenty-four hours before asking again.”

Falkner's snarky comment earned a good chuckle from Green; he knew how the guy was — usually-defensive and oftentimes speaking with a bite in his voice — but Green was never bothered by that sorta thing. Actually, he found it hilarious. It was this sort of dynamic he liked having between him and Falkner; it made him a special kind of friend.

Frankly, for all of Green's annoying habits, he enjoyed someone who played off of those. If he went around throwing peanuts and spitballs in peoples' hair and they just took it with a smile all the time, then that... that'd just be sad, actually.

It was why he appreciated Falkner, appreciated how much he could bother him. He'd always be rewarded with an immediate response — something to stoke Green's chaotic flames and continue on with this little tête-á-tête thar they called friendship.

"Course I never thought to text ya! What do I look like — a functioning member of society? Now, c'mon, babe, you know me better than that! Though, I'm flattered you think so highly of me to consider that I might ever be normal!" He laughed, slapping Falkner on the back before returning his arm that was shoved off right back to that same shoulder.

"And, well, I wanna walk! You can't rightly have a good conversation when the wind's whipping around at thirty miles an hour. I like having us time, don't you?" He didn't even give Falkner a moment to answer before he cut himself off, "The mall and a movie? Gee, Falkner, you're so smart! See, that passive-aggressive brain of yours really does come up with more than one idea!" With that, he fished out some movie tickets, although yes, not a single one of them brought up the idea. It was nice to give people credit where credit wasn't due, y'know?

Makes 'em feel nice.

He presented to Falkner a movie ticket that was for a documentary featuring baby Pokemon growing up in Kanto and Johto — namely, bird Pokemon like Pidgey, Farfetch'd, Hoothoot, and Skarmory. "Pssht, and you make these things out like I just randomly go out and decide I'm gonna bother ya. Maybe I do! But I always got a plan to make it worth your while." He winked, "So are you gonna say thank you or nah? Take your time, I understand you must be utterly flattered by my consideration of your interests. I'll give you a moment."

getting along | green & falkner

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goblin hour is every hour when your are. a goblin

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shockinglyhandsome‌:

The former champion really threw his arm around Volkner’s shoulder. The eighth Gym Leader said nothing at first, not wanting to sound like he was intimidated by Green or anything - Also, it wasn’t every day a cute guy he just met wrapped his arm around him - but Volkner really disliked physical contact from almost everyone. And then even after that, Green had the gall to ask him where they should go… And Green called him Volky. Volky. VOLKY. This guy was cute, but definitely way too forward for Volkner’s liking. 

 Man, he really didn’t want to have make a decision. This was supposed to be just him accompanying Green on a trip, and… The kid didn’t even have an itinerary. That was like, rule number one of travelling somewhere, and Green broke it. Man… what a character. Wasn’t it not Volkner’s job to be a tour guide? From his experience with Flint, Volkner already knew that the Elite Four could be inanely aloof, but Cynthia had seemed very well organized, so Volkner figured a former champion would be the same. Big mistake. He sighed, thinking of how he could make this trip short… Or something. Then it hit him.

If Volkner could potentially lead Green to Snowpoint, the cold could be off-putting towards Green… Maybe off-putting enough that the Electric Gym Leader could go back to lazing around? But how would he convince the guy to go to Snowpoint… And he seemed like a genuinely nice guy, too. Even though how forward Green was really annoyed Volkner. Still, it wasn’t like Snowpoint was a bad idea. It had the temple, after all, and if Green could survive the trek there, maybe it’d be worth it for both of them.

“Fine. If you’ve heard of Snowpoint Temple in your research, we can go there,” Volkner grumbled. He wasn’t going to fill in any gaps he didn’t have to or want to, and he hoped that someone who put themselves forward as a researcher knew what the location was and what lore it held. 

The blond paused a bit, before adding, “And don’t call me Volky again.”

“Sure thing, Volkner.” He corrected in a single breath, another pat on Volkner’s shoulder. “Sorry about that.” 

Like yeah, sure, Green was an asshole, way too forward, extra — all those words were perfect descriptors of him — but the last thing he did was disrespect a hard boundary when someone brought it up to him. That’d be the difference between his silly, fun aesthetic, and just being a Grade-A asshole. And he was not. A Grade-A asshole.

Contrary to Volkner’s beliefs ( and hopes, probably ) Green was actually delighted at the idea of going to Snowpoint. Kanto is already cold as hell as it is, and Green was actually one to prefer the cold more than he preferred the warm. “Oh great! Snowpoint Temple seems amazing; I already packed my snow clothes and everything. This is gonna be awesome.” Honestly, in the few times he’d considered going to Sinnoh, Snowpoint Temple was actually towards the top of his list, seeing as how the place needed a higher-up’s authority to even be able to enter.

And with the rumors that there was a powerful Pokemon within... “You’re makin’ a man’s dream come true, Volkner. I appreciate it a lot! Now lead the way!”

escort mission | green & volkner

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waveguidances‌:

              Well… ‘fuck’ wasn’t the word Riley would use. Or diddly. Or ‘hammering away.’ Not when talking about Onix, anyway. Wasn’t this man supposed to be a biologist? Was there… some sort of humor he was missing here? Riley didn’t quite get it, but Green certainly carried himself with a sort of confidence that Riley could appreciate.

             So, he laughs along.            Even if Riley can see with his own two eyes what Green’s up to.

Keep reading

Here was a man asking him if Green wanted the opportunity to see Onixes fuck. He like. He offered that to Green. Right out the gate. Like it was normal. Biologist or not, Green was quietly starting to wonder what the fuck this guy was on, looking so handsome yet being so utterly oblivious to the kinda shit he was saying.

He was like a prince. Goddamn. Who was this man. Was he in love? Probably. 

He laughed along as this Riley dude spoke so calmly and so sophisticated about Onixes being in heat, and threw an arm around Riley’s far shoulder, pulling him in close. “Of course it’ll be beneficial to my research, Randy. What could be less suggestive than two guys being dudes, watching Onixes fucking and re-carving half your island in the pursuit of baby-makin’? Nothing gay about that. No sir.” He patted his shoulder.

“How ‘bout we just do both, huh? See some good ol’ Onix fuckin’ and if we don’t die a horribly rocky cave-in death, then we’ll see all the cool Steelixes and other shit like that? Nothing could be better. Absolutely nothing.”

“Then again, I don’t think we’ll die. I’d have to do some serious damage control, but there’s no way in hell I’d let some rock snake fuckery take down a handsome gem like yourself. So you’re in good hands, don’t worry. You got the guidance, I’ve got the beef. Show the way, Ronald.”

― end of the tunnel. ❜

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a mood ™

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drxgonchamp‌:

Lance leans a little into Green when he flung an arm over his shoulders, and finds his body relaxing. While he’s not a huge fan of unsolicited physical contact, when it comes from people who he cared for or trust, it becomes a source of comfort instead. He’d never truly say it out loud that he enjoyed these touches, but he figured that Green knew anyway. His little brother had always been observant when it comes to him, and probably knew more than even Lance is about himself.

He looks at the screenings, trying to find anything that both of them could enjoy. So far, there were nothing that fit what he listed, until Green stopped at a particular movie title. The showtime indicated that they had last than an hour before the viewing. They’d be cutting it close, but if he recalled movies correctly, they would always show at least ten to fifteen minutes of ads first before the actual movie.

Keep reading

Well, if there was anything Green knew about nature documentaries, it was that the filmmakers were always respectful, or so help him God there’d be hell to pay. By Lance specifically. He knew his brother by now; he knew the song and dance. But from everything he’d read about in the movie summary ( which was just a Wikipedia article, mind you ) it seemed like everything was reputable. And, c’mon now, with a girl like Clair practically having the run of Blackthorn, there’d be no way she’d just let all hell break loose around her own goddamn city just for some bigwigs to make a buck.

Nature documentary filmmakers were nearly-always good people. They filmed Pokemon falling over branches, for Christ’s sake.

With Lance’s interest piqued, the two made their way off in a hurry to Saffron, Green’s demeanor still calm and cool as he walked. As much as he wanted to, he decided not to comment until after the two had gotten to the city and gotten their tickets, having about twenty minutes to spare. It was only after they’d gotten to the theater that he seriously considered that Lance... might fall asleep watching the movie, it was so dark. He wouldn’t be upset, though. The dude probably needs it.

Instead, with a tilt and a grin, Green teased, “Yeesh, why do you always gotta dress like you’re about to make a drug deal, huh? I’ve got a pretty recognizable look by now, too, but you don’t see me going around all...” And he hunched his shoulders in, slipping his hands in his pockets, looking around suspiciously. He then returned to a normal posture, hands still in his pockets, but laid back. “And unless you want me to start calling you Larry to seal the deal, there’s really only one Lance that everyone knows about.”

no rest for the weary || Lance & Green

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The gift from Green’s Secret Santa comes in a black box about the size of someone’s palm. The lid is easily removed, and in a backdrop of velvet sits a small chain of platinum. The necklace itself is not ornate, but sturdy; one gets the feeling that it can withstand a lot of tension on it. There is a single bead of multifaceted, shimmering blue ore comprised in its center. No note, but the bottom of the box contains a receipt of authenticity. All materials seem to be sourced from Iron Island.

By the craftsmanship, the presentation, the certificate, he can already start to gather who this is from. Since it’s a higher necklace than the one he wears normally, it’s an easy addition just to wear both, and he does so lovingly, touching the blue bead in the center, massaging it between his fingers. “Aww, babe...” he mumbles quietly, “I’m gonna have to kiss ya threefold for this one.”

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The box is wrapped in green and a black ribbon. Inside is a cape - high quality, double as a cloak, can store temperatures well. It is in simple black, though there is attached a number if he wants to customize it even further. It's soft on the inside, alongside several hidden pockets. His name is etched in golden stitches alongside Lance's clan symbol, a sign that he is family. [ Merry Christmas little Greenbean. Thank you for continuing to love me like a brother. I love you too - Lance ]

Green couldn’t help but feel a wave of nostalgia drift over him, just like he did when he was a little child of about eleven. How he’d take up Lance’s capes and snuggle up with them. Looks like, after all his years of stealing, Lance was finally giving him one of his own.

He would almost think to cry, but he didn’t, instead just wrapping it around him, embracing himself as family. “Aww man... I love you too, bro.”

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Foggy autumn around my home. I have been waiting all year for this! 🍂🍁

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dumbassery | green & charon [ winter event thread ]

Winter Event | @bxdgame

We all know Green by now, right? He was always one to take risks, no matter how reckless or stupid they were. And in this case, it was very, very stupid.

Since he was a little kid, he’d always heard about that old tale of sticking your tongue on a pole, and him, being a devil-may-care idiot, he always tried it. But never once, never once did it actually stick. After he’d started into his teenage years, he stopped trying, but now here he was at the ripe ol’ age of twenty-three with a relatively-stable life, and he was free to do stupid things all over again.

Hence, his good friend, the lamp pole.

There was one right outside of his apartment in Viridian City, that was positioned just luckily enough that it cast a nice glow against his bedroom window at night, but wasn’t enough to truly annoy him. He stayed by that lamplight in the mornings before catching the bus, or would just sit by the bench out there when the day was nice and, I don’t know, read a book or something.

But here he was, on a fine Thursday like any other, met with his familiar friend, foe, and rival — the frosted pole, covered in ice, on a cold day where he had to bundle up and wear earmuffs and everything. And he decided, why the hell not? He’s lived long enough. This might as well happen.

And three hours later, he was just starting to regret the decision, having been stuck there without a means of getting loose without making the ultimatum to tear off a good layer of his own tongue.

It sucked. Painfully. And it was dark enough outside that nobody was coming by to notice the dumbass in his dumbass state. By then, he’d taken selfies and sent them to his boyfriend, sent messages on Snapchat and Twitter, and done just about everything to milk up the situation for all it was.

And now it was just sad. He wasn’t really sure if... anyone would be able to help him at that point. And frankly? He’d deserve it if nobody did.