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Always fucking up.

Probably lost you for good, and its all because I'm an emotional mess. I dont know why I even care when it doesn't seem like you care. Every time you confess your love, you're drunk and you take it back the next day. If you really love me, just say it. You know I would do anything to just be in your arms again and get lost in your eyes and lips 💔

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Love and life

I have to learn how to let go easier. I always hold on to things and in the end its always just a waste of time. Seven years until I learned how to let go of the first one. And its been five years already for this one.. I haven’t even seen him in atleast 2 years. Plus, we rarely talked… so why is it so hard to let go? The way he reacted while I was giving my last goodbye was supposed to make things easier, I’m sure that’s what he was hoping too.. but it didnt, he was supposed to fight for me, fight for true love. He doesn’t know it but hes officially changed my views on love, its been working its way around for a while.. every time he comes back around I hope to get my fairy tale ending, and then just as quickly he shoots that thought down the drain. All I ever wanted was someone I loved with my whole soul. I wanted to feel the passion every time we touched, kissed, or even made eye contact.. and don’t get me started on the passion in bed. But as I’ve grown, my mothers one piece of advice she gave me long ago after a heart break has stuck in my mind. “Marry someone who loves you more than you love them.” Now that doesn’t mean you just marry anyone who loves you, you do have to make sure you love them and for the right reasons. But when a man loves you more, than you’ll be sure to get the love and treatment you deserve. Life isn’t always what you pictured it to be.. but I think what breaks my heart most is that I wont ever get my dream of a fairy tale love. I feel like I've lost my whole family, well extended. Although they're extended they've always been sisters, and its petty what they're pissed about and everything that they're doing. Atleast my "twin" has been stepping up in my life, but I feel like its just guilt because I didn't tell her everything I was going through and she found out from my mom. If me being the maid of honor is going to cause my family to hate me this much then to be honest I dont even want the duty.. Im gonna fail at it anyways since Im so lost in my depression and anxiety, I just now started planning stuff that's going on in 2 months. Ugh. Wednesday is finally the big day that I've been praying about all year. I'm begging for closure because I mentally cannot deal with any more of this being prolonged. Please God, let my life go back to normal soon. I just want to be happy.

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It seems to me that the years between eighteen and twenty-eight are the hardest, psychologically. It’s then you realize this is make or break, you no longer have the excuse of youth, and it is time to become an adult – but you are not ready.

Helen Mirrin (via quotemadness)

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It’s completely okay if you want to blame me. I know you need to hold someone responsible, and I am glad that I can be of some use. But just for a minute, try to step into my shoes and take a peek into my mind. At first, you would see nothing but darkness. I call it my personal hell for a reason. Even I can’t recall when the light stopped coming in, and when I began to find solace in this darkness. As you will begin to see through the darkness, you’d slowly be able to see the chaos of my thoughts. Thoughts that crushed me a long ago, and now my sanity is lost under the rubble of that storm. All that’s left, are shards with blunt ends, which are only capable of lacerating the fragile hearts who care enough to clean the mess. Now you might understand a bit, why you were hurting when you thought you had me. Your beautiful heart was bleeding because you tried to sweep out the shards with your tender love. So you’re right in blaming me. I let you go, and that’s my only saving grace.

bibliophilic-loner  (via wnq-writers)

Couldn't have said it more perfectly

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If you were here If you were here to see All the sleepless nights All the stories written All the overthinking All the demons coming out All the mess left to clean All the hopes threw in vain Everything. Maybe you would understand. But If you were here Then none of these would have happened So Thank you.

vladtolan (via wnq-writers)

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😂😂this is why I love Tumblr

I went to high school with a kid who would only drink out of a baby bottle. He brought a large baby bottle to school every day. At first, we thought that he was using it to sneak alcohol or something, but he wasn’t. He would bring it filled with chocolate milk and then fill it up with Coca-Cola and Sprite during lunch. He’d buy a can of each and mix them together. Like I said, it was a large bottle.

I didn’t know the kid that well and I didn’t have any classes with him so I never really talked to him that much. I knew his name. His name was Kevin. Sometimes I’d see him at parties on the weekends. He still had his baby bottle. He would fill it with beer and rum.

He dated my sister’s friend, Emily, for a little while. I had known Emily for a long time. She had been a friend of my sister’s since they were five or six. They were really good friends. She spent a lot of time at our house for sleepovers and stuff. Sometimes she would pee the bed, but I never made fun of her for it. I think most older brothers would have loved the opportunity to make fun of their sister’s friend for peeing the bed and I think she really appreciated that I never mentioned it even though I definitely knew about it because after the sixth or seventh time, my parents started paying me to clean everything up instead of having to do it themselves.

I asked Emily why Kevin only ever drank out of a baby bottle and she said that she didn’t know. They had only been dating for a very short time at that point and she didn’t want to bring it up and offend him or anything. I asked her to tell me if she ever found out. They broke up right after that and I kind of forgot about it because Kevin stopped going to school. I don’t know if he transferred or dropped out, but I never saw him at lunch or any parties after that.

I hadn’t thought about him in a long time, but Emily happened to mention him while she was over at our house recently and I immediately remembered the baby bottle thing.

“Did you ever find out why he drank out of that bottle?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, he told me why,” Emily said. “He used it because he heard that babies that drink out of bottles for too long or drink sweet drinks out of them get really bad teeth problems. He wanted all of his teeth to go bad so that they would fall out and he would be able to fit a softball in his mouth. He said that he wanted to have the world record for being the first person to be able to put a whole softball in his mouth and he wouldn’t be able to do that with all of those teeth in the way.”

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Time doesn’t heal emotional pain, you need to learn how to let go.

The Light in the Heart (via quotewithasource)

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Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it.

David Levithan (via quotemadness)

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