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am i really unlovable?

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it’s easier to say “im tired” than “im so sad and lonely i feel like there’s a weight in my chest and my body is so heavy i have no energy emotionally, physically or mentally to even move from my bed”

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maybe it’s just my fate to be the one everyone compares themselves to in order to feel better

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I wish I could forget, I wish I could forget, god I want to forget

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im trying to stop crying im trying to stop crying im trying to stop crying

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i wish i could feel like i mattered to someone

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it’s too much it’s way too much all this noise all these sounds and the lights and all this static i hate it i hate it

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what’s the point of fixing something that’ll just break over and over and over?

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side effects of being numb due to mental illness:

not crying for weeks and weeks on end until one day, you’re breaking down over something that isn’t actually worth getting upset about

not being able to tell if your feelings for people are platonic or romantic or if you’re just lonely

instead of caring too much, you don’t care at all about anything

not being able to process anything going on in your life and when you try, your brain stalls out

losing your train of thought every five seconds, so when you try to have a conversation, you have to pause and remember what you were trying to say

word vomiting

mind “static”

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a house burning down. a house becoming ash. a house becoming home.

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fuck

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h h h H h hhhhhHHHhhhHHhhhh h h hur ts 

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i woul d gi ve anything to amke it st op

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too loud

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People like me were not meant to be loved

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i feel so trapped