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[forhereyesonlyyy]

your love. // stayc, pse. // one-shot.

in which you visit your girlfriend sieun after months of not being around each other, and you both find it hard to control repressed emotions after sieun goes overboard during your moment alone.

word count: 8.4k.

author’s note: my first stayc one-shot!!! i gotta be honest with ya'll i started writing this during asap era but towards the end i kind of lost motivation to continue so that's why it's a bit dragged on because i kinda just started saying anything sihdskfh BUT!!! THIS IS A WORK MADE WITH LOVE!!! i absolutely adore my stayc and girls and i cannot wait for teenfresh GIVE ME THE SONG OF THE LATE SUMMER MY GIRLS!!! p.s. i'm sorry this is sooooo long like omg...

tags: wlw, established relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff towards the end, sieun fucks up, seeun the bestest best friend evver it's true.

warnings: suggestive at one point.

You got the genius idea when you were in your bathroom, staring blankly back at your reflection as you lazily brushed your teeth. You’ve been counting, as lame as that sounds, and in preparation for her upcoming comeback with her group, Sieun has been gone for months too long for you to endure. You missed her badly, but it wasn’t like she has been ignoring you or only talked to you once in a blue moon. No, Sieun always made sure that she texted you or call you during her downtime and in return, when you aren’t drowning in schoolwork, you send her some pictures of your face just to make sure that she doesn’t forget what you look like.

Sieun sends you some photos and even videos as well, and some late-night calls really makes you feel a lot less lonely. But of course you will always want more than that. You don’t even want to think about how long it has been since you last hugged or kissed or simply just looked at your dear girlfriend. And so, that one night, while you were brushing your already incredibly spotless teeth, you decided to surprise Sieun while she’s filming the music video with her members for the lead single of their latest album.

Sieun had told you a week before that they would start filming soon, and that day was today. That time was now, actually. You had arrived at the studio where the filming was taking place, and you’ve already informed some nearby staff about your galaxy brain surprise plan. Now you were just hoping that none of the louder girls spot you and make a scene. As much as you loved the members, you hoped that things would roll smoothly just this once.

You spot Sieun’s gorgeous strawberry blonde hair from a distance, and she was sitting on a chair chatting with a stylist. In front of her sat Sumin and Yoon, and against all of your wishes, Yoon had made eye contact with you and Sumin, sweet as ever, smiled so big upon seeing you. You immediately put your index finger over your lips for damage control and thankfully the two girls recognized the message and pretended you didn’t exist.

You continue making your way behind your sitting girlfriend but then you come to a halt when she suddenly raises her phone. You quickly hid behind a particularly tall staff member, who tried his best to not crack up as you did so. You peeked over the staff’s shoulder and of course, Sieun was indeed taking a picture of herself. Once she was finished, she brought the phone back down to her lap and finally, you make your move.

Just before you could put your chin on your girlfriend’s shoulder, you suddenly remember that you are only supposed to be Park Sieun’s good friend (Y/N). Scrapping every single one of your plan to surprise Sieun with a kiss or a hug, you stood frozen on your spot with a new plan. Sieun raises her phone for another picture and since you were literally right behind her chair, you were in the camera as well. You put up a peace sign and on the picture Sieun took, it really just looked like you photobombed her.

It took Sieun a few seconds but then she finally spots you on the picture and quickly turns around, then she confirms that yes, you are actually there.

“(Y/N), oh my God!” Sieun stands up from her chair and runs to engulf you in a tight hug. You felt your heart swell upon feeling your girlfriend’s warmth and if it weren’t for all the people around the two of you, you probably would have broke down in tears because you were not one to control your emotions well. Especially right in front of Sieun, the most important person in your life. You hold back on the hug and made it look as platonic as you could, but then Sieun leans back, keeping her arms around your neck, and ever so slightly her clear eyes shifted from your own down to your lips. You look at her, and you knew that if this embrace lasts for even one more second, you would risk ruining her life forever. So you stepped back, forcing an awkward grin on your lips.

“When did you get here?” Sieun asked. Her tone was shaky and unsure, it seems like she realized her own mistake. She had no idea how much it ate you up inside that you couldn’t even talk to each other publicly without fearing that everything will fall apart.

“Just ten minutes ago. I would’ve arrived earlier but I stopped by the nearest coffee shop and got you and the girls some pastries,” You paused. You didn’t know how strict the company was with the members’ diet, but now that you were here, you realized that you... didn’t really care. Even idols should enjoy food without worrying about gaining some pounds! Come on now, it’s even in your song, STAYC! “You can eat it on your break, or take it home. Just please, I don’t know, eat.” You said.

Sieun takes the box of pastries from your hands, and the brief touch of your fingers was enough to tug at your heartstrings. Your girlfriend turns to put away the pastries, and you take the time to look around the set. J was in the middle of filming her individual scenes, and Seeun and Isa were fooling around with a camera off to the side. It was most likely content for their fans. Looking back at Yoon and Sumin, they were focused on glossing over the delicious food you bought for them and argued about who gets which donut. From near them, Sieun gestures you to come over and so you did.

You sat on the chair across the three girls and hugged your backpack close to your chest. You had another gift, but it was for Sieun and you wanted to give it to her when you two were given a moment of privacy, if ever.

“(Y/N)! You didn’t have to waste your money and get these for us! You should’ve treated yourself instead.” Sumin says. Yoon mutters some words, but you couldn’t understand her since she was munching on a croissant.

You waved your hand, “It’s alright, I don’t mind. Sieun told me you girls have been working really hard for this comeback so I just thought that I could give you all a little something.”

Yoon swallows and wipes the corners of her mouth with a tissue, “Well, I’m glad you did because I have been craving sweet stuff for months! You should come more often! Sieun-unnie, tell (Y/N) to come more often.” The second youngest insists, nudging the second eldest’s shoulder.

Sieun only laughs at the younger girl’s orders, but you know in her heart that it’s what she wants too. There are times where the two of you can spend some solid time together whether it may be outside on a park or just at the comfort of your home. But unfortunately, most of the time, your schedules just don’t work out. When Sieun has a day off, you’re busy with assignments and school-related stuff. Sometimes, Sieun would visit you but even then you would be so distracted that you barely even look at her.

And of course, when you’re not doing much, Sieun is practicing and taking dancing and vocal lessons. You were convinced that the universe was doing its best to tear the two of you apart and there was a time that you almost succumbed to giving up, but you pulled through because you trusted Sieun, and it would break you to just leave her when you know that this was just a small obstacle that the two of you can jump over. Maybe even smash through.

You glanced down on your half-open backpack, and inside there was a red rectangular box with a pink bow tied to it. You chew on your bottom lip, now second guessing your choice. Was a necklace too predictable? You were pretty sure that you have bought Sieun lots of jewelry before, what if she thinks that you put no effort into searching for the perfect gift at all? That was literally your worst nightmare.

While staring holes through the red box, a pair of arms wrapped around your neck from behind and you turn around to see who it was.

“Aw, babe, is that for me? How sweet of you.” Seeun jokes, looking at the content inside your backpack. You rolled your eyes and closed your backpack before gently pushing Seeun away. Having mothers who are friends, you and Seeun were just as close despite having a two-year age difference. Seeun was just a fun person to be around and that was exactly why she was your best friend. You hadn’t known her for a while until your mothers introduced the two of you.

Seeun was the reason you even got to know Sieun on a personal standpoint. You had only seen Sieun on tv until one day, you stopped by their company building for a quick visit and tour from Seeun herself when Sieun happened to be practicing diligently with Sumin, and it all started from there.

“Sure. I would totally give my girlfriend her surprise gift in front of everyone.” You replied sarcastically. Seeun giggles and hugs you again, saying something about how glad she was that you came to visit her and everyone else.

(While you were catching up with Seeun, Sieun was quietly twiddling her thumbs beside Sumin. But of course you don’t see that because you were too busy laughing with your friend. Sieun hated feeling like this, especially towards one of her girls. But she missed you too much, and making her watch you get touchy and chatty with someone else was a lot to ask for.)

After that, Sieun was asked to make her way to the set since it was her turn to film for her individual scenes. You smile at her and mouthed some words of encouragement. Sieun smiles back briefly before going to where the director had told her to stand.

While you certainly enjoyed seeing Sieun in action, whether it may be singing or dancing or acting, you found it quite unfortunate that you couldn’t get to talk much. You loved Seeun, she was your best friend and she makes you laugh like crazy but you just miss Sieun so much. You hoped that sometime this day the two of you will be given a moment to talk. Even a minute would be enough. You just needed to feel connected to her again.

To avoid being a downer for the rest of your visit, you decided to bond with the other members of STAYC. Besides Sieun and Seeun, Isa was the third closest person to you. Not only was she extremely kind towards you, but her overall good-natured aura was almost magnetic. You always find yourself clinging to her because she made you feel good inside. Sieun does not get jealous over that because everyone knew Isa had that effect. Even Sieun herself gets drawn to her.

“She’s great, isn’t she?” Isa asked, watching Sieun work diligently with the camera. You smiled proudly at your girlfriend as the whole directing crew whooped to encourage her. You hadn’t realized that you didn’t reply to Isa as Sieun had completely captivated you. Looking at your smile and the way your eyes were quite literally glued to Sieun, Isa finds herself grinning.

“Do you like her?”

The question completely caught you off guard. You nearly snapped your neck when you turned your head to look at the older girl because from the way she said it, Isa sounded like she knew.

“S-Sieun?” You ended up blurting out. Well, now you looked like a fool. Every member’s eyes were on you, although Yoon did look quite funny since she was still eating some bread. Isa tilts her head innocently. She has no idea what she has just done, bless her heart.

“Yes. You look like you’re her biggest fan. I bet she’s your favorite member.” Isa said. Upon realizing that you might have overreacted, you then mentally slap yourself for getting all jittery and nervous. Because of course Isa wouldn’t guess it that easily. You like to think that you and Sieun have been pretty successful with the whole secret dating thing. The two of you have been official since before STAYC even debuted, albeit just a few months! And not one person has even got a hint that you and Sieun were closer than you like to show to others.

Seeun shakes her head, “That’s impossible! I’m your best friend, therefore I should be your favorite member.”

“No. Me and (Y/N) have the same exact interests. If she were just a regular fan and not our friend, I bet she would like me a lot.” J argued, and so STAYC scream over on top of each other to debate which member you like the most. Only if they knew... but they really shouldn’t.

(From the distance, Sieun watches you grin from ear to ear watching the members fight for your affection. This time, she wasn’t feeling jealous. She felt her heart growing heavy. Not with envy, but rather... love.)

When the mess managed to pass and the girls got serious since they still had some work to do, you asked a staff member to point where the washroom was and thanked them when they provided you with some directions. You must’ve eaten something bad before leaving your house since you were in a hurry. Bringing your bag along, you started following the directions the staff member gave you but then a hand tugs on your sleeve, stopping you from making another step.

“Leaving already?” Sieun asked, retracting her hand slowly. Some of the girls were already changing their outfits, while the others were going over the choreography as they were going to film the group dance clip.

“Oh, no. I was just about to go to the washroom. Well... then I was going to come back and say goodbye because my mom wants my help with some groceries,” You replied. Sieun nods, and then she goes quiet. It seems like she couldn’t get the words out of her throat. You understood why to some extent, maybe, but you did wonder why Sieun would feel nervous around you of all people. “Are you okay? Do you need something?” You asked, concerned.

Sieun shakes her head, then she cautiously looks around. You imitate her actions, trying to understand why she was suddenly like this. Sieun suddenly pushes you into an unknown corner where not even one person would dare to look at or walk by, and then she grabs your face with her hands and kisses you softly.

This was certainly new. The two of you agreed to not even be five meters close whenever you’re around just to avoid speculations, except for ‘platonic’ hugs, but here Sieun was, kissing you in public! Not that you were complaining, your mind was too hazed and all you wanted to do was kiss your girlfriend, so you do exactly that.

You’ve nearly forgotten what Sieun’s lips tasted like. The familiar cherry-flavored chapstick she wore all the time comes back to you, and you couldn’t help but pull her closer just so you can never forget about it ever again. Sieun puts her hands on your shoulders, and you feel her clutch your sweater. It almost felt like she was angry, maybe she was. Maybe she was mad about how things had to be this way, how things had to be so unfair to the both of you.

But of course, you would always be there to remind her that it’s all going to be worth it. Because at the end of the day, you have each other and the harder things get, the more the two of you hold on and the more you never wanna let go. You will always end up like this: in each other’s arms and sharing your love for one another through kisses, or maybe something as simple as a look.

Sieun was the first to break the kiss, she wraps her arms around your neck and presses her forehead against yours, “You have no idea how much I missed you.” She whispered. It sounded like she was on the verge of crying and it broke your heart.

“That’s why I’m here. I just couldn’t wait until the next time you sneak out of your dorm to come to my house.” You confessed, laughing. Sieun had told you through text about how much she feels bad whenever she lies to her members just to see you and plus, you realized that it has been her that was making an effort to see you most often than the other way around so this genius surprise plan of yours was partly made so that you could give her a break.

“I’m glad you did, I couldn’t wait either... I actually wanted to surprise you after today’s filming was done,” Sieun leans further back to look into your eyes. You raised an eyebrow. Of course that was to be expected from Sieun, but you didn’t think she would do it on a work day! “Yeah, I was going to go straight to your house and bother you until you get sick of me.” Sieun joked.

“Now I wish I just stayed put then, I would love for you to try and get me to get rid of you which, spoiler alert, would never ever happen, just saying.” You replied. You leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on top of your girlfriend’s nose.

Sieun hums, “How are you so sure?” She asked, genuinely curious. You couldn’t even believe that she was asking such a question.

“I always want to be with you,” You answered. You kiss Sieun’s lips, but it was short and quick much to her dismay. You laughed a little, and then you hugged her tightly. “I love you.”

It wasn’t the first time you said that, of course not. But it has felt so long since you voiced it out, so much that it feels like it’s the first time, but that was okay. The first time you said those three words, you heart was beating out of your chest and you voice was shaking from nervousness, having been overwhelmed by your own emotions at the time.

Back then, you were in over your head trying to figure out if Sieun felt the same about you because you really were hopelessly in love. And even though she did say it back before and has since been saying the words first sometimes, you were nervous at her reply. Will she just smile at you? Will she leave? Will she just kiss you and then leave? Do you still feel the same?

“I love you so much more.”

Your heart bends, breaks, and heals all at once at your love’s response. It was something that only Sieun could make you feel.

“Good.” You kiss her again. Again, and again until Sieun couldn’t help but laugh. You missed seeing her beautiful smile with your own eyes, and hearing her laugh over the phone didn’t give you the same butterflies as it would face-to-face. How you wished the two of you could just have a whole week— no, that would be too short. You wished that you could be with Sieun for a whole summer because what better way to spend your favorite season than being with your favorite person?! Obviously you had to stop being a brat about your situation and eat it up, but you were Sieun’s biggest fan and you simply had nothing to blame but... the timing of it all.

You briefly glance behind Sieun and your heart nearly drops to your stomach when you spot Yoon’s tall figure passing by, looking confused. With all your heart, you prayed to the Gods that the second youngest wouldn’t dare to enter your little corner. Mostly because you didn’t want anything to cut your moment with Sieun shorter than it has to be.

“Jayoon is going to talk, and they’re all going to start looking for you,” You said. Sieun hums, not seeming to care at all. Her left cheek was pressed against your right shoulder, her lips just barely grazing against your neck, making you shiver. Right. When Sieun misses you too much, she tends to get drunk with... impulse. You weren’t any different, but at least you had more restraint to not commit to doing monkey business in public! “What’s going to be your excuse?” You asked, trying to take your mind off of the trail of kisses Sieun was leaving up your neck.

“What are you trying to do?” Sieun asked, her breath tickling that funny spot behind your ear that she knows pushes you closer to giving in to her.

You hear footsteps getting closer and you start panicking, “One more second away from the set and I swear we get closer to basically telling everyone we’re gonna get married and have three kids, one named after Chaeyoung.”

“Hm. I guess we better do this quickly, then.” Sieun’s hands somehow finds a way to slip under your sweater, and you flinch backwards, both angry and shocked at how your girlfriend was being so careless at the moment.

You try to let her off easy, “Babe, if you can wait four long months then surely you can hold on for a few hours more.” You said. Sieun narrows her eyes, and you just knew that this was going to be bigger than it has to be. But you felt the need to remind Sieun just what she was trying to risk for something so... invaluable. At least that was how you saw it.

“(Y/N), you’re going to have to learn to just take the chance because what if we never get it again? I’m going to start promotions with the girls soon and, as you always seem to be, you’re going to be drilled with schoolwork and when you are, I don’t even feel like there’s a relationship to be lost!” Sieun spat. Again, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing from your girlfriend, but this time for a very different reason.

You grit your teeth, trying to clear your head and avoid saying anything that might make this tiny flame a devastating inferno, “I’m just saying that this isn’t the time nor the place to do this kind of thing, Sieun. I mean... I’m sure it would take some darn good eyes to spot us but what should we do if that happens? Have you ever thought of a way to deal with the consequences? Think about what you’re going to lose! We can’t keep getting away with a ‘near miss’, you know that.” You said.

“You know, one thing I realized about you while we were apart is you are way too invested in making sure that I keep being a singer. That’s sweet, honey, but I have to ask: are you in this for me or my career?” Sieun’s words had tore a hole in your heart, almost literally.

“How could you say that? I—” You briefly paused and kept your voice down to avoid drawing any attention. “I love you.”

(Sieun hears the sincerity in your tone and it eats her up inside.)

“You’ve worked your whole life to get to this point, I don’t want you to throw it all away for something that is worth nothing, or for someone like me,” You take your girlfriend’s hands with yours and you hold them tightly. As if you never want to let go. “We can do whatever you want when you visit me later, okay?” You hoped that this would be enough to stop all the bad feelings and the arguing, but you knew in your heart that the two of you would have to talk about it again in a more civic and mature way.

Sieun slowly pulls her hands away, and God were you so scared of what her next words implied, “There are a lot of things in my life that I can willingly and wholeheartedly throw away my dream for, one of those things is you, (Y/N). You say you love me, but I guess not to the same extent that I love you.”

Something inside you ticks off and once again, you grit your teeth to control your temper. Civil and mature conversation. Civil and mature conversation. Come on, (Y/N), that’s what we’re going for here.

While you were yelling at yourself about keeping calm, Sieun had already started walking back to the set. She apologized to the director and had told everybody that she took it upon herself to show you where the bathroom was. You were left standing alone in that dark corner in utter disbelief. You would have started crying if it weren’t for the fact that you had to leave in approximately five minutes.

You didn’t give yourself a chance to think about what had just happened with Sieun, you were saving that for midnight. Before you could leave the studio, however, you managed to slip the red rectangular box inside Sieun’s bag undetected and finally, you headed home.

-

Sieun did not visit you.

Not that you really care, not after what went down in the studio. Still, it couldn't be helped that you feel hollow inside your heart. It was the first time Sieun did not visit you when she said that she would. Regardless of whether or not the two of you got into a heated argument, Sieun does not let it last for longer than an hour and takes it upon herself to fix burned bridges.

You thought about apologizing first, but you were afraid that you would be distracting Sieun from her work and you didn't want to make things worse for your relationship. So, you stayed quiet for the whole afternoon. Literally. Even your mother noticed that you weren't talking much, but she didn't say anything about it, which you were thankful for.

You got a message from Seeun an hour after you left. She talked about how everyone was sad that you were only there for such a short time. You didn't give her a reply, mostly because you didn't have the energy to do so. After you helped your mother arrange the groceries, you spent the next few hours sitting on the living room couch and watching endless reruns of old dramas. Occasionally you would open the single novel sitting on top of the coffee table, but you would always find yourself looking back on your phone, hoping that Sieun would at least tell you that she got home safely with the girls.

So far into the evening, nothing.

You sighed, hugging your knees close to your chest. You stared at the tv screen and nearly gagged at the sight of a couple kissing in the most awkward way possible. How typical. You groaned since you reached another ending of an episode and you still haven't moved from your spot due to lack of motivation.

At some point, you spaced out. You started thinking of ways to make it up to Sieun when you inevitably see her again, and you had several scenarios in your head playing out that you didn't notice that your front door had been unlocked and opened. Instinctively, you grabbed the remote and prepared yourself to throw it at the unfortunate burglar that has broken into your home.

“(Y/N)...”

You blink and you realized that it was not a burglar that has broken into your home. Instead, it was the very same girl you had been thinking about the whole day, always. Well, she didn't break into the house. You had completely forgotten about the spare key you allowed Sieun to have. It's been a while since she visited, that's why.

“Sieun...?” You were going to sleep crying about how messy things were between you and your girlfriend, but the she shows up in your house at nearly ten in the evening without warning and you find yourself quite a mess inside your head. There she stood on the other end of the couch, disheveled and exhausted. Possibly from running. You clutched on to the blanket covering your legs, you wanted to wrap it around your girlfriend’s figure to keep her warm, but there were a million questions circling your brain that you couldn’t move from your seat.

Why didn’t she call you? She should be resting and preparing herself for the second day of filming, why is she here? Did she actually run from the dormitory to your house? Is she insane?!

Sieun exhales deeply and sits down on the spot beside you. Without a word, she slowly leans her head on your shoulder and rests it there, her hand finding its own way to yours. You release the tension from your shoulders and relaxed, leaning back. You tried to keep yourself focused on the drama in front of you, just to give Sieun a moment to collect herself and finally talk, but a shining object on your peripheral vision has forced you to turn your head and look down at your girlfriend.

To your surprise, Park Sieun was wearing the necklace you had bought for her.

“I’m shocked to see you didn’t throw it away,” You joked. Sieun was wearing some sweats, a shirt, and a jacket. It was obvious that she was getting ready to settle down for the night and put everything that happened in the afternoon somewhere inside her brain where she didn’t have to think about it until later, but something gave her the energy to just come to you. Until she speaks about it, you won’t ask, but boy was the curiosity killing you. “Most people wouldn’t even want to look at anything that reminds them of their lovers after a quarrel.” You muttered.

“It’s from you. I would never throw away any of your gifts over a stupid fight.” Sieun looks up, and from where you were looking, you could see a better view of the necklace. It looked amazing on her, just as you imagined.

The piece of jewel resting between Sieun’s collarbones was that of a sun because, as cheesy as it sounds, you considered Park Sieun as the one who lights your way. And maybe you were just hopelessly in love with her, but whenever she comes into your vision, everything just seems brighter. Other than that, Park Sieun is a small girl who was fed a boatload of talent as she was growing up. You’ve seen what she can do, and you had no doubt that she is one of the most promising idols in the industry. Just as the sun is one of the brightest stars in the galaxy.

You hear Sieun release a shaky breath and despite the entertaining scene playing in the television, her eyes dwelled up with tears. It felt like your heart was being trampled under someone’s feet and you had no choice but to watch.

“(Y/N), I’m really sor—”

You turn the television off and stood up, abruptly interrupting Sieun. That was on purpose, you were not going to have the talk in a living room couch where your mother could easily walk down and overhear. There was nothing for either of you to worry about since your mother knew of your relationship and was respectful and supportive, but you felt that this was something that should stay between you and Sieun.

You turn around to face your girlfriend. Tears had already started streaming down her beautiful bare face, and you gently wipe them away with your thumbs. You then took Sieun’s hand and nodded your head to the stairs, “Let’s go up. I’ll get the bath ready.”

-

As warm as the water kept you, goosebumps still managed to show themselves on your skin as Sieun started discarding her clothes to the side. You keep your eyes on the faucet, distracting yourself by making scenarios of droplets of water talking to each other in very high-pitched voices in your head. This makes you smile and laugh, but then Sieun joins you in the bathtub and suddenly the droplets of water started screaming in panic. Some even fainted and evaporated, how dark.

Sieun sits in the space between your legs and she hugs her own close to her chest. You rest your chin on her shoulder and wrapped your arms around her waist, holding her tight. She had pulled her hair up in the neat bun, exposing her smooth neck. You felt like kissing her.

Should you start talking? You invited Sieun to join you in the bathroom in hopes of talking in a more private space, but now you were actually in a loss for words.

“What I tried doing earlier,” Sieun speaks. You hum in response, taking one of her hands from under the water and intertwining your fingers. “It was wrong. Not because we were at... risk of being caught, but because I was pressuring you to do something against your will. It doesn’t matter if I missed you like crazy, it was terrible of me to do. I’m—” Sieun turns her head, and her eyes soften at the sight of your gentle look.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers.

“It’s okay,” You replied. You know Sieun would never force you into anything you didn’t want to do in her right mind, she promised you herself as soon as the two of you made things official. “But I understand.” You continued.

“There’s no excuse as to why I would—”

“Let me finish, babe,” You thought about all the times Sieun had to watch you do anything but sit down and talk with her on a day where the two of you were supposed to spend some quality time together after weeks of being apart. And then you thought about the times where you were too reluctant to go on a date outside with Sieun and wasted a free day due to fear of having everything fall apart for her. I’ve been quite the coward. “I think I was being too critical about hiding the fact that we’re dating. You’re the one who makes the most effort to make meetings happen... but I get too scared and before I realize, you’re leaving again and we’ve done nothing.”

“(Y/N)—”

“And then I have the nerve to blame you and your work and the industry when it was me who was slowly ruining this relationship all along. I— How are you not sick of me?” You absolutely hated how you let every good opportunity slip away, how you might have made Sieun feel that she wasn’t in a relationship, how you were never the ‘good lover’ you always wanted to believe you were. You wanted to change, but how will you ever get rid of the feeling that follows whenever you do something even remotely romantic with Sieun in public?

The feeling that you will ruin Sieun’s life, as well as your best friend’s, and that everyone will hate you for it. That Sieun will hate you for it.

“You were protecting me. I appreciate what you do for me and I always will,” Sieun cups your cheeks and leaves soft kisses all over your face. Your heart swells with sadness and the remaining bits of frustration over your past actions, but Sieun’s presence keeps those emotions at bay and eventually your heart was as light as a feather. “I would never hate you for doing what you think is the best for us. You’re my everything, (Y/N).”

Sieun kisses you, and while it was less intense than the one you shared earlier, it holds the same passion and feeling. It was a bit awkward considering that there wasn’t a lot of space for either of you to work in, but you didn’t care about that. All you wanted to do was cherish this moment and never let go of it just yet. There were a lot of things that Sieun made you feel. There was probably no way you can express them all verbally, but you hoped that this kiss would be enough to give Sieun a hint of your true feelings for her.

There wasn’t a limit when it comes to how much you should love a person, and it would be impossible to measure anyway because you knew that every passing second, you love for Sieun grows so much that it could beat the size of the universe.

“We don’t have to hide a lot anymore,” Sieun says after a while, leaning her back into your chest. You blinked, what does that mean? “The girls know.”

Your blood runs cold, “T-They...?”

Sieun nods, “Even the staff.” What the hell? I guess we weren’t as slick as we thought.

Sieun sighs blissfully and relaxes in your embrace. You raised an eyebrow, “You seem awfully calm about all of this.” You said. You thought that Sieun would be as nervous as you are right now. Hell, you were even preparing a whole speech in your head just in case there comes a time where you would have to defend your relationship against the world.

“Yeah, it’s good that they know.” Sieun says, and the content smile plastered on her face was enough to make you believe her words.

-

[A few hours earlier...]

“Rest well, girls. You’ll have a long day tomorrow.”

The members of STAYC thank their manager and bowed politely before making their way inside their dormitory. Immediately, Yoon and Seeun flop down on the couch, groaning about how their legs could not work anymore. Sumin heads straight to the kitchen, already thinking of what to make for dinner. J joins Yoon and Seeun on the couch, comforting them while also teasing them about their ever-deteriorating stamina.

Isa and Sieun were the last to enter. They were silent, and that, Isa thought, was weird in a way.

“What would you all like to have for dinner?” Sumin asks from the kitchen, staring intently at the contents inside the refrigerator as if her desired ingredients would appear if she just stares longer.

“We want—”

A door slams shut, making Yoon flinch and stop talking. Everyone turns their head to the front door and Sieun was nowhere to be found. She had stomped inside her shared room with Isa, J, and Seeun without a word. Isa sighs, contemplating whether she should apprehend Sieun about her behavior or leave her to her thoughts.

Sumin pokes her head out, “Does anybody know what’s going on with her?” She asked. Everybody shrugged, all of them had a different answer they all voiced out.

“Alright. Well, we can’t eat good dinner with a dark cloud above our heads! Yeeun, you’re on grocery duty with me. Chaeyoung, Seeun, and Jayoon, do what you do best and make Sieun smile.” Sumin said, grinning. She and Yeeun leave the dormitory once again, and the rest of the girls were left in the living room feeling clueless.

They all shared a look and then they just knew what to do.

Isa knocks on the door and as expected, Sieun doesn’t answer. Carefully, Isa opens the door and there they found Sieun sitting on her bed, staring at the floor with a dark look on her face. Yoon almost aborted the mission, having been scared of the thought of getting close to Sieun when’s angry, but Seeun keeps her with her and Isa as they tiptoed their way inside the room.

“Hi, unnie.” Seeun said, smiling at the older girl. Sieun looks at her, but doesn’t smile back. Seeun was starting to think that maybe Yoon was right to try and run away from the task. Isa, however, was determined.

The third eldest decided to be frank, “Trouble in paradise?” She asked.

“I just... I think I messed up with— wait, what did you say?” Sieun snaps her head up, now looking at Isa with wide eyes.

“You and (Y/N). You fought, didn’t you?” Isa asks again, making it clear to Sieun that yes, she knows exactly what she is talking about.

Sieun looks at the younger girls and she finds herself in utter disbelief, “You knew?”

Yoon nods, “We’ve all known for a while, actually. Seeun-unnie was the first one, and being Seeun-unnie she accidentally spilled it on us... but it wouldn’t really take a genius to find out about you and (Y/N).” She said. Sieun releases a heavy sigh, then she laughs at herself. All that effort just to find out that the girls have known all along. She didn’t know whether to think it was funny or sad for her, but at least she isn’t being yelled at.

“How...? And when?” Sieun directed the question to Seeun.

Seeun sits on the spot next to the second eldest and tries to remember the exact moment she found out about the not-so-secret relationship, “When we weren’t so busy, (Y/N) came over and played with me and Yeeun for a bit. You were in your room, so you didn’t know that she was here yet. Yeeun and I went to the kitchen to grab some snacks, but then I forgot to ask (Y/N) what she wanted to have. So, I went back to the living room to talk to her and... well,” Seeun grins at the memory. It was one of the moments where her heart felt so full at the sight of your smile. Don’t get her wrong, it wasn’t anything romantic. You were her best friend and if you were happy, she was happy. “She had this big dumb smile on her face while she was staring at her phone and I wondered what could be the cause of that. Turns out that she was going crazy over a cheesy message you sent at the time. I send her the same messages and she just replies with the vomit emoji, but when it was you... I have never seen her so happy.”

Sieun blushes. While she doesn’t remember that exact time, she felt rather reassured after hearing Seeun’s words. “Why didn’t you say anything to me? To us? You know, we were breaking our backs trying to hide it from everybody.” The second eldest sighed.

Seeun thinks hard about it. She knew in her heart that she would’ve confronted the couple about it, not only because she finds pleasure in teasing her tough best friend but mostly because she was over the moon about the two of you finding happiness in one another.

“I don’t know... I guess I felt like I would be intruding— or maybe I thought your hard work would be wasted. Something like that,” Seeun shrugs, giggling about her lack of a clear answer. “But just so you know, I didn’t actually tell the girls about you and (Y/N)! I’m not a snitch! I just... said some small things and they were smart enough to figure it out!” Seeun defends herself, playfully glaring at Yoon.

“No, Jayoon was right. Perhaps we really were a little too obvious about it. Mostly me, probably.” Sieun says, sighing. Not even Seeun visits you in your own home often and you’re practically joined by the hip! And how does Seeun know whenever Sieun was at your place? Well, she could always tell when you’re occupied (you really just don’t respond to the hundred old pictures of Richie she sends), and Sieun always makes sure to make herself look extra pretty on the days she would sneak out to meet up with you.

“Alright, well, now that that’s out of the way, what happened between the two of you in that little corner?” Isa asked, sitting down on the bed across Sieun’s. The second eldest finds herself feeling extremely embarrassed now that she knows that Isa, and probably all of the girls, know where the two of you decided to hide that time. God knows what else they could’ve seen.

“Other than, you know, the kissing.” Yoon commented.

“Please don’t... bring that up.” Sieun shakes her head, flustered. Both Seeun and Yoon sit down on either side of Sieun, making kissing noises to tease her endlessly. Isa sits on the bed across from Sieun's, laughing at the younger girls' antics.

Sieun covers her face with her hands, groaning, "I went... overboard. N-Nothing happened but... fuck, I— I missed her. And she was there, and I just wanted to feel close to her again. It wasn't the right time, I know, but that's not the point. I got mad and I yelled and I said all these horrible things to her and... and now I don't know if I can even face her." She was in complete distraught.

The two of you have fought before, sure. But neither of you have let it gone for this long and let it go this bad. Sieun knows that she has to talk to you, that she has to be the one to apologize because she was the one in the wrong, but she is so, so scared of what you might say to her. A cold and unforgiving look did not suit the sweet eyes Sieun has gotten to love so much but with the state she left you, Sieun thinks that the worst might just happen the next time you two see each other.

You were the best thing that's ever happened to her. All her life she felt that something was missing. Even achieving her greatest dream did not make that hollow feeling go away. Then she met you, and slowly all the pieces of her incomplete puzzle started coming together.

Sieun feels tears building up in her eyes and clutches on her bed tightly, "I don't want lose (Y/N). I can't lose her."

Yoon caresses the older girl's back to comfort her, pouting at Sieun's pitiful sight. Isa only stares, sighing and finding herself thinking of ways to help Sieun. Seeun stands up and grabs Sieun's bag from floor. Sieun doesn't say anything when the younger girl fishes through her bag. She didn't have the strength to do anything at all.

Seeun cracks a proud smile on her pretty face when she successful finds the red box inside Sieun's bag. Everyone in the room perks up at the sight of the unfamiliar object. Seeun gently places the box on Sieun's lap.

"It's from (Y/N), obviously," Seeun takes off the cover and reveals the beautiful sun necklace you've bought for her. The jewel seemed to shine brightly under the light, and Yoon mutters something about it being the prettiest necklace she has ever seen. "(Y/N) is very... simple. Traditional. Not that it's a bad thing. I meant that... her love isn't anything grand, but that's what make her so appealing. She's my best friend so I can say that." Seen clasps the necklace behind Sieun and admired it. You really did have the best taste in jewelry.

"My point is you don't have to make a song, or tell her a poem to fix all this. Just, you know, be there and say sorry," Seeun sits back down beside Sieun, smiling at her. "She's hurting right now too. I think it would help if you were there." Seeun glances at her own phone, frowning at the realization that you haven't replied to her messages at all.

Sieun touches the sun-shaped jewel resting on her collarbone, and it made her think of you — her very own star, shining down on her when everything gets dark. The one person who she knows will always be there when she needs them, the one person who will love her and care for her unconditionally. She couldn't afford to lose you, your love, your very randomly-timed gifts, your smile, your laugh, and that future that Sieun so badly wanted with you.

"I... I need to go." Sieun doesn't even wait for a reply from her members. She sprints out of the room, barely able to grab the keys to your house as she did so, put on her sneakers in record speed before dashing out of the dorms.

The crisp, cold air hits Sieun's face while she races down the street she knows all too well, but she knew a world without you in her life would be colder, and it would hurt more. Sieun held the sun jewel in her hand while she ran, lungs begging for air and legs begging for a stop but she couldn't. She had to see you. And be with you again.

Everything was about you, and for you. It always will be, for Sieun.

Finally, Sieun comes to a stop at your front porch. The curtains were drawn, but she could faintly see the drama being played on the television and the dim light coming from your kitchen. Sieun hoped it wasn't your mother because she would have too much of an explaining to do. Sieun approaches your front door, puts the key inside the lock and turns the doorknob cautiously.

Sieun steps inside the living room and sees you, her girlfriend, all the more ready to attack her with the remote control for the television. She could laugh, but she was too exhausted from all the running she did. And plus, making eye contact with you after everything she did made her so, so weak.

"(Y/N)..." God, she could barely speak your name.

You dropped the remote control on the couch, "Sieun...?" She missed your voice a lot. Sieun releases a deep breath and settles herself beside you, your warmth immediately getting rid of every fear, doubt, and shame in her head. She rested her head on your shoulder and took your hand in hers, intertwining your fingers and holding it tightly. She never wants to let go.

Sieun knew she was a work in progress, but she was willing to do anything for you. Whether it be giving up her dreams, or swallowing her pride, or literally running miles just to see you — for your love was worth having more than any of the stars in the universe, and the universes beyond that.

[forhereyesonlyyy]

OKAY SO... ‼️‼️A FEW THINGS‼️‼️

• yea ik the radio silence was bad BUT YOU GUYS ARE USED TO THIS RIGHT...

• since the only group i'm really only interested in right now is ive, i want to make a separate blog where i write just for them (and ofc repost my stuff from here) bcs ya'll have no idea how much ive stuff is in my drafts omg... but i'm still not sure about it 😩 i think it would help if you guys tell me what you think about it in my asks 🥹

• speaking of making new blogs (even though i don't have to i'm just a sucker for order), i have been really, really into reading social media aus and tbh i've been inspired to make some of my own in a separate blog bcs let's be honest this one's a mess but ya'll are familiar with my work ethic... BUT STILL if you guys are interested in what i have planned for aus, please tell me so i know 🥺

• may make a whole new rules and masterlist things cuz the current ones are kinda messy so if your feed is a disaster cuz of me, just know i'm organizing 😭😭😭

• ‼️HOWEVER‼️ just because i want to make a separate blog for ive does not mean i will not write for other ggs anymore! i have stuff in my drafts for groups such as stayc, loona, and even chaewon still 😭 plus i have been trying to get into aespa and the rest of ssera more just so there's a bit of variety here SO DON'T YOU GUYS WORRY 🥹🥹

that's all! to those who have been patient and know that i'm still alive, kicking, and indeed working on things i love you... 🫠🫠

[forhereyesonlyyy]

so i saw ive today

[forhereyesonlyyy]

filipino ahn yujinators wake up i'm gonna write a very short, very self-indulgent taglish smau real quick

[forhereyesonlyyy]

take a shot whenever i write a short where there's a part where any bf material female idols that have jock energy gives their (y/n) their varsity jacket . we'll be blacked-out drunk .

[forhereyesonlyyy]

ok so what if yoon and yujin were like . in the school volleyball team but they hate each other's guts and are always on each other's asses even during official matches, but they have to try and get along because their crushes, seeun and wonyoung, are practically best friends and if they want to get their girls, they have to work together 😭

and what if it's yoon that likes wonyoung, and it's yujin that likes seeun .

[forhereyesonlyyy]

it’s just you and me. — an an yujin x reader short.

word count: 1.7k

author’s note: okay,, i hope tumblr won’t jumble up the words this time or else i’m gonna make it everyone’s problem 😭😭 i hope you all enjoy this one! i’m going to try and keep this momentum going!! 👊💥

warnings: mild swearing, suggestive towards the end.

“brr.” you shivered when a cold gust of wind blows towards you. you swear that when you finally manage to get to that old park, you would strangle an yujin for somehow coaxing you into hanging out past midnight with her. you have never been able to say no to her, of course, but this was just ridiculous.

what if she was just playing with you? what if this was another one of her pranks again? perhaps this time you might call off whatever the fuck it was that you had with her and live the rest of your life in solitude.

...no, you wouldn’t. you could never ever leave yujin. as annoying as she was, you can’t imagine making it through a day without seeing her smile, without holding her hand, and without that kiss on the cheek she has made a bad habit of giving to you every time you do something that she thought was adorable. like, existing.

you thought of that smile for the rest of the walk towards the old park. that smile kept you warm. inside, at least. you still shivered like crazy as you walked. you really wished you wore a coat instead of a hoodie.

when you reached the old park, there was no sign of yujin. your heart faltered a little bit, but you kept your hopes up and settled on a bench. you rubbed your hands up and down your arms, and wrapped your jacket around yourself tighter. minutes passed and irritation was starting to build up inside you. 

that little shit...

and then, all of a sudden, the familiar scent of your best friend started wafting into your nose, and you realized that yujin’s varsity jacket had been put down on your shoulders. you looked up, and then soft lips were pressed into your cheek, and warmth spread from your chest all the way up to your face.

yujin leans back to take a good look at your face. of course, she grins when she sees that you were blushing. “i always wanted to see how that jacket would look on you. this was a perfect idea, wasn’t it?” she said, sitting down beside you.

“my ass is frozen.”

“perfect idea!” yujin guffawed. you punched her shoulder playfully, but you did also put on her jacket, relishing in its warmth and softness.

“you couldn’t have called me over or something? and why a creepy old park? at midnight? are you going to knock me out?” you continued to pretend to be angry. pretend, because all yujin really needed to do to chase your anger away was to show up and it would all be gone. pretend, because you could never really get mad at yujin.

pretend, because that was what you and yujin have been doing for the longest time. pretending that the hand-holding means nothing. that the kisses, the hugs, the late night calls, the stares, and the feelings are truly just what ‘best friends’ do.

“i wanted to hang out. simple.” yujin replied. she was wearing a thick jacket underneath a sweatshirt and a skirt! you had no idea how she didn’t even look like the cold was bothering her. her hair was askew, probably from the wind. you wanted to fix it. so you do. you moved closer and reached up, combing your fingers through your best friend’s hair. yujin closed her eyes, leaning into your touch with a contented look on her face.

i wanted to hang out. simple. in other words, there’s something wrong. i need you.

knowing yujin, she wouldn’t tell you anything of what had bothered her until later. and you were fine with that. you always have been.

“c’mere,” you gently pulled yujin into your arms. she quietly rested her face on the crook of your neck. she seemed calm for the first few seconds, but then, she wrapped her arms around your waist tightly, as if she was scared you would slip away. “it’s alright, yujin.” you whispered.

yujin raised her head, and you moved your hands so that you would be cupping her cheeks, pressing your forehead against hers. the two of you have been in this situation a hundred times before, but it was only now that your heart ached being this close to yujin. every time this happens, there was always something ringing in your ear, as if it was telling you that you weren’t ready to completely cross that boundary with yujin. not yet.

but this has gone on for too long, has it not? years and years of this game.

you closed your eyes and recalled the many times that you have held yujin’s face this close. at every single moment and at the very last second, you wouldn’t make the move to kiss her like you always wanted to. you would hug her, and you would do it all day to make up for the one simple thing you can never bring yourself to do.

you opened your eyes and met yujin’s once again. unsaid words came to you.

what are you waiting for?

your jaw clenched. and when you intended to make the slightest moves, yujin held you closer.

kiss me. kiss me. kiss me.

not being able to withstand your head anymore, you tilted your head and caught yujin’s lips with yours. the sinking feeling in your chest—the one you have had for years, caused by regrets, guilt, and shame—slowly dissipates when you felt yujin’s lips move with yours in sync. like she’d practiced it before. or rather, like she’d always known how you would kiss her.

yujin presses herself closer to you. she has been waiting for this for the longest time, and now that it was here, all she wanted to do was forget everything and everyone else and lose herself in you, your lips, and your heart. so when you moved your hands down to clutch her jacket, she takes your face in her hands and guides you herself.

her lips tasted like the peach-flavored chapstick she wore all the time, the same one you would sometimes borrow just to feel close enough to yujin’s lips. there was the strange taste of strawberries on her tongue, which you immediately knew was caused by the vape she carried around. she smelled like strawberries and the wind, and the more she kisses you the longer your brain turns into a puddle, incapable of wanting to think of doing anything else but to kiss yujin.

your hands find their way underneath yujin’s sweatshirt, making a heavenly sound escape yujin’s lips when your cold hands make contact with her warm skin. “easy, tiger.” yujin whispered against your lips with a smirk. you couldn’t help but giggle, retracting your hands and putting them on her hips instead. yujin kisses you again, softly this time, with her hands on your shoulders.

“(y/n),” you didn’t much liked your name. you preferred nicknames, actually, but something about yujin saying it made it a bit more okay to hear. “(y/n).” a gust of cold wind blows past the two of you, and she puts her lips on yours again. you don’t think you could ever get tired of this.

“do you love me, (y/n)?” yujin asked. her voice shook and it wasn’t because of the cold. having been friends with yujin for the longest time, you were the one who tend to notice the smallest changes in her. when yujin asked her question, she sounded scared. she didn’t even sound like she wanted to ask that question because she was scared.

despite your confusion at her tone, you didn’t think twice before answering. “yes,” you tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and placed a quick kiss on her trembling lips. “i love you.” more than anything, you wanted to add. but that was a conversation for another day.

yujin’s next words surprised you, “show me.”

entranced by her crystal clear eyes, you took her by the hand and pulled her up from the bench. the two of you left the park in silence, with only your thoughts occupying your ears. you walked slightly ahead of yujin even though your hands were linked, and every time you turned your head slightly, you would see that she was staring at you. nothing but complete adoration in her eyes. you were pretty sure that yujin could see how the back of your neck flushed.

there was an unspoken agreement between the two of you where it was decided that it was your home that the two of you would be settling down in for the night. it wouldn’t take a complete fool to know that yujin did not want to be in her house. you led yujin inside your home and tugged her along the dark hallway where your bedroom was hidden in.

as soon as you flipped the lock on your door, yujin’s lips was on yours again, her hands all over you. when you pulled her towards your bed and she attacked your neck with kisses while straddling your lap as you fumbled to take her jacket off, the rest of the night became mere flashes of yujin underneath you, nails digging into your shoulders while you whispered sweet nothings into her ear as you did what she asked you to do — to show her that you loved her.

when you eventually collapsed next to her, something in the back of your brain doubted that yujin was being serious throughout the night. did she really want you to kiss her in the park? did she really ask you to do all that? hell, did you two really just do that?

it seems like yujin developed some sort of ability to hear your thoughts, because she turns to face you after catching her breath. the moonlight that shone through your window reflected in her eyes, and you swore that you saw the stars in them when she smiled at you.

the entire world seemed to have become silent just for you to hear those three lovely words leave yujin’s lips. and then, she held you close, as if to wash away all your worries and doubts — just as you’ve done for her when you finally kissed her earlier.

for the majority of the night, the two of you stared at each other in silence like the idiots in love that you are, and took advantage of the idea that it was truly only you and yujin the entire world; void of troubles, hardships, and issues. surrounded only by the love you held for one another, forever and after.

[forhereyesonlyyy]

cupid’s work. — a jang wonyoung x reader short.

word count: 1.9k

author’s note: trying something new! a lot of the things in my drafts are super long, so i wanted to try my hand at writing a short that is actually short (and very vague) where i’m less strict with spelling and grammar and all that jazz and just try to vibe, ha. anyway, i hope you enjoy this~ if i see that you guys like this enough i might make a cute little continuation too <33

author's note 2.0: YA'LL... tumblr is becoming my worst enemy idk why the order of the paragraphs(?????) is getting jumbled up PLS BEAR WITH IT 😭😭

warnings: none.

sometimes you wondered if you were extremely lucky, or horrifyingly unfortunate.

when your managers had told you and your group that you would be filming a variety show with another girl group, you were overjoyed. you have always wanted to make friends with your colleagues, but have been too shy to do so. jayoon was more fit for that kind of thing; socializing. but you thought that you would finally try to come out of your shell in this variety show by making the first move on whoever the other girls may be, until you were told of them.

“ive.”

you didn’t miss the way chaeyoung and sieun gave you a sideways glance at the mention of the popular group. while jayoon and seeun shared a high five, and yeeun and sumin nodded excitedly, you were sinking into your seat.

“what, (y/n)? not happy with the other group?” your manager asked, noticing the distraught look on your face.

you perked up, “i am!”

“i bet you are.” jayoon teased. you kicked her leg under the table, but she only laughed.

your managers decided that it was better not to know whatever it was that bothered you, and had concluded the meeting right after they dropped the date when the groups will meet up for further discussions about the show. nobody talked for the first few minutes after the meeting ended, but when you saw chaeyoung smiling at you, you knew all of them were going to speak of a certain someone.

“so,” sieun started. you busied yourself with looking at your nails, pretending as if you didn’t know that sieun was talking to you. “i think i speak for everyone when i say that you should shoot your shot during this show.”

“absolutely not,” you replied immediately. “that’s... that will never work out! right, sumin?” it was your futile attempt to pull someone on your side.

much to your dismay, your leader only smiled sheepishly at you, “i agree with sieun. it’s getting a little sad seeing you pine for her from afar.”

“and trust me, we all want to be spared of your awkward greetings and even more awkward small talks in the music show hallways.” seeun added, shaking her head. you scoffed, crossing your arms, but you didn’t find the grit to fight back. it really wasn’t your fault that you get tongue-tied in the presence of the idol of this generation!

“hey, we’ll help you as much as we can. but seriously, have faith in yourself! everything will work out fine! you’ll see in the meeting that we’ll have with them that you two will get along well!” chaeyoung, bless her heart, holds your hand in consolation.

“unless you shit your pants, then i don’t think we’ll be able to help you with that.” jayoon said. you groaned, hiding your face in your hands while chaeyoung scolds jayoon in the background.

seriously, what were you going to do?

~

“i feel like my heart is going to break out of my ribcage and make a run for it.” you paced around the practice room restlessly. it was the day that stayc and ive will have their meeting for the variety show. when the news was announced on the internet, everybody seemed excited for it. what was better than having one girl group in a variety show? two, of course! both fans of the groups were excited for all of the members of be interacting, and your heart warmed at the encouraging comments of you fans, saying that you will finally have your moment to make friends, like you have always said you wanted to do.

“they’ll be here in a sec, girls.” one of the staff said. you heard jayoon and yeeun snickering behind you, but they both patted your back for good luck.

“i’m gonna faint.” you told sieun.

but you weren’t going to lie, it felt like it was the end of the world.

“you’re not gonna faint.”

and then almost immediately, the door swings open and the first face your eyes set on were jang wonyoung’s. she towered above everybody else and in your eyes, she always had that glow around her that made it hard for you to ignore her. and really, it was your big pathetic crush on her that just automatically made you look at her.

chaeyoung, who was genuinely worried that you would pass out, places her arm around your waist and had you bowing towards the other group with her, as well as the rest of your group.

“hi, (y/n)!” rei greeted, grabbing both of your hands and shaking them. you got acquainted with her a long time ago, after bumping into her in a bakery and finding yourselves being completely at peace in each other’s company. ever since that, you’ve been friends, but you hadn’t told her about your infatuation towards her fellow member though.

“hello.” wonyoung greeted you, bowing again. you found your words stuck in your throat, and only bowed back. you avoided looking at her because every time she was around, it was hard to keep yourself together. (which was a shame, because you would’ve seen the slightest look of disappointment on wonyoung’s face when you avoided her eyes.)

once the groups were introduced to each other, the producer of the show, who was a relatively young woman, ushered you all to sit down on the floor with her. you sat in between seeun and rei and about three seats away was wonyoung. you continued to look at everyone else but her.

“oh, (y/n). are you not feeling well today? you look a bit pale.” the producer said.

everyone turns their head towards you, making you flinch. even jayoon seemed genuinely worried. she was afraid that she might have taken her teasing too far and had actually scared you into ignoring your crush. but you frantically shook your head, laughing nervously, “i’m alright!” you told the producer.

seeun puts her hand on your forehead, “you’re not sick, are you?” she asked. 

you gently took her hand and rested your joined hands on your lap, “no, no. i’m fine, really.” you said.

(wonyoung studied you closely. she noticed the way you didn’t know what to do with your hands after seeun lets go of it, the way your eyes darted everywhere, and the way you didn’t look like you were listening at all. she got worried.)

after that, the producer then went on to the details of the show. the groups will be traveling together in popular tourist spots and will occasionally have friendly competition from time to time. the show is mostly about building friendships between idol groups and overall just wholesome content for the groups’ fans. everybody loved it, and you felt genuinely excited about it all.

“speaking of games, there’s no way we can’t not do the lie detector game.” the producer said, a mischievous grin spreading across her lips. the lie detector machine was filled with bullshit, as you have come to know, but every time your members get shocked by it, it was always fun.

plus, it was the only time that you got to do the teasing.

“although we might need to protect anyone who might be weak to being poked fun at,” the producer joked. your members nodded, and of course the producer sees the way jayoon and yeeun looked at you while they giggled. “(y/n), you’re not good with jokes?” the producer asked.

you shook your head, playfully glaring at jayoon and yeeun. “it’s just that you don’t really need a lie detector to find out if she’s being truthful or not.” sumin clarified, which really only made things worse on your end.

the producer laughed, “really? should i try it out then? (y/n)-ah, do you have a crush on someone right now?” well, that was a conveniently timed question. your members laughed, so you couldn’t help but laugh with them while your cheeks inhabited a very deep red color.

rei looks at you with wide eyes, “whoa.” she said. you covered your blushing face and leaned into rei, shaking your head. while your members started teasing you about how big of a trouble you were going to be in once you all play the game, you made eye contact with wonyoung, who had a fond smile on her face, and only blushed harder.

you looked away, but you couldn’t hide your shy grin.

(wonyoung’s heartbeat started racing. no way. her own cheeks started flushing pink. oh, good god.)

when the meeting ended, it only felt like there was the start to a great friendship. you hugged rei goodbye and gave yujin and leeseo a warm side hug (those two talked to you a lot during the meeting, always adding onto your ideas and looking at you attentively as you talked).

“goodbye for now.” wonyoung tells you as she approached the door with her members.

“goodbye—” your mouth clamps shut and your heart drops when wonyoung suddenly squeezed your hand before waving and bowing towards your members. once ive was out the door, you stared at your hand with wide eyes.

“holy shit, (y/n).” seeun, who witnessed the whole moment, said.

you nodded and breathlessly you replied, “holy shit.”

“i’m not the only one who saw that, right?” yujin asked, nudging wonyoung with her elbow. wonyoung has been smiling for a while now. “i can’t believe you’re going to get a girlfriend before i do.” the leader said, sighing.

~

ive was a mess in high up entertainment’s parking lot.

“i knew i wasn’t hallucinating when i saw it!” liz exclaimed, bouncing on her feet. they were, of course, talking about the very brief moment you looked at wonyoung when the producer mentioned crushes.

yujin smirked, “how did you know she was talking about (y/n)?”

“what? (y/n) didn’t even say she was crushing on me! also, that would be ridiculous. i’m just me, and she’s (y/n) of stayc.” wonyoung said, forcing herself to laugh.

gaeul stared at her, simply amazed to see the wonyoung looking so infatuated, “you’re in deep, huh?”

wonyoung paused, and once again, she found herself blushing.

yes. terribly so. jang wonyoung has had the biggest crush on you for... wow, she can’t even say exactly when. but she remembered it as clear as yesterday. being friends with rei, it made sense that you would do everything to support her and her group. so, it didn’t surprise wonyoung when you made a surprise visit during an ive comeback show. what did surprise her was how you had apparently worked hard getting the perfect bouquets for each and every member.

wonyoung found herself feeling completely enchanted by you when you handed her a beautiful bouquet. her heart melted at your words that day too.

“i saw these light pink tulips and thought of you. they’re candid, yes, but they’re very beautiful. i felt like they suit you the best — simple, but that factor is what made them so perfect. a-ah! i hope you don’t take that the wrong way! i-i wasn’t trying to insult you, or anything...”

wonyoung spent the next couple of minutes consoling you that time. those tulips were long gone now, but wonyoung never forgot about your words. ever since then, you have been on her mind, as well as her heart.

her holding your hand for a brief moment was only the start of her attempt to finally tell you of her feelings, which she hoped that you shared.

throughout the ride back to the dorms, wonyoung was smiling quietly in her seat, with only the thought of holding your hand a lot more in the future in her mind.

[forhereyesonlyyy]

i would like to offer my condolences to the family, friends, and fans of moon bin from astro. it is a shame to lose yet another shining star at such a young age, but i sincerely hope moon bin finds peace wherever he may be now. let's all support those deeply affected by this tragedy and hope that they return stronger than ever, knowing that moon bin will always be with them in their hearts.

i knew moon bin because he was a very close friend of one of my favorite idols, but i shouldn't remember him as such because he was so much more than that. he was his parents' son, his sister's older brother, and an idol to so many people. and now he has become a real star in the sky.

rest in peace, moon bin, you are so loved 🕊️🌟

edit: i know this post is sudden but i could not bring myself to just continue posting one-shots as if this isn't happening because unfortunately, it is </3 to my aroha friends out there, please stay strong.

[forhereyesonlyyy]

hi!! i've been binge reading and rereading your works and i wanna ask if you plan on continuing on making more works?? you're so good and the stories here got me so hooked on them!! ♡♡

aaaa 🥺🥺 thank you sm for your kind words, i'm glad you enjoyed my shorts !!! and of course i will continue making stories 😆 i got lots in my drafts and even more inside my head, i just take forever to write them down and post them 😭

[forhereyesonlyyy]

ive masterlist.

— OT6.

➼ nothing to see here yet!

— GAEUL.

➼ nothing to see here yet!

— YUJIN.

➼ can you see me? (i've seen you.) // one-shot.

➼ it's just you and me. // short.

— REI.

➼ nothing to see here yet!

— WONYOUNG.

➼ cupid's work. // short.

— LIZ.

➼ nothing to see here yet!

— LEESEO.

➼ 🐯💞

[forhereyesonlyyy]

can't you see me? (i've seen you.) // ive, ayj. // one-shot.

in which the resident dork ahn yujin gets a major makeover coming into junior year, but you've always liked her thick glasses and messy personality.

word count: 5.8k

author's note: WHOAAAAA user forhereyesonly is finally uploading her promised one-shot after months of radio silence?! miracles do happen!! but in all seriousness, i'm sorry i took so long but here i am, letting you all know that i am indeed alive and well. i actually finished this one-shot months ago but i have been swamped with Life but now i am letting it fly! i hope you all enjoy reading this!! (i will be making a masterlist for ive soon! oh, and if there are any mistakes, pls look away lmao.)

tags: high school au, fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers, wlw, hopeless romantics, useless lesbians, pls help the reader she is crushing so hard, everything goes over the reader's head unless she gets hit with the truth in the face, very brief weaboo war bcs i miss my weaboo days.

warnings: none.

September. Junior year. Ahn Yujin becomes the talk of the town.

She ditched the short hair and bangs, the oversized sweaters, the baggy sweatpants, the comics and manga she always had stuffed in her bag, and her glasses. It was all replaced by long and shiny light brown hair, clothes that hugged her slender body, unnecessarily expensive-looking school supplies, and clear contact lenses that made her eyes burn with a certain fire.

You can admit that just like everyone else, you were awestruck when you first saw her saunter down the hallway on the first day of school. Who wouldn't? Ahn Yujin has always been drop-dead gorgeous, at least that was your opinion. She has always caught your eye, even when she was wearing those adorable black-rimmed glasses. You didn't see the whole situation as a 'makeover' but more of an... 'upgrade'.

Although it was not like Ahn Yujin of all people needed it.

Ever since her big 'makeover', Yujin was the only thing everyone was talking about. It made you uncomfortable how the boys would talk about her, but at least they weren't being gross. You just hated the fact that everyone was suddenly looking at her because she 'got pretty'. That claim made your blood boil. Even if you weren't good friends with Yujin, you would always consider her as the prettiest girl you've ever seen.

You were worried that Yujin did all this to be liked by everyone. She didn't need to. She had a heart of gold, a fun personality, interesting traits, and a natural talent at making people pay attention to her. That was what made you so interested in her, and that was what made you want to approach her and get to know her.

You just wished that people felt the same as you.

"It can't be helped that people just want to get in other people's pants, (Y/N)," Yuna tells you one day. Her statement made you hit her shoulder lightly, not liking the way she talks about Yujin. "It's true, though! Not everybody is pure and genuinely kind as you are. It's unfortunate, but it's how high school works."

"You spend too much time binging shows on Netflix is what it sounds like to me." Seeun quips. She smacks her lips and gives you your peach-flavored chapstick back, showing you her natural and beautiful smile. Yuna says something about how some shows accurately depict the way school days turn into fashion shows but you decided to shut her out and focus on Ahn Yujin, who was standing in front of her own locker surrounded by a couple of boys. Her poor soul.

Yujin looked like she was diligently listening to whatever those boys were saying, but her tight-lipped smile and frequent nods were a cry for help. Yujin's eyes leaves one of the loud boys for a second and meets yours. You flinched, she puts her attention back on the boys as if nothing happened.

"(Y/N), Ryujin's bored so she wants to take us to the outdoor theatre after school. Wanna come along?" Yuna asks. Without looking, you shut your locker tight and started walking towards Yujin, ignoring your friends' calls and questions. You've seen this situation before, and you always know what to do.

Yujin never asked you to do it, nor did you ever tell her that you would do it. But every time she had a crowd on her, her eyes would meet yours among the sea of people and something just pulls you to her.

"Hey, Yujin," You would say when you arrived in the crowd. Everyone would stop talking because you were (Y/N). Nobody dared to talk over you because you were harmless, you were nice, and Yujin knew you. "Ready to go?" You would reach out to her and she would take your hand without hesitation. The two of you always leave in silence.

Yujin would loosen her grip the more the two of you walk away from the crowd. You figured that being around that many boys would make her feel overwhelmed, no matter how calm and collected she looked. You stop in front of your locker where Seeun and Yuna watched the whole scene, as they have been doing countless times since Yujin gathered everybody's attention.

"Chivalry isn't dead," Yuna smirks. You rolled your eyes, and your hand slips out of Yujin's grip. "Although you should really grow a pair and reject them all at once, Yujin."

The girl in question sighs, "I should, but none of them ever even told me they like me! I don't want to look like a stuck-up." Yujin exclaimed. Even when stressed, she looked pretty. That was a weird observation but you just couldn't ignore it.

You failed to suppress a flinch when Yujin beams at you. "Thanks again, (Y/N). You're my hero." She tells you, leaning into you and bumping you gently with her shoulder.

"Don't mention it." You muttered, fiddling with the straps of your backpack. Seeun smiles at you with knowing eyes, but you ignore her.

The four of you make your way towards your first class which you all coincidentally share. Yuna and Yujin lead the way as they chatted loudly about everything; from their breakfast to their dinner plans. Meanwhile, you and Seeun trailed behind them. Quiet, which was unusual considering Seeun usually had something to say whether it was about her girlfriend Chaeyoung or schoolwork, but no. She seemed lost in her thoughts, but you were too.

Yujin would occasionally look back, mostly at you. It would be a quick glance so you usually don't have time to smile or do anything. You would always be too surprised to do anything at all. But this time, you catch her staring, you give her your best smile, she returns it, and flowers bloom everywhere.

Yujin always had that effect on you. She always will — thick glasses or nothing at all.

~

"Just tell her, (Y/N)."

Halfway through your third period, you excused yourself to the restroom to wash your hands. Coincidentally, Seeun was in the same restroom to do the same thing and one minute into making sure the soap covers every inch of your hands, she says that.

"Tell who what exactly, Seeun?"

You weren't really asking for real, but that was your last line of defense.

"Yujin. That you like her."

You scoffed, turning on the faucet and washing the soap off your hands, "I don't know what you're talking about. Yujin's our friend. I don't crush on friends." You stated. You avoid looking up in the mirror because you would definitely see Seeun staring at you. She always does that. Always trying to take everyone apart through her eyes.

"That's true. You don't. So why are you?" Seeun insists. Finally, you look at her, not bothering to dry your hands first.

Yujin isn't your first crush, of course not. There was Yeojin before her, and before Yeojin there was Lucy. Normally, you would tell your crush about your feelings because it would be too much for you to keep to yourself, and only to your friends. No matter what your crush said, whether they rejected you or accepted and returned your feelings, you would turn out fine. Most of the time you would even do something bold to make your feelings known, but there was something about Yujin that made you so terrified of doing anything that may give her a hint of what you feel for her.

It was her reputation, and what people made her out to be after her 'makeover'. All kinds of students took notice of her. Surely that would've changed Yujin's thoughts of everybody in some way, right?

Perhaps even her standards of what kind of person she should date?

"It's not even about whether or not she's into you," Seeun gives you some tissues, and you dried off your hands. You could really look at her this time. Of course, she was smiling. Seeun was genuinely concerned for what you were feeling, but she was really just here for the excitement of setting people up to date. She loved love. "What are you scared of, (Y/N)?" Seeun asked.

Sighing, you threw the soaked tissue paper into the garbage bin. There was no point in denying it now. "I... I don't want Yujin to think that I'm just like those boys." You admitted.

Seeun's smile only widens. She's beautiful, she really is, but you can't help but think that she was plotting something. It's always the pretty girls. "Yujin adores you. Trust me, (Y/N)." You blushed at your friend's words, but you shook your head.

"You don't know that, Ssen." You sighed.

"No, you don't know because you like her so much you can't even look at her to notice the little things she does!" Seeun exclaims, laughing slightly. You were always afraid that you'd show how much she means to you if you were to ever stare at Yujin for too long. You'd never admit that, though. Not to Seeun anyway.

"I don't know what to do. She's... out of my league. I mean, obviously." You said, gesturing to yourself.

Seeun clicks her tongue several times, "Nuh-uh, that's what we're not going to do, (Y/N). You're wonderful. Remember when I crushed on you? Yeah, wild times. Listen to me," Your friend takes your hands in hers. Her eyes shined with mischief. God, you feared for your life. "Ryujin is going to take you, me, Yuna, and Yujin to the outdoor theatre and you'll talk to Yujin, okay?"

Your eyebrows shots up at her words that indicated confessions, and you hated those!

"You'll talk to her and finally spare me and Yuna of the misery of watching you two play push and pull," Seeun wraps an arm around your shoulders and leads you out of the restroom. Your heart feels light once again. "Seriously. These two years have been hard for us."

Seeun thinks I'm wonderful. Yuna thinks I'm pure and kind.

You stared through the windows of your classroom after you parted with Seeun and returned to your classes, your attention drifting away from the lesson and going someplace else.

Your eyes slowly, almost automatically, move from the clear blue skies to one Ahn Yujin, who was sitting a few seats close to the front of the classroom in the middle row. Breathtaking. That's what she was.

What do you think of me, Yujin?

~

A few minutes away from the school, there stood a quaint ice cream parlor that you've grown to love. Yujin was the one who found it first, then Yuna started dragging all of you there every other week, mostly after a long and gruesome day in school. Today was one of those days, apparently.

"Yuna, you're smart. You're just lazy as fuck and refuse to take your studies seriously," Ryujin is Yuna's older sister, and she decided to join you and the girls early. She really was bored. Lia must be so busy with university if she can't even find the time to hang out with Ryujin on a Friday. "If I can graduate high school, then anyone can!"

"But it's really not my fault that Mr. Lee's lessons on logarithms are boring! And why do I even need to study that?!"

"It's part of the curriculum, Yuna."

"No shit it is! What I'm trying to say is that I don't need to learn about any of that since I'm going to be the biggest pop sensation after Britney Spears!" The youngest in the circle argued.

Yujin leans to your side, "Is she really serious about that?" She whispered.

You nodded, "Yes. She's going to be auditioning for that big entertainment company next weekend." You answered. It made you smile, how Yuna continues to dream big.

"Huh," Yujin takes a spoonful of her bubblegum ice cream. You looked at her, taking in her facial features. Her eyes were as clear as daylight. Your heart jumps every time they turn into crescent moons whenever she smiled and laughed. It was the classic Yujin thing to fall for. "Can I have some of that?" Yujin asks, pointing her spoon at your cup.

You barely touched your mocha ice cream, mostly due to the fact that you were more interested in hearing Ryujin talk about her life in med school. "Sure." You scooped up a good portion of your ice cream and urged for Yujin to take her spoon and scoop it off of yours, but to your surprise, she does the one thing you wished you would've done first.

Yujin leans in and eats the ice cream of your spoon instead. She grins at your bewildered reaction, satisfied with what she has done. "Thanks, (Y/N)."

Awkwardly, you let out a chuckle. You had no doubts that your face resembled the color of a beet. As much as you didn't want to make obvious that what Yujin absolutely sent your heart into overdrive, you were horrible at hiding that kind of feeling. So you hid behind your cup, pretending to be interested in the way the ice cream starts to melt. Yujin continues chatting with Ryujin and Yuna. But she was mostly instigating pointless debates just to see the sisters argue and talk over each other.

"I wish Chaeyoung was here to see this." Seeun mumbled from your left. You gently kicked her ankle under the table and glared at her. Seeun only laughs at the look on your face, and the two of you join the other three and their shenanigans.

There were a few things that changed. Yujin sat closer to you, and whenever she laughed, she would lean into your shoulder. She would also occasionally feed you her ice cream and blind you with her signature dimpled grin when you accepted. Mocha and bubblegum were wasn't among the best ice cream combinations out there, but you would never pass out on the opportunity to make Yujin happy.

Your ice cream continues to melt, and by the time Yujin and the others gets their second cup, yours turned into a drink. You decided not to get another one, not wanting to waste any more money. Yujin continues to feed you her ice cream, continues to charm you with her smiles, and continues to make you fall for her.

She can be mean like that sometimes.

"Do you know which movie they're going to be playing in the outdoor theatre tonight?" Seeun asks Yuna. The four of you stood outside the entrance of the ice cream parlor as you waited for Ryujin to pull up at the sidewalk with her truck. She had it parked somewhere else, saying that she didn't feel like having it right in front of the entrance. And she calls Yuna lazy.

Your stomach was full from all the ice cream you consumed. The things I do to make the girl I like happy. You were totally not looking forward to suffering to your choice of not buying food from the several vendors at the theatre's vicinity.

"Heathers. They have a thing for playing classic movies in there," Yuna laughs to herself. "They're basically setting up the perfect coming-of-age date to all the hopeless romantics out there." She says. You couldn't miss the way she quickly glanced at you, and you held back the urge to roll your eyes.

"I love Heathers." You and Yujin say simultaneously. Her enthusiastic grin melts your heart, especially under the pleasant lighting the street lamps offered.

"I didn't know you two were into those movies," Seeun says. She definitely did. "Aren't you just perfect for each other?" She teased. Maybe you were it was all in your imagination, but you saw how Yujin shyly averted her gaze somewhere else. She started chewing on the corner of her lips, a bad habit that always surfaces when she's nervous. Or incredibly flustered.

Yeah, it's the bubblegum ice cream. They put something in there that's making me delusional.

"As much as I'll be happy for the two of you when you date, I don't think I can handle another sickeningly sweet pair around me." Yuna fakes disgust in her face. It almost made you spiral into madness at how she was clearly insinuating that you and Yujin would eventually be together.

More than friends. As a real couple.

Your cheeks burned at the idea. Your friends could use them as heating pads in the winter.

"Alright, my children! Hop in the Ryujinmobile!" The older Shin finally arrives. Yuna wastes no team and runs towards the passenger seat. Seeun groans, realizing she lost the battle before it even started.

Seeun settles on sitting on the left-most side of the backseat, you sat on the middle, and Yujin sat closest towards the right side.

"There's some blankets in there, use it. It'll be freezing by the time the movie starts playing." Ryujin says as she started driving towards the recreation center, where the outdoor theatre was being held.

"Wow, you're well prepared." Seeun places the blankets on her lap.

"Jisu and I used to go to these all the time," Ryujin wears a pleasant smile on her face, probably reminiscing her days in high school where it was so much more easier to hang out with her beloved. "Well, I snuck her out most of the time, but you get the idea."

I do, you turned your head and stared at Yujin, who was busy looking outside the window and getting lost in her own thoughts. I wonder if we'll ever have those kinds of dates too.

You never used to doubt your imaginations of what could happen when it came to dating Yujin. Yes, now you can really admit that you always crushed on her. Way before she started wearing leather pants and crop tops and tight ponytails. Once, you saw yourself and Yujin sneaking out of your homes at midnight. The two of you would run around town, and you would find solace in a place only the two of you would know.

Those fantasies filled you with joy, and hope because it was just so... Yujin.

But then junior year rolls around and she changes the tides. Is she even the same old dorky Ahn Yujin you fell in love with all those years ago?

"(Y/N), look," Yujin takes your hand and points outside the window with her other. You followed her finger, and you saw a poodle at the sidewalk playing with his owner. Yujin giggles and doesn't stop staring at the dog until it was completely out of sight. You held her hand a little tighter, she returns the action. "Isn't it so cute?" She says. Wordlessly, you nodded.

Yujin doesn't say anything else. She intertwines your fingers and lets your hands settle on her lap.

What was I thinking?

You affectionately ran your thumb over the side of her hand.

She'll always be the same old Yujin.

~

"Move over."

"God, why did the two of you have to be so long?!"

"Why did Ryujin's truck had to be the tiniest truck in the world?!"

"Ryu— she's facetiming Lia, she can't hear us. MOVE!"

You, Yujin, Yuna, and Seeun sat at the back of Ryujin's truck. Surprisingly enough, the four of you fit. But it was tight, and all of you have been trying to get comfortable for the past twenty minutes since the movie started but to no avail. Still, even though all of you were yelling over each other and shoving one another, you were still giggling uncontrollably. You've earned a few shushes since you started pushing each other.

"Okay, okay, clearly this isn't working out," Seeun leans back, sighing in defeat. She grins at you and your eye twitched. "Me and Yuna will find a way to make this tiny space comfortable for all of us. (Y/N), Yujin, how about you get us some snacks? I'll pay you back." By setting up a convenient confession moment. You could imagine Seeun's words in your head.

Yujin hops off the truck immediately, finding no reason to stay. She reaches out for you, "Need help?" She asked. You took her hand and she assists you as you jumped over the side.

"Get me two corndogs so I can shove one down Ryujin's throat for not bringing the bigger truck!" Yuna yells as you and Yujin walk away from them.

"That costs extra money for you!"

"I don't care! She deserves it!"

You laugh at Yujin and Yuna's exchange. The taller girl beams at you, then she takes your hand again and started pulling you towards the multiple food stands sprawled throughout the parking lot. Since it was a Friday, it didn't come as a surprise to you that the place would be packed.

By the time you and Yujin got the food Seeun and Yuna requested for, Heather Chandler dies from drinking the hangover drink made by J.D. and Veronica.

"They're selling... bear-shaped cotton candy." You stated, staring at the adorable blue bear cotton candy inside a clear plastic bag. It looked delicious, and cute!

"You want one?" Yujin asked. You wanted to nod your head, but you did the opposite, refusing to make Yujin spend her money for you of all things. However, Yujin didn't even wait for your reply and make a beeline towards the cotton candy stand. Fortunately for her, the line wasn't that long.

"Hi! I'd like to get one bag of the bear ones for my—" Yujin catches herself. The vendor raise an eyebrow, smirking at your flustered reaction. "For h-her. For her." The tall girl points at you.

(My girlfriend. Oh, how Yujin wanted to say it.)

The vendor hands Yujin a bag, but the cotton candy bear was big. It was big enough to be shared by two to three people. You and Yujin send a puzzled look to the vendor, who was wearing an endearing smile.

"This one's on me. I have a soft spot for youngsters that beat around the bush. Takes me back!" The vendor laughs loudly. Yujin takes the bag, her face red and probably burning. You and Yujin walk away from the cotton candy stand, suddenly not finding it in you to make small conversation.

Yuna immediately swipes the two corndogs off of your hands and gives one to her older sister. Seeun smiles at Yujin and mutters words of gratitude as she accepted the bag of popcorn. Yujin got herself a couple of skewers, which got your stomach rumbling. And you had a cup of hot chocolate and a bag of bear-shaped cotton candy. Such a nice combination of food.

Seeun and Yuna miraculously found a way to make the back of the truck comfortable for all of you. You expected loud chatters and food wars, but the girls were surprisingly quiet. It wasn't even because they were focused on the movie, they were just exhausted. Even Ryujin almost looked like she was going to pass out on the backseat of her truck while facetiming her girlfriend. Seeum blinks the fatigue away, and Yuna tries her best to focus on the movie.

Yujin, however, kept her eyes on the big screen. She was unusually silent. She was hugging her knees as she watched the movie. It was funny — how this incredibly loud group of girls can go from yelling over each other during a movie to being dead silent.

I bet Yuna's going to sleep until late in the afternoon.

"Where are you going?" Yujin softly asks when she sees you hopping off the side of the truck very carefully. Seeun and Yuna didn't even bother to spare you a glance. Maybe they were already asleep.

"I feel like talking a little stroll," You tell the tall girl, clutching your sweater a little tighter around yourself as if it would shield you from the wind. "I've seen this movie at least a hundred times in this lifetime, anyway." I can probably recite the entire script in my head.

Yujin looks at Yuna, then Ryujin, then Seeun (who totally did not give her an encouraging nod), and then back at you. "Take me away." She whispers, grinning as she reaches out for you. You chuckled and helped her off the truck.

When Yujin gets both of her feet on the ground, she doesn't let go of your hand. You don't let go of hers.

Despite what you kept telling yourself, that you and Yujin were just going to take a calming stroll around the theatre to wash away your exhaustion, there was a little voice in your head that kept telling you the same phrases over and over again.

This is it.

This is your chance.

Tell her, (Y/N).

~

From where you and Yujin ended up taking a break in, the screen and Ryujin's truck were mere specks in the distance. You could still see the movie, though, and you still couldn't help but watch it despite your claims earlier. You tried to make excuses for yourself; that you were only watching the movie because it really was a great movie. But you knew the real reason why you were doing that.

Right now, you'd do anything to avoid looking at Yujin. You were afraid that your eyes would betray you, and tell Yujin just how much she means to you. Emotions are powerful like that.

You pressed your arms on the empty bike racks, eyes glued to the distant big screen. Yujin puts her hands on the cold steel and stands tall beside you. You could feel her thinking of things to say to you.

It never really used to be this awkward when you two were left alone, but somewhere along the way, something in the air changed. You knew it was because you started developing feelings for Yujin, but you couldn't figure out her reasons.

Did she not like your company? Did she think you were a bore?

No, Yujin isn't like that.

Yujin isn't also the awkward type, so what was going on?

Realizing that you were only giving yourself more questions to answer and dwell over, you forced yourself to stop thinking and start talking. Anything would work. Hell, you could even bring up school, Ryujin and Lia's strong relationship, Yuna's dreams, and even the goddamn bike rack the two of you occupied.

Instead, the only words that left your mouth was the last topic you wanted to bring up.

"I'm surprised you didn't pull a Veronica Sawyer on us," You blurted out. When Yujin doesn't respond, you turn your head to look at her. She had a somewhat dazed look on her face as she stared at you. Has she been watching me this whole time? She blinks, forcing herself back in reality. "Resident dork turns into local hottie, like Veronica, but proceeds on hanging out with the association of geeks instead of the cool girls, not really Veronica." You joked.

(Yujin blushed. She hoped that the darkness offered enough cover to make you unable to see her state.)

"You, Seeun, and Yuna are literally the coolest girls I've ever met. What are you talking about?" Yujin bumps her shoulder onto yours again, effectively making you smile for the first time in the many long minutes you've been alone together.

"You know what I mean, Ahn." You said quietly, almost as a whisper. You stood up straight, and you now only realized how close you and Yujin had really gotten. Still, you didn't let your feelings win over your composure, so you stood your ground. Yujin didn't have to tilt her head down to meet your eyes, but she still had to look down.

Ahn Yujin completely faces you now, and she chews on the corner of her bottom lip. She's... nervous? Around me? "(Y/N)... I really don't know what to tell you here." Yujin says, breaking eye contact.

You averted your gaze to the ground, "Just making conversation." That was a lame excuse.

Yujin snorts, "Where'd you get these conversation starters ideas from? Im Yeojin?"

"Oh, shut up," You punched her arm lightly and stepped back, putting some decent distance between the two of you. Yujin's soft laugh sets your heart rate at ease. "I just... always thought that it was awfully convenient of you change yourself right when we're a year away from graduating." You continued. Was that too much? Did I even need to say that at all? I should have just steered this boat somewhere else.

Yujin pauses. She takes a step forward, you don't move an inch from your spot. There was a part of your heart that breaks when you spotted a flash of disappointment in her clear eyes. "(Y/N), why do you think I did all this?" She gestures to herself.

You didn't need to think about your answer. "Perhaps you were sick of getting pushed around because you read Boku no Hero Academia. Although, it's really not your fault you have generic taste in shounen mangas." You joked.

"What, you're telling me you have better taste? Are you going to recommend me Kimetsu no Yaiba because if we're talking about generic shounen manga plotlines..." Yujin sucks air between her teeth as she shook her head.

You gasp dramatically, "It happens to be one of the best generic shounen series I have ever read, mind you!"

Yujin laughs at you, and silence came after that. You were quick to clear the air after a solid minute, however.

"I didn't mean to say anything that might've offended you, Yujin," You said. The tall girl decides to listen. "I'll always support you in whatever you do, just like I support Yuna and her dream of being Britney 2.0."

"Thank you, (Y/N). I know you mean well. No offense taken," Yujin tells you. Your chest feels a little less tight now. "But seriously, did you think I went through this... makeover because I wanted people to stop picking on me and think that I'm more than just a dork?" She asked, to which you nodded to.

At first, it seemed that Yujin was confident of her next words, but then she hesitates for a brief second. She reconsiders her next actions, and gets in a battle against herself while you stood waiting for her. You could hear your heart beating in your ears.

"(Y/N), please don't hate me," Yujin pleads. You wanted to tell her that you would never ever hate her, but then she gently takes your hands and pulls you close, forcing you to look only at her and nothing else. "I never cared about what people said about me. In fact, I would still be in graphic hoodies and sweatpants if it weren't... for you."

Your mind stops. What?

"I... w-wanted you to look at me— see me. Really see me. (Y/N), I've liked you for so long, and the fact that you would never see me as more than a friend killed me. So I... I did what I thought I would never be able to do," Yujin drops your hands. You were too in over your head to let them drop to your sides, so instead they hang in the air. "I dyed my beautiful natural locks, I ditched my geeky comics and mangas and my pastel backpack plastered with cheap shiny pins, I started wearing crop tops because I also started working out and got some sick abs and I wanted to impress you with them, and... and I don't know. I guess I just wanted you to give me a second glance."

"But the total opposite happened! It was those gross boys a-and those not-very-nice girls that took notice of me! Now I'm just freaking out because maybe I did all of this for nothing!" Yujin starts rambling. Tears even started forming in her eyes, and you could hear her voice crack the longer she talks.

Maybe you should say a few words. You never want to see any of your friends cry, especially not Yujin and especially not over you! But damn, was this something that will take at least a full week to process.

Ahn Yujin likes (Y/N) (L/N). Goddamn.

"Say something." Yujin mumbles. She couldn't even bring herself to look at you.

"Jin-ah," The familiar nickname effectively put a stop to Yujin's uncontrollable pacing. "I'm sorry. I didn't know this was messing you up. I also didn't know... you liked me like that."

Yujin squeezes her eyes shut and a lone tear falls down her cheek. "Just reject me already." She says.

Instead of doing what Yujin requested, you raised your hand and cupped her cheek. Yujin slowly opens her eyes, and you rub your thumb to wipe her tear away. "How am I going to do that, hm? When I like you so much I can't express it with enough words?"

You pull her close, refusing to let her wander off to where you can't reach her. "Yujin, can I... kiss you?" You asked. Yujin doesn't answer. Not with words anyway. She completely deletes the distance between the two of you and crashes your lips together.

The kiss was eager, sloppy, and messy, but you couldn't blame Yujin. This was her first kiss, and she was probably on cloud nine so of course she wouldn't care if she was doing it properly or not. With that in mind, you pull back a little. Yujin refuses to let you move. She locked her arms around your waist tightly, but you weren't planning on going anywhere.

You cupped her other cheek with your free hand and pulled her in again for softer and pleasant kiss. It was slow, gentle, and you could finally get Yujin to calm down. Turns out when her heart isn't going crazy, she can be a good kisser.

You pull away again, just to see how Yujin was feeling. She was out of breath, and delirious from what had just happened. You were too but you had to try your best to take care of Yujin, as much as your heart wanted to leap out of your ribcage. It was just starting to dawn on you that this was really happening.

"One more time, please?"

Grinning, you brushed Yujin's hair away from her face affectionately. "You don't even need to ask, Jin-ah." And so you do what you were asked.

"You like me," Yujin says when you pull away again. You lost track of how long you and Yujin were kissing. Heathers was probably reaching its end, and your friends were probably starting to worry. But you really couldn't care about anything else, or look at anything else, but Yujin right now. The tall girl plays with the hem of your top, then she beams at you. "You really like me?" She asked.

"Of course." You answered.

"Even when I wore those dumb specs?"

You laughed, bumping your nose against hers. Before you caught her lips again, you made sure to get rid of every bit of Yujin's worries, "Especially when you wore those dumb specs."

The bright look on Yujin's face told you that she will always be that endearing dork you fell in love with all those years ago, and you would never trade her for anything else in the world.

[forhereyesonlyyy]

oh my god sjfbfjdkfnsjf i blink for one second and we're halfway through may and i haven't posted in almost three months!!! i can't guarantee a post right now but i can say that i am very excited about some upcoming one-shots and projects that i have in my drafts 👀 as usual soooo sorry for the long wait but i hope that when everything i want to post gets posted, you will all think that it's worth it 😭 SO! i will see you all in my next one-shot! try guessing from which gg she will be based on some things i've talked about in here 🧐 BIG HINT: 4th gen 🐶

[forhereyesonlyyy]

okay kinda embarrassing but I literally screamed when I saw that you posted part two of just like magic 😅 can’t wait to read it tonight!!

aw omg 🥺🥺 thank you for being patient and i hope you enjoy it!! 💖🥰

[forhereyesonlyyy]

(ii) just like magic. // iz*one, kcw. // one-shot.

word count: 8.8k

author's note: oh. my. god. it's finally here!! i am so sorry this took literally forever 😭 it's soooo crazy how it took me SIX WHOLE MONTHS to finally come up with this sequel omfg. anyway, i hope this two-part short was somehow enjoyable despite the awful-ish pacing. please let me know what you thought of it! ✨💝

tags (overall): fluff, slow burn, angst, not-so-secret mutual pining, colleagues(-ish?) to lovers, a whole lot of falling in love from afar.

warnings: none.

previous: (i) just like magic.

Seven days have passed after that whole fiasco with IZ*ONE's Kim Chaewon in the music show bathroom, and slowly but surely, you find yourself getting more and more numb about the event as time goes.

That doesn't mean you didn't cry about it after it happened. No, every system in your body threatened to break down as soon as Chaewon walked away from you. Perhaps you did shut down, because you really can't remember anything else happening that day other than that exact moment.

You cried for two nights straight, and on the third day, you just felt extremely sad, but you had to pick yourself up. Somehow, you got yourself focused on doing your job instead of moping about your unrequited crush. You took this opportunity because you wanted to pursue your passion, not love. That one moment was great while it happened, but the way Chaewon reacted immediately after was something you considered a wake-up call for yourself.

And finally, on the fourth day, you were able to do your tasks accordingly without your mind suddenly drifting off to wherever. For the next two days, you were almost back to that state where all you cared about was making it big in the director's team, otherwise the time when you haven't been introduced to that beautiful girl. Almost.

The day you had been dreading for a whole week straight has finally arrived; it was the day you get to see IZ*ONE again for their final performance at this particular program. The director was taking charge of everything for the whole time IZ*ONE would be on the stage, so you didn't have to worry about suddenly stepping in and taking over like before. That was just one weight off your shoulder, however.

The director, being fond of the group and all, wanted to make this goodbye stage perfect for the girls. The set on the stage was filled with the most intricate designs specifically made for IZ*ONE. It was the fanciest set you have seen so far.

"(Y/N), I have to answer this phone call. Could you take over for a bit? I promise I'll be back before the rehearsal starts." The director runs off before you could even say anything. While he was going over the whole concept for IZ*ONE's stage earlier in a crew meeting, you had been diligently listening and taking very detailed notes. You tried your hardest to not think about a certain Kim Chaewon as you came up with some ideas of your own for the set. (You barely succeeded.)

While the director was outside taking care of his business, you did as you were told. You helped every crew member with some things they might have been troubled with, you made a few tweaks with the set design with the approval of one of the director's close affiliates, and all this work made you forget everything else. You enjoyed it very much.

It's always nice to not feel like you're being hunted down by your own thoughts for once.

~

In a bright, empty waiting room with only the distant sounds of chatters to accompany her, Kim Chaewon sits in a lonely chair, blankly staring at her reflection. Her exhausted, droopy-eyed, and pitiful reflection. She looked like she has been through the wringer, and for once it wasn't because she practiced until three in the morning or because she missed a few meals.

No, Kim Chaewon was in this state all because of one (Y/N) (L/N). You, who has been in her mind for the past week although Chaewon has tried everything to erase you from every bit of her memory. You were supposed to be a measly crush, someone Chaewon should be able to forget just like that. But deep inside her heart, she knew you were something more.

Which is a little ridiculous considering we've known each other for a minute but that's what being 'down bad' does to you, as Yena always said.

For a whole week, Chaewon has been preparing herself to face you again because as much as she wanted to deny it, the two of you will probably be forced to make eye contact or something. Chaewon doesn't know if she can look at anyone; she has been nothing but distant to her members, especially poor Wonyoung who was just so confused about why one of her elder sisters just suddenly decided she was invisible. But Chaewon really, truly did not know how to talk to Wonyoung after she betrayed her.

Chaewon remembered the way Wonyoung looked at you; like you were the best thing that has ever happened to the world. Wonyoung would have the brightest of stars in her eyes whenever she talked to you, and Chaewon didn't want to take that away. Even imagining how Wonyoung will act towards her when she admits her fault makes her want to hide forever, it would be too much.

Gods, this must be the worst thing I've ever done.

"Chaewon-unnie," A small voice fills the empty room, and the girl in question slowly turns her head to the direction of the door. There stood one Jang Wonyoung, nervous and timid. "Rehearsal will be starting in ten minutes. Eunbi-unnie wants all of us out there." The youngest says.

Chaewon could only nod. She stands up, slowly making her way towards the door. She strides past Wonyoung without another word, much to the youngest's dismay. The two of them make their way to the stage silently, the members were already waiting, eager to do their best performance yet.

Chaewon couldn't miss the way Yujin and Minju looked at her with worry. She hoped that she didn't look like she could pass out any second. The last thing she wants right now is for everyone to be on her business. Eunbi pats her on the shoulder and raises her voice to tell the members to get ready to walk onto the stage.

Chaewon tried. She really, really tried, but her eyes just automatically latch onto yours before her mind was even aware that you were there. You maintain eye contact for a brief second before a few staff member crowd you to talk with you, but that was still a second too long for Chaewon. Guilt just washes over her, and suddenly she feels like running away.

She feels a hand gently squeeze her own, and she turns her head to find Yena. "Are you okay?" The older of the two asked.

"You look like you're going to faint, unnie. Are you sick?" Yuri presses the back of her hand against Chaewon's forehead, but all she felt was sweat. Chaewon backs away, shaking her head. She wished Yuri and Yena didn't voice out their obvious concerns. Chaewon loved them, she really did, and she appreciated them for taking care of her, but she didn't want to slow anyone down.

Plus, the reason I'm being like this is so stupid. Eunbi-unnie will be disappointed. Nobody wants that.

Yena pulls Chaewon towards the stage where the other members had already been waiting. Chaewon gets into her position quickly, and tries her hardest to not make it obvious that she was uncomfortable having Wonyoung so close to her. Everybody watched as you mounted the director's 'throne', as some of the crew joked, and leaned into the mic. Chaewon keeps her eyes on one of the cameras, praying for the music to just start.

"Seems like the director's busy... again," You shake your head as you laugh. Gods, Chaewon almost forgot how your voice was such a treat to her ears. Something about the way you spoke always made people feel at ease, Chaewon was one of those people. For a mere second, Chaewon forgets that she was supposed to focus on performing and lets her eyes wander to where you were standing. You had a vibrant glow in your face, it made Chaewon melt. But a stupid little voice in the idol's head was telling her that perhaps... it was only her that was truly bothered by the events of last week. "Since we're kind of running on a time limit today, let's not wait for— oh, you need me?"

You lean away from the mic to tend to a crew member, and the girls temporarily chat amongst themselves. Chaewon stands behind the members, quietly observing everything and constantly reminding herself to not mind your existence. But then she looks at Wonyoung, who was gazing at you with such lovestruck eyes, and the weight of that kiss settles upon Chaewon's shoulders again.

Kim Chaewon vividly remembers every second of that moment. Despite what she told herself, that it was a mistake and that it should have never happened, it was all she could think about for the whole week. Sometimes Chaewon even allowed herself to not mind how horrible the action was just to laugh at how you weren't sure where to put your hands, how you had a cute habit of making some kisses short and sweet, and how you made Chaewon feel so sure when she looked upon your eyes and saw nothing but pure adoration.

Shortly after all the sweet thoughts, Chaewon's mind would drift to how she stole that from Wonyoung, and then she would go back to regretting it and wishing that she had chosen to just wish Wonyoung good luck with her feelings and not look at you when she did.

Eunbi tells the members to go into their respective positions once again, and as she does so, Chaewon's eyes drift onto you again. And there you were indeed, chatting with one of the crew members about a small dilemma, and you looked like you have been in this job for years. None of the quiet, nervous subordinate from last week could be seen. Chaewon didn't even realize that people can change that quick in a matter of seven days.

Kim Chaewon couldn't keep her eyes off of you. She could feel that ticklish sensation behind her ear the longer she stared you. Oh, you were just so pretty.

No. I should stop letting myself think like this. I did something bad, and I must forget her. I must.

All that and yet Chaewon still stared at you.

(Once again, Wonyoung quietly observes and her eyes lit up with enlightenment. Oh.)

How can I even ignore her? She's...

~

...shining.

Kim Chaewon shined the brightest when she was on stage, as if it belonged to her, as if she was always meant to be there. It was one of the things, perhaps one of the biggest things, that made you so drawn into her. The entire group had solid all-rounders that stole the show whenever it was their part, but to you, it always felt like Chaewon was the main star. Or maybe that was just your feelings talking.

Either way, there was nothing in the world that made Kim Chaewon less than perfect to you. She was your idol, and you relished at the feeling of delight that would wash over your senses whenever you saw her on stage where she rightfully belonged. If you could, you would keep IZ*ONE on stage forever and make everybody see how great performers they were, but that was just your inner fanatic talking.

The girls leave the stage one by one after their successful live performance, and finally, you could breathe like normal. You watched as IZ*ONE make their way backstage with big smiles and loud cheers as they were done with work for the day, and you couldn't help but grin along with them. Wonyoung briefly turns around and waves at you, and you wave back before she completely disappears.

It has been a while since you've personally exchanged any words with IZ*ONE's favorite girl. Although things were awkward, to you anyway, a week ago because of your assumptions, Wonyoung was still your friend and like a normal human being, you wanted to spend some time with your friend. If things were different, maybe you would have approached her right there and asked her to hang out with you, but there was something stopping you.

Or rather, someone.

You knew that talking to Wonyoung would mean being around Chaewon, and there was just no way you would be able to hide to anyone that something happened. Other than that, it would be hard to breathe around Chaewon. More than when all you did was stare and gawk at her, back when that wasn't happening yet. You've come so far making sure the only reason you would be looking at her was for 'work purposes', there was no way the universe would force you to break that streak now, right?

Ridiculous. I'll probably do something stupid again, knowing me.

"Let's take five. The next group's going to take a while to get set up." The director steps off his 'throne' and plopped down on a chair beside a trusted crew member. Some of the staff started chatting amongst themselves, some pulled out their phones, and some just did whatever came to their mind. You, however, decided to get some fresh air and left the set. Looking at the blinding lights shooting across the stage puts strain in your eyes, so sometimes you liked to step outside and bask in the warmth of normal, less harmful to the eyes kind of lights.

It had just occurred to you that you didn't have a proper meal for breakfast. It was very unusual for you to not set your alarm for the next day during the night, but when it happens, your brain starts losing stability so quickly it actually shows in your actions. And of course, since you were rushing to ride the earliest bus to the earliest train to get to the studio, you could only have a cup of lukewarm coffee before literally sprinting out of your house and towards the nearest bus stop.

So, you walked towards the direction of the lovely vending machine tucked in a quaint little corner in one of the building's many lounges with a skip in your step, all whilst whistling your own rendition of IZ*ONE's Merry-Go-Round.

Your joyful stride was abruptly interrupted when a loud slam fills the empty atmosphere. "Fucking thing." A cute voice hisses. It was coming from where the vending machines rested. You poked your head out from the corner, and your heart dropped when your eyes landed on the familiar back profile of one Kim Chaewon.

Just the girl I wanted to see. Thanks, fate.

Immediately, you scrapped any idea you had of getting food from that certain vending machine, ignoring your stomach's desperate cries for a nice snack. It doesn't take no longer than three minutes to go to the other lounge, and so with a new plan in mind, you started walking. But it just so happens that the universe did not like you that day, because as soon as you took one step away from where Kim Chaewon was, a cheerful, warm (and obnoxiously loud) voice calls out to you.

"(Y/N)! My girl! I feel like I have not seen you in forever! How'd you like our performance?" Ahn Yujin yells from halfway across the corridor. You were going to pretend that you didn't hear her and walk off, but this was Yujin. She wasn't the kind of person one can just brush off. So, you turned back around and matched the younger girl's wide grin.

"Breathtaking, as usual. I thought you guys are supposed to go home?" You asked. You internally cringed when you heard the vending machine being softly hit repeatedly. Sheesh. She could at least pretend that she isn't hurrying to scurry off to avoid me. But you shook those thoughts out of your head. You respected Chaewon, and her reaction towards you was also something you could learn to understand, but of course it couldn't be helped that you felt a little hurt.

Yujin looked as if she was going to run to engulf you in a bone-crushing hug, but she stops halfway when her eyes land on her fellow group member, then she laughs hysterically. Curious, you forced yourself to take two steps forward and yes, Kim Chaewon was still there. More pissed off than ever, but her features soften for one quick second upon seeing you. Your heart gets caught up in your throat, but you swallow it back down. Goodness, she was so close.

"Unnie, just shake it a little! We'll get flamed by the managers if we do any property damage around here," Yujin gently pulls Chaewon away from the malfunctioning machine and takes matters into her own hands. Awkwardly, you and Chaewon stood side by side. It felt like your lungs were being squeezed so tight it hurt so much, but not enough to completely break. You shoved your hand inside your jacket pocket, not trusting it to be hanging by your side freely because Chaewon was right there, and if you were crazy enough you would have definitely, definitely acted on your feelings. We can't have that happening again, right, Chaewon? "Alright. Here you go, unnie."

Yujin hands the snack to Chaewon, and the older girl accepts it with a small 'thanks' before turning on her heel to leave. "Ah, wait for me, unnie! I'm getting something too." The second youngest of IZ*ONE says as she hurriedly shoved coins inside the machine. You shift your weight to your other leg, praying to the gods to just let this end. All I wanted was a cheap brownie.

The small bag of Doritos successfully falls through the bottom of the machine, but Yujin doesn't get a chance to pull it out as her phone blares loudly. From what you saw, someone was calling, and Yujin excused herself to answer the call, leaving you and Chaewon standing painfully awkwardly in front of the vending machine. This was really not how you wanted this short trip to go.

With a deep breath, you went ahead and pulled out the bag of Doritors from the machine and decided to hold on to it for Yujin (who was just outside the hallway talking to, surprise, Wonyoung from her phone). Your hands were cold, and it didn't help that Chaewon was just staring at you as she waits for the younger girl to come back. Come on, (Y/N). Just put the damn coins inside and get your brownie. You deserve that much after this.

You missed the coin slot, embarrassingly enough, and several coins fell from your shaky hands. You cursed under your breath and bent down to pick up the coins. Your ears had grown red, this was all too much for your weak heart. Right in front of... her, too! Shaking your head, you sped up, but you only ended up dropping more coins. Before you could mutter some nonsense to yourself again, Kim Chaewon herself kneels down and helps you. You have never been more flustered.

Of course despite what you've told yourself not to do, your eyes rake over what you could make out of Chaewon's facial features from where you were sitting. Her soft dark hair was covering most of her face, and you could really only see the barest bits of her cheek, the side of her nose, her right eye, and her lips. God, her lips.

Stop it. You're supposed to burn that moment to ashes, like it never happened. Because it was a mistake, as she said.

You and Chaewon stand up at the same time. Neither of you could look at the other in the eye, you were thankful for that. She stretches out her hand to give you your coins, "Here." Chaewon mumbles. You accepted the coins, and the idol's fingers brushing against your palm made you jolt, much to your chagrin. You were so easy. Too easy, maybe.

After acquiring your well-earned vending machine brownie, you had planned on turning around and walking back to the set where your crew was patiently waiting. Standing here acting like Kim Chaewon wants anything to do with you after all the things she said a week ago was a waste of time. So, why couldn't you take even at least a step forward away from her? There you stood merely a few meters in front of your crush, and there was something in the air.

You had no doubt that Chaewon wanted to leave this space as much as you did, but her eyes told you otherwise. She wanted to say something, wanted you to say something. But what could you say? There were a million phrases that bubbled up in your brain that it was simply impossible to choose. There was even a part of you that wanted to just grab her hands and drop your heart right into her palms.

But no. You must've been imagining things. It was Chaewon herself that said it. It was a mistake. It's time I accept it. For real.

And so, you say the only thing that came to mind at the time. The one thing that wouldn't hurt you as much as it did had the two of you were able to keep your relationship strictly professional.

You flashed Kim Chaewon a genuine, good-natured smile that you hoped was enough to cover every part of yourself that showed just how much you didn't want to go and leave things as they were, "Goodbye, Chaewon."

~

"Unnie, did you get my Doritos?"

Ahn Yujin hops beside Kim Chaewon with her signature dimpled smile that never failed to make even the coldest of hearts melt into a puddle. Something was amiss, however. Because Chaewon was not able to feel the warmth Yujin always radiated. All she was able to think about was you, and how distant you felt right before you left.

It was as if Chaewon was alone and forsaken in a snowstorm with nothing but the brutally freezing weather to keep her company. It was the worst thing she has felt for the longest time, and goodness, the things she would do to keep herself warm. To keep you from getting even more farther away from her. But it was too late.

And to be fair, this is all my fault.

"Unnie, why... why are you crying?"

Chaewon blinks, "Huh?" And it was only then that she realized she had shed tears without feeling it. She quickly wipes her damp cheeks and brushed it off with a dry chuckle. Then she hands the younger girl the small bag of chips, all while avoiding Yujin's observant stare. It was probably already too late to hide. Everybody thinks that since Yujin was so carefree and young, everything would just go over her head, but Chaewon is almost convinced that the kid was a real mind reader.

That's why it was so dangerous for someone like Chaewon, who looks as if she can contain her emotions well but actually cannot to save her life, to be around someone like Yujin.

"Chaewon-unnie, talk to me," The older girl looks away, as if that would help make everything less obvious. Yujin goes quiet and thinks to herself for a good minute, then she looks back and forth between the direction you went off to and back to Chaewon. The older of the two couldn't help but chuckle once again when Yujin visibly perks up at the realization. "Is it (Y/N)?"

Chaewon nods, and she starts laughing weakly as tears started pooling in her eyes again. Oh, how she felt ridiculous. Crying in front of a younger member in the vicinity of a dumb and slightly broken vending machine over a girl she kissed once and barely even knew. Eventually, Chaewon wasn't able to keep herself numb. She breaks down, and she looks upon Yujin's eyes with what the younger girl could consider the most broken a person has ever looked, "I really like her, Yujin-ah."

Yujin knew that no words would be able to comfort Chaewon at the moment, so instead of giving her a lame pep talk, Yujin pulls Chaewon into her arms and embraces her tightly. Yujin allows Chaewon to cry, really cry, even when people were passing by and even when Minju arrives to retrieve them under the manager's orders.

Minju doesn't say anything to Chaewon, which the latter was thankful for. When Chaewon finally collects what little bits of herself she had left, she pulls away from Yujin, muttering a sincere 'thank you' before allowing herself to be gently led to the exit by Minju. Yujin trails behind the older girls quietly, and she stares at Chaewon, wondering what in the world just happened between you and her that made her... like this.

But that would have to be an investigation from another day because when Yujin pulls out her phone to check the time, she almost passes out on the spot out of panic when she sees that Wonyoung had been waiting for her on the other line. Ahn Yujin curses out loud when Jang Wonyoung ends the call without a word because she knew what that meant.

Wonyoung heard everything.

~

Yes, Jang Wonyoung did hear everything, but she didn't need to have someone tell her in the face. There were rare instances wherein Kim Chaewon was like an open book and during those moments, everything she was feeling would show in her eyes, her lips, her hands, and every bit of herself. So it wasn't that Wonyoung had some keen eyes for detail like Ahn Yujin; the big secret was handed to her in a silver spoon, and it wasn't because of that call.

Wonyoung started noticing the little things exactly a week ago. How could she not? Chaewon suddenly starts paying attention to you, someone she couldn't even look at for five seconds before putting her attention somewhere else. It piqued Wonyoung's interests, although deep inside, she felt threatened. She hated that feeling though. She told herself that if Chaewon, or literally anyone else, were to start developing a crush on you, she would be fine because hell, she doesn't own you!

In fact, Wonyoung thought that it would be fun to talk and gush about you with another person. When Wonyoung noticed that Chaewon was slowly falling for you, she couldn't wait to tease her about it in the dorms. She imagined a girls night out with just her and Chaewon, and maybe Yujin and Yena if they were nosy enough, and the two of them would be laying in bed just thinking about you and how effortlessly charming you were.

But when they got home that day, Chaewon power-walked straight into her room and shut everybody out.

The other girls concluded that she was probably just having another 'one of those days', but Wonyoung knew better. Because Chaewon was especially cold to her, and that was the biggest clue she had.

Wonyoung didn't need to hear that call to know everything because she saw that way Chaewon looked at you while you tended to your crew. And the youngest made sure to pay special attention to Chaewon after that performance just in case she sees more, and she was right. When you weren't looking, Chaewon would spare a glance or two your way, then her jaw would clench and she would just look so, so guilty. Then she would raise her head and stare at Wonyoung, her guilt changes into pure regret. And finally, she would look the other way, or completely run off somewhere else.

It was infuriating to Wonyoung, how Chaewon continued to be passive about everything. She was afraid that this would determine their friendship for the rest of their career, their lives, and that was terrifying. As far as Wonyoung was convinced, she had eleven older sisters. Not ten older sisters and one co-worker. It just felt wrong for her and Chaewon to not talk; even some of the members started noticing.

Jang Wonyoung couldn't stand the idea of one of her older sisters cutting her out from the rest of her life, so perhaps it was time for her to become the brave one. To become the one who confronts instead of running and hiding because in the end, maintaining this special bond she has with her members is worth more than whether or not she can get you to look at her the same way she looks at you.

So yes, Jang Wonyoung did hear everything, and she was going to make everything right.

~

"So much for dramatic goodbyes, huh, (Y/N)?"

Dumbfounded, you stared at the familiar set of girls standing beyond the countless cameras pointed at them in your crew's own personal studio. It was another day at work, but this time it wasn't in a music show program. You were told by the director that the crew was going to be working with a very special group to make awesome content for their fans, but what you didn't know was that you would be working with IZ*ONE; the group you thought you would never see again until a few months later.

It has only been five days since you said goodbye, but then you see Jang Wonyoung, Ahn Yujin, and Kim Minju waving enthusiastically at you from the center of the room. You waved back awkwardly before sighing. As surprising as this was, you weren't complaining. Anybody would love to spend more time with their favorite group.

She was there too and as per usual, she stole your attention quickly. All the members were wearing casual clothing as the content they were filming required them to have genuine fun and be themselves rather than act professional and follow a dumb script. Kim Chaewon was gorgeous; you have never seen someone look so good in jeans before.

Focus, (Y/N). Yes, she would look cool in a pants commercial but you're all business today. No time for feelings or memories of the past. Just stop thinking.

"(Y/N)," Thankfully, a voice you've come familiar with forces you to take your eyes off of Chaewon. Standing behind you was a most-cherished crew member, Yui, and she was probably the closest to what you have for a 'work best friend'. "This is very exciting. I only ever see these girls in YouTube! Now they're right here, and oh my God, Nako-chan is even cuter in real life." Yui lightly hits your shoulder as she stares at the adorable Japanese girl from across the studio.

"Something tells me that you like her more than what meets the eye," You teased playfully. When you spot the slightest moment of Yui's eyes lighting up, you grinned victoriously. "Why don't you ask her out?" You joked.

Yui rolls her eyes, "No, not any time soon I'm afraid. They can't have two dating scandals blowing up at once." She says. Her eyes widened when she realized what she had just said and you could visibly see the instant regret in her eyes. You chuckled, waving it off. It wasn't like you were still hung up about it. You'll find a way to come to terms with the fact that that moment will just be another one of those ones that you'll laugh about in the future.

I really do hope that future is soon.

You didn't know much about Yui. In fact, she was a literal stranger to you until the director introduced you to her. That was two days after that mess with Chaewon. She had been on an vacation in her hometown in Japan for a while, that was why you didn't meet her sooner. The night the two of you met, Yui invited you for a few drinks in her favorite pub. A 'few' drinks turned into a dozen, and before you knew it, you were telling her your whole life story, including the reason why you winded up drinking on a school night.

Now here you were, joined by the hip just like that. Yui was a good distraction though. Instead of thinking about how good I would have been with Chaewon for twenty-four hours straight, Yui taught me how to do that for only twenty! I really am thankful.

"As an attempt to clear this painfully awkward atmosphere I have summoned with my careless mouth, would you like to get to work, (Y/N)?" Yui asked, smiling sheepishly. She stretches out her hand to take yours, and you immediately intertwine your fingers and smile at her.

"I'd love that."

~

"Are you trying to melt (Y/N) with your stare, Wonyoung-ah?"

As much as Chaewon tried to shut them out to focus on whatever she should do for one of the individual segments of the show, Yujin and Wonyoung were too much of an attention-catching pair. Chaewon turns her head to look at the youngest, and yes, Wonyoung really was staring with very intense eyes at, of course, you. And another pretty girl who was holding your hand very romantically.

Wait — why do I care if it's romantic? Whatever.

"What does that even mean, unnie?" Wonyoung pouts her lips at the slightly older girl.

"It's a Filipino saying," Yujin replied as if it would make even more sense to Wonyoung. As expected, the tallest kid tilts her head in confusion. "Like, when you stare at someone for a long time, they'd end up melting or something. I don't know." Yujin shrugs. Chaewon couldn't help herself, so she chuckles at the two youngest's antics. While Wonyoung busies herself with pretending that she wasn't feeling threatened by your friend Yui, Yujin throws a concerned look towards Chaewon. The older girl shakes her head, mouthing an 'it's okay' before turning around.

Minju suddenly hugs her, not even giving her a moment to process her next thoughts. "How are you holding up, unnie?" The younger girl asked as she pulls back slightly. This unexpected re-encounter was as surprising for Chaewon as it was for you, and after what happened five days ago, it was natural for Minju and Yujin to be so concerned. Strangely enough, however, Chaewon wasn't feeling that gut-crushing regret that always collects at the pit of her stomach. Not towards you, not towards Wonyoung. Yet.

It was going to be a long day, but Chaewon was thankful that she wasn't going to start it being sad about her situation. Mostly because Yujin and Minju have helped her think about other things, even the smallest things! I should thank them for that later.

"I'm alright so far." She really was! Even when the image of you looking at your friend so tenderly made her feel bothered.

"That's good! Eunbi-unnie said she'll treat everyone to dinner after we've finished all pur schedules. Will you be tagging along?" Minju loops her arm around Chaewon's and they started walking in circles together.

Chaewon grins, "I can never say no to free food." She replied. She decided that 'keeping her distance' was doing more harm than help. Not just to herself, but to you and to her members. It was especially unfair to Wonyoung, who does not— well, did not —even have any idea why Chaewon started ignoring her in the first place. Chaewon learned that she was more afraid of losing her bond with her members than letting you slip away.

That didn't mean that it doesn't hurt to think about you, though. It still does, but only a little less nowadays.

Chaewon wasn't sure if she would ever pursue you again, or if she will just let you go once and for all. That was a battle she thought she'd finish before she saw you again, but the universe had other plans it seems.

"Unnie, you're staring at (Y/N) again."

Chaewon blinks, giggles at herself, and turns to Minju, "Didn't you girls once say that I only see the most beautiful thing in the room?"

The younger girl processes Chaewon's word for a minute, and her expression quickly changes into a sour one, "You're so cheesy!"

"Oh, come on, that was romantic, Min!"

It doesn't take long for the director to gather everyone back on the middle of the set and tell them that recording was about to start. A giggling Chaewon pulls Minju towards the other girls. It felt good to smile. Perhaps she can thank Minju, as well as Yujin, with some gifts later, and Wonyoung an apology. Maybe an explanation as well?

Looking back on it now, Wonyoung has been observing her a lot ever since the day Chaewon cried to Yujin and Minju. Has she figured it out? Does she hate me now? Can I still save us?

As if on cue, the tall youngest turns around and locks eyes with Chaewon. The older girl freezes, and the two of them stare at each other for a good minute. Do something. Smile. Wave. Wink. Something.

Chaewon looks away. Fuck.

(Wonyoung fixes her gaze on one of the cameras, a smile gracing her lips. She allows Yujin to get away with calling her 'creepy'. Yujin doesn't know about her plan.)

Chaewon wonders how long she can keep this up before it explodes on her face.

~

"Oh, that's really funny." You averted your distant gaze to Yui, who was laughing at some antic Chaeyeon and Yena were trying to pull on Yuri while playing a game of musical chairs. So far, over half of the girls were eliminated. Chaewon almost falls out of her chair, laughing when Yuri failed to take a seat and got eliminated. You couldn't suppress a smile of your own, feeling grateful to see hers. And to think that you were planning on locking yourself in the staff room to do your assignments for the whole duration of the filming!

Yena ends up betraying Chaeyeon and steals her chair, now it was only Yujin and, the greatest surprise of all — Minju who were left standing.

"Hey, so, remember how the director asked you and I to stop by the nearby bakery to get some pastries for the crew to eat after filming?" Yui asks. You nodded in reply, eyes locked onto one Kim Chaewon who was focused on cheering on her dear friend Kim Minju.

"I have a date when we get off work so I really don't think going out in the rain is a good idea," Yui starts twirling the ends of her hair. You rolled your eyes, you knew where this conversation was going. "Could you—"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't look at me with your puppy eyes. I'll get the food myself." You said, sparing yourself from your friend's attempt at being cute. Yui does a little cheer and loops her arm around yours, grinning as she continued watching the girls with you.

(A certain Kim Chaewon squints. The camera doesn't catch it, but one Jang Wonyoung surely did.)

~

The girls were granted a break while the staff prepared the set for the next segment of the show. Some of the girls went into the changing rooms to get their makeup fixed, and the rest sat behind the crew chatting and laughing amongst themselves. Chaewon stands behind the chair Yuri was sitting on, giggling uncontrollably as the younger kept going on and on about how unfair it was for Yena and Chaeyeon to gang up on her during the musical chairs game.

Eventually, Chaewon found herself tearing her gaze away from her members. She scans the room, and once she doesn't find a certain (Y/N), her heart drops a little. She did a good job of not letting it show, however, and just continued chatting with the members as if nothing happened.

"(Y/N)'s friend has been staring at Nako-unnie for quite some time now." Wonyoung whispers. Chaewon's eyes shoot up, and the youngest was correct. Chaewon sees your friend, Yui, almost get a whiplash turning her head in an attempt to not get caught.

"She's kinda cute. I don't mind." Nako shrugs. The members coo and tease her about getting a crush to which Nako quickly denies with sputtered words and a reddened face. Chaewon was convinced that her group consisted of only the worst liars in the universe.

Suddenly, Chaewon feels someone fixing her bangs, which have become unruly after all the running and jumping she did throughout all the games they played. Chaewon's eyes flies over to one Jang Wonyoung. The youngest was cautious, perhaps a little too cautious. (She was shaking to the bone. Commencing with her plan was scarier than she initially thought. Wonyoung hopes that Chaewon won't push her away like she has been for the past few days.)

"Thanks, Wonyoung-ah." Chaewon muttered, shying away from the younger girl's touch. Wonyoung gives her an endearing smile and Chaewon doesn't know just how much longer she can let the guilt eat her up like this.

Chaewon can't do it. She can't hurt Wonyoung more than she already has. Chaewon moves further away, but Wonyoung doesn't let her.

The tall girl grabs onto Chaewon's arm, tight without any intentions of letting go, "Let's talk, unnie. Please." The youngest pleaded.

Chaewon shakes her arm, Wonyoung doesn't budge. "Wonyoung..."

"I know why you're being like this. I'll make it quick. Just listen to me," Wonyoung gently tugs Chaewon away into a quiet corner. The members don't even notice they've gone to some other place. Not even Minju, who made it a habit to look after Chaewon. Chaewon sighs, and Wonyoung's words clicked into her brain. She knows? "Unnie... all you had to do was tell me." Wonyoung starts. She wears a confident smile on her face but Chaewon, on the other hand, was horrified.

"I wasn't going to get mad, or start to hate you or avoid you for the rest of my life or anything stupid like that," Wonyoung crosses her arms, pouting. Chaewon grits her teeth, she had no idea where Wonyoung was taking this conversation. "Just to be clear... it's (Y/N), right? You like (Y/N)?"

Chaewon sighs deeply, "I'm not supposed to. You like her. It's not my place."

Wonyoung shakes her head, "What kind of logic is that, unnie?" She sounded irritated. "I know what you're thinking. You didn't want to tell me anything because I like (Y/N), and that was the ultimate betrayal. But... we're family here. I'd understand if you came to me."

Chaewon turns away from the youngest. This kid was making points. Now she just felt stupid for going through all those lengths to avoid this simple conversation. Chaewon could've spared herself all the pain and all the tears if she'd just... talk to Wonyoung, and maybe you too.

"I'm more hurt that you chose to not talk to me and avoid me than the fact that we like the same girl," Wonyoung scratches her head, then grins. "I'm not even mad about you crushing on (Y/N), unnie. I think you guys are a good match! You need someone to light up your pretty face, and (Y/N) can do that to just about anyone. She's... awesome like that." Chaewon notices the look of longing and admiration on Wonyoung's distant eyes.

Wonyoung brightens up just like that and she takes the older girl's hands with hers, "I'm totally okay with you and (Y/N), unnie." She said.

Chaewon squeezes the younger girl's hands. From the sincere look in her eyes, Wonyoung truly means what she said. She would never sugarcoat anything to her older sisters, anyway. Not when it came to this. Chaewon feels her chest get a little lighter, but there was still something tangled up there that was making it hard for her to be truly herself again.

Regret, but not the same regret she felt when she kissed you and convinced herself that she'd betrayed Wonyoung. No, it was a different kind of regret. One that needs to be fixed or else Chaewon's conscience will never let her live it down.

"If you're going to say sorry, don't," Wonyoung says. Chaewon is thoroughly surprised. She wouldn't doubt the younger girl's if she came out as a mind reader. She hangs out with Yujin too much. "I think she's more deserving of your apology." Wonyoung turns her head and sets her eyes on you, who has just arrived with bags of boxed pastries in your hands.

Chaewon stares at you from afar, and all of her systems were screaming at her to run to you and tell you everything. But God, you were making it so hard with the goodbye you'd given her all those days ago. Chaewon heard it in your tone that you wanted nothing to do with her anymore, and Chaewon chose to respect that because of the bullshit she pulled after your kiss.

But what if... I'm not too late?

"Ah! I forgot the other bag and my wallet in the store!" You screamed particularly loudly while you were arranging the boxed pastries in a wide table. You ran towards the exit in a hurry.

"Huh. How convenient," Wonyoung mutters. (She glances to the side at Chaewon, and she smiles at the conflicted look on the older girl's face. God, she's so infatuated... and confused. Maybe I should help her.) She nudges Chaewon on the arm with a smirk. "Go, unnie."

Chaewon points at herself, "M-Me? Go? To (Y/N)?" She asked. Wonyoung doesn't answer her and instead pushes her towards the same exit while giggling. Not one person pays them any mind.

Wonyoung hands Chaewon an umbrella, "It's pouring outside. Give this to (Y/N) and... tell her. Everything."

Before Chaewon follows after you, she pulls Wonyoung in a tight hug. One that lasts for a minute or two before she finally lets go. (Wonyoung was so proud of herself for fixing things, she might start crying right there.) "Wish me luck, then."

"You don't need luck, unnie! Just your heart."

~

You had a knack for being forgetful during moments where it mattered the most. Hence why you were seriously considering running out in the rain to get a bag of pastries and your wallet back to the studio. Did you like the feeling of wet socks? Hell no! But your life was practically in your wallet, and pastries were better served warm!

Bouncing on your feet, you prepared to run outside in the rain. While muttering words of encouragement to yourself, you failed to hear the soft footsteps that were getting closer. You leaned against the door to push it open, but a small voice stops you from stepping outside the wet concrete.

"(Y/N)," Kim Chaewon stands before you with an umbrella in her arms. She wasn't avoiding your eyes this time. "I think you need this."

Slowly, you accept the umbrella. You were confused. Did she come all the way from the set just to give you an umbrella? Did Yui send her? That had more a possibility of happening than Chaewon deciding to approach you by her own volition. Or at least that's what you believed.

"Thank you, Chaewon." You said. Should you say something more? No, I've already said enough all those days ago. You turn around again, ready to face the storm outside, but the idol holds onto your arm, freezing you on the spot.

"Wait, (Y/N). I need to... say some things."

"Oh, Chaewon. You don't have to." You quickly replied. You failed to guess what Chaewon would want to tell you after all you've been through. Her attitude towards you all those weeks ago told you that she didn't want anything to do with you anymore, so what changed?

Why was Chaewon making it hard again?

"Yes, I do. I hurt you, (Y/N), and it was wrong for me to not say anything about it and just let you suffer alone and in silence," Chaewon tugs onto your sleeve, pulling you away from the door and closer to her. You avoid her gaze. "I'm sorry."

You gently pry your arm off her grip and sighed, "If you knew I messed up when I kissed you, then why did you kiss me back? You're so... confusing. After that, you said it was a mistake and then you run away and ignore me for weeks. Now you're here, trying to make up for it all just when I've decided that I was done trying with you. What are you doing, Chaewon?" You asked, desperate for answers for the questions that have been stuck in your head since that kiss.

Any bit of courage Chaewon had earlier had nearly all disappeared. Now she looks small and insecure, and so far away. Chaewon keeps her eyes on yours, however, and you could see it all again; what she feels.

"Okay... I was scared of everything. I didn't want either of us to lose Wonyoung, and... I was scared for you. When you kissed me, I wanted nothing more but to take that risk with you... but knowing everything, I just— I couldn't do that to you," Chaewon shakes her head. "And Wonyoung, she adores you. You mean the world to her, as she does to me. I know she's important to you too, and it broke my heart to think that I would lose her."

"I still did everything wrong. I hurt Wonyoung, my members, and I hurt you the most. I'm really... so, so sorry, (Y/N). You didn't deserve to get walked out on like that." Chaewon looked as if she would cry if she were to continue talking, you felt the same. You would laugh about it, if didn't want to take Chaewon into your arms at the moment.

In one swift motion, you dropped the umbrella and reached out to her. You pulled Chaewon towards you and caught her lips with yours in a searing kiss. Your chest grows warm as it did when you first kissed her, and it was as if a million flowers bloomed inside you.

(There was something about the way you held her and kissed her that just made Chaewon want to lay her whole heart out just for you. You were so gentle with her, so careful. You always made sure that you weren't holding her too tightly, or that you were biting her by mistake. Chaewon feels like she was going to fall for you all over again, all because of your pure, golden heart.

The longer you kissed her, the more Chaewon feels those sparks in the air. She felt it too when you first kissed her in that bathroom. Chaewon couldn't quite explain what those sparks meant. All she knows if that you were the first person to ever make her feel like that, and she knows you're going to be the only person to ever do that to her.

It was warm, bright, and most of all, beautiful beyond normal circumstances.

Like magic.

Yeah, something like that.)

"Are you still scared?" You asked the moment you pulled away. Chaewon shakes her head. She cups your face with both hands, and wipes your tears with her thumbs. You didn't even realize you'd been crying throughout all of that.

"No, not anymore. Not as long as you're here." Chaewon smiles at you, and you have never seen a girl as beautiful as her. She kisses you again and you let her, content with just holding her.

However, you break the kiss briefly, "Chaewon, I'm sorry too. I never wanted to put you through that. I was impulsive. You were there and I liked you so much and I just felt like I had to do it before you slipped away again." You apologized.

The idol shakes her head, intertwining your fingers together. "All my life, I've been second-guessing everything. It turns out that the more I dwell on one thing, the more likely I'll mess that thing up. All I needed to do was... just take a chance. So I did with you, back then and now," Chaewon kisses your interlocked hands and looked up at you. You've never seen eyes shine so bright and radiate real light before. "I know you're worth it."

Never in your life did you imagine that a mere crush would spiral into something more. Something special, something unforgettable.

Kim Chaewon was a rising star, destined for nothing but greatness and fortune for the rest of her life. You were practically built to just watch her, adore her, and be in awe of how amazing she is on the stage. The moment Chaewon finally took notice of you was like magic; it was everything you asked for and yet you couldn't explain why it was happening to you.

But magic worked in mysterious ways. And from personal experience you can now say that one of its functions is to bring two people from completely different worlds together and make a love that's not perfect, but real.

[forhereyesonlyyy]

the second part of just like magic is finished i swear to you all 😭😭 now i just need to find time to proofread it real quick and post it :D

[forhereyesonlyyy]

in your head. // weki meki, kdy. // one-shot.

in which you were forced to face your deepest fears the one time you were finally able to fall asleep after an exhausting day. fortunately enough, doyeon was right there to help you through it.

word count: 3.6k

author's note: happy new year! let's kick the year off with a doyeon fluff! wishing all of us a good start for this year~ let's also manifest an early weme comeback because we all need to see more of them hehe. i hope you all enjoy this!

tags: hurt/comfort, wlw, idol!reader, weki meki 9th member!reader, (mutual-ish?) pining, fluff, friends to something more, nightmares, token tom & jerry members except this one time, anybody else just think and freak out in the middle of the night, and they were roommates!

warnings: none.

"Please get along this one night," Suyeon makes sure to tell you and Doyeon just before the two of you could make it inside your shared bedroom. "I forbid you, both of you, from waking me up in the middle of the night just because one of you decides to be an ass and steal a pillow from the other." And with that, your tired leader drags her feet towards her room, and shuts the door loudly. She makes sure you and Doyeon hear the sound of the doorknob locking.

"Hmph. I didn't like how she was looking at me the whole time she said that. You're the pillow hogger." Doyeon nudges your arm as she steps inside the room. Too exhausted to start another arguement for the umpteenth time today, you walked straight towards your closet and started taking out some change of clothes.

Doyeon does the same, and immediately runs in the bathroom. "Dibs!" She yelled before shutting the door close. You really didn't have the energy to fight over who gets to shower first, so you accept defeat and sat on the floor, patiently waiting for your roommate to finish up.

You pressed your back against your bed stand, and rested your head on the side of your bed. You try your best to fight off your fatigue. There was nothing worse than going to sleep without washing up first.

After years of debuting, you thought that you would get used to all the late night practices, rigorous dance lessons, anxiety-inducing vocal lessons, and the pressure from the general public, but you were so horribly wrong. In fact, the longer time passes, the harder everything becomes. Sometimes it would all become too much and you just wanted to run away from it all, but this was your dream. And it was your members' dream too.

And as much as you would willingly trade Doyeon to Satan himself for a pair of Dollar Store sunglasses, you would also do everything to keep her dreams alive. Those were the things that kept you going. But sometimes, of course the pressure would just be too great of a burden to shoulder, and all you would want to do was lay down and be a normal person for a few hours.

Only a few hours, then you would go back to eager stares, rumors, back-handed compliments, blatant hate, and everyone and their mothers looking into your business. Some dream this is.

You blinked. No. This was a far greater dream than that.

You loved being on stage. Having everyone's eyes and attention on you was one of the best feelings ever. Of course, you would get a little nervous every time you get on for the first time in the day but once you open your mouth and sing, nobody can say that you were the timid airhead member. Perhaps there were people that had a thing or two to say about your personality or how you approach and perceive the world around you, but they couldn't deny that you had incredible talent. And they've only seen so little of what you can do.

Things like this get you excited about your group's future. You knew that you all could do amazing things together, just give it time. We will all get there.

It didn't take long before you started dozing off. The sound of the water running was somehow able to clear your mind, and soon enough you were completely passed out.

~

"Hey, dum-dum, it's your turn on the show--"

Doyeon feels like she almost stepped on some eggshells when she saw you sitting on the floor in deep slumber. She closes her mouth, opting to shut up and let you rest peacefully this one time. Normally, Doyeon would have sat on her bed, dry her hair, and laugh quietly to herself while watching you sleep while sitting up, but that would have been months ago, when Doyeon had a... much more different perspective on you.

The tall girl bit her bottom lip, her eyes darting back and forth between your figure and her own bed. She was exhausted and she wanted nothing more than to lie down, but instead she approaches you and crouches down. She'll kill me if she wakes up while I'm doing this.

It takes a solid minute, but Doyeon takes you into her arms. She was surprised at how light you were despite your height, which almost matched hers. Doyeon carefully puts you down your bed and she really should have just left you there all alone, but she stays still. She stares at your face, fascinated by your features and how regal you looked asleep. She could only wish that she looked that beautiful while sleeping.

Doyeon's heart rate picks up when she realizes what she was doing, and she quickly stands up, clearing her throat. "See you in the morning when you inevitably yell at me for letting you sleep with your makeup on, Aurora." She says before sitting back down on her bed.

She avoids looking at you for quite some time as she always does from time to time. It became quite a shame, because as much as of an annoyance she was to you all the time, you were quite a sight to behold. Doyeon tried to convince herself that being a brat towards you was just for fanservice, but eventually, that turned into something else. Doyeon relished in the feeling of having all of your attention on her. She loved the look on your face whenever she'd bothered you, it only made her want to tease you more.

But then you'd calm down and do your best to not pay attention to the pain in the ass that is Kim Doyeon, and you'd look away from her. Back then, Doyeon would just be all smug, thinking that she won your daily 'bout' but eventually she found herself to be completely staring at you while you do something else. Doyeon was all too focused on bringing out the less pretty parts of you that she never noticed how well you took care of the members, even Doyeon herself, in your own way.

And how could Doyeon forget the many times she fell asleep on her bed after getting off work and finding her blanket magically wrapped around her? It was you who had always been watching out for her. That was probably how you knew the things that would piss her off when you become the aggressor sometimes.

Thinking about it all, Doyeon sighs heavily. She puts her towel down and once again walks over to your side. She scratched the back of her neck, a blush creeping up on her cheeks before she reaches out to you. Doyeon's hand stops halfway, however, when she saw the look on your face.

Not very long ago, it seemed like you were the happiest napper ever, but now you just looked like you were having the worst time of your life. Doyeon panics. What the hell is she supposed to do?

~

Someday, all of this will end. All of them are going to move on from it, and I'm going to be stuck begging for the hands of time to be turned back to live my dream for one second more.

Will any of them stay? Haerim-unnie? Hyojung? Soeun?

Doyeon? Will she leave too?

You find yourself in your own version of paradise, a place you've built in your head. It was where most of your happiest, weirdest, and scariest dreams alike took place. You imagined your paradise to be a whole world, but there was really only one place that you were mostly in whenever you dreamed.

It was near the edge of a cliff. There was a big table with nine seats surrounding it, obviously it was meant for you and your members. In front of you all was a view like no other; a whole darn waterfall, which was always shining no matter if it was night or day.

Usually, the seats would be mostly or completely filled with your members, either chatting or bickering or bonding, while you watched them adoringly. But today, the seats were empty because your members had gone up and left. You were watching them leave from your seat, right at the center, and you couldn't move.

Doyeon was the last to stand up. You couldn't tell if she was leaving or staying. You couldn't see the look on her face because her back was facing yours. You watched her figure closely, heart beating loudly against your chest.

Will you leave me too?

As if she heard your thoughts, Doyeon turns her head over her shoulder, looking at you with a pitiful look on her face. You couldn't tell if she was apologizing for what she was about to do, or if she genuinely felt bad for your state. She says something, but you don't hear it over the sound of the waterfall.

Kim Doyeon starts following after your members, and just then, you hurriedly stood up from your seat, nearly pushing it over the cliff from the force. You chased after Doyeon desperately. Somehow, you were fine with the other members going about their life, but the thought of Doyeon of all people leaving you alone... just thinking about it was torturing you.

You stretched out your hand, and just when it looked like you were about to reach her, she just moves so much farther away. You tried to run faster as much as your body screamed for you to stop, but you couldn't go any further than where you were.

I'm stuck.

Eventually, your paradise was gone, and there was only an endless field of nothingness. You screamed each of your members' names, but you only heard it being yelled back at you. The air was still, there were no clouds in the sky— no birds either.

You were alone, and none of them were going to come back. Not Haerim, not Soeun, and not Doyeon.

Doyeon...

~

You wake up with a deep gasp, startling one Kim Doyeon who had been walking back and forth on the side of your bed for minutes too long.

"What the fuck! I thought you were getting possessed by our sleep paralysis demon! I was about to call an exorcist— goddamn!" Doyeon runs a shaky hand through her partly dried hair. She rambles in a panicked tone some more, but immediately quiets down when you poke her stomach three times.

Her eyes widened when you clutched onto the hem of her shirt and pulled her close while tears formed in your eyes. You looked up at her, and she really was there.

It was a dream. Of fucking course it was, but...

There was a part of you that didn't want to believe that dreams were inklings of what could happen in the future just this one time. But it was all so realistic. It was terrifying.

"Hey, hey," Doyeon's voice wavers when you start crying. You bowed your head down, refusing to let her see your pitiful face. Doyeon starts caressing locks of your hair while you hugged her waist tightly. She takes your hand with her free one, intertwining your fingers. "It's okay, (Y/N). It was just a nightmare."

You calm down soon enough, but you kept your head buried in Doyeon's tummy. You were too embarrassed to let go and act like nothing happened. Somehow, Doyeon doesn't seem to mind.

"Hold on, I'll get you some water, 'kay?" Doyeon gently pulls away and leaves the room. The cold immediately settles on your skin, opting you to wrap your blanket around your shoulders. You hugged your knees and waited patiently.

As expected, dread suddenly starts to fill your head the longer Doyeon was gone.

What if she was put off by the way you were acting? What if she thinks you were weird? What if she doesn't come back because you've scared her off?

What if Doyeon really leaves?

You shut your eyes tight. It was getting ridiculous at this point. It was like your own mind wanted to torture you until you were a mess in the head. Still, you couldn't push away any of the thoughts with positive ones because they all seemed plausible.

Thankfully, your doubts were soon erased when you hear Doyeon's voice from outside. She was bickering with Yoojung.

"You telling her yet?"

"Go to sleep before I pour all of this water on top of your head, squirt."

"Yeah, yeah. You're gonna thank me for encouraging you when you finally kis--"

"Go!"

Doyeon enters the room a few moments later, closing the door with a defeated sigh. You could still hear Yoojung snickering outside.

"What was that about?" You asked, eyeing Doyeon with curiosity. The tall girl stands still by the door, her eyes darting everywhere, before she approaches you with a glass of water in hand.

"Nothing! Just... Yoojung being an ass." Doyeon places the glass on your bed stand, then she sits beside you. You decide not to dwell on it any longer.

You and Doyeon were silent. You knew what she was waiting for; for you to elaborate whatever the hell happened inside your head. What you didn't know is if whether or not she truly wanted to hear it all. Looking at Doyeon now, she wasn't wearing her usual sneer and playful-mocking eyes. Maybe she really did want to know, but how were you supposed to explain it all?

You were never the most open to your members about your inner thoughts after all. In fact, it was all of them that come to you whenever they struggle with something that is too much for them to handle. You were a great listener, and an even better problem solver. You weren't used to being the one who needs the help.

But perhaps that was a problem. Maybe this was the source of your dreams. It was that lack of personal connection with your groupmates from your end. They've reached out for you, showed you their true colors, but they haven't even seen a speck of yours.

"Do you want me to get the water running for you? It takes a minute or two to start warming up." Doyeon says carefully. (Almost stepping on eggshells, once again.) You don't look at her, still deep in thought. (Doyeon bites her nails nervously. She cursed you for not being more of an open book.)

"I'll... get it started then." Doyeon stands up. Within two steps, she reaches the bathroom door. She wraps her hand around the doorknob, and she turns it. You clenched your fists. Now or never, literally.

"You were leaving," You muttered. You were afraid that you were a little too quiet, but Doyeon heard you loud and clear. She turns around, silently encouraging you to continue with concerned eyes. "All of you. Even... God, even Haerim-unnie."

(A part of Doyeon's heart breaks at the sight of the upset look on your face. She knew just how much you adored Haerim among all of the members. I can't imagine seeing the person you basically see as your older sister leave you just like that. Oh, how much Doyeon wanted to take you into her arms and shield you from it all.)

"You were the last. I thought you'd want to stay. It looked like you were going to... but you just left like the others did," Your voice started shaking at the memory. "I tried to run after you all but I was just... not moving. And none of you were coming back. Then I was just alone, and I—" You shake your head, not wanting to think about that nightmare anymore.

"I'm so afraid that it means what I think it means," You looked at Doyeon. You couldn't read her expression, not very well at least. "Are you... are you going to leave me?" You felt ridiculous saying your greatest fear out loud, but it was progress. Doesn't make it any less dehumanizing, though.

To your surprise, Doyeon drops to both of her knees to the ground in front of you. She smiles up at you, genuinely, and takes both of your hands in hers. You've never been this close to her, only during songs where the choreography forces the two of you to be close. You never realized how big and pure her eyes really were. This is the same girl that pisses me off every second of the day?

"I'm really sad that you think we could just leave you all alone like that. I mean, have a little more faith," Doyeon laughs. You couldn't help but laugh yourself. "We all love you, (Y/N). Just because a nightmare told you otherwise doesn't mean it could be true. And don't say anything about how dreams are foreshadowing or whatever because I'll say this over and over again if I have to; I love you, and stop being so superstitious!" Doyeon lightly slaps your shoulder. Her laughing fit stops when she'd realized what she just said, then her whole face warms up.

You pull away from her hands, staring at her intently. (Doyeon's heart drops to her stomach. Fuck. This isn't how she was supposed to tell you.) Doyeon starts panicking again, "I-I didn't mean that I love you like that. Like, I do really love you as a friend, a member, and everything in-between b-but not like that! Not saying that I wouldn't grow to love you like that, but— you know what I mean, right? (Y/N)?"

Smiling, you cupped her cheeks tenderly and leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead.

(Doyeon feels as if time completely stopped. Her heart blooms, and every nerve in her body just screamed at her to seize this chance.)

"I understand. And I love you too, as a friend, a member, and everything else in-between." You said, repeating her rambling. Although you weren't quite sure if friends held each other this way for this long.

Doyeon reaches up to hold your hands, but she doesn't remove them from her face. She runs her thumb over your knuckles, sending your heart into overdrive. Doyeon boosts herself up and catches your lips with hers, making your hands rest on top of her shoulders. Though this was completely unexpected to you, you accepted her affection, and didn't dare to pull away.

Someone you didn't expect to feel this way for you was indeed Doyeon, but maybe you should've seen it coming. You've seen all the hints but failed to put it all together. It now makes sense why she has been going easy on you with her teasing lately, how she has been lingering closer to your side, and how you would sometimes catch her staring at you with entranced eyes. You smiled into the sweet kiss, you didn't know Doyeon could be so cute when she crushes on someone.

"What's so funny?" Doyeon asks when you part shortly, catching your breaths.

You tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, and adore her for a few seconds. Doyeon really is beautiful.

"You." You replied. Doyeon raises an eyebrow, but you shake your head. You cup her cheek and swoon at the way she closes her eyes and leans into your touch. God, she could have your whole heart right there. You slowly swipe your thumb over her lips.

"You know that was my first kiss?" Upon hearing the fun fact, Doyeon's eyes snap open.

"You're joking," You shake your head again. Doyeon's eyes only widen in bewilderment. "No way! But you've always been so cute!" The tall girl exclaimed.

You grinned, "Thank you. But I guess I just wasn't... kissing material for everyone."

Doyeon softly smiles, "Well, I'm honored to be your first kiss." She giggles and places a quick peck on your lips. "And second."

You lean in and kiss her properly. (Doyeon was pleasantly amused, and suspicious. Because how could you be so good at kissing already?!) When you pull away, you could feel Doyeon's adoration for you through her eyes and your chest warms up. "Third." You whispered.

(And hopefully your last.)

~

"Don't go anywhere, okay?" You say as you approach the door to the bathroom. Doyeon was now sitting on your bed, half tucked in while holding one of your books on her lap.

"I won't," Doyeon smiles endearingly at you. "I promise."

And you believe her.

When you come out of the bathroom after the excrutiatingly long time it took for you to dry your hair, Doyeon was still on your bed, waiting patiently and surprisingly invested in the book she was reading. She closes it once you join her on the bed, and almost automatically, she leans closer to you.

"Ready to sleep?" She asked. You nodded, and she turns off the lights.

Doyeon threads her fingers through your hair again, and you can't think of anything else that brings you a sense of comfort and safety. Immediately, your eyes start getting heavy and even more when Doyeon completely wraps her arms around your figure.

Doyeon kisses your forehead, and you fall into a comfortable sleep.

~

You were in your paradise for the second time that night. This time, the events were so much more different.

You were approaching the cliff where all of your members were gathered. You watched them as they chatted amongst themselves. You wanted to join them, but you hesitated.

Do they even want me there?

As moved to step away, one Kim Doyeon stands beside you and takes your hand. "Let's not keep them waiting."

Doyeon leads you towards the big table, and the way she held your hand tightly assured you that she, as well as your members, will never leave.