forsythiias-blog

[forsythiias-blog]

eleonora sava + outfits

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[forsythiias-blog]

* closed starter for / @nutfm !!

 “oh, jesus, nance-” all it had taken was a skim of the survey pressed into her hands for her to take the lords name in vain, and for her cheeks to REDDEN of their own accord. it wasn’t the first time she’d had such a reaction to something nancy had come up with - and she doubted, somehow, that it would be the LAST. “i didn’t think it’d be possible, but... this is even worse than the last one. what do you need THIS one for, again?” 

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"what a trip its been. we’ve seen a lot of stuff. seen spiders, we’ve seen… ghouls.” / closed starter for @wuzthere !!

“you hesitated,” pointing out the obvious was kinda her stick at this point - and she did it well, if she so said herself. she respected their right to be a disbeliever ( well actually, she didn’t, but she liked to THINK she did because it made her think of herself as a slightly better person than she was ), but she also couldn’t help the true believer in her from taking over at key moments such as these. pulling her cell from her jacket pocket for what felt like the hundredth time already, jellybean easily kept step with them, though her focus was not on the pavement they were walking down but the gallery of photos she had snapped at the thornhill ruins - eyes scanning each of the ones she flicked through until she found THE ONE, holding it out to them ( for again, about the hundredth time ). “are you telling me that’s NOT a ghost? really? you’re gonna stand here-” they were walking, actually, but she felt her point stood, “and you’re gonna deny that this is a blossom ghoul, caught on camera?” jellybean knew better than anyone that it could, in fact, have been a variety of differnet things - among them dust and camera flares. there was only one reason for her sticking by her guns as much as she was, and that was because she was with jughead ; and being extra difficult with them was part of the younger sister deal. “thornhill is in ruins and it’s STILL the creepiest place in town. with their weird ass penchant for burying their dead in their back garden and the strong likelihood that blossoms of the past enticed little kids into their house with maple sauce only to BRUTALLY murder them on the table - it really shouldn’t be that hard for you to believe.” 

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* closed starter for / @flickedbeans !!

“do you want money?” most people, she supposed, didn’t ask the street musicians they passed by if they WANTED a donation - but jellybean wasn’t most people, and she just couldn’t be SURE. far be it for her to pass up a chance at helping a poor soul in need ( she’d been there plenty a time ), but now she was closer to him, she couldn’t see an empty cup of an overturned hat filled with whatever coins others might have spared for him - and she didn’t want to just throw some change at a stranger in the street if he WASN’T out begging. wouldn’t that have been more offensive than asking? “sorry, i mean - are you busking? i couldn’t be sure, and i’ll happily give you a couple bucks if you want, but i - i figured i should make sure that’s, like.. your point for being here.” 

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“either way, leaving your house in this day and age without your phone, without your credit cards, that’s already a death sentence. you can’t do that." / closed starter for @stcrrlights !!

“what if i don’t have credit cards to leave without?” it was, she thought, a very fair question - maybe starr didn’t realize, but she’d left a very OBVIOUS grey area just waiting to be poked at, something which jellybean did incredibly well. “i mean - if that’s the case, my death warrant has been signed EVERY TIME i step out the door ( ‘cos i don’t own a credit card, and i mostly leave my phone on charge )... and i’m still here. i’ve never had a life threatening or mildly annoying situation arise that i attribute to either of those things - and i can’t think of anyone who HAS. i just...- i think you’re being a little dramatic.” 

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cassianwxxd‌:

“I’m a man of high morals I would never threaten a man if I hadn’t threatened a lady first,” he says with a smirk. “You’d be surprised how many teenage girls try to steal from me. I use a softer approach to them. Usually, me shutting the door and locking it is enough for them to realize they better cough up the loot and scram.” he shrugs leaning against the counter as she moves to the back o the store.”I do know your brother.” he says with a nod, a bit amused that she didn’t know what he looked like as he was a Serpent. “Considering I’m also a serpent, it would make sense that I know the leader. Your brother’s a great guy.” Cassian hopped up to sit on the counter looking over at Jellybean. “Well, my store is your store. So long as you don’t steal from me, we’ll get along just fine.”

she didn’t need to say how entertained she was by his words - her grin was telltale enough. a man of high morals indeed. “that does sound like it’d do the trick,” she laughed, admittedly ( and foolishly ) only half taking him seriously and adding, good naturedly, “i’ll be honest, shutting the door and locking me in anywhere would probably make ME start confessin’ to a robbery i didn’t even commit.” it was a joke. kinda. jellybean wasn’t exactly known for being the most EDGY of serpents - there was a softness to her that would forever prevent it, and a nervousness under the surface that was just waiting to bubble over. she liked to think she’d be better than that, of course, but... she still ran the risk. “oh, my gosh-” face full of apology, she struggled to meet his gaze out of nothing more than her own shame- “i’m sorry. i’m not good with faces, or- names. my dad and jug, they’re....- they know EVERYONE. i haven’t officially joined yet, so... i only know the serpents i went to school with.” actually, she knew quite a few more than that - but she felt bad enough for not realizing he was one ( especially as he complimented her brother - she agreed ) without thinking about that. “you’re gonna get so annoyed of me,” she promised, pulling a billy joel record from one of the rows with an expression on her face that could only be described as heart eyes, “trust me. two weeks from now - assuming i haven’t bought you out, cause these records are incredible - you’ll be BEGGING me to leave.”

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deadhoused‌:

“don’t act so surprised, princess.” her eyes are fixed on the younger girl, a small, somewhat sarcastic, smile creeping across her face. “yeah - yeah, they’re just peachy! what do you think?”

“you obviously don’t relate, but i don’t spend a lot of my time around addicts.” jellybean retorted, her tone a little sharper than was intended ( and than was probably wise, considering her present company ). “at least i cared to ASK. you and yours clearly don’t - or you wouldn’t have let the ghoulies get this mixed up with DRUGS.”

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christiancarlysle‌:

Christian couldn’t help but chuckle as he sat there, his gaze fixed upon Jellybean as he waited for her to respond. He’d taken a leap, a risk if you must, with his choice of Living La Vida Loca- and he knew she’d jump on it. And sure enough she took the bait, bringing a smile to his face as he listened to her speak. He couldn’t care less about their disagreement, but sitting there- talking with her, being able to see how passionate she could be, now that was something else entirely. “So just because we disagree, that means my opinion is somehow wrong? I really don’t think that’s fair,” he responded, pursing his lips together in an attempt to hide a smile as he locked eyes with her. “And now you’re attacking a true classic? How dare you Jellybean, how dare you,” he retorted, his voice raising ever so slightly as he threw his hands into the air., a cry of frustration leaving his lips. “Africa by Toto is a classic and we both know it!”

“hey - it was my question,” she pointed out, quickly, as if that somehow excused her being so judgey about the OPINION expressed. in jellybean’s eyes, it really did. “in other circles, other situations, your wrong opinion might not have been classed as so. but this time, i asked, and i get to decide who’s answers are RIGHT, and who’s are wrong.” and it was obvious from the way her pointed gaze game to rest upon him that her mind was made up, and he was just going to have to live with that. stubbornness was a trait inherited from her father - and there wasn’t a HOPE IN HELL that christian was going to change her now. “that’s the thing! africa isn’t a classic - it’s internet catnip. it’s only popular NOW because a bunch of millennials have decided that it’s something other than a subpar 80s bop that was popularized after stranger things used it! is it good as billie jean? jessie’s girl? hell - wake me up before you go-go? NO. it wouldn’t even be in the same league as any of those songs if it hadn’t been made into a meme, and those are just facts.”

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blvejasmine‌:

SHE  SLIDES  FROM  HER  SEAT  AT  THE  BAR  with  an  exaggerated  eye - roll  and  a  muttering  of  “  white  people  ”  in  response  to  jellybean’s  greeting,  landing  with  a  smile  because  she  doesn’t  need  to  reassure  jellybean  that  she’s  joking.  veronica  sends  the  two  bartenders  she  had  in  early  for  company  (  and  cocktails  )  off  to  the  storeroom  for  glassware  with  a  nod  before  she  winds  two  UNINVITED  arms  around  jb’s  frame.  only  briefly,  of  course.  she  allows  herself  only  a  moment,  one  sigh  and  “  not  a  moment  of  peace  in  this  town,  hm  ?  ”  before  all  is  right  in  the  world  of  veronica  lodge  once  again,  releasing  the  other  and  turning  to  lead  the  way  to  the  kitchen.  “  the  single  door  in  and  out  of  this  place  can  be  a  real  bitch  where  fire  codes  are  concerned,  but  our  security  system  is  cheap  and  effective.  the  diner  will  always  be  a  very  attractive  target  for  hooligans.  still,  i  don’t  know  WHO  would  be  so  insensitive…  ”  she  plays  ignorant  because  she  doesn’t  have  the  time  or  emotional  energy  the  truth  demands.  “  ghoulies,  surely.  ”

she doesn’t take it personal. she’s more than certainly not the type - especially not when the words come from VERONICA. with her, the only appropriate response ( and the only one jellybean ever could have had ) was a chuckle that made her sound happier than either of them were likely feeling at the moment and an instant boost to her already bright smile. it didn’t matter the hug lasted but a fleeting moment, or that it was, in the first place, unusual - she moved closer the same time veronica did so she could fold herself into the embrace and take from it a modicum of solace. she had never had a sister by blood, but thanks to jughead, she felt that she had gained two at least CLOSE to being so ; and she wouldn’t say out loud, but the way she squeezed the other almost a little bit too tight for a half second was loud enough in saying just how much she’d missed her. “you guys are lucky, down here. we’ve got the main doors, the exit ones, the windows - it’s not exactly hard to escape in a rush, plus all the stuff that was just waiting to get smashed up was as good as a hoodlums WET DREAM,” it was phrased as something of a joke ; but there was nothing funny about the ‘ in poor taste ‘ vandalism of a riverdale landmark. at times like these, it was as easy to make a poor attempt at lightening the situation as it was to point the finger in an obvious direction. “they did target pops before,” she points out, halfheartedly, only believing her own words at face value, “it makes sense, it’d be them. you think the cops are gonna do anything?”

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JACK   /   JELLYBEAN   /   VIVA

✰ * º ❛   buzzfeed unsolved sentence starters  ( pt. four )   ❜

         (   part of the youtube starter series   )

‘  you don’t feel strange at all? not even a little bit?  ’ ‘  oh shit, waddup! i’m taking a selfie with some demons, yooo. hell yeah, whaaa!!  ’ ‘  you’re insufferable.  ’ ‘  yeah, i’m just gonna… get some fucking holy water.  ’ ‘  i’ve lived my life with one adage and that’s don’t fuck with demons.  ’ ‘  i just love seeing you squirm!  ’ ‘  okay, tell your spooky story!  ’ ‘  i think this is all bullshit.  ’ ‘  we better get out of this house, somebody knocked our little bear out of his little wicker chair.  ’ ‘  you’re telling me you wouldn’t be unnerved by going upstairs and seeing a bunch of stuffed animals organized into a little cult circle when no one did it?  ’ ‘  what the fuck? oh shit! no!! where’s my holy water?  ’ ‘  what the fuck? oh shit! no!!  ’ ‘  where’s my holy water?  ’ ‘  it’s just a flashlight! it rolls, it’s cylindrical!  ’ ‘  here’s the thing– this is what i fucking love about like, paranormal evidence. people are always clamoring for it, right? like ‘where’s the evidence,’ and then when the evidence is finally they’re like, ‘fake!’  ’ ‘  if you slit my throat tonight, i’m gonna have a hard time forgiving you for that.  ’ ‘  will you haunt me for the rest of my life?  ’ ‘  no, i won’t haunt you cause i’ll be dead. ghosts aren’t real.  ’ ‘  that demon’s racist!  ’ ‘  fuck that demon, he’s whitewashing the history of this house.  ’ ‘  this demon’s what’s wrong with hollywood.  ’ ‘  whatever, demon’s racist. i don’t respect this demon.  ’ ‘  you’ve lost your mind!  ’ ‘  here we go! rock and roll, buckaroo.  ’ ‘  fuck this house. fuck this house so hard.  ’ ‘  here’s the thing, i discount almost 100% of all of ‘i saw it in the middle of the night’ things because sleep paralysis, often times, most people wake up and see shit.  ’ ‘  if i wake up tonight and there’s this grotesque looking thing laying next to me and just staring at me with it’s fucking stupid beady eyes open, i’m gonna shit myself. there’s gonna be poo in my sleeping bag.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna sleep closer to you, i don’t care.  ’ ‘  every little pin drop that you hear, every little creak, it’s gonna make your butthole tighten.  ’ ‘  i think it would be a sleep-full night for me if it weren’t for you.  ’ ‘  annnnnd nope, i’m man enough to admit that this is not happening tonight. i can’t. it’s not happening ever.  ’ ‘  you givin’ up?  ’ ‘  i just think it’s silly to give up at the last minute, but whatever. you know, it’s no big deal.  ’ ‘  did you just call the demon a motherfucker?  ’ ‘  i don’t give a shit now, i’m gone.  ’ ‘  peace out, bitches. go fuck yourself. you were truly awful and i hate you.  ’ ‘  this is the happiest moment of my life.  ’ ‘  i think it was just a wonderful coincidence.  ’ ‘  i’m glad it happened because i got to see you turn into a babbling mess.  ’ ‘  i’m happy to let you believe in this ‘cause i think it’s fun that you believe in it, cause if we go to more places, it’s gonna be fun to watch you freak out some more. so great.  ’ ‘  let’s just call it unsolved, how ‘bout that?  ’ ‘  but we sure had fun!  ’ ‘  he looks really happy, actually. look at that little face. he looks like he’s eatin’ grapes.  ’ ‘  that’s really interesting, let’s get the fuck out of here.  ’ ‘  i don’t wanna imagine that. can’t you just let me enjoy the moment for once?  ’ ‘  what a trip its been. we’ve seen a lot of stuff. seen spiders, we’ve seen… ghouls.  ’ ‘  this looks like disney land. i wouldn’t be surprised if they got cotton candy in there.  ’ ‘  yuk it up, man. yuk it up. you’re really enjoying this, but when the lights go off, this may be a little different.  ’ ‘  you’re full of shit if you do not feel strange right now.  ’ ‘  i assure you in like half of the places you’ve been, people have died there. people have probably died in the chipotle we just ate at.  ’ ‘  well then that’s why she didn’t live forever! cause she found a loophole!  ’ ‘  i won’t argue that your logic is flawed. i just hate it because it’s detrimental to my argument.  ’ ‘  you think the ghosts just checked in every like 3 to 5 years?  ’ ‘  this is a theory. i’m just stating a theory.  ’ ‘  no one builds a house like this because they have arthritis. no one says, ‘oh, my knuckles feel a little funny. i’m gonna build a house with 500 rooms.’  ’ ‘  i hear ya, man. i agree with ya. i’m just saying this is a theory that people believe… and i’m relaying the theory.  ’ ‘  those people are idiots.  ’ ‘  i mean, you know what the doctor says: ‘nothing’s better for arthritis than a two story drop to the floor below’ right?  ’ ‘  although, i will say, i cannot imagine communicating with spirits produces any kind of receipt.  ’ ‘  that’d be– yeah. i… i agree with your calling of bullshit.  ’ ‘  good! i’m glad we agree on something for once.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna lock myself in here with the ghosts.  ’ ‘  i knew that you were gonna do that and it still scared me. fuck you.  ’ ‘  hey, man. calm down!  ’ ‘  you almost scared me to death – i’m never gonna forgive you for that. hope you’re fucking proud of yourself.  ’ ‘  there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real. you can’t see gravity – that’s real.  ’ ‘  i can’t see gravity? yeah, i can drop an apple.  ’ ‘  hey, ghosts! tussle my hair. give me a little purple nurple or something, let’s have some fun!  ’ ‘  you’re the worst.  ’ ‘  if i have to spend one more moment looking at your silly face, i think i might murder you myself.  ’ ‘  we’re on our way to a nightmare.  ’ ‘  you’re on your way to a nightmare. i’m on my way to a nice retreat.  ’ ‘  this is a mistake.  ’ ‘  there’s also a thunderstorm rolling in so that’s fun.  ’ ‘  he looks fine. look at him! the kids fine and now i feel like a big weenie.  ’ ‘  you are a big weenie.  ’ ‘  this is the beginning of a horror movie right now.  ’ ‘  that’s an ominous cloud in the sky. some very atmospheric thunder.  ’ ‘  well, this seems all horrible and awful in general.  ’ ‘  look, there’s spiders everywhere, so that’s nice.  ’ ‘  see, i’m more concerned about the spiders than the ghosts.  ’ ‘  i thought i got bit in the asscheeks by a spider.  ’ ‘  anytime i get even remotely spooked, i just look to the monkey with the sunglasses.  ’ ‘  is that a bed? is that a guy? should we poke it with a stick?  ’ ‘  uhh, sure. if that’s what it’s gonna take to get us out of here then yes, i believe in all of this.  ’ ‘  this is a fucking nightmare.  ’ ‘  what the fuck was that?! holy shit balls!  ’ ‘  okay, i don’t care what his favorite was – fuck that, let’s go.  ’ ‘  toodaloo, can’t say it was pleasurable.  ’ ‘  fuck everything about that place.  ’ ‘  ‘odd’ doesn’t even begin to describe this one. it’s very strange.  ’ ‘  my interest is piqued.  ’ ‘  they’re making their kids work seven days a week? my parents would maybe be like, ‘empty the dishwasher’ on a… you know, a thursday, and i’d be like, ‘this is bullshit.’   ’ ‘  i guess i’d run away from my parents if they made me work seven days a week, especially if i was shoveling horse shit and moving dirt.  ’ ‘  i’d fake my own death.  ’ ‘  you strike me as one of those idiots who likes to put their phone down and walk into the middle of the woods and experience nature and all that bullshit.  ’ ‘  either way, leaving your house in this day and age without your phone, without your credit cards, that’s already a death sentence. you can’t do that.  ’ ‘  this is what happens when you live on a farm.  ’ ‘  what wide generalization are you gonna make about people on farms right now?  ’ ‘  i just think you gotta read some– some culture, eh, watch some two and a half men, i don’t care. just connect to popular media and know what the world is thinking, otherwise you go nuts.  ’ ‘  yeah, ‘cause nothing says sanity and civilization like a red robin resturant, right?  ’ ‘  how much trouble could a family of farmers get into?  ’ ‘  farmers and bears don’t mix. they don’t put bears on farms.  ’ ‘  i imagine this is a little bit more than they bargained for when they were trying to find that pikachu.  ’ ‘  that’s fucking terrifying.  ’ ‘  you just lock your door. you’re in a car, drive away. that’s not that scary. and then, you know, if the doors don’t work and he starts breaking a window, then guess what? time to die. and that’s a bummer.  ’ ‘  then guess what? time to die. and that’s a bummer.  ’ ‘  what point does the fear come in? about when the life is draining out of my body.  ’ ‘  oh yeah, excuse the public for wondering about your safety, sir.  ’ ‘  this does make me realize i don’t give people the middle finger enough.  ’ ‘  i guess i’ll just go fuck myself then.  ’ ‘  i’m not gonna go find my kids if i’m trying to get off the grid. off the grid, no more kids.  ’ ‘  alright, well… once again, we’ve solved nothing.  ’ ‘  do you think you could become part of a shared delusion?  ’ ‘  every time i’ve ever offered even a little bit of a delusional thought, you immediately shut it down.  ’ ‘  no one thinks they’re susceptible to shared delusions and then it happens.  ’ ‘  what if we’re in a shared delusion right now?  ’ ‘  is this all in our mind?  ’ ‘  it could be all in our mind. this could be the most elaborate delusion of all and we’re talking we’re talking about delusions which, in term, is actually a weird delusional loop.  ’

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deadhoused‌:

@forsythiias​​ asked :  ‘ your friend sounds like an after school special. ’

    “ yeah, well… most drug addicts do. ”

“oh.” if jellybean seemed WAY taken aback, it was cause she was. the serpents had been a lot of things - but she didn’t know a great many drug addicts amongst them, and hadn’t exactly recognized the SIGNS. “that’s, uh...- are they ok?”

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mocse‌:

Moose was laser-focused still. He didn’t want to mess this up and fail. But, even so, a smile crept up onto his lips at the words from the girl next to him. “Totally allowed,” he chuckled, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. “I like to think I’m just a natural. If you can believe it, this is the first time I’ve even played this thing. I’ve never even gone to this arcade before today.” Okay, so he was bragging just a bit, but what was wrong with that? If Moose was confident about anything, he was confident about his gaming skills.

“well then ; i’m impressed.” she probably didn’t need to actually SAY IT, after making a show of seeing if she could - but the more she watched, the more she felt it. arcade games weren’t her forte. she understood them well enough ( and if given enough time, was fairly good at working out the little tricks to every game that developers didn’t want you to know ), but actually playing them and enjoying them for what they were was beyond her. she only felt MORE in awe when he revealed how new he was to the game in question. “no way-” eyes widening a little in surprise, she looked from the screen to his profile in utter DISBELIEF, “- no one is this good at a game they JUST found, unless they made it. midge’s has been open forever, now, you’ve GOTTA have been here before.” forever ; read as ; more than a fortnight. 

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teddysansthebear‌:

Teddy opened his mouth to retort her point, not wanting to be made a fool of until he realized that ship had long since sailed, so he just as quickly closed his chompers. “You make a very compelling point. I see your valid and almost scarily accurate point and a raise you a ‘I’m just kind of absent-minded sometimes and you’re just gonna have to accept that I don’t often do and/or think like most logical people typically would.’ ” He spouted with a raised finger and an all too-knowing tone of voice. And just as he finished another Beckett famous speech, he all too late realized that the bag was being thrown up to him, after all. And on a countdown, no less! Which didn’t serve to make him less nervous, countdowns added way too many implicated stakes. “No, but I’m gonna try and give it a go!” He did his very best to scramble for the bag, though he was several inches too elevated to catch it before it went tumbling back down tot he soft grass. With a huff, he ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m starting to think I don’t need it as much as I think I do.”

“perhaps you should start,” jellybean replied, simply, not really realizing that just TELLING someone they should begin thinking like most logical people wouldn’t actually make them MORE LIKELY to do so. as a scarily logical person - and as someone who had been that way for as long as she could really remember - it was easy, for her. she didn’t know what it was like in someone else’s shoes. the bag sailed through the air ( going impressively high, she thought, though not high enough ), and all too soon came crashing back down - and as it hit the ground with a heavy THUD, jellybean made a very apologetic face. “sorry. i thought i’d be able to get it high enough for you to snag.” the blame, she felt, wasn’t on him at all, but on her. and NOW, feeling as if she had messed up a bit, she was far more willing to do what it took to get him the bag he had previously insisted he needed. “hold on-” rushing forwards and hefting the rucksack once more, jb moved with purpose to the base of the tree, and wasted no time at all in beginning to scale it. she hadn’t climbed anything ( nevermind a tree ) in YEARS, but her feet count purchase quite easily, and after a few long moments of careful climbing, she had reached a bough just a small bit beneath his own, but close enough that she was able to extend her arm towards him, bag gripped tight- “take it before i fall.” 

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therpmemes‌:

       john mulaney: kid gorgeous   → sentence starters

slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!

❝ Let’s change the subject! ❞

❝ This is a weird conversation and I want to talk about a book I read about World War II.❞

❝ Whoever did kill her only did it to protect her from this world. ❞

❝ Ah, none of us really know their fathers. ❞

❝ I was sitting over on the bench. ❞

❝ You saw what happened and did nothing! ❞

❝ Sometimes, he was gay. ❞

❝ When he was holding back the gay part, he did some of his best work. ❞

❝ I never talked to my dad about that but I figured I’d tell you. ❞

❝ Freebasing is the greatest orgasm known to man. ❞

❝ I’ve been sober now two weeks. Well, weekdays, not weekends. ❞

❝ What was so funny? I wanna know. ❞

❝ None of that matters but it’s important to me that you know that.  ❞

❝ Phonebooks don’t leave bruises. ❞

❝ Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money! ❞

❝ I thought I’d be dead in a trunk by now. ❞

❝ You spent it already?! ❞

❝ Where’s the money? ❞

❝ I lived on cigarettes and alcohol and adderall. ❞

❝ Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep? ❞

❝ That’s illegal! They tricked me! ❞

❝ I paid 120,000 dollars for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn’t!❞

❝ If it’s too big you can just wear it as a sleep-shirt. ❞

❝ Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? ❞

❝ Jokes don’t do well in court. ❞

❝ I’m in the phase right before Old. ❞

❝ I am damp all the time. ❞

❝ I am gross. ❞

❝ UGHHHHH – you know, life. ❞

❝ I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room. ❞

❝ I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason. ❞

❝ Let’s just not see each other for eight months and it doesn’t matter at all. ❞

❝ I was raised to be nice to everyone in every situation because you never know their story. ❞

❝ A lot of people don’t seem that nice and they seem to be doing fine in the world. ❞

❝ Not everyone thinks the same things are nice. ❞

❝ Famous people are weird as shit. ❞

❝ Your suspicions are correct. ❞

❝ I say ‘knock-knock’ out loud.❞

❝ The world is run by robots and we spend most of our time telling them we’re not a robot. ❞

❝ Think about that for two minutes and tell me that you don’t want to walk into the ocean.❞

❝ It seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the time. ❞

❝ I try to stay optimistic even though things seem to be getting a little sticky. ❞

❝ I don’t remember that in Hamilton. ❞

❝ I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting. ❞

❝ What do you think they’re celebrating? ❞

❝ I wasn’t raised catholic and I’m fucking glad I wasn’t because it’s a fucked up organization. ❞

❝ That should be the slogan of the catholic church: It’s an hour! ❞

❝ God can’t hear you. ❞

❝ First of all, get out of here with your facts. Just ‘cause you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting. ❞

❝ A charming anecdote that was fake and never happened. ❞

❝ These meaningless politeness rules! ❞

❝ I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. ❞

❝ My wife is a bitch and I like her so much. ❞ 

❝ I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change. ❞

❝ I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff. ❞

❝ Brush your teeth! Now boom, orange juice! That’s life. ❞

❝ College is a $120,000 hooker and you’re the idiot who fell in love with her.❞

❝ STREET SMARTS! ❞

❝ He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin. ❞

JELLYBEAN   /   VIVA