fortunatelydelicatesoul

[fortunatelydelicatesoul]

Reblog if you are insecure about anything below:

-weight

-appearance

-intelligence (or lack of) 

-skills (or lack of) 

-weird hobbies

-friends (or lack of) 

-body

-personality

-family

Who ever reblogs this will get a message in their inbox.

[fortunatelydelicatesoul]

10 Song Playlist Tag

Tagged by @mellow-stories on my main but I’m going to do it here to keep all my writing stuff here. Thank you For tagging me!

rules: use your wip playlist (or any playlist) and put it on shuffle (no skipping). Write the first 10 songs that come up and quote your favorite lyrics from each song and/or the lyrics that fit your wip best (they might be the same lyrics), then tag 10 people.

I’m going to do my WIP Trapped since I have a playlist for that.  

1. Kill Everyone- Hollywood Undead

Don’t even try to take this weapon from me I like you more and more the lesser you breathe

2. Welcome to Nowhere- The Band’s Visit

Like in “boring” Like in “barren” Like in “bullshit” Like in “bland” Like in “basically bleak and beige and blah, blah, blah…”

3. Zero Dark Thirty- Aesop Rock

Roving packs of elusive young become Choke-lore writers over boosted drums In the terrifying face of a future tongue Down down from a huntable surplus to one

4. El Tango de Roxanne- Moulin Rouge

You’re free to leave me But just don’t deceive me And please believe me when I say I love you!

5. Prologue- Les Miserables

Look down, look down Don’t look ‘em in the eye Look down, look down You’re here until you die

6. Waiting- The Band’s Visit

Time is like syrup (Just waiting for something) And I’m the bug stuck (To happen, for) In the syrup (Anything to happen) Just kind of trying to find out (Waiting to find out) What I’m doing wrong (What I’m doing wrong)

7. Castle on the Hill- Ed Sheeran

And I’m on my way, I still remember These old country lanes When we did not know the answers And I miss the way you make me feel, it’s real We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill

8. I Don’t Wanna Die- Hollywood Undead

Now that I see, I see you buried six feet below It’s not alright, can’t you hear me as I cry?

9. Ava Adore- The Smashing Pumpkins

Drinking mercury To the mystery of all that you should ever seek to find Lovely girl, you’re the murder in my world Dressing coffins for the souls I’ve left behind

10. Why We Build the Wall- Hadestown

And the war is never won The enemy is poverty And the wall keeps out the enemy And we build the wall to keep us free That’s why we build the wall We build the wall to keep us free

I tag @inlustri @chalilodimun @underwoodinc @bluewritesforever @ill-write-when-im-dead @lifestreetstyle @aurumni-writes @writing-young @dasmimswriting @waywordwriter

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Mangoes,

she said “ I love them “

I pretended that I have no interest listening to what she likes or not but sure I have a mango tree that is unknown to her. A few weeks now, since this conversation, I briefly said that if I come across some, I’ll bring it over then she pretended that she didn’t hear what I was saying.

I’m learning, with this new language of being a pretender.

I have always been too forward with my feelings, but this time, I am not going backwards but I am holding my breath under 500m below this uncharted water instead

So it has been days, I’ve been meaning to get her some, till today. They are not ripe yet but, I have left them there on her desk. There’s no note or anything; so here we are just hovering on the silent atmosphere, there’s no movement, there is no progression nor the willingness of being vulnerable.

But a gratitude & an acknowledgement came through the echo of her own comprehension , did she make the day cooler in this endless summer days? Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps —

-

-

Dolly

27.10.2018

Who am I these days?

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Person: So what kind of things do you like to do? I mean, besides reading?

Me: …

Waiter: …

Guy at the next table: …

Neighbor who loaned me a book once: ….

Librarian who is on a first name basis with me: …

Man who sold me my library: …

Me: Well, I write books sometimes too…

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Superstition

Are you superstitious, or do you

Like to to sleep on the 13th floor?

Do you leave umbrellas up inside, or

Hold seances in the house next door?

.

Do you walk by a wishing well,

Or make a wish, you dare not tell?

The wish you make, is just for you,

And if revealed, will not come true.

.

If you’re not superstitious,

Then I’ve no time for you.

I need a friend who likes to scream,

When I jump out yelling “BOO”.

.

Superstition is my middle name,

As a child it started as a game,

Jumping cracks on a broken path,

And throwing salt behind my back.

.

Have you ever had a lucid dream

That ended up coming true?

Or perhaps a nightmare come to life,

That scared the life out of you.

.

In our beds at night we cringed in fear,

‘lest the headless man was drawing near,

And down the road, in storm and gale,

We could hear the Banshees haunting wail.

.

I can’t stop writing about ghosts & goblins,

Witches, werewolves & the rest,

Maybe it’s the company I’m keeping

Or perhaps my pen’s possessed.

.

Rhymingtherapy & Ambrose Harte ~ October 2018

A collaboration between myself and the very talented @ambroseharte

His words in bold.

[fortunatelydelicatesoul]

God I Love Pink

Have you ever loved something

so much it made you feel alive

inside to look at it

touch it

think about it

like Barney when I was three

pink when I was five

my best friend when I was seven

my grandma when I was nine.

Then nothing, for so long

there was no love, no beauty,

only death, struggling to breathe

drowning silently in suffering

dead inside, like that time I told

him

no, between the doors of that car

where he wouldn’t listen or

understand and I felt myself closing

down, nailing in the final plank

before I would be trapped

forever in darkness, gone,

a shell with black eyes

revealing where demons reside

clawing to be free,

ripping out my insides,

giving in to what I’ve always known

to be true;

worthlessness.

*

Until, something stronger– she’s

been with me since birth,

watching, loving pink– broke free

of her pit where she lived

along with my hope, joy, and

innocence,

shooting forward filling

my finger tips my chest my throat, “NO!”

This absolutely was not

happening.

Lifting myself up,

Opening the door of that car,

slamming it with shaking fingers,

pounding heart leading me

down the street away from his calls

his car follows, begging me.

*

I was too young to die that day,

to hand over that final piece of

myself, because I wasn’t dead

I still struggled for breath

life filling my chest,

each exhale my heart longed

for it to be my last, each inhale

my body fought back,

and now she was shouting

making herself be heard from

my depths,

“You’re still alive!

You love colors and

your best friend and

your grandma who died

because it was her time to end,

just like the others but it’s not

your time yet,

Little One

who is still innocent, filled with

hope and joy stuffed down,

hidden inside because you were

worthless in your eyes,

in your heart,

ignoring the power you’ve held

from the start.”

*

I feel alive inside when I laugh.

God I love to laugh!

I make myself laugh like a baby

everyday

and I never want that to change.

I feel alive inside when I sing, when

music vibrates in the air around me.

God I love to dance with it!

My body set free, finally,

my muscles stretching in

exaltation.

I feel alive inside when I create.

Through healing hands,

capturing beauty in plants,

in photos and words.

God I love to write!

And then to read what I have

written, over and over,

seeing myself laid bare on paper,

free.

I feel alive inside when I’m

surrounded by colors;

And pink….

God I love pink.

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You touched me

with your words

i’m in love with the

smell of your ink

i always wanna live

in this heaven

i felt like a star

thinking your words are for me

But one day you told me

your words are

for someone else

The flames of words

belongs to someone else

you went

and now i’m here

playing with words

trying to find you

in these words

writting about my scars

i’m waiting for you

with a faith that

we’ll meet in world of stars

-Nightingale

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Once upon a time in a far off tower,

Where the wind blew icey and cold.

Lived a spirited young princess,

With snow white skin and hair of gold.

Locked in her tower she remained-

Hope in her eyes of blue-

Waiting for years and years

For a knight with love that’s true.

Happily ever after

An original work.

I grew up watching those disney movies

Where the prince always comes by in the end,

And the princess gets her happily ever after

With all of her singing animal friends.

I know it’s like totally lame,

But when no one else is around

I like to pretend im one of those princesses,

With a jewel encrusted crown.

I adore being a princess.

I have a perfect manicure, flawless golden curls,

Absolutely stunning makeup,

My neck is dripping with pearls.  

I’m a damsel in distress,

Locked up in a tower,

Fair and faint and weak,

As delicate as a flower.

So In my room I sit waiting, for

“I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss.

And a prince I’m hoping comes with this”

I’ve played it in my head thousands of times

Of how our first meeting will go,

He’ll kiss my hand on bended knee

Telling me, “I love you so.”

But you see the thing about that is

That i’ve been waiting several years.

High atop my tower i sit

Holding back my tears.

My knight in shining armor should be here,

With my kiss of love that’s true.

But it seems like he’s forgotten about me…

almost like i’ll never be rescued.

It’s like…

I’ve pricked my finger on a spinning wheel,

Yet kissless im left unawoken,

With no prince to throw my hair down to,

And my glass slippers have all been broken.

Where’s my magic flying carpet?

My Prince Charming on his noble steed?

Where’s my fairy godmother,

Like in the fairytales I read?

I’ve been dreaming of a “whole new world”

Since I was barely old enough to walk,

trapped all alone in my tower

Because despite what Cinderella says- mice dont talk.

Where is my happily ever after?

Where is my dance at the royal ball?

Am I just going to stay in my tower forever?

With no one to save me at all?

I’ll die alone within these walls,

With only jewels as friends.

Chained to my golden glamourous prison,

Is that how my story ends?!

But then I realize…

I don’t need to be rescued…

Saving myself shouldn’t be considered taboo.

I need to cut off my hair, take off my heels

Because I know I’ll never hear “bippity boppity boo.”

Even though my identity has been tied to my knight,

I am defined by myself not him.

And light starts to shine on thoughts in my head

That had previously been so dim.

These thoughts say that to live my life,

I need to get rid of my fear.

So I refuse to be quiet any longer

I’ll shout loud for all to hear.

I mean look at it through my eyes.

Why do I have to be reliant on guys?

Why am I a thing to be treated like a prize?

Why are young girls sexualized?

Why are we dehumanized?

Our bodies a playground for lustful eyes.

Why are we as females generalized?

I am not my dress size.

I am not my breast size.

I don’t have to put up with this princess disguise.

My voice was made to me more than whimpers and cries.

I don’t have to be the one who is chastised.

My life is something I need to revise,

it’s  about time that we as girls realize,

That it is not ourselves we need to despise,

But rather the world that’s perpetuating these lies.

Because who says I can’t slay the dragon,

Battling foes from near and far.

And even if you’re a “princess”

I promise that isn’t all that you are.

And to every little girl who dreams of being a princess,

To that I say that there is nothing wrong.

Simply be aware that inside of each princess

There lives a knight who is just as strong.

I realized these things,

And now for myself I can fend.

So… I lived happily ever after.

And that’s “The end.”