fragmentedfemme

[fragmentedfemme]

Breaking Free

The rain was pouring outside, the deluge was drumming its icy cold fingers against the skylight above.  I lay in bed watching the trickles down the slant of the window into the gutter below,  my mind full of thoughts, each one chasing the other round and round in circles.  I tilted my head to the side to glance at the alarm clock at Kevin’s side of the bed.  3.05am.  Five more minutes then it was time.  Just like I practised over the last month.  

I looked again.   It was time.  I carefully pulled back the sheets as so not to wake the man lying next to me.   His arm was draped over me, heavy across my stomach.  Gently I lifted his arm and moved it off of me, with careful and precise movements I sat up and slid out of bed.  I crept around the bed doing my best not to wake Kevin,  it was unlikely he would wake though. He had drunk enough for a football team last night, but I could never be quite sure if he would wake up to go pee or sleep like the dead.  I was taking a huge chance.  But it had to be tonight, now that I was strong enough to follow through.

I heard the bed creak and I froze in place, holding my breath and glanced over my shoulder and watched as he turned around onto his back and started to snore.  I let my breath go in a relieved sigh and continued my silent trek out of the bedroom.  Once in the hallway I relaxed slightly, I walked faster towards the stairs, heading down to the utility room,  once of the few places that he ever ventured into.    As I reached the bottom of the stairs,  I caught sight of my reflection in the floor length mirror that was hung on the wall opposite the stairs and I winced.  My red hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail,  my features were pale in the early morning gloom, but  bruises were clear even in the darkness.  A fading black eye and matching trail of bruises running along my jawline, more recent marks adorned my upper arms and a necklace of red blotches circled my throat.  Taking a second I looked at my pathetic reflection,  tears stinging my eyes.  Enough was enough, I had to go.

Hurrying  through to the utility room,  I knelt down in front of the cabinet closest to the washer and moved the obligatory soap powders, softeners and stain removers that I had artfully placed in front of a large khaki canvas bag I had hidden in there weeks ago.  I was careful as I pulled it out, making sure that I didn’t knock anything over or make too loud a noise that would wake up Kevin.  As the bag came clear of the cabinet, I pulled open the zipper and re-checked the contents as I had done every day this week,  worried that he would find it and remove the essentials that I had placed in there to make my escape more difficult or impossible.  I moved everything around, the cash that I had saved up since the beatings began, a few thousand dollars.  My passport, birth certificate, drivers license.  Spare clothes, a burner phone that I had purchased the last time I had been allowed out without him. A map, bus timetables.  Everything was there as I pushed everything back into place,  a small black and grey photo appeared, peeking out from the safety of my journal.  My eyes flooded with tears, my hand instantly moving to cradle my flat stomach.  With my free hand I reached in and snaked the photo out of my journal, pulling it free to expose it in full.  My first and last sonogram.  My hand drew circles over my stomach that had until 3 months ago housed our baby,  my baby.  That was until I made Kevin dinner and forgot to use the correct napkins.  

It had been building all day,  a look here,  a disgusted grunt there.  I had not folded the towel in the bathroom correctly,  one of the tins on the pantry shelves was slightly out of alignment to the rest of them.  I looked too long at myself in the mirror.   It didn’t take much.  A few punches to the face, till I dropped to my knees.  I was too slow to protect my stomach,  never thinking for a moment that he would do anything to endanger the baby,  but a couple of well placed kicks to the stomach was all that was needed.  He left me there,  lying on the floor, losing blood.  Losing our baby while he went to the local bar for a few beers and no doubt to flirt or worse with the barmaid there,  who had no clue what kind of man he really was.  When he came home and saw me,  trying so hard to clean up the blood,  he was so apologetic, promising as he always did that he was sorry and that it would never happen again.  He knew this time he didn’t have a choice.  He would have to take me to the emergency room, I had lost a lot of blood.  So he took me in and they confirmed what I already knew,  he murdered our child and if I didn’t get out one day he would murder me too.

So here I sat,  glancing at what should have been my future but was now a part of my past.  I slid the photo back into my journal and zipped the bag closed.  Pulling open the door to the washer I dug out the clothes that I had put in there this morning. Underwear, socks, Black skinny jeans, a camisole and a beige chunky knit sweater.  I dressed as quickly as I could, sliding my feet into my sneakers left at the side of the door.  Picking up the bag, I traversed the way through the house to the back door.  The yard had a gate at the bottom which opened up into the woods.  The gate had a lock on it but I had sneaked the key from the cabinet this afternoon and had left a torch down next to the gate, hidden by some bushes.  I took my large thick fleece from the hook and slipped it on,  followed by a wooly hat to help cover my hair.  Shouldering the bag I stood a moment, listening intently to the sounds of the house.  Hearing nothing alarming I turned the key in the lock of the door and opened it slowly.  Nothing but silence of the early morning greeted me.  I stepped out into the chill and closed the door behind me.  I took a few steps and looked back at the house, taking a moment to check each of the windows for him.  Nothing, each window was black and empty.

I half ran down the yard to the gate,  reached into the bushes to extract the torch and then reached into my jacket pocket to retrieve the key I had secured in there earlier.  My hand slipped around its coldness and I clasped it tight and moved to unlock the gate.  The lock clicked free and the gate opened with ease giving off no noise.  One last look at the house and all was still dark, I stepped out of the yard and into the darkness of the woods and closed the gate behind me.   I had traced the route over and over whenever Kevin had gone to the bar or out fishing and knew how to get down to the main road that led into town, to the safety of the bus depot.  The safety of the bus that was leaving for Washington at 5.15am from there I would get a bus or train up into Canada and eventually move on over to Alaska.  I had a cousin who lived in Anchorage, I should hopefully be able to stay with her for a few days, till I cleared my head and decided what I wanted to do,  stay or move on..  I glanced down at the watch on my wrist 4:20 am.  Damn I was behind schedule.  I switched on the torch and followed its beam as I ran down the wooded trail as quick as I dared in the darkness,  I had to be careful, I couldn't afford to fall and break my ankle.  

Eventually the light of the main road came and I breathed easier. I was almost there.  I looked again at my watch.  4:50am.  Ok,  that was better.  It would take me 10 minutes to get to town then I had 15 minutes to get my tickets,  run to the restroom, grab a coffee and get seated on the bus before it left.  

The twinkle of lights at the bus station brought a smile to my lips.  Finally my safe haven was in sight.   Stepping up to the ticket booth I purchased my ticket with a smile and stowed it safely into my pocket before heading to use the restroom.  As I washed up, I heard the boarding call for my bus and noting that departure was in 5 minutes.  Stepping out of the restroom I eyed the coffee stand,  there were no customers in line so it took mere moments for me to get my order,  a black coffee, bottle of water and a blueberry muffin.  I gathered up my refreshments and made the short walk to the bus.  The driver was standing next to the door with a clipboard and was checking peoples tickets and marking them off of his list.  I stood in line and patiently waited for my turn.  When it came to my turn the driver greeted me and we made small talk as he checked my ticket number against what was on the clipboard. It seemed to take forever,  and even though I knew I had a ticket, I still worried that he wouldn’t let me on the bus for some reason.  With a nod he ticked off my ticket and asked me to climb aboard and take my seat as we were about to leave.

Walking down the narrow aisle of the bus,  I took a seat a few from the front.  Stowing my bag in the overhead compartment, I slid into the seat below me with my coffee and muffin and watched as the driver shut the luggage bay under the seating areas and locked it.  He blew his whistle for the final call, waited a few moments and seeing that no one was rushing toward the bus, he took the stairs and sat down.  The doors shut and the bus started up,  the engine causing the bus to vibrate. I took a sip of my coffee and the bus pulled out of the depot and on to the road that I had just walked down.  The bus, I knew would drive past the woods that I had just escaped and I knew that if I looked up through the woods, I would see the silhouette of the house where I had lived with Kevin for the last 2 years.   The bus took the road at a steady pace as as it took the curve,  the woods came into sight.  Feeling brave, I watched as the woods came closer and closer, my eyes watching the point I would see the house.  And there it was.  No longer dark, the lights blazed out of the windows.  He was awake.  He knew. 

I began to tremble,  terrified that any moment he would burst out of the woods and force the bus to stop.  But the woods began to thin and then became a row of houses and the bus began to pick up speed as we rushed toward the town limits.  

As I saw the sign saying “You are now leaving Portland come again soon,  I breathed a sigh of relief.  I had finally done it.  I had broken free!

[fragmentedfemme]

An English Werewolf in America: Chapter One

The forest was quiet, no birds chirped, no animals rustled through the undergrowth.  The only noise was the heavy breathing of my best friend Bridget as she lay in the tent, across from me fast asleep.  I had woken up by a branch breaking close by, my heart was racing, what if it was a bear? I began to breathe through my mouth, trying to keep as quiet as possible so I could hear anything outside. 

After a few minutes there was no more strange noises so I decided to peek out from inside the tent.  I clambered over to the door of the temt and tugged down the zipper.  The flap fell forward letting me see outside into the darkness of the night.  It was deathly quiet, it freaked me out. No way it should be this quiet, surely there should be some sort of noise?  Crickets, Owls, something?  

The clouds parted and the area in front of the tent brightened as the full moon shone down. Suddenly the air was filled by a bone chilling howl, I gasped then covered my mouth.  That sounded close,  too close.  I ducked my head back into the tent scrambling to zip back up the door.  I crab crawled backward into the tent accidentally bumping into Bridget, waking her up.  “Huhhhh….what’s going on Lia?”  She  blinked up at me sleepily and yawned.  “There is something out there Bridge...a wolf or something.”  No sooner had the words left my lips a huge shadow fell across the canvas.  Bridget started to say something and I slapped my hand across her mouth, silencing her,  but it was too late.  The beast outside howled again, a paw was raised and run lightly down the canvas on the side of the tent,  the nails slid through the canvas easy like a hot knife through butter.  The ribbons of material fluttered in a slight breeze that rushed through the trees. Bridget scrambled up into a sitting position and we both shuffled backwards into the corner of the tent.  A snuffling sound filled the air and an elongated snout poked it’s way through the gaping tear and into the tent itself. I pushed my wrist into my mouth and bit down onto my fist to keep myself from screaming,  Bridget made a whimpering noise and I sent my elbow into her side trying to encourage her to keep quiet.

Ever so slowly more of the snout became visible until the glowing red of it’s eyes shone through the gaps.  The eyes locked onto us and before I could do anything, Bridget screamed in horror as the beast opened it’s mouth,  saliva dripping from large canines.  Her scream was cut short as the beast burst into the tent, its jaw’s wrapping around Bridget’s ankle dragging her out into the dense forest,  her screams were shrill, filling the forest in every direction.

Tears filled my eyes and streaked down my cheeks as I heard tearing noises and agonising screams and choking noises before silence enveloped the forest once more.   This was my fault.  Bridget didn’t want to come to the States,  she definitely didn’t want to go camping with me but I begged her to come with me.  I needed to get away from my parents, my boyfriend Max and Bridget being the best thing in my life came with me to support me in trying to get my head clear and instead she was out there, probably dead. 

After about 10 minutes the beast hadn’t come back for me, I shuffled forward slowly toward the tear in the side of the tent.  I peered outside into the moonlit night and scanned the treeline.  Nothing moved, everything was still.  I backed off and crawled over to the door and slid down the zipper.  Everything remained quiet.  I grabbed my boots from beside the door and pulled them on tying them up.  I reached over for my pack and fished about inside until I found the map of the park we had taken with us, for safety purposes.  I was pretty sure there was a Ranger Station not too far from here and if I was lucky, I could make it there unscathed.

I stepped out of the tent and paused looking around cautiously.  Nothing.  By the light of the moon, I began to run west in the direction of the Ranger Station.  I hadn’t gotten far, the tent was still in sight, as I tripped over a log.  I reached out to brace my fall and fell face first into something hot and wet.  I scrambled up to my knees wiping my face as I went.  As I pulled my hands away from my face I realised they were covered in something red. Blood...lots of blood.  I looked down to where I had fallen and screamed.  There in front of me was Bridget,  well what was left of her.  Her left arm was missing, her face was torn open, bone was showing through the claw marks.  Her chest exposed, huge furrows ripped through her skin, her intestines steamed in the cold air.  Her eyes were open but unseeing.  “Bridge…?” I leaned over my best friend hoping she would answer,  but it was too late.  She was dead.

I got to my feet again and wiped my hands on my thermal pants and took a few steps back.  I froze in place as I heard a rustle of branches to my right.  My eyes darted in that direction and locked onto a pair of bright red orbits,  all that could be seen in the pitch of the trees.  I started to back off,  the beast stayed in place so I took the opportunity to run.  I bolted into the treeline,  the thunder of paws followed me,  I started screaming for help, hoping that for any reason someone else was out in the dark.  The noise of the beasts breathing got closer and closer until I felt a sharp pain in my calf,  searing pain travelled up my leg as I fell to the forest floor.  I turned onto my back and crawled backwards as the beast stalked slowly toward me.  As it came closer, I could see it looked like a wolf, a large one but in some ways it wasn’t like any wolf I had ever seen on any David Attenborough documentaries.  I heard myself pleading for my life as if this monster would ever understand what I was saying. It moved closer slowly inching up over my body until it’s fetid hot breath blew into my face, with a low growl it sank its teeth into my shoulder and started ripping into my flesh,  nails mauling at my arms and stomach.  As the pain filled my head, my vision began to darken. Just as I began to lose consciousness I heard sharp crack echoed through the trees and a whimper of pain before a heavy weight collapsed on my ripped and bleeding body.  Darkness  claimed me and as it did I prayed that I would see Bridget on the other side.

#ChaperOne #AnEnglishWerewolfinAmerica

[fragmentedfemme]

Vishous & Cassandra, pt 1

Vishous: Sat by the computers, which I lovingly nicknamed my four toys, bottle of goose and glass on the table and a roll up between my lips. Picking up the gold lighter, flipping open the top and rasped the wheel, sparks flew then the flame danced before my eyes. Lighting the tip of the roll up, inhaling deeply as the tip glowed red. Flipping the top back extinguishing the flame, taking the roll up between my fingers and exhaling the smoke. Monitoring the screens everything was quiet, it was my night off from rotation, my skin tightened needing a release, that reminds me I have to get one of my subs to the penthouse later for some action. Till then it would be smokes and Goose and watching these screens till I screamed from frustration.

Cassandra:

*My fingers danced over the keyboard as I typed up my latest report on a body found a few days ago.  I certainly had been busy since I had taken up my position as part of the Caldwell Police Department.  My eyes glanced up at the clock and I sighed deeply,  almost time to head out for the night.  I silently prayed that I would get away on time this evening,  but I was never that lucky.  And of course, my fear came true as a young Lab Technician peered around my office door* “Sorry Dr Scott, but another body has been found in an alley just off Trade Street.  You okay to check it out?  *I nodded and leaned over to shut my screen down and grabbed my coat* “Of course I am Jack,  can you text me the address?”  

I draped my jacket over my shoulders and fished out my car keys and head to the elevator, wondering just how long this latest case was going to keep me tonight*

Vishous: My eyes were nearly closed when the phone rang, letting it drop to voicemail. A desperate male was calling for the Brotherhood to find his missing son. He was due back a hour ago but hasn't appeared yet. Knowing males he be getting his cherry popped. Making a call back I reassured the male that I'll go out to look for his son starting at the clubs.

Finishing the call I went up to the mansion, telling Wrath where I was going “Hopefully we can find this male alive this time. We are always late in finding them, true?” Nodding in agreement to Wrath's statement “I'll kill all the lessers for harming civilians, feel me?” Before Wrath answered I went down the main staircase and out into the cool air, calming down I materialise down to Trade Street.

Cassandra:

*I arrived on the scene,  police cars everywhere their red and blues creating eeries shadows down the alley.  I got out of my car and went round to the trunk and popped it open.  Reaching in I grabbed my jumpsuit and boots.  Kicking off my heels I stepped into the protective oversuit and slid my feet into the boots,  topping off my outfit with my recording headset I closed the trunk and headed over to check out the taped off crime scene.

I stood at the police tape barrier and surveyed the scene.  With a smile and a slight wave to one of the uniform’s I recognised, I ducked under the tape and made my way over to the body.  At my approach the officer’s stepped back to let me get a closer look.  

I bent down next to the cadaver and ran my eyes over it,  I switched on my mic and started dictating my notes for later. “Male, Caucasian, Age approximately 25 to 30 years, height and weight to be determined.  Clear cause of death, blunt force trauma to the side of the head, causing massive internal hemorrhaging.”  *I leaned closer to the young man’s head as something gleaming in the light cast by streetlights.  “What the hell...It seems that the decedent has some sort of dental modifications.  Further investigation to be undertaken back at the lab”.  I reached out and lifted the upper lip revealing what could only be described as a set of fangs.  Well this should be interesting!*

I stood up and waved at the tech standing next to the private ambulance indicating I was ready for him to be transported.  Once I was sure he got what I wanted I hurried back to the car, eager to get back to the Lab and get started on the autopsy*

Vishous: My molecules arranged themselves into my form in the alleyway. There was a commotion not so far away, the boys in blue had taped off the area. I had to get higher up to see what was going on. Materialising to the top of the building next to where the police activity was. Looking over the edge a male was laying in the alleyway, he had suit pants on and a crisp white shirt. He obviously had visited the clubs, on exiting he was attacked. But from this angle I couldn't see if he was vampire or not.

A car approached, the female who got out was slim, her suit trousers hugged her body in the right places, o the things I could do to her but for now I had to focus on the job at hand. Palming the bulge in my leathers, that had to wait for later. The female had put on a forensic suit and boots, my cock had become even bigger. Fuck she was sexy in that get up. God she could explore my body in that. Focus you idiot.

Watching her bend over the body to do her examination of the body, everything was normal till she lifted the male's top lip up revealing a set of fangs. I wonder if this was the male I was looking for, fucking lessers are going to pay for this yet another senseless civilian death. Before I could act the male’s body was put onto a stretcher and put into an ambulance. Before I could follow I had to scrub the humans memories of the body. Quickly getting to work scrubbing the policemen minds, putting in place that the body was human. Looking for the female I saw her getting into a car, trailing it back to a high tech facility.

Cassandra:

*I hurried almost excitedly down the hallway to the locker room to change into a clean forensic suit.  I pushed open the door to the locker room and turned on the lights,  being the only female in the pathology team, I always had the place to myself.  I strode over to my locker and typed in my combination into the keypad.  The door sprang open and I removed my watch and bracelet, storing them inside.  I stepped out of my heels and slide them to the side, reaching up I unfastened my suit trousers and dropped them to the floor, stepping out of them as soon as they hit the ground. Bending over I grabbed both the trousers and the shoes at the same time and set them on the shelf in the locker.  I reached down and unbuttoned my blouse and wriggled out of it,  stowing it away on a hanger.  The tiled floor felt icy to my feet and I danced from one foot to the other over to the vanity unit next to the mirror where my brush and other beauty items were stored.  I grabbed the brush and ran it over my auburn locks and fished a hair tie from the counter and pulled my hair back into a high ponytail.  I stood for a moment admiring my reflection as I stood there in my white lace balcony bra and matching underwear.  

Almost forgetting that I had a job to do I hurried over to the hanging forensic suits and grabbed one from the rail and wiggled my way into it,  its fabric caressing my skin like a glove.  I slid my feet into my heavy boots and zipped up my suit making my way over to the interconnecting door between the locker room and the pathologist suit.

Vishous: Arriving at the building of the high tech lab, I materialised onto the roof. Closing my eyes I scanned how many humans were inside, there was only the female I could sense. Peering into a skylight I saw her, she stripped out of her clothes to her underwear. Fuck she was beautiful, my cock once again strained the zipper of my leathers. She brushed her hair and then got into a forensic suit and boots.

Letting out a breath which I didn't know I was holding I went down to the main doors, looking at the security system. It was a simple set up which took me two seconds to disarm. Creeping in I kept low and quiet, before me up some steps the body of the male was laid out on a examination table. Looking both ways no one was about.

Climbing up the steps quietly there was a card reader to gain entry, disarming it was easy, I stood by the body, searching for any ID on him. Finding his ID card that was written in the old language it was the male I had been looking for. I hated this part of my job, telling families their loved ones won't be coming home. I scooped the male into my “What are you doing with my body?” Turning towards the voice, it was the female who I had been spying on from the skylight. Fuck I'd been caught!

[fragmentedfemme]

[fragmentedfemme]

It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t come back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain.

Henry Rollins, The Portable Henry Rollins (via 13neighbors)

[fragmentedfemme]

@AlphaByDefault

[fragmentedfemme]

@AlphaByDefault

[fragmentedfemme]

@PAWesomeRebel - WE WANTS ONE!!

[fragmentedfemme]

[fragmentedfemme]

[fragmentedfemme]

@AlphaByDefault

[fragmentedfemme]

[fragmentedfemme]

@AlphaByDefault

[fragmentedfemme]

If you want her, show her. If you need her, tell her. If you have her, flaunt her. If she's worth it, fight for her.

[fragmentedfemme]

[fragmentedfemme]

[fragmentedfemme]