freddieofhearts

[freddieofhearts]

Hello darlings! In reference to the Freddie Mercury Weekend, I’d like to extend a hand to any newcomers who might like to participate or indeed begin writing for Queen fandom beyond the event. If you have a tumblr account, please DM me and I can walk you through starting an AO3 account, or if you’re not on tumblr, you can contact me via email: aboutnothingnesswrites@gmail.com. I have a few invites to AO3, but otherwise please take into consideration the two week waiting period to obtain an account.

Now, I know writing for a new fandom can be slightly intimidating—but do not fear! If you’re worried about presenting your writing please feel free to reach out to me about beta reading your work, I would be very happy to do so.

Additional note: some sectors of the fandom outside of tumblr have voiced feeling left out. The entire reason I’m writing this post is to ensure this is not the case. We need more creators in this fandom, we need more viewpoints. So, I encourage you to contact me—I’m very friendly, promise—and I’ll assist you in any way I can. 💖

[freddieofhearts]

Get out your glitter leotards and pour some champagne in your cat mugs! 🥂 🍾 It’s time to celebrate Freddie! 🎉😸

🎊 Freddie Mercury Weekend 2021 🎊

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

ABOUT THE EVENT

This weekend is a content creation event in honour of the man himself, the legend we all love, Freddie Mercury! Once more, everyone who is inspired by Freddie is invited to share their creativity with the fandom. You can write, draw, edit, record, even cross-stitch 😉 content for absolutely anything related to Freddie, any ship, any genre, any way you like. This is an indiscriminately inclusive, positive event. Everyone is welcome, there is no wrong way to be a fan of Freddie! (Except convincing yourself you’re dating his ghost maybe. That’s pretty wrong. And weird. Don’t do that.)

WHEN? On the 21st, 22nd and 23rd of May.

HOW? On the above dates (or after!), post your contributions to the AO3 collection or alternatively on Tumblr, tagged ‘#fmw2021’ or/and ‘#freddie mercury weekend 2021’. If you post on Tumblr, please also tag @a-froger-epic to make sure you get a reblog from me!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

THE PROMPTS

You can be as free with the prompts as you like. They are here to inspire, there is no wrong way to write them! Change them around, mix them up, make them fem!Freddie, A/B/O, add your favourite ship. Anything goes! 😊

21st of May - 500-1000 word challenge!

We’re kicking off the event with ficlets and drabbles. First time writer just testing the waters? No need for an epic, just write a scene! No time to write but you want to participate? Surely you’ll find time for 500 words! 😉 Interpret these mini-prompts however you like (every one is a separate prompt, but you can combine them!):

Make-Up 💄   |   Pain/Pleasure 👀

Strip 👕   |   Ring 💍

Forbidden 🤫   |   Delilah 🐈

Piano 🎹   |   Dormitory 🛏 

Outrageous 🎉   |   Contentment 😌

Come Together 🎇   |   Ballet 🩰

Piece of Art 🎨   |   Leather 🧥

Cockring 🐔   |   Kimono 👘

Petals 🌸   |   Leotard 🕺🏻

Mustache 🧔   |   Last Time 😔

22nd of May - Is This The Real Life? 

A list of real event/canon timeline prompts from Freddie’s life. How real you want to keep them, however, is entirely up to you!

Down in flames

Freddie is 16 years old when he leaves boarding school. Does it have something to do with the school gardener, Sanjay? Did he flunk his exams or did he not even sit them? Is one thing connected to the other? Does he really find a boyfriend when he goes to stay with his aunt in Mumbai (then Bombay)? Either way, there’s the small matter of his parents finding out about all of it… (Sources: x x )

When Freddie met Kenny

Freddie is a guest on Kenny Everett’s radio show in spring 1974. Freddie is living with Mary, Kenny is married. Two gay men, deep in the closet. To no one’s surprise, they hit it off immediately. (Source: x )

But when did he? 

At some point during his relationship with Mary, prior to his relationship with David, Freddie had already begun sleeping with men. But how and when did that first happen? Cottaging in London? On tour somewhere in the world? Your guess is as good as ours… 

Flying High

Sex, Drugs and Rock n’ Roll. Like all rock bands of their time, Queen doesn’t escape the copious amounts of cocaine in the entertainment industry for long. Somewhere on tour in America, perhaps, Freddie is first introduced to it. Where? How? 

Hide your tears

Jim said that he tried to be strong for Freddie and only cried in private, so as not to burden Freddie with his feelings. But this time, he is found. 

One-liners:

In 1969, Freddie doesn’t know how to cook an egg and neither does Roger (Source: x )

In 1977, Freddie meets Joe while on tour in Boston and starts dating him behind David’s back

In 1990, Brian and Freddie work on ‘The Show Must Go On’ (Source: x )

In a year of your choice, Jim reminisces about his fondest moment(s) with Freddie

In 1976, Freddie and Mary end their relationship 

In 1984, Winnie gives Freddie a wedding ring (middle of the post: x )

In the late 60s, Freddie agrees to model for an Ealing Art School fashion show, but panics and flees the runway (Source: x )

In 1974, Freddie is strip-searched upon arrival in Australia (Source: x )

In 1982, Freddie and Roger go shopping in Amsterdam (Source: x )

In 1978, Freddie swings from a chandelier - naked (Source: x )

23rd of May - Is It Just Fantasy?

A list of AU prompts to spark your imagination. Take them and run with them or change them up, just have fun!

Make your dreams come true

Freddie hasn’t been very fortunate in his life, until he finds a very special oil lamp, and rubs it just the right way. 

Beautiful stranger

Freddie meets an alluring stranger at a masquerade ball, who has more secrets than he can hide behind a mask. But Freddie has some of his own. 

Thicker than water 

Freddie agrees to a dreadful fate in order to save his little sister from the very same. Fortunately, he has friends who are more than willing to help him, but can they? Or are they, too, in danger?

Diamonds are a boy’s best friend

Freddie is the prized jewel of the court, a skilled belly-dancer and entertainer, but he may also be plotting murder and getting away with it. 

Almost Real

In a distant future, humans have all but done away with face to face interaction. Humanity largely lives online. Children grow up isolated and live with only their families well into young adulthood. Cybersex is the new normal, although some families take a puritanical approach for fear of addiction. One day, impossibly, a real life young man falls through the containment field in Freddie’s back garden. 

One-liners:

This plane is going to crash (Freddie knew there was a reason he hated flying) 

Shipwrecked on an island (Freddie could never bear to be alone, but luckily/unfortunately for him…) 

Hunger Games AU (Freddie is so dead) 

A terrible road accident (Everyone is so dead, or are they?) 

Blind Date AU (Freddie’s best friend is so dead for setting him up with this person… or are they…) 

Bank robbery (but who are the robbers and who are the hostages?) 

Magic AU (“Yer a wizard, Freddie!”)

Film Noir AU (Secrets and cigarette holders) 

Interior Design AU (Does the carpet match the drapes?)

The Bodyguard AU (“And I will always love yooouuuu…”)

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

RULES & FAQ

⛔ Strictly No Hate ⛔

This is the NUMBER ONE RULE of the event, to ensure that everybody feels safe. No rudeness, provocations or hate aimed at creators or other commenters will be permitted, not on AO3 nor Tumblr.

Follow these steps if you receive a comment or ask that distresses you:

Do not engage. (You can take a screenshot as proof.)

Delete it. No ifs, no buts. Just delete it. (Don’t hesitate to block anon hate on Tumblr.)

Alert me ( @a-froger-epic ) or @aboutnothingness, who is lending me a hand to make sure all needs are attended, all questions are answered and everything runs smoothly. We are here to actively support you. We’ve got your back, and we will gladly talk to you and help you feel better.

If you choose to ignore this rule, your work may be removed from the event. We would hate to resort to that.

But what if one of the works has upset me?

Can the thing that upset you be tagged, but it wasn’t? Then please inform @a-froger-epic or @aboutnothingness, and we will bring it to the creator’s attention. (Remember to use the appropriate tags, everybody!)

Was the thing that upset you already tagged? Or is it perhaps simply the characterisation you find disagreeable? Then we suggest you click on the ‘back’ button, take a deep breath and remind yourself it’s just fanfic.

Who can participate?

Anyone who is inspired by Freddie Mercury in any way shape or form. This event is open to all.

Can I combine prompts from different days?

By all means! We look forward to your futuristic Freddie-gets-kicked-out-of-boarding-school Maycury Film Noir AU. With leotards. Go crazy.

I’m not sure where my creation fits in, what day do I post it? 

The days, like the prompts, are only suggestions. We don’t mind when you post it, as long as you post it! Even if it’s two weeks late! 

Help, I’ve never posted fic before! 

Don’t worry, we’ve got you! (And more importantly, we’ve got AO3 invites!) @aboutnothingness is more than happy to walk you through the process of setting up an account and is also offering her services as a beta.

I’m still too nervous to participate!

You can post anonymously to the collection. You can disable anon comments on your work. You can disable comments entirely and just collect the kudos. You can close anon asks on Tumblr temporarily. But most importantly, we are here for you and we want you here!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

“I love the fact that I make people happy, in any form. Even if it’s just half an hour of their lives, in any way that I can make them feel lucky or make them feel good, or bring a smile to a sour face, that to me is worthwhile.”

- Freddie Mercury

[freddieofhearts]

😉

So who’s she attecking then because it is trauma authors like you and foh. Shr never supported foh who got bulllied outa the fandom and now claimng she gets picked on

She’s not attacking anyone. You, anons, are saying she attacked someone. But she has not—I assure you.

And, for the record, it was largely anons who bullied FoH out of the fandom—haven’t you got that message yet? Ana supported her. Don’t make baseless accusations, honey. It’ll get you no where but having your words fall on deaf ears.

[freddieofhearts]

This is exquisite, thank you again ❤️

petal

Phoebe arrives, as always, to help.

For a dear friend.

Go to AO3!

[freddieofhearts]

Bye bye, dears (for now!)

I know there have been a lot of rumours and some posts about me leaving, so here I am to set the record straight and say a quick ‘au revoir’. This post is long, and I don’t expect everyone to read the whole thing—if you just want information on how to keep in touch, or about access to my removed fics, scroll to the bottom. ⬇️

*

Why are you leaving?

Firstly, of course I’m not leaving Freddie. This is just an ongoing hiatus from the social side of fandom, because while I have some incredible friends here, who have done all they can to support me and have made this experience wonderful in lots of ways—it’s also true that the social space has become more and more toxic for me.

I get a wild amount of hate. Despite never having my ask box enabled on here, people create new accounts just to message me and tell me all the problems in this fandom are my fault, that I’m faking being sick, that I should kill myself, that I’m fat, etc. I also very regularly get hateful comments on AO3.

Obviously I realise that I’m not the only one who receives these cruel attacks, but it’s become increasingly hard to handle them—especially as some people (‘real’ accounts, not faceless anons) do continue to blame me for wider problems in the fandom. It makes me feel consistently sad, anxious, and paranoid, so that I can’t focus on anything Queen-related that I enjoy.

More pressingly, it’s affected my mental health, which is—imperfect at the best of times. As I’ve occasionally alluded to in older posts on this blog, I have a history of anorexia, OCD, PTSD, and some other overlapping issues. Most people who know me in the fandom are also aware that I’m ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’ to Covid-19, significantly immunocompromised, and have been isolating at home for eleven months.

The combination of all of these things + the constant toxic messages has really been triggering me, and leading to an uptick in disordered behaviours, which my body cannot sustain. Every new instance of hate from an anon—every time there’s another indication of groups in the fandom wanting to ostracise me further—my reaction is deeply self-punitive and unhealthy. Ultimately I need to be out of this environment for, at least, a protracted period. My therapist, my partner and my close friends in the fandom support this decision.

*

So, what went wrong?

In 2019, I expected to be an absolutely tiny blog in the Queen Tumblr landscape. The fandom was already well-established, and I have never worked to ‘build a following’ on here—I think I’ve linked my own fic a maximum of three or four times!—in fact, more or less the opposite. As I mentioned above: ya girl is nutty as a fruitcake. As a result, I often avoid extremely niche things in daily life which cause severe anxiety for me, Relevant examples here: I never look at my timeline. I never intentionally look at my follower number. Yup, it’s strange, I fully admit it, but it’s best for me to go with these things—usually. In Queen fandom, however, this avoidance both of analytic stats and of most direct engagement led to some problems... My followers grew without me realising, and way more people were reading my blog than I was aware of. I was still in a—“Wow, this fandom is very frustrating, and rife with ableism, racism, etc., so how do we fix this???”—mindset, and I wanted to share my opinions, sure! but I also thought I was sharing them with 15-20 like-minded people.

Now, intent is not impact, and I recognise that I was brusque, didn’t phrase things particularly sensitively, and absolutely did hurt some people by criticising the fandom so freely. I still regret this—and I regret just as much the fact that some assholes have used my criticising the fandom on my own blog as implicit justification for attacking authors. I have said on here many times that I don’t condone that behaviour—but I also think there’s some truth in the presumption that these anonymous malcontents felt my critiques somehow ‘permitted’ them to engage in abuse. For the first few months, though, I genuinely had no idea there was a link at all—and so I was initially slow to condemn this abusive behaviour in public, because I was taking it for granted all authors agreed it was shitty. It took someone directly telling me (shoutout to @a-froger-epic) that people had identified a connection between my posts and the anons, before everything fell into place.

I would like to offer my apologies to the fandom at large for not being more quick on the uptake about this, because I feel that had I realised sooner that these people were taking ‘inspiration’ in some way from me, it might have been easier to put a stop to it. It does seem that there is still a lot of confusion about whether I support them and which of their views I agree with. Let’s be 100% clear on this: I do not support the anonymous commenters on AO3. At times there is some, limited overlap between parts of their views and parts of mine, but even that is less than you may think—I often see anonymous comments from so-called ‘Freddie fans’ that I substantially disagree with.

Perhaps even more importantly: I do not support anyone who sends anonymous hate on Tumblr.

*

What’s all this about ‘overlap’ with the anons?

Let’s do a mini-summary of the myths vs. the truth. There are views I hold which are genuinely unpopular in the fandom—but which I own up to completely, and have never tried to hide in any way. I’ve never needed to use anonymous to share my opinions because I’m completely open about them! What people who don’t know me tend to have ‘heard’ about me, though, is usually a drastic distortion of my real opinions.

What people think I think:

- Freddie should never top.

- It’s okay to send anon hate if someone writes Freddie ‘wrong’.

- It’s more important to correct ‘wrong’ portrayals than to respect other writers.

- It’s inherently wrong to be more interested in band pairings than canon pairings.

- Freddie should be overtly written as a r*pe survivor/victim (and not doing this is wrong).

- Freddie should be overtly written as having an eating disorder (and not doing this is wrong).

- Kink fics are wrong.

What I actually think:

- I believe Freddie did have a strongly defined sexual identity with marked preferences, but I don’t think Jim Hutton lied when he said that Freddie topped. I believe Freddie did top, but this isn’t the time or place to get into my thoughts on why/when/how much. I do believe that my analysis of the sources relevant to this subject is as historically accurate as one can reasonably be in matters of sex (where historical accuracy will always be particularly limited and imperfect)—but I don’t think it’s morally wrong to write Freddie as topping more than he probably did.

- I don’t believe there’s only one ‘right’ version of Freddie (all others being ‘wrong’). I do believe it is possible to be more right or less right—but I’m also conscious of the fact that this scale of value is not one by which everyone measures fanfiction. As a result, then, I don’t think that any perceptions surrounding ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ justify sending anonymous, non-constructive criticism, or outright hate.

- I do believe constructive criticism is a good thing. I welcome and appreciate it myself; I have received it on my fics in Queen fandom, and it has made them better. I have been in writing workshops which included very forceful criticisms, and the value of such feedback has been intimately and immediately part of my life as a writer for years. However: in this case, I have accepted that my opinion differs from the general community preference, and so I no longer offer any constructive criticism (outside private beta-reading). I haven’t changed my view, but I’ve changed my practice to align with community norms.

- I do not think any single, individual writer has a personal responsibility to write about Freddie Mercury in any given way. That ranges from including the more distressing topics to which I’ve devoted attention (such as trauma)—to concentrating on ‘canon’ pairings like Jimercury—to, even, focusing on Freddie at all.

“Now, that doesn’t sound like you, @freddieofhearts,” you might be thinking. And I know it doesn’t; I think something I’ve done a poor job of articulating is the difference between how I view each individual fan—namely, as free to shape their creative experience at will, even in ways that I might find distressing or offensive; even in ways that you might find distressing or offensive—and the way I view the Collective. I think people have interpreted some of my critiques of ‘Queen Fandom’ as meaning something like: “You-in-particular, a specific Queen fan, are doing it wrong and should change everything about how you do it; also you don’t really care about Freddie.”

And—that’s not it. What any given fan, as an individual, does, isn’t a problem. And that can be true alongside—concurrently with—a multivalent critique of how the fandom is lacking in representation of Freddie’s life, with all that that (wonderful, deservedly celebrated, but also profoundly traumatic) life entailed. I still hold that view; I still have myriad problems with ‘the fandom’ (structurally, collectively, historically and presently—from the 1990s to the 2020s). Some of what I want to work on (away from the social life of fandom) is expressing those critiques with greater nuance, in ways that can’t be misinterpreted as shading any particular fanfiction author or subgenre of story.

In brief: I haven’t changed my mind, but I think Tumblr is an untenable environment in which to discuss the things I want to analyse, especially as there is an ever-present danger of hurting someone.

*

Can we keep in touch? Where is the fic?

I will drop by this account periodically to check out posts that friends have sent me, so you can always sent me a private message to ask for my contact details on the other app that I’m using now for fandom friends. Multiple Freddie conversations and projects are going on over there, off-Tumblr, with a much ‘gentler’ environment and no bad actors—I personally love it!

All my fic has been downloaded and saved. I don’t want to deal with constant harassment on AO3, but I’m happy to share a copy with anyone who missed it and wants to read/re-read something. I also saved everyone’s lovely comments and thoughtful con-crit, so none of that has been lost or erased.

Thank you to everyone who welcomed me to the fandom, made me think, taught me, shared with me, sent me into fits of the giggles, collaborated with me creatively, and otherwise made this one hell of a ride! Love you all. ❤️

[freddieofhearts]

Just a quick heads up - going to be taking my fic (excepting collabs) off ao3 over the next couple of days; if you want a personal copy of your favourite, please save it now!

[freddieofhearts]

[freddieofhearts]

Guess who has to do a sixth-month treatment plan for recurring opportunistic infections?

[freddieofhearts]

If you read anything this month or even this year, read my fandom daughter’s fic, please. It’s a jewel.

And Then –

Chapter One

The note soars—hopeful turned mournful. A dove spanning the sky. There are no lyrics, there’s nothing left to say. Listen to my heart, I bled the notes, this is dangerous love. This is what happens, beware: heartbreak, redemption, heartbreak. Exercises in free love.

A story of love and Freddie’s last years.

[freddieofhearts]

I do appreciate you taking time to engage with my perspective!

When it comes to what you’ve added here, I think what jumps out at me is that you’re describing yourself as a fictional ship-dominated blog (and Quirky by extension), but at other times you’ve mentioned being very interested in and focused on the real Freddie; being devoted to portraying the most realistic portrayal possible; feeling very engaged with sources, etc.—to my mind, it’s a bit of a ‘can’t have it both ways’ thing. Either a blog is ship-centric, and written for fun, and ultimately about romance—and thus admittedly distorts reality—or it is reality-centric, even with a preferred ship being also present. It’s slippage between these two positions that can become foggy!

I think this sounds like critique but I genuinely don’t mean it that way; I’m just interested in the different guiding principles and ideologies that are shaping everyone’s diverse approaches here! Of course I don’t think it’s wrong, at all, to have a favourite ship—I just want to be 100% clear about that in case I haven’t been. 🥰

somewhat related (maybe?) but I swear I remember reading somewhere that Roger said Freddie would flirt with him. Which seems kind of believable, if you ask me 😝 (considering Freddie was very flirty in general)

Well, as you said, Freddie liked to be flirty, so whether Roger actually said it like that or not, it makes a lot if sense to me. And also that Roger liked to flirt back in the same playful spirit. I mean, just look at the Radio Ga Ga making of, or the Japan fan greetings video.

But as there are so many fake or misleading stories and ‘quotes’ floating about, I’ll stay on the fence until I see a source. But yeah, it doesn’t sound too unlikely.

[freddieofhearts]

[freddieofhearts]

Sorry I’ve been so awful at posting here - usual issue, my health has been incredibly poor lately. I know I haven’t been contributing my usual Freddie-centric perspective and I regret that. Watch this space! 😉

(eta: Coronavirus update... we’re in ‘within-the-house bubbles’ again btw. I’m in the highest priority young group for the vaccine, but delayed by not being well enough to go out and get it! The home vaccinators are understandably a little slow.)

[freddieofhearts]

Fantastic sentiment and very well put. It’s sad to see how the facts of Freddie’s life are more and more diminished and degraded by a fandom that ought—if there’s any justice—to lift him up and remember him with honesty and love.

His whole life is important. His birth. His death. His loves. His work. His mind. His heart. His illness. His power. His genius. His courage.

Freddie Mercury is so much more than the cliché-ridden sex toy served up again and again by ‘Queen fandom’.

Is this the real life?

There is a line—quite a clear one, in fact—between real life happenings and story telling. Especially here, especially in RPF fandom (an incredibly delicate one, no less—don’t forget the true history of the situation we’re writing about here), because honestly, not distinguishing the line between your own ideas and facts is incredibly harmful. It’s harmful to the real life narrative—the little that we do know. Maybe I’m in the minority here, but that ought to be preserved and worked with—not cast aside or sieved through your personal outlook for the benefit of only your story and your easier-to-swallow interpretation. Pay attention to what you’re saying, what you’re really saying, and try to distinguish fact from fiction. This isn’t hard, it’s just that your pretty story is easier to choose than the real one. Don’t do that, please. The trickle down is painful to watch—find out who your character is and who the real person you’re writing about is. There’s an apparent distinction, but they’re getting mixed up.

tldr; shipping goggles don’t apply to facts or supposed events but they’re being used and it’s endangering the true bits of information we do have (and it’s insensitive to the history we’re supposedly honouring)

[freddieofhearts]

(×)

[freddieofhearts]

That makes a lot of sense! I love his relationship with the Mack family. Freddie seems to have had a strong and genuine affinity with things of childhood—things he didn’t get to experience for long as a child himself.

Freddie is holding a lullaby light show toy, why is this man so soft

[freddieofhearts]

I am having a particularly dramatic time with ill health right now, so I thought I’d post a little update and also apologise for not replying to tags and messages. I truly don’t intend to be rude; I’m so sorry if it seems that way. I do love it when you guys send me things & include me. 💖 My apologies if I’ve seemed distant!

Last Sunday things deteriorated for me, medically, and since then there have been some re-stabilisations but then also, further periods of deterioration. I’ve been having a high level of treatment at home (subcutaneous & intramuscular injections; home oxygen; steroids) for all the sequelae that have been happening, & overall I am just ~struggling~ at the moment, we aren’t totally sure why. It’s important to stay out of hospital if at all possible because the Covid risk is so severe here in the UK.

Over Christmas things were a bit better (yay!) & I also started writing a fic, which at the time I posted anonymously—because as you guys know, I get a lot of targeted anon hate, and I didn’t want to receive that during the festive season. I was originally planning to complete this piece before ‘de-anon-ing’, but right now (1) I’m too unwell to write & (2) we’re firmly in the New Year, so I figure there’s no harm in admitting I’m the author, haha. If I get more hate I’ll just have to delete it. Please read if you have the chance; I’d really love to know what you think of it! 🥰

[freddieofhearts]

Freddie is holding a lullaby light show toy, why is this man so soft