free-words-from-kristie-blog

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Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.

Maya Angelou (via bookish-soul)

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Heroes aren’t always the ones who win. They’re the ones who lose, sometimes. But they keep fighting, they keep coming back. They don’t give up. That’s what makes them heroes.

- Clary Fray, “The mortal instruments” by Cassandra Clare (via veronika118)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

I’ve become friends with Anxiety

After spending my whole life with social anxiety, which was diagnosed when I was seven, I decided enough was enough. I wouldn’t tolerate his antics anymore. I wouldn’t let him scare me from going out and experience life the way it’s supposed to be experienced. 

A year or two ago, I got this crazy idea to give my anxiety a face. I conjured him up in my mind and shaped him to a T, with a nose, two eyes and a mouth, so he could talk to me. I wanted to know why he insisted on making my life so difficult. Two ears were in order as well, because I was going to give him a piece of my mind. 

When I started picturing his body, I thought he would look like a gaunt, skeleton-like figure, dark and ominous. Except… he seemed fit, dressed in beautiful embroidered robes, and a warm light shone from his eyes. A pleasant surprise.

The first time we spoke, he made it clear he wasn’t trying to ruin my life. In fact, he just wanted to protect me. People hurt, whether intentionally or not, he said. He’s been with me ever since I was born and he’s grown to love me. And I’m stubborn. I don’t listen to the subtle pang of panic within my stomach when I have to go to school, or work, or go out with friends, anymore. So, sometimes, he has to resort to drastic measures, whispering carefully chosen words to instill a fear within me and wipes away all rationality, until I completely break down and convince myself that I absolutely. can’t. go. out. today! Because… there are people outside… 

Anxiety – which I found a fitting name for him – was horrified when I told him I understood his intentions came from the good of his heart but that it wasn’t helping me in any way, that it just made me hate myself and my life. He apologised, I accepted. 

He never hides in the shadows anymore but shows himself to me, watching with barely restrained curiosity as I go about my day. When I slip on my shoes, I hear his breath hitch and I smile. It’s okay, I say as I turn to him. He nods, eyes cast to the floor. 

I’ve never asked him to leave me; I know that’s not an option. He’s a part of me, and I’ve made peace with the fact that he always will be, no matter how many therapy sessions I attend. But I won’t let him control my life anymore. After all, you’re allowed to call your friends out on their bullshit. 

A/N: I’m not trying to romanticize mental illness or make a joke out of it. This is just my own experience with social anxiety, and using my imagination has always helped me cope with difficulties. 

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

I do not want a world where I am wingless, crawling in the mud rather than reaching for the stars.

Cressida Cowell  (via hairyhooligan)

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I hate what is expected of me I hate what society thinks I should be I hate explaining me I just want to be

t.m. (via tmpoem)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

Bookshops are dreams built of wood and paper. They are time travel and escape and knowledge and power. They are, simply put, the best of places.

Jen Campbell (via mellifluousbookshelf)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

I think everything in life is art. What you do. How you dress. The way you love someone, and how you talk. Your smile and your personality. What you believe in, and all your dreams. The way you drink your tea. How you decorate your home. Or party. Your grocery list. The food you make. How your writing looks. And the way you feel. Life is art.

Helena Bonham Carter (via lazypacific)

Love this woman and her view on life. 💖 

(via whatbooksaremadeof)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

Light is loved most Within Darkness.

~deAngelo // but even this will fade.

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You can always see the stars, but it takes a skilled eye to point out the constellations. You are a part of something beautiful, a constellation of your own life. Just because you can’t string together the rest now doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

g.e. // January 18th (via writesnsuch)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

You’re not on my mind at every second. Your name doesn’t live on the tip of my tongue. No, you’ve lodged yourself into my heart, and you’re running through my veins.

g.e. // February 5th (via writesnsuch)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

Even if I could paint like Van Gogh, play like Beethoven, or write like Dickinson, I’d never be able to capture the way you inspire me.

g.e. // February 9th (via writesnsuch)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

Your every move is poetry to me. Oceans live in your eyes and sunshine in your smile. Oh, what I’d do to perfectly capture you on paper.

g.e. // February 13th (via writesnsuch)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

If I were to review Disney movies and fairytales based on accuracy, I’d say this; Love is not always as easy as falling into bed. Sometimes you land somewhere harder and sometimes you land alone, even if you knew they were falling too. Heartbreak, though, these creators got right. It is debilitating, earth-shattering. It uproots your certainty in people, in your future. Most importantly, they were right about one last thing. Both love and heartbreak are important to life. They are meant to keep the other in check. You find who you are with and without another person, and you always, always can find happiness again.

g.e. // February 18th (via writesnsuch)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

I’m stupid in love. The kind that makes you grin so much your cheeks hurt, the kind that makes your face glow red and your body burn hot. I’m stupid in love with you.

g.e. // March 5th (via writesnsuch)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

Everyone you love is different, so shouldn’t the love be different, too? Don’t beat yourself up because you feel you can’t love someone the way you loved before, everything is different. That’s the beauty of it.

g.e. // March 6th (via writesnsuch)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

Let’s play house together, like we used to when we were young. We’ll find a dinky little apartment and we’ll cook dinner together and forget to eat it because we’re too busy kissing. Let’s pretend that we’ll last forever.

g.e. // March 7th (via writesnsuch)

[free-words-from-kristie-blog]

To have the soul of a writer is much like being intoxicated. The swollen air and watery trees make a beautiful scene only the drunk and creative can paint.

g.e. // March 12th (via writesnsuch)