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freesiriusblack · 9 months

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Keep You Off My Mind

pairing(s): Ominis Gaunt x f!MC, Sebastian Sallow x f!MC (M/F Pairing)

themes: Body horror. Angst. Smut. Hurt/Comfort except the comfort isn't really comforting. Unrequited love. This one goes out to my horny and sad homies.

warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. Smut. All characters aged up. Horror. Insects. Graphic nightmare (skip past the italicized text if you don't want to read this part). unprotected and passionate p in v. MC lowkey toxic. Sebastian in Azkaban.

summary: 4.2k words. It has been five years since Sebastian Sallow was sentenced to life in Azkaban. You have moved into a shared flat with Ominis Gaunt, who rescues you from a horrific nightmare one night. In your shared guilt, you find comfort in each other.

note: I wanted to post this before Halloween but then I didn't finish it oops. So here, have it in the new year. I've never really written anything horror-esque before so I wanted to give it a shot. I actually had a nightmare almost exactly like the one MC has, it was whack. Anyways, I hope you enjoy. If you're new here my toxic trait is not proof-reading. I'm so sorry Sebastian, I'll write something happy for you I swear.

You walk through the Viaduct Courtyard with Ominis. He’s speaking to you, but you can’t hear what he’s saying. It’s a muffled sound coming from his mouth, as though he’s got cotton in his mouth. You turn to look at Ominis, and he stops walking. He looks at you, his eyes a bright piercing blue. Gone is the cloudiness you’ve become accustomed to. His lips spread into a smile that is too wide for his face, his cheeks and eyes crinkling and warping. You take a step back, opening your mouth to ask him what’s wrong. All that comes out is a long, drawn out groan. You can’t speak. You look to your left, seeking someone who can help. You are alone in the courtyard with only Ominis, there is not a trace of life anywhere. You look back to him and see Sebastian there instead, still with those bright blue eyes and that horrifying smile. Dread coiled in your chest as the freckles that dotted his skin darkened and split open into countless little holes. You were frozen in place, as his warped lips quivered and those eyes stared into your very soul and the skin on his face began to wriggle. Small bugs push their way out of his skin, slender and brown with pincers on their back end. They come out of every hole, every freckle, crawling around on his skin and then digging their way back into his flesh while Sebastian smiles that too-wide grin. You’re screaming now, but no sound comes out. You reach for your wand, every instinct in your body screaming at you to defend yourself as Sebastian starts moving towards you. Taking steps backwards you hold up your wand. Your lips form the word ‘depulso’ to knock him back, but the words ‘avada kedavra!’ come out of your mouth instead. With a great flash of green, Sebastian falls back on the ground and dissolves into a wriggling pile of thousands of earwigs. Realization of what you’ve just done hits you in the gut, and you’re screaming again - this time that muffled moan coming from your lips. The earwigs scatter, crawling over everything nearby. You look around for help, you need help, where the bloody hell are all of the professors? Where is Ominis?

“What have you done?!” Ominis screams, he’s there then kneeling in the pile of earwigs scooping them up by the handful as though he can put Sebastian together again. He’s screaming your name over and over again, the insects falling through his fingers into his lap. They’re crawling all over him and burrowing into his skin, and you’re still screaming. Tears roll down your cheeks as you’re frozen there unable to move. It feels like your feet are sinking into the ground. The swarm of earwigs on the ground begin to crawl to crawl towards you, and you fight to get away but your feet just sink deeper and deeper into the ground.

***

You awoke with a loud gasp, sitting upright and looking around the darkness of your bedroom wildly. The shadows seemed to shift and grow under your gaze, your nightmare holding onto your sleep-addled mind tight. Your heart thudded painfully, your hand coming to your chest as though you could hold your heart in place. With every frantic, gasping breath that escaped your lips you returned to reality a little more.

Reality was not much of a comfort. As the terror of your dream faded, that familiar gut-wrenching guilt settled in. The last you had heard Sebastian Sallow was still very much alive, although you couldn’t bear to think about the life he was living. Of the life you had deprived him of. Today was the fifth anniversary of Sebastian’s sentencing to Azkaban. Before you could spiral into that sickening feeling of dread, a light knock sounded on your bedroom door.

“Yes?” You called out. The door creaked open and Ominis stepped into your room quietly. His wand put pulses of red light into your dark room as he navigated his way towards you.

“Having nightmares again?” He asked in a soft voice.

“Is it that obvious?” The worried look on his face made your heart twinge. Despite that, you found his presence comforting.

“I’m certain half of London knows.” Ominis sat on the edge of your bed and set his wand on your night table. Following your seventh year at Hogwarts you had found a flat in London, a few months later Ominis had come to live with you to be closer to work.

“I’m tired of the dreams, Ominis. It is so awful waking up like this every night.” You rubbed at your eyes, your hands shifting up to run through your hair. You still felt as though you might be sick.

“Was it about him?” There was only one “him” when it came to your conversations with Ominis. You hummed a confirmation, not trusting your ability to keep your dinner in your belly if you opened your mouth. You didn’t look at Ominis, you didn’t like to see the guilt on his face. Ominis always gracefully tiptoed around your regret, it was only fair you did the same for him.

During Sebastian’s sentencing, you had only felt it was the right thing to do. He had gone too far, using dark magic and murdering a person. As the years went by, you questioned your choice to turn him in more and more. Sebastian had killed Solomon in self-defense. Surely that didn’t constitute a life sentence in Azkaban…

“Stop that. You mustn’t spend all your time torturing yourself like this.” Ominis set his hand on your shoulder, his thumb lightly stroking across the soft linen sleeve of your nightgown.

“I see him every time I close my eyes. I feel his hands in mine. I hear his laughter. I’m a monster, Ominis.” Hot tears pricked at your eyes, slowly streaking down your cheeks.

“You are not a monster. We… We did what we must.” Ominis insisted, although he sounded uncertain. It truly was self-defense. Solomon had attacked you both, and he was merely defending you. He was defending himself. As you spiraled into your thoughts, Ominis shifted closer to you and cupped your cheek in his hand. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry, Ominis.” You sniffled, tears streaming down your cheeks now. He shushed you, holding you close. His hand caressed your hair, and he twisted enough to press a little kiss to your forehead. A symbol of affection he’d taken to using in your sixth year. You felt awful about the way his touch comforted you. His hands were warm and firm against you, like the rock you could cling to in a stormy sea.

“I told you we would face this together. You needn’t hide your pain from me.” His voice was soft, emotional. It tugged at your heart.

“I know, Ominis. I know.” You sighed softly. A wave of exhaustion washed over you, the warmth of Ominis’ body and the comfort of his touch relaxing you.

“You should rest. When the morning comes you will feel better.” He very tenderly helped you lie back with your head on the pillow, his thumb brushing over your cheek and an almost pained expression crossing his features. You knew he was in love with you. You’d known for a long time. He sometimes forgot that you could see his expressions, and he often showed his emotions quite openly without meaning to. It hurt to see him like that, to see him be so adoring of you when you could only think of another man.

“Stay with me.” The words left your mouth before you could even think about what they might mean to him. What boundaries you might be shattering. Ominis’ jaw clenched for a moment, before he nodded. You scooted over in your bed, and he climbed in, laying in the spot beside you that was still warm from your body. In a bid to push your emotions away enough that they didn’t overwhelm you, you reached out and laid your hand on Ominis’ arm. Without another word, he pulled you in close and wrapped his arms around you and let you rest your head on his chest.

“Everything will be alright.” Ominis said in a soft voice, a hand coming up and brushing your cheek as though he was checking for tears. You draped an arm over his torso, nestling in closer. Despite the guilt coiling in your gut, you had to admit this was nice. He always smelled nice, and he was warm and comfortable. The way he held you in his strong arms made you feel so safe. You closed your eyes, trying to relax into sleep once more. You were overwhelmed with images of freckled arms around you and warm brown eyes. It was almost like you could hear the laughter in the air from your time spent with Sebastian. Your eyes snapped open, banishing the thoughts and bringing you back to the present where you lay with Ominis.

His fingers lazily traced down your arm sending shivers all down your spine. His hand settled on your waist, tracing little circles. The warmth of his touch through your nightgown was intoxicating, especially since it had been so long since you’d allowed yourself to lay in the arms of a man. You’d taken lovers after Sebastian was imprisoned, most of them had remained nameless as you’d only laid with them for one night. You couldn’t even remember the name of the man you’d let take your virginity, all you could remember was that he had been a farm boy with shaggy brown hair and freckles - not that you’d been trying to fill a hole in your heart or anything.

Ominis’ grip on you tightened slightly, and you wondered what he was thinking about. You shifted your position just enough that you could look up at his face to see if you could parse any of his thoughts from his expression. His brows were furrowed slightly, although the rest of his face was neutral. You considered his face, taking in every inch of it. He was very handsome, you’d never deny that. You wondered if you could ever love him the way he loved you. You had an immense amount of love for him, you trusted him with your life. He truly was your best friend and you’d never trade him for anything in the world. Yet… you didn’t know if you could ever love like that again. You’d been a child when you loved Sebastian, and yet he still held such a large part of your heart.

“Ominis?” You murmured softly. His head tilted slightly towards you, a sign you held his attention. You lifted a hand laying it across his cheek and caressing his soft skin. The weight of your touch had him turning towards you even more. His breath lightly fanned over your skin, and your heart began to thud a little harder as his grip on you tightened further. Your head tilted, and in your moment of shame and vulnerability you kissed him. It was almost like he was in disbelief, before he leaned into your kiss. His lips were warm, soft, and his taste was admittedly enticing.

When a soft whine escaped his throat, it went straight to your core. His hand slid into your hair, gripping gently as you pushed yourself up so you were over him. Ominis’ lips parted, and your tongues met in a slow, thorough kiss. The only sounds in the room were your heavy breaths mingling together as your kiss became more and more heated. You’d never experienced such pleasure from something so simple as kissing before, but the passion behind every move he made had you completely breathless. You pulled away, stunned at your own actions.

Before either of you could speak, your lips met again hard and frantic. You found the hem of Ominis’ nightshirt and you pulled away long enough to yank it off of him. He leaned up, nipping your bottom lip and flicking it with his tongue as he pulled you up on top of him. Straddling his waist, you held his face and leaned in chasing that desperate kiss once again. His hands ran up your thighs, squeezing lightly as he moaned openly into your kiss. He was so vocal, something you hadn’t expected, but it was very attractive.

You leaned down over him, taking your sweet time tasting him. He squeezed your thighs and pushed up under your nightgown, groping at your hips and pulling you down as he grinds up against you. A soft gasp escapes your lips, your hand sliding down to his neck. Your fingers lightly brush down the smooth column. You force the guilt out of your mind, concentrating on how this feels. It feels good. You push down all thoughts of Sebastian into a tiny little box in the back of your mind. Ominis pauses, pulling back to catch his breath.

“Is this… Do you really want this?” He asks, his voice carries a plea. You know he wants it, you can feel how hard he is between your legs, you know how much he loves you. You also know that he respects you enough that if you said no, he’d leave it no matter how much it hurt him. You’d crossed this line in your friendship, there was no going back now. You’d made your bed, it was time to lie in it. And you would, so that you didn’t hurt him. Your desire and need for him to touch you overwrote any semblance of sense you had in your head. Yet, would it be the worst thing in the world to sleep with your best friend? The brother-in-bond to your first love?

“I want this. I want you.” You breathed out, your forehead resting against his. Ominis caught the hem of your nightgown and began to lift it. You helped him guide it over your head as you straightened up, throwing the garment onto the floor leaving you bare. He cursed softly, letting out a gentle moan as his hands roamed over your body like he was mapping every curve and line. His soft touch sent chills down your spine, your nipples standing at attention as he cupped the underside of your breasts and the pads of his thumbs swiping over your sensitive flesh. Your breath hitched as he gently rolled your nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, giving them a little tug and prompting a little whimper from you at the slight pain overshadowed by pleasure.

You ran your hands down the lengths of his arms, down onto his chest and you reached down between your legs to where his cock strained against his sleep pants. Ominis pinched your nipples again as your palm ran down the length of his bulge, his back arching slightly as he groaned. He touched all along your torso, tracing your waist and hips as his fingers came to rest on the tops of your thighs. One hand gripped you tight, and the other was rather loose as his thumb came down to brush experimental circles over your already sensitive clit.

“You’re dripping, darling.” Ominis murmured, his thumb swiping through your folds as you let out sweet, little sounds. You gripped the shaft of his cock through his pants, very slowly stroking him. He resumed rubbing circles over your clit, sending little sparks of pleasure through your body. Your hips tilted under his touch, shifting forward so he was pressing against you more firmly. He obliged your silent request, rubbing you harder and faster. With his free hand he found your breast, kneading it and teasing your nipple between his fingers. Your legs spread further, your soaking heat pressing against his bulge. It was instinct to grind on him, to coax those groans and soft curses from his lips. You looked down, watching as he rubbed at your clit and you soaked through his pants from your arousal. While it felt nice, you felt so empty.

“Please, I can’t wait any more.” You whined out, pressing down against him hard to drive your point home. His thumb stilled on your clit, moving away carefully. The lack of attention was agonizing.

“Well we can’t have that now, can we.” He said, his voice huskier than usual. He gripped onto your hips and pushed you up far enough that he could rid himself of the confines of his sleep pants. You watched him, your eyes widening as his cock sprang forward and slapped down against his belly. You didn’t know what you expected, but it wasn’t that. You’d never seen one quite so… perfect. You reached down, wrapping your fingers around him and teasing at his length. Ominis groaned, gripping onto your hips. You bit down on your bottom lip, angling his cock to line up with your slit. You slowly sank down until he was fully sheathed inside you. He gave a wordless groan, his head leaning back against the pillow as he squeezed you a little tighter.

You braced your palms against his chest, shifting slowly with a gasp. The way he filled you and stretched you was delicious. Slow movements let your body adjust to his impressive length, little mewls escaping your lips as the repetitive motions built up a delightful pleasure in your core. You watched his face as your hips lifted and fell, thrusting down onto his cock. His pale cheeks were delightfully pink in the dim lighting of your bedroom, and his mouth was agape as he moaned without restraint. His hands guided you up and down, tugging you down harder and harder every time encouraging you to grind on him.

It was slow and sensual, the way you were fucking him. In that precise moment, his pleasure meant little to you, you could only concentrate on your own. It just felt so damn good the way he had you feeling so full. The way your clit was grinding against him and you rode his perfect cock had you on cloud nine. Your hands roamed your own body, teasing up your waist and up onto your breasts as you moaned and whined atop him. Your hips rutted against him desperately as that white hot feeling of your orgasm budded in your core. Your toes curled, your body tensing as your eyes squeezed shut letting that feeling of bliss take over you.

“Yes, that’s it. Come on my cock.” Ominis pulled your hips down roughly as he thrust up into you hard. Over and over again he pounded up into your soaked heat, his thumb pressing to your clit again as he teased it with little circles. With a ragged cry, he drove you over the edge into an intense climax. Your back arched and your head fell back as you rode out that explosion of pure ecstasy that had your walls pulsing around him. Ominis didn’t relent for a second, letting you writhe and moan sinfully over him.

As the intensity of your orgasm began to fade, Ominis sat up. He captured your mouth in a heated kiss, wasting no time meeting your tongue with his own. His arms guided your legs to wrap around his waist, before wrapping around you and holding you close. His hands roamed the expanse of your back, his nails lightly dragging over your skin. You were shocked by the sudden romance and passion, but you let it happen. Ominis’ touch was tender and soft, like he was committing every inch of you to memory. You were stricken wordless, tasting him and taking the moment to collect yourself.

Your sensitive cunt didn’t have long to recover, as Ominis shifted and carefully laid you on your back. Lowering over you, his hips shifted until he was almost completely withdrawn from you. You whined in protest at the sudden feeling of emptiness, which quickly turned into a loud cry as he slammed back into you without restraint. Your arms wrapped around him, and you held on as he thrust into you deep and hard. Praises streamed from his lips between moans. He murmured softly about how good you felt, how you were taking him so well, how you were such a beautiful and perfect woman. Your nails dug into his back as you moaned shamelessly, the two of you loud enough you were certain your neighbours would hear.

Ominis drove into you relentlessly, his balls slapping against your skin. He held you in place, lifting your hips to angle them so he could get even deeper. The way his cock hit that sweet spot inside of you had your eyes rolling back. You couldn’t string a sentence together, the entire world had disappeared apart from you, Ominis, and the way he was making you feel. Still oversensitive, it didn’t take long before your walls were clenching around Ominis in a second orgasm. His head fell to your shoulder, moaning in your ear and tickling your skin with every exhale. You trembled beneath him, your eyes shut tight as you vocalized your pleasure and held onto him tightly.

His thrusts got sloppier, he still fucked into you fast and hard but his rhythm faltered. With his head on your shoulder, he bit down on your neck muffling a loud moan as he came. He filled you, coating your walls with his seed. Ominis slumped atop of you as you both breathed heavily. You could feel his heart pounding through his chest, the rapid pace matching your own. He pressed tender kisses to your neck, his nose nudging your skin gently. After a moment, he pulled out of you and lay down beside you on his back.

The action seemed to pull you out of your haze of pleasure, and you found yourself staring at the ceiling as you tried to process what had just happened. You’d slept with him. With Ominis. While Sebastian rotted away in prison. He’d given you his heart, and here you were in bed with his best friend.

“Are you alright?” Ominis asked in a gentle voice as his fingers brushed against the skin of your arm. He sounded so happy.

“More than alright.” You lied, shifting closer to him to rest your head against his chest. It was so right, but it was so wrong. He kissed your forehead tenderly, his arms wrapping around you to hold you close. Slowly, his breath evened out. You watched him fall asleep, so peaceful and calm, while your heart was eating you alive.

For a long time you stared out into the darkness, just listening to Ominis as he snored softly next to you. What now? What the hell were you supposed to do? You couldn’t wait forever for Sebastian, because he wasn’t coming. You looked at Ominis, watching him sleep for a moment. He was a good man. He would treat you right. Maybe one day you could love him the way he loved you. You clenched your jaw, nestling into his side and closing your eyes as fatigue overwhelmed you. As you drifted off into an uneasy sleep, you felt Ominis squeeze you gently and tug you in as close as possible.

***

The early morning sun was streaming into your room as you awoke to a persistent tapping on the window. You opened an eye, spotting a tawny owl clutching an envelope as it perched on your window sill. You stood up, glancing over at Ominis who still slept soundly looking handsome as ever with his tousled hair and his peaceful expression. You smiled slightly, It had been three months now since you’d become lovers, and he had been courting you so sweetly. A glittering engagement ring sat upon your hand, and every day you drew nearer your wedding date. Wrapping a housecoat around your body, you opened the window to take the envelope from the owl. You stroked the animal’s feathery head, before it turned and spread its wings flying away.

You opened the blank envelope, pulling out the piece of parchment and unfolding it. Your heart dropped as you recognized the lovely scrawl of Sebastian Sallow.

My Dearest,

Though I haven’t heard from you since my sentencing, you have not left my thoughts a single moment. I dream of your smile, of the sound of your laugh. I lament the time I have missed.

I do not hate you for turning me in. Not when this has turned my life around. I befriended an auror fellow, I think you’d quite like him. He was colleagues with my Uncle. He listened to my tale, and suggested a retrial.

My trial was a success. With my good behaviour during my time imprisoned, my undeniable charm and wit, and an auror on my side - I’m to be released later this month.

Your eyes went blurry, unable to read the rest of his letter. Emotions overwhelmed you, and you looked over at Ominis where he slept peacefully. Nausea overwhelmed you, such a horrible pressure in your chest made you feel as though the world was collapsing around you. You felt breathless, struggling to breathe. Sebastian was being released? Sebastian was being released and he still cared for you? You’d given yourself to Ominis. You’d allowed yourself to try and care for him in a romantic way. He was going to be a good husband to you. Yet now, the man you were once quite convinced was your soulmate was coming home?

You covered your mouth, trying to stay silent so you didn’t wake up Ominis. You shook your head, tears pricking in your eyes. What have you done?

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