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freneziwlp · 16 days

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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭

Tess Servopoulos x fem!reader

AO3 / part 1

after spending the whole summer apart, you finally get to reunite with Tess. nobody has any idea what you are up to as you spend a whole week together.

authors note: thank you to everyone who gave me such lovely feedback on crossing lines! a few people asked for a continuation, so I went back to this story and I am really glad I did bc it’s close to my heart and I had a lot of fun developing it further. this one is heavy on the romantic aspect bc I wanted it to be joyful and light and to function as a kind of escape for anyone who might need it! I put a lot of thought and time into this, it’s a labour of love, so I really hope you guys enjoy reading it <3

warnings: minors dni. smut (both giving and receiving), large age gap bc reader is in her early 20s Tess is in her early/mid 40s

word count: 25k

as predicted, the two weeks that Tess stayed in your hometown went by in a flash.

fourteen days sounded like a decent amount of time, but the number of hours that you actually spent together one-on-one was very limited. you tried your best, some evenings you´d go over to the place where she was staying and got lost in the heat of the chemistry you had, during those moments it was pure bliss, Tess was a devoted lover and made you feel wanted in ways you´d hardly allowed yourself to dream of before, but you could not stay the night more than a few times, since the excuse of “sleeping over a friend´s house” would have made Joel suspicious if used it too often. it frustrated you that you were so restricted in your movement with her, that you couldn´t go out and get lunch because you knew too many people around town who also knew him, it was hard not to grow frustrated those days because you wanted nothing more than to spend entire days with her, free of the anxiety of who might see or judge you.

one rather nerve wracking event happened a week into her stay: Joel suggested that you should all get dinner together. it was not as unbearable and awkward as you´d have expected, but still, it was hard to sit across the table from her all night pretending like you didn´t wanna touch her or kiss her or look at her with more than polite interest. for her it was just as hard to keep her gaze on him when he talked, while you were so close, your skin glowing beautifully, the memory of its feeling against hers clouding her mind with desire. towards the end of the dinner Tess excused herself to go to the bathroom because she had to catch a break, the heat of the summer day mixing with the heat of her need for you, leaving her a total mess by the end of the night, even more greedy for the taste of you the next time you both found yourselves alone. the one perk of being unfree in your expression of affection was how violently you made up for it when you reunited, more than once you´d sat on the edge of your bed at night, touching the bites and marks she´d left on your inner thighs, your chest, all the places where nobody would be able to see, a satisfied grin on your face when you pressed down on the sensitive spots and felt a slight pain, the lingering impact of her lips, her teeth, her hunger.

at times it did feel strange to lie to your father´s face, especially when he came home from hanging out with her, talking about what they´d done and seen, blissfully unaware of the things you two had done the night before; the constant sneaking around and hiding of your true feelings did make it harder at times to fully enjoy the feeling of being so obsessed with each other, that early stage of no amount of touch being enough, and yet you still soaked up all of the warmth and joy you could during the few times where you could just lay in bed together and forget about the outside world.

the morning she was going to drive back home, you told Joel you were “seeing a friend for breakfast” and then spent a very emotionally charged hour with her, which looking back almost embarrassed you a little because you´d sobbed quite violently in her arms once it was time to say goodbye. you usually didn´t cry in front of others but you couldn´t help it that day, you´d grown so comfortable around her and she´d made you feel so seen for who you really were, that being separated from her for weeks on end seemed like a nightmare. she put on a slightly braver face, holding your hand and kissing your tear stained cheeks as she told you in an earnest manner “we´ll see each other at the end of August, alright? you´ll come visit and we´ll do whatever we want, but in the meantime you should enjoy your summer. you better have some fun stories to tell me when we see each other again, okay?”, followed by a brief moment of silence and a tentative nod from you, trying to cling to the knowledge that you´d eventually reunite.

the days after Tess´s departure you tried your best not to let it show that it had affected you, but you knew you weren´t concealing it well, so you pretended you were a little under the weather and spent some time in bed, sulking and being dramatic about your lovesickness.

almost immediately after Tess was back home you two developed a routine. it was clear as day that she was not a great texter so you called each other about every other day, mostly at night because then neither of you were in a rush, laying in bed and catching each other up on what you´d done that day, her offering some gossip about coworkers, you offering some about people from high school you´d run into, asking more personal questions that you hadn´t thought of before, comforting each other whenever you´d had a rough day, teasing each other a lot, making the best of your less than ideal situation of being miles and miles apart.

generally, your calls were calm and relaxed but during one of them, when it had gotten particularly late and her voice was even raspier and lower in your ear than usual, the sudden silence on your side and your labored breaths gave away what you were trying to do, she paused for a moment before she asked “are you getting off to my voice right now?” which made you stop immediately, but after a brief laugh she added “no come on, it´s okay, let me help you out there”. from the moment you had first kissed her, you had never been shy with her about how much you liked her but in moments like that it did take her a moment to believe it, that you were truly that into her, enough to get turned on just from hearing her speak. it was both endearing and thrilling to her, to be lusted after that overtly.

she´d never talked anyone through it over the phone but Tess liked a challenge, so she thought about what you might want her to say and continued speaking, telling you how pretty you looked when you´re all worked up and desperate, what she´d do if she was there next to you, her tone soft and sultry, so she didn´t have to keep doing it for long, after a while of getting into it she could hear a sound that signaled to her that you were done, a sense of cockiness swelling up in her. a moment after you said “you should feel really good about yourself”, she smiled which you could hear from the way she spoke, of course she knew what you meant but she liked teasing you, “oh yeah? why?”, “why? Tess. I miss you so much that I´m doing shit like this” she laughed then, “well, we´re in a similar spot then”, “are you saying you jerk off thinking about me?” you teased back, “take a wild guess sweetheart”.

that night you had various feverish dreams about her, inspired by what had happened over the phone mere minutes before you fell asleep, which left you spaced out and distracted the next day, haunted by the visions you´d had of her mixed with the actual real life memories that were utter torture to think of. it happened pretty often in the following weeks that you had to ask someone to repeat themselves because you were busy thinking of her; Tess on the other hand was eyed curiously by a few of her friends and colleagues because they sensed an unfamiliar ease in her, she smiled more than usual, she was less irritable and snapped at people way less frequently than before, to a point where her closest friend straight up asked “okay. who is she?” over dinner one night because she knew that Tess could only be magically changed like that by a pretty intense infatuation.

towards the end of summer it was thankfully rather explain to Joel why you wanted to go back to college early, you made something up about getting into the groove of things before classes started and he was just glad to see you eager to get back to your life there because the year before you´d sometimes seemed a little fed up with everything. as long as you were happy he was happy but of course, the true source of your happiness might have changed his mind in that instance. lucky for you, he had not caught on about the fact that your enthusiasm had absolutely nothing to do with your academic life. the plan you and Tess had come up with was a simple one: you´d fly back to your college town and from there you could take a train to Tess´s city that would take about two hours, which meant you´d get there in the early evening if everything went according to plan.

she told you she´d park just down the road of the station and the moment you spotted her from a distance it reminded you of the first time you´d met: she was leaning against the passenger door the exact same way, but this time a bright smile crept onto her face as soon she saw you walking towards her. what she did then was very typically Tess, she didn´t walk or run over to you but let you come close to her, those subtle displays of dominance that suited her well, watching your slightly tired but utterly joyful expression as you approached her, waiting until you were only a few feet away from her to finally stand up and open her arms. the second she did that you dropped your bags and swung your arms around her neck, immediately nuzzling your face against her neck and making a sound of excitement as she picked you up with her familiar strong grip, lifting you from the ground for a second, wrapping her arms tightly around your back as you breathed in her scent, her hair soft against your face, the fragrance of her shampoo reminding you of the times you´d been in bed with her and had gotten an intoxicating whiff of it. “my sweet girl” she said as she kept holding you. neither of you wanted to let go, so you stayed like that for about a minute, wordlessly embracing and touching, eyes closed, melting into each other, instantly as comfortable as you´d been the last time you´d been that close two months prior. eventually you let go and faced each other, somehow there was an agreement that you´d wait to kiss until you could do it properly, passionately, in private, so you held her hand instead and waited for her to speak, beaming at her, overjoyed by the thought of having a whole week with her ahead of you, trying to soak up the bliss of that long awaited reunion, the sun casting you in a golden glow that matched the warm feeling you both felt in your chests.

she looked at you with soft eyes and touched your cheek with her free hand, caressing you the way she´d done countless times before, you breathing out deeply as you leaned into it because that simple gesture alone put your whole body at ease. “you´ve had a long day, right? are you tired now?” a subtle sound of concern, you smiled at her, still processing that she was actually in front of you again, somehow even more beautiful than you remembered, her hair slightly ruffled from the breeze, her face bronzed and freckled from the weeks of sun before, “well I was tired until like a minute ago, but now I´m wide awake”. she grabbed you by your waist then, enjoying your flirting, holding onto you, “good, that´s what I hoped. so how about we go home first, you can freshen up, relax, and then we can go get some dinner, how does that sound?”, “perfect, ideal” you said, leaning in to kiss her cheek while whispering “I missed you, so much”, an obvious statement but you felt the need to remind her, her hands lingering on your back as she let you press your lips against her face, “I missed you too. I´m glad to have you all to myself this week”. she took your bags from you and put them into the trunk, joining you in the car a few seconds after and it felt good to be back in that seat next to her since that was where your whole relationship had started, where you´d spent the first few hours of knowing each other, it reminded you of the fun you´d had with her during the beginning of summer, the nervousness before you dared to go for it, so it was a cute full circle moment, to be right back in that same spot.

“ah I missed this, your shameless staring” she said, grinning as she pulled out of the parking spot and felt your gaze fixed on the right side of her face, you´d gotten comfortable and were eyeing her with clear desire, unwilling to mask any of it. “well, you might get sick of it by the end of the week”, she shook her head, “no, never. oh by the way, here, I thought you might need something like this”, she directed your attention to the drink holders between you, which held two of the refreshments she´d seen you go for most often. “didn´t know which one you´d prefer right now so I just got both”, it was one of the things about her that had won you over from the start, her way of paying attention to even the smallest things, her way of reminding you that she cared about the details, “oh thank you, that´s really sweet”, you said as you took a big sip of one of the cold drinks, but Tess never wanted any praise for her little acts of service because she saw it as the most natural thing in the world, so she changed the subject.

“so, be honest, was it weird? lying to him about all this?” she knew that it was no small thing, to lie to Joel that blatantly about going back to college when you were actually visiting her for a whole week, so she made sure you were still fine with it. “oh it was okay. we get a little pissed off with each other when we spend so many weeks in one house, so I think that helped with me not feeling too bad”, she nodded, an amused expression “right, I get that, good to have some distance now I assume?”. “yeah for sure. but not just because of him, I was honestly just glad to be leaving home now”, that intrigued her, “oh yeah? how come?”, a sympathetic tone, you thought about it “I don´t love spending that much time back where I grew up. now that I have my own life, coming back there sometimes makes me feel so out of place and weird.. like running into old friends and seeing all the places I used to spend my time, it can get suffocating after a while, all those memories and old feelings”. Tess made a sound of agreement, “yeah I get that, I avoid going back to my hometown, I used to do it more when I was younger but I only do Christmas now, that´s it. sometimes you just outgrow a place and it feels odd as hell to return, huh?”, you nodded, ��exactly yes”, she hardly ever talked about her family so you knew it meant something for her to share that information, you didn´t press her further, still, it made you feel understood and seen in a way.

“so, this might be a good moment to say thank you for letting me come here” she tried to wave it off but you insisted “no, really! I can´t tell you how nice it is to be able to leave early without having to go back to my everyday life already. you´re kind of saving my life by giving me this in between, I already feel lighter right now, like I can breathe out again”, she grabbed your hand, squeezing it a little, “well I´m glad, I want you to let go of everything and just enjoy this week okay? I´ll take good care of you” she meant it, she felt protective over you and wanted nothing more than to offer you an escape from whatever might be weighing on you, “oh, I´m sure you will”, you said, a suggestiveness to your words that made her laugh then, “okay, I wasn´t just talking about that kind of care but sure, that too”. there was palpable tension between you, you could both feel it as you kept glancing at each other, Tess was wearing something you hadn´t seen her in yet, the temperature was warm but not too hot so she´d opted for black pants that hugged her body perfectly paired with an oversized navy t-shirt that left her forearms exposed, you were also dressed in something that was unfamiliar to her, which left you in a similar state of wanting to get your hands under the fabric already. a charged silence hung between you as she pulled into her street and interrupted your shared moment of fantasizing, “this is it” she announced, pointing at her house as she looked for an empty spot.

“okay wow...” you said, clearly stunned. the street was picturesque: tall buildings, beautiful architecture, five story houses with little iron balconies out front, a row of lush trees on either side of the street that cast pretty shadows onto the sidewalk. the area seemed both urban and peaceful, it was very close to the center of the city so there were little shops and cafes further down the block that were busy during that time of day, she was pleased by your reaction, the nervousness about having you stay with her was fading by the second. “you know what. I think I should just drop out and come live here, be your trophy girlfriend” you joked as you both exited the car and you got a good look at your surroundings, she laughed as she got your bags for you, charmed by your enthusiasm, secretly into the idea of having you with her for good “enticing offer, truly, I´ll think about it”

as you walked up the stairs to her apartment, you noticed how nice even just the hallway was, the ground floor had mosaic tiles, the stairs seemed about a century old, sturdy and almost like something you´d find in an old library, you turned to Tess who was walking behind you, “is it possible that you´re hiding the fact that you´re kind of rich?”, which she could only laugh at, “I wish. rent-control, baby, that´s the reason I´ve been living here for ten years, I couldn´t afford places in this area if I moved here now. but feel free to believe that I am secretly rich, I don´t mind”.

by the time she let you in, you were slightly out of breath, steading yourself against the wall as she dropped your bags on the floor and closed the door, giving you only a brief second to recover before she grabbed your face with determination and kissed you, deeply this time, her hands holding your face as she pushed you further against the wall, eager, kissing you in a way that was not elegant or pretty but messy with all the pent up tension, her taste still familiar to you, even after all those weeks, hot and slightly sweet against your tongue, your skin tingling where her knee brushed yours as she had you against the wall, a series of desperate but pleased sounds leaving both of you until you eventually got dizzy with the heat of it and separated, smiling bright while you stood there breathing even heavier than before.

“so” she said, her lips a deeper shade of pink than before, “I think I should give you a tour of your home for the week now, right? be a good host”, you nodded, smiling to yourself, realizing that you hadn´t even taken a look around yet. Tess lead you to her bedroom first to drop off your stuff there and it was just what you´d imagined it to be: minimal but elegant, nothing showy, no bright colors, but an impressively large bed for one person with very comfortable looking sheets, the same dark wooden floor you´d already noticed outside the room that gave her whole space an expensive, chic feel. there was not much clutter at all, she was obviously a neat person, you could tell that she took good care of the few belongings that she cherished, no clothes over her chair, no trinkets on the dresser, nothing left laying around where it didn´t belong. still, the room had a distinctly warm and inviting feel to it, you could already imagine how well you´d sleep in there and she was glad to read the enthusiasm in your expression; Tess was only human, so naturally she´d worried about what you´d think of her place, if you´d feel comfortable staying there for a while, but those thoughts were quickly replaced by relief when she saw no hesitation on your part as you moved around, quite the opposite, you seemed elated.

Tess quickly showed you where the bathroom was but didn´t have much to say about it, so instead she lead you to the room that took up most of her apartment: her living room that was connected to the kitchen, a bright open space, one that made it easy imagine her throwing dinner parties there, which she probably rarely did, but still, the understated chicness of the place lent itself to fantasies. the thing that struck you most about her apartment was that it got a ton lot of beautiful natural light, it had tall ceilings and big windows, so during that early evening hour you were spoiled with a glow of orange-golden sunlight, two windowed doors opening up to her balcony, which looked like a lovely place to spend summer nights. it was very obvious that the apartment belonged to a person who was not that easy to figure out just by taking a look around, it fit her personality, that you wouldn´t have been able to guess much about her just by judging the interior design, other than the fact that she had good taste.

eventually Tess reached the end of what she had to show you, so she got comfortable on the couch and patted the space next to her, looking up at you with an inviting smile, but as you stepped closer you shook your head and lowered yourself onto her lap instead, your arm around her neck as she put hers around your lower back to steady you, glad about the fact that you still seemed just as physically comfortable with her as you´d been in June.

you held onto her as you smiled at her, taking a look at her pretty eyes from up close as you said, “I just realized I haven´t asked you a thing about the stuff that matters yet. so, how are you, really? is it still stressful at work? you mentioned something last week, I was kinda worried” you purposely put on the tone that a wife using to comfort her tired spouse after a long day at work, it charmed her, she thought about it for a moment as her hands wandered up and down your back.“oh I´m okay, sweetie, really, it´s getting better now. for a minute they were just giving me more and more shit to do because I get things done faster than the others. maybe I should start slacking off a little.. but yeah it´s good to have a break now. the thought of you coming here kinda kept me going last week” that made you feel warm but also evoked some sympathy, you exaggerated a little with your pity as you answered “poor thing” brushing a strand of her hair out of her face, eyeing her with tenderness, “I wish I could have been here and cooked for you or something, helped you out a little” she smiled imagining it, “hm, I´d have liked that”. “well I´m here now, I´ll help you relax this week, don´t you worry” your hands on her shoulders then, squeezing a little, gently massaging her muscles there for a moment, a pleased sigh from her as she shut her eyes, “god, I forgot how sweet you are..” you stared at her, tilting your head, “forgot?? I guess I´ll have to leave more of an impression this time”, a grin as you said this, still moving your fingers over the fabric of her shirt, she nodded, already fully back under your spell again, “feel free to overdo it, yes”.

she didn´t have to tell you that twice. you moved your legs to go from sitting on her to straddling her and leaned down to kiss her neck, gently at first, but quickly getting lost in the sensation of her scent, her soft skin, feeling her struggle to stay quiet and still under you until her patience wore thin and she needed more, so she tugged at the bottom of your shirt to signal to you to let her pull it off. the moment you leaned back again, she did just that, pulling it off and throwing it to the side before she grabbed you and kissed your chest, a low humming sound of pleasure, your hands around her neck as she put her lips to the soft skin right above your bra, biting it lightly because she couldn´t keep her desperation for you inside. you did her a favor and removed your underwear, so she could do what she really wanted, to get her mouth on your tits, messy and needy as she moved you from her legs to your back onto the couch, leaning down and covering your whole chest and stomach in wet kisses, overcome with all the desire she´d kept at bay during the time she had to manage being separated from you, your breathing interrupted by satisfied sighs. you spent about half an hour just making out on her couch like that, grabbing and biting and caressing each other in a feverish state of “I missed you” passion, and yet, holding off with actually fucking because you both knew you´d want to really take your time and do it properly later that evening, perhaps also because you liked the idea of getting hot for each other during dinner, having that leftover bit of anticipation, drawing it out a few more hours to savor the intense longing you´d both gotten so used to.

eventually, you suggested that you should probably go take a shower and get changed. you were eager to look as good as possible in her presence, so she showed you where she kept her towels and left you to it, getting herself a drink from the fridge and opening the balcony door to sit there with a breeze against her face as she smiled to herself, unable to hide how giddy she was over the fact that she finally had the girl she wanted back in her life, many days and nights to look forward to.

once you were out of the shower you wrapped yourself in a big towel and went back to her bedroom to get dressed, still high on the surreal feeling of being in her space, daydreaming about becoming part of it, not just for a week. as you looked at all the tops you´d brought with you, none of them stood out to, so you got an idea and stepped closer to the door to call out to Tess, “what is it?” she answered from the living room, “come, help me with something”, so she did what she was told. Tess didn´t walk into the room but stopped in the door frame for a second to take in the sight of you in your underwear and jeans “damn, I could get used to this” she said, looking you up and down, her arms crossed, you smiled at her, a sudden tingling sensation on your exposed skin where her gaze was resting.

“can I wear one of your shirts? please?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at her but you didn´t even have to convince her, she loved the idea of seeing you in her clothes, “sure, yeah, come here” she said, waving you over as she walked to her closet and opened the doors for you, “nothing´s off limits, pick whatever you want” so you started scanning the various fabrics as she watched you, absentmindedly tracing your upper body with her fingers, all the parts of you that were yet to be covered, the softness of your freshly showered skin making her space out until you said “okay, let´s try this one”.

you stepped in front of the full length mirror next to her closet and pulled the black long sleeve shirt that you´d picked out over your head, it was light enough for summer nights and fit you well, you fussed with your hair as she stepped behind you, she could tell that you were trying to find a fault with your appearance, so her arms found their way around your waist, pulling you back into herself as she looked ahead at the reflection of you both, her head resting on your shoulder, “you´re so pretty” she cooed before leaning in and lightly kissing your neck, turned on from the sight of you in something that was hers. you smiled and closed your eyes as she started feeling you up, “we won´t make it to dinner if you keep doing that” you sighed, so she laughed and restrained herself, letting you go and walking over to her bedside table to touch up her perfume, hearing you utter “god that smells so good..” the second it hit your nose, because even just a hint of her signature scent was enough to make you feel dizzy. Tess looked pleased, well aware of that effect, recalling the times you´d basically licked her neck with pure greed, not acknowledging your comment but announcing her plans instead “okay so, there´s this great Thai place about fifteen minutes from here, it´s my favorite spot, so much so that I actually never take people there because I like that it´s my secret thing, but I´d like show it to you”, you smiled, “so, I´m an exception?”, she nodded “absolutely yes”, somehow you could tell that she wasn´t just saying it to charm you, that you did occupy a special place in her life. “sounds good to me, I´m starving so I´ll be very easy to impress”, “okay great, come on then”. you both exited the bedroom and collected your things before stepping out, both giddy with the excitement of having a proper date night for the first time since getting together, no time limit, no rush, total freedom.

the atmosphere that night was idyllic, it was that distinct late summer feel, a warmth that was pleasant but not too heavy, the sun setting earlier than those bright weeks in June, casting the sky in a muted blue, little accents of orange from the glow of the streetlights, the sound of people chatting and getting drinks after a long day, a collective sense of slow ease in the city as you linked arms and started walking. usually, Tess kept her head down when she made her way through those streets, she was the type to just zone out and wear headphones all the way to her destinations, never looking at her hometown with much generosity, lost in a dull routine, but your presence was changing things for her; she found herself falling back in love with where she lived because she saw how much you were enjoying yourself, it was rubbing off on her, the way you looked around and pointed out all the details she usually passed by without thinking twice. for years Tess had refused to be present in her life, after a few very painful years she´d decided to just give up on excitement, on chasing thrills and had numbed herself as best as she could, pushing herself into a state of hardness that left her cut off from most strong feelings. she told herself it was better that way, to remain detached and untouchable, but you had come along and were helping her come out of that state. you´d given her a reason to feel again, to come back into her body, to be in touch with her senses and the world again, for the first time in ages she felt completely present, glad to be exactly where she was in life. as she thought all of this you could feel her pulling you closer, shoulder to shoulder, you´d missed it terribly all summer, those casual intimacies with her.

during your walk to the restaurant she gave you the inside scoop on a lot of the places you passed: her favorite spot for coffee, a cinema that she frequented, a bar that she might take you to later that week, the entire time you were listening intently, buzzing with the joy of being let into her life like that.

the place was located in a small alley that branched out from the bigger street you´d been walking down, so it was quiet and secluded, the kind of place that didn´t need a bunch of fancy decorations to lure people in, a lowkey but cozy vibe, a few lanterns hanging outside, little candles burning on the tables, vases with little fresh flowers around the room. you decided to sit inside because the doors were open anyway and a few couples were already sitting out on the terrace, so a table indoors would offer a little more privacy. the room was dimly lit and a delicious smell was stirring your hunger, a few workers busy behind the bar with making drinks, soft music playing over the speakers as a kind waitress showed you to a table placed two menus in front of you.

“so, go ahead and tell me what´s good here” you said, leaning your head on your hands while looking at her expectantly. “well I have my usual order but how about we share a few things so you can try more of them? we can take whatever we can´t finish home”, that sounded good to you, so you ended up deciding on both a noodle and rice dish, some homemade spring rolls, dumplings with chili sauce, and two peach iced teas, which she advertised as the best you´d ever have.

as you waited for the food she pulled your hands over the table, holding them as you both stared at each other lovingly. “I honestly can´t believe I´m actually here now” you said, “yeah me neither” she agreed while you both interlaced your fingers, almost like you had to touch the other person to be sure you weren´t dreaming. “can I be real for a second?” you asked, “please, yes”. you laughed to yourself before going on “I honestly went kind of insane this summer because of you”, Tess smiled then, not having expected that “should I apologize?”, of course she didn´t feel sorry at all, you shook your head, “I just need you to know how serious I am about this. like I have truly never felt this way, it was all day, all night, I couldn´t think of anything else to be honest”. usually Tess was not one to admit her intense feelings to others, especially not romantically, but in that moment she didn´t feel scared to do it, she wanted you to know that it was not one-sided, that obsessiveness you were describing,“yeah I was going through something similar, people caught on very quickly about what was going on with me, which says a lot because I´d like to think of myself as hard to read. but yeah, apparently it was written all over my face when I thought about you” you liked the sound of that,“really?”, “yeah, someone straight up asked me who “she” is because it was so obvious”, you were thrilled by the idea of someone as calm and collected as her being so shaken up by you, “and what did you say?” you inquired, leaning forward.

“oh the truth of course, that I´m having an affair with my friend´s college age daughter”, her dry delivery of that made you laugh then, “affair? that sounds scandalous”, she kept looking at you, “well I hate to break it to you but this kind of is sweetheart”. she was right of course, but it did slip your mind at times how odd your involvement might seem to others, since it felt so right and natural to you. “so, is that a turn on for you? that this is kinda fucked up?” you teased, looking at her with a challenging grin as she leaned back and eyed you in a way that brought color to your cheeks, a pregnant pause on her part before answering “no comment.”, a smugness to her expression that gave away what the actual answer was.

once the dishes were in front of you, she had a lot of fun getting you to try everything first, she wanted to watch your reaction before joining you in eating, and she was not disappointed, you clearly loved all of it, after a full day of travel a meal like that was exhilarating, the sauces were seasoned just right, thick and savory, the dumplings tasted divine, soft and pillowy, practically melting on your tongue, the iced tea was perfect, a great contrast to the heat of the spicy meal. Tess had a thing for watching you eat, her way of loving you was largely based on wanting you to feel good, in every sense of the word, so seeing you take pleasure in something, whether that be her touch, her words, her attention, or the things she gave you to eat and drink, it all made her feel like she was doing a good job; to her being your lover meant more than just having sex with you or spending time with you, she thought of it as her responsibility to make sure that her presence was actively bettering your life, your well being, so a dinner like that where you said things like “this might be the best meal I´ve had in years” made her heart swell. at her core, Tess wanted to feel like she had a purpose, and despite how closed off she might have seemed to those around her all her life, she´d always been the type to go looking for that kind of fulfillment in devotion to another person, the kind that is so deep and visceral and sacred that it almost seems sacrilegious to speak of it to other people. it seemed unthinkable for her to try and explain to someone else what you meant to her.

after you both put your utensils down and sipped the rest of your drinks, she had something on her mind, “can I ask you something?”, a gentle tone,“sure yes”. she thought about how to word it for a second, you leaned your head on your hand as you waited for her to speak. “you weren´t with many people before me, right?” you shook your head “no”. you saw no point in lying to her, you wanted her to know you and she was glad that you trusted her. “well, I was just wondering, is it strange for you sometimes, that you´re having these experiences with someone much older? you can be honest with me, really, I can handle it” the seriousness with which she said that touched you, it was clear that she wanted to make sure that you were comfortable, that you knew you could talk to her openly.

“it´s sweet of you to ask but no, not at all. I was actually thinking about this recently, the fact that I feel more like myself around you than with the people I tried to date in college. it just never clicked, I always felt like I was putting on an act, you know? but with you it was so easy from the beginning. I never felt awkward or weird around you, it was freeing in that way. i mean, it still is, so no, it doesn´t feel strange” she could tell that you meant it and it put her at ease, you played with the straw of your drink as you added “I do sometimes have thoughts about my age too, because I never want you to get bored or anything, since I´m less experienced in many ways”, she sensed that there was a hint of insecurity in there and she was puzzled by it “okay that is nonsense, really. trust me, I have been with “experienced” women and that doesn´t mean shit, some of them had no idea how to treat a partner or how to be a decent person in general. they could learn a thing or two from you, believe me, you´re a dream to be with”, you smiled at her, charmed by that answer, reaching out to caress her forearm, “also, just to add to your question, it should be pretty obvious to you that I don´t care about your age because you´re fucking hot”, she laughed then, shaking her head, flattered by your ever so shameless way of lusting after her “okay, sure, let´s not act like saints here, I also wouldn´t have invited you to my place if I didn´t wanna fuck you”, she said it that way on purpose to mess with you a little, grinning at you as your face briefly got colored in shock. “okay I see, that´s how it is” you responded, but of course you didn´t mind one bit, it felt good to get back into that familiar thing of trying to catch each other off guard with out of pocket comments.

eventually she got the bill, she wouldn´t have let you pay even a fraction of it in a million years, and you both made your way back outside. by that time it was dark and the air had gotten chilly, so she made sure to wrap her arm tightly around you as you walked back to her apartment, but before you could reach her place her attention got caught by something. “oh, I forgot about this place”, you followed her gaze and saw that she was looking at a shop across the street, “they have this really fancy ice cream, it´s a little overprized but worth it. you want some?” she asked, “yeah sure!”. it was hard to pick because the flavors all sounded uniquely delicious, but you eventually settled on salted caramel while she got a dark chocolate raspberry mix, conveniently there was an empty bench right next to the store, so you sat down and got comfortable while tasting the desert and nodding at each other in approval as the intense flavor spread on your tongues.

“yeah this is it” you said, immediately going in for more. she had her arm behind your back on the bench and watched what was going on around you for a while, before her attention was drawn to your mouth. you had no idea what she was thinking as you licked the ice cream but the sight of your tongue swirling around like that, the undeniable erotic quality of those movements, it made her rethink her attitude towards getting head from you. previously she´d almost always been the giver, you´d gotten her off here and there and you´d made it clear to her that you´d enjoy doing more for her, but she had yet to take you up on the offer, perhaps because she was scared of being vulnerable in that way, but as she kept watching you devour the slowly melting ice cream, your lips glistening from it, she couldn´t help but feel a heat between her legs as she imagined how it would feel to have your tongue on her, to have you savoring her taste. Tess was not one to lose her composure easily but she was getting impatient, she felt a violent need building up inside of her that was bordering on the unbearable, so she cleared her throat before announcing “I think we should go home.”, a weight to the words that made you turn to face her, the moment you locked eyes with her you could tell what she was actually saying, which was I need to get my hands on you right now. so you kept your answer brief “okay” and let her pull you up.

both of you were quiet and walked significantly faster than earlier, there had been a build-up of desire for weeks, countless dreams of each other, countless hours of aching for each other´s touch, and in that moment it came crashing over both of you in full force. the hours before it had been on a low simmer but in that moment it boiled over and you were struck by a need for each other that was so deep and intense that you almost had trouble breathing as you hurried up the stairs to her apartment.

the moment the door was shut behind you, she dragged you to her bedroom and you couldn´t help but smile from being wanted that desperately. she barely managed to switch on her bedside lamp before she turned back to you and kissed you hard, her hands on the sides of your face, a whimpering sound from you as you felt your whole body burning up for her; you both started fumbling with each other´s clothes immediately, almost ripping them off until you were left in your underwear, allowing yourselves a moment of admiring the other person´s physique in the dim light, your eyes drawn to her broad shoulders, her strong upper arms, the way her hair was falling down over them in waves, her eyes drawn to your stomach, your hips, that space right above your thighs she was dying to grab. you quickly pulled each other close to kiss again, feverishly and sloppier than before while she pushed you towards the bed, you were grabbing each other all over, wherever your hands landed, a force to the way your fingers dug into each other´s flesh that got you more and more worked up, it was pure bliss to finally have it back, that dizzying passion.

Tess backed you up onto the mattress, you were flat on your back then as she climbed over you and pinned your arms down at your sides, her fresh musky fragrance clouding your mind as you looked up at her and sighed “don´t hold back, please”, she always had to be careful with leaving marks while you were in your hometown, but now you were free, so she lost no time and abandoned restraint, kissing you all over your neck, sucking and biting the soft skin that she´d missed so terribly, your skin various shades of red in certain places, soaking up the sounds you were making, a mix between sighs and moans, not too loud yet but definitely getting there as she moved down to your chest. during the times you´d fucked before you´d always done it in a rush, worried your time was running out, but in that moment it was completely different, after she left your neck raw from having her way with you, you both hastily got rid of your underwear, you climbed on top of her, flush against each other, chest to chest as you made out, her hands roaming all over your body, switching between squeezing and caressing, yours next to her face as you got lost in the heat of the full body contact, the overwhelming sensuality, doing things that you hadn´t thought of doing before, kissing her arm all the way down, taking the time to taste every part of her that you´d spent so much time staring at, which was driving her insane, feeling your soft lips tender on her hand, briefly taking her fingers in your mouth, a low sound of pleasure from her as you messily licked over her stomach, her tits, leaving a trail of spit until you reached her throat and eventually put your lips back to hers, obsecene with it, open mouthed and moaning as your tongues met, your hands in her hair, both moving your hips as you kissed, increasingly desperate to do more, to release the tension that had built up at your core; without even consciously trying to, you ended up in a position that allowed you to rub up against each other, you still on top of her, grinding against her as your wetness mixed with hers and got you both to a point of pathetic whining very quickly, your palms flat on her chest for support as she stared at you in awe, her hands firm at your sides, both of you suddenly overcome with the need to sigh sweet things to each other, a constant echo of, “you´re so pretty” , “I missed you so much”, “you feel so good”, wrapping each other in the comfort of those words as you felt yourselves throbbing from the constant friction, the slick feeling of the other person´s heat against your own, the divine sensation whenever you found just the right angle and rocked back and forth like that, moaning in unison. eventually you locked eyes as you felt that you might cum at the same time, so you leaned down and breathed into each other´s open mouths as you finished, too far gone too kiss properly, remaining like that and clinging to each other out of breath.

Tess was gripped by the need to have you on her fingers, to feel how soaked you were from the inside, so she pushed you onto the empty space next to her, urging you to lay back and get comfortable as she moved her hand down between your legs and felt how soaked you´d gotten, a breathy, “fuck..” as she used the mess to slick up her fingers, a needy, almost pained sound from you then, “you feel so good” she praised as she slowly pushed two of her fingers into you, addicted to the feeling of your velvety hot flesh as she went knuckle deep, an almost animal-like possessiveness in to her physicality then that rendered you defenseless, entirely at her mercy, trembling with the thrill of being taken by her as she leaned down to kiss your chest, fucking you slowly to really feel it, the way you were throbbing, rocking against her hand. Tess sighed against your skin as she felt you turning into an utter mess for her, “fuck, right there”, you cried as she found the spot she needed to target, your hands gripping the sheets, your head pressed into the pillow as she sucked on your neck and made you almost black out with the double arousal from being both fingered and kissed, both your lower and upper body on fire from the feeling of her all over you, the ache at your core deepening each passing second from her relentless pressure on your sweet spot, your legs wide open for her even though you felt the need to press them together, “always such a good girl for me, hm?” she praised as she saw that you were trying to be easy for her, “so fucking pretty like this”, she knew what her words were capable of doing to you, especially when she kept her voice low and whispery, so she used it to drive you over the edge, her mouth close to your ear, her breath warm against your face as she had you trapped beneath her, working at your throbbing core, feeling you clench around her fingers as she kept whispering to you, about how hot you sounded, how many times she´d fantasized about doing exactly that, how nothing else made her finish lately when touching herself, your nails digging into her back as you felt yourself coming undone, “it´s okay, I got you” she assured as you tried to let go and let yourself cum around her fingers, eventually unable to hold off any longer as the climax shook you to your core, more visceral than the one before, biting down on her shoulder to stifle the sounds, which made her groan in pleasure, the feeling of your teeth digging into her flesh like that, an unexpected thrill to the pain, she´d have let you draw blood if you´d wanted to. for a moment she refused to let go, even though you were clearly spent, and kept her hand on the mess she´d just made, moving her hand up to your clit to tease you during the aftershocks of your orgasm, which you didn´t mind, it felt good, to be overstimulated, to be pushed into a state of total surrender to her touch, her impact, softer and quieter moans from you then as she watched you, mesmerized by the beauty of your face when you were lost in pleasure, “my angel” slipping out of her mouth as you eventually pulled her hand up to lick it clean for her.

once you found your words again you leaned closer to her ear and whispered “tell me what to do, I´ll do whatever you want”, an eagerness to your tone that hit her right where she was weakest. nothing satisfied Tess more than having you surrender to her, having you waiting for her instructions, desperate to please by letting her do whatever she wanted, but in that moment a different urge came over her, she ran her hands up and down your spine as she responded, “you still wanna taste me?”, which made you move your face change in an instant, conveying your clear “yes” with an intense look, it was like she´d awakened a hunger in you that you´d kept at bay, but now that she was giving you the green light, you felt yourself salivating at the thought, “please, yes”. she nodded, giving you a light slap on your thigh, motioning for you to get down to her legs, “go on then”.

even though you were switching roles of giver and receiver, she was still going to be the dominant one, and you wouldn´t have wanted it any other way. you your placed your hands on her warm thighs as you got down between them, kissing the soft inside at first, the part of her body you´d admired so many times, finally yours, as she leaned back and tried to let go of the slight tension she felt. it was made easy by your tender way of going about it, it turned her on immensely, the contrast of your style versus hers, she knew you needed her to be rough and greedy with it, while you knew that she needed you to be devoted and eager, it got her good, the feeling of looking down at a pretty girl between her legs, visibly aching for her taste. you briefly got lost in the haze of covering her thighs in little kisses and bites, almost worshiping her in a way, but you could feel her growing impatient, her hands moving to your hair as she uttered, “enough teasing, baby”, urging you to give her what she wanted. you kept your hands hooked around her legs as you put your tongue to her cunt, hit by how wet she´d gotten from your fucking before, licking it up in broad strokes before you pushed your face closer, your tongue between her folds then, her grip on you tightening, “that´s it” she praised, “keep going”, so you took the cue and turned it sloppier and more intense, sliding your tongue up and down in a steady rhythm, moving your face with the motions to add more force, “fuck..” you could hear her moan as her head fell back and her back arched up a little, it was completely overwhelming for her in the best sense, she was too prideful to be very loud but she could have moaned pathetically right then if she´d let herself, it had been a while since anyone had eaten her out and you were doing it so passionately, so clearly not just for her pleasure but your own too, that she wondered why the fuck she had denied herself that kind of heaven, her eyes shut, her body on fire, her mind full of only one thought “I love her, I love this girl, I lover her so much”, a sudden rush of adoration for you that could have made her cry from the overstimulated feelign of being fucked while she felt it; meanwhile you were also weak with the weight of your arousal, you could feel yourself growing wetter and needier as your whole lower face got coated in her cum, it was exactly what you´d dreamed of so many times, to finally return the favor, to show her how good it felt to be taken care of in that way, drunk on the taste of her, knowing that you´d stay down there for hours if she told you to, comforted by the feeling of being trapped between her thighs.

eventually she could feel a familiar knot tightening at her core and pushed your head further against herself, her fingers rough in your hair, which got a sound out of you that was whiny and pathetic, dumb with lust as you felt her forcing you closer with that move, keeping her hands there and not letting you move an inch as she struggled to remain quiet, “just like that, don´t stop”, the praise was all you needed to get perverse with it, your spit mixed with her juices leaving her skin and yours a total mess as you devoured her, switching from licking to sucking on her clit to give her a final push, an immediate low groan leaving her lips, breathless by that point, her hips moving upward as she felt the beginning of an orgasm spreading through her whole body, building up to a hard release as you kept your lips on her, nails digging into her flesh as you let her rock against your face as hard as she wanted, soaking up every little noise she made as she came, every move of her muscles, high on the knowledge that it was your doing, her unraveling. once she was left slack and intensely flushed, you slowly moved your face away and gave her thigh a last indulgent bite before moving up to look at her, your hand on her chest as you laid down next to her, the room silent except for your shared attempt to breathe steadily again. a few moments later a smile spread across her tired face, turning her face to see your prideful expression.

“you´re a freak, hm?” she teased, brushing a strand of hair out of your sweat-stricken face. “oh, you´re just now noticing?” you said, grinning at her, “maybe. I should´ve let you do that sooner, god..”, she shook her head, still coming down from the high you just gave her, gazing up at the ceiling for a moment as you traced patterns on her skin with your index finger, staring at her in awe, the blush on her cheeks, her messed up hair. “hm, agree. but you know, we can make up for lost time this week”, she nodded, “oh, we will, yes.”, moving her body over to trap you, her arms by your sides then, looking down at you before kissing you, not a care in the world about the fact that she could taste herself on your lips, covering your face in kisses, eliciting quiet sighs and giggles from you. after she pulled back she put her hand flat on your slightly bruised chest,“we should take a shower, I think”.“we?” you asked, in slight disbelief over the fact that she was willing to be that vulnerable; fucking was one thing, getting cleaned up together was another, and it was true, usually Tess did not do that with the women she was seeing, but she could not stand the idea of leaving you in her room as she showered, or waiting for you as you did, it was different with you. “yes, we, I´m not done with this yet”, she said while gesturing at your exposed form, so you smiled “okay, come on then”, still somewhat weak as you peeled yourself off of the bed and waited for her to lead the way.

Tess´s bathroom was tiled in a dark green color, so at night it had a cozy and slightly cave-like feeling , as opposed to the white tiled ones you were used to, you noticed this as she turned on the shower and made sure the temperature was fine, before you both got in and stood facing each other, your hands loosely resting on each other´s waists, barely a few inches apart.

a few seconds after the hot water started running down your skin, it hit you both at the same time, that getting showering together was somehow more exposing than having sex because your bodies weren´t in motion or in a particularly sexy pose, you were both just standing there, vulnerable, your bodies visible for what they were in their natural state. Tess could tell that you shared some of her sudden shyness and got an idea, before you could reach for any body wash, she did it herself and told you “turn around, let me do that for you, baby”, which she didn´t have to say twice. she put some product in her hands and rubbed them together to create some foam before gently moving her palms over your back, lightly kissing your shoulder for a second, and you could feel yourself relaxing into her touch immediately. the vaguely citrusy and herbal scent started mixing with the steam of the water and gave the shower a spa like feeling, she moved her hands all over you in deliberate gentle motions, enjoying the sensation of your soft skin coated in the creamy soap, almost hypnotized by it, she could have kept doing that for a while, so she made a mental note of offering you a massage sometime. “that feels nice” you sighed as you leaned back against her a little, and she couldn´t help but move her hands to your chest then to pull you even closer, her hands briefly over your tits, the hint of a moan leaving you then, which didn´t escape her, so she kept her fingers there for a moment, a smile on your face as your head rested against her shoulder, “I think I´ll pass out if you actually try to do anything right now”, your body was already exhausted from before and you felt the heat sinking into your limbs, leaving you relaxed but also hot enough to a point where you suspected that extreme arousal might actually make you lose consciousness. Tess smiled too then, “well we don´t want that, do we”, but as she said that you abruptly turned around and put your hands on her neck, staring at her as you pressed yourself against her to transfer some of the soap onto her, the feeling of it somehow more intense than you both expected, being chest to chest while water and foam were slicking you up, so you leaned in to kiss her, only briefly, but she pulled you back in the moment she could feel space between your lips again, she had no desire to stop as she felt you submitting to her force but it didn´t take long for her to lose her breath, so you both ended up standing there panting, desperate for air because the room was all fogged up.

both of you laughed then, “we´re fucking losing it” you said, hugging her as you closed your eyes and felt her wet chest against yours, “yeah I´m done for, we need to get out before we overheat and die”, so you both rinsed off together and stepped out, wrapping yourselves in big towels.

as you dried off and stood on the shower mat, your gaze fell to the sink, “two toothbrushes?” you exclaimed, exaggerating a scandalized tone, “is this the point where you confess to me that you´ve had a girlfriend all along?”. Tess shook her head, “yeah you figured it all out, I´m just using you to cheat, sorry” her tone dripping in irony, you couldn´t help but smile then as she pointed at what you were referring to, “that´s a fresh one for you, genius, because I know how easy it is to forget shit like that”. of course she was right, you could recall countless times of cursing yourself for not having packed something small but important like deodorant or toothpaste and you were charmed by her considerate ways, the idea of her wondering what you might need before you´d come to her place.“that´s really cute, thank you” but ,as always, she didn´t wanna hear it, so you quietly joined her by the sink and kept looking at her with soft eyes as you both brushed your teeth. Tess was facing the mirror but she could feel your gaze on her side profile and let herself enjoy it, not turning to you, just soaking up that quiet moment of intimacy, the sensation of having your undivided loving attention.

once you were both dressed in comfortable nightwear and back in bed you couldn´t help but smile to yourself as got comfortable under the covers, you were content to your core, thrilled by the fact that you were finally gonna sleep next to her again. you felt a delicious sense of satisfaction over the fact that nobody had any idea what you were doing, that it was your secret, in a sense it made you feel powerful, to have your joy all to yourself like that, without any witnesses but her. Tess looked down at you, pride bubbling up in her over the fact that you clearly loved your situation, “happy?”, she asked, knowing the answer, you nodded, moving yourself closer to her, “yeah this is perfect. god this mattress is like a cloud, my bed is not nearly this nice”, she smiled, her hand on top of the blanket that you´d pulled up to your shoulders, “well, I have a hot tip for you then, when you eventually get your own place, splurge on your bed instead of fancy decoration or furniture. trust me, your back will start hurting soon enough”. you laughed, “okay, noted. sweet of you to assume I´ll make enough money to have my own apartment, with the housing market as it is.. let's see about that one”, she smiled, “you have a point, yes. but I have faith, if everything fails, something tells me you won´t have trouble finding some older richer woman to take you in”, you joined in on the joke, “right, I´m getting great practice here. except for the rich part of course”.

she leaned down to kiss you, more tenderly than before, light kisses that didn´t burn but calm you, she liked having you under her, so she stayed like that for a moment until she got more comfortable next to you, sinking further down into her pillow. you remembered something then.

“I saw a book on your nightstand earlier”, “yes..” she said, a hint of apprehension in there, “what is it?” you asked, looking at her expectantly. “I actually haven't picked it up in ages”, her tone less unwavering than usual, “yes, I´m listening”, you could tell she was dodging the question. “okay but don´t you dare laugh”. “laugh?? what.. is it some trashy romance novel? weird erotica?”, she shoved your arm then, “no! is that what you think of me? really?”, you shrugged, “hey I have no idea what you´re into”. you were expecting something embarrassing but it turned out to be the exact opposite. she reached over to grab the book, holding it out to you so you could read the title yourself, you recognized the name on the cover. “Mary Oliver? you think I´d make fun of you for reading one of the best poets of all time? Tess come on, do you think I´m an asshole?”, she was relieved, for some reason she´d felt shy about admitting a more private interest of hers to you, “no of course not, I don´t know. I guess it just doesn´t really fit my image, does it?”, “your image? you really don´t want people to know you feel things deeply, hm? a bit too late with me, hate to break it to you, love”, she smiled then, at the casual use of the word “love”, and because it was true, there was no need to pretend around you, you´d already seen her at her most romantic and vulnerable, so she opened up a little. “it´s actually the one book I´ve had the longest. one day when I was in my late 20s I was going through it, like truly the worst fucking day ever, and for some reason ended up in a bookstore. I was just browsing, kind of losing my mind, and then came across this collection. I guess I liked that the poems were hopeful without being corny or overwrought. I kept going back to it whenever I was kind of.. I don´t know, lost?”. you gave that confession a few moments of respectful silence before saying, “that´s really sweet”. it was touching to you, that she was so shy about the fragile parts of herself, the ones that she had probably kept to herself for most of her life, concealed by her very convincingly tough aura.

“actually, could you maybe read me some of those”, you asked her, which made her turn to face you again, “what, like a bedtime story?” slightly confused, “no, just.. I like your voice. I like hearing you speak”. “yeah I am well aware, ever since a certain phone call a few weeks ago” she said with a smug expression, “oh shut up, this isn´t about that, I am trying to be sincere. I am asking you to read to me because I-” you almost slipped up and said “because I love you”, you saved yourself before the words could come out, but your abrupt pause was a giveaway, she knew what you´d thought, and it hit her, but she let it go, though she wouldn´t forget it, “because it would soothe me” you said instead. “okay, okay let me see if I can find some favorites. come over here” she said, pulling you closer, your head against her side then as she had put her arm around your back.

“I don´t have any practice of course, so bear with me” she prefaced, but the moment she read the first few words out loud, you were sucked into it immediately, the slow rhythm of it, the humm in her chest that you could feel because you were pressed against her, the deliberate pauses she made, it was deeply relaxing to listen to, so you closed your eyes. after a few verses she stopped, unsure if you´d want her to continue, but you urged her “hm you´re good at this, go on”, so she did, remembering the parts of certain poems she´d held close to her heart when she was younger, a sweet contrast, to be sharing something with a lover that she´d often turned to when she had been at her loneliest. a few minutes in, Tess could feel your drifting off, your breathing became slower and your head became heavier, so eventually she quietly put the book down and stayed like that, her fingers lightly running up down your spine as you fell asleep in her embrace. for a while she did not allow herself to move because she loved the feeling of having you nestled against her like that, but eventually her eyes got heavy and she switched off her bedside lamp, moving herself down to lay her head near yours, your breath warm against her face as she joined you in a dreamless sleep.

all the intense impressions from the day before had made it so that you both slept through the night without any interruptions, so by the time you first woke up the next day it was already around 9 am. for a while you laid there half-conscious, sprawled out comfortably over her large bed, your arms stretched out on either side, which eventually signaled to you that you were alone. reliably, Tess had gotten up before you, you were well aware by then that she was not the type to sleep in late, even on her off days, so you forced yourself to wake up for good and join her.

as you walked into the living room, slightly self-conscious about your disheveled appearance, she had her back turned because she was busy with the coffee machine, so a few seconds into watching her you cleared your throat, a bright smile on your face as she turned around, “oh hey! perfect timing, I just got done with this” she said, pointing at the table. the first thing that caught your eye was a vase filled with beautiful flowers, the kind that almost looked like they grew in the wild, dainty but colorful, shades of lilac and pink, they hadn´t been there the day before. “wow, those are stunning. wait, you were outside already?”, you asked, she nodded as she came over to you and gave you a light kiss on the cheek before urging you to sit down with her, “yeah, I wanted to make this a little nicer than just.. you know boring old toast. we have this bakery around here, I don´t often get stuff for myself but I thought you´d like it. oh and these yeah, I recall you liking flowers so, they stood out to me”. she said it all so nonchalantly but it was really special to you, that she´d gone out of her way to do all that because you´d have been fine with much less, you still felt a bit of sleep in your eyes as you looked at what was in front of you, “drink something first” she ordered, pointing at the three glasses of water, juice, and coffee in front of you, so you did, as she went on to explain what she´d bought. “okay, so, this one is a croissant with pistachio filling, it´s kind of what they´re known for, but I really like the white and dark chocolate swirl one so if you want we can share”, you agreed, watching her rip them both in two, placing the halves on your plate and watching you closely as you tried them, “oh wow, that´s fucking good” you said as the intense sweet flavor hit your tongue, she leaned back, satisfied, successful in her attempt to start your day off in an ideal way.

“you know, it´s kind of unfair that you always get dressed before me” you bemoaned, gesturing at her outfit as you both ate, “you always look better than me in the morning”, she shook her head, her mouth still half full as she mumbled “bullshit. that´s your warped perception, trust me, most people would prefer waking up to that” a wave of her hand in your direction as she said this. “well, not everyone has good taste, so” you joked, grinning at her, “right, and you do?”, she couldn´t deny that it felt good to be accused of upstaging you in the looks department even thought she vehemently disagreed. “clearly, look at this, I´m spoiled as hell”, she couldn´t really argue with that, still, she wondered if you actually thought you looked worse than her in that moment, because she had a hard time keeping herself from letting you finish your meal uninterrupted. she´d have liked to go over to you to slip her hand under your shirt, to feel your skin that was still warm from sleep.

for a while you both leisurely emptied your plates and cups and talked about whatever came to mind, enjoying the feeling of a slow summer morning, of sharing a domestic kind of intimacy. “so, what are we doing today?” you asked her eventually, eager to do whatever she wanted, your eyes glimmering with excitement at the thought of still having the whole day ahead of you. “well, I have an idea, but I´m gonna need you to hear me out...” she seemed slightly unsure, so you wondered what was gonna come “sure, tell me”. “okay, so, about 45 minutes outside of the city there´s this really beautiful hike but not the boring kind, trust me, it´s not just an endless fucking trail, it´s this forest landscape with a bunch of little rivers and a lake, I went there a lot when I was younger, and since it´s a weekday I doubt we´d run into many people. also-” you interrupted her then, “you don´t have to convince me Tess, I´m down, let´s do it. do you think I´m that unathletic, that I´m scared of a hike?” you said, smiling and giving her a questioning look, she smiled too then, “well I guess I´ll see what we´re working with once we´re there, right?”. “you´re scared you´ll have to carry me once I get tired, huh?” you teased, “oh, you´d like that wouldn´t you” she said, “probably yeah. but don´t worry, I´ll manage. in fact, maybe I´ll have to support you in the end, you know, since you´re..”, “old?” she finished the sentence for you, acting offended, “I´m not 70 sweetie, so let´s see who has to take a break first” she challenged you, leaning forward as she said it, you returned the energy, “won´t be me”, even though you knew she could probably triumph over you in terms of endurance, something told you she wasn´t the type to ever admit that she felt weak, both emotionally and physically.

after breakfast you spent some time on the couch, you half on her lap, her hands on you, a soft lazy exchange of touches and kisses until it was around 11:00 and you mustered up the energy to get ready as well.

by noon you were in her car, sharing a bottle of ice cold water because it was already warming up by that hour, the windows down and the radio playing as you found all kinds of things to talk about: classes you were gonna take in the new year, jokes from her side about you probably being a teacher´s pet considering you talent for charming people her age, you grilling her about details from work, gossip she could share, trying but failing to get her to spill some stuff about exes of hers, whether you fit her usual type, if she even had one, but Tess was steadfast in her refusal to share any of that, leaving you to tease her with speculations like “I bet there was some hot intern at work you had a thing with. maybe you fucked in the office or something, is that it?” until you reached your destination and quit the banter.

she hadn´t over-promised, the area was absolutely stunning; trees as tall as buildings as far as the eye could reach. you were at the beginning of a path that had a slow incline and would lead you to the top of a hill, the thick row of trees would offer enough shade for it to be an enjoyable hike and the little patches of flowers and plants you had never seen before offered enough to keep your eyes busy.

the first half hour passed very quickly, both you and Tess kept pointing out things to each other, stopping every now and then to inspect certain kinds of berries of particularly colorful kinds of flowers, her teasing you by ripping out some leaves and running them over your skin to catch you off guard with the sensation, getting a high pitched squeal out of you that made her bend over in laughter and earned her a kick to the shin from you. you liked watching her as you made your way deeper into the forest, it was hot to you, seeing her physically exhaust herself, her leg muscles straining whenever there was a steepness to your path, her breath heavier, her face dewy from the heat, she could feel your eyes on her as you went a little quiet and she liked it, knowing that you were checking her out, so eventually she stopped, leading you to a tree and backing you up against it as she grinned at you, waiting for you to follow your instinct, which you immediately did, pulling her in for a kiss as she slid her hands under your shirt and enjoyed the thrill of feeling you up in public, kissing your neck as you felt the bark of the tree against your head, your hair getting caught as you shut your eyes and sighed from the sensation of her sucking on the skin right above your collarbone until she pulled away and left you flushed and disheveled, acting all innocent as she said “shall we continue?” pointing at the path and walking away from you, a shake of your head as you tried to slow your breathing and to forget about the fact that for a second there you´d hoped that she might actually fuck you in public. one day, you thought, one day she´ll cave and do it.

about an hour in, you both felt a rush of gratitude as you reached an area that made you gasp in awe, “oh wow”, you said, as you looked at a river that was wide enough to swim in, a truly picturesque scene, and because you were both sweating and ready for a break by that point, you looked at each and realized that you were thinking the same thing. “should we?...” you asked, pointing at the river, Tess thought about it, “god that would feel so good right now, wouldn´t it? you know what, let´s do it, we can go in our underwear, it´ll dry fast if we sit there for a few minutes after”. “oh I was just talking about taking our shoes off and getting our legs in there” you said, surprised by her bold idea. “oh no, all or nothing baby. come on, it´ll be fun” she nudged you playfully, so you gave in because it did sound delicious in that moment, to cool your hot body, the sound of the rushing water practically luring you in. “alright, fuck it, let´s do it” you put your bag down and unzipped your shorts as she did the same.

as you stood there after getting rid of your shirt, Tess leered at you, pointing at your bra “I think you should take that off too” a smug grin on her face, you put your hand on your hip and raised your eyebrows, “right, so some stranger who is walking by can creep on me?”, she shook her head, grinning, “no. so I can creep on you.” emphasis on the I as she pointed at herself. you suppressed a smile and challenged her, “I´ll do it if you do it”. Tess sometimes forgot that you admired her body the same way she did yours, so your request surprised her but she just shrugged, “sure, okay”, moving her hands to her back to free herself of the last piece of fabric on her upper body, you doing the same thing, slightly shy once you were left topless, your hands over your tits as you looked at the water, dipping a toe in to gauge the temperature.

“oh fuck thats cold” you cold feel goosbumps forming on your skin and she was definitely bolder than you, immediately wading into the water, knee deep within seconds, braving through the initial shock, teeth clenched until she got over it, waving you in, her body mesmerizing, strong and almost god-like in the light of the midday sun. “come on, its fine, you can do it” she encouraged, endeared by the way you held your body then, arms clasped around yourself for comfort. you tensed up as you took a few steps in, Tess lowered herself in the meantime, submerging her whole body except for her head in the cool waves, “trust me sweetheart, this feels great”, so you just took the final step and mirrored what she was doing, a gasp as you felt the cold all over your skin, a few seconds of discomfort until you felt the utter satisfaction of being one with the elements like that on a warm summer day. “come here”, she ordered, so you swam over to her, feeling her pull you closer underwater, your hands around her neck then, your legs loosely wrapped around her back as you both stayed like that for a moment, the water running over you in a steady stream, the sound of birds and rustling leaves hanging in the air, a scene straight of of an Impressionist painting, shades of green and blue all around, accents of reflected sunlight on the surface of the river, you right in the middle, it was like you were truly outside of your lives for a moment, which was visible on your faces before you leaned in and kissed.

after a while you pulled back and felt the sudden urge to try and push her underwater, so you put your arms on her exposed shoulders and applied some force but she just looked at you, patient, smiling, unaffected, “nice try” she uttered, somewhat condescending; she was clearly not going to be overpowered and you knew it but it was a thing you liked to do sometimes, testing her strength to get a little turned on by how impossible it was to match it. eventually, you gave up but before you could think about swimming away she did what you had tried to do but she did it successfully, pushing you under the surface, not too hard but keeping her hands on your head for a few seconds as you shut your eyes and felt the silence of being totally engulfed by water, a feeling you hadn´t experienced in years, which admittedly wasn´t all that unpleasant. after she let go and you came back up for air you immediately splashed water onto her face, shaking your head as you wiped your eyes and adjusted your soaking wet hair. “you know” you said, staring at her, out of breath, “you could fully drown me right now and nobody would ever know. I didn´t tell a soul I´m here, so, you could get away with it”, she was moving her arms through the water in a soothing motion as she returned your look, amused by your strange remark, “well fuck, you got me. this whole thing was just an elaborate scheme to get you out here and kill you”, you kept standing where you were, water dripping down your chest as you responded “yeah I figured, that´s your thing right?. kidnapping fantasies”, she shook her head, “okay easy, a little too far”, but you weren´t done yet, “no? you don´t like that? thinking about tying me up and-”. before you could even finish the sentence she pulled you down and put her hand over your mouth to shut you up “okay, you´re fucking insane”. Tess reacted that way partially because you´d struck a cord, she didn´t have violent sexual fantasies but she did like the idea of restraining you, which got her riled up as you joked about it.

the whole ordeal ended in you both being half submerged in the waves and laughing, holding hands as you both laid down on your backs to float on the water, the sun warming your front side as the river cooled the back, a delicious contrast, about fifteen minutes of peaceful silence and bliss, your fingers interlaced so you wouldn´t drift away from each other, more relaxed than you could remember being in ages.

after you got out of the water you laid down in the grass by the shore, waiting for your skin to dry off before you could get dressed again, the breeze gently caressing your nearly nude bodies.

eventually you both sat upright, looking around at the scenery as you started talking again.

“can I ask you something personal?” you said after a while, your head resting on your knees as you looked at her from the side, Tess was ripping out single strands of grass absentmindedly as she looked back at you, “another question about perverted kinks I might have?”, you laughed, rolling your eyes at her, “no.”, “go on then”. “did you ever consider the whole getting married and having kids thing? when you were younger I mean”.

Tess had a joke on her tongue about not being the type of woman that people would love to bring home to their parents, but she decided to be earnest, sensing that you were actually interested. “kids definitely not. and marriage, hm.. well, when I was in my 20s I was busy just surviving and figuring my shit out, so I never thought about it back then, but sure, when I was in my 30s and people around me started having kids and settling down, it did cross my mind sometimes. but if I´m being totally honest, I think that wouldn´t have been the right way for me. maybe if I´d met the right person, but not a huge white wedding..” she shook her head at the thought, you were listening with deep interest, “maybe an elopement or something, I do like that idea. but also, I witnessed a good amount of nasty divorces in my time, truly awful shit, so I think this is actually a pretty fortunate situation to be in at my age” she motioned back and forth between you two, smiling conspiratively, you nodded, returning the smile. “that makes sense, I mean look at my parents.. that shit was not good”, she made a sound of agreement “yeah exactly. but what about you?”, she leaned closer then, tapping your leg. “me?”, “yes, what´s your stance on all that, you´re young, you still have time”. you sat up then, leaning back on your hands, staring off into the distance as you thought about it. “god I don´t know...”, Tess was still looking at you, “well I think you´re gonna make some lucky woman lose her fucking mind”, she chimed in, you stared at her then, “stop, no, I´m with you right now and I like it this way, I don´t want to imagine some potential future wife”. it struck Tess then that she´d implied the obvious, that you two were not going to be with each other for decades to come, so she softened a little as she realized that you did not like that thought at all, turning to humor to lighten the mood again. “well, you know, if your dad is still single then, I´ll make him take me as his plus one to your wedding.” your expression lightened then, touching her thigh for emphasis as you said, “well, if you want me to cheat on my wife on our wedding day, sure, go ahead and do that”. Tess pulled you towards her then, kissing your cheek before you laid your head on her chest, “sure, if you ever need a reason to break off an engagement, just call me, I´ll come be your homewrecker”.

a while later you both felt your bodies growing weaker from the heat of the sun and lack of food, so you made your way back down the trail and stopped at a place to eat lunch. not many words were exchanged during that meal because you were both starving and recovering from moving around way than you usually do in a day. by the time you were back in her apartment she announced, “okay, either I´ll have to make myself the strongest coffee ever or we have to take a nap. you decide”, it was an easy decision, “yeah, let´s sleep for a while I´m exhausted”.

as she laid down on the couch you went over to her record collection and looked for something that would be soothing as background music, something that could lull you to sleep. she had at least 40 records to choose from, all kinds of genres, mostly from the 70s to 90s but also some modern ones you recognized.“this is impressive” you marveled, as you turned some of them over, inspecting the slightly aged but beautiful covers, Tess already had her eyes closed and felt herself drifting off as she said “thank you. I mean, I´ve had some time to collect those, I think I got the first one at least 25 years ago”, you smiled to yourself then and couldn´t help but say what was on your mind, “so some of these are older than me huh?”, you could hear a groan from across the room, “oh that´s just perfect, really, very romantic of you. how about you pick one and get over here already”, she responded, unwilling to admit that she liked your teasing, so you made your choice and let some soft tune play as you laid down on top of her, her arms around your back, the side of your face positioned on her in a way that allowed you to hear her heartbeat.

it was a sweet feeling, to lay there with the balcony door cracked, a soft gust of wind every once in a while as you drifted in and out of sleep for about an hour, until you were both awake again but didn´t move yet, enjoying the quiet intimacy of the moment, because it was all you´d wanted for so long, to have the luxury of time, to spend some of it in comfortable silence, only communicating via light touches and caresses.

later that day you went outside one more time to go stock up on groceries for the week, Tess urging you to get whatever you might want to have at hand in the following days, asking you about which of her ideas for dinner you liked best, so you ended up spending a lot of time just walking around the isles and figuring out each other´s tastes, scanning the liquor shelves together to decide on what would be best to share on her balcony later. it hit you while watching her prepare dinner that night, not on your phone at all during that hour because you loved watching her move around the kitchen, that it felt like you´d lived together for a while, since it all fell into place so naturally. you tried to remain in the present moment but there was a slight pain you felt in your chest whenever you remembered that your situation was only temporary, that you hadn´t actually moved in with her, that you were a guest and would not get the chance to spend that many days in a row together again for a good while. Tess had similar thoughts as she felt you admiring her from across the room, pushing up her sleeves on purpose to show off her arms as she worked her way through the recipe. it was in her nature, that deep desire to center her life around someone else, to devote her energy and time to the needs of another person, she´d never loved living on her own even though she let other believe that she did, it gave her too much time to talk down on herself, to obsess over her shortcomings, to sit with herself long enough to get tired of her mind and go to sleep much earlier than needed. Tess did not thrive in isolation, she needed her alone time and space to unwind, certainly, but that night it was so clear to her, that she was meant to share her life with someone, that she was never happier than when she could tell that another woman was glad to be in her presence, glad to be taken care of by her, that she wanted to live with someone, with you, and would miss having you there quite intensely once you´d have to leave. thankfully, you both got yourselves out of that mood rather quickly once she was done cooking and you helped her set the table, a simple thing, yet so delightful to you, the sight of two plates, two glasses, the reminder that you were part of a union now.

you ate dinner on the balcony and spent another hour after that sipping on the drinks you´d bought earlier, a few candles on the table, the faint sound of people on the street below you, an atmosphere that made it very easy to forget the time and stay there together on the wooden bench you´d put a blanket over until it was about 11:30 pm, your eyes getting heavy from the booze and the outdoorsy activities earlier that day. for a moment you both rested against each other out there, almost falling asleep because the night air was the perfect temperature, but eventually you both managed to go brush your teeth and fall into bed, heavy and satisfied as she pushed you over to be big spoon, the warmth of her body against your back enough to make you fall asleep within minutes, comforted by her grip on you, even when she was exhausted, that same firmness to her touch, her determination to have you as close as possible.

the next day Tess was clear about the fact that she´d have to show you all her favorite spots downtown, after spending the day before outside of the city, so she took you to two cafes, one for the sake of the coffee the other for the sake of their lunch options, so up until 2 pm you were busy just sitting around in the sun, trying all of her usual orders, approving of them, a little jealous that she had access to that many nice spots, you could imagine studying in those cafes for hours. “maybe during finals season you can come visit for a weekend, I can watch you do that” she joked as you told her that, “you´d like that? just watching me type on my fucking laptop?”, she shrugged, smiling as she ripped a piece off the pastry you were sharing, “I´d enjoy watching you do pretty much anything, sweetheart. also yes, I think it would be hot, you being a nerd right in front of me”, teasing you a little, “my grades aren´t high enough to qualify as nerdy I fear”, she pretended to be shocked, “no? well, we can work on that”, “we? you´d help me how exactly?”, “I don´t know. quiz you, promise you a gift for when you come back with perfect scores”, “okay, I do like the sound of that.”.

that day was a little fresher than the day before so at night you had the idea of taking a bath together, which quickly taught you the lesson that sex underwater only sounded good in theory and was a mess in practice, so you settled on sitting across from each other in the tub with your legs touching, every now and then leaning in to kiss, you putting your lips to her knee after, which was an unexpected tenderness that hit her right at her core, the sight of you bending your head down to places a few soft kisses on her leg.

on your fourth day with her, it rained from morning til night, so it was an easy decision to stay in bed til noon, to be lazy and stay in your loungewear and order take out, putting on a film while relaxing in the living room as it kept pouring outside, chatting about anything and everything, coaxing more and more personal information out of each other, longer, more intimate stories about your lives, passing the time on the couch, switching between various states of undress, paying no attention to what was playing on the TV. later that night you both got the sudden urge to go outside and get a drink, so you put on some nice clothes, stood in the bathroom together as you fixed your hair and felt a shared giddiness over the prospect of walking arm in arm to the bar she´d picked out, the streets still smelling of wet earth, the moon almost full, people hurrying to their dinner dates or back home, that buzz of the night time in a bigger city. you´d both come to realize that you shared a love for date nights, the cozy darkness, the intimate feeling of sitting in the corner of a crowded room somewhere at that hour, slightly buzzed, faces flushed, hands innocently resting on each other´s thighs as you spoke, you´d both miss it, having a reason to randomly step out of the house at 10pm. you´d miss the feeling of walking up the stairs together a few hours later, tipsy, laughing at each other for almost missing a step and stumbling, grabbing each other´s arms for support. it was a light, effortless kind of joy that made you glow, your faces permanently stuck in a smile while you washed your faces together and helped each other out of your clothes, clumsily feeling each other up before you fell into a deep sleep.

on Friday you were ready to move around again after you spent majority of the day before being lazy, so you did whatever came to mind as you walked around the city together. after spending some time at the local park and getting lunch, you came across a pretty large thrift store and decided to just take a look around, but it quickly turned into you getting an idea: you wanted to find her clothes you thought she´d look hot in, so you picked a few shirts here and there, both longsleeve and shortsleeve, a jacket you thought that would suit her, until she eventually told you to slow down with the makeover quest, amused by your enthusiasm over styling her. it moved her in a way, to see that you knew her well enough by then to skip over any clothes that were too feminine, briefly wandering over the the men´s section to check out the bigger vintage tees, it contrasted the feeling she´d often had as a young girl, being pressured by others to dress more like a “lady”, something was healing about it, to have you picking out styles for her that actually matched her taste.

she was reluctant at first but after enough begging and kissing her she gave in and changed into some of the things you´d handed to her, unable to deny that you had an eye for her physique and what would suit her, what she´d feel comfortable in. you practically gawked at her as she looked at herself in the mirror. “you know, maybe I fucked up here, you look a little too good, I don´t want other girls to start hitting on you” you mused, your eyes traveling up and down her body, which got a laugh out of her, “I think you need to chill a little with all that praise, I´ll start believing you eventually” she wasn´t going to admit it, but she did enjoy it, the fact that you never held back with compliments, that you almost made her feel shy or blush at times, which was something that usually never happened to her. “well you should, I´m not just being nice” you insisted, as she came over to you and let you inspect her from up close, “you know, I also have some ideas for things I´d like to see you in” she said, a smile as she lightly traced your bare arm with her fingers, “oh you don´t have to convince me, I´ll try on whatever you want” you said, a smugness to your expression, “anything?”, you nodded, “hm, good to know”, her tone gave away what she was thinking. “what kind are you into? lace? satin? see through?”, she shook her head, not expecting that bold of an answer but enjoying the back and forth, “I´m not telling you that”, “you should buy me something”, you said, batting your eyelashes at her, “buy you lingerie? you want the sugar mommy thing, is that it?” she teased, “jesus how do you even know what that is Tess..” you said, slightly unnerved, which was funny to her, “baby I´m not ancient, I know things. but sure, yes, I will gladly buy you something pretty, although I only really give a fuck about what´s underneath”.

the rest of that day passed very quickly, the way the whole week had, by Saturday morning you couldn´t believe that you´d already spent that much time at her place because it felt like you´d just arrived the day before, like you were at the beginning of your stay, but to your dismay, it was already coming to an end.

the days before Tess had been the chef for dinner or you´d gone out to eat, so for your final night at her place you decided that you´d prepare her something. there was a pasta dish that you´d perfected over the years because it was your comfort meal, so you told her to sit back and relax as you assembled all the ingredients you´d need, but she wouldn´t, she leaned against the kitchen counter instead and watched you, enthralled by the sight of you carefully picking herbs off their stems, tasting the sauce over and over to get it to the exact spice level you wanted it, your face shiny from the effort, your cheeks flushed from the steam of the pasta water, all of it turned her on but she tried her best to not get in your way and touch you too much, only giving you the occasional hug from behind here there, whispering sweet things about how good you looked working with your hands, breaking a sweat.

one thing that you´d done the entire week was to switch between sitting across from each other and next to each other during meals at home because both of the options had their own appeal; sitting next to each other was sweet and intimate, legs touching as you ate, easy access, stealing touches here and there, sitting across from each other was sexier and more charged, since that´s the way you´d sit on a first date, that unavoidable eye contact, the almost confrontational nature of being in your direct line of sight, the ability to lean back and steal glances while the other person wasn´t aware of your gaze, or pretended not to be because it felt good to be looked at like that.

on that last night, you sat across from each other, inside because the weather had gotten a little too fresh to eat on the balcony. as soon as Tess took the first bite, you realized that you liked it a lot, the roles being reversed, you watching closely for her reaction, hoping for signs of pleasure, which came, an approving nod from her as soon as she swallowed, “no notes”, she said, smiling, charming you, a satisfied look on your face as you joined her in eating. what Tess didn´t know, was that you´d picked up on certain preferences of hers over the week, so you´d added things to the sauce you usually wouldn´t have added, because it was more important to you that it would be to her exact taste, you couldn´t haven cared less about your own feelings about the meal, which was a beautiful thing, to be so preoccupied with pleasing someone else that you forgot about yourself in the process. you could understand why she was always so eager to be of service, you saw the appeal as you watched her clear the plate, not leaving one piece of the pasta untouched.

after you were both done, Tess quickly realized that she didn´t want to waste any of the remaining hours you had left being unable to touch you, so she suggested that you should move to the couch, grabbing some chocolate from the kitchen, breaking a part off to offer it to you as a palette cleanser before getting comfortable next to you. by then, you knew how you liked to sit together when you wanted to talk properly, your legs on her lap, her hand on your thigh as you sat there, eyeing each other until you broke the silence. “I can´t believe this already our last night..” your tone quiet and earnest, she nodded, “yeah, me neither. feels like it has only been a day or two, honestly, the time passed way too fucking quickly” you cracked a smile then, moving some of her hair out of the way to place your hand on her neck, a lovestruck look.

during the week neither of you brought it up because it would have been a mood killer but since it was the end of the week Tess felt comfortable asking you “so uhm. did he reach out to you at all while you were here?”, apprehension in there, you knew of course who the “he” in question was. a shake of your head, “no, thank god. probably because I told him I´d call this weekend, I guess I´ll do that tomorrow”. she nodded, absentmindedly caressing you, “hm, good, that´s good. didn´t hear from him either. be honest, did it cross your mind at all?” she genuinely wanted to know if you´d just been good at bluffing or if you´d actually forgotten about the potential horror of being found out by him during your stay with her.

you thought about it, “surprisingly no, I didn´t think about it, at least not consciously. I guess because I was just glad we had this time to ourselves and I really didn´t want to ruin it for myself by worrying” she agreed, “yeah same for me, I kind of forgot about it til just now to be honest” you shared a moment of silence, contemplating the issue. “looks like we´re both great at compartmentalizing hm?”, you joked, grinning at her, Tess couldn´t help but laugh then, “you´re not wrong there, we´re pretty fucking shameless if you really think about it. the next time he calls me I´ll make small talk and act like I didn´t just spend the week…”, “fucking his daughter?” you completed the thought for her, purposely putting it that way. Tess shoved you then, pretending to be scandalized, “wow, you have such a way with words. I was gonna say that I spent the week having the time of my life” she countered, exaggerating a little, trying to get you to feel bad about your crass comment but you knew her too well, “bullshit, you didn´t wanna say that”, she nodded, amused, “maybe, but it´s true. besides, you´re right in the sense that that is of course the one thing he´d focus on. jesus…”.

you could tell that she was getting sucked into a spiral that she´d managed to stay out of all week, so you leaned closer and took her face in your hands, your tone gentle and sweet, “hey, it´s fine, relax” placing a few kisses on her face before reminding her “he won´t find out, no way. how would he?”. she couldn´t argue with that, you´d both been careful and you were both more than decent liars, so she relaxed again, soothed by your touch. “right, yes. but still, we´re kind of fucking insane for this” she could smile again by then, you did too, only shrugging in response, not a care in the world over potential danger, you were simply too happy. she gave you a kiss then, a proper one, to forget all about the previously discussed subject and it worked, within seconds she was too busy pushing you back against the couch cushion and pulling your shirt over your head to think of anything else but the feeling of your warm body in her hands.

later that night, after you´d spent a good amount of time just laying in bed with the window open and talking because you didn´t want your time to be cut short by sleeping too early, you had something on your mind. you rolled over onto your side, placing your hand on her stomach as you looked at her, “Tess” you said, an unusually timid tone which was endearing to her, “yes sweetie, what is it?”, she moved herself up on the pillow a little to signal that she was listening. “well, I was just thinking, my roommate isn´t coming back until next week..”, “okay. and that means?”, she said, not catching on yet, eyeing you curiously, so you just put it out there. “well, I was wondering if I could persuade you to stay a night...”. she was confused for a moment, “what, in your dorm?”, you nodded, a shyness to your demeanor all of a sudden, waiting for a response. she laughed to herself, “well, wouldn´t that be a little fucked up, someone my age hanging out in a dorm?”, you shook your head, “oh no, I have seen so many odd boyfriends coming and going, nobody would even blink an eye at you, really I mean it”. she smiled then, staring off into space as she considered your proposal, muttering “well, I´d have to take Monday off work..”, so you doubled down, increasingly desperate to prolong your time with her, your hand on her forearm then, a strong grip as you pleaded with her. “please, come on, just one night. I could show you around, it would be fun, I could let you get an image of how I live, now that I got one of how you do”. you had a point there, she couldn´t deny that she liked the idea of getting a glimpse into your life like that, “hmm” you could see that she was close to cracking, so you got up and climbed on top of her, bending down to kiss her neck lightly as you kept whispering “please”, which gave her vivid flashbacks to how you´d first come onto her that night you´d first gotten together, the way she´d been broken by the sound of your begging, and it was working yet again, she sighed and held onto your back as she finally caved and said “okay, okay yes. fuck it, let´s do it”, a shudder going through her from the feeling of your hot breath against her skin, your weight on top of her, until you finally let go and looked at her with the face of someone who´d just won a battle. “you´re fucking killing me here, lady” she said, shaking her head, grabbing your waist as you kept sitting on her legs, a bright red blush on her cheeks, “am I?” you whispered, pleased with yourself for getting under her skin. secretly, Tess loved it, that you often pushed her buttons, that you weren´t discouraged by any of her moments of reluctance but took them as a challenge, she never got frustrated by your teasing because it was too delicious, to be played with like that, to be guided towards certain pleasures she´d deny herself if it wasn´t for you insistence.

the next morning after having breakfast out on the balcony for the last time, basking in the sun with your legs crossed over each other´s, she helped you pack your things. as you were checking around her bedroom to see if you´d missed a piece of clothing or something else, she grabbed a shirt of hers that you´d worn to bed a few times that week and handed it to you, “here, take this too”. you hesitated for a moment as you reached for it, “really? you won´t miss it?”, she shook her head, “not at all. besides, I like the idea of you sleeping in my clothes when you´re not here. I´m not being that selfless”, you laughed, “okay, well in that case I´ll gladly take it”.

as she opened her apartment door you took a dramatic final look around, a gentle squeeze on your shoulder as she said, “hey, don´t act like you´ll never see this place again, you´ll be back”, “you think so?” you asked, “oh, I know.” she proclaimed, confident, so you smiled and clung to that sound of conviction as you both made your way downstairs and headed towards her car.

the drive was not that long, about 3 hours, a little slower than by train but not long enough to actually be exhausting. you drove an hour, then stopped for coffee, drove another, then got some mediocre lunch and walked around for a bit before passing the final hour with you feeding her individual pieces of candy as you got comfortable in the passenger seat and handled the job of choosing songs that fit the mood, every now and then getting a rise out of her by touching her where you knew she liked to have your hands the most, while she was trying to keep her eyes on the road.

around 3 pm you reached your destination, she´d of course picked you up in your college town once before, so she had no trouble finding the street you lived on. the semester wasn´t going to start until a week later, so the streets weren´t that crowded even though it was a Saturday, you could tell that about half your fellow students were back, while the other half was probably still either still back home or somewhere savoring the last few days of freedom before things would go back to business again.

Tess vaguely recalled some of the buildings as you walked up to your dorm, but she found herself liking the atmosphere more than she´d expected, her own college town had been more urban, so it was interesting to see a campus that was more on the isolated side.

once you were in your room, you opened the window to let some fresh air in and sat down on your bed as Tess inspected the details of your space, trying not to feel the slight burn of self-consciousness in your chest as you watched her curiously inspecting the details of your space, but for once she didn´t have anything to say, she was genuinely absorbed in the attempt to figure you out, to see how you liked to live, how you made yourself feel at home and comfortable. after a few minutes she joined you on the bed, the two of you sprawled out as much as the rather small bedframe allowed you to be, arms and legs touching in various places as you laid there, staring at the ceiling, relaxing after the drive. after brief moment of comfortable silence you could hear her laugh to herself and utter “god..” while shaking her head, so you turned to look at her, “what? what is it?”. she turned her head too then, “it´s just. this is pretty fucking mid-life crisis-ey of me, isn´t it?” her hands in the air, vaguely gesturing around, “ending up in a dorm room again at my age. I think I can´t deny that that´s pretty cliché mid-life of me”. you laughed, endeared by her moment of self-deprecation, “well if it makes you feel better, people my age have actually recently coined the term quarter-life crisis, so we´re kind of in it together”, she laughed too then, “what, really? that´s a thing?” you nodded, she considered it, “well, I think the takeaway there should be that we´re all in crisis at all ages, huh”, you nodded, reaching for her hand, lacing your fingers through hers, “exactly, that´s the enlightened take. so, no need to feel bad about yourself or question your weird behavior, if it´s gonna be ongoing, right?” you joked, “sure, I can just mess around with a girl in college and free myself of the knowledge that it´s technically kind of pathetic” you gasped as she finished that sentence, overly dramatic, “pathetic?? ouch”. Tess pulled your hand up to kiss it then, patting your head afterwards, “not on your part, baby”.

after about 45 minutes of regaining some of your energy, you both made your way outside again and you gave her the promised tour of all the places you usually spent most of your days at: your lecture halls, the buildings where you had your seminars, the dining hall, the little park that was located in the middle of your campus. the thing that made it easier on your part was that you that yours was an impressive one as far as college campuses went, large historic buildings, a lot of nature surrounding your area, a rather idyllic vibe to it all. Tess seemed to have a genuine interest in everything you showed her, which warmed your heart. she kept asking you things that you didn´t even consider telling her about because they seemed minute to you, but to her it was a delight, to finally get to know the structure of your daily life, she couldn´t remember the last time she´d been so eager to get a picture of how someone moved through the world, and it hit her as you showed her around, how you´d awakened a curiosity in her, a deep need to know as much as she could about the person she felt so devoted to.

as you walked down a particular path you often took after classes, you pointed towards a wooden bench under a large tree that was still in bloom, “oh see, this is where I spent many miserable afternoons, just listening to music and feeling sorry for myself, it was great”. Tess laughed as she went over and sat down, looking around to see the view you´d had all those times, “I hope those days are over now”, you joined her, stretching your legs out and sighing, “you think you magically fixed all my issues?”, you teased as she put her arm behind your back, “all of them? jesus, care to tell me what that endless list entails?”, she joked back in a low tone, “oh you know. general melancholy, loneliness, self-pity, being into women that could be my mom, the usual” she shoved your leg then, “you´re disgusting”, but you could see a hint of a smile out of the corner of your eye.

“but for real, I don´t have to worry about you, do I?”, it felt good, to know that she felt the need to make sure you´d be fine on your own, you assured her, “no, I´m much better now than last year. but feel free to maybe worry a little, I don´t mind that..” you said, grinning at her. “oh and you´re gonna have to get better at texting, because I can´t call you during lectures or while I´m at the library”, she laughed, “so I can keep you from actually learning something?”, you shook your head, “I´ll only do it during the boring ones. promise”, “right, sure, I´ll see what I can do about that”.

“would sexting encourage you?”, Tess made a face of disgust then, “no? you think that´s my thing, typing sleazy shit into my phone?”, you knew she was not the type for all that but the image was funny to you, “okay jeez, guess I´ll find other ways to fantasize”, “I can send you audio messages of me reading some book, that should do the trick”, she teased, “fuck off. I never should have told you about that, it really went to your head that I love your voice”, she smiled, leaning closer to you then, whispering in your ear as she held your face, “do you?”, you sighed, defenseless against her, a shiver on your neck as she kept fucking with you until you eventually pushed her off and tried to get your face to a normal temperature again, a satisfied expression on her face as she backed off because a few people were walking by.

“last year this place was my depression spot, but this semester I can sit here and think about you instead, how does that sound?”, you said after a few moments of silence, “better. much better” she did like that image, “or you know. you could focus on your academic goals, just a thought”, and as if she´d summoned her by mentioning it, you spotted a former professor of yours from afar as she was walking in your general direction.

at first you thought she might pass you by but you locked eyes and smiled, so you tapped Tess on the shoulder, “she was my prof last year, I think I should say Hi”, but you barely got the sentence out before she already stood a few feet away and greeted you, so you stood up to get a little closer. “hey, good to see you!”, you returned the politeness and exchanged a few words about what you´d done over the summer, she´d been one of better professors you´d had, actually good at teaching and always eager to get to know her students, asking what was wrong if anyone ever seemed out of it during class, so it was easy to make conversation.

“you´re not taking any of my classes this year, right?” she asked, signaling disappointment, you shook your head “no, sadly not, but maybe next semester”, “right, well I´m sure we´ll see each other around still”, Tess was observing the exchange with keen interest and as your professors´s eyes wandered over to her you said “oh yeah, I´m here with a.. family friend, to show her around because she lives nearby”, Tess gave a brief nod and smile, amused by your choice of words. “then I´ll leave you guys to it, have a lovely time! see you around!” she´d used your name at the end of that sentence rather affectionately and Tess watched her with a hint of judgment in her eyes as she walked away, immediately shaking her head as you sat back down on the bench, laughing to herself, “wow”.

“what?” you asked, confused by that reaction “she was fucking flirting with you”, “huh??” you said, unsure if you´d heard her right, “oh come on, it was so obvious”, you protested, “Tess, she has a husband and two kids”. “that doesn´t mean shit”, she wouldn´t back down, “it doesn´t??”, your expression one of disbelief then. “no. married women are freaks, trust me, I´ve had my experiences”, you couldn´t believe that she was insisting on it but then it dawned on you that she was jealous because they were both women around the same age, because she maybe thought that she fit your type, so you decided to mess with her, flattered by the wave of possessiveness that had come over her just from watching you be polite to someone who shared some of her characteristics. “well, in that case I seem to have a good back up plan if you ever decide to dump me”, grinning as you said this.

she immediately shook her head, her index finger moving back and forth in the air, a show of protest, “oh no, if this ends, it´ll be because of you, I´m not going anywhere, so you´ll have to do the breaking up if you wanna get rid of me”, you returned the energy, “well I won´t do it either, so, I guess we´re stuck with each other?”, she smiled, leaning back and closing her eyes as the clouds parted and let the sun through, her face turned towards the warmth, “seems that way”.

the rest of the afternoon you spent getting lunch and coffee at a place you often went to, sitting in the sun and people watching, letting the time pass while you walked around, stopping here in there to walk into stores or buy a cold drink. naturally, you ended up back in your room with nothing else to do but get rid of the clothes you´d sweat through while walking around all day and getting your hands on each other, clumsy at first since you had gotten used to her much bigger bed, but you made it work, her hand between your legs as you made out, getting you worked up and soaked before she got down between your thighs and ate you out like she hadn´t done it in weeks, even though it had just been a day, messy and desperate, her hands pulling you down onto her face again each time she could feel you moving away, pushing your legs open if you squeezed them together, doing her best to turn you into an absolute mess, turned on from your desperate whining, your fingers in her hair, the taste of you all over her face, she´d never get tired of it, having you in your most vulnerable state, all to herself.

the thing that you realized while living with Tess was that she was a spontaneous lover, she didn´t have specific times of day where she needed it the most, she wasn´t a morning or a night person, it was unpredictable and you loved it that way, that she sometimes got random bursts of intense desire during the day, it was one of your favorite things about being around her so much, that you´d sometimes just be relaxing on the couch together and somehow end up having the most mind blowing sex at a random time like 5 pm. she realized while you were living with her how much she loved it, not planning hook-ups, but just responding to desire whenever it called to her because she had someone close by who wanted her, all the time, the reciprocal thing of “if you´re in the mood, I´m in the mood”. your week together had given you both a new relationship to your sexuality, it had become more playful and free but also more intense because the deep emotional bond was there. she never came hard with hookups because as much as she did not want to admit it, Tess was absolutely the type to need that loving component to really lose herself and get off in a truly satisfying way.

you kept laying there for a while after, you fully undressed and she in her underwear, touching and caressing each other as you rested your eyes for a moment, before you got up to shower and get changed before going out for a drink.

you knew where to take her, there weren´t many bars to choose from but one was a safe bet, it was the one that your roommate and you frequented most nights because it was not too overpriced, not too far away from campus, and had a veranda that was ideal for the warmer seasons. you and Tess stayed there for about an hour and a half, debriefing your day, you asking her for her honest opinion about your college, the vibe she was getting, her admitting that she was actually kind of jealous of you because being there had made her feel nostalgic for that time of her life even though it had been rough at times, she swirled the ice around in her drink as she thought about how to put it.

“the thing you´ll understand when you´re closer to my age is that even though you did suffer in your younger years and in college, you´ll still miss it, the specific feeling of being young but old enough to do whatever you want, living with friends, doing stupid shit for fun that would feel weird at an older age. I am not saying you have it easy, not at all, but just. try to soak this up” she said, gesturing around at the other people sitting outside, “you should try to enjoy your last year, really, don´t let me distract you from all of this too much.”. you smiled at her the entire time she spoke because you really liked it when she was more earnest, she always put things in a way that made sense to you, and you were grateful to have her perspective, you pulled her hand over onto your lap then, “I will think of you a lot, but yes, I´ll try to make the most of it, thank you for caring about all that, really”.

Tess patted your hand, “you should do shrooms or something, really get the most out of your student life” she joked, “oh sure, yeah, great advice”, “wait, you never told me, are you a party goer?”, you narrowed your eyes at her, “didn´t I tell you about how much of a loser I was last year? my friends dragged me out a few times but other than that, no”, she laughed then, leaning back and eyeing you with a hint of intrigue, imagining something, you could tell, so you asked, “what?”.

“oh I was just thinking about how you might look when you´re drunk and dancing with people”, she liked the image, you in some dark room with colorful lights illuminating your smiling face as you moved in unison with another girl, or multiple girls, it did turn her on, she couldn´t deny it.

“well, I wish you could find out” you said, smiling at her, leaning your head on your hands, “if I do end up going out, I´ll probably send you drunk texts and pictures, so there´s that” you added, amused by the idea of her receiving some overly affectionate messages from you at 2 am, she was too, “sounds good to me. what kind of drunk are you? touchy? the one that ends up crying? aggressive?”, you laughed, “I think I´m an emotional drunk, just showering everyone in compliments and random confessions of how much they mean to me, how pretty they are, etc.”, “okay damn, you´re making me jealous there”. “yeah with you it wouldn´t end well, I´d embarrass the fuck out of myself”, she knew what you were alluding to, the fact that “I love you so much” would probably slip out multiple times, “I´d like to see that to be honest” she admitted, you threw her a playful look “one day maybe”.

around 10 pm you were back in your room, after a slightly tipsy walk back, and tired to make it as homely as possible by lighting a few candles and pulling the curtains half shut, leaving the window cracked, so you could hear some of the faint nightlife noise, laughter from a drunk group of people here and there, a few birds still singing at that hour, nothing city-like about it, no cars honking or sirens blaring because your town was rather secluded. Tess was soothed by it, the change of scenery, and you could tell as you saw her laying there in your bed with her arms behind her head, her eyes closed and a faint smile on her sun-kissed face as she waited for you to join her, her freckles visible even in the dim light. you snuggled up to her because there was not enough space for you both to spread out the way you had in her bed, but neither of you minded, it almost felt the way sleepovers had felt as a kid, being huddled up like that, she felt younger in that moment and she liked it, it was

comforting to be so far away from everything that tethered her to her usual routine, in the middle of someone else´s life.

you laid there with your arms wrapped around each other, your face against her chest, the blanket only pulled up to your waist because it was warm enough, both quiet for a while until you spoke up. “so. when are we seeing each other again”,your tone deeply serious, which was endearing to Tess, the fact that she was still there and you were already thinking about your reunion, clearly anxious about how long it would be until then, she thought about it as she slipped her hand under your shirt.“hm, let´s see, I can´t really take off work again in the next few weeks, but weekends are always good. and I know you should probably try to settle in here before coming back to my place, so how about the weekend after next one?”, you nodded, “okay, yes. oh wait, I don´t have classes on Mondays, so I could stay a day longer, I don´t mind if it´s a work day for you, we still have the morning and I´ll take a late train so we can have dinner too. or is that stressful for you?”, “no, that´s perfect, let´s do it. two weeks, that should be fine right?”, she said while glancing down at you, your grip on her suddenly tighter as you thought about the time you´d spend apart, you sighed, “should be, yeah. but I´ll still miss you”, she caressed your back in a soothing motion then, “I know, me too”.

that night you both woke up multiple times but you weren´t bothered by it because you just used the few minutes you were awake to change positions to lay more comfortably again and to give each other some sleepy kisses on the shoulder or back or whatever body part was closest, hands always finding their way back under the fabric of your clothes, a lazy sensuality to those little windows of time where you were awake during the night.

the next morning you grabbed breakfast at a place around the corner because you knew Tess was a coffee freak and would love their seasonal menu of various cold brews and you were right, she was blissed out sitting there with you in the morning sun. “you´re trying your best to make me come back here, aren´t you?” she said after she´d gotten up to order herself a second beverage, you just smiled, “maybe. is it working?”, she laughed, running her hands through her hair and taking in the surroundings, she had to admit she´d come to like it there, “kind of yeah. who knows, maybe one day I´ll get a spontaneous burst of recklessness and come surprise you”, your eyes lit up then, “please do that, I´m not kidding.” you loved the idea of living your life, going about your day, while knowing that there was always a slim chance that she might randomly appear at your doorstep one evening, she could tell, so she´d at least consider it, “okay, I´ll see what I can do”.

your last few hours together were marked by that beautiful feeling of seeing a town right before it wakes up, the sun golden but not hot yet, only a few people besides you out on the streets, both you and Tess could appreciate the feeling of being in the middle of the city on a busy night, but for your farewell it was ideal to just sit there together and soak up the quiet, warm, almost dreamlike scenery.

what you´d both realized during the course of your week together, was that neither of you were afraid to hold hands in public, to be affectionate and obviously romantically involved. you´d never even had the discussion if it was okay, most likely because you were both so aware of the limited amount of time you had together, that you wouldn´t let fear of judgment keep you from pulling your hand to your face or her from kissing your cheek when you were close enough to do it. there was a relaxed, natural feeling to your tenderness with each other, it was never awkward or clumsy, both of you had the instinct to reach out, all the time, whether you were sitting next to each other, or standing in line somewhere, or laying in bed, your hands always seemed to find their way to the exact spot where the other person wanted it, it hadn´t taken long at all for you to give each other exactly the kind of intimacy you needed. Tess had often been accused of being aloof and distant, even with women she was having sex with, so it surprised her to find that it wasn´t just an intrinsic issue, that she wasn´t fundamentally unromantic or fucked up, that she´d just been waiting to meet someone who brought that side of her out without force, which was a central thing about your appeal to her, the way you loved her without pushing her to give you more of herself than she was willing to, because you trusted that whatver she would offer would be more than enough.

in return, you loved that she was so calm in her obsession over you, it was clear that she was deeply into you, but she left you space to breathe, Tess knew that you didn´t need her to smother you to feel loved, and it created this deeply peaceful bond, one where both of you felt held and seen without ever feeling caged in, quite the opposite, you´d never felt freer than when you held and kissed each other, felt each other there at night or in the morning.

around 11 am you walked Tess to her car, both of you walking much slower than necessary, eventually reaching the spot where she´d parked and unsure what to do, now that it was time to say goodbye.

she put her bag in the backseat and came over to where you were standing, a parallel to how you´d greeted each other at the start of the week, her resting against the passenger door, you facing her, a silence, a shared moment of unwillingness to part ways, something somber and fragile in both of your expressions. you nervously shifted your weight as she looked at you, the way the light was hitting your face, the way your neck was bent, that space right above your shoulder where she´d placed countless kisses the days before, suddenly overcome with utter devastation over the fact that she´d return to an empty apartment, that she´d sleep alone again, that she wouldn´t feel you moving next to her in the night, that she wouldn´t spend her afternoons on the couch with your head in her lap. Tess couldn´t stop listing all the things she´d miss and without realizing a few tears had formed in her eyes, you caught it, looking at her while she was so lost in thought that she didn´t even realize until you stepped closer and touched her arm, a hint of a smile on your face as you asked, “hey, are you crying?”, unsure if you should comfort her or delight in the fact that she was so affected by the idea of your absence.

she was slightly embarrassed and adjusted her posture to seem more secure as she briefly dabbed the corner of her eyes, “no…” a very unconvincing tone, because she knew you knew. you put your arms around her waist then, leaning in to kiss her temple, staring at her until she collected herself and met your eyes, her hands around your neck as she said, “listen, I know I am not the best at making speeches, but I need you to know that this whole week has been a dream, really. I can´t remember the last time I had this many good days in a row.” she was deeply serious about it, so you were too as you answered, “me neither. thank you isn´t enough to be honest, there was literally not one moment that I didn´t enjoy”, Tess could tell you meant it, and it made her feel good about herself, because that was all she´d hoped for, that you´d leave her place feeling better than when you´d come there, and she´d succeeded, very much so.

“so, in two weeks then?” you said, a gentle smile, still holding onto her, “yes. be good in the meantime, eat well, sleep well, have some fun, all that. okay? none of that shit from last year” there was something parent-like about the way she´d phrased that, so you couldn´t help but say, “yes, mommy” which earned you a light slap from her, she wouldn´t let you get under her skin with that word, she was too stubborn to admit that it kind of turned her on. “shut up, I mean it! if you don´t look healthy the next time I see you, we´ll have a problem, miss”, you liked her slightly stern way of caring for you, it was a hot contrast to her softer side that you´d brought out, “okay, noted. I guess if there´s a serious issue I´ll just come to your place for a day, that should fix whatever´s wrong with me” you said in a low tone, playing with a strand of her hair, doing your best to make her feel weak in her knees. Tess had gotten used to it and grown to enjoy it, your shameless way of toying with her.

“sure, if there´s an emergency, I´ll play nurse” she teased, gaining the upper hand again by giving you a deep kiss that left you flushed and frustrated over the fact that you´d have to wait fourteen days to do that again. “I´ll fucking miss you.” you uttered, shaking your head, you knew it was time to let go, because otherwise you´d stand there til nightfall, but you had one last thing to say, a stillness to you as you told her, “I love you.” the warmest smile on her face that you´d ever seen, a brief moment of her basking in the light of those words before she pulled you in for a final hug, whispering “I love you too.” as her head briefly rested on your shoulder, her arms tight around you, both of your eyes closed, your hearts beating slowly in unison. there was nothing stressful about that confession because the feeling of loving each other had been so palpable between you all the days before, neither of you were shocked or surprised, you were just full of warmth, flooded by a deep sense of ease, the kind that fills your body with a sensation that evokes the visual of a river of gold, running slowly through your core, spreading to your face, leaving you tingling all over, close to sighing from relief, from joy, from everything you´d come to cherish about your connection.

for a few seconds you stayed like that until you squeezed each other´s hand and separated. once Tess sat behind the wheel, she pulled the window down, so you could lean in and rest your arms there for a moment, looking at her all doe eyed as you said, “call you later tonight?”, her hand on your arm, “tomorrow. gotta build up some suspense, sweetheart”, that familiar grin of hers as she pulled down her sunglasses. “sure, alright, let´s do that. I do hope you dream about me tonight though” the threatening tone of that statement amused her, “there´s a pretty good chance of that happening, don´t you worry, baby”. eventually you got up, giving her car a light slap on the hood as she started the engine and threw you a final glance, driving off with the window still down, wind in her hair, looking in the rearview mirror to confirm her suspicion, that you´d keep standing there, that you wouldn´t immediately turn around and walk away, a sudden urge in her chest to turn around, to fuck up her work schedule and tell her boss that she´s sick.

for a good few minutes you just stood there by the side of the road, leaning against a lantern, unable to move on with your day, to go back to your own routine without her by your side. the initial pain that you both felt in your return to being alone was slowly but surely overshadowed by a deep feeling of gratitude, because you realized at the same time that you´d given each other a deeply precious gift; it was undeniable that it would have been ideal to lead a life where you could live together, where you could spend all your time together, neither of you would have ever denied that, you´d both dreamed about it, but your unique situation gave you both the gift of returning to your daily lives on your own with a completely different feeling and outlook compared to before, even though nothing about your circumstances had changed. Tess knew then as she was driving back home that she would not feel the same sense of dread every morning, that she would not dissociate as much as she always had before, that she´d move through her life with an unfamiliar sense of optimism, knowing you were out there and waiting to see her again. she knew that being at work would feel different, simply because she could spend the minutes she´d usually spent zoning out, thinking of you, what you were up to, how you might sound during a call later that day, what you´d want to tell her.

you felt the exact same way as you walked back to your dorm with a dreamy look permanently frozen on your face because it dawned on you that your senior year of college would not be as hard as your junior year at all, you knew then that it would be easier to get up and move around, to look at the days ahead of you with hope, because regardless of was about to happen, you had someone out there who´d listen to your worries, who´d help you navigate your through it all, who´d always get your spirits up without even trying hard, hearing her voice would be enough to feel better after a rough day, making her laugh would be enough to feel useful, to feel like your presence mattered and helped other people move through their own lives a little easier. your love for her was reviving in a way, you felt stronger and more capable than before, you felt safe and secure knowing that life could shake you up however it wanted and you wouldn´t be scared, at least not the way you´d been before, because she´d be there, always, even if it was just a text or a call, you wouldn´t be lonely anymore, neither of you would be.

you had left each other with the most beautiful thought to hold close to your hearts:

someone out there loves and sees me for who I am at my core. someone out there prays that everything goes well for me. someone out there is waiting eagerly for me to come back to them, and I will. again and again and again.

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freneziwlp · 23 days

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Does anybody know if there's any stories out there in which Joel thinks reader has died after the outbreak but then after some time she returns to him and he's like 😳?

I've been cravin' some reading with that plot, but I really dunno whether it was already written or not

#joel miller #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us #joel miller imagine #joel miller smut

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freneziwlp · 24 days

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so i saw this man and my rotted brain went i bet he spends a lot of time jerking off and yes i know the context of the picture idk what to tell you, and then y'all encouraged me, and here we are.

cw: f!reader, masturbation (m&f), edging, addictive behavior, voyeurism, extremely inappropriate behavior by joelseph miller, light spoilers for tlou2, idk if this is hot or just weird but it's both to me, sorry if there are words missing i wrote this in a fugue state and that happens sometimes

It starts as a way to pass the time. Even with his wood-carving and guitar-making and patrol shifts, there are still soooooo many hours in the day. Ellie's in her own little place, all independent, and the dating pool is about as dry as you'd think for a place with 300 people.

He doesn't mean to get addicted to it. It just happens. He Pavlovs himself into getting hard every time he's alone in his house. And it's fine, actually, because he hasn't really been able to relax in over twenty years, so why shouldn't he just give himself this one thing? Just to pass the time.

But then it's not just to pass the time.

Eventually he can't keep his hands off his cock when he's alone. He can barely wait to shut the door behind himself and strip, using whatever's handy (lol) as lube, or if he really can't wait, he'll spit in his hand and go at it.

And it's amazing.

He's never let himself feel this good, never done anything just for him, and fuck, he can't stop. He likes making noise, moaning so fucking loud it echos. He figures out different techniques, different ways to hold himself, how to make himself almost come and stop before it actually happens.

He can go for hours if he has the time.

He tries not to let it affect his life, still makes time for other things, but if he can, he'll get off a couple of times a day.

Tommy comes knocking on his door one day, just after he's finished. He can still feel the flush on his neck, heart still pounding in his chest, head still clouded with endorphins. He wipes his sticky hand on a shirt he needs to wash anyway and opens the door, hoping it doesn't smell too much like come in the living room.

If Tommy notices anything he doesn't say it, just goes right into introductions--Joel, she's new, and she needs a place to stay until we get her permanent place ready. Just a few weeks.

You're pretty, really fucking gorgeous, smiling all sweet and polite with some little accent he can't place, but he doesn't want you here in his space. This is his space, this is where he--where he relaxes.

But he can hardly decline. You stick your hand out in greeting, and he clasps his over it, cringing internally as he remembers he'd just had his cock in his hand not five minutes before, just wiped all the results his activities even less than.

If he hadn't just come, he'd probably be hard again, and he feels like the dirtiest old man that ever lived.

You promise you won't be a bother, and he tells you not to worry about it. You're polite and thoughtful and you pitch in with chores and his dick is going to fucking explode if you don't leave this house soon.

He's gotta figure something out. He still gets time in the bathroom or before he goes to sleep, but his orgasms are small and unsatisfying and he's short tempered--even more so than usual, even to you. He doesn't want that, though. Even if he is a dirty old man, even if he does need this, he doesn't want you to be upset with him or have him think he's upset with you.

Eventually he starts locking himself in his studio, tells you he just likes to be alone when he's carving and to please not disturb him. And you don't. Sometimes you even leave, and he can be as loud as he wants, and it works, and he'll be able to get through these next few weeks.

The thing is that you're not an idiot. You know what an erection looks like, you know what desperation looks like, you know exactly what's bothering him. Also, the house is quiet, and your hearing is much better than his. You can hear him even when he's trying to keep it down, the soft slap slap slap, the groan, the stopping and whimpering before he spits in his hand and starts again.

He's making you fucking crazy.

Every time he comes out looking flushed and chipper and asking how your day's going, you have to excuse yourself and get off as quickly as you can.

It goes like that for a while, like this game of jerk off tag, and you really, really want to see him.

He wants to let you.

It doesn't take him long to pick up on the fact that you know what he's doing, when you just happen to be hanging around the immediate vicinity of his studio when he comes out. The way your pupils are blown wide, lips parted and bitten, almost panting, running off to take care of something in your room.

You've been so good to him, letting him have this thing he needs so badly, even though you could've shamed him for it, and he wants to share it with you. He wants to show you. He wants you to see him, and he wants to see you, too.

The door is ajar the next time you sneak down the hall, and you're greeted to the most delicious sight. Naked--naked--shimmering with sweat and effort, one big hand pumping his impressive cock, shiny with precome and spit. The bulbous tip is dribbling steadily like he's been at it for a while, every now and then he thrusts up with his hips, groaning and freezing like he's trying to keep from coming all over himself.

You've never seen a man enjoy himself so much, and you don't move an inch. You just want to watch him bite his lips and moan, that mane of salt and pepper hair slick with perspiration. This is on purpose, he wants you to see. He's so careful, door locked, mostly dressed all those times you got to your knees to peek through the keyhole.

He knows.

He opens his eyes when the floorboard creaks, a smirk spreading across his lips just before he bares his teeth, gripping the base of his cock.

"C'mere," he rasps. "Look at it."

You move a little closer, feeling shy, but you do as he says. You watch him. You wait.

"Look at it," he groans, breath hitching, hips stuttering into his fist. "Watch."

He comes with a long, loud moan. It goes everywhere--his hand, his belly, his chest. You don't move, you just watch his face slacken, whispering something over and over, licking his lips. He's lost in it. You're shaking, pussy soaking as you wait for him to open his eyes.

His panting slows, his soft belly going up and down with each steady breath. You can't stop looking at him. He gives you a long, feral leer and crooks two fingers at you.

"C'mere." He pats one sticky thigh. "Your turn."

ANYWAY BYE

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freneziwlp · 25 days

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Overloaded

Pairing: Joel and Tommy Miller X fem!Reader | W/C: ~11K | Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Summary: After catching your ex-boyfriend in your bed with another woman, you pack up and leave. With no money and no car, you end up hitchhiking back to Texas. You're lucky enough to catch a ride with a nice Trucker named Joel. Things quickly heat up between you two, and only get hotter when you meet his brother.

Warnings: This is basically 11K words of straight filth (I have no excuses for myself). In my mind this is set in the early 2000s. Age gap but not specified (Joel is noted to be late 40s-50s). No use of Daddy. No use of Y/N. Porn watching. Female masturbation. Male masturbation. Sexual tension/flirting. Kink/fantasy exploration. Size kink. Safeword/explicit consent. Oral (m/f receiving). Threesome. Fingering. A LOT of unprotected p in v sex. Hard core cum kink/cum play. Creampies (a lot of them). Cockwarming. Cuckolding. Nipple stimulation. Adult entertainment stores. GLORY HOLE. Joel has a filthy fucking mouth in this one. Soft!Dom/sub dynamics. One ass smack. Pet names (Joel calls reader Bambi). Talk of feelings. Edging. Infidelity (readers ex). Masturbation denial (readers ex). Long hair Joel in a trucker hat deserves its own warning cuz ooof. Reader has female sex anatomy and has slight implied feminine descriptors. Pussy has pronouns (she/her). Joel is a little pervy but a gentleman. Praise kink. Use of good girl. There's a surprise guest appearance in addition to Tommy. Let me know if I missed anything! A/N: Special shout out to my darling moot and friend @toxicanonymity for this filthy idea. This story was written with her permission based on this ask. I also blame @alltheirdamn for posting this photo and inspiring the threesome ideas.

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One bad day doesn’t make your whole life bad.

The message glares back at you, the words etched in Sharpie on the back of the bathroom stall in a shitty gas station in Reno. Next to it is for bad time call 775-397-04, the last two numbers are too smudged to read, and several other doodles you suspect might be the leftover artwork from people using the stall for anything other than its intended purpose.

You had managed to make it to Reno thanks to a kind older lady, Gladys, who had offered you a ride about 200 miles back.

“Can’t take you all the way, hunny, but I can get you to Nevada.”

She was nice; a little Elvis-obsessed, and you’d rather walk through a sandstorm fully nude than smell her breath again, but she kept her promise and got you where she said she would.

You told her the truth when she asked why you were alone and needed a ride.

You had followed this guy, convinced he was the love of your life. That was until the day you saw him with another woman, in your bed no less, and everything shattered. In a spur of anger and heartbreak, you decided to leave. Without a car or much money, your only option was to hitchhike back to Texas, silently praying your family would understand and take you back. Not likely, but it’s not like you had any other option.

“Good luck, Toots. You’ll be alright. Anyone gives you hell, just punch ‘em in the balls.”

You laugh at that. “I’ll keep that advice in mind, Gladys. Thanks for the ride.”

She gave you a stiff nod and popped the trunk. You grabbed your modest suitcase, a small thing that held only a handful of clothes, some of your favorite books, and the few memories you cared to bring.

You watched as she pulled out of the gas station parking lot, her window down, fingertips clutching a cigarette that dangled out of the window. The tires of her Crown Vic squealed against the gravel as she pulled out. And then, she was gone just like that, leaving you alone once more. More alone than you’ve ever been, you realize.

You turn to walk into the building, quickly scanning the walls for the restrooms, avoiding the clerk. Your life was already embarrassing enough, you didn’t need to add getting silently judged by a 7-11 gas station attendant in the middle of fuck-all nowhere.

You find the cleanest stall and let yourself cry.

One bad day doesn’t make your whole life bad.

Right.

You step out of the stall with a heavy sigh and slumped shoulders. It smells like artificial soap and bleach, and the mirror is scratched and clouded at the edges. The fluorescent lights buzz overhead, reflecting harshly on your now puffy eyes. You run cold water over your face, drying it with the rough paper towels that disintegrate like melting snow, and do your best to rid yourself of the grossness you feel.

You give yourself your best it’ll be okay look in the mirror, and step out.

You head to the gas station counter and buy a cheap bottle of water with the last of your cash. The clerk gives you a sympathetic look but offers no words. You step outside and lean against the building, scanning the horizon for any sign of a kind soul willing to give you a lift, but no such luck.

The sun dips lower, and you decide you can’t stay here. You pull out the map Gladys gave you and assess your options. The nearest town is about three miles up the road, give or take a mile or two, you’re not really sure how to read this damn thing anyway. Walking the whole way doesn’t sound ideal, and the flip-flops on your feet aren’t really up for the job either, but you’ve never been one to complain.

Despite your best efforts, the cars just zoom past, one after another, leaving you with nothing but a cloud of dust each time. You hold out your thumb again, hope dwindling when, finally, a semi-truck slows down and halts to a stop in front of you.

The door swings open, and you look up and into the cab.

And oh.

His eyes glaze over your body, the suitcase in your hand, looking you up and down before they meet yours.

“Needa ride?”

You're wide-eyed, like a doe caught in the middle of a highway, the realization hitting you that maybe this isn't such a good idea after all.

He notices your apprehension and cracks a half-smile.

All you can do is nod.

“Where ya headin’ to?”

“Texas,” you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.

He nods, patting the passenger seat. “Hop on in then, Bambi.”

It might be a no-good, terrible idea, but you do it anyway. ++++

You’ve never been in a semi before. You wouldn’t necessarily consider yourself afraid of heights, but you have to admit you’re pretty far up. The inside is far more spacious than it looks on the inside.

You give him a small smile as you adjust onto the seat, barely meeting his eye as you do, trying to look anywhere but. He watches as you pull the safety belt across your lap and nods when he hears it click into place.

“Joel,” he says, extending his hand out to yours.

You offer your name in return and feel heat rush to your chest when his large hand encloses yours.

“Thanks for the ride, Mr. Joel,” you say, shaking it slightly.

"Just Joel, darlin'," he says, dropping your hand. He brings it to the mesh hat on his head, taking it off to push back his curls. You notice the strands of grey that thread through the brown. “Ready?”

You're not sure if you are, but you nod anyway. You watch as he shifts the truck into gear, checks the mirrors, and then pulls out.

You ride in silence.

Through the corner of your eye, you see him occasionally glance over at you, his lips slightly parting like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t.

After a few minutes, you shift your attention from the road and begin to look around the truck. The front dash is covered in patterned fabric that’s starting to fray at the edges. The interior seems a little dated but relatively clean. There’s a coffee cup in one of the drink holders and a pack of sunflower seeds in the other. There’s a cinnamon-scented air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror.

It’s kind of cozy. Not in a way that feels cozy, like coming home after a long trip away, but it’s comfortable.

You decide to break the silence.

“Nice setup you’ve got here,” you say, reaching out to touch the fabric on the dash. “Did you do all this yourself?”

Joel glances over, a hint of pride in his eyes. “Yeah. Spend so much time in here, might as well feel like home, you know?”

Home.

You’re not sure what that feels like anymore.

You give him your best smile and nod like you understand what he’s trying to say.

You chat for a little longer, letting him do most of the talking. You learn he’s been in trucking for over a decade, something he got into when his back could no longer handle his contractor job. He plays the guitar. He’s a fan of spaghetti westerns and a native of Texas. He has a younger brother named Tommy. He’s a little rough around the edges, but he seems like a decent man.

His eyes stay on the road for the most part, apart from the occasional glance over he’ll give you. You notice his eyes drop to your bare thighs every time he does, but you don’t mind. You can tell he’s curious about you. And you would be, too, if the roles were reversed, but he doesn’t pry.

The conversation naturally ends, and you both begin to ride in silence once more.

You gaze out the passenger window, watching the sun dip below the horizon behind the rock formations. In true desert fashion, the sunset is spectacular – the sky transforms into a canvas of deep oranges and purples, giving way to night.

Now hidden in a tinge of darkness, the only light coming from the illuminated buttons on the truck's dashboard, you take a moment to look at him—really look at him.

He has a strong jawline, a perfect slope to his nose, and facial hair that’s just beginning to gray. You think he might be in his late 40s or early 50s, but he wears it well. He's handsome in a way that’s solid, sure of itself. It unmoors you.

You shift in your seat, trying to shake off the feeling. You crack the window, letting the cool breeze caress your face. You lean back on the seat and close your eyes; you’re more exhausted than you thought.

Joel glances over, catching the weariness on your face. He clears his throat, and you blink your eyes to look at him.

“If you’re tired, you can go lay down on the bed in the back,” he says, his voice gentle. “It ain’t the Ritz, but the mattress is pretty comfy. I even have some fresh sheets in the cabinet above it.”

You lean up from the seat, a little surprised by the offer.

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure. There’s a TV back there, too, if ya wanna watch something.”

It’s a simple offer, but the kindness behind it makes your heart flutter a bit.

“Thanks, a bed does sound nice,” you say as you unhook the seatbelt.

You move to the back. As you do, he risks a glance over his shoulder, taking in the view of your ass and the flesh that peeks out from the cut of your daisy dukes before quickly returning his attention back to the road.

Fuck, he’s in trouble.

From the front, the truck seemed huge, but now you realize it's even bigger than you thought. In the center, there's a decent-sized bed with a TV positioned across from it. There's not much room to walk around, but just enough to get by. You drop your bag and pull out the fresh sheets from the cabinet, exactly where he said they'd be.

As you’re pulling the old sheets from the bed, you feel something under the corner of the mattress. Lifting it slightly, you find a bottle of lube. A moment of awkwardness washes over you, but you quickly brush it aside, place it back where you found it, and finish making the bed.

As you settle onto it, you look around for the remote but can’t find it.

“Hey, uh Joel, where’s your remote?”

“Oh shit, um, check the nightstand.”

“Thanks,” you call out, opening the drawer. Inside is the remote, a copy of a Lonesome Dove, a pair of reading glasses, and some Tums. Most definitely in his 50s, then.

You lay back on the pillows, pull the blankets over your body, and point the remote at the screen.

When the screen turns on, you’re immediately met with the sight of a woman on her knees, mouth stuffed full of a large cock, hair a tangled mess in the fist of the man above her as he uses it to guide her up and down on his shaft.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You fumble for the off button, but something stops you. Your ex-boyfriend had a hard rule about you touching yourself without him. That should have been your first red flag, but he was charming enough that you could make do with that. He wasn’t a bad lay, and you did occasionally orgasm with him, but you haven’t actually made yourself come in you don’t even know how long.

You glance toward the entrance to the back of the cab to make sure Joel isn’t watching, double-check the sound is all the way off, and decide to let yourself watch.

You watch, captivated, as the scene unfolds. It’s a little corny, the way she slobs on his cock, but she looks like she’s enjoying it. You watch as the man tugs her up by her hair and mouths something you can’t hear as he quickly bends her over and fucks her with his fingers.

You dip your hand below the band of your shorts and rest it above your panties as you watch him slide another finger into her wet, wanting cunt. Your fingers slide beneath the fabric, slipping through your slick to press against your clit.

It feels a bit bold to do this here, but boy, do you need it. Your body feels foreign, but you quickly reacquaint yourself, finding that perfect pressure and making small, satisfying circles with two of your fingers.

You can't hear it, but you can tell from the way the camera captures her face, her eyes rolling back into her skull, that she's coming. You’re close, but you hold off from your release, wanting to see him fuck her. The man pumps his cock with his fist a few times before lining himself up against her wet hole.

You start to pick up the pace of your movement as the tip of him presses against her entrance, parting her swollen folds as he feeds her his cock. He starts slow, taking his time to slick himself in her release. Before long, he’s fucking her hard, holding onto her hips for leverage. You watch as her tits bounce, and he pulls her down and back onto him.

You feel the pressure build, the intensity of knowing you could be caught by Joel at any second only adding to your arousal.

You come just as the man does, muffling your moans with the pillow, watching his hips flush against her ass as his hands grab her flesh. The camera pans to a close-up of him pulling out, followed by the sight of thick white cum oozing out of her.

You watch in a daze, hand still between your thighs, as the scene ends. You change the channel, then turn off the TV.

As you stare at the ceiling of the cab, still enraptured by your release, you think about the last time that you actually felt this good. You think about what it might be like to be pumped full of hot cum, filled to the brim by a large cock.

Everything else in your life was falling apart, but maybe this was one problem you could actually solve.

Trucking must get lonely, after all.

++++

Joel must have let you sleep for a while because when you wake up, the sun is just starting to rise. You hastily make the bed and change in the back before heading up front, finding Joel right where you left him.

“You drove through the night?” you ask, wiping some sleep from your eyes.

“Got a late start yesterday. Usually like to drive through the night anyway, fewer idiots on the road.”

You must have stopped recently, though, since he's sipping what looks like a fresh cup of coffee. You're surprised when he reaches over to the center of the dash, eyes still on the road, and hands you one too.

“You sleep okay?” he asks. You let the warmth and aroma of the coffee slowly wake you up.

“Yeah, thanks. I really needed that.” You smirk, knowing you needed a little more than just sleep. You buckle yourself into the passenger seat.

“Thanks for the coffee, by the way. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I don’t mind,” he says, holding his cup in one hand, the other gripping the wheel. Now that you're more alert and less tired than yesterday, you notice how big he actually is. His thick thighs take up most of the seat, and his arms are tan and muscular.

You squeeze your thighs together and try to ignore the aching want that hasn’t gone away since last night. It doesn’t help that he keeps looking at you like you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

“So, tell me about your load,” you say, hiding your smile behind your cup. You watch as his neck turns pink, and he clears his throat.

“My, uh —” he looks over at you, but you’re already holding his gaze. He wonders if you intentionally phrased it that way.

“It’s just a bunch of construction stuff; pipe and stuff.”

He blushes even more when he realizes how that sounds. You get a kick out of him being flustered and decide to press him a little more.

“And what are you gonna do with that pipe, Joel?”

He sets his coffee down and clears his throat again, his grip so tight on the steering wheel that his knuckles bleach.

“What am I — uh, it’s not for me. Just dropping it off for a company,” he says, adjusting his net hat and looking firmly out the windshield.

You look over at him and try not to make your amusement at his embarrassment too obvious. He’s cute when he’s flustered.

He doesn’t look over at you for the next hour.

He can’t.

Not when you’re asking him questions about his load, looking at him like that.

It's early afternoon when Joel says he needs to stop for the night. He made good time driving through the darkness, but his company has strict rules about maximum drive times.

He pulls off the highway at the next town and into a motel parking lot. It's a small place, probably no more than 15 rooms. The parking lot is massive, likely a popular stop for truckers with how long and wide it is.

Your stomach sinks. You don't know how to tell him you can't afford your own room, that you barely had enough money for a bottle of water yesterday.

He parks the truck, and as the engine falls silent, he steps out of the cab. Just as you're about to open your door, he rounds the front and opens it for you, offering his hand to help you out. The gesture makes your stomach swoop.

Standing next to him now, you realize how tall he actually is. He's a broad, solid man. His dark jeans grip his legs perfectly, and his t-shirt fits snugly across his broad chest. He's truly a sight.

You reluctantly follow him into the motel and stop him just short of the front desk.

"Joel, I—I don't think I can stay here."

He looks down at you, a deep crease between his brows.

"We can try to find somethin' a little nicer if ya—" you cut him off, bringing your hand to his bicep.

"No, no, it's not that. It's just, well, it's a little embarrassing," you say, pulling your hand back, your arms wrapping around yourself.

"What is it?"

"I can't afford it. I don't have any money for a room," you say, gaze glued to the ground.

"'S alright, Bambi. I can take care of it," he says, bringing one hand to your cheek, using his thumb to tilt it up to look at him.

You smile at him, knowing you should push back, try and fight his kindness a little more, but you don’t.

He walks over to the front desk, and you follow behind. He's greeted by a man who looks like he just rolled out of bed. The name tag affixed to his shirt says Dieter.

"Howdy. Two queen rooms for the night, please."

Dieter looks at his computer, shoots a glance at you, and returns his gaze to Joel.

"Sorry man, no can do. Looks like we're pretty booked. Best I can do is one king room."

"Uhh," Joel says, hesitating, one hand now rubbing the back of his neck.

Joel turns and shoots a look at you, almost a question. You’re looking at him with those doe eyes again.

"We can find another motel in the next town over," he tells you, but you see the exhaustion on his face. You don’t want to make him drive to another town. You’re already more than an inconvenience to him, no need to pile on.

"It’s fine, Joel. I can sleep on the floor."

"You ain't sleepin' on the floor. I'll sleep on the floor," he tells you before he turns back to the man and says he'll take it.

It doesn’t take long to get the keys. The room is on the west side of the building. Joel swings a bag over his shoulder and insists on carrying your suitcase for you, too.

The room isn’t much. One big king bed in the middle, just like the man said, a TV across from it, and a small chair with a side table in the corner. It's sparsely decorated apart from a lamp on the nightstand and a picture of a beach above the bed, one of those cheesy prints from the 90s. It’s not much, but it’s clean and cool.

Joel drops the bags and offers to let you shower first, which you happily accept. It’s been far too long since you’ve had a proper one, not just a quick wash from a bathroom sink

When you’re in the shower, Joel sits in the chair across from the bed, his eyes fixed on the TV in the room. He decides to watch the fucking Weather Channel, a poor attempt at distracting himself from his raging hard-on.

It came on the second you closed the bathroom door.

He couldn’t help it, the thought of you naked in the room right next to him, what you might look like all soaped up and wet.

It doesn’t help that you’re singing in the shower, some song Joel doesn’t know, but fuck if you don’t sound pretty doing it. He wonders how sweet you might sound, moaning his name as he splits you open.

He’s about to touch himself when he hears the water shut off. You open the bathroom door and emerge from the steamy room, a white towel wrapped around your frame, strands of wet hair clinging to your neck, your skin glistening.

Fuck.

“All yours,” you say before walking across the room to your suitcase, leaving the scent of your shampoo in your wake. You smell divine, like toasted coconut with a hint of tangerine. It’s intoxicating.

He gets up from the chair fast, his hand in front of his crotch, quickly turning so you can’t see what you’ve done to him.

He’s never been one to take a long shower, but you don’t know that. He takes the opportunity to fuck his fist, coming fast and hard into the stream below, doing his best to muffle his moans under the sound of the water.

You try not to stare when he emerges from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. You knew he was in shape from how his clothes fit, but seeing him shirtless is a whole different story. His chest is broad and muscular, with just a little hair there. You can see the faint outline of his upper abs, but he's a bit soft around the middle, with a delicious tummy that makes you want to sink your teeth into him.

You’ve already dried and dressed, but you feel yourself get wet at the sight of him.

“I’m gonna get some fresh air while you get dressed,” you tell him, quickly stepping out of the room. You lean against the building, staring out into the parking lot, trying to ignore the restlessness between your legs, that deep, aching want that only seems to grow stronger.

You’re not sure you’ve ever wanted someone more.

After a few minutes, the door to the room opens, and he steps out. He’s changed into a pair of dark denim jeans and a nice shirt, even wearing a belt. He’s left off the hat, and his dark curly hair is pushed back. And damn, he smells good. The musky scent of his cologne, the fresh mint from his toothpaste, and the clean smell of his deodorant blend together perfectly.

“You look nice,” you say, not even bothering to hide the fact that you’re blatantly eyeing him.

“You too, Darlin’. Now let’s go, ‘m starving,” he replies, his eyes lingering on you just a moment longer than usual, adding to the tension simmering between you.

Your stomach growls, reminding you that you're hungry too. You follow him through the parking lot, initially heading toward his truck, but he gestures for you to continue walking.

“‘Ts not that far, there’s a diner just up the road.”

You catch up to him and walk by his side until the diner comes into view. He holds the door open for you, his free hand resting on the small of your back as he guides you in. The simple touch sends a wave of heat rising to your chest.

The waitress is warm and welcoming, and the kitchen is quick and efficient. You both opt for a burger and fries. Conversation flows easily, and at one point, you even ask Joel about the weather forecast for the week. He lies on the spot, not remembering a damn thing about what was on the screen. As you talk, you get to know each other a little more, and you find yourself opening up about your past, including your ex. Joel's eyes darken with a protective edge as he listens, clearly thinking you deserve better.

When you finish dinner, Joel notices you glancing at the small sign on the table with a picture of a chocolate milkshake on it.

When the waitress stops by to see if you want dessert, you start to say no, but Joel orders one for you anyway. Your visible excitement is unmistakable when it arrives, eyes wide as you take in the mountain of whipped cream on top.

You lick at the cream, a little landing on your lower lip. Joel feels himself harden at the sight. He took care of himself earlier, hoping this wouldn’t happen, but of course, you find a way to make eating whipped cream the hottest thing he’s ever seen.

“Can I ask you a question?” you say, still distracted by your milkshake, its coolness a stark contrast to his hot and heavy gaze.

You bring a scoop of whipped cream on your finger to your mouth and suck on it, holding his gaze while you do. You smile when you see that familiar blush crossing his face.

“Anything,” he says earnestly.

You think he means it.

“Why did you agree to help me?” you ask, taking another sip. “You know, by giving me a ride and stuff. You’re being so nice to me and I guess I just want to know why.”

“Oh. Um, well, I guess the simplest answer is that I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t. Pretty little thing like you, ‘t’s dangerous out here, a lot of bad men in the world. Couldn’t go to sleep at night knowing I just passed you by, knowing I could have helped.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“All that, and that’s what you picked up?” His eyes drink you in, the flush visible on his cheeks. You just smile as you lean back in the booth, holding his gaze.

“Yeah, Bambi. I do.” He says, dropping some cash on the table.

After you’ve finished the last of your milkshake, he slips out of the booth and offers you his hand again. The walk back is silent, but the tension is thick enough to feel.

You’re not sure what it is about him and the want he awakens inside of you. You think maybe it’s his kindness or the way he looks at you, but you don’t want to overthink it.

You want him. The ache in your chest and the heat in your veins all confirm it. And you’re starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he wants you, too.

His hand slips into his jeans pocket, fingers brushing against the motel key. Your eyes lock, an electric current sparking between you. He hesitates, the key poised above the lock, the moment stretched taut like a bowstring.

Everything hangs in the balance, the air thick with unspoken desire. You can't tear your gaze from his lips, noticing the way they part slightly, the soft plumpness inviting you in. Your breath catches as you glance up through your lashes, meeting his eyes with a silent answer.

The world narrows down to this moment, this decision. He sees it in your eyes, the undeniable yes.

And with that, he turns the key.

The motel room door isn’t fully closed before he’s on you, one hand on your hip, the other firm on the back of your neck. He crowds you back, pressing you further into the room until he’s pinned you between the wall and him.

He lowers his head to your neck, his lips grazing the skin of your throat. The touch sends shivers down your spine, your pulse quickening under his mouth. You can feel the heat radiating from his body, his breath warm against your skin. His grip tightens, his fingers digging into your hip, grounding you.

“You sure you want this, darlin’,” he murmurs, “because once I start ‘m not gonna be able to stop.”

You feel the soft press of his lips against your erratic pulse, the slow drag of his teeth drag up the side of your neck.

A moan slips from your lips.

“Need you to use your words, baby.” He sucks a mark on your throat, and you melt a little under his touch.

“Yes, Joel, I want you,” you say, earning a small groan from him.

“Music to my fuckin’ ears, sweetheart,” he says, his firm hand still on the back of your neck. You angle your chin to face him, and his lips find yours. He kisses exactly the way you thought he would – it’s deep, intense, commanding.

You moan into his mouth as he sucks your bottom lip between his teeth, and you twist your hands into the fabric of his shirt. Your fingertips graze the top of his belt, then drop lower, feeling the hard shape of him through the denim.

His breath hitches at your touch, and he presses even closer, his hips grinding against you. You can feel his heartbeat, rapid and strong, matching the pounding in your chest. His lips leave yours, trailing hot kisses down your jawline to the sensitive skin of your neck.

“God, you feel so good,” he murmurs against your skin, his voice thick with desire.

Your hand moves more boldly now, tracing the outline of him with your fingers, feeling him harden even more under your touch. He groans, the sound vibrating through you, and you can’t help but arch into him, seeking more contact.

“Patience, baby,” he purrs, “Wanna see you first.”

His hands roam over your body, exploring every curve and dip. He finds the hem of your shirt and tugs it upward, breaking away from you just long enough to pull it over your head. He discards it carelessly, his eyes darkening as they rake over your now-exposed skin.

You toe off your shoes and work to take off your bra, all while Joel unbuttons your jeans. You wiggle your hips to assist him in removing the barrier. After what seems like no time at all, you’re nearly fully nude in front of him, bare save your white cotton panties.

“Holy fuck,” Joel says, taking a small step back and admiring the view. He looks at you like you’re a piece of art, prettier than anything he could have conjured up in his mind.

He steps forward and puts his hand on your waist, using his thumb to trail over your soft skin. Goosebumps collect like pebbles on your skin from the cool air, and your nipples harden from his touch.

You push your chest to him, for him. He accepts your offering; swipes a calloused thumb across your plush, silky nipple, and crouches to catch the other in his desperate mouth. He groans into your chest the second your nipple meets his lips. You can’t control the deep hum that escapes from your throat. Joel smirks at the sound, lips still attached to your breast.

“Joel,” you moan.

He trails kisses down the valley of your breasts, across the soft swell of your stomach, whispering praise against your skin as he goes. His voice is a low, soothing murmur, each word sending shivers down your spine. You drape your hands over his broad shoulders, fingers threading through the curls that gather at the back of his head, holding him close as he works his way down to the band of your panties.

On his knees, he places both of his hands on the curves of your hips and holds you steady while he looks up at you. He looks up at you like a man starved, his pupils so dark they edge out most of the brown, his hooded eyes are almost a plea for you to let him continue.

“Can I taste you?” he asks, already hooking his thumbs in the band of them, awaiting your permission.

You pause with your mouth agape a bit, he wants to taste you. Your ex only ever ate you out when he was drunk, his tongue too sloppy to really make it worth it.

“Only if I can taste you after,” you tease. His prominent nose presses into your mound and groans.

“Could you get any more perfect?” he praises. His cock twitches against the confines of his jeans.

His hands are warm and sure as they slide beneath the fabric, pulling your panties down with agonizing slowness. You take a small step out of them, and he gently caresses up the back of your calve and back of your thigh, his hand landing on the curve of your ass. He tightly grabs the flesh there.

He gently guides your leg up onto one of his shoulders, and you press back into the wall and lean your pelvis closer to him. The anticipation is electric, every nerve ending in your body alive and buzzing with need. His lips follow the path of his hands, kissing along the newly exposed skin, his breath hot against your thighs.

“What a cute little cunt,” he praises before leaning in to place an experimental kiss on the top of your mound. You let out a soft little sound at the feeling of his lips on your skin.

He gets bold with his kisses, and once you’re comfortable with his mouth on you, he glides his middle finger through your dropping folds before flipping it so it’s wrist up, pausing with the pad of it right at the entrance of your tight hole.

You look down at him with your lusty doe eyes that have been driving him crazy since he first saw you and bite your lower lip in anticipation. He looks at you and gently nudges the nip in, he holds it there for a brief second before fully thrusting it up into your core, holding your gaze as he enters you. You gasp.

“Oh, she’s tight, too,” he moans as he continues to feel you, eventually putting his mouth back on your pussy, his lips sealed around your puffy clit. His large finger pumps in and out of you as his tongue flicks and swirls where you need him the most.

“More,” you moan, “Fuck–please, Joel, give me more,” you mewle.

“That’s my girl, gonna stretch you out, get you nice and ready for this cock,” he whispers against your wet skin as he slips another finger in, one you greedily accept.

He devours you, lapping at you like you’re a popsicle on a hot summer day. His tongue is precise and relentless, each flick and swirl overwhelming your senses. It's so good, so intense, that you feel like you're going to come apart at the seams.

“Joel,” you gasp, your voice trembling with need. “I—”

He looks up at you briefly, his eyes dark with hunger and desire, before doubling down on his efforts. The world narrows to the sensation of his tongue, the heat of his mouth, and the steady rhythm that drives you closer and closer to the edge.

Heat pools in your lower abdomen, and the world becomes fuzzy at the edges of your vision.

You moan as he sets a relentless pace with his mouth and fingers, slowly tightening the coil inside of you in a way you’ve never felt before. Time slows briefly, and your vision goes white, little specks of light dancing behind your eyelids, heat rushing up to your chest and cheeks.

Until –

“Holy shit, yes, I’m coming, oh my god, don’t stop,” you unravel for him, a babbling mess of pleasure, he holds you steady as he works you through it. And when he’s satisfied that you’re satisfied, he gently hoists your leg off of his shoulder and rises to his full height.

“Such a good girl for me, you come so pretty,” he whispers against your neck, nipping at your jaw until his lips find yours. You taste yourself on them, feel the wetness in his beard. He slips his tongue into your mouth, and you moan. It’s so hot to taste yourself on him, dizzying that wants to taste you on his tongue.

“My turn,” you wink at him, hooking your fingers into his belt loops. It’s your turn to press him back, and you do, guiding him until he bumps into the bed and takes a seat on the mattress.

On jelly-like legs, you begin to kneel before him, holding his gaze as you do. The look in his eyes is a mix of anticipation and hunger, and it sends a thrill through you.

You place your seemingly tiny palms on his very large thighs, gliding them up to meet his belt. You watch his face as you make quick work of unbuckling it. His breath hitches, eyes darkening with desire.

Pants next, you pull the zipper down, and he helps you take them all the way off. You pause to palm the length of him under the single piece of fabric left on him, feeling the heat and hardness beneath. His breath catches, and you see the muscles in his jaw tighten.

With deliberate slowness, you pull his boxers down, far enough for his cock to finally spring free. The length of him slaps against his soft tummy, leaving a little smear of pre-cum in its wake. You can’t help but take a moment to admire him, the sight of him fully aroused, sending a fresh wave of desire through you.

You wrap your hand around him, feeling his weight and heat, and his hips jerk slightly at the contact. You look up at him, his eyes half-lidded with pleasure, lips parted as he watches you intently.

You take his heavy cock in hand and begin to stroke it slow and rhythmically, admiring its size. Joel's head falls back as if to gaze at the ceiling – you’ve barely touched him, and already he’s melting like putty.

You wet your lips, duck down to the base of his shaft, and plant a small kiss at the base of his cock.

“God damn, Bambi,” he retorts.

You hum as you flatten your tongue and lick a long, wet stripe up the underside of his dick and stop at the top with your mouth open wide. As you hold the tip of him in your mouth, your tongue darts out to taste the salty, musky flavor of his pre-cum. His hands tangle in your hair, gentle but insistent, as you take him into your mouth.

The sound he makes as you begin to move, slow and deliberate, is nothing short of primal. You can feel his thighs tense beneath your palms, his breath coming in ragged gasps as you work him with your mouth and hands.

You hollow your cheeks, taking him deeper, the feel of him against your tongue and the sounds of his pleasure spurring you on. His fingers tighten in your hair, guiding your movements, his control slipping with each passing second.

“Whoa, back up now, Darlin’,” Joel huffs, “Gonna make me blow my load.”

You smile around him, the vibration of your laughter making him shudder. You ease off his cock, and look up at him with hungry eyes. He pulls you up by the back of your neck and brings his hands to your hips.

“Fuck, look at you,” he says, turning you around so you’re lying down on your back under him.

“I wanna fuck you,” he rasps in your ear. You reach up and tangle your fingers through his hair as he nips at your jaw.

“I want you to fuck me,” you coo.

“I don’t have a condom, but I promise I’m clean,” and you believe him.

“I have an IUD, and I’m clean, too. Please, Joel, please fuck me,” you wiggle your hips a little under him. He doesn’t need much convincing.

He positions himself at your entrance and gently pushes his hips forward so the tip of him is inside of you. He pauses there, giving you a second to adjust. Your heart throbs in your chest, and your eyes flicker closed.

“Eyes on me, baby,” he says, his voice a wreck. When you open them, he sinks even deeper. Halfway inside of you, he pauses again.

“Too much?” he asks. You shake your head no, tell him you want all of him.

After he’s confident you’re ready, he pushes his hips forward once again, fully burying himself deep inside of you.

Your pussy walls clench against him, and your jaw goes slack. He fucks you deep and slow, giving you time to adjust to his size. It’s all whispered praises in your ear, a firm grip on your hips, and his cock barely leaving your cunt before he slams back into you, desperate to keep himself buried inside of you.

“Shit, baby, I can feel you squeezing me, taking me so good —” his words break with a moan as you come for the third time, falling apart on his cock, before he adds, “Little cunt is choking my cock.”

He begins to set a relentless pace.

“Touch your clit for me, sweetheart,” and you do. His cock fits just right, pushing and gliding over the spongey spot inside of you that makes you see stars. He pumps in and out of you, eliciting throaty moans from you. The air is filled with the filthy, wanton sound of skin slapping against skin.

“I –” you mewl, “I think I’m gonna come again,” you say, breathless.

“Yeah?” he says, breath short, voice deep, “Such a good girl, want you to come for me, show me how pretty you look when you do.”

You think you could come from just his words alone.

Your pussy pulses around him as the wave of your orgasm takes over you, your mind hazy and filled with nothing but the thought of the way he fills you just right.

His movements begin to slow. You can tell he’s close.

“Where do you want me?”

“Inside. Want you to come inside of me,” you beg.

After a few more thrusts of his hips, he begins to stutter and slow. He pauses, buried to the hilt inside of you, and groans as his cock paints your insides with thick ropes of cum.

He holds you there, both of your breaths coming a little ragged, his body shaking and jolting a little. You feel him pulse inside of you. He plants kitten kisses on your face and pushes the hair back from your forehead.

Still plugged, he kisses you again. This time is different—not as intense as the first few, but still scorching, still brimming with passion. His hands travel up and down your back, drawing you closer, as if trying to memorize the feel of you against him. You melt into the kiss, the intimacy of it sinking deep into your bones.

When he pulls out, you let out a small moan, a little sad your pussy has nothing to clench around anymore. He rests on his shins and tells you to spread your legs wide for him.

“Full of me, ain’t ya?” He smirks as he says it, admiring the way his cum dribbles out of you.

He fills you up twice more before dawn.

++++

The next two days on the road feel different—you're happy to spend the time with him, admiring him as he drives. There's a comfort and ease between you now, a silent understanding that didn't exist before.

You find ways to keep yourself busy, fighting the boredom from the endless stretch of highway rolling beneath you. Sometimes, you read, the rhythmic hum of the engine providing a soothing background noise. Other times, you watch the scenery change, marveling at how vast and varied the landscape can be.

You and Joel talk, sharing past stories and funny encounters. You open up to him about your biggest fears and deepest desires, something you've never done with anyone, ever.

Joel listens intently, his hand still holding yours, his thumb gently stroking your skin in silent encouragement. There’s a sense of safety with him, a feeling that you can tell him anything without judgment.

At one point, he asks you about your biggest fantasy. One immediately comes to mind, of course, but you feel a flush of embarrassment. You hesitate, the words caught in your throat.

Joel squeezes your hand, his voice soft and reassuring.

“Hey, no judgment here, Bambi. I promise.”

Taking a deep breath, you finally let the words tumble out. “I’ve always fantasized about being with two men at once. I don’t know, there is just something so hot about being used and cummed in twice.”

His eyes darken with understanding, and a slow, knowing smile spreads across his face. “Thank you for telling me,” he says like he’s tucked the information away for later.

But more often than not, between conversations, you find yourself stealing glances at Joel, appreciating the way he handles the wheel, the concentration etched on his face, the way his muscles move beneath his shirt.

Sometimes, it’s so much that you can’t help but touch yourself. You make yourself come on your fingers in the passenger seat, making him verbally direct each of your moves. There was even one stretch of highway that was so boring that you crawled onto his lap while he was driving, and cock warmed him for an hour before he couldn’t take it anymore and pulled off to a rest stop and fucked you in the back of the cab for hours before you both finally gave in to sleep.

On your fourth day on the road with him, you wake up with a sinking feeling in your stomach. It’s your last day together, and the thought of it hits you harder than you expected. You both haven’t talked about it and for some reason, it feels like your heart is breaking more than when you caught your ex in bed with another woman.

Joel curls around you, and you feel the press of his lips on your shoulder.

You sigh, trying to hold onto the warmth of his embrace for just a little longer. His arms tighten around you.

“Morning, baby,” he murmurs, his voice thick with sleep.

“Morning,” you whisper back, trying to keep the sadness from your voice.

He shifts, propping himself up on one elbow to look at you. “What’s wrong?”

You force a smile, shaking your head. “Just...thinking about today.”

He frowns, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it too.”

Silence stretches between you, the unspoken reality of your impending separation hanging heavy in the air.

“I wish this didn’t have to end,” you finally admit, your voice barely more than a whisper.

“Me too,” he says softly, his thumb brushing gently across your skin. “I didn’t expect...any of this, but I’m glad it happened.”

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, and you blink them away, not wanting to cry. “What happens now?”

He’s quiet for a moment, his eyes searching yours. “I don’t know. But I don’t want to lose what we have.”

You nod, understanding. “Neither do I.”

He leans in, pressing his forehead to yours. “We’ll figure it out.”

You close your eyes, breathing in his scent, memorizing the feel of him against you.

“We should get goin’, sweetheart.”

You nod, and you’re on the road again before you know it.

After driving in silence for a while, you and Joel stop for a pit stop.

You’re in a gas station buying a Diet Coke when Joel gets a call on his CB radio. Another trucker has broken down not far from here and needs a lift.

Perfect timing, too. Joel knows exactly what will cheer you up.

++++

You’re unsure why you're exiting the highway again, but you don’t ask questions. As you pull into a gravel lot with a rather plain-looking building in view, Joel turns to you with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Got a surprise for you, Bambi.”

“A surprise?” you ask, curiosity piqued.

“Mhmm,” he hums, “C’mon, I’ll show you.”

He leads you across the lot, your hand in his, and your confusion only deepens when you see the sign for an adult video store.

You glance a him, eyebrows raised. “Joel, what are we doing here?”

“C’mon, you’ll see.” He takes your hand, guiding you inside. The store is dimly lit, shelves lined with tapes and various adult toys. He leads you to a room in the back, your heart pounding with anticipation and a touch of nervousness.

The room is bare for the most part, illuminated by a red light casting shadows on the walls. There’s a legit hole in the wall, the words Go For Glory etched above it. Your eyes widen. Is this…?

“What is this place?” you whisper.

He smiles, his eyes impossibly dark.

“It’s a place for fantasies, Bambi. Remember what you told me?”

Your breath catches. The memory of your conversation rushes back, and you realize what he’s offering. It’s unexpected and bold, but your trust in Joel makes you feel safe enough to explore it.

Joel steps closer, his hand gently cupping your cheek, looking at you in a way that makes you feel things you didn’t know you could.

“We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, but if you want to try, I’ll be right here with you.”

You take a deep breath, the mix of fear and excitement bubbling up inside you. Your heart is beating out of your chest, and your stomach is alive with butterflies.

You nod slowly, a shy smile tugging at your lips. “I – I want to.”

“Atta girl,” he praises as he guides you closer to the wall, his hands steady and reassuring. You position yourself in front of the hole, suddenly frozen. You’re so fucking nervous out of nowhere.

He sees it etched on your face. He remembers what you told him about how you like being with someone who takes control. Someone who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to show it. Someone who you could trust. Trust them to take care of you, to know your needs even before you do.

So he gives it to you.

He takes a step forward and grabs your face, cupping your cheeks in his hands.

“You’re in control here, baby. You have your safe word. Use it and we stop, no questions asked. Okay?” he says, voice steady, reassuring.

You look up at him through your lashes and nod. “Okay.”

He kisses your forehead tenderly, his touch soft and comforting.

“Good. Now get on your knees.”

You do as he says, falling to the linoleum ground beneath you, your hands neatly placed on your knees, awaiting further instruction. He stands above you, palming himself through his jeans.

You want to reach out to help him, but he hasn’t told you to, so you don’t. You kneel and look up at him, arousal already pooling into your panties.

He undoes his belt buckle and zips his jeans down. The sound is almost deafening in the quiet room. He shifts his pants and boxers down to the ground, revealing himself. His hand wraps around his shaft, he leans down and spits, and begins to pump it, his eyes locked onto yours. The sight of him, fully hard and glistening, captivates you.

You can’t take your eyes off him, your mouth watering at the thought of what’s to come.

“Fuck, you’re pretty. Could probably come just from looking at you.”

“Please, please let me touch you,” you ask, the words coming out more like a plea than a request.

The room is cherry red, but you don’t miss the way his pupils dilate from your request.

“Rather see you touch him, first, sweetheart,” he rasps, voice throaty and low.

Using his free hand, he knocks on the wall. A few moments later, a large cock appears through the hole. It’s big. Not as big as Joel in girth, but a little longer. It has a prominent mushroom head that’s already red and weeping and several large veins visible from under the skin.

Fuck.

Your hand grips around it, your fingertips barely touching, and you begin to slide your hand up and down, the skin of it velvety soft. The man behind the wall lets out a groan that’s muffled by the drywall.

“Spit on it,” Joel commands, eyes on you, but still paying attention to his own cock.

You lean forward and do as he says, the cock now glistening with your saliva. It makes the skin move easier under your touch, and the cock hardens even more. The thumb slips over the bead of precum on the tip, and you work it into the skin.

“Go on, Bambi. Show him how good you are with that little mouth of yours.”

You start slow, wrapping your lips around just the tip to start. You can tell the man behind the wall wants more from the noises you hear. You wonder what he would be doing to you right now if he could actually touch you, what he looks like. He has a nice cock, you think he might be just as handsome.

You hum in delight as you sink down onto him more, letting your jaw relax so you can take him deeper, savoring the salty taste of his skin.

You see Joel fucking his hand out of the corner of your eye, getting off on you sucking another man’s cock. And god, you’re into it – the sounds are filthy, but your delighted little moans have Joel unraveling like a runaway spool of thread. You look up and over at him through your wet lashes and let out a little wink, an innocent act considering you’re practically milking a cock that isn’t his and having fun with it.

The man behind the wall knocks twice, and Joel tells you to stop, or you’re gonna make him cum.

“Have other plans for you, Bambi. Come here,” he says, helping you up off the floor. He starts to undo the button on your shorts and quickly pulls them, along with your panties, down and off. Your inner thighs are glistening with your arousal, and Joel groans at the sight. He steps forward and cups your whole sex, his thick middle finger sinking into your wet cunt easily. He adds a second and then a third.

“God, you’re fucking dripping, aren’t you?” He releases his finger and pops it into his mouth, savoring your taste.

“Yeah, I think she can take it,” he rasps. He turns you so your back is facing the hole, and he pushes you back so your ass is neatly aligned with the hole.

“Spread your legs, baby,” he says, nudging your foot with his, so you’re standing in a wide V shape for support. “Thas’ it, just like that.”

He stands a few feet away from you and tells you to bend over at your waist and hold on to his hips for support. His hands grab your forearms for additional support.

Your wet pusy is visible to the man on the other slide, slick glistening on your folds. Fuck, what he wouldn’t give to see what you look like, but he takes what he gets.

He steps forward and aligns his cock with the hole, and his tip nudges up against your entrance. You’re on the other side, holding on to Joel, your face nearly eye level with his cock. Your jaw goes slack when the man presses forward, burying half of him inside of you. He pauses for a second, giving you a moment to adjust, before he pulls back and then slams all of him inside of you.

He’s deep, not as deep as he could be if he could use your hips as leverage, but you feel the tip of him pressed up against your cervix.

He begins to fuck you in earnest, and you don’t dare move yourself away from the wall, pressing your ass back hard so he has as much access to your pussy as possible.

“How’s it feel, baby?” Joel asks, and you’re too cock drunk to string a full sentence together, mumbling so good in between your moans. With your other hole occupied, you put your free one to good use.

Still bent over and taking it hard from a man you’ve never seen in your life, you begin to suck Joel off. He holds you steady while you angle your mouth just right, taking his cock deep down your throat. You think you hear another knock, knock on the wall, and Joel confirms it when he tells you what’s gonna happen next.

“He’s gonna fill you up, okay, baby? And then you’re all mine,” he growls, his breath a little erratic from the way you’re working his cock. You’re so fucking into all of this it has him teetering on the edge of his release.

The man stalls his thrusts and presses forward one final time. You can feel him buried to the hilt inside of you and hear a deep groan through the wall. You feel the slight throb of his cock, and then he gingerly pulls out.

When he does, you gently rise to stand, feeling a little sore from your odd position. You bring your fingers to your pussy and gather some of the cum in your fingers, and run it through your swollen folds. Your fingers brush against your throbbing clit. You were so lost in the haze of your arousal that you didn’t even care that you didn’t get your own release. Although something tells you that Joel will make sure to take care of you.

“My turn,” Joel rasps.

He turns you around so you’re facing the wall, pressing you up against it. The coolness of the surface causes your nipples to stiffen. His hand trails down your side, over the swell of your ass, and then he brings his hand to your pussy, from the front, the skin coated in cum and your own release.

His fingers find your clit, and you whimper, the sensation overwhelming. He circles it slowly, expertly, sending shivers through your entire body. You press your forehead against the wall, your breath coming in short gasps as he continues his teasing touches.

“You like that?” he murmurs into your ear, his voice low and husky. You nod, unable to form words, your body responding to his every movement.

His fingers move with practiced precision, alternating between gentle circles and firmer pressure, building the tension inside you. Your hips begin to move instinctively, seeking more of his touch. He chuckles softly, clearly enjoying the effect he has on you.

“Does my perfect girl wanna come?” he asks, ghosting your clit with his fingers. He’s giving you just enough to be a tease, not enough to make you come. “Wanna hear you say it.”

“Yes, Joel, need to come so bad, please,” you moan.

Right as you’re about to orgasm, Joel stops, removing his fingers.

You gasp. So close.

“You’re gonna come on my cock,” he says, running the tip of him through your wet and sticky folds. He collects some of the cum from the man and uses it as lube as he presses into you, entering you in one thrust. You’re so aroused, so ready for it, but the intrusion still knocks the air from your lungs.

One hand on your hip, he uses it to angle you down and back onto his cock, thrusting up into you with equal force. His other hand returns to your pussy, and he quickly has you on the cusp of your orgasm like he did a minute ago.

He fucks you hard, barely leaving your wet, tight cunt before he’s thrusting up into you again.

He begins a relentless pace, thrusting his cock deep inside of you, the obscene sounds of the clapping noises spurs you on. He reangles your body, forcing you to arch your back against him. The new position lets him take you deeper, harder. Holding you against his chest, he snakes a free hand around, and his fingers find your clit once more. He makes soft circles on your clit, working you with each thrust until he once again has you climbing the ladder to your climax.

“Filthy fucking girl, coating me in another man's cum,” he rasps, voice low. “I can tell you like this, baby, letting us both use you, fill you up so good.”

You moan, your body trembling as he increases the pressure, pushing you closer to the edge. The combination of his skilled fingers and the rough texture of the wall against your sensitive skin is almost too much to bear.

“Joel,” you gasp, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ve got you,” he reassures, his fingers never faltering. The intensity builds, your whimpers turning into desperate cries as he drives you higher and higher.

“God you’re perfect,” he praises.

“You want my cum, baby? Gotta ask for it.”

You squirm and babble yes, yes, want your cum and he holds in place as you begin to unravel once more for him. Your hole contracts around him, your perky tits bouncing as he continues to fuck you through it. You’re so tight, your sweet sounds have his own orgasm not far off.

His hips slow, and he lets out a rough moan, spilling inside of you. He pauses there, and you feel him gently pulsate and twitch as your walls drain every last bit of cum inside him.

When he’s finished, he pulls out and steps back, kneeling down behind you. He looks up at you, his eyes dark with desire, and pulls your cheeks apart. You feel a flood of cum dribble out of you, a thick stream connecting from your pussy to the floor. You must look obscene right now.

Joel smacks your ass, and you let out a little yelp.

“Damn near got you bundled out (loaded to max capacity), don’t we?” He smirks as he says it, admiring the way the cum dribbles out of you.

He stands up, looking down at you with a satisfied smile. “You did a good job,” he says, his voice gentle and full of pride. “Are you okay?”

You nod, a warm feeling spreading through you at his words and the remnants of your orgasm. “I’m more than okay,” you reply, your voice steady and sure.

When you go to put your clothes back on, he tells you that he doesn’t want you to clean yourself up, that he wants to know you’re sitting in his truck, spilling out onto his seats, full of his cum and then some.

His lips ghosting yours, he whispers that you’re his before he kisses you. You lean into him, your breath hitching at the possessiveness in his tone. It’s intoxicating, knowing how much he wants you, how much he’s willing to claim you as his own.

When you walk out of the building, you’re a fucked out mess. He opens the door to the truck and helps you up, his touch steadying you.

He pulls himself up into the driver's seat, and you start to buckle yourself in, but he gently stops you.

“Gotta move over, darlin’. Come sit near me,” he says, his voice warm, like he didn’t just absolutely wreck you 10 minutes ago.

You slide over, feeling the comfort of his presence. Just as you settle in, another man hops into the truck.

You blink in surprise, glancing at him. “Who are you?”

The man grins and extends a hand. “Hi sugar, I’m Tommy,” he says, his smile disarming.

“Tommy, as in Joel’s brother, Tommy?” you ask, glancing up at Joel.

Joel smirks. “The one and only,” Tommy says.

“He’s the one whose cum is running down your thigh with mine, baby,” Joel winks, “wouldn’t trust anyone else to share ya with,” he says, and the engine rumbles to life.

One bad day doesn’t make your whole life bad.

As you cross the Texas state line, you let yourself believe it this time.

END

A/N Continued: I need them carnally. That is all. If you like this, please consider a reblogging or leaving a comment! Your feedback means a lot to me. Thank you for your support. Ily. Tags: @syd-djarin @endlessthxxghts @thereaperisabitch @caramilena @promptly-mercy @alex-does-art-things @swankyorange @ayishahislost @bensonispunk @doblasftcisco @lizlil @pigeonmama @sullyselena @deansimpalagirl @theelectricmind @pedropascalsbbg @laramc-02 @elegantduckturtle @rainbow12346 @senoratess @eff4freddie @auteurdelabre @yxtkiwiyxt @javipispunk @reedrchards @miller-n-morgan @sawymredfox @casa-boiardi @punkshort @pastawench @survivingandenduring @aspecialgreenie @puduvallee @moel-jiller @sheepdogchick3 @fallingforthirty @pigeonmama

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freneziwlp · 26 days

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curls curls curls curls

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freneziwlp · 28 days

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tessa 🖤🖤🖤🖤

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freneziwlp · 29 days

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Today at Uni I was buying a snack with my friend, and this girl behind me was talking bout how Pedro's so fucking hot and how much of a daddy he is and the look me and my friend exchanged was EXACTLY like Shrek's

He immediately went like, "Yeah, that's definitely the group you should be hanging with" cause literally yesterday I was panicking on his dm fangirling and whoring (?) around towards pedro SKSKSKSK

#gottabuildasocietynamed

#whoresforjosepedro

#i'moldpeoplesexual

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader

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freneziwlp · 30 days

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I hate when you're away

Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: Joel fucks the soreness away.

Warnings: +18 MDNI, smut smut smut ahead, unprotrected p-in-v, fingering, mentions of blowjob, cum eating, begging, horny asf Joel, eating out, daddy kink.

A/n: it's my first weekend with some time off, and what else should I be doing instead of trying my first attempt of writing smut hm hm?! Hehehe enjoy :) also, GIF ain't mine.

" Joel, baby! I'm so sore. " You whine softly as your fingers tenderly caress his tousled morning locks while he spreads warm, affectionate kisses all the way down your abdomen, tracing a path to his intended destination.

" Shhh, just relax now princess, let daddy stretch ya needy lil hole just a bit for his cock, will ya? " His thick accent sending shivers down your spine, leading you into closing your eyes, missing the way Joel spits in his fingers before smearing the sticky liquid all over your still puffy clit from last night's event, rubbing tight circles on the bud and dragging moisture up and down your pussy before shoving two dampened fingers inside you, curling his digits against your spongy walls, feeling you squeezing his fingers inside, your head falling back onto the mattress as you moans his name and bucks your hips against his palm.

Joel had spent a few weeks out due to one of his often travels around the state, doing god knows what with his most faithful partner, Tess. You used to be jealous of their proximity once you realized you had more than a crush on him, annoyed at how close she could casually be around him without making things up as an excuse to get his attention. Thankfully, the jealousy quickly went down the toilet once you found out she probably liked women more than himself did when she boldly hit on you while she was drunk, which you might even had enjoyed if you weren't so focused on seducing her partner.

You were reading a book on the living room's couch when you heard the jingle of keys unlocking you and Joel's shared apartment's door, your back sinking in an somehow uncomfortable position in the old cushions. You dropped your book aside, getting up to greet your man as he had spent long enough away from you, making you all needy for his presence and touch. To your dismay, instead of embracing you with his strong arms and whispering sweet nothings against your hair in attempt to show you how bad he had missed you, Joel didn't even look at you on his way in, dropping his seemingly weighty backpack on the floor, loud thud filling the air, before hurriedly barging in to the bathroom, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

You froze next to where he had just gotten in, not knowing how to react to his awfully unsual demeanor. As a matter of fact, you hadn't even had time to look in his eyes, only taking a hint of his beyond smudged clothes as he stormed away from you. Concern fill your chest as you begin to try to piece the puzzle on what had happened for him to act so distressed. Had the work he went to get done gone wrong? Was he pissed at someone who deared to go against him? You even wondered if Tess had gotten fucking killed by some motherfucking clicker. An assumption that soon vanished once you hear her voice on the other side of your door, talking to someone random on the hall.

Maybe he was just sick of you, afterward. Maybe he had gotten back to his strict and fuzzy way of treating you just like he was when you first got in his and his friend's way.

Unbestknown to you, the reason Joel had ignored your presence was due a fucked up wet dream he had had in the middle of the night when camping in the woods a few days earlier, leading him into waking up with a hard and leaking cock against the restrain of his pants, furious at how he wouldn't be able to take care of it when Tess was snoring right next to him and you were miles away. He tried to ease himself the best he could, struggling whenever he'd revivid the dream where he had you all on fours as he pounded you from behind, squirting on his cock as he demanded for you to cum, referring to him as daddy.

Well fuck, the way he missed your cunt the following travelling days should be forbidden.

The second Joel left his shower he went out looking for you, not bothering to wrap himself up in a towel much less get his body dried. You were sitting down, still in the living room, blankly staring at a random wall when he found you, a hint of regret hitting him when he realized that it was probably his fault you were so quiet but the incessant throb of his cock vanished the concern away. He approached you with loud steps, your eyes widening as you take in his naked form, droplets of water tracing paths behind him and all over his shaped body onto the floor below his feet, your eyes following his whole, parking at his pelvis where his cock was standing hard against his wet stomach, tip glistening with precum. Your mouth went dry as waves of shocks found their way up to the pitch of your stomach landing onto your core, it was safe to say the image of him only took mere seconds to affect you. Joel had his glare stuck on your face, his features harsh and eyebrows furrowed, almost as if he was in pain.

Joel knew that if he looked at you the moment he walked home, all sweet and loving with your big sparkly eyes staring at him, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself as he was in a dreadful need of your mouth on him, but he couldn't give in before taking a long shower, there was no way you would even want to fuck with him smelling like shit. So instead, he chose to ignore you, which wasn't the smartest choice considering you probably would have nasty second thoughts on it, but he would make things up with you the sooner he was all clean and smeeling nice. And boy, did he do.

" Hi there, doll. Have you missed me?" you nodded, speechless. " Well then why don't ya kneel for daddy and show me how much ya missed him, huh? "

The following events were all a blur, your body probably working on auto pilot as it only took seconds before Joel had himself shoved deep down your throat, hands tugging tightly around your hair as he bobbed your head against him the harder he could, desperate to fill your throat with his thick ropes of cum in attempt to get rid of the burning feeling of his need. Which obviously, wasn't enough. After making you give him head he fucked you senseless on the floor, making sure to vividly manevour you in all of the positions he had dreamt of while traveling. You and Joel spent the following hours drowning yourselves in each other's desires until there was no hint of energy left for you to keep going.

That was until he woke you up the morning after, in your shared bed, spreading warm kisses all over your face and neck, engulfing himself into the warmth of your body and silently thanking the heavens for letting him return home safe to your embrace. No matter how much of you he had taken the previous night, his cock didn't seem to take any near satisfaction from it.

He keeps fingering you until the previous soreness you'd been feeling turned into a desperate buck of your hips, wishing for him not to stop, your cunt twitching and leaking as you feel yout orgasm approaching.

" Are you ready for me, doll? " Joel towers over your laying trembling body, bending his torso so he could grab your tits, assaulting your erect buds with harsh pinches. You moans, nodding quickly " Yeah? Then beg for it, wanna hear ya say it "

He knew you hated when he made you beg, annoyed at how easily he could work his way onto your brain and manipulate you into becoming nothing but a slutty whore for him. He knew you hated that you were so easy to succumb to him, not willing to stop once you had it started.

" Oh don't ya try to stop yourself from bein' my bitch now, doll. Your pussy's dying for my cock to get it all wretched " You whimper, your core burning for him.

" Please Joel, p-please... please fuck me! Come on, ugh, I need you inside me already "

Your pleads seem to ignite fire on him as he lowers his face next to yours and smirk hungrily, like a predator scolding his prey. Joel presses his lips against yours in a harsh motion, swallowing your moans. He keeps on clutching on your tits, his free hand lowers to grab his member, holding it against your now drenched cunt. He interrupts the kiss and gets back to kneeling in front of you on the bed, he positions his throbbing cock onto your entrance, bumping on it, eliciting a loud moan from you.

" Mhmm, such a naughty lil bitch for me, all whinin' and beggin', gonna fill you up so good hun' " All of his teasing was growing impatience in you, he hell knows how to drive you insane and would never skip the opportunity of seeing you squirming underneath him " Joel, will you shut the fuck up and fuck me already? For fuck sakes! "

" So much swearing for sucha pretty lil mouth, I think someone's growing mad at me now, huh " He mocked, causing you to growl in annoyance, but before you could complain any further Joel fully knocked himself inside you with no previous warning, thrusting his hips rapidly, both of his hands wrapped around your hips, pushing you desperately against him as his face contorted in pleasure. Your arms pull him against you making his torso bend over again, face falling onto the crook of your neck as you stick your nails into the flesh of his back, scratching and pulling him closer in a way that probably would draw blood from it, which only seemed to get Joel even more turned on as his cock would fuck you harder at each second.

" Yes, yes, yes, FUCK, fuck don't stop, don't stop baby! " Joel smirks, admiring your perky tits bouncing next to his face.

" Such a good girl begging for me. Fuck, ya pussy feels so tight, squeeze daddy's cock harder baby, c'mon " Joel mutters against your neck, his warm lips popping loud pecks and bites on it, you loved the way his beard would scrape your skin while he was fucking you.

" Mhmmm yes, want you cumming inside me daddy, I know you can't get enough of m-me, oh fuck! "

" Fuck, ya know me so damn well, don't ya? Daddy's gonna cum so hard, doll. Where do ya want me huh? " Joel pounds your pussy harder at each sentence, you know he's close from cumming, his hips muscles burning and twitching from how hard he's thrusting his way inside you, loud wet noises filling the air and sweat dripping down his naked back as you keep on scratching it raw.

" I-inside me daddy, mhmm ughh fuck please please fuck... gonna cum, fuck... I'm c-cumming Joel "

Joel tried his best to delay his release, to make the addicting feeling of your pussy swallowing him last the longer it could, but how could he ever control himself when his girl was begging so beautifully for him? How could he resist the thought of cumming so hard inside you that it would make you see stars and scream his name? Joel is addicted to you in ways he had never been with any other woman and his body would always betray him on it. He wouldn't miss the opportunity of bragging about making you cum when himself had jerked off so many times to the thought of it while he was still a mere friend of yours.

Joel growls, emptying himself inside you, cock twitching abruptly as white ropes of cum paint the tight walls of your cunt, your eyes rolling to the back of your head once you reach your own orgasm, jaw hanging open before eliciting a loud whine.

When you're both finished, Joel's body falls upon yours, panting and sweating, his cock softening within your warmth. He kisses your sternum, resting his eyes and listening to your heartbeat.

He pulls his cock out of your hole and you stops breathing for a moment when you feel his hot seed dripping down your pussy, you didn't know if it was the aftershocks of your climax but you could feel something gathering on your lower belly again. You shove one of your hands in between you and Joel's body, your fingers collecting his dripping cum and smearing it upon your swollen clit, making a mess all over it, dragging a low whimper from your throat, which caught your boyfriend's attention.

" Watcha doin' down there, doll? Seems like I'm not the only one who can't get satisfied, huh? "

" Mhmm, seems like it, yes "

" Here, lemme do the work for my woman "

Joel lowers his body all the way between your legs, nipping on your belly until he finds the spot you needed him so badly. You were still recovering from your previous orgasm but there was something about you being covered in his cum that wouldn't let your nerves cool down, you needed him just one more time.

He holds one of your legs and rest it above his shoulder, licking the insides of your thigh before stopping by your pussy, closing his eyes and inhaling your scent, his cock twitching for what it feels like the millionth time since he had gotten back, which almost seemed impossible but honestly, he couldn't care less about possibilities. Joel's jaw drops against your puffy core, his lips caressing your clit in a silent tease, he taste his own juices on you in a delicious mix of musky and sweet.

Lapping up your gathering moist, Joel licks and sucks on your pussy, pressing his tongue right where he knows you would die on the inside, you feel the coil building up again, tousling your fingers in his hair you pull him impossibility closer, bucking your hips on his skillful mouth, he alternates between shoving his tongue inside you and assaulting your clit with circling pressured motions. You feel as if you might explode at any time, wondering when he had learned to give head so fucking well, hints of jealousy hitting you when for a mere 2 seconds you imagine him making other women feel this way, getting interrupted by your orgasm ripping through your body.

If whenever Joel would return from a long trip he would make things up with you by giving you the pleasure of seeing him panting, face covered in your cum and a smirk on his lips after fucking you senseless for a whole night, then maybe it wouldn't be all bad having him away for a lil bit.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #the last of us #the last of us drabble #joel miller imagine #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #tlou

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freneziwlp · 1 month

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Tender

Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: A short drabble in which you find some solace in the caring hands of Joel after a long day :)

Warning: none, just pure fluff! caring man ahead <3

a/n: I've never really written anything but that's just a lil something my body been needing atm so please big joel come here! also, GIF ain't mine 💫

As the day waned, and the sun dipped low on the horizon, you return home after long working hours. In the meantime, Joel couldn't miss the exhaustion etched into every step of yours, shoulders slumped, and movements slow as you walk towards him.

"Hey there, darlin'," Joel drawled, his Texan accent rolling off his tongue, as his thick eyebrows furrow into a concerned expression. "You seem a bit distressed, what's wrong?"

You managed a smile, though it didn't quite reach your eyes as it typically would. "Just a long day, honey. Feels like I've been walking for miles."

Joel's gaze softened as he took in your fatigued expression. "Well, come on now, let me take care of ya."

Guiding you indoors, he escorted you to the couch and gently began a massage on your aching shoulders, his robust hands skillfully untangling knots and relieving some local tension. You let out a sigh, lowly whining as you feel hints of relief invading your body.

"Feels so good, Joel. Heavens bless your hands" you murmured, eyes fluttering closed.

Joel continued to knead your muscles, his firm yet tender touch, offering a comforting presence amidst the trembling fatigue engulfing your body. "You work too hard, darlin'. Gotta remember to take care of yourself, ya know."

You nodded, smiling softly as your exhaustion start to melt away under his ministrations and caring tone "I know, Joel. But it's worth it, knowing I've got you here to take care of me."

As Joel continued to soothe you, the worries of the day faded into the silent background, replaced by the warmth and comfort of the hands of your Texas guy, as your heart swells in gratitude by the realization that no matter when, you're always gonna be his soft spot.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller imagine #joel miller drabble #the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader

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freneziwlp · 1 month

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If I was joel miller's cockslut I for sure wouldn't be so distressed by daily shit :)))

#pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller x reader #the last of us

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freneziwlp · 6 months

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Desperate 💦

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Rating: 18+ Explicit

Word Count: 6.1k

Summary: You leave Joel in a uncomfortable situation all day while you’re at work. Hours go by and Joel struggles to keep his craving under control. And once you’re home, Joel can’t seem to give you his full potential.

Warning: 18+ SMUT, no use of Y/N, no age mentioned, mostly Joel’s pov, pet names (from both), Joel is a little sub in this but he’s a little dom too?, F!oral, blowjob, Joel gets blue balls, P in V, unprotected sex (don’t be naughty!), Joel's very horny in this, doggy style, premature ejaculation, creampie, overstimulation, rougher sex near the end, one cheeky ass slap, Joel comes twice (love that), Joel is soft and needy so make sure you’re ready. Also, I write the word cock wayyy to many times in this.

🤍 Okay listen, because I have somethin to say. The thought of Joel being so desperate and finishing early has me actually weak and I had to write about it. It’s such a compliment when this happens! Anywayyy, I hope you all had an amazing New Year!🫶🏼 And if you liked this, please let me know what you thought!🩵

If you’d like to be added to my Taglist. Please let me know! @harriedandharassed @mumma-moonchild @millercontracting @chyannealaniz 🤍

Joels week had gone at an agonisingly slower pace than usual, but thankfully his weekend off had finally arrived. The weekend was always the time Joel would cherish the most; not having to wake up in the early hours of the morning to then spend twelve plus hours cutting, shaping and assembling wood that would soon have him shouting obscene profanity into the air, or hands trying not to gouge his eyes out from the tense strain he felt in them. He wouldn’t arrive back home late almost every night, exhausted, worn out and in desperate need of sleep.

Joel didn’t have to deal with any of that on the weekends. He didn’t have to put up with impatient customers or irritating coworkers. Instead, he’d wake up feeling refreshed, positive, and eager to spend the days with you.

But for Joel, this day would be different than the others. Your work was currently understaffed and had asked if you could go in for a full day, and Joel knew instantly, being the people pleaser you were, you wouldn’t turn it down.

You were only going to be gone for a little while, surely what could go wrong?

⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰

Joel's 'issue' had started early in the morning, when he abruptly woke up just before your alarm with his cock immediately begging for attention, needing your attention. Joel knew he should let you sleep, knowing you’d both been up late last night with a similar issue that he was currently dealing with right now, but how could he not? You were facing away from him, hair spread out and resting over your pillow with the cover just resting under your armpit. His lips would eventually wake you with tender kisses and roaming hands would glide across your naked thighs, with his own hips thrusting into you, his hard cock rubbing up against your back and a quiet mumble of a good morning baby now caressing the side of your cheek.

It’s the first time Joel opens his eyes and his stares immediately on you, watching you with a hooded gaze, his pupils adjusting to the dark surroundings. His eyes observe the way your lashes flutter against your face, your eyelids lazily opening, limbs stretching out and face pulling inwards as you alter to the morning sun subtly passing through the spilt in your closed curtains, and to Joel's now wondering mouth and hands.

"Joel…" You hum his name and he groans at the way it falls weakly from your lips, sounding so soft and warm, his length throbbing inside his confined boxers with how it vibrated onto his skin.

“G’morning baby,” Joel repeats, shuffling himself even closer and wrapping both arms around your waist, caging you in as his head falls into the crevice of your neck, his silky curls tickling the side of your face.

His hard cock lies on your lower back, and your body shivers.

"Joel, honey we can't. I have work today, remember? I'll be late—" you whine, voice unforgiving but your body’s soon reacting to the way his hands mark and trace your skin.

"Mmm come on sweetheart. Please. l'll be nice and quick, I promise.” Joel's already pulling the covers off and you gasp at the crisp breeze that falls onto your bare skin, his fingers sliding your wet panties down your legs, his lips moving lower and lower until his teeth gently bite down on the flesh on your thigh.

He stares at your soaked cunt and spreads your folds open with the tip of his finger, you were always so fucking wet and ready, and Joel unintentionally licks his lips at the sight.

“Jus’—please. Just lemme have a taste, s’all I need."

The next lie leaves his mouth with sheer certainty and confidence, “only need five minutes baby.”

You look down at him with your eyebrows raised.

And that look has Joel thinking, “shit yeah okay. Maybe ten, give me ten.” And you chuckle at him, your hands soothing his wide shoulders.

“Alright Joel. You’ve got ten minutes. I can’t keep being late, not this time okay?”

He gives you a reassuring nod, his wet lips moving down as he sucks your clit into his mouth, your hands reaching into his hair from the sudden shock.

“Oh my god—yes Joel,” you pant, fingers pulling tightly on his curls, and Joel groans at the harsh pull, the sound wavering causing your hips to buckle up, pushing his face deeper into you.

He hums into your needy cunt, his eyes dropping shut whilst he pushes his two fingers into your hole, curly them up and hitting your pleasure point.

He licks at your folds and gives your clit a light flick, “you look s’good spread out like this for me baby.”

The air is covered in your blissful moans, the sound of your arousal wetting Joel fingers and sliding down his knuckles and wrist while he fucks you at a steady pace.

“Fuckin’ dreamt about this pretty pussy.”

Joel loves to build it up slowly, to get you right there at a pace where he knows you’ll beg and beg and beg him to make you come, each curve of his fingers and his tongue teasing you closer to your release.

And fuck can Joel feel it right now. He can see it in your face, those short burst of air being pulled into your lungs, your back curving off the bed, your thighs and hips shaking and walls hugging his calloused digits.

“M’that’s it baby,” he ushers, “I know you can feel it. Go on, let go f’me.”

And you do, so effortlessly too, your pussy releasing that pressure and gushing your arousal all over his mouth and stubble, your cunt twitching and convulsing on his fingers as he keeps up with his rhythm, prolonging your orgasm as he helps you ride out your high.

Joel unlatches his lips from your abused clit and pulls his digits out of your cunt, lifting his body so he’s back on top of you with his mouth dropping down onto yours, his moustache and stubble wet with your release as he deepens the kiss.

“Christ you taste fuckin’ incredible, could stay in between your legs all day.” Joel praises, kissing your neck until his lips lick and bite and nibble at your collarbone.

His bends his arm so it’s flat on the mattress to hold his weight while he inches his other lower and under the waistband of his boxers, “let me feel your pussy on my cock darlin’.”

You cease Joel’s movements before he goes any further, “Joel…” you moan, “I—baby we can't. You promised. I have to get up. We'll get back to this when I’m home okay?”

Joel let’s out a whine in the crevice of your neck. Fuck he doesn't want to stop but he knows he needs to.

"Come on baby”, he attempts to protest, “I don’t think I can wait. I really need you now.”

The sound of your alarm going off on you bedside table gives Joel the exact answer.

You pout your lips at him, doe eyes pondering into his own, smiling at his neediness. “Don't give me that look Joel. You can wait. I'II be back home before you know it, and then you can have me however you like."

Joel groans at your words, his eyes drooping down at you. He lifts his body off you so he's back to lying on his side of the bed, arms slumped over his eyes to hide his sexual aggravation.

⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰

Joel watches you freshen up and get ready in the bathroom, his body still slouched in the warmth of the covers. You have a quick shower and brush your teeth, you make yourself look presentable and change into your work clothes, now all set and prepared to leave the house.

With the time that it’s taken you to get yourself up and going, Joel thought his body would’ve relaxed by now, but throughout all of his observing of you, his cock was still hard.

His length was throbbing and his tip was now leaking in his boxers, and so sensitive to touch when he'd add minimal pressure on it to relieve some of that heavy strain.

A few minutes later you come back into the bedroom, giving him his usual morning coffee and a quick see you soon honey and a kiss goodbye on his lips. But before Joel can muster up another word to keep you here, the bedroom door shuts, leaving him in his own train of thought.

His body falls back on the bed in failure, groaning at his knowing regret.

He knew as he laid there he could make himself come, and fuck it would be so easy if he did. The sweet taste of your arousal still lingered on his lips and fingers as he brought them up to his mouth, swirling his tongue around the digits and sucking the remains of your taste off them, a painful sigh erupting from his throat.

Your taste makes his hips buckle up involuntarily, bringing back that vivid memory of being back in between your legs again.

As his cock rests heavy in his boxers, Joel still hadn’t touch himself, not even once. And even though he really needs to, he decides he’s going to wait. He actually wants to wait. So once you’re back home, he’ll get to show you how much he’s missed you.

But fuck Joel was well aware at how hard it was going to be to ignore that temptation.

⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰

When Joel gathers enough energy to, he crawls out your shared bed and gets himself ready for the day. He starts off by making himself some breakfast, pairing it with his now cold coffee you made him. He then takes a quick shower and brushes his teeth, and finishes off by grabbing a fitted top from the drawer and pairing it with a pair of jeans.

He tries to find things around the house to fill up the hours until he sees you; he checks his unread emails, he has another cup of coffee, he also results in cleaning around the house and finishes off the left over chores.

He struggles to push the feeling to the back of his mind, to avoid the pulsating he felt in his jeans but fuck he couldn’t help it. He still feels it, that craving. It continues to grow and spread all across his body, it starts to cover all aspects of his mind.

Joel’s established that this was going to be a lot harder than he thought.

⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰

You had been gone for three hours now, not that Joel was checking his watch every half an hour, and it couldn’t of gone any slower for him. Joel as expected, had eventually ran out of chores and jobs to do, so he drops himself down onto the sofa with a heavy thump.

How was Joel going to the last the whole day like this? It’s bad enough that he’s bored but to top it off his cocks still fully hard. And whenever he looks down, his neediness is clearly evident in the way his jeans are pressurised around his crotch.

Maybe if he messages you and told you about his 'current situation', you'd make him feel somewhat better.

So he reaches over and grabs his phone that rested on top of the coffee table.

Joel: Darlin’. I’m sorry and I know you’re busy but fuck I’m going mad here. I’m still hard from this morning and you’ve been gone for 3 hours. I need you.

He gazes down at the screen, thumbs shaking and whispering a please fucking answer to himself. You’re going to be occupied with jobs he knows that, he just hopes you’ve got your phone on you to help ease him and his ongoing position.

His heart thumps when he sees those familiar dots appearing on the screen. Thank god.

You: Well hello to you too.

You: Whats gotten into you babe. Haven’t you just had me?

You: Wasn’t tasting me this morning enough for you?

Of course you push and spur him on. The fact that he's messaging you like this; telling you how much he wants you, how’s he’s still hard for you and how much his cocks needs you, for you to then just tease him about it has him yearning for you even more.

Joel: No it wasn’t enough darlin.

Joel: You’re never enough.

Joel: Need you to sit on my cock baby. I’m so fucking hard just thinking about it. Wanted it so bad this morning.

Joel: I don’t think I can last if you’re not here in the next hour.

Joel: Please baby. I really can’t wait till you get home.

Before Joel met you, he never used to be like this. He never was the type of man to be overcome with a passion for someone or even sex in general. It hadn't even been twelve hours since Joel felt the comforts of your pussy on his cock, and by the way he was acting, you’d think it had been fucking months.

You: Well you'll have to wait babe.

You: I'll be home soon, just hold tight.

You: I know you can do that for me Joel.

He groans at your sternness, his head falling back onto the sofa and throwing his phone to the side.

⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰

Four hours till you’d be home.

And all Joel had done was waltz around the house like a mad man. Packing the rest of his day with unnecessary jobs or current projects that needed to be finished for next week when he was back at work on Monday.

He eats random contexts from the fridge, he fixes the kitchen tap that started leaking just the other day, he even makes himself a neat whisky with ice, yes it’s that bad, hoping the alcohol with relax the thumping of his heart, the heat flowing through his veins.

He paces round the front room, his body striding from one side to the other. Pull yourself together Joel. Stop fucking thinking about it.

Fuck this he thinks. He can’t take anymore of the waiting. He reaches back and pulls his phone out of his jean pocket, preparing to bombard you with desperate and continuous messages;

Joel: Darlin come home please.

Joel: I can’t take this anymore.

Joel: Thinking about this morning and how you felt on my fingers.

Joel: Fuck baby you tasted so good, licked you off of my fingers when you left.

Joel: Need to feel your pussy around me darlin’. I'll be so good to you, give you whatever you want.

Joel: Gonna fill you up just how you like it.

As Joel began to type his promises to you, his own conscience comes crashing forward, his feet hesitant and stalling to an immediate standstill.

Shit. What would eventually happen when you walked through the door? Could he even give you his full potential when you do? How was he going to fuck you when his cock was so close to coming already?

Joel had been hard for the past five hours now, and he knew indefinitely that the moment his cock is engulfed by your warm and wet walls, he’d without a doubt, come.

This need to have you starts to make his mind dizzy, his vision is clouded and becomes blurry. It causes his knees to buckle under him with each weak step he takes. It causes his body to feel hot, his skin sticking to the material covering his body, his forehead cascaded in a thin sheen of sweat.

He needs to come. No, he has to come if he's planning on fucking you when you get home. And Joel can't wait much longer for you to reply to his texts, so he hits the call button, waiting to hear the sound of your voice.

And just a few seconds later, you answer.

"Hey Joel, y’called just at the right time. I’m just going on my break.” Your voice comes out a little breathless, it’s mumbled, like you’ve been busy with something on the other end.

“How are you honey? Sorry I haven’t texted you in a while."

He wipes his dampened forehead with the back of his hand, his lower limbs squeezing the muscles in his thighs. "Hey baby,” Joel chokes, coughing out the strain in his voice. “Why don't y’come home on your break?“

He waits for you to say something, but there’s nothing as he prays your next words are yeah okay baby, sure. I'll be there in five.

A silenced chuckle leaves your end of the phone. “You know I can’t do that Joel. I’ve only just got half an hour and it takes me twenty just to get home. Why? What’s wrong?”

He digs the tip of his fingers into his temples, “don’t act like this, y’know exactly what’s wrong. Christ sweetheart you're killing me here. I need you to come home, like right now."

He swears he can feel you smile against your phone.

“It’s that bad huh?”

“Yes. Please sweetheart. I’m begging you.”

"Poor Joel. You need me that bad do you? Is your cock still hard since you texted me last?"

You’re fucking voice. The way you playfully edge him on. The way the sound travels down and straight to the tip of his cock, his arousal seeping all over his boxers.

It lights up a dangerous spark, his hands pulling at his belt as Joel unbuttons his jeans and lifts his hips up to pull them down his thighs.

This is the first time he’s looked at his cock since he got changed this morning and fuck he was wet. So wet. Joel wraps his hand around his girth and instantly has to tighten his first around his tip he’s that close to coming, and he wants to make sure you to hear all of it.

He bites on his bottom lip, voice quivering. "Yes…fuck darlin’ I’m still hard. I don't— I don’t think I can wait any longer. Jus’—shit keep talkin’ t’me like that.”

Joel’s breath hitches in his throat, the sound of his deprived moans becoming higher and higher in pitch, until it’s cut off with your voice ringing in his ears.

“Are…are you touching yourself Joel?”

His voice breaks and the squelching of his hand stoking his cock fills the room, the slick pooling at his head getting wetter and more projecting. “Yes I-I need—fuck baby m’gonna come."

"Don't you touch yourself Joel. I mean it. You better stop and wait till I get home.”

He can sense you’ve abandoned everything you were doing, putting full attention to the situation in hand. “Be a good boy Joel and wait for me.”

He nods at your demanding words, faltering his movements and it makes his eyes water. Fuck he was so close.

Joel chokes out a shaky yes before the phone call ends, your low and commanding voice echoing in the back of his mind.

Don't touch yourself Joel. I mean it.

⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰

You should have been home twenty minutes ago, and Joel was officially at his wits end, feet banging on the old oak wood flooring and hands in his hair to let out some of his built up frustration. You never had to do any overtime, you’d always arrive home at the same time each shift.

So why weren't you home?

Joel feels like he could pass out he’s that desperate. How he’s lasted the full 8 hours without coming is beyond him.

His ears pick up the sound of a car door shutting, your footsteps following up the driveway, only this time they're much louder, they’re rushed. He knew his words and texts affected you as much as it did him. So when Joel's gets up from the sofa to open the door for you, and when he sees your body standing in the doorway, his heart freezes.

You smile up at him, "hey Joel. Sorry I’m late the traffic wa—,” your words are knocked from your lips when Joel drops his head down and collides his mouth onto yours, a heavy exhale leaving his nostrils.

Joel pulls you inside whilst grabbing the back of your head and slamming the door shut before he pushes you up against it, your back colliding with the wood as he presses his chest into yours.

His cocks hard and thick, digging into your thigh causing you to gasp openly into his mouth.

He needs you to understand. He licks and pours his wants into your mouth in hopes you know that he had listened to you, that he didn’t touch himself after your words, even though he needed to, that he had been good for you.

Joel’s hovers his lips so there merely just touching yours, his eyes dark and pupils blown, "fuck baby. M’gonna explode if I don’t have you now. Shit—I need to fuck you."

And who would you be to deny him? He had done just what you’d asked of him, and that was clearly evident in the way he was pressing his cock closer to you.

You smooth his jaw with your thumb, and his head falls into the feeling. “You’ve been s’good for me Joel. Not touching yourself. You gonna let me help you? You gonna let me make you come?” You capture his lips with a quick kiss, using both hands to undo his belt, with Joel’s eager hands joining in and helping you undo the buttons, his stare concentrated on your bruised lips.

You swiftly drop to your knees and Joel groans at the sight. "Fuck sweetheart, I won’t last if you—"

"Shush Joel,” you calmly interrupted him, looking up and hooking your fingers into his belt loops.

“Want your cock inside my mouth first.”

Joel doesn’t know why, but he’s assisting you as you pull his jeans and boxers down in one fleeting move, his thick length bouncing up and now only inches away from your face.

Joel doesn’t think he’s ever been this hard. His tips painfully red and swollen, his shafts decorated with long veins that coat the sides of him, and his pre-comes everywhere. It’s messy, and it makes your mouth water.

“Fuck Joel you’re so wet. I’ve been neglecting you haven’t I. So big and desperate for me aren’t you.”

You grab his hard cock in your hand and bring the tip of his length to your mouth, swirling your tongue along his slit and collecting the pre-come around his head, the salty taste of him pouring all over your tastebuds.

"Fuckkk baby I can’t—" his words are cut off with a sharp intake of breath, your mouth on him instantaneously bringing his orgasm to the surface.

“You can baby,” you praise. “Jus’ hold on for me. Let me do this for you.”

And that’s when you take his length all the way down your throat, altering between licking the sides of his cock and sucking his tip into you mouth, hollowing out your cheeks and hands gripped firmly to his trembling thighs.

"Christ—” Joel grits, “sweetheart m'not gonna last if y’keep that up."

You release his cock from your mouth and look up towards him, fluttering your eyelashes at him as you slowly stoke his length with your hand.

"Why Joel? You gonna come? You gonna come down my throat if I don’t stop?”

You had a filthy mouth when you put your mind to it. Joel musters up a feeble yes, his one hand bracing itself on the door, and the other is in the back of your hair. He needs to come so bad, and he’d want nothing more than to come down your throat, but he wants to be inside you when he does.

His stomach tenses in, and it hits him. One more pull of your fist on his cock he’s going to come in your hand.

"O-okay Darlin’. Fuck now y'gotta stop. Shit I’ve waited too long for this to end now."

You remove his wet cock from your grip, raising back onto your knees with a wobble as Joel discards his jeans into a pile in the hallway.

“Y’gonna fuck me now Joel? Gonna fuck me hard?”You beckon him to follow you up the stairs, your hand interlocked with his.

Joel’s minds in a twisted state. What the fuck is he going to do? You almost pulled an orgasm out of him just moments prior and now you expect him to fuck you?

And fuck you hard?

Yep, Joel’s screwed.

⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰

Joel treads behind you and once your feet make there way into your shared bedroom, you both take it in turns to remove each others clothing, well what's left of Joel's until finally you’re both naked and bare, pushing Joel onto the cushioned mattress by his chest.

Your take a seat on top of him, your pussy resting on his lower belly as your mouth collides with his again. It quickly becomes sloppy and rushed, tongues dancing with one another, whimpering desperately into each other’s mouths.

Joel flips you so you’re resting on your back, his lips following down your naked body as he nibbles and licks at your breast, flicking your taut nipple with his tongue and sucking it into his mouth while his one hand plays with the other.

Joel spreads your legs apart and nestles his body above you, his fingers roaming lower and lower so they glide in between your already soaked folds.

Maybe if he can make you come first, he won’t feel as bad.

“Please. Joel,” you beg, pulling him back up by his shoulders and kissing his lips.

“Sweetheart, let me—,”

“I thought you needed to be inside me”, you murmur, pulling your body up and around as you rests on all fours, arms bent and back arched, your wet pussy now on full display.

“Wanna feel y’deep Joel. Want you to fuck me like this.”

Well shit.

Joel settles himself behind you, perching his cock at your opening and that minor touch already feels too good, he just fucking prays he can last long enough to feel you come around him first.

“You ready aren’t you darlin’. Y’sure you’re ready for me?” He knows he’s overthinking, but he has to make sure that you enjoy this as much as he’s going to.

“Yes Joel I’m ready,” you promise. “Just please fuck me already.”

Joel takes a deep breath in before pushing his hips forward, his cock sliding into your velvety walls with so much ease, every inch of his girth becoming engulfed and squeezed as he glides more of himself into you.

You felt tighter than usual, and Joel knew it was because he hadn’t used his fingers to assist with the stretch he knew his cock would give you. Your pussy chokes him and he’s surprised he didn’t come right there and then.

Once the hairs above his cock meet your ass cheeks, you instantaneously circle your hips, and Joel's hands are quick to grasp onto the plushness of your waist, abruptly stopping your rhythm.

Fuck don’t come. Don’t come. Don’t come.

Joel hisses through his teeth, "f-fuck darlin' jus’. Shit…jus’—give me a minute."

You whine in protest and the sound makes Joel’s whole body shudder.

If only you could see him right now. If only you could see how he’s already out of breath, how he's looking everywhere apart from you, because he knows if he peers down and sees how well his cock is stuffed inside you, that'll be it.

And it’s the fact that Joel can hardly put in the work. Hands resting on the curve of your waist as his hips directly quaver behind you, he’s barely moving and that compressed knot in his stomach and the feeling of your wall's convulsing around him immediately becomes too much.

He knows your oblivious to how actually close he is, eyes falling shut, back curved and mouth hung open.

"Fuck Joel…," you moan, "mmm y'feel s'good."

Joel can feel it; his balls begin to tighten, his cocks way too sensitive, that heat boiling in his body, his orgasm rising up with each slick glide of your cunt on his length, the pulsing of your walls being too much for him to hold onto.

You're so incased on the pleasure of Joel's cock stretching your cunt open you that you don't realise when his hips suddenly stop behind you, his back arching forward, his head falling into the bend of your spine.

He clenches his eyes firmly shut, "okay m’gonna come”, he warns, blurting out the confession in rambles in an attempt to apprise you and give you a heads up before he boils over. "Fuck baby l can't—" his voice is cut off before pulling your hips back in one deep thrust.

"Holy shit, I'm-" his tone ceased by the long and drooled out moan withdrawing deep within his chest. His cock spurting his hot seed inside your warm walls.

It completely knocks him out, and fuck he’s never had an orgasm this intense before, and the relief it gives him floods all over; his body shakes as his nails dig deep into the flesh of your hips, prolonged and ragged moans floating through the thick air as his teeth bite into your shoulder blade in attempt to keep him quiet.

He repeats your name over and over and over. Like it’s the only word in his vocabulary, like his minds blank and all that hides behind it is you.

You gasp at the mixture of lust filled sensations; the way Joel’s wet skin is glued to your back, his drenched curls scattered across your skin, his cock throbbing and hot as his come paints your insides, his hold indefinitely leaving marks on you, traces of his pained and awaited pleasure.

When Joel’s high subsides and his eyes aren’t clouded with white specks, he lifts his head where it had settled on your back and kisses your shoulder, wrapping both arms under your body, hugging you in a warm embrace.

"Christ sweetheart..." his breaths out, his voice quivering and low, "I couldn't hold it. Shit I've been so fucking hard since you left this morning and I—,”

“Joel, honey…” you turn your head towards him, giving his cheek covered in sweat a soft peck.

"—N’you felt so good and tight I just couldn't help myself—”

"Hey,” you gently say. “It's okay Joel.”

Your chest fills with pride with how effortlessly it had taken Joel to fall apart above you. How with only a few minor thrust of his hips had thrown him straight over that edge.

He’s keeps himself nestled inside you, his hand cupping your jaw as he kisses your lips.

“Wanted you to come,” he sighs. “Fuck I should’ve— you always come first.”

Joel’s never been a man to reach his own limit before he’s made you feel good. Wether it be with his mouth, his fingers or his cock, he always has your pleasure in mind before anything else.

“It’s not over yet Joel. You can still make me come.”

And he’s gonna. He eyes holding that determination as the two of you easily sink into that well known pattern, Joel’s tongue exploring the inside of your mouth and swirling your hips around with his strong grip, pulling your ass back onto his still hard cock.

A precious moan leaves your lips when Joel's hand hooks down and under your body, his middle finger circling your clit, causing your pussy to squeeze his cock again.

“Fuck baby,” he murmurs, “this pussy feels so fucking good wrapped around me.”

You need him to move. “Joel. Please,” you plead.

You start moving your hips on your own this time, orbiting them in small and impatient circles, and Joel simply let’s you, straightening his back and watching how your body moves on his own accord.

Joels voice comes out more confident, more focused. “Been so mean haven’t I baby. Putting myself first. Not making my girl come like the good she is.”

Joel finally looks down at where you’re both connected, and the sight is filthy. He stares at how easy his cock fills your pussy, your own arousal and his thick, white come covering all of his length and leaking out of your hole and down on the bed cover below.

“Made such a mess baby,” Joel says, his free hand giving you ass a harsh slap, the plushness jiggling from the hit. “Pretty pussy’s already being filled and she still wants more.”

“Oh my—yes Joel,” you sob, “please.”

Joel grabs your hair into a makeshift ponytail, pulling your head back as you spine arches into shape.

“Go one baby. Gonna watch you come while you fuck yourself on my cock.”

You use all of your energy to drag yourself backwards onto Joel, using all the weight in your arms to help push you back and forth, his cock hitting that soft and spongy spot inside making you moan and whimper his name over and over.

Joel. Joel. Joel. Joel.

“Yeah? That’s it’s baby. Tell me who’s making you feel this good.”

“Yes Joel, f-fuck it’s you—,” you cry, the pleasure overcoming your words.

“That’s fucking right. Keep going baby, keep fucking yourself. Y’doing so well.”

You pull your lip in, your teeth biting down on the flesh before you muster up a yes. Yes thank you Joel. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

This might be too much for Joel. He’s never endured or persisted on fucking you once he’d already finished, and it makes his body feels like it’s on fire. His skin scorching hot as your ass cheeks slap repeatedly against his groin, his eyebrows furrowing as his cock becomes sensitive to your pussy.

His finger continues to strum over your bundle of nerves, beckoning you further into your own orgasm.

“Joel—please. I’m gonna come,” you confess, moving your hips backwards and forwards at a now much faster pace.

“Go on darlin’,” Joel grunts, “make yourself come, lemme feel it.”

His words of encouragement are the last push you need, and your high washes and crashes over you in vigorous waves, arms shaking as your top half falls onto the mattress below, your moans being muffled by your pillow.

He thrust his own hips in and out of you, “mmm now that’s a good girl. Fuckin’ hell your pussy’s soaking me baby.”

Your fingers grip hard onto the quilt below, with every curse and whimper spilling so willingly from your mouth, and Joel’s continuous praises assisting you through it.

Joel eyes can’t move away from the scene unraveling in front of him. His cock starts to feel tight and responsive again, fuck could he come again? Shit he think he could.

Joel can see that you’re body’s no longer shaking, he watches how your face lifts out of your pillow, how your eyes only just open a smidge, with a look of satisfaction displayed across your features.

But his hips begin to move again, increasing their pace and they get rougher, holding your back down with his palm but keeping your ass in the air, fucking his cock hard I nside you, his stomach pulling tight and his jaw locking shut.

“Holy fuck,” Joel howls, hips slamming into yours, “yes fuck, m’gonna come again.”

You gaze up at him and your walls pulsate, “please, Joel. Yes—please come inside me again.”

Joel’s orgasm rushes through him for the second time tonight. Something he never fucking expected. And he’s surprised when he feels his cock shoot more of his come inside you, your cunt milking him dry and shaking his head in shock at his own ability.

Joel’s hips eventually come to a stop, his body no longer trembling. He lifts you up so your’e sat on his thighs, chest rising as he attempt to recatch his breath.

“Jesus. Fuckin’. Christ.” Joel breaths. “Shit that…that felt fucking incredible.”

Your arm moves above and you wrap your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck, holding and keeping his body up close.

You hum into his neck, “wasn’t too much for you, was it Joel?” You question, looking all over his features as he gives you a consoling smile.

“No sweetheart, it wasn’t.”

And you smile back at that, bringing his lips down just so they’re ever so slightly touching yours.

“I might have to leave you with a boner more often if that’s the result of it. What d’you think?”

He raises his eyebrows at you, shaking his head in immediate disagreement.

“Absolutely not. Fuck darlin’ I don’t think I can go that long again. You can be late for work next time.”

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Thank you so much for reading! If you liked please show a girl some love and tell me what you thought!🫶🏼🩵

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freneziwlp · 6 months

Text

ain't no rest for the wicked — chapter one

ain't no rest for the wicked series

one: ain't no rest for the wicked

series masterlist | next chapter (coming Jan. 2, 2024)

Tess Servopoulos x f!reader x Joel Miller

words: 6.2k

summary: after an unfortunate encounter, you catch the interest of two very dangerous, very beautiful strangers.

warnings: dark-ish Joel and Tess, smuggler!Joel, smuggler!Tess, boston QZ, QZ life, poorly negotiated d/s dynamics, poor communication, enthusiastic consent, oral sex (m & f receiving), stalking, canon-typical violence, ik i usually use game joel but anna torv has me in a chokehold sry

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

You’re eager. Joel doesn’t need to push your face into Tess’s cunt; you’re already diving in when he does.

But he knows Tess likes it like that. He likes it like that. He thinks you like it, too, from the way you’re moaning while he smothers you in her wet folds.

He lets you struggle for air for a moment before yanking you up by the hair and licking the taste of her from your mouth. He lets you go after, lets you properly worship her.

Thing is, you’re not really sure how or why this is happening. Well, you know how you got here, factually. It just doesn’t make any sense.

You had been cornered in a dead-end alley by two thugs. They had knives and no ration cards and were looking to make a trade of sorts. You were trying to argue that maybe they could keep their knives; no, really, you weren’t in the market, but you’d gift them the cards.

They seemed concerned you’d go to FEDRA since they hadn’t bothered to cover their faces. You were wearing them down a little, trying to negotiate, when one of them hit the ground and was dragged into the darkness. There was nothing to obscure the cries and wet sounds of knuckles meeting soft flesh.

“I thought I told you to stay out of this part of town,” a woman said from behind them. It was like a scene from one of your noir detective novels with the cracked spines and crinkled pages—a shadowy alley with one flickering light, a mysterious savior from the darkness. The other would-be robber turned on his heel to face the voice.

“We-we didn’t realize this was part of yours,” he said. “It’s basically Robert’s.”

“But it ain’t,” she said. “And you fuckin’ know better.”

If the apocalypse had angels, they’d look like her. Tall, commanding, and piss-your-pants terrifying. Her mousy brown hair was as lackluster and dirty as everyone else, but you wanted to run your fingers through it. Wanted to tangle your hand in it, searching out her dusty rose lips.

Reality returned in the form of a hulking man tossing the beaten crook onto the ground by his partner, who stopped mid-plea with the woman to check on them.

You tore your eyes away from her to look at the battered but still-breathing man and followed the line of his attacker’s jeans to look at the monster who had emerged from the shadows. You were startled to find him looking back at you, eyes dark and intense. He was broad and rugged, with blood smeared on his cheek and fists.

Your eyes darted between him and the woman.

She was speaking to the last man standing again. “You need Joel to show you out?” She jerked her head at tall, dark, and haunted.

You locked eyes with Apparently Joel again before he looked at the simpering man and sneered. He didn’t even have to say anything. The thug was pulling his partner to his feet and trying to flee without looking like they were fleeing.

“They hurt you?” Joel said. When you didn’t respond, not really realizing he was addressing you, he rolled his eyes. “You, girl. Did they hurt you?”

“Oh, um, no. They just took my cards, but I’m okay.” Your tongue stumbled under their scrutiny. They were maybe two of the prettiest people you’d ever seen since the world ended, and you could feel your face heating up. “But, um, thank you.”

You wavered in place, wanting to get the hell out of there. They weren’t quite blocking your path, but the space they took up meant you’d have to get close to one or both of them to leave.

“Y’mean these?” Joel drawled, holding up your small stack of cards.

“Yeah,” you said. You bit the inside of your lip. He wasn’t holding them out for you to take, and you weren’t naive enough to think they’d just give them back. Their motive had definitely not been to save you; it was just a fortunate side effect.

Joel exchanged a look with the woman, thumbing through what was your only guarantee of food for the next couple of days.

“Not much here,” he told her.

She looked you over, which only made your heart beat faster, shifting your weight from one foot to another. “That all you got?”

You nodded.

“How bad do you want them back? I heard what you were offerin’ up earlier.” She smirked.

You really did not think you could get more mortified. “I-I—”

She strolled closer to you. “Y-you what?” she mimicked. “Pretty thing like you should be more careful out here. What’s your name, sweetheart?”

You don’t know why you told her. Okay, fine, it was because she was so close and she smelled so good, and her eyes—well, you’d probably have told her anything right then.

“I’m Tess, that’s Joel,” she said and jerked her head back to where Joel leaned against the brick of a towering complex. He jerked his head in acknowledgment, jaw twitching.

“You got anyone out here looking after you?” she asked.

You opened your mouth, but seeing Joel flipping absentmindedly through the stack formerly known as your meal tickets shook you out of your stupor. Fuck, you were too fucking bi for this. And also, you hadn’t gotten laid in like. God, had it really been three years?

Anyway, your brain kicked back into gear. “Y-yeah, I’m supposed to be getting home to my family. They’re probably getting worried.”

She smirked, and you knew you were cellophane. “Alright, get goin’ then.” She looked over her shoulder at Joel. “Give her the cards, Tex.”

She didn’t move to let you by, so you sidestepped and tried not to walk too fast, even though you knew they could probably smell your fear like the predators they clearly were.

Joel didn’t hand you the cards right away, but he grabbed your arm when you were close. “You see those guys again, you tell ‘em we’ll be watchin’.”

You looked at him with what you meant to be a questioning expression, but it felt like you probably just looked dumb. He put the stack of cards into your coat pocket and let go of your bicep.

“See you around,” Tess called as you made your escape.

See you around? See you around?? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

When you get back to your apartment, you lock the door and slide to the ground, trembling as the adrenaline lets you realize just how fucking close you came to getting gutted.

And now there’s them.

“We’ll be watching,” Joel had said. Watching who? The leaden ball that used to be your stomach knows he meant you. They’ll be watching you. But fucking why?

Nobody’s home. Of course nobody’s home. You’re the sole resident of your tiny studio cube, save for the mice that you can’t keep out in the chillier seasons.

You probably could. But you don’t have the heart. They only come in the bathroom through the shitty insulation for the defunct vent. You keep the door shut with a towel jammed under it, and you leave crumbs on the peeling linoleum before bed.

It’s not something you’d ever have done before. But you know what it’s like now, to be cold and hungry in a world full of monsters.

Your brother used to say you were too soft for the world, and that was before the world went to shit. In fairness, you were a lot tougher now, for the most part.

Had to be, after you shot him in the head three weeks into the outbreak.

You jam your fists into your eyes and rub, clearing away the image with the ache.

Fuck, you almost died today. They had gotten the jump on you after you stopped to tie your sneaker. When you stood up, you weren’t alone anymore.

You’re upset about it for a few days, hustling through the crowds with your head on a swivel. After that, it joins the rest of your fears as an apparition, haunting your apartment’s groaning pipes and creaking floors.

All you can do is tell yourself the same lie of a mantra you do every night—I’m safe here.

As if such a thing were even possible.

The pendulum of your daily routine keeps on swinging. You keep your head down at work, quick with “yes, ma’am” and “no, sir,” quick on your feet when asked to hop to, and quick in hurrying home as soon as your shift ends.

Which is why you’re dismayed when you come in one morning to find out your direct supervisor was killed. Nobody cares why or how, just that there’s a spot to fill. They stuff you in it.

You deliberately did not overperform to avoid this, but if you refused, you’d be out of a work placement. The only thing keeping you from screaming was that the position got you a bump in ration class.

It’s barely a supervisory position, but each new responsibility is a sandbag tied to your ankles—you’re supposed to be on the same schedule, but inevitably, you’re there later and later each week.

So you become one of the apparitions in your apartment, half awake, floating through the motions while everything slips through your grasp.

Despite the better payout, you often don’t make it to a distribution stand before curfew. You can’t risk walking home with several days of class Bs, or you’d be dead in the gutter long before you made it back. So you take your one day’s worth and accumulate a little stack of cards under a loose floorboard.

You’re in the back of the line one evening, hoping you’ll make it to the front before they shut down. It’s raining in that way where the sun is out, though low on the horizon, the city trapped between two forces of nature.

The universe has a fucked up sense of humor because suddenly, so are you.

“Hey, sunflower,” croons a voice like honeycomb, quiet and close on your left.

You twitch forward, nearly jostling the woman in front of you, head whipping around.

“Eyes forward. Just listen,” rumbles a much deeper voice from the right.

You knew people had gotten in line behind you. You hadn’t known you’d been cornered.

“Thought you’d be eating better by now,” Tess says. “Guess you’ll have to come by for dinner. Tomorrow, right after work.”

Joel grunts in agreement. “Don’t let ‘em keep you late again.”

Then there’s silence. You wait a minute and then peek over your shoulder, but they’re gone.

What the actual fuck.

By the time you reach the front, you’ve decided it was a hallucination caused by whatever is splitting the atmosphere into two conflicting weather conditions.

But when you reach into your jacket pocket and pull out your cards, there’s a single class A ticket atop your stack. When you lift it to look closer, a scrap of paper almost falls into a puddle. You snatch it and take in the small letters, all caps in smudged black ink.

It’s an address.

It’s not until you get home that you replay the “conversation.” What had Tess meant by “thought you’d be eating better by now?”

It made sense, if they were watching you, that they’d know you’d been staying late. But what made them think you were getting better rations? Were they watching you so closely that they’d seen your tickets?

There’s a warning sounding in the back of your head, about as subtle as a tornado siren. You chuckle nervously to yourself as you stand in the middle of the kitchen-living-bed-room. It was an absurd thought. There’s no way they knew you got a promotion. And there’s definitely no way they… made it happen.

Denial brings your racing heart to a slow as you plug your ears to the danger. After all, you were a midwestern girl. You didn’t cower in the basement every time the siren went off, or you’d live life underground. So unless the sky swirled sickly green, or, say, they told you they killed your boss, you wouldn’t worry.

Nothing to it, really.

You were no one, after all. No one, who was being invited—as if you had a choice—to dinner with two violent strangers.

If only it didn’t make your panties damp, maybe you’d have the sense to skip out. You could politely excuse yourself the next time they popped up over your shoulder like a fucking slasher movie.

You can’t focus all day at work. You sit at your desk, trying to fill out the inventory sheets, foot tapping, leg bouncing. Your dad always used to tease you, “you gearin’ up to take off?” when you got nervous. It was a bit like the cordyceps. The more anxious you got, the less control you had of your body, the energy spreading and blooming and fuzzing over your brain.

By the end of the day, you’re tapping fingers, twisting your seat side to side. When your boss comes over at two minutes before you’re set to leave, you know he’s about to ask you to stay for “just a bit.” But you’ve already got your jacket and backpack on, you’re sitting on the edge of the stupid squeaky rolly chair, and when he opens his mouth, you beat him to it with a laugh that’s not not hysterical.

“Have a great day!” you blurt, and you’re up and gone before he can respond.

Once outside, though, you hesitate. You’re bouncing on the balls of your feet, hands shoved in your pockets. It’s not raining today, but it’s overcast in the foretelling of the encroaching winter. The scrap of paper crinkles in your fist, dampening a little as your palm becomes slick with nerves.

“You comin’ or what?” Joel says from where he’s leaning against your office building, just to the left of the exit.

“Fuck!” It comes out in a truly embarrassing squeak.

He raises an eyebrow.

“What was the point of the little magic trick,” you waggle your fingers at him, “with the address if you were going to pick me up anyway?”

He pushes off the wall with his shoulder and starts walking, leaving you to jog after him. “Tess thought you seemed a bit squirrely.”

“If I didn’t want to get hit by a car, I’d get out of the fuckin’ road,” you say, a triggered muscle memory morphing another one of your father’s favorite phrases. Though, it was usually after he plowed over a fuzzy little guy, and you cried about it.

Joel shoots a glance at you over his shoulder. “Who’s the car?”

Your face heats. “What?”

He shakes his head but lets you off the hook. There’s something dangerous about the quirk of his lips, though.

You follow him as he weaves through the streets and crowds. People move out of his way, a few even scrambling off in another direction. He doesn’t miss them, eyeing and seeming to make a mental note each time.

You do not want to know why they were running.

His little jumpscare and the ensuing amount of focus it took not to get lost in the throng of others helped tone down your anxiety. Instead, you become very distracted by the way his denim button-down, stretched across his shoulder blades like it was clinging on out of the same fear of Joel as those runners.

God, he’s broad. Your mouth waters a little, thinking about running your hands across the breadth of his shoulders. Maybe digging your fingernails in a little.

He checks again to make sure you are still behind him and catches you moistening your lips with the tip of your tongue; the hungry look in your eyes matched by the way you were clenching the straps of your backpack with strained knuckles.

Luckily, he misreads it. He shakes his head again. “Calm down, we ain’t gonna hurt you.” But it’s invalidated a little when he turns back forward and shrugs a little to himself, head jerking to the side as if to say, “Well, probably not.”

You weren’t scared, but you are now.

He doesn’t wait for you as he climbs the stairs of the apartment building, but he leaves the door ajar for you to follow through a minute later.

“She try to chicken out?” Tess asked Joel with a shit-eating grin.

“No!” you protest. “I was comin’.”

“Were you?” Tess steps into your space, leaning forward. “Good girl,” she murmurs and reaches over your shoulder to shove the door shut. You stumble back a little, colliding with the reminder that your escape route is gone.

Worse yet, you have to witness them share a look when her words send a shudder through you.

She laughs, a soft huff of amusement on an exhale, and turns and walks away.

You stay glued to the ground in front of the door.

Joel’s still standing in the living room, arms folded. “Get goin’,” he says when you don’t move.

You shuffle under the arch where Tess disappeared into a small dine-in kitchen, with Joel suddenly close enough behind you that you could feel the heat radiating from him. He reaches past you and pulls out a chair at the table.

You try to scoot out of his way so he can sit, and he sighs, shaking his head, and guides you into the seat by the shoulder. His palm covers the whole joint, splayed across with his fingers brushing your collarbone.

A shocked “um” slips past your lips as you sit.

“Um?” he says, eyebrow quirked.

You’re burning. You’re on the edge of a fucking volcano, apparently, with the way you’re boiling under your jacket. You shuck it off, shaking your head. “Um, nothing.”

Tess sits across from you, elbows on the table and hands folded. You squirm under her steady focus, only to startle again when Joel sets a plate in front of each of you.

“You always so jumpy, sunflower?” she asks, taking a glass of water from Joel when he comes back over. He sets another next to you.

“No,” you say weakly.

Joel sits down between you with his own plate and glass, and your head snaps to look at him. He raises an eyebrow again. “You sure about that, sunflower?”

“Um, no,” you say. And then, stupidly, you tell them your name again, because it seems like maybe they forgot.

“I know,” is all Tess says.

Joel snorts.

“Be nice,” Tess says, still not taking her eyes off you.

Vaguely, you know she’s doing it on purpose. They both are. They want you off-guard and on-edge.

“Eat,” she tells you, finally breaking away to dig into her plate. Joel’s already halfway through his, not bothering to wait.

You look down, blinking at the sight before you. There’s mashed potatoes with gravy. There’s corn. There’s mystery meat, but it looks like some kind of roast, and most shocking of all, there are spices.

It’s definitely all still canned rations, but they’ve taken the effort to do something with them. The meat’s been broiled, and the juices saved for the gravy. The corn is roasted. And the fucking spices.

You eat a lot faster than you mean to, eyes wide. You usually eat your rations cold out of the can before passing out for bed. This is… this is incredible.

“Slow down,” Joel says. “You’re gonna make yourself sick.”

“Where’d you get herbs?” you blurt.

It’s Tess’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “You sure you want to know?”

“Oh. No, thank you.” Definitely not. You definitely do not want to know anything even potentially incriminating. You’re starting to feel like just being here is enough to get you in trouble.

The table falls into a stilted silence, and you have a bizarre thought. A memory, useless information from the before dug up by the wet blob of anxiety you try to pass off as a brain.

They’re beautiful and terrifying. They don’t seem the type to do something without getting something out of it. They brought you into their lair, and you ate from their table.

Your grandmama’s tales don’t seem very far-fetched right now. What was it she always told you to do? Hang a horseshoe over your door?

Where the fuck were you going to get a horseshoe in post-apocalyptic Boston?

The thought is so absurd that you laugh out loud, drawing both sets of eyes to you at once.

“Sorry, sorry, I just—remembered something, it’s not—it’s nothing.” You bury your face in your hands.

“Stop glowering; you’re going to give her a nervous breakdown,” Tess says to Joel.

“She’s scared of you, too,” he says simply, sipping from his water.

“Is that true, pretty girl? Are you afraid of us?”

You lift your head up, and though your instincts to run like hell are flaring up, you figure there’s no point in lying. “Well, yeah.”

“We’re not going to hurt you,” Tess says, and then, in a horrible moment of deja vu, she seems to rethink that and shrug with one shoulder and a tilt of her head.

You look between them. “That’s not comforting.”

“I mean, we won’t hurt you unless you want us to,” she says. Her smile reminds you of a fox.

“Why would I—oh.” You purse your lips and feel like you’re shrinking.

Joel gets up and clears the dishes but doesn’t retake his seat. Instead, he looms behind you, both broad hands on the back of your chair. “We’re not gonna make you do anything you don’t want to,” he rumbles close to your ear. “But we think you might want to.”

“What do you say, sunflower?”

It slips out. You don’t mean to say it; it’s just a habit deeply engrained from work. But when your mouth opens to ask what exactly they mean, you say “yes, ma’am” instead.

Joel chuckles, a dark and dangerous thing that blows his hot breath over the exposed side of your neck. You shudder but don’t dare look away from Tess, whose grin has turned into smug pleasure.

“Told ya,” she says to Joel, standing and coming around the side of the table to where you are and taking your chin in one hand. She presses a chaste kiss to your lips. “I know a good girl when I see one.”

She tilts your head up so you watch. “And a good boy,” she says before kissing Joel.

He melts into it, and you moan. Like for real life, out loud, watching them kiss. She pulls away from him when she can’t hold back her smirk.

His eyes are soft when he watches her step back. She tightens her grip on your face.

“All yours, baby,” she says to him.

The softness is gone when he looks at you. His eyes are dark and hungry, and he takes your face in his own hands before kissing you. Unlike the sweet exchange with Tess, this kiss is bruising, and he licks into you without hesitation. One of his hands tangles in your hair and pulls your head to the side so he can bite his way down your neck.

You’ve got whiplash, and he grins when he lets you go and takes in your glazed eyes and swollen lips.

“C’mon,” Tess says, turning to go back to the living room. Joel tugs you up and pushes you in front of him to follow Tess. You yelp when he pinches your ass, though you probably should have expected it.

Tess sits on the couch, and your mouth goes dry as Joel kneels at her feet. You drop to yours, and Tess quirks an eyebrow at Joel.

“That how you want her?”

He shakes his head and pushes you down so you’re bent over in supplication below him.

“Don’t move unless I tell ya,” Joel says. “You need or want to stop for any reason, just say so. Got it?”

You moan at his words, no longer having the wherewithal for embarrassment. You’re starting to become very aware of your place in this. And it’s fucking thrilling.

He lifts your head by a handful of hair. “I asked you a question.”

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s a good girl,” he murmurs, letting your head back down and running his hand over your cheek.

“You like havin’ a little toy for yourself, baby?” Tess asks him, running her fingers through his hair and tugging a little.

He moans. “Yes, ma’am, thank you.”

“See, sunflower, Joel here’s been a real good boy, but sometimes he needs to play a little rough. Ain’t that right?” She nods his head with her grip on his hair.

“Please,” he whimpers.

You’re soaked. You’re fucking soaked, and all they’ve really done is talk.

“You wanna be a good girl for us?” Tess asks.

It’s your turn to whimper. “Yes, ma’am. Uh. And sir.”

“We’ll go easy on you today,” she muses. “What do you need from her, baby?”

Joel doesn’t need to think it over. “Need to fuck that pretty little mouth,” he says.

It’s so crass that you flush, wet gathering rapidly between your thighs. You squirm a little.

“Ok,” Tess agrees. “You can have my sloppy seconds.”

And then she’s tugging her pants down, letting Joel lean forward to grab them as she lifts her hips. He yanks them off and folds them, setting them to the side.

You keep your cheek pressed to the carpet where he put you, watching the motions with rapt awe. You’re betrayed, however, by your wriggling feet.

“S’matter?” Joel says.

“What? Um. Nothing.”

He raises an eyebrow, but it doesn’t spark anything. Your eyes dart back and forth between them.

“I’m gonna let that slide, since you’re getting used to it. But if you address me, you better do it proper.”

“Oh.” The realization leaves you on an exhale. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Atta girl,” he says with a little pinch to your chin.

Tess nudges him with her foot and shoots a laden look at where you’ve fallen very still, and the taut line of your spine has softened a little.

She smirks.

It doesn’t last, though. You’re biting your lip and looking at him while your right foot taps against the floor.

He turns back to Tess, rolling her panties down until he can tug them off her feet and tuck them neatly into the fold of her pants.

He reaches over and presses his thumb to your bottom lip until it pops free from your teeth. Your mouth falls open in its wake.

“Up,” he says.

You push up onto your knees and watch as he leans forward to press a soft kiss to her cunt. He nuzzles in a little, nose nudging her clit as he tastes.

She lets him for a few seconds before tugging him back by the hair. “Don’t be selfish.”

He looks at you and jerks his head.

You shuffle forward, and he puts both hands on your shoulders to shove you between her thighs, arranging you so he can kneel, chest flush to your back.

You shiver.

“Ever eaten pussy?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you say, a little breathless, while he leans around, boxing you in with his arms while he spreads her lips. You take in the way she glistens, and your mouth waters. “It’s been a while, though.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he murmurs, deep and close to your ear. “S’like riding a bike.” He strokes a finger over her clit, and her cunt clenches around nothing.

“I don’t know how to ride a bike,” you say, and wonder why.

Joel, to his credit, just shakes his head and ignores you.

“She likes a little figure eight here,” he says, head still bowed conspiratorially as if she couldn’t hear every word. “And if you switch between fast n’ gentle here,” he presses his finger to the first knuckle inside her.

He pulls it out and pinches her labia between his index finger and thumb. “Suck here, and bite soft.”

It’s like they’ve dragged you in from a blizzard. Everything is so hot; your pulse throbs in your fingers, and you’re sweating as if bundled in front of a hearth.

“Please?” You whisper. You’re not sure who you’re asking.

Tess laughs, a soft and pleased thing you haven’t heard yet. You want more.

And that’s how you ended up here, somehow still fully clothed, swirling your tongue against her clit.

Joel pushes your shoulders down so you’re bent over at a sharper angle. He solves the clothes problem by tugging your jeans and underwear down to your knees.

“Go on,” Tess tells him around a soft moan.

You’ve worked your tongue gently inside before diving in for more, lapping at her like they hadn’t just fed you the best meal you’ve had in years.

Your efforts stutter when Joel’s hot mouth latches on to your cunt. You cry out but get your act together quickly, nuzzling in like he had done earlier.

Her fingers grasp at your head, grinding your face down where she needs. At the same time, Joel has his hands around your thighs, fingers pressing tight enough to leave a mark while he feasts.

You can’t tell, as focused as you are on your own task, but he’s studying the way you twitch and gush with each motion. He’s a quick learner and soon has you struggling to keep up.

When you press two fingers into her cunt, Tess rewards you with her orgasm as you suck and lick her clit. You take everything she has to offer, which is when Joel yanks you away from her to share in the indulgence. He works a second orgasm from her very quickly. When he’s done, he pushes you to the ground and returns to work at you.

“Gonna cum for me, sweetheart?” he growls. “Come on, give it to me.”

And you do. He’s relentless, and your body responds to each touch from his broad fingers and broader tongue. You’re vaguely aware of the scrape of his teeth on your clit, the ferocious way he slams his fingers into your aching core as you shake apart around him.

He’s hesitant to pull away when you come down from it, but you’re squirming a little from the intensity, and he’s got a dark look in his eyes anyway. “My turn?” he says.

“Go ahead, baby,” Tess says. She’s sprawled languidly on the couch, one hand between her legs, gently rubbing at her clit while she enjoys the show.

Joel pulls his cock out, and even though you’re exhausted to the point where you can’t hear your thoughts over the pounding of your heart, you lurch forward immediately.

It’s gorgeous and engorged, impatient after waiting so long. You reach for it first, one hand cupping his heavy balls and the other sliding down the velvety length of him. Your mouth follows close behind, licking at the slit.

“Think you can take it all?” he says. “You ever deepthroated someone my size?”

“No,” you admit, “but I’m a quick learner.”

His responding grin is wicked. “Good. I got a lot to teach ya.” And without further acclimation or dramatics, he grabs the back of your head and pulls until his cock hits the back of your throat.

You gag, of course, coughing and sputtering. He eases up to let you back, but you don’t pull all the way off. You take a minute to breathe around him and swallow him back down.

He lets you set the pace for a minute, groaning as you bob up and down, swirling your tongue around and moaning at the way his salty musk mixes with the sweet tang of Tess.

He lets you pull off, even, watching to see what you do when left to your own devices. You stroke his cock in one hand and cradle his balls in the other, nuzzling and licking them before taking them in your mouth one by one to roll on your tongue.

He moans but tugs you away after you properly worship both.

“Y’got a sweet little mouth, sunflower. But I need ya chokin’ on it now. Just stay nice and open for me.”

With no further preamble, he holds your head with both hands and fucks into your mouth.

You’re not too surprised to find yourself on the edge of an orgasm. Back in the day, when you were still trying to pretend normal life was possible and playing at being a girlfriend, sucking cock had been a favorite pastime.

Granted, Joel’s cock was another beast entirely. Maybe literally. Your brain pulls itself together long enough to reconsider the fae theory before he fucks the thought out.

It’s a fucking mess. You can barely close your lips around him, drool slick on your chin. The only mercy he grants is when a particularly rough thrust has you tapping his leg, afraid you might puke.

He pulls back, hand tipping your chin up to check you over, but you’ve recovered already and strain to get your mouth back around him.

He relinquishes, letting you slide him down as far as you can.

He chuckles. “Looks like we got a real cockslut here,” he says to Tess.

She grins. “I dunno; I think she might just be a slut in general. Pretty needy for my cunt, too.”

His hand strokes your cheek as he picks the pace back up. “That’s a good girl. Fuckin’ take it. Shit,” he groans as he works deeper yet.

“Ah, fuck,” he gasps, tearing his eyes from you to seek out Tess. “Please?”

“Please, what, baby?”

“Please, can I cum down her throat?”

“Not yet,” she says.

He whimpers but doesn’t dare disobey. His thrusts are frantic and harsh as he fights the urge.

“Sunflower, d’you think you can cum when he does?”

Your eyes roll back in your head. “Mhmmm,” you moan around him.

“Alright, baby. Give it to her.”

And fuck, does he ever. He buries himself deep, and for a moment, you think you’re not actually going to be able to handle it. But the feeling of him twitching and the sound of his pleasure are enough to push you over the edge, overriding your gag reflex.

“Oh fuck,” he repeats. “Oh shit. That’s it. Fucking take it all.”

When he pulls his softening cock from you, you sway forward a little. He catches you with hands on your shoulders before sitting on the ground in front of the couch and pulling you roughly into his lap. From the couch above, Tess reaches to run her hands through his hair before rubbing a hand on your shoulder.

You wrap a hand around hers, hoping she won’t pull away. She doesn’t, instead tucking a thumb over your hand to hold you there. Your head tilts back against Joel’s shoulder as her other hand cups the back of his neck.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head and then leans his back to rest against her hand.

The sun has tucked down behind the rise of the city, and the post-orgasmic reality is settling on your shoulders. As much as they had made a place for you for that blissful fragment of time, you’re suddenly hyperaware of your intrusion.

“Where’s, um. Where’s your bathroom?” You ask.

Tess directs you, and you pry yourself from their warmth and tug your jeans back up. You wipe away the evidence of your adventure and stick your face under the cold faucet to clear the lingering haze from your brain.

They’re still sitting when you come back out. Joel’s on the floor with his knees bent and legs spread, leaning back to where Tess has his head in her lap. She’s running idle fingers through his hair.

You don’t want to linger and get kicked out. It’s not that you don’t know what this is; you just want it to end on your terms. When you shoulder your bag to broadcast your intentions, Joel gets to his feet.

“Let me walk ya home,” he says.

“Oh, I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

He scowls. “It’s gettin’ dark.”

You give him a wan smile and rub the back of your neck. “I’ve been walking myself home in this city for years.”

It’s not like you’re stupid enough to think they don’t know where you live. But this way, you can still pretend.

“Yeah, and look where that got you the other night,” he says.

Tess stands and stretches and nudges Joel. “Down, boy,” she teases. “Let ‘er go.”

“But really,” she says while you tug on your boots. “We thought you’d be eating better. You need another promotion?”

You look between her and Joel. “No, I do not.”

“It’s an easy enough problem to solve,” he says with a shrug.

Oh god. “No, please don’t solve anything. Let’s, uhh, let’s just never talk about this again.”

“We can just—“ she starts, but you plug your ears.

It’s too late. Joel’s smirk could silence the birds. And you know, once you’ve heard the whistle, the twister’ll be deciding your fate soon.

“Suit yourself,” Joel says.

“Okay, well, um,” you say, backing into the hall. “This has been really great and so weird, but, um, it’s almost curfew and—“

“See you later, sunflower,” Tess says as you close the door behind you. It doesn’t sound like a casual, rote farewell. It sounds like a promise.

*title from "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" by Cage the Elephant

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freneziwlp · 6 months

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My wife

Helen + sitting like she wants to attract women 🌈👀

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freneziwlp · 6 months

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secret santa

dbf!joel miller x f!reader

summary: your parents throw a christmas party every year, and this is your first time in the “adult” secret santa exchange. the last few times home, you’ve found joel, your dad’s friend, staring a bit too long, flicking away when he’s caught. for the game, of course, you get joel’s name. and you’re going to make sure it’s the best gift he’s ever received.

rating: E

wc: 5.6k

warnings: daddy kink, age gap (sorry folks but i did want to try my hand at dbf!joel lol i pictured him around 50, reader around mid-late 20s), alcohol consumption, mentions of food, distant relationship with parents, party, christmas, gift giving, secret santa game, bit of deception on reader's part just to get joel alone, lingerie, body worship, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v, restraints (using clothes/undergarments), daddy!joel, soft!dom joel, praise, a few instances of degradation, dirty talk (as always)

a/n: (images in moodboard do not convey what reader looks like, only the vibe! no descriptions of reader) my first dbf!joel…milestone moment lol <3 hope y’all enjoy my take on the dbf trope! and tysm to my babies for beta-ing @northernbluess and @kiwisbell love you both 😚

dividers by @saradika

Twenty years. This same godforsaken party has been happening every December for the last twenty years of your life, full of overserved middle aged parents, and never has it been less enjoyable than since you’ve been an “adult”. An adult still treated as a child, chastised, fawned over, always told to follow the golden rule. No, not treat others as they wish to be treated. Your family’s golden rule was speak only when spoken to.

And your father was the enforcer. Always required you home for the party, even away, out of state for college, away for the semester studying abroad halfway across the world. You were flown home and called upon to do the heavy lifting — groceries, liquor runs, cleaning the house, decorating to make it all feel magically festive.

At times, it felt like Cinderella had nothing on you. At least she had a prince.

The only time that this party has ever been remotely improved was when Joel Miller moved into the neighborhood. He’d snuck in under your radar due to the fact that it happened the few months you were living abroad, but coming back for the party and Christmas break, you were quickly introduced to him by your father. His new “best friend”. One among many. Each serving a unique purpose to get your dad ahead.

Upon meeting Joel, you were drawn to him immediately. Skeptical over the fact he found company with your dad, but much to your surprise, he was different. Maybe lonely and looking for a friend; you’d found he was living alone, his adult daughter, Sarah, in her final years at the University of Chicago — a choice that was hers but Joel admittedly feared, you learned. He only encouraged her, regardless of the fact he was anxious about losing his kiddo.

Not the same sentiments your dad had when dropping you off to school in the farthest, cheapest corner of the country you could find. He was nearly jumping up and kicking his feet together in glee to get you out of the house.

Joel, though, Joel was kind hearted and patient. He was curious and caring, asking you about school, work, your life every time he saw you over the years. Warmth radiated from him despite his more shy demeanor. Comfortable. You felt so comfortable with him.

Which is what made the smallest of lingering glances or the slightest of smiles turned smirks that much more exhilarating.

Maybe you were being naive or projecting your burning desire for him onto every interaction, but as you stitched yourself tighter into Joel’s life over the years, you haven’t been able to help but notice him checking you out at times or slipping a subtle flirty comment into conversations between the two of you. You would give it right back, and that would usually pump the breaks, bringing things back to surface level.

There was one time this past summer, after a neighborhood barbecue that your parents left early from, that you and Joel really had a moment. It was loud, music drowning out the back and forth you were having to the point where you couldn’t quite make out every word, and Joel must have felt the same because he made sure you heard his next words clearly — “Do you want to go somewhere quieter?”

Agreeing immediately, he pressed his large hand into the midpoint of your back, guiding you out of the confines of the party and to the open air of the street. He led you to his place and around back, pulling two lounge chairs next to his pool closer to each other.

That night, thanks to the alcohol buzzing in your system, you confessed more about your home life and your feelings around it. Joel was surprised, given the picture-perfect image your father paints for everyone, but he was comforting as always. Even as far as offering you his spare room if you ever needed a break.

That’s when you knew you were done for. Never in your life had you wanted to just kiss someone that badly. Let alone all of the thoughts that came along with it.

Harboring this crush for your dad’s friend, fifty plus and a father himself, you attempted to keep things growing closer when you came back. Friendly, polite, reciprocating any amount of flirty banter he threw your way. Even initiating it yourself.

You were so incredibly into Joel Miller. And returning home this time, you decided it was high time you acted on those feelings.

The noise of the bustling party dies down enough for your dad to introduce the game, as if the attendees haven’t been participating for nearly as long as you’ve been alive. But your dad loves the attention on him, cracking jokes that make you roll your eyes while everyone else gives him a laugh. Always so focused on himself. How everyone else sees him. Image obsessed enough to forget to assign anyone as a Secret Santa to his own daughter but not forgetting to give her someone to gift to.

Granted, you weren’t that upset about who you’d drawn.

Watching from afar, you see Joel survey the empty space under the tree, only the deep cherry red skirt laid out on the hardwood. Nothing for him. Everyone opens their presents, laughter and excitement bubbling across the room as the point of the game begins. Partygoers start to guess their gifters, hoping to nail down their Secret Santa in one go. Conversations are struck up as people meet their pair, ‘thank you’s exchanged along with the gifts. Joel observes from his spot with a few of your neighbors, also friends with your dad, and the sight of him shifting his weight on his feet is enough to draw up the courage to approach him.

Crossing the room, flashes of him checking you out, lingering in conversations with you about work and your new apartment in the city, seeking you out each time you visit home flood your mind, reassuring your choices the closer you get to him. The closer you get to completely jumping into the deep end, the last few steps teetering you at the edge.

Slowing to a stop next to him, a finger of yours gingerly taps his strong shoulder a few times, pulling his attention away completely. Joel turns his body to face you, away from others to solely focus on you in front of him. The subtle sign of his attraction to you has your nerves tingling, clearing your throat when he speaks up in greeting.

“Hey there, sweetheart. Y’alright?” he asks, eyebrow raised. Always so goddamn sweet.

You sigh, a tinge dramatic but attempting to sell the dismay and toying with the flute glass in your hand. “Lame surprise, but I’m your Secret Santa and I stupidly left your gift upstairs. It’s a bit obnoxious to bring down so d’you mind coming up to open it and you can grab it at the end of the night?”

Joel agrees with a jolt of nervous excitement down his spine. Shuddering out the feeling subtly, he clears his throat and nods, awaiting your lead. He thinks he catches the slightest drag of your eyes up and down his body, lingering at the expanse of his shoulders and the sliver of his chest that is exposed from the two undone buttons of his red flannel.

When no one’s paying attention, you bring Joel upstairs into your old room that you’re staying in while you’re back in town for the holidays. He stands around a bit awkwardly, sticking out like a sore thumb with his broad shoulders stretching his red flannel, thick thighs straining deliciously against the perfectly worn material of his Levi’s. Stark against the frilly softness of your room, with its bright white furnishings, and feminine touches. He’s all man. Nothing like the guys your age who think they’re like him.

Joel glances about the room before he asks, “So, what was so difficult to get under the tree, sweetheart? You didn’t have to get me anything so major.”

“I wanted to. I mean, noticed you eyeing what I got you for a while so figured the least I could do was give it to you…” Joel’s face twists up in confusion, perplexed by the riddled clue before you’re standing in front of him, reaching to the side of your plaid skirt and dragging down the zipper. Joel stutters out nonsense at your actions, lifting his hands in surrender.

“Doll, I think—you don’t—” His mumblings die in his throat when you drop the material to your ankles, revealing red satin panties. When you turn around, a bow sits at the top of your ass, tying up the material to stay on your hips while elasticated bands run along the outline of your cheeks to connect to the crotch. Very little of your bum is covered, showing off the supple flesh to Joel. He’s rendered speechless, averting his gaze after a second too long of staring, the mumblings starting up again.

“S’not a good idea, shouldn’t be up here right now…” Joel looks around, looking over his shoulder toward the door. One of your hands reaches up to gingerly cup his chin, turning his flushed face to yours again. His pupils are blown wide, eyes darkened with desire. Your own gaze flicks down between the two of you, smirking at the bulge growing at the crotch of his jeans. So desperately trying to fight against what he really wants. Even when you’re serving it up in a pretty little package.

He makes no movement toward the door, which you take as a sign of letting go of at least some of his apprehension. Fingers grip the hem of your sweater, pulling it up and over your head, discarding it on your carpet along with your skirt.

Matching red satin material, the bra you’re wearing has a similar structure to your panties. Held up with straps and the usual clasps at the back, the front is a large gift bow, pulled tight when you tied it earlier this evening to push up the flesh of your breasts. One tug at the tail end of both the ribbons, the one at your chest and at your ass, would fully expose you to Joel. Something you’re desperate to propose to him.

“Aren’t you gonna unwrap your present, Joel?” Picking up each of his hands in yours, you guide one to your lower back and one to your chest, coaxing his fingers to wrap around the ends of the bows. “Or do you not like your gift? I thought you wanted this…”

“No, no, no. I like it. I really fucking like it, sweetheart, I just…Everybody’s downstairs and—”

“I can be quiet. I’m a good girl, Joel.”

That flips a switch in him, hearing those words from you. His eyes darken further, pink tongue poking out to wet his lips. A burning stare combs over you, head to toe, alighting flames in your gut that lick against your insides. Heat crawls across the back of your neck, pooling in your collarbone, and craving oozes between your ribs and between each of your vertebrae. Joel’s right hand lifts from his side, skating up the length of your left arm and leaving goosebumps rising in its wake. Fingertips ghost over the strap of your bra, down to the center of your collarbone, and sitting there. That lasts only a second before his long, thick fingers wrap around the base of your throat, raising his loose grip to settle underneath your jaw.

The silence is heavy, airy breaths the only sounds passed between the two of you. His hand at your neck coaxes your head to tip back, staring up at him looking down at you. A flicker to your lips. A low, curious hum. Arousal pools in between your thighs as you wait with bated breath for something, anything to happen.

“You’re dangerous, doll.” His whisper is coated in lust, his gaze greedy as it drinks you in once again.

“I’m a gift,” you correct sweetly, feigning innocence as a smirk grows on your face at his dark chuckle.

“A gift that keeps on giving?” he questions. His hand twists to allow his thumb to find your bottom lip, dragging across its glossy, cherry surface.

“I guess you’ll have to find out…” Your mouth stays open after speaking, tongue slipping out to lick the tip of Joel’s thumb. He presses his finger further, pushing between your lips as you welcome it, sucking gently. Joel sighs, shoulders relaxing while his eyes flash with need.

“Christ…” he hisses under his breath, shaking his head subtly before clearing his throat. Speaking sternly, unwavering, he says, “Can I unwrap my present, babydoll?”

His thumb leaves your mouth with a quiet pop, hand finding its place again at the slack of the bow at your chest, other arm wrapping around to find the bow at your ass. A gentle tug moves the satiny smooth material a few centimeters, not enough to pull it fully undone.

“All yours, Joel. Picked out ‘specially for you.” Joel smirks at your candied reply, eager to give him exactly what he’s been wishing for. What you’ve caught him staring at the last few times you’ve come back home. What you have been wanting for just as long, if not longer.

“Such a sweet girl. Beautiful girl.”

The words send a tingle down your spine, stoking the flames inside of you. Your eyes stay trained on Joel’s face while his fingers draw the bow at your chest undone, the lengths of material hanging at your sides and exposing your breasts. He licks his lips at the sight of your pebbled nipples, rolling out a stifled groan from his chest.

“Fuck, baby…S’pretty.”

Joel’s hands fan across your lower back, holding your hips against his, pressing his bulge into your covered mound. His broad frame folds forward, draping you backwards in his arms as his mouth attaches to your chest. Humid, open-mouthed kisses are littered across your skin, nips taken at the tender flesh of your breasts. Closing his lips around one of your nipples, he sucks strongly, pulling a whimper from your throat.

“Thought you could be quiet, doll?” he rasps, raising an eyebrow as he looks up at you from your sternum.

Nodding furiously, you pout your lower lip out, whispering back, “I can be, I will be. I promise.”

“You promise? Don’t make promises you can’t keep, baby.” Joel stands up straight, pulling you with him to press against his torso. Catching your lips in a deep kiss, Joel breathes a sigh into your mouth, melting his tongue against yours and drinking in the taste of you.

Dripping with saccharine sugar. Coated with syrupy goodness, plump and succulent like a maraschino cherry. A toothache, or maybe even a heartache waiting to happen.

He’s fucking screwed, but damn if it doesn’t feel good as he nails himself to his own persecution from whoever may find out about this.

Handfuls of your undulating curves fill his palms as he kisses you, groaning into your mouth as he grabs at the swell of your ass. Silky satin brushes against his hand, reminding him of the other part of his present to unwrap. Pulling away from your mouth with one last lick of your candied taste, he has the mind to imagine what the rest of your flavors all across your body might be.

Joel turns you in his arms, back flush to his chest as he grinds his bulge against the lustrous fabric, smirking to himself as you whimper quietly, so hushed he can barely hear it over his heartbeat thudding in his ears. Lips coast over the shell of your ear, nibbling your lobe before pressing a kiss right below.

“Can I undo your other pretty bow, babygirl? Unwrap the rest of my present?” Joel nips again when you breathe out consent. He walks you closer to the bed, hitting your knees against the frame before he takes one step back, touch still lingering on your skin. From behind you, he sighs appreciatively as he drinks in your form, licking his lips as his eyes devour you.

Pinching the ribbon between his thick fingers, he flicks it against your skin, satisfied with the way you react with goosebumps raised. One gentle tug unravels it all, exposing your cheeks to him fully and with the drop of the material from between his fingertips, your panties fall to the floor. One hand wrapping around your thigh, Joel coaxes you to step out to the side with it, kicking the fabric from your ankle.

He kneels behind you, pressing his lips against the swell of your ass. Flooded with the scent of your skin, vanilla and cinnamon, the smell of Christmas. Nose smashed into the supple flesh, teeth sinking into the curve, a gentle bite stealing another taste of you. A curse is mumbled against you, a sweet kiss pressed on the tiny birthmark on your ass, tongue tracing into the fading bite mark.

“Joel…” you whine above him, hand reaching back and nimble fingers tangling into his messy, gray curls.

“I know, doll. Got lost there for a second. You’re so perfect…”

He sighs again, standing up with a quiet crack in his joints. A blatant reminder of the difference between you two. Young versus old. Sprightly versus verging on doddering. Even if he is eager, there’s no denying the difference.

There’s no doubt in your mind that Joel’s about to be more of a gift to you than you are to him. The way he’s touching you, delicate worship before he’s even gotten to what he truly wants, taking his time despite the pressure of the party downstairs. Serves as a reassurance that he wants this as much as you do, wants to take his sweet time if this is going to be his only chance.

You pray to god it isn’t. Even before you’ve even laid eyes on his cock, you just know. He’s going to fuck you senseless. Ruin every other man for you.

In a blur, he guides you to fall forward onto the mattress, hooking fingers to remove your panties from your other ankle while you scoot toward the center. He finds solace between your legs, propping your hips up into a kneeling position to give him easier leverage.

“Think this might be my favorite present I’ve been given, doll. So fucking gorgeous. Looking delectable…Can I have a taste, darling? You as sweet as you seem?”

Your head is turned sideways, laying against the plush comforter, opening your mouth to whisper to him in the same moment he swipes his tongue through your folds, groaning into your inner thigh before he dives back in, working to devour you like a man starved, quenching his thirst on your arousal. Flicking his tongue against your pearl, coated in your translucence, suckling at it with pure need. Turning to press the front of your face into your bedding, it muffles your moans and whines, raising in pitch as he fucks your tight cunt with his strong tongue, lapping at you with the same fervor he’d lick the color from a candy cane.

“Fuck, Joel, fuck fuck fuck!” you shout in a scouring voice, scratching your vocal chords together with a strain. Curling your fingers into the softened, washed fabric, you gasp when one of his solid fingers slips into your walls. He groans, holding back his louder reaction to your gripping walls, hypnotized by the way you even stretch around his fingers when he adds another.

Head against your thigh, he studies the way you take his middle and ring fingers, the velvety slick of your pussy, and the spongy spot he finds, curling his digits to press into it and watch you squirm helplessly from the sensitive pleasure.

“Talkin’ all well mannered and pretty. So quiet and polite all the time. With your ‘yes’sir’s and ‘please’s and ‘thank you’s. You think about saying those to me while you’re under me like this?”

“Yes, yes’sir. All the fucking time. Every time I—I looked at you, felt myself…felt myself gettin’ so fucking wet. Was always dripping around you, waiting for something to happen. For you to take me so I can be a good girl for you, sir,” you confess, obedience and need sitting every word so prettily into his ears. “M’so—Fuck m’gonna come, Joel.”

He nods slowly, taking last looks at your cunt before he moves his fingers in and out quicker, dipping his chin down for his mouth to find your clit against, lapping at your dripping wetness and sucking hard. At the next press of his fingers against that spot inside of you, your vision grows blurred, white haze painting everything with a dreamlike filter. You bite into the linen fabric of your comforter, gagging yourself to keep quiet as you come, digging the balls of your feet to the mattress to push yourself away from Joel who continues to work you through it. He grabs at you, tugging you back to get his fill until you sob, overstimulation drawing tears up to the corners of your eyes.

“All kept and composed and ladylike. Been taught to behave, haven’t you? Bet you fucking love to be such a little slut. Anybody ever let you? Such a dirty girl, aren’t you, babydoll?” Joel’s voice sounds distanced at first, senses falling back into place in your body as you come down completely. His work-worn hands coast over your body, roughening against your soft skin like sandpaper moving with the grain. Little resistance but catching in places it favors.

“Just—Just for you, Daddy.” It slips out smoothly from your mouth, the weight of the title heavy against your tongue in the same way you imagine his cock would feel. Filling. Satisfying.

Joel rises slowly from where he’s bent behind you, letting one leg fall behind him as he stands, the other propped on the bed. His eyes narrow in on yours, lips parted and tongue darting out as he replays what you said.

Daddy.

First, you’re already on his mind and years younger, yet he couldn’t stop picturing you in this exact position. Next, you’re the one to make the first move, dragging him away from this Christmas party and presenting him with a Secret Santa gift that feels way out of the budget. You’re priceless. And now, you’re laid out for him, already nearly at the level of fucked out from him only using his mouth and fingers, and you’re fucking calling him Daddy.

Best Christmas of his goddamn life.

“Now, darlin’, were you saving that to be the cherry on top of the cake? ‘Cause that’s just about the sweetest thing. My pretty lil’ babydoll saying she’s Daddy’s dirty girl,” he scoffs in disbelief, shaking his head while his fingers work his button open on his jeans, dragging the zipper down against his throbbing bulge. “Gonna have to be quiet, yeah? Gotta keep your sweet mouth closed while Daddy fucks you, doll.”

“I’ll be quiet, promise. Please, Daddy.” Your pleas widen Joel’s smirk, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips once again. He pushes his denim down with his cotton boxers in their wake, sighing softly when his hard cock is fully freed. His tip is aching and red, leaking precum and leaving a wet spot on his underwear. With one hand, he starts to slowly stroke himself, holding in a moan enough that it leaves his lips as a soft exhale.

“Good girl…” he mumbles, studying your form. “Move back toward me, babygirl. Hands behind your back.”

Complying with his direction, you inch back until Joel places a hand on your lower back. At that, you lay forward again, the side of your face pressing against the duvet as Joel steps back from the bed and searches the floor. A dribble of drool drips from the corner of your lips as you watch him, one large hand around his cock, spreading his precum along his length. Part of you has the mind to beg for him in your mouth, to completely disregard the need pulsating your cunt at the moment, and to feel his warm spend coating your throat as he finishes fucking it.

But you’re fucking selfish. This is also a gift for you, so win-win.

Pressing your wrists together at your lower back, you observe as Joel locates what he is looking for, standing up with a devilish smirk. Your panties.

He towers over you again when he steps back to you, one hand coasting over the curve of your ass, a gentle smack delivered that makes a quiet yelp escape from your lips. The same hand skims back up your skin, easily grabbing both of your wrists in his long fingers and holding them closer while he slips the silky material behind. In a quick motion, he has your arms tied together with a bow, a content smile on his face as he makes eye contact with you.

“Wrapped all up again, babydoll. Such a pretty gift for me.”

“Well you’ve got a pretty package, Daddy,” you reply with a mischievous giggle, earning a breathy chuckle from Joel behind you. He grips the knot of your makeshift restraint, tugging taut to arch your back and pull your hips closer. His other hand wraps around the base of himself, dragging the head of him through your drenched folds, circling your clit, and chuckling again at the jump of your thighs.

“Please, Daddy, I need—” you start pleading, muffled into linen before you’re cut off by the stretch of Joel’s cock filling your tight hole, a gasp escaping your lungs with a punch. Your mouth is stuffed with the duvet from your bite down, nursing your tongue against the material as he slowly presses into you, inch by inch. There’s an ever-so-slight pain candy-coating the pleasure, melting away to get to the gooey, oozing center that spreads over your entire body.

Pausing when he reaches the hilt of himself, Joel sighs, rolling his head back as he internally thanks whatever Christmas magic must be out there for this moment.

“So fucking tight, baby.”

Your dampened whine shoots a wave of intense need throughout him, growling low as he holds your restraint tighter, dragging his hips back before he starts a punishing pace. Control escapes him, desire taking over his actions as he starts to properly fuck you. His cock teaching you how to take every single inch of it.

Messes of his name and your moans are stifled and stuttered into the comforter gagging you, chest hovering over the mattress as Joel holds tight to the knot in your panties.

“Can’t hold back any longer, baby, jus’—fuck—jus’ gonna take Daddy’s cock like a good girl, aren’t ya?” The only precision remains in the soft cracks of skin on skin, not loud enough to draw any attention from the party downstairs. Poppy carols play faintly in the background, the only other soundtrack being the vulgar mumbles slipping from Joel’s lips.

Drawing you closer and closer, the edge is tasted on your tongue, so close but barely in reach as the man behind you rocks his hips, the tip of his hard cock brushing that same spongy spot inside of you that he managed to reach with his fingers, bruising into your cervix with each snap.

At the next drag-out, Joel pulls away from you completely. When you whine with protest, he’s tugging you to stand up on your knees, whispering in your ear amid his quick movements, “Need to see your face when I make you come all over my cock…”

Before you can be left with any thoughts to a response, he’s flipping you onto your back, hands tied still, and tugging you near again. He steals a pillow from the top of your bed, shoving it under your hips to lift your pelvis, gifting himself the perfect angle to thrust into you again from the height he stands at.

The new angle punches out moans from your chest, Joel’s name littering the empty room as you try so hard to remain quiet.

“Shh, I know, doll, I know. Feels so fucking good, doesn’t it? Y’love bein’ Daddy’s little slut.” Nodding furiously, another louder moan leaves your mouth, brows knit together with worry as you hurtle closer and closer to the edge.

A large palm moves to cover your mouth, shaking his head slowly to remind you of your promise to be his good girl, his quiet girl.

“Pleasepleaseplease, Daddy…” He feels the vibrations of your voice against his hand, the words muddled into slight nonsense from pleasure clouding your brain. Joel holds onto one of your legs, pulling it up to hook onto his shoulder and press forward to get deeper inside of you. The switch has you screaming into his palm, eyes squeezing shut as you squirm under him.

“Eyes on me, babygirl. Keep your eyes on Daddy.”

Joel’s hips pound into you, chasing his own climax. Your eyes snap open at his instruction, mouthing at his hand and moaning loudly behind it, nodding your head furiously. Your tight walls squeeze around his hard cock, his grunts held back to keep quiet despite the noise of the party downstairs growing in volume.

“Come on, doll. Come on my cock…Fuck, you gonna let Daddy fill up your pretty little cunt?” The quick, speechless nods answers his question, both of you toeing the edge.

There’s a moment when both of you seize up, muscles tense and eyes burning into each other’s. It only lasts a split second before it explodes with a pop, at the same second a champagne bottle pops downstairs. Joel breathes out your name, over and over, mingling with your whimpers of his name and Daddy switching back and forth in your mind. Interchangeable to you.

Pleasure fizzes over your bodies like bubbles in the flutes being filled, the bubbling aerations trickling up up up to your head, making you feel lighter than air as pure bliss overwhelms you. Tingles aftershock across your nerves, a shiver sent down your spine as Joel pulls out.

Quietly, he groans as he watches his excess spend drip out of you, mixing with your come and glistening against your folds. One thick finger swipes at the spot, pushing the swirl of you back inside of your walls.

A soft whimper slips from your lips and Joel’s eyes meet yours in a flash, a gentle smile stretching across your face. He coaxes you to sit up and unties your hands behind your back, slowly massaging your wrists with his thumbs and kissing where the skin rubbed against the fabric. The tender touches accompany the soothing, comfortable silence.

Redressing you, Joel attempts to tie the bows of your bra and panties, huffing softly in frustration. You giggle when he’s working on your bra, taking his chin gingerly between your fingers and turning his head to look at you. Leaning in, his lips catch yours in a sweet, sugary gumdrop kiss.

It’s another moment before both of you are fully dressed again. You study yourself in the mirror above your dresser, smoothing your hair down. Joel steps up behind you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and kissing your shoulder through the knit sweater. He turns you around to face him again, grinning shyly as his eyes comb over your face.

The two of you share another kiss, his calloused hand cradling your cheek when he pulls away.

“You gonna be under my tree again on Christmas day, doll?”

“Depends…Were you naughty or nice this year?” you counter, earning a quiet laugh from Joel as he shakes his head.

“Think what just happened has put me on the naughty list for a long time, babygirl. And you, too.” He shoots you a cheeky wink and you laugh, shaking your head as you lock your fingers together in front of you.

“I did actually get you something though…” you admit shyly, rocking back and forth on the heels of your feet.

Joel grins, eyes flicking down to your anxious hands. His thumb brushes against the skin of your cheek, eyes meeting yours again as he replies, “You have another gift for me? Didn’t need to do that, doll.”

“I mean…Kinda needed a backup plan if this whole thing didn’t work out.” A chuckle is shared between both of you before you continue, “Sorry for spoiling the whole guessing game of Secret Santa.”

“Darlin’, you could spoil any games for me if it ends up with this kinda surprise.” Joel smirks before stealing another quick kiss, pulling away when you step back to fish out the small, meticulously wrapped giftbox from the top right drawer of your dresser.

Handing over the square package, Joel’s eyes glitter with boyish excitement. The corner of his mouth pulls up to one side while his thick fingers slip under the creases of the paper to rip the tape, undoing the festive wrapping to reveal the lidded giftbox that he opens quickly. Inside, Joel studies the contents. Small triangles with rounded corners made from thin nylon plastic. A deep emerald green, all sitting like precious gemstones. His initials are branded into one side with gold paint, the flip side emblemed with the silhouette of an owl.

“Sweetheart…Thank you. These are real nice…” he speaks softly while he picks one up between his index and thumb, turning it between the tips of his fingers. “They’re perfect. Gonna be sad if I end up losing one of these like all my other picks.”

You smile sweetly, stepping closer again and resting your hands on his biceps, “Guess you’ll have to take good care of ‘em.”

As he looks at you, he mirrors your smile, sharing one more gentle kiss before whispering against your lips, “Can think of another something I have to take good care of.”

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