freyjascatchariot

[freyjascatchariot]

Vivien McDermid (Scottish, 1981) - Swan Silence (2022)

[freyjascatchariot]

I have a personal theory that cats fall under 2 categories-- Meatball and Noodle. Very easy to guess which one is which here.

[freyjascatchariot]

A Reckoning

Wrote a little something for @houseofwindweek Day 5: Love/Hate!

Read on AO3 here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63861169

Summary:

A little while after surviving the Blood Rite, Emerie berates Cassian for his treatment of Nesta at training.

Azriel and Cassian had given the girls a week's reprieve from training, to recuperate from the Rite. Unfortunately, that meant that because Nesta was on bed rest as a (to Nesta's mind, extreme) cautionary measure, the three of them had been isolated in their individual orbs- Emerie in Windhaven, Gwyn in the library, Nesta in the House. The House had been fretting over its beloved mistress like a mother hen. Even Cassian had only seen his mate intermittently, locked out of her room by the house for the sake of Nesta’s rest. As a consequence, the five of them- the three Valkyries and two Illyrians- had found themselves fairly lonely after a week’s time. 

So Cassian was looking forward to this morning, back to routine. Nesta had not yet awoken, but considering the burn out she had come some close to experiencing, first with Briallyn and then with Feyre, Cassian supposed an extra day or two of rest might be justifiable. Az had already taken off to fetch Emerie, and Cass and Gwyn were on the roof waiting. He was discussing stretching and physical therapies she should incorporate when Az and Emerie touched down. 

“Morning, Em! How are we feeling?” He asked cheerily, a large welcoming smile. He had become quite fond of his new Illyrian sister. 

“Like shit,” she said brusquely, not bothering to spare him a glance as she passed him to speak to Gwyn. The two stepped away from Cassian and his brother, talking a little surreptitiously, sneaking glances the Illyrians’ way. 

Azriel glanced surreptitiously himself at Cass, and Cassian obediently walked over to him. “We should take it easy today. They’re healed but I think they’re still feeling a little raw.” 

Cassian nodded. “Nesta hasn’t even woken. I think just some lighter exercises. I was discussing PT with Gwyn, so maybe just that? I don’t want to let them off too easy. They have to do something.” 

Azriel agreed and called over the two Valkyries. He explained that he’d be working with the priestesses and Cassian would be running them through some recovery drills.

Which left Cassian with Nesta’s two found sisters. “Okay. What we want to focus on in recovery is gently working muscles without straining injuries and keeping core strength. If we lose that, the rest starts to follow. So an easy exercise to start with is—“

“Where’s Nesta?” Emerie hadn’t budged, still standing, hip cocked, arms crossed, full of piss and vinegar.

“I thought I’d give her an extra day or two, all things considered.”

“Still her warden, then. How gracious of you.” 

“ Emerie, ” Gwyn hushed. “Quit it.” Now that Cassian was taking note of it, Gwyn too looked odd. Sheepish, avoiding his eyes. 

This seemed to silence Emerie, so Cassian moved on. “So let’s grab mats and then we can work out a 30 minute routine to do at your leisure—“

“I don’t follow your orders, general. I’m not in your army.”

“Excuse me?” Cassian stared at Emerie, who glared right back. 

She opened her mouth to start something, ignoring Gwyn’s hand on her arm, but they were interrupted by a whistle from Azriel. Cass jogged over to him

“Why does Emerie look like she’s about to rip your balls off?” Azriel asked in a whisper, before calling out the next position to the line of priestesses he was instructing

“I have no idea, I was hoping you knew.” 

“I think maybe we pushed too soon. We should let them off for the day.”

Cassian agreed and returned to the girls to relay just that. 

“No.” Emerie’s voice brooked no argument.

“No?” Cassian raised his scar cut eyebrow. “It’s for the best, Em. You clearly don’t want to train.”

“I’m not having you shuffle me off to Windhaven.”

Cassian sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Perhaps Nesta was not always a positive influence. “Emerie, you and Gwen are clearly wrung out. I think it’s for the best if you—“”

“I want to see Nesta.” She cut him off. 

“She’s resting. She nearly burned out from her magic.”

“I heard. I want to see her.”

“Trust me, Em. She’s not up for it right now, but when she is—“

“I don’t trust you for a second.”  He dropped his hand from his face, looking at the two. Emerie had murder in her eyes. And Gwyn was staring him down too now, clearly agitated. Which must have agitated a spying Azriel because he was there in an instant. 

“What’s going on?” His brother asked in that calm, low way of his, like placating a snarling wolf. 

“I think everyone is just a little on edge from the past few weeks, and we could all use a beat to calm down and—”

“No. Wrong.” Emerie cut him off again and Gods dammit could Cassian not get a sentence out? “This has nothing to do with us winning the Rite. Except for the fact that some of us shouldn’t even have been there.”

Ah that’s what it was. Cassian supposed they ought to apologize. He had wanted to get them out. He was going out of his mind thinking about Nesta suffering it. “ None of you should have been there. You’re right. An apology is overdue, and I’ll be sure to make sure Devlon reprimands those responsible.”

“No.” Well for fucks sake, what did Emerie want. “I want to see Nesta.”

Axriel interceded this time. “I understand, Emerie. But Madja is concerned about Nesta pushing herself too soon. We’re giving her the time she needs.”

“What do you think I want to make her do, hike a mountain until she collapses? I just want to speak to her. Gwyn and I have to speak to her.” Cassian blushed at the reference. 

“Why do you have to speak to Nesta?” Cassian envied his brother sometimes, that self-possessed way he had of soothing situations. Cassian always seemed to pour more oil on the fire. 

“We need to speak to her to see if we need to tolerate him. If she’s forgiven him. Or whether she’s kicked him aside like she should have.”  She pointed callously with her thumb at Cassian, who was staring mouth agape. 

Much as she loved what was now OFFICIALLY her house, Nesta was beginning to feel caged. If she didn’t know it was out of love for her, Nesta would have considered the House a rather tyrannical jailer. Every time Nesta considered getting up, fetching a new book or a cup of tea or something to eat, the House practically dropped it in her lap. No one was allowed to visit with her for more than 20 minutes at a time, even Cassian. She was getting bored and stir-crazy and lonely.

So it was quite a surprise that, in a deep sleep, Nesta suddenly felt a bright hot ray of summer morning on her face. She peeled her eyes open to find the curtains flung wide. Nesta threw the blanket over her head with a groan, too comfortable, too exhausted to get up yet. 

The House was dissatisfied, opening the window too for a cool breeze to blow the blanket off. Nesta clung tighter to the covers. The House was a determined thing. The Symphonia on her nightstand started playing, a lively waltz from that night of the ball. 

“Fine! What is it!?” The House opened the door to her room, and broke whatever sound bubble in which it had been keeping her. Nesta heard shouting, catching the odd word. It was Emerie.  

““…some puffed-up Illyrian ASSHOLE… treat my friend this way…

“Emerie, calm down!” Nesta had rarely heard Azriel so wound up. What was going on up there?

“Do not insert yourself between me and my mate or you will bear the consequences.” Oh fuck. Nesta started making haste up the stairs. 

“Don’t talk to her that way! It’s bad enough you do to Nesta.” Gwyn?! She was snapping, and it was a louder volume than Nesta had ever heard from her. 

Nesta reached the roof then, and all eyes were on her in an instant, including the priestesses who were half alarmed, half titillated by the scene. Cassian was at her side in a heartbeat, holding her arm gingerly for support. 

“Take your hands OFF of her,” Emerie snarled. Cassian snarled back in response, a low threatening thing.

“Emerie, you know it’s dangerous to get between a male and his mate. Let’s just all take a moment and calm down,” Azriel tried again in that cool timbre, but to no avail. Emerie was heading towards them with a head of steam, and when Gwyn tried to follow, an anxious Azriel yanked her back.

“I don’t give a shit if you’re her mate. No male treats my friend that way and gets away with it.” Emerie threw her arms around Nesta and squeezed. “Are you okay?”

Nesta wriggled just a bit, trying to get a little more air. “Yeah. I’m fine. What’s going on?”

“Everyone's a little worked up this morning. We’re sorry we got you out of bed. I think Emerie was worried for your state,” Azriel explained. 

“I’m fine. Just a little strung out, I guess. But it’s good to get some fresh air.” Emerie released her and Cassian took the opportunity to wrap his arm around Nesta’s waist, holding her gently and still supporting her arm with his other hand.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you back to bed.” Nesta nodded, and allowed herself to be led. 

“Let go of her.” Emerie said again, more quietly but just as forceful.

“ Emerie ,” Cassian’s low growl held a barely leashed menace, “do not interfere with me and my mate.”

“She’s nothing of the sort until I hear it from Nesta,” Emerie stared Cassian down, unbothered by the growl and bared teeth. “Or are your proclamations about males not owning females, about us having a choice just as much empty rhetoric for Nesta as it is for the Illyrian females?”

“What’s this about, Em?” Azriel stepped in, Gwyn alongside him. 

“Do you know what he said to her? Why she was upset and flown to Windhaven to be taken to the Blood Rite in the first place?” 

Nesta flushed at Emerie’s insinuation, but Azriel shrugged. “They got in a fight, I know that. Nesta and Cassian would both admit to being hot-blooded, no surprises there.” 

“He said he was shackled to her. That’s what he screamed at her in your precious city,” Emerie spat. 

Azriel looked at Cassian, stunned. Gwyn was staring at the ground, and Emerie was shooting daggers at both Illyrians. And Nesta found herself blushing wildly, feeling humiliated, one of the most hurtful moments of her finally burgeoning relationship laid to bare. Nesta forced herself to look up at Cassian, to see his reaction. He looked as if he’d just taken an arrow to the chest, his eyes searching wildly for something to say.

“You said what?” Az asked lowly. 

“He said he didn’t choose to be shackled to her. When they were fighting about the mating bond. After he fled from her for almost a week,” Emerie blazed forward. As painful and embarrassing as this moment was, Nesta had the urge to smile. No one had ever defended her like this. She had become so used to being the one who was the problem, who others were defending from. 

“If Nesta loves him, Emerie–” Gwyn started gently.

“Who said anything about love? Has he? ”

“He did save her life though. Almost sacrificed himself for it.”

“Nesta saved her own life, as well as his.” Emerie snapped back at Gwyn before she realized she had, her face red at the realization. “Sorry. But it’s true. And I’m sick of Nesta bearing the brunt of all the guilt and blame and this prick can just say and do whatever he wants.”

Nesta finally collected herself enough to speak at that. “Em, I appreciate this, truly. But that’s not fair. Things with Cassian and me have been…complicated. I don’t fault him for reacting negatively to that sometimes.”

The arm around her tightened at her words, and Nesta looked up again at Cassian to find tears welling. “No. Don’t say that, Nes. Emerie is right.” He stiffened slightly into that war general posture of his. “Emerie, I apologize for my behavior with you this morning, and I apologize for mistreating your friend. And the apology for you, all three of you, being thrown in and stuck in the Blood Rite still stands. It never should have happened. But if you will allow me, the more pressing of my apologies I need to make to Nesta, and I’d prefer to make those in private.”

Emerie still watched him warily but nodded. “Apology accepted.”

Cassian was still the general, but he smiled warmly. “If I make amends with Nesta, can we be friends again?”

Emerie whispered to Gwyn, consulting her for a moment before turning back to Cassian. Gwyn was smiling now too, which Nesta noticed made Azriel breathe a little easier. “If Nesta tells us we should, yes. On a probationary period.” 

Cassian beamed. “Thank you. I appreciate it. And I’m grateful Nes has a friend like you.” He nodded at Gwyn. “Both of you.” 

Azriel walked over to Emerie, intent on winnowing her home, but gave Cassian a rather intense look as he passed, as if to say “ this isn’t over. ” Emerie wrapped herself around Nesta before she departed, planting a kiss on her cheek and whispered “write if you need anything. Write if you want me to kick him in the crotch,” and Nesta laughed. Azriel nodded to Nesta, his face kind, full of both affection and concern. Before he winnowed away with Emerie, Nesta felt the cool brush of one of his shadows on her wrist. A safeguard, she realized, if the conversation with Cassian went poorly. He’d come and rescue her. She smiled up at him, and his face softened slightly before he disappeared.

Gwyn too hugged her before making her way back down to the library. “I love you. Love you no matter what. No conditions, no expectations. Come visit me when you’re up to it, I have a book for you.” Nesta gave her a squeeze before releasing her, and agreed to it.

“Just you and me now, sweetheart. Time to talk.” Cassian removed his arm from her waist and held the free hand out for her, waiting for her to take it. When she did, he intertwined their fingers, enveloping her small hand with his large warmth.