froggy-ranger

[froggy-ranger]

The "societies in high-magic fantasy settings where body-altering magic is widely available would obviously have a very different relationship with gender than our own, and I feel the implications of that are worth exploring – purely as an intellectual exercise, of course" to "hey, wait a minute" pipeline.

[froggy-ranger]

((Piccolo then choked on his drink and had a coughing fit.))

Was thinking about how funny things turn out with Piccolo and the Son family and this silly idea came out.

[froggy-ranger]

Ohhh my God, the current VA for Foghorn Leghorn actually dubbed it.

[froggy-ranger]

For as popular as the idea of a "hivemind" is we never talk about how it doesn't exist in nature. There's no animal colony that connects and controls all its members through a psychic connection. Even bees, the eponimous hivemind, communicate by pheremones and, more importantly, interpretive dance. My point is when are we going to get a movie about an intensely organized alien race that mainly communicates via sick dance moves, why are we sleeping on this.

[froggy-ranger]

[froggy-ranger]

Honestly, if you ever see a manga character and think "Damn, their style is dope as fuck" 9 times out of 10 their fit comes directly out of a fashion magazine. Sailor Moon was wearing Dior. JoJo was wearing Missoni.

Not to downplay the skill of the artists adapting those styles to their characters, but that is why the drip is so clean.

[froggy-ranger]

“There are no female aliens in our game because we don’t know how to make a female version of this alien” You know that alien you just designed? That male alien? Give it a female voice actor and have characters refer to it as she. That’s it. That’s literally all you have to do 

Make her shorter if you must

Make her BIGGER if you aren’t a coward 

[froggy-ranger]

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

[froggy-ranger]

you could tell me british people say/do literally anything and i would believe it 

[froggy-ranger]

finally, someone for tumblr

[froggy-ranger]

I had a dream that there was this magic meteor coming to destroy the planet and the only way to stop it was to do an evil alien blood transfusion on this teenage girl to give her meteor-controlling powers. She was hesitant about this because she thought her crush might not like her back if she had evil alien blood and that it would be more romantic to die hand-in-hand with him as the world exploded.

But that was a problem for another dream—first we had to get the evil alien blood. The evil alien was this huge scary radioactive slime creature. It might have actually just been Alolan Muk the Pokemon, actually. There was no way it was going to give up its blood voluntarily, so someone had to make nice with it and get close enough to siphon some off. I didn’t so much draw the short straw as get instantly drafted into the role. “Go hench for the radioactive slime monster, you’ll be so good at it.”

And lads? I was so good at it. Maybe too good. I did a whole fucking creepy Igor voice and said stuff like “very good, your sliminess” and it became so attached to me that it wanted to hold my hand and cuddle constantly. The only reason this didn’t immediately kill me is because it has a glowing golden orb it could regurgitate that would heal all wounds in the vicinity and reverse radiation damage. Getting its blood was easy. Escaping less so—I tried to kill it by mixing up some slimes for it to absorb that would theoretically have an explosive reaction. No dice. Trying to trap it in the basement didn’t work—it just oozed up out of the floorboards (it lived in my grandparents’ old house, for some reason.)

And to be clear, it was evil. It was not a nice person. Being its friend and teaching it about the power of friendship was not going to work. It killed and ate organic life for fun and liked to make me sit uncomfortably close to it on the couch to watch Jerry Springer and laugh and laugh and laugh.

I finally snuck out for long enough to make contact with my teammates and get them the blood. By this point, other, smaller meteors were already striking the Earth. When the girl initially refused the transfusion I decided I didn’t want to spend my last hours on Earth hanging out with a really mean slime monster, so I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction, booked a room in a nice hotel, took a luxurious bath, and ate nothing but croissants and raspberries until I looked outside and saw the slime monster standing in the rain holding a boombox above its head. It wasn’t playing music or anything, it just knew that this was the cultural symbol of Please Come Back.

The dream ended with a POV shift to the girl’s crush, who told her he’d love her even if she were part slime monster and helped her do the transfusion. No word on what happened to me.

[froggy-ranger]

why is hideki naganuma insane. who is teaching a middle aged japanese man to say shit like this

[froggy-ranger]

but what if a vampire drank the blood of someone who was anemic like would they be seriously grossed out

“what the fuck is this”

“i have anemia”

“can you take something for that you should probably take something for that this shit is nasty to drink let alone have running through your body i’m setting up a doctor’s appointment for you”

[froggy-ranger]

Best part of Kuuga for me is that in lieu of a secondary rider with superpowers that can go toe to toe with the main Rider we get

Man with Gun

His mid season upgrade is Bigger Gun

His power of friendship super move is Throw Gun to Other Guy

[froggy-ranger]

Stuff that actually happens in Bionicle:

Sexy snakes invent capitalism and then face severe regulation by a bunch of demonic mad scientists.

One of said mad scientists impersonated the mayor of a Frutiger Aero dystopia and put all of the citizens into The Pokéballs That Make You Smaller.

There are six fish-themed warlords with (for the most part) really on-the-nose names. They weren't always fish-themed, they just happened to be in a prison that became flooded with The Water That Makes You A Fish. Their main underling is a four-armed squid-man, who is naturally immune to The Water That Makes You A Fish.

The setting's equivalent of Hephaestus made a bunch of useful stuff, including but not limited: to the first six protagonists, the leader of the Bionicle CIA, some cool planes, and the Bionicle CIA's prison-warden robots.

One of the Magic Frisbees that are the central macguffins of the 2004 arc was stuck between the teeth of the Bionicle equivalent of The Bloop.

Some shark guys who were the antagonists of the 2006 arc got put into the Water That Makes You A Fish. They got turned into eels.

There's an entire group of heroes who were brought together to protect the mad scientist I mentioned earlier, then got turned into tiny lizard creatures by one of the sexy snakes, and they didn't get turned back until thousands of years later.

A random villager from an underwater city (which is directly next to the prison that got flooded with the Water That Makes You A Fish) was transformed by the main macguffin into said prison's jailer, who by that point had already been dead for several millenia after being shanked by the blue fish-themed warlord.

There's a substance called Black Fire, which isn't literally black fire. The CIA's warden robots are filled with (and presumably powered by) it, and can shoot it out of their giant impractical swords.

The Makuta devolution scene.

Bionicle Frankenstein's name can also refer to his private island and also a giant plant monster.

[froggy-ranger]

I feel like how dumb Gawain ends up looking in screen adaptations of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight depends entirely on how hard the costume designer goes on the titular Knight. Like, there's a definite point beyond which you've gotta be like, dude, look at him – of course he's gonna get back up.

[froggy-ranger]

talking to mutuals guide

dming a mutual tricks and cheat codes

basic techniques for reaching out to mutuals

recent advances in talking with mutuals

talking to mutuals okay?

will my mutuals think im weird for talking to them

messaging mutuals in a mutual-honoring way