frogsandteatime - Tumblr blog

[frogsandteatime]

i can't stop thinking about the results of that 65k income poll. i've spent my entire life straddling the poverty line so i understand feeling like even just another 10k would assuage my anxieties, but good fucking lord the ultra-wealthy are absolutely winning this class war if the economic policies they have influenced have convinced so many people that an income that can't even afford to own a home or raise a child is 'rich'.

i really, really hope the majority of those votes are from non-americans applying usd conversion rates to their own currency's purchasing power.

[frogsandteatime]

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

[frogsandteatime]

POV you are about to read some of the most racist french or perhaps belgian shit imaginable

[frogsandteatime]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[frogsandteatime]

i am not sorry

[frogsandteatime]

people will be like 'proud mama bear 🐻💞👶👶' but then don't teach their kids how to catch whole salmons in their mouth at the river

[frogsandteatime]

sorry i will never understand cis grief. your daughter is living her best life and going around with friends and feeling like a human being. your son doesn’t feel like he needs to crawl out of his skin anymore and can actually smile. your children are happy and no longer see their existence as the worst thing in the world. why are you grieving this lmao. grow up.

[frogsandteatime]

apparently one of the ways to say "shaved my head" in Japanese is "頭を坊主にした" which is literally something like "did the monk thing to my head"

[frogsandteatime]

if you don’t think lesbians can view women as sex objects or have to deal with “patriarchal power dynamics” in their relationships i have some news for you

[frogsandteatime]

Jelly cycle, gamblin ink on kitakata paper, hand pressed

[frogsandteatime]

Sluts

[frogsandteatime]

Something that I have noticed is I know almost nobody my age that goes to a food pantry. I know people who regularly run out of money for food and in general have to eat an unsuitable diet because that’s what they can afford and they still don’t go to a food bank, im not sure if it’s because they’re embarrassed or maybe if you didn’t grow up going you don’t know much about it but if you’re financially struggling I really recommend it. And look into other options for food assistance too like community fridges and gardens and other programs that can assist you, where I live Salvation Army pays for an allotted amount of grocery delivery for low income people every month, in the summer farmers take excess produce to the library to be taken by anyone who needs it, etc. There are a LOT of resources for free food that you can look into especially if you are literally not eating because of your financial situation

[frogsandteatime]

My beloved and I are getting in the car to go to their allergy injection. I opened my door they mumbled, “I know, my car smells like garlic.”

I then descended into the greatest understatement as the smell of garlic hit me like a savory wall of scent the likes of which kitchens can only aspire to.

“How!”

“I had a shawarma yesterday and forgot it,” they confessed. “The smell just baked in. It’ll go away. Hopefully”

This seems quite aspirational. Some people have garlic breath but my wife and I will have garlic body after this car ride.

[frogsandteatime]

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[frogsandteatime]