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Noong umalis ka, naniwala akong mahahanap mo ang daan pabalik. Nagdaan ang ilang minuto, Hindi ka pa rin nakakabalik... Natakot akong umalis sa kinatatayuan ko at sundan ka, dahil baka hindi tayo mag-abot o kaya nama'y baka natrapik ka lang pabalik... Pero mukhang naligaw ka, at hindi na ulit kita nakita... Kaya nagsimula na rin akong maglakad-lakad... Palayo nang palayo nang palayo nang palayo sa lugar kung saan iniwan mo ako... Kung saan naiwan at nagpa-iwan naman ako... Dahil sa simula pal ang pala, magkaibang magkaiba na ang daan na tinatahak natin. Simula pa lang pala, hindi ka naman nang-iwan. Simula pa lang pala, mag-isa lang akong naglalakbay. Nagkataon lang na bigla tayong nagkasabay. Simula pa lang pala, hindi ikaw ang naligaw kundi ako. Ako, na sa di sinasadyang pagsabay mo, ay sinundan ang mga yapak mo- Sa pag-aakalang papunta ka rin sa pupuntahan ko. Naligaw ako. Nawala at nawalan. Wala ka namang ibinigay, pero pakiramdam ko, may kinuha ka sa'kin, kasabay ng iyong pag-alis. Kaya ngayon ay patuloy akong lalakad. Maghahanap ng talagang gustong puntahan. Mabagal pero hawak ang pag-asang makakatawid. Magbabakasakaling mahanap sa kung saan ang nawala sa akin.

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Most people give a fuss on physical wounds, while, there are people who may not even heal no matter how much time had passed. Fragile as they may seem, they have fought battles unimaginable to most. Nevertheless, they live yet an extraordinary life of positivity and inspiration regardless of their scar from deep within.

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More Than What We Signed Up For

An open letter to students who are open-minded.

Dear Students,

We, teachers, know that we signed up for the profession of teaching and its duties & responsibilities thereupon. We are not oblige to fulfill each excellently, but we always try our best to do so, like we are no ordinary person.

Person. Yes. We, teachers are equally as human person as any student we have. We can feel the negative emotions. We get tired, break, & hurt. We also have our own worries, troubles & fears. However, since it is expected that we become the pillars for you, our students, all mentioned doesn't have to always show. It doesn't mean that since it is invisible, it doesn't exist. So, it's not surprising that some students behave selfishly.

The thing is, every time they misbehave, teachers are expected to see the student beyond being a student. We have to go about their personal histories. While most of the time, students simply see teachers as teachers based on the given job description.

When a student is having a hard time, teachers always have to lend them an ear, and spend a couple of hours with them. But when it comes to class discussions, many students cannot even stay still for an hour and obviously do not listen. In worse cases, besides not listening, some even cause a ruckus in the class, thus, teachers always have to go through the 1 vs 40+ voices in every section, a day. Given such an important position and authority as a teacher doesn’t guarantee that students will hear or even listen to us. Then, when the results of not listening to the discussion appears (low scores, etc.), they put the blame on the teachers for not teaching well. We also have to put up with parents' reactions on their children's grades and/or behaviors.

When students are given exercises, tests, assignments & PTs, most of them think that these are given to make them suffer and to not enjoy their free times. Maybe because they do not understand that these are our tools to measure how much they've already learned & what more we can give. Aside from that, it also usually takes us several days & some sleepless nights to prepare these tasks for them. Our task doesn't even end after giving the tasks. We have to invest some time again to scrutinize the submitted works & give feedback as soon as possible.

Usual reasoning of a student includes that they do not only have one subject. Remember, teachers were once students, too. We have also undergone similar problems as a student. Aside from that, teachers handle more than one class, wherein, one class has more or less 40 unique students. Day in, day out, a student may have come across 8-10 teachers, but, teachers, we, might have dealt with 120-200 students each day. While students deal with the requirements of these 8-10 teachers, we, teachers deal with whines, requests, comments, etc. of these 120-200 students.

When a class is compared to another because of behavior, most students feel bad or offended. So that's why teachers must look into every positive thing they can get in every class. But when it comes to students, it is very easy to compare a teacher to another - at times, in a very obvious manner. I wonder why many students do not feel even a little guilt for badmouthing their teachers among peers yet acting good & innocent when they are with their teachers.

When students get tired, most of them complain & demand for rest. They claim that they have sleepless nights when they actually had more or less 3 hours of sleep, sometimes due to academic requirements or watching entertainment shows until midnight. Somehow, they cannot distinguish 3 from 0 hours of sleep which most teachers go through when preparing for the lessons the following meeting or creating questions for an exam. Furthermore, weekend group meetings for students amplify the burden. How about teachers who sometimes spend not only weekends but also holidays in school?

Many people might think, well, all mentioned are part of the job and therefore, compensated by teachers' salary and/or benefits. I have to say, not exactly. Sometimes, it is already exhausting to care too much. Then, teachers shouldn't just care at all if it's such a bother, right? But, no. It can't be helped, because it is natural for them to do so. Teachers are paid well for imparting the knowledge & skills for which they have been trained, but the service beyond that is primarily humane instinct.

This is not an appeal for any increase in the monetary value they are already receiving, but a call to students to treat their teachers well enough as they truly deserve. Besides, learning is a two-way process and is only effective when both teacher & student exert meaningful effort in the field.

Sincerely, A student who became a teacher

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Silver Snake

I used to think of that silver snake and how easy it could take one's life away- Slithering along the pulse of it's hypnotized victim... Changing his skin color bloody red, Leaving the victim cold & pale... The silver snake then falls

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Mga Estudyante Kapag Exam

Habang nagmumuni-muni ay naisipan kong isulat ang mga madalas na estilo ng mga estudyante para pumasa. Sa panahon ng pagsusulit, kadalasang kapit sa patalim talaga ang mga hindi handa. Para sa iba, hindi bale nang mangopya, ang mahalaga ay makapasa. Sana pagsumikapang ituwid na ang baluktot na paniniwalang ito. Sana hindi pa huli ang lahat para magbago. 

Kuwago/ Matang lawin. Ito yung mga estudyante na napakalinaw ng mata. Kaya nilang matanaw ang sagot ng mga kaklaseng dalawa o tatlong upuan ang layo mula sa kanila.

Giraffe. Ito yung mga estudyanteng medyo malabo ang mata kaya dumedepende sa expandable at napakaflexible nilang mga leeg.

Pa-fall. Ito yung mga estudyanteng palaging may nahuhulog/hinuhulog na gamit – ballpen, eraser, panyo, atbp. Dahil hindi sa kanila naging epektibo ang dalawang nauna. Mas malayo-layo ang nahulugan ng kanilang gamit, mas malaki ang oportunidad na makapasa.

Maluwag ang pantog/Sira ang tiyan. Ito yung mga estudyanteng palaging kelangang magbanyo sa kalagitnaan ng pagsusulit.

Levitating chair. Bago mag-exam, may ‘special’ seating arrangement ang mga teachers para hindi matukso ang mga estudyante na magkopyahan. Pero hindi pa man natatapos ang exam, may mga estudyante ng misteryosong nagbabago ang lokasyon ng upuan. Kapag sinita naman, hindi raw sila gumalaw. Baka lumutang ang upuan at nadala lang sila.

Gymnast. Sa haba ng exam, may ibang bigla na na lang mag-iinat at mag-sstretch ng likod hanggang sa punto na natatanaw na nila ang papel ng nasa likod. Ang iba sa kanila, dati nang mga giraffe kaya mas naeenhance pa ang kakayahan nila bilang giraffe.

Curious kid. Bago mag-exam, kadalasang linya ng titser ay: “If you have any questions, ask me and not your classmate…” Ito yung estudyanteng napakamasunurin sa rule na nabanggit. Maya’t mayang tinatawag ang titser na nagbabantay para magtanong. Minsan pa, sa galing magtanong, nakakakuha ng tamang sagot. Ilan sa halimbawa ng mga itinatanong ay spelling ng salita, anong ang kabaliktaran ng *salita*, ano ang kasingkahulugan ng *salita*, atbp.

#Oportunista. Madalas siyang nag-aabang sa mga tanong ni curious kid. Dahil kapag ang titser ay nakapokus kay curious kid, oras niya namang mangalap ng sagot sa katabi.

Showbiz ‘couple’/ Pashowbiz. May mga estudyanteng akala mo hinahabol ng paparazzi sa kakataas ng bimpo nila o papel para matakpan ang mukha. Ano nga ba ang tinatakpan? Mukha? Hindi. Tinatakpan nila ang kanilang bibig para hindi mahalatang nagtatanong sila sa katabi.

Star of the Year/ Kabute. Sila yung kapag pumasok, talagang naglilingunan ang buong klase at kung minsan pa’y may kasabay na hiyawan. Sila kasi yung mga estudyanteng madalas wala, pero kapag exam, palaging present.

Call center agent kids. Ito yung mga estudyanteng puyat na puyat kaya kung minsan, late dumarating pag exam o kaya nama’y tinatanguan lahat ng tanong sa exam.

Early bird awardee. Ito yung estudaynteng palaging una matapos sa exam sa dalawang dahilan: (1) I got a blank space baby, and I write my name~ (halos pangalan lang ang alam isulat sa exam) o (2) sadyang magaling/nadalian sa exam.

Maawain. Sa sobrang maawain ng estudyanteng ito, hindi man siya nangongopya, siya ang nagpapakopya. Madalas, sadya niyang hindi tinatakpan ang papel niya o kaya nama’y itinataas ito para makita ng kaklase sa likod o pwede ring kapag magbabanyo, iiwan lang na nasa plain view ang mga sagot niya sa papel.

[from-mars-to-you-blog]

Musika

Kan tuminugtog an radyo, Sakuyang narumduman, An mga panahon na ika sakuyang kaibanan. Aroaldaw. Hanggang natuod na pirming yaon ka dyan. Siring sa musika, Habang naghahaloy, naggagayon an melodiya. Nagririkas. Nagbabagal. Nagkukusog. Nagluluya. Namumundo. Nag-oogma. Padikit-dikit nagrararom an pinaghahalean. Dai nakamangno na an dating mga mayong kahulugan na tataramon, Ngunian, sobra pa sa saro an boot sabihon. Masakit hulaan kun ano talaga an ipinaaabot. Nin huli sa pagkaribong, Ipinadangog sa iba, Asin sa saindang opinyon, ako nakisumaro. Magayon daa, asin totoong marhay. An musika. An kanta. An mga tataramon na pano nin pagmati. Dai nanggad mahandal. Gabos ini, totoo. Alagad, siring man sa kanta, Gabos na ini minaabot sa katapusan. Kun an gabos nasabi na, Kun an gabos naipamati na, Kun an gabos naipasabot na... An kanta, matapos naman. Magayon man asin marhay, Nagin totoo man o dai an mga tataramon, Gabos na ini, matapos man sana. An dating aroaldaw, nagin kada semana Asin an kada semana, nagin kada bulan An kada bulan, nagin kada taon... Hasta dai ko na ika kaibanan.

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The heart remembers well

The awkward beginning The sweet yet bashful morning greetings The daring love confession The endless exchange of text messages The giddy feeling on the first date The floating steps on the first dance The long-lasting ear-length smile From a very unexpected present Of love, faith, hopes, and dreams... A lovely once upon a time... Once upon a time... Yes, the heart remembers well... The heart remembers well enough to not forget that the happily ever after has been bestowed... Maybe not together, But still a happily ever after.

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Last December 10, 2016, along with my new advisory class, SC9, we visited Hablon Dawani (Bicol term for rainbow) for their class outreach activity. With great efforts of class especially their President, Lester, and the officers, the activity ended as a success! All thanks as well to the supportive teachers of the class, Ma'am Jojie, Sir Carl and Ma'am Alyza. It was a very meaningful experience made possible by these students. It was an event that totally gave me a clear view on a different side of them - that is, being Ates and Kuyas of the children in Hablon Dawani. (Looking forward to more fun adventures on learning and meaningful experience with these kids~ :) )

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Shall I?

Tell me, what should I do if I am so confused to even step a foot forward? Tell me, shall I reach unto you even if you seem disconnected in this world? Shall I go after you even if no road leads to you? Shall I look for you even if you don't want to be found? Shall I speak to you even if there's the noise of doubt & mistrust? Shall I run to you even if you're running away from me? Shall I just write these thoughts in hopes of them, reaching you - Shall I keep my ground and wait, until such time? The time all these come clean- shall I rewrite or delete everything?

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Kugos

Sabi ninda, may mga kugos na nakakapatod hinangos. Kun siring, ayos na sana, basta ika an makugos sako. Ayos lang, basta sa huring pirang segundo kan buhay ko, aram ko asin namamati kong yaon ako sa kaiba mo. Mautsan man ako, an saimong lalawgon an rurumdumon ko sa pangaduwang buhay. Alagad, naaraman kong may mas masaklap pa palan kaysa mawaran nin hinangos habang kugos mo... Biyo na bagang pinupuga asin napipiutan an sakong daghan. Pero aram ko na dai man ini matapos sa pagkautas nin sakong buhay - dawa marhay pang iyo an mangyari. Dai nanggad mapupundo ining pagkapoot, ining kulog- ta dai man mapupundo an sakuyang pagkamoot... dawa pa ngani na siya an kugos mo.

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Fiction

I  saw you tonight in the corner of the street - with that  beautiful smile - waiting for me. I run over the pages of our unfinished story, hopeful that maybe this time will be the much awaited sequel. My steps are light and heart even lighter. Slowly, I walked towards you... The moonlight even making the scene both mysterious & romantic. The closer I get to touching you, the closer you are in turning your face towards me... Everything's moving in slow motion. When I was about to reach your hand, I suddenly woke up with a start - that part of the story was never written.

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Ghost

It's different when you're alone. You got to think about everything on your own. It's dangerous, because no one can stop you from anything that's going on inside your head - whether to get lost and be gone for good or live... Like nothing ever happened. Or that you pretend that there wasn't anything going on. While it's okay not to be okay, you choose to be okay. When I speak to you, I want you to clear these things out of my head. I want you to listen. I want you to say everything's going to be fine even if it won't. But I can't even if I want. Because besides people who have the sixth sense, I am invisible.

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Fragile

sore small round button- calm shallow river wash clean

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There is a scary being More so than the monster under your bed- In its most innocent face, Smiling at you, Sending butterflies in your stomach. A monster who can hypnotize you to do anything it'd like you to do. A being that may touch you anywhere, and maybe hold you-       your hand,       your heart,       your soul,       your life... It will give you sleepless nights & beautiful daydreams, There will be promises, too, of infinities & forevers... Effortlessly residing in your mind, Becoming one with your soul, Sucking out the pain, the sorrows & inhibitions, Until, you could no longer live without it. . . . . . without him.

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Enot na Aldaw kan Agosto

Plano an agahan Papel an pangudtuhan Kompyuter an kahampangan sagkod na abuton nin maagahon. Ano pa daw an marhay gibuhon? Ano pa an pwedeng ikatao? Dai taka bisto Dai mo ako bisto Alagad, an maaraman kong gusto mong magpabisto, sarong onra... Kun panong ipinasirip mo sako an mga nakatagong kabtang kan saimong buhay... Kun panong kusog-boot mong ipinahiling an mga istoryang habo mo ng marumduman... Kun panong ipinagkatiwala mo an mga kagabatan na namamatean mo sa sarong maluyang taong arog ko. Magdanay lugod an saimong kakusugan boot ta nganing saimong maabot an mga pangiturugan na saimong minamawot. Dai ka mahandal, ta uya ako.