frombaytobillings

[frombaytobillings]

Walking in Which Name?

I’ve heard it said on multiple occasions that everybody is worshiping something/one. Wether they are aware of it or if it is intentional is another story. I believe this to be true because we are all living for something. We are constantly making conscience decisions every day. There must be some driving factor inside of us that leads us to make those decisions. 

I’ve also realized in life that who/what we are actually worshiping could be far different from who/what we say we are worshiping. Reading my Bible this morning, I came across this verse in Micah;

“For all the peoples walk each in the name of its god, but we will walk in the name of the Lord our God forever and ever.” - Micah 4:5

I have spent my entire life in church. I have spent my entire adult life in ministry. I have graduated from bible college and for the first time in my life, have even thought about getting additional biblical/ministry schooling. All that to say, there are still many days when I find myself walking in the name of another god. There are times when my focus and attention are on something else, when that deep decision-making drive within me is being steered by something other than God. It’s not often a conscious decision and that’s what makes it dangerous. 

I think if we’re all honest with ourselves, we would admit that we all have these other-driving devices inside of us, but that doesn't mean we have to keep it that way. One thing I have learned over the last few years is that following God and walking in His name requires a lot of deep intentionality. I don’t know about you, but it’s not my natural inclination. I don’t default to following God. I default to a human sin nature. 

The beauty of grace is that God already paid the price for our infinite u-turns. We can put a stake in the ground today and make the decision to be a lot more intentional about the direction we’re walking in. We can be purposeful in our families, workplaces, friendships, and hobbies. We can live a the life that Paul encourages us to when he tells us, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

Don’t let your default settings be good enough. There is nothing “default” about our walk with God. He is a God of the fresh and the new. So, we need our settings to be fresh and new as well. We need to live with purpose and intentionality. We need to choose each day which path we are going to walk in. 

“... choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” - Joshua 24:15

[frombaytobillings]

The Pain of God’s Will

God’s will is good. It is pleasing. It is perfect.

It is also painful. 

As many of you know, my wife, child, and I moved to California back in June. We felt that God was calling us to come out and be a part of the Bridge Foursquare Church in Foster City. We were really excited for the potentials that hid in the uncertainties. So, we stepped out in faith and made the jump.

It didn’t take a lot of faith for me to make that decision. We were hopeful and confident that the Lord would come through. Sure, we were sad about all of the things and people we would be leaving. We both loved our jobs and our community, but we knew that if God said go, we would go. 

For me, that was easy faith. It didn’t take long to realize that having faith for a decision is a lot different than having faith through the circumstances that follow. I’m not quite sure what our expectations actually were, but we have been on a roller-coaster ride for the last three months. We still put all of our faith, trust, and hope in the Lord, but sometimes it has taken a good kick in the pants by pastors and mentors to remind me that God cares a lot more about our character than our situations. And let me tell you, building character and perseverance is not a comfortable task. 

Things have been difficult. There have been times when I have been sitting in traffic and almost burst to tears thinking back on the life we had. We loved our jobs. We love our friends. We loved our home. We loved the flexibility that our schedules allowed us to have. There isn’t anything wrong with that, either. Faith doesn’t neglect feelings. Faith is, in part, focusing on God through the midst of difficulty. We are confident that we are following God’s plan for our family, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t struggled in it. We have both literally cried for home. 

It’s been hard, but it has also been amazing. We’ve gotten to be a part of what God is doing out here and He’s been up to some big things. We have gotten to be used by Him in great ways. That’s the beauty of being in God’s will. In His love, He allows us to be a part of what He is doing. In His love, He allows us to go through trials that build our character. In His love, He allows tribulations to strengthen our faith. He knows that this is necessary for the season ahead. God doesn’t like to torture us for the sake of pain. He allows pain for the sake of our growth. If I want to be used by Him in big ways, He needs me to develop me into the person I need to be for that. 

James 1:2-4 says, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

I’ll be honest in saying that I’ve felt embarrassed through this process. It’s not fun to talk to friends back home when you still don’t have a job (which means we still don’t have our own place to live). There’s a paranoia in my mind that tends to translate “we’re trusting in God” to “we have no idea what we’re doing and we’re idiots for not having all of our ducks lined up in a row before moving” in the ears of others. 

In Romans 5, Paul says that we “rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

There’s pain in God’s will, but there’s no shame. There is testimony. Hope allows us to see what God is doing and to trust that He is a purposeful God. We said from the beginning that we wanted this to be a testimony of faith to those around us. We want people to see what God has done in our situation and give Him all the glory. 

God has blessed us so much through this process. The moment we arrived in Fremont, there were people who were here to help us move our stuff. We have been blessed with a great group of friends that were mostly strangers three months ago. We are a part of a loving, positive, and supportive staff at the church. We have both been able to jump right into ministry and are doing things we love to do. We may not have our own place, but we are living with my parents who truly love us and are allowing us to stay in their home until we can afford to move out. We have been blessed in so many ways and I strongly believe that we haven’t even reached a single percentage of what is to come. I don’t know what God will do in the future, but He has done more than enough to earn my trust. Whatever He has planned is going to blow our minds. I truly believe that.

I want to encourage you for the same thing. Even if your life is seemingly perfect right now and you’re living the dream. There is always an additional abundance in the will of God. When we make ourselves available - when we step out of the realm of comfort - we will see God do some extraordinary things.

There is pain in God’s will, but there is also beauty. There is sorrow, but there is also joy. There are struggles, but there are also blessings. His will is good, it is pleasing, and it is perfect.

[frombaytobillings]

Fading West

The McMullens are moving to California! Bay Area, to be a little more specific. How did this come about? Well, I’ll tell you. So, grab a chair and gather ‘round…

God is calling us to be a part of The Bridge – a Foursquare church in Foster City, CA – and the church that I was privileged to call home for the first 25+ years of my life. A while back, we felt led to pray about it and have since felt very strongly that that is the direction God is calling us to take. That is the single and only reason why we are moving.

Here are some things that we would like to clarify before you even ask…

My last day as a full-time staff member at Word of Life will be Sunday, June 4th.

We will both be serving at the church in CA, but not in paid positions.

That means that I will need to get a full-time job elsewhere (that which, as of now, I do not have and am looking for – so if you know of a good fit, by all means let me know).

We won’t know what our living situation will be until the job aspect is figured out.

The church is in Foster City, not the actual city of San Francisco.

The Bay Area (for those in Montana) is not close to Los Angeles. They are about 400 miles apart (think Billings to Missoula).

Before Holly and I got married, we talked about how we wanted to model dependency on God to our kids. We didn’t want to simply teach them about the faithfulness and love of God; we wanted them to experience it first hand. In doing so, we knew that we would have to be willing to do whatever God would have us do and trust Him in the process. That requires boldness – something that we both have struggled with in our lives. In fact, that is what led us to name our son Caleb. Caleb means, “to be bold.” We wanted to proclaim boldness over our son and use that as our reminder to make obedient decisions for the Lord.

Think about Caleb in the Bible. He knew that God had called Israel to possess the land of the Canaanites, and while everyone was freaking out about the obstacles that were before them, he boldly stood firm on the direction of the Lord. God told them to go and that was all he needed.

That’s all Abraham needed.

That’s all Noah needed.

That’s all the disciples needed.

Should we need any more than that?

This is the action part of our faith in play. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to do all that I can to make sure my family is provided for, but I’m not doing it with a sense of despair or anxiety. I’m trusting in God, but I’m also making sure that I do my part. I’m learning to let go of all the “hows” and be confident in the provision of the One who holds the entire universe in His hands. All throughout Scripture, God was making moves that even the central characters were not aware of. It’s when they started to worry and made moves without Him that things turned sour (think Abraham and how he twice played his wife off as his sister. Think of Saul and the sacrifice he made without waiting for Samuel. Think of Israel when they built the golden calf.). We are trusting in God’s provision and continual direction and appreciate you  praying for the same.

As difficult as it is for us to move away from our friends, church family, and Holly’s family, I’m excited to be going back home. I love the congregation and staff that are at that church and we’re both looking forward to the possibilities that will emerge for us. They are such a great group of people.

I’m also excited to live by my family again. We are the only McMullens from my grandparents on down who don’t live in California. I love my family and we’re looking forward to being there and strengthening those relationships.

And, in case you don’t really know me at all, I’m excited to live in great proximity to the beach, San Francisco, AT&T Park, other sports fans, the Bay, Lake Tahoe, and relatively close to SoCal (and Disneyland!). The thought of not being able to do the same things with my kids that my parents did with us had always haunted me. Now, I’ll be able to take Caleb to all those places and do all those things.

To all our family and friends in Billings, you have been a huge blessing in our lives. We are grateful for all the time we have spent with you and the ways you have enriched our lives. We will definitely take lots of trips here in the future to visit (perks of having the in-laws here). In the meantime, we are here until June and want to take advantage of all the time we have left with you all! If you have any questions or just want to hang out, you know how to reach us. To our Californian friends… Get excited (that very last part was Holly’s inclusion)!

“I’m headed back to the West Coast where I’m from. I’m headed back to the left coast where I belong. California’s calling me back home. Fading west with you.” 

- Switchfoot; Fading West

[frombaytobillings]

Reflecting on Steadfast Love

Have you ever been reading through the bible, marveled at God’s steadfast love, then realized that we marvel by looking at the past? That’s not to say that we don’t anticipate God in the future or marvel at who He is in the present, but that most often, our gratitude breaks forth through reflection. I am eternally thankful for something that God did thousands of years ago from a manger, through a cross, and to the heavens. We are living on a planet that God created “in the beginning.” It is the past that causes us to be appreciative.

Nowhere is that more evident in Scripture than in Psalm 136. It begins with, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever,” and ends with, “Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.” Those two passages are great reminders for us to give thanks, but it’s each verse in between those two where reflection happens. The psalmist begins to tell the story of the Lord by starting with creation. 

“to him who alone does great wonders... to him who by understanding made the heavens... to him who spread out the earth above the waters... to him who made the great lights... the sun to rule over the day... the moon and starts to rule over the night...” (v. 4-9)

The psalmist continues by telling of how the Lord brought them (Israel) out of Egypt and the power displayed at the Red Sea and in the removal of mighty kings who stood before them. By verse 23, he brings it home by saying, “It is he who remembered us in our low estate... and rescued us from our foes... he who gives food to all flesh...” (v. 23-25). 

If you are at all familiar with this chapter, you’ll notice one very important part that infiltrates every thought. Every single verse ends with, “for his steadfast love endures forever.”

I think he’s on to something here.

What if we all took a moment to follow the example of this psalmist. Go ahead. Take a look back at every moment in your life. Look at the joys and look at the sorrows. Look at the mountaintops and the valleys. And when you do that, remember that the steadfast love of the Lord was there through it all. 

His love for me was there when I was born. His love for me was there when I broke my nose (all three times!). His love for me was there when I didn’t have any friends. His love for me was there when I graduated high school. His love for me was there when I moved away to college. His love for me was there when my wedding was canceled. His love for me was there when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. His love for me was there when that same cancer was removed from his body. His love for me was there when I moved away from all I had known to an extremely different (and cold) northern state. His love for me was there when I went through counseling. His love for me was there when I met, dated, and married my wife. His love for me was there through the ups and downs of my job in full-time ministry (as it was in the longing to be in full-time ministry). His love for me was there when my son was born. His love continues to be here with me and I will forever give thanks to Him every step of the way.

What about you? Are you letting your history lead you to thanksgiving? Are you letting your past proclaim His steadfast love? It was there. Maybe you couldn’t see it. Maybe you refused to accept it. But it was there. And it always will be.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.”

[frombaytobillings]

Legacy Through Obedience

I’ve only written one blog since my son was born (over four months ago). That post was about the concept of leaving a legacy. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a dad now, but that same concept is what has been in my head lately as well. Mainly, that we can’t default into a legacy. We either do our part to extend it, or we end it. There really isn’t a middle ground.

In Psalm 132, the author is reminding the Lord of some of the hardships that David endured and how he swore to the Lord that he would not rest until he found a dwelling place for Him. Then the Lord responded with His own oath back to David that said, “One of the sons of your body I will set on your throne. If your sons keep my covenant and my testimonies that I shall teach them, their sons also forever shall sit on your throne” (v. 11-12).

It would be awesome, I’m sure, if the oath ended at the end of verses 11. “One of the sons of your body I will set on youth throne.” Period. A promise that endures always. If we are going to be honest, I bet there’s a part within us that wishes legacies worked this way. Some ancestor of mine did something great and my family line will live in the inheritance forever. That’s not how things work, though. That’s not how financial inheritances work and that’s not how the Lord’s oath to David worked.

Verse 12 says, “IF your sons keep my covenant and my testimonies that I shall teach them…” The Lord’s promise to David had a caveat. They can sit on the throne forever IF they keep His covenant and testimonies. There was obedience required then and there is obedience required now.

Whenever I think of legacies, I can’t help but think of my own grandpa, William McMullen Sr. After all, that is where my legacy begins. In fact, that’s where my last name extends through and where my middle name originated (William, not Senior). I love the legacy my grandpa started. He surrendered his life over to the Lord and has served faithfully in the church ever since. He is a pillar. He is consistent. And he is faithful. My dad has become the same figure in many ways. He has become a pillar. He has been consistent and faithful throughout the last several decades. However, he wasn’t always that way. Like most children alive during the 60’s and 70’s, there was rebellion. It took its toll, but didn’t consume him. My dad turned his life around and became the man he is today (and has been throughout my entire lifetime).

I don’t say that to highlight the rebellion (this isn’t Star Wars), I say that because it sheds light on a very important aspect of legacy: You can’t default into legacy. My dad didn’t automatically default into the man he is because of the man my grandpa is. That’s not how it works. As I mentioned earlier, there’s obedience to the Lord required. Once my dad surrendered his life and started living in obedience, my grandpa’s legacy took another step forward with the next generation.

Now, being third in line, I have to keep this same truth in my mind. I can’t default into that legacy because my last name is McMullen. I have to continue and progress that legacy through my own surrendered obedience to the Lord. That’s it. There isn’t another way to do it. The great thing about being third in line, though, is that I have a couple examples to look towards. It’s because of who my grandpa and my dad are that spur me forward to be all I can be. I’m proud to be in this bloodline and I want to do my part to pass it on to my son as well. I just need to constantly remember that there isn’t a lazy way to do it. There isn’t any easy way around it. I need to be surrendered in my obedience to the Lord.

I want my son to look up at me through his lifetime and see that very surrendered obedience. I want him to grow up seeing very real examples of what happens when God’s people listen to His voice and follow His call. I want him to experience what living by faith is like. I want to pass on so many things to Him, but I can’t do that if I am not living them out. Legacy is passed through obedience. That’s it.

[frombaytobillings]

Legacy

Last night, I had the privilege of attending a fundraiser for a great foundation that is geared towards helping others (by “attending” I really mean running the A/V portion of the event). About 2-3 years ago, a fairly well-known family in town lost their twenty-two year old son (for the sake of anonymity for the family, we’ll call him Steve). I personally had never met him or known anything about him. His family established a foundation after him to help support what some would call the “health of the whole.” Steve believed so strongly that people needed to grow in their emotional well-being to ever reach their maximum capacity for life and leadership. He was involved in various Cloud and Townsend programs and often advocated that to others. 

At this event, I was able to listen to a local pastor who pastors a church in the thousands talk about the life change that occurred in him because of the programs that Steve wanted him to be a part of and how that has since affected his whole church staff and congregation. John Townsend himself was there and shared a bit about what he does that Steve so strongly believed in. 

However, this isn’t about that. 

Someone walked on stage to talk about the mission and values of the foundation when they said this: “(Steve) was great and his life was great, but his legacy is even greater.”

Through this foundation that was set up in his name, he is reaching far more people than he ever would have on his own if he were still here. And that reminded me of what Jesus told His disciples in John 16,

“But now I am going to him who send me, and none of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ But because I have aid these things to you, sorrow has filled your heart. Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.” (v. 4-7)

Now I’m not saying that Steve dying is the equivalent of Jesus sending the Holy Spirit, but there is certainly something to be said about our legacy here. What are we really leaving behind? I used to think of legacy almost exclusively in regards to family. I’ve even written a post about how I am the byproduct of my grandpa’s legacy. That’s true. I am. But I think there should be more to our legacy than our children. When we leave, it should have a positive effect on our community.

For example, we had our Foursquare Northwest District Conference this past week and one of the speakers shared briefly about transitioning and how necessary that was for the growth of not only the congregation, but of the leaders that came behind him. Losing someone isn’t typically a joyous occasion because we all have feelings that need to be expressed. We need to mourn. But that doesn’t mean that losing people is a negative thing. It all depends on what we’re leaving behind.

People knew what Steve was passionate about. They knew the effects that he was having on his community. He wasn’t shy about it. In fact, he was quite the opposite, it seems. So much so that after he died, people made it a point to keep spreading the same message he was spreading on his own.

When it’s time for me to either leave this world or leave my current community, I want it to be better off. Not because of what I did while I was here, but because of the aftermath. Am I living my life in such a way that’s going to have a lasting impact on my community? Our legacies should be greater than our lives. When someone moves on, it’s always hard. But the aftermath should always be better. At least that’s what I want for myself. The question I’m asking myself now is “Am I living in such a way my ‘transition’ will be for the better?” Because if it’s not, then I need to seriously change my approach to life. 

[frombaytobillings]

From Theology to Worship

I’ve been a worship leader for about 13 years now. In that time, I’ve noticed that people sometimes get pegged in a particular way in the church. For example, I have probably been asked to speak or teach about worship than any other subject. Why? Because if I’m the worship leader, that must be what’s always on my heart. It’s true. I do love to worship the Lord. However, I think there’s an underlying reasoning behind this than merely a love to worship. I love to worship because I love the person I’m worshipping. Today, as I was reading Psalm 103, I started thinking about worship and how, when it really comes down to it, it is a direct reflection of our relationship with God. Our philosophy of worship (whether we are intent to think about it or not) is dictated by our theology.

Psalm 103 was written by David and the entire thing is about blessing the Lord. There are a ton of psalms all about what God has done for Him and others and reasons to worship, but this particular one is purposed for His glory. There isn’t much about David himself except that he commands his own soul and all that is within him to bless the Lord. 

A lot of our favorite worship songs these days are about what the Lord has done for us or how He makes us feel or act. I’m not hating on that whatsoever. We should praise Him for what He has done for us. It’s biblical. But do we love the songs that have nothing to do with us? If I listed my favorite 20 worship songs, would there be any that were written for no other reason than to lift Him up? I ask this because I don’t want my praise to be dependent on what He has done for me. I want it to come from a place of holy, awe-inspired, glory. I want to read about who He is and what His character is like and respond accordingly. I want to think about Him enthroned above all the heavens and the earth and be humbled enough to remove myself from the equation - from the song. I want to hear about His undying, steadfast love, mercy, and forgiveness and wonder He could be so good. I want to look around at all of creation and marvel at His greatness.

Again, I’m not saying anything negative about responding in gratitude to the things He has done for us. I will personally never stop doing that. I just don’t want all of my worship to include my name in the subject line. He deserves plenty of songs without me in them. That is what I love so much about the song How Great Is Our God. From a musical perspective, it’s almost as easy and simple as a song could ever be. From a lyrical perspective, it’s as elementary as any adult worship song. Yet, it might the most powerful worship song of our generation (judge that however you would like). I believe the reasoning behind that is that every line in the song sings about nothing but the greatness of God. It is a call for everyone to see and sing about how great He truly is. The same goes for 10,000 Reasons. Even though This Is Amazing Grace sings about what He has done for us, it is rooted in the fact that God is so great, so powerful, and so amazing that it’s humbling that He would even think about us. 

I have heard a lot of people talk about not “feeling God” in the midst of worship. I get that. I’ve been there. But the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve been able to understand that my worship has nothing to do with my feelings. My worship shouldn’t have anything to do with what it does for me. I shouldn’t praise God for my own benefit. Granted, there are often personal benefits from worshiping the Lord, but that is because there are benefits for being in His presence. Those shouldn’t be the reason we sing. They are merely the consequences because that’s how much He loves us and longs to bless us. 

I love the line in Open Up The Skies by Deluge that says, “We don’t want blessings. We want You.” Let’s be honest. We all want blessings. But the point of this is the reasoning. In the same way that we shouldn’t be singing because of our own feelings, but because of who He is, we shouldn’t be in a relationship with God because we only want His blessings. How selfish is that? We should be in a relationship because we want Him. That’s why I believe that our own philosophy of worship is dictated by our theology. Are we worshiping because of us or because of who He is?

I want His greatness, His sovereignty, His character, and His steadfast love to be the cause of my praise and worship. I want that to be the reason I sing. I want my desire to lead worship to be driven by the need for others to see Him for who He truly is. 

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!” - Psalm 103:1

[frombaytobillings]

Further Proof Not Required; Only Memory.

In the Disney/Pixar movie, “Inside-Out,” there is a scene where Joy and Sadness are wandering about the memory bank of teenage Riley. This is one of my favorite scenes (and one of the only scenes I actually remember, though I loved the movie) because it shows how our memory changes over time. There are somethings we learned that we don’t need to remember anymore, so we toss them. Then there are also random things that we never forget for whatever reasons. What this scene also portrays is our limited capacity to remember everything in life. In order to make room for new memories, we must forget about others.

We live in a world today where memory is short. With the use of the internet and social media, there is always something new to play, watch, read, or study. Before this past 2016 NBA Finals, it seemed like everyone had forgotten that LeBron James (who I’m not a fan of) was still the best basketball player on the planet. Why? Because all the new hype was about Steph Curry and his Golden Boys in the Bay Area. While this is only a small NBA example, a lot of us forget how good something was until something again reminds us of it. Sometimes I forget just how good the Lord of the Rings trilogy is until I watch them again (or the Band of Brothers HBO series).

In Psalm 95, the psalmist spends most of his time lifting up praises to God. Why? Because He’s worthy of it. There is nothing in the first few verses that talks about a specific personal act that beckons this praise. He simply sees God for who He is and gives Him all the glory for it. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget this. I’m ashamed to say that there hasn’t been a lot of times where I’ve lifted up praises to God without relating it to myself in any way. That tells me that most of my worship is based in what He’s done for me rather than who He is Himself. While responding to what He’s done is not a negative thing by any means, it shouldn’t be the only reason why we praise Him. He was worthy of glory and honor long before I ever came around. In fact, He was worthy before any human being was created.

In verse 6, the psalmist begins to add a human element to this song. He calls for others to worship and bow down, “For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand” (v. 7). However, it doesn’t stop there. This moves into a psalm of remembrance. 

“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts, as at Mariah, as on the day at Massah in the wilderness, when your fathers put me to the test an put me to the proof, though they had seen my work” (v. 7-9).

Israel had once forgotten what God was capable of. They had forgotten who He was and what He could do. They had forgotten what had already been proven to them. That’s what I think is so great about this psalm and that is starts with so much praise. It leads into this call to never forget about Him. The psalmist doesn’t want us to fall into the trap that Israel fell into so long ago. The Lord doesn’t need to prove Himself worthy of our praise. He’s already done that. He did that before the earth was ever created.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a person that makes God have to prove Himself again. That’s how Israel spent forty years wandering the wilderness before most of them died. I want to give Him all the glory because He deserves it, not because He blessed me with a better material possession or situation in life. If those happen, I will definitely give thanks, but that won't be the cause of my praise. I want to lift Him up because, as the psalmist says, 

“For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land” (v. 3-5).

[frombaytobillings]

Wisdom in the Temporary

I am temporary. Therefore, I am wise. 

So maybe that’s not exactly how it works, but still, there is wisdom in the temporary. At least that’s the perspective that Moses seems to take. I find it interesting that in Psalm 90, he writes about the contrast between God the eternal and us finite humans. 

“For a thousand years in your sight are but yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.” (v. 4)

“The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away.” (v. 10)

One of the things that intrigues me about this is that we, as humans, don’t always tend to think in the temporary. Without intention, we assume our time here is forever. Only the Lord remains eternal. 

“Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.” (v. 2)

I was just thinking the other day about how our country is only a few hundred years old. When you compare that to most of the Eastern Hemisphere, we are a baby nation. They have been around for several millennia. Yet, even in our infancy, we have tales from generations ago. My grandpa was alive during the Great Depression and World War II. My parents were born just after the Korean War and lived during Vietnam. I remember watching the second aircraft strike the World Trade Center and seeing the consequent tumbling. The middle school students in our youth group weren’t even alive for that.

All that to say, time doesn’t slow down for anyone. We would be wise to remember that our time here on earth is short. We don’t have eternity to make a difference. We have a very limited number of days. 

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” (v. 12)

Moses understood that a heart of wisdom came from knowing that our days our numbered. There is an urgency in that. It forces us to get off our butts and do something. I don’t want to wait around and miss something that God might be calling me to do. I don’t want to become content in watching life fly by. I only get a certain number of days to live out all God has for me and all that He wants to do through me. It would be wise for me to remember that each and every day that I am alive.

“Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.” (v. 14)

One of my greatest worries and fears is that I will wake up five or ten years from now and wonder what I did with all that time. Life moves by too quickly to be stagnant. If God is constantly working and moving, shouldn’t my life reflect that as well? I’m not saying that God is always calling everyone to literally move all over the place in every other season, but at the same time, would we even be open to that? Are we taking life as it comes or are we seeking Him out in a way that allows us to be flexible with His call?

The first time Holly taught at MERGE (our middle school ministry), she mentioned that there hasn’t been a single time in her life when she’s regretted doing something that God had called her to do, but there has been times when she’s regretted not doing something He wanted her to do. I’ll never forget that because I could identify with it. God is moving and I want to move with Him. That’s as wise as a decision that I could possibly make and it comes from knowing that I only have a limited time to do it.

[frombaytobillings]

You Alone Are God

That’s such a simple statement. It’s also the most profound declaration I’ve ever come across. 

In Psalm 86, David writes, 

“There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours. All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name. For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God.” (v. 8-10)

I’ve been making that last statement for as long as I can remember. It’s the truth and I frequently echo that reality. It’s an easy declaration to make. It’s short. It’s simple. It’s easy to remember. And it’s littered in a hundred songs. Alas, I am a simple human and my thoughts and actions don’t always reflect the truth that’s in my brain.

I know that the Lord alone is God. I also know that my heart desires to worship other gods. I love the Lord. I also love movies, television, and sports. In fact, I probably dedicate a lot more of my time and attention towards those realms of entertainment than I do the Lord. Are those things bad? Not in and of themselves. But if they become idolized, then it’s wrong. They distract me from seeking out the creator of the universe - the one who died for my freedom. Movies, television, and sports are not the only things that do this, but I think those are things that are common in our society. We can even add all forms of social media to the list. 

If I believe that the Lord truly is God alone, shouldn’t my life reflect that? Would distraction even be possible? Wouldn’t everything I do be for His glory and His glory alone? After all, if He alone is God, then He alone is worthy of all the honor, all the glory, and all the praise. All of it. There is none like Him and no one compares to Him. That statement is declaring that no one or nothing else is worthy of our worship and adoration. 

Lord, You alone are God. Please help me live in a way that reflects that truth. Just as David prayed in verses 11-12, teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.

“You alone are God. We declare the glory of Your Name. Reign in all the earth, Jesus.” - Ben Fielding, Reuben Morgan; You Alone Are God

[frombaytobillings]

Choosing Freedom

You can learn a lot if you let yourself. That’s something I’ve been learning lately. There really isn’t much in life that we can’t learn from. We, as humans in general, make the mistake of forgetting that. We tend to adopt this veteran mindset that says that we can’t learn from rookies or from those with less experience. I’m glad that’s not true, though, because I don’t want an excuse to write something off. Today, as I was scrolling through my tumblr feed, I came across a post from a teenager who was twelve years old when I moved out of California. And she dropped some truth bombs that I needed to hear (or read, either way). 

She was talking about guilt and shame when she said this:

“I have also learned that when Jesus is your center, those things cannot coexist. because He fought for my freedom - and where freedom is - guilt is demolished. the Enemy loves to use these two things, because it stirs up insecurity, vulnerability, and tries to take back freedom I have already claimed. He loves to try to pull down those deep, inward struggles Jesus has already nailed down when he wen’t to the cross.”

There’s so much truth to that. Guilt and shame stir up our insecurities, shake our vulnerability, and hinder us from accepting the freedom that Christ paid for. They take our eyes off of the freedom we have in Christ and turn our attention towards our shortcomings When that happens, we fail to see God’s love and grace, and instead, we downplay our ability to be used by God in great ways. I don’t know about you, but I’ve written myself off a lot over the past couple years. I’ve carried the weight of my struggles and sins and failed to leave them on the cross where they belong. 

I believe part of the enemy’s plan of attack for Christians isn’t necessarily to take our eyes off of God, but to make us focus on only a small portion of Him. This is why it is always so much easier to focus on the wrath and anger of God than it is on His undying love and grace. That’s why we beat ourselves up. That’s why we let guilt and shame rule our lives at times. I know that’s true of me. There have been times where I’ve written myself off because I figured God had. That didn’t result in me disbelieving in God, but it did cause me to embrace religion over a loving, free relationship.

This high school student made a profound statement that “freedom is a lifestyle.” It’s something that we have to choose everyday until it is embedded in our minds. There is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:1). Even at the very heart of the gospel, condemnation is traded for love. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned...” (John 3:16-18a)

We (you and I both) are not condemned. We are loved. Jesus Christ has paid the price for our salvation and freedom. It’s there. We can’t afford to write ourselves off in guilt and shame. We need to embrace God’s love and grace, and live in the freedom that comes in Him. If God hasn’t written us off, then why should we? Don’t wallow on the bench. Get back in the game. We have more to offer than we think.

[frombaytobillings]

Processing

You may or may not know this, but I love movies. In fact, my imagination usually moves through my mind in cinematic form. Come to think of it, maybe I don’t really have much of an imagination. Maybe I only have a good memory of movies and shows that I’ve watched that replay in my head whenever the situation calls for it. That’s beside the point, though. Let me try to get back on track.

This past week, I went to a leadership conference in Southern California with Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. We had two lectures each day with some intense group processing in between those. The processing groups are where we essentially help each other overcome personal obstacles that are keeping us from achieving the full potential of what God has for us. It was absolutely phenomenal. The lectures were incredible and full of researched and very applicable information. Yet, as I’m looking back on the mental/emotional overload that took place throughout the week, I’m having a hard time actually remembering a lot of the lectures (good thing I took notes). What I do remember, though, is the group that God placed me in during our time there. This probably sounds quite vague and confusing for you and that’s just the point (and leads me back to movies). 

Band of Brothers and Lord of the Rings are two of my favorite series and both of them end in a similar fashion. They both show the characters together with an unspoken bond that they can’t explain to anyone else who wasn’t a part of it. The older I get, the more I begin to realize that we can share stories with each other, but we can’t properly convey experiences. There aren’t words that adequately communicate them. That’s why so many people stop and say, “You had to be there.”

So here I am sitting in my coffee shop on an average Monday in Billings Montana, while the rest of my group is spread out among both the Atlantic and the Pacific (both sides of the Pacific, actually), and I wish that I could be with each of them to process everything we went through together. Alas, I am not. But as I think more about our week together, the theme of restoration comes into mind.

Everybody has mental and emotional roadblocks in their lives. Sometimes it takes a lot of digging to recognize them, but they are there. They manifest themselves in various insecurities and they hold us back from being who God has created us to be. He didn’t create those insecurities. Sin did. But they are still present in each of us. This week was about restoring each other back to a place of love, grace, confidence, and purpose in the Lord. In Psalm 80, Asaph is telling of how various nations have been coming in and plucking the fruit of Israel. He sounds tired and confused as to why God has let this happen to them, yet three separate times through the psalm, he says, “Restore us, O Lord God of hosts; let your face shine, that we may be saved!” 

I’ve let the enemy come in a pluck my joy, strength, love, and praise for far too long. I know I’m not the only one who has, either. Maybe you’re reading this and I would pray that God would be revealing to you some areas in your life where you’ve let the enemy come in and steal your joy and sense of purpose. Maybe you think that you’ve made too many mistakes and God doesn’t love you anymore or that He can’t use you anymore. Those are lies straight from the devil. The Lord is waiting for us to call out as Asaph did for restoration. And when we do that, He is faithful to respond. 

I’m so thankful for the friends I made this past week. God used them to speak into my life in powerful ways and I’ll never forget that. They’ll probably never read this so I’ll have to find other ways to say this, but in case any of them do...

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

[frombaytobillings]

Ungrateful Children

Yeah! I’m talking about YOUR kids! Just kidding. I’m talking about myself... and well, probably you at times, too.

In Psalm 78, Asaph recounts the works of the Lord in Israel. I think we’re all familiar with the story of how God brought them out of Egypt and slavery and into the Promised Land (you know, the whole plagues and stuff. “Let my people go!” etc). If you aren’t, go watch Prince of Egypt (or read the bible. either way). Anyways...

As Asaph is recalling this great thing that the Lord had done for them, I would think that it would be a song of great joy, yet I find myself a little more embarrassed and ashamed. Why? (great question!) Because it shows the reality of how we, as human beings, tend to react to the Lord. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that every human always acts this way all the time, but it is in our nature if we’re not constantly making sure we have the right perspective.

Verses 16-18 sum this up quite well:

“He made the streams come out of the rock and caused waters to flow down like rivers. Yet they sinned still more against him, rebelling against the Most High in the desert. They tested God in their heart by demanding the food they craved.”

“They tested God in their heart by demanding the food they craved.” That’s pretty bold. Israel had just seen all the great works of the Lord. They experienced the plagues. They saw the parting of the Red Sea and how it collapsed on their enemies. They witnessed water gushing from a rock. Yet in the midst of the miraculous, they demanded the food they craved. 

Ungrateful children.

I was talking to someone a while back about a situation where someone was desperate for healing for a loved one and went as far as to say that they would turn away from God if that person was not healed. In this conversation, the question was brought up that if God never did any other thing for us outside of the cross, would we still be grateful? Is that enough of a reason for us to praise God? Is our salvation enough of a reason to be thankful?

The answer is that it should be, but the reality is that our minds and hearts don’t always comply. Just as Israel did thousands of years ago, we tend to demand more of what we crave. It could be anything, really. For some it may be financial. For others it may be relational. Whatever it may be, do we let those things get in the way of our gratitude? Let me clarify: I believe that it is important for us to ask the Lord of the things we need and/or want, but it is another thing to let that determine our praise. Israel could have asked the Lord for meat, but they didn’t. They grumbled, complained, and demanded. And in the midst of that, they lost sight of the provision, the power, and the salvation of the Lord.

I don’t ever want to get to the point that I lose sight of what God has already done and continues to do in my life. Jesus died on the cross for my salvation. That’s all I need to respond in praise and gratitude. He doesn’t owe me anything. He has promised to supply for my needs and I will do my part to walk in the light of those promises. I am not entitled to further blessings and that realization is what allows me to be grateful. I encourage you to respond the same way.

[frombaytobillings]

Appropriate Fear

As both a nerd and an avid San Antonio Spurs fan, I tend to do a lot of research on the team. That doesn’t mean that I dig into the vaults and relive the ABA days of the team, but I do watch a lot of videos of interviews and press conferences. I also read a lot of articles about them and their athletic endeavors. Why am I telling you this? Because it’s my blog and I can! More importantly, because there is this certain phrase that Coach Popovich likes to use, especially when it comes to playoff time. 

“Appropriate Fear.”

This means to have a certain level of respect and awe towards who you’re playing so that you don’t take anything for granted or try to ride a wave of false momentum toward an opponent. It is knowing what they are capable of and letting that fear help drive you to be as prepared as you possibly can - physically, schematically, strategically, mentally, emotionally, etc. It’s a great piece of advice that has worked well over the years for his veteran bunch.

In Psalm 76, Asaph writes, “But you, you are to be feared! Who can stand before you when once your anger is roused? ... Make your vows to the Lord your God and perform them; let all around him bring gifts to him who is to be feared, who cuts off the spirit of princes, who is to be feared by the kings of the earth.” (v. 7, 11-12)

They had just seen God’s power. That was the context for this. There wasn’t any denying what they had just seen and experienced. They were struck with awe and here, Asaph is telling them to respond with appropriate fear. Unfortunately, that’s something that seems to slip my mind far too often and I have to think I’m not the only one that happens to.

There is a vast difference between knowing something and letting it drive you to action. I know that God is all-powerful. I have some understanding of what He is capable of. Yet, does that drive me towards some particular action or does it stop at a thought? I don’t want to be someone who knows a lot about the Lord in the same way that I know a lot about the Spurs. I want to experience the awe that beckons change. I want my whole life and being to change as a response to the power of the Lord. Maybe then, will I fear Him more than people. Maybe then, I will surrender to His will over pleasing others. And maybe then I will listen for His voice over the masses. 

Lord, please open my eyes to see Your power and Your glory on display. I know that You are all around me. I want to be in awe of You. I want to have that appropriate fear, knowing what You are capable of.

[frombaytobillings]

Trust > Understanding

At the very beginning of Psalm 74, Asaph writes, “O God, why do you cast us off forever?” It’s a valid question, really. He goes on to explain how their enemies have destroyed their sanctuaries: “Direct your steps to the perpetual ruins; the enemy has destroyed everything in the sanctuary! Your foes have roared in the midst of your meeting place; they set up their own signs for signs.” (v. 3-4) He later goes on to detail the power of God displayed through creation. Asaph praises Him before again pleading with the Lord to save them.

There are a number of psalms in which the authors ask God questions of the “How long?” or “Why?” nature. I find it interesting, though, that we only get the privilege of reading the human side of things. In the book of Job, people cry out and the Lord responds. In the psalms, we read the cries, but that’s all we get.

Honestly, I love that. I love the tension of not getting to know how He responded. Why? Because I’m human and I don’t always get to know the answers in my life. It gets frustrating, for sure, but that’s the beauty of the Lord. His ways are higher. His knowledge is endless. And I need to trust in that more than I need to understand it. 

I’ve learned that there is so much freedom in that. I think as people, we tend to believe that freedom lies in understanding. Granted, it is easier to go along with a plan when you understand it. But when we trust God without knowing the answers, we allow ourselves to live without worry and stress. Let’s say your kids are playing in the front yard and you see a bad hail storm approaching, so you tell your kids to come inside. If they are trusting, obedient kids, they will do it without needing to know why. You, as a wise parent, have just protected them without them even realizing it. Not only that, but they don’t have to live with the worry of what could have happened otherwise. Your child doesn’t have to be afraid to go outside at all because he might die in a bad hailstorm at any moment. He doesn’t have to have that anxiety. Eventually, he will grow up and in time, understand the situations and why he should come inside, just as we usually get to see God’s reasonings in hindsight.

Maybe that’s a horrible analogy. I don’t know. That’s all I can think up at this moment. The point is that when we truly trust God with our lives, we don’t need to know the answers. We don’t have to stop and wait for the reasons. We can go confidently, knowing that God is sovereign, powerful, wise, and loving. He’s not going to tell us to go somewhere and leave us high and dry. Direction and obedience are vital. Understanding is not. I want to live with that trusting willingness to move, even when I don’t know why. And if things seem bleak, I will trust in His character and promises. He will provide. I don’t have to know how. 

[frombaytobillings]

Showing Loyalty to the Next Generation

The other day, I came across this video by Francis Chan talking about leading your family into an adventure with God. In it, he mentions how he thinks the reason so many kids grow up and leave the church is because they were never shown the true power of God in a way that affected their families. In other words, so many families do everything they can to provide for their children. They have large savings accounts and provide nice houses in nice neighborhoods with nice private schools. There is nothing wrong with that. However, children see that and their dependency in life is on their possessions and their parents’ provision. Compare that to the other side of the spectrum where a child grows up in an environment where God has to provide. There are families out there who God calls to have an adventure with and sometimes those adventures get a little scary and they are forced to rely on God to provide. Those children grow up seeing firsthand the power that God has and His ability to provide everything we need. They are the ones most likely to hold onto their relationship with God because they have experienced life with Him in an undeniable way. 

That sparked a couple different conversations that I’ve had with other people. My wife and I want that adventure with God. Granted, we also want the nice house and neighborhood, etc. I’m not saying that they are mutually exclusive, but the questions is about our willingness to discern. It is one thing to give $100 to a cause if we feel the Lord tells us to. It is another to actively engage with Him to see what else He might be wanting us to do. We don’t want to sit comfortably and watch our live progress while in the back of our minds, wonder if there’s anything we missed out on because we weren’t intentional about seeking the Lord in our plans.

Isn’t that where our loyalty should lie, anyways? I consider myself a loyal person. As long as I’m here, I’m giving it my all. But there’s a higher loyalty in my reasoning. I’m not necessarily loyal to Montana. I’m not necessarily loyal to Word of Life and the staff within. However, I am loyal to God, and as long as He tells me to be somewhere or do something, I’m going to do it with all my heart. If I didn’t, that would be a disservice and unfaithful worship towards Him. I don’t want to get into a place where I’m so set on my own ideas and plans that I allow myself to replace my loyalty to the Lord. Unfortunately, I think that happens all too often.

We make decisions based on conventional wisdom, finances, family, etc. Those are definitely things to consider when making decisions. But are we listening to those things more than we’re listening to what God is saying? I don’t think it made a lot of sense for me to move out here to Montana, but I did it because that’s what God said to do. He’s provided me with a great wife, family, and community of friends in the process. How nonsensical would it be for me to then shut down the thought that He might want me to go somewhere else and do something else in the future?

David says this in Psalm 71:17-18,

“O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.”

I don’t want my comfortable life or even Sunday morning church to be my children’s experience with God. I want to have an adventure that causes them to see Him move firsthand. I want the next generation to see His might and all those to come to see His power. I want to be available to whatever He may call us to do - not just a willingness when I hear Him speak, but to actively seek out what His plan may be. I don’t even want this just so that my kids can see it. I want it so that I can see it myself. I want to be willing to be an Abraham, Elijah, David, Samuel, Paul, etc. My biggest fear is that I would let my comfort or other loyalties get in the way. 

Lord, lead me on. I want to be used in whatever way You want to use me. Show myself and my family what life with You is really like. And help me to be loyal and faithful to You above all else. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

[frombaytobillings]

Do We Marvel?

Some of my favorite moments in ministry happen to be some of the most unplanned occurrences. The times when we’re called to think deeper based on a conversation being had. The stories and testimonies we hear that cause us to shift our perspectives and change our paradigms. Those moments, to me, are more profound and life-altering than the best of lectures and sermons. I recently got the privilege of having one of those conversations with someone the other day. It was after a service just ended and we were simply hanging out and talking in my office. There was a question that was brought up that night and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around it since then: 

Do we still marvel at God?

I can only speak for myself when regarding this topic, just as you are the only one who can answer for yourself. Do I love the Lord? Absolutely! Am I serving Him? Of course! But do I marvel at Him? When I am worshipping with a body of believers, when I read new things in Scripture, when I hear the testimonies of others - does He blow my mind? Am I standing in constant amazement at all the things He has done and continues to do? Do I gaze upon His works and His person with complete astonishment? I think things would be different if I truly did.

There are times when I am envious of those who lived in the days of the Bible (it doesn’t last very long, but still). Israel saw the parting of the Red Sea, the fall of Jericho, and manna fall from heaven. Disciples go to see the healing of the blind, the casting out of demons, the feeding of thousands, and most of all, the resurrected Christ. Those are things you marvel at. When you hear about those things as well as the miracles that were done after Pentecost, it is easy to see how Christianity was spread so fervently about the region. They just witnessed the most heinous of deaths and saw the same man alive and well a couple days later.

The thing about marveling is that it induces chatter. It stirs passion and passion creates conversation. I talk about certain movies (speaking of marvel), sporting events, and concerts because in my opinion, they were awesome and I had to tell someone about it. I even play the tape back either in my head or on screen. There’s a reason people pay so much money a year to witness people or events. Let’s take golden boy Steph Curry, for example. People who can’t afford to are still spending their money at the chance to see Curry play basketball. They’ve heard the stories. They’ve seen the replays and highlights. And now they want to experience it for themselves. So, they show up hours before a game to watch him dribble and shoot from all over the court (and I really mean EVERYWHERE!). Then... they marvel. And days later (or even years), they sit back and say, “I saw Steph Curry play basketball.” “I was there.” “I witnessed it.” 

In psalm 70:4, David writes, “May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you! May those who love your salvation say evermore, ‘God is great!’”

Salvation is astonishing. The unconditional, sacrificial love of the Lord is mind-blowing. The fact that God sent His only Son to die for us so that we could spend eternity with Him is astounding. The sovereign power of the Lord most high simply unfathomable. But do we notice it? Do we recognize the ever-present greatness that is constantly before us? Are we seeking the Lord and anticipating an encounter with Him as much as we are seeking out and anticipating a movie, sporting event, or concert? Do we have the desire to marvel at the King of the universe as much as we desire to marvel at humans among us?

As I said before, I can only answers these for myself and you can only answer them for you. But if we’re not asking ourselves these types of questions, then we can so simply and so easily forget the greatness of the Lord and the joy that comes in His salvation. I want to get excited about the holiness, sovereignty, power, love, mercy, forgiveness, creativity, deliverance, peacefulness, joy, grace, faithfulness, righteousness, glory, wisdom, and provision of the Living God to the point where I have to tell someone about it. I want to replay it in my head. I want to be in awe of the memories experienced and stir in anticipation for what’s next.

I want to marvel at the Lord.