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@buddienetwork​ event: Straightmundo Diaz

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'there isn't a locked room anywhere, that with the right tools and enough time, you can't break into' vs 'i don't want to break down the door, i want him to open it'

buck who won't quit if he senses something is wrong with eddie. buck who gets that itch in his brain that makes him keep going until he has figured something out. he will keep working on eddie until he chisels a big enough crack in the wall that he can squeeze himself in (s5a panic attacks, 'if something is wrong, you need to tell me'). but if the situation calls for it, he will use every tool in his arsenal to get into a locked room if he needs to. he'll break down doors without a care in the world (s5b, ptsd) he is constantly applying pressure to eddie's repression until eddie lets him in

versus eddie doesn't want to break down the door, he wants to be invited in. he doesn't care if buck is having a positive or negative reaction, he doesn't care if buck is mad at him, he just doesn't want to be shut out. he just wants buck to talk to him. and when he does have to force himself in, eddie loses it a bit (see both s8 fights. 'if you are pissed off, be pissed off!') he wants buck to talk to him and feel safe coming to him. (ie buck feeling too coddled after the lightning, and eddie waiting for buck to come to him to process)

i love how their communication theses are almost the complete opposite, but how perfectly they complement each other.

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evan buckley + ADHD

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chim’s got some new bling

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good news i'm the most fuckable person at this vehicular manslaughter

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wonder and awe: a buddie comic

(1/?)

(also included an alternate version for the mustache eddie lovers below!)

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crazy that eddie brought home chris and tía pepa to remind buck he has a family who loves him, and then pepa encouraged buck to embrace change so he tried to leave the 118. i need this to come up when buck is distancing himself next season like

buck: i’m just trying to embrace change! like pepa told me to!

eddie: so my aunt, who calls you evancito and treats you like my wife, told you to embrace change, and you interpreted that to mean you should move out of our house and into a separate apartment, which is the same way we were living for years?

buck: um. well it’s—it’s not—

eddie: there are SO many actual changes that you could embrace. like getting a new tattoo or getting rid of your awful couch or actually verbally responding when i say beautiful earnest things to you or kissing me on the mouth—i’m just spitballing here, feel free to interrupt me if—mmph

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Can't stop thinking about Eddie Diaz going to therapy and working his ass off while screaming and kicking to undo all the repression he's been living in for the past 30 years. I don't want him just to blur out, "I'm gay," and move on with his life as if it's not that big of a deal. He's an explosive man, but he also lived his entire life under such immense pressure, so I think his journey of self-discovery should be a quieter one. Let Eddie Diaz pick up stereotypically feminine hobbies like crocheting or embroidering because now that his father is not breathing down his neck, nobody can tell him that it's stupid or girly or "Edmundo if you're not the best at something, don't do it." Let Eddie Diaz paint his nails or wear brighter colors and softer fabrics because now that his mother is not breathing down his neck, nobody can tell him that "You're spending too much time with your sisters, Edmundo" or "It's not normal for a guy to only have female friends". Let Eddie Diaz find comfort in stuffed animals or careful touches because now nobody can tell him "Diaz men don't cry" or "You need to be a rock for your family". Let Eddie Diaz cry and mourn the child he could've been but who was smothered by his parents' demands. Let Eddie Diaz breathe with his full chest without the sickening weight of fear and anxiety for once in his goddamn life.

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praying for s9 to double down on the eddieshannon parallels and have buck tell eddie that he's finally found a place and is moving out, and for eddie to spend the episode wondering just why he feels like his chest is caving in until everything clicks into place when buck gets hit by a car right in front of his eyes

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love the idea of eddie having a Feelings Realisation but still being a little concerned that he might not be into men sexually, like the actual practicality of that, and he doesn't want to risk hurting buck by confessing and then realising that maybe he's not really into it. he couldn't do that to him. but he also doesn't really want to date a bunch of men to find out, because he's just realised he's in love with his best friend and he's not sure he can put that aside long enough to get really into it with another guy. so instead he's letting himself Look at men, consciously, for the first time in his life. he's looking and he's imagining and he's not shying away from it. he's trying to work out how he feels about the reality of it, instead of instinctively pushing it down like he's starting to suspect he's been doing for an awful long time.

meanwhile buck has clocked the way eddie's been contemplatively checking out every guy in the vicinity and he's collapsing in on himself like a dying star

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Happy pride to them!!

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listen listen listen— post-lightning. eddie is scared, so utterly terrified, unable to physically move (except for basic needs) for days, until buck wakes up and the moment he does, eddie takes a sigh of relief and then proceeds to hide for hours and hours in the gym where he starts heavy lifting, like double the weight he’s used to lift, and this goes on and on and on, and buck notices that there’s something wrong with his best friend, he needs to take just one look at eddie to just know. he doesn’t know what, tho. and he finds out one day, when bobby calls him because somehow eddie got hurt on a call and that has something to do with the heavy weights eddie was lifting before they left the firehouse. and buck prods and prods and prods until eddie crumples and breaks down completely. and you know what? he is doing it because he wasn’t able to lift buck up, and is convinced that it’s his fault that buck had to be hanging over the ladder for so long and— buck literally stops breathing for a second, because wow, there’s so much to unpack, but he’s going to kiss eddie first. then they’ll go from there.

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Eddie: I love you

Buck, taking out an earbud: sorry, what did you say?

Eddie, panicking: I uh- I said I wanna fuck you

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Hen: How was your 1st official Father's day, Buck?

Ravi: Why official? Wait, did you get Eddie pregnant?

Eddie: Ravi, a month of sewer rescues are calling your name right now.

Buck: Official because Chris asked me to adopt him, and honestly Hen it was a lot of crying.

Chim: And a lot of food, I saw those bbq pics. You went all out.

Eddie: Buck wanted to recreate the Diaz parrillada, and he did it perfectly.

Buck: Also, I can finally use this old clipboard full of dad jokes on Chris that I got from Bobby. I get to make dad jokes now and make him cringe 24/7. Life is great.