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[fromsko]

⛓ BANG CHAN'S HANDS ~ A CONCEPT ⛓

[fromsko]

𝐝𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞・b.c.

— incurable playboy turned doting boyfriend was a character development arc nobody saw coming for christopher bang, including (especially) his frat brothers.

words・2.8k pairing・frat president!chris x gn!reader genres・fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, college!au, fuckboy!chris, boys being boys, kissing, implied sex so mdni warnings・substance use, talk of past heartbreak

a/n・here is "nobody believes you're dating" w/chan, requested by none other than my @rachalixie for my 2k event !! anny, i hope u love this fic as much as i love u; thank you for allowing me to write something so self-indulgent <3

In the deafening throes of one of Phi Mu Alpha’s spring kickbacks, Minho finds Jeongin and Seungmin standing in motionless silence by the kitchen counter. Both boys are gaping at something with an intensity that dips egregiously into the realm of creepy.

He moves to pour himself a shot. “What the fuck are you people looking at?”

Seungmin prods a pointer finger in the relevant direction. It takes a few seconds of scanning the scene for Minho to find what he’s referring to. He digs a knuckle into his eye, instantly confused by what he’s seeing. Maybe the gaping is justified.

The windows and doors have all been thrown open to invite the balmy April weather into the foyer of the frathouse. There’s a large crowd of people huddled around a long, foldable table stationed before the stairs; Jaehyun clutches a ping-pong ball between his fingers, singular eye squinted shut as he takes aim. The number of remaining solo cups dwindles rapidly, as does the players’ sobriety.

Something—someone—is missing.

Not to say “beer pong virtuoso” was one of the reasons Chris was elected frat president, but you’d think the guy had a career path in basketball with how he’s given the entire Greek life community alcohol poisoning by courtesy of two or three plastic balls alone. Minho has never known him to miss a shot, let alone miss out on a game.

Today, however, the reigning champion is only spectating, seated above the ongoing match on one of the steps of the main staircase.

A beautiful stranger is sitting beside him, cheek pressed to his shoulder as you peer at the match through the bannister.

You say something inaudible. The laugh it earns from Chris is bright enough to pick up from a few streets down. He leans in to murmur something in return, and you slide your hand over his nape to pull his mouth onto yours, light blush crawling up and over your ears. The way Chris melts into you can only be described as familiar, his eyes slowly fluttering shut, finger hooking delicately beneath your chin, grin going lopsided as your lips part—

“That’s enough,” Minho hisses, tearing his eyes away with considerable effort. “Aren��t you ashamed? Just fucking ogling.”

Jeongin shakes his head, grinning. “It’s dinner and a show. We’d be idiots not to.”

By dinner, he must mean the gallon of chocolate milk he’s been drinking from for the last hour. He now holds out said gallon with the intent to cheers. Seungmin picks up the entire handle and does the same.

Minho sighs, clinks his glass against theirs, and they throw back their respective refreshments in unison.

“Anywho.” Jeongin swipes the back of his hand over his mouth before going on. “You guys know who that is?”

Minho resurfaces with a wince, relishing in the bitter aftermath, then motions for Seungmin to give the bottle back straightaway. He arrived to the function late and he’s not nearly as drunk as he’d like to be.

Seungmin obliges Minho only after another heady swig. “No clue. Probably just another fling, no?”

“Mmm,” Jeongin hums in assent. “It’s Chris we’re talking about, after all.”

"Agreed. Case closed.”

There’s an air of finality in Seungmin’s voice—but Minho isn’t so sure.

Perhaps because he has never noticed that Chris had dimples until now; or because you fold so naturally into Chris' side after your kiss ends, head nuzzling against the crook of his neck and hand seeking out his to hold in your lap; or, most likely, because Chris' eyes seem to return to you when he looks at you, as if his gaze drifting anywhere else is but a momentary departure from where it really belongs. As if he comes home every time you come into his line of vision.

Whatever the reason, the idea coalesces in Minho’s mind, even as inebriation begins to fall over his cognitive faculties like a curtain, that the boys have got it wrong.

Jeongin utters his name, jolting him out of his trance. There’s another shot lifted halfway to Minho’s lips that hasn’t budged in minutes. “Whatcha thinking about?”

Minho looks at Jeongin first, Seungmin next, then back at Chris and his stunning companion. He’s not inclined to answer the question in full, but he can in truth. A coy smile crosses his face.

“Threesome?”

Jeongin laughs hard enough to collapse onto the kitchen island. Seungmin drags a hand down his face. “Come on, man.”

In the corner of his eye, you’ve gone back to kissing again, slow and sweet and secretive. Chris' gentle hold on your jaw shields you from view but fails to hide his lovesick smile. Dimly, Minho thinks that maybe his friend has met his match.

Then, he takes four shots in rapid succession—and stops thinking altogether.

Christopher Bang’s love life is like a horror movie and romcom spliced together: a fiasco of a film to which his housemates have front row seats.

The frat’s upperclassmen live in sets of four-bed, two-bath suites comprising a small common space with a kitchen and a sitting area, sandwiched by bedrooms on either side. It is in that common space that Changbin, Hyunjin, and Jisung often see or hear Chris stumbling home after a night out, entangled with a different attractive stranger every time—so often, in fact, that they’ve come to believe that he’s deathly allergic to anything bigger than a one-and-done hookup.

They can’t judge. In part because they’d be throwing stones from glass houses, but also because the man’s penchant for empty physicality is far from unfounded. His past self gave pieces of his heart to the wrong people, contracted first-degree burns from the guileless warmth he sought out. Now, his version of “intimacy” is less a connotation of closeness than it is a self-contradiction, for it should be impossible for so much distance to remain between two people in a single bed.

Chris hasn’t vocalized any of this. Nor have his housemates discussed it with each other. The knowledge simply exists in the air between the four of them like something akin to taboo, dipping in and out of acknowledgement depending on the circumstance.

This might be the circumstance of all time.

At around 11:40 A.M. on a Saturday, three doors in the suite open at once. Hyunjin and Changbin aren’t coincidence—the latter is coercing the former to go to the gym again—but they lift their eyes to the opposite side of the living room, and the slice of milk bread dangling from Hyunjin’s lips very nearly takes a fatal fall. Changbin manages to snatch it up with an extended hand.

Chris has just emerged from his room as well. Your silhouette follows close behind, your mouth stretching into a yawn as you massage the sleep from your eyes. You’re sporting a mesh green sweater identical to one Chris owns. They find Chris' accessories more interesting than his clothes, though: two hickeys peeking out from beneath his jaw and the base of his neck.

Chris sees Hyunjin and Changbin right away, and his expression goes utterly blank, not unlike their faces as they watch you close his door meticulously. You turn around and gasp.

The four of you stare at each other for what feels like multiple business days. At least, Hyunjin, Changbin, and Chris stare at each other; your eyes dart between the men on the other side of the room and the man next to you, silently pleading for him to say something. He does not for a long while.

Then, he lunges for one of the throw pillows on the couch and flings it at Hyunjin like a shot put. It ricochets off his chest and lands on the floor rather anticlimactically.

“Distraction!” Chris yells anyways, grabbing your hand and tearing towards the exit, wild grin on his face. “Go, go, go!”

Your raucous laughter lingers even after you’ve been hauled away, accompanied by an unintelligible, breathless shout of something along the lines of my toothbrush—and then the front door clicks shut, and there are two.

Changbin and Hyunjin lock eyes, struggling to process what just happened. Hyunjin is the first to move, wandering hesitantly into the bathroom that Chris and Jisung share. Nothing about the place looks out of the ordinary.

“Well, shit,” Hyunjin says out loud.

Aside from the two toothbrushes slotted in the holder on Chris' side of the counter, that is.

Something moves in the bathroom window, catching his attention. Hyunjin looks over just in time to spot you and Chris dart out onto the lawn two floors below. Chris has his arm draped over your shoulders, yours wrapped around his waist. Your smile is discernible all the way from here, and Hyunjin sees a perfect mirror of it on his friend’s face when Chris glances at the frathouse over his shoulder. 

Has he always had dimples?

Moments later, Changbin joins him in peering out the window. A high-pitched cackle erupts from the older boy’s lips. “Look at that idiot.”

Standing off to the left is a tiny, astonished Han Jisung, his arms full of groceries, jaw sitting squarely the grass and whites of his eyes on full display as he watches you and Chris stroll away.

Hyunjin laughs with his whole fucking body. Changbin whips out his phone and takes a picture.

When you finally breach the topic, it’s because you don’t think you can physically study for another minute—but also because, after multiple long months of fruitless sparring, your curiosity finally wins.

Your boyfriend is seated in your desk chair, feet kicked up onto your mattress with his laptop propped up on his thighs. His features have rearranged themselves into an expression of intense focus. You can hear the music blaring through his headphones from all the way here.

You uncross your legs from below you, scootch across your bed, and lift your hands to cradle his cheeks. He starts as if jolted out of a trance, then starts to smile when he reads the words hi, Channie off your lips.

His headphones fall around his neck. He sets his laptop down onto your desk with a dull thunk. The next thing to drop is you when Chris seizes you by the waist and tackles you into the mattress. The somber atmosphere of your study session is shattered by your muted laughter and Chris pressing his lips to every inch of your exposed skin he can. He saves your mouth for last.

“Hey, beautiful,” he answers after kissing the living daylights out of you, the syllables soft and silky with adoration. “Missed me?”

The room’s dim lightning sets your boyfriend aglow. You drag your eyes from his brown irises with blown pupils to his sloping nose, from his disheveled dark locks to his cordate lips, so plush and warm against your own that you swear you still feel them there. 

“Always,” you say, brushing a hand over the back of his neck, your head now spinning so badly you can barely remember what you wanted to ask him. “I was starting to feel jealous of your homework.”

He chuckles. “Shit, I’ll drop out of college right now, baby. Just say the word.”

“You’re perfect,” you hum, nudging the tip of your nose against his.

“Says you.”

Your lips find his again—needless to say, your study sessions aren’t known for their productivity—and a lot of time passes before you come up for air. Even afterwards, Chris doesn’t let you go far, pulling you into his chest by the curve of your waist, nuzzling his cheek into your hairline. You only need to murmur for him to hear your question.

“Can I ask you something?”

“'Course,” he returns, and you’re close enough to sense him tighten with apprehension. “Everything okay?”

“Yes. Don’t worry.” You print a kiss to the side of his neck for extra reassurance. “It’s just…I’ve been meaning to ask how your friends feel about me.”

He tightens with something else now: surprise, you’re guessing, hoping. You hadn’t seriously considered that the answer could be negative, but it’s dawning on you now that the possibility of that isn’t zero.

“Where’s this coming from?” Chris inquires, his tone opaque.

You hesitate, mentally reviewing your interactions with your boyfriend’s social circle. Hyunjin and Jisung can’t make eye contact with you when they speak to you. Minho does nothing but make eye contact with you whether he’s speaking to you or not. Jeongin and Seungmin can maintain small talk for about ten seconds before they start looking like they would rather be anywhere else. Changbin is the only one you’ve held a conversation with, and only because you were going up the same stairs at the same time and the alternative would have been mind-numbing silence.

What is the best way for you to say this?

“Well,” you begin, “I can’t help but notice that they act a little—when I’m around, they’re a bit, uh—”

“—crazy,” Chris offers. “Completely fucking bat-shit crazy.”

“Yes. Exactly that.”

Chris threads a hand through your hair, the comforting gesture doing nothing to assuage your worry. It seems there’s some truth behind your impressions. Your next words are tinged with a quiet sadness.

“I’m not imagining things, then?”

“No, angel,” he sighs. “But not for the reasons you think.”

A beat passes. Chris perceives your silence as a chance to backtrack, to opt out of this conversation if it’s one he’s not ready for. He would’ve leapt at the opportunity once.

But he realizes in that moment, with your voice gentle against his ears and your touch so doting upon his skin, how much has changed since he met you: from the color of the sky to the word home and everything in between, including his cynicism towards love and all the iterations of forever it holds. 

With that epiphany comes another, then another: he wants you to know why his friends are acting insane, wants you to know about him and his past and all the wounds of his you never know you healed, wants you to spend the rest of this forever with him.

His pointer finger dusts beneath your chin, a wordless request for you to look at him, and he nearly liquifies when you do and he finds entire constellations in your eyes. 

“It’s a lot,” he mumbles, though he suspects you know that already; he suspects you know about the other stuff, too. 

You bring your hand to the side of his face, bring your forehead to rest upon his. Your closeness washes over him like a low summer tide lapping over sandy shores, a soothing balm spreading over scorched flesh. 

“It’s you,” you whisper. “I will love it just the same.”

Chris' held breath comes out in shudders.

So this is warmth.

Minho and Felix are watching anime on the couch when a knock comes at their door, unfortunately during a pivotal moment of a pivotal episode. 

Minho hits pause with a ghastly groan. Felix laughs and rises to his feet, dashing into his room to grab the two silver necklaces he’ll be loaning out for the evening. “Coming!”

Outside, Chris is standing alone, hips and thighs accentuated by a pair of tight-fitting dress pants, sculpted chest and collarbones framed by a thin, cream-colored shirt with the top three buttons undone. Most of his hair has been pushed off his forehead, leaving a few locks free to fall over his right eyebrow. He’s rolling up his sleeves when Felix opens the door, veined forearms flexing as a result of the effort.

“Well?” He asks. Minho cranes his neck to look past Felix.

Both boys start to holler and whistle like excited macaques.

“What in the Calvin Klein is this?” Felix shouts, spinning Chris around by the shoulders. “You look insane, bro. Holy fuck.”

“What’s the occasion, young man?” Minho inadvertently sounds like a gruff uncle. “Where are you going dressed like that, huh?”

Chris' laugh comes easier nowadays. What’s more, it comes in a way that reaches the rest of him, that ends in a tiny, high squeak that you really have to look for in order to hear. Felix and Minho can't help but replicate his smile. Those clothes look good on him, yes, but happiness looks even better.

“You guys are silly,” Chris giggles. Dimples indent his cheeks as he accepts the necklaces from Felix. “Thanks, man. I’ll give ‘em back tomorrow.”

“No rush,” Felix replies, grinning. “Have fun, yeah?”

“We will.” Chris starts to retreat down the hallway, hands moving to clasp the jewelry around his neck, but not before he blows the both of them a kiss.

“Be back before ten!” Minho hollers; Chris laughs again, turns a corner, and disappears.

Felix closes the door. His smile falters fast. Minho has brought his face mere centimeters away, his expression thoroughly humorless.

“Tell me only the truth, Lee Yongbok,” he deadpans.

“O-okay—”

“Is Chris in a relationship?”

“—oh.” Felix frowns. “Well, yeah.”

Minho blanches. “How—how long?”

“One year, give or take? Anniversary’s today.”

Minho is stunned. Felix is stunned that Minho is stunned.

© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡

[fromsko]

BANG CHAN'S HANDS ~ A CONCEPT

[fromsko]

sobbing.

can’t get you off my mind

all good love stories start with a drunk stranger, don’t they?

warnings: mentions of alcohol, fem!reader

genre: fluff, comfort

word count: 4k

it starts at a bar. 

or really, it starts with a man at a bar. one that you’ve seen before in passing, a familiar face in a sea of more familiar faces. someone who you’ll later learn is one third of your best friend changbin’s production team, someone who you should have met years ago probably, someone who you would find is the perfect puzzle piece that fits into your jagged edges.

but right now, he is just a man at a bar with a beer in hand and a ridiculously dopey smile on his face. 

“marry me, please,” he says, absolutely serious but it’s a bit diluted from the way his words were slurred around the edges. “or i’ll have to kidnap you.”

“excuse me?” you raise a brow at him, his image swimming a bit as you turn your head to fully take him in. you’re not drunk, but youre a couple glasses of wine deep and you’re not known for being fully articulate whilst sober anyways. 

“i swear i’m going to marry you,” he says, eyes wide as he looks at you. “you might be the most perfect person i’ve ever seen.”

you’re not overly fond of men you haven’t met hitting on you, but this one seems a bit harmless. if you ignored the part where he said he would kidnap you. at least he wasn’t grabbing onto you or trying to touch you - that would have sent your fist flying towards his face and probably a swift exit from the bar. it was a little weird that you didn’t find him weird, but in retrospect you must have known, even then. 

“okay, listen,” you put your hands on your hips, giving him an unimpressed look. “if you find me when you’re sober, ask me again and maybe i’ll reconsider.”

“okay,” he nods, hair moving along with his movement like a puppy’s ears. “i can do that. i’ll find you, i promise. i’m gonna marry you, did you know?”

“so i’ve heard,” you roll your eyes, already feeling a bit fond about him. you didn’t think you’d meet him again, but you were sure that you’d look at this night with a fond smile later. 

he sends you the brightest smile you think you’ve ever seen on a person and scampers off, and you stand rooted to that one sticky spot in the bar for longer than you want to admit.

–

he’s in the back of your mind when you wake up the next morning, in a better mood than most - you never liked waking up early, it always took you a good hour and some coffee to be able to stand without grimacing. this morning though, you float around your apartment as you get dressed with a small smile on your face. 

a cute stranger who kept his boundaries and called you perfect? that wasn’t something that happened often, at least not to you. 

the floatiness followed you all the way through your morning routine until you found your feet stopping outside the coffee shop that you and changbin all but owned. you had no stock in it, but you’re sure that you supply them at least half of their revenue, you probably sit on their rickety chairs more often than your actual couch at home. this place has nursed you through every college class and job interview preparations and beyond, and if it ever closed you might lose time off of your life span. 

your movements from the door to the counter to your usual seat were robotic, muscle memory taking over while your head did somersaults through the clouds. it’s only when you take the first sip of coffee, the bitterness and heat hitting your tongue in a delightful dance, that you notice it. 

another man is sitting next to changbin. a man that looks awfully familiar, and it takes you a moment to realize why. it’s the man from the bar. 

“changbin?” you keep your eyes on the other man as you direct your question at changbin, trying hard to keep your face neutral. “explain?”

“i’m chan,” the man interjects before changbin can answer, reaching his hand across the table for you to shake. it’s warm, his grip somewhere perfectly in the middle of too hard and too soft, and he lets go after an appropriate amount of seconds. despite the neutral passivity of the gesture, you feel something ignite within you, and it threatens to sputter out when you catch no spark of recognition in his eyes. was he that drunk last night that he doesn’t remember you? do his sober eyes not find you as perfect?

“he crashed at my place last night,” changbin’s voice filters through your turmoil, and you finally break away from chan’s gaze to level him with a look. “and he needed coffee, so i brought him along. chan, this is y/n, my best friend.”

the conversation that followed flowed more freely than the coffee dripping from the machines behind the counter, and you almost hate how much you like it. chan is a little goofy, the man from the previous night shining through moments of seriousness and rapt attention. 

by the time you had to leave to go to work you felt like you knew him. you learned where he lived (close to you!), that he worked with changbin (he’s a producer!), and that he loved all animals but he adored dogs (he has one named berry!). just an hour of casual conversation had led to you needing more of him in every aspect of your life, but still in the back of your head lived the thought of him not remembering you from the night before.

changbin leaves first, citing some meeting he had to run to in the middle of a yawn, and when you were left with chan the embarrassment began to set in. 

“i’m going to marry you,” he blurts out, startling you so much you almost jump out of your seat. 

“what?” you ask, a mixture of surprise and disbelief combining into a confusing vortex within your head - was he going to go through this again? you didn’t know if your heart could take it. 

“i mean, i remember you,” he says before you could awkwardly excuse yourself and commit to getting to work early for the first time in a year just to escape being in a room alone with him for much longer. “i’m sorry, i was just embarrassed. i didn’t want to make a fool out of myself in front of changbin.”

“oh,” your breath leaves you all at once and you slump into your chair, understanding hitting you like a train. “that makes sense? i think?”

“i’m going to marry you,” he repeats, a mischievous glint in his eyes, the boy from last night shining through. “one day. i’m going to do it.”

“take me on a date first,” you tease back, a genuine smile stretching across your lips when he laughs, a full bodied thing that drew in eyes from the patrons across the room. for once, you didn’t seem to care that others’ eyes were on you. he made you feel comfortable. 

“what are you doing tomorrow?” his mouth turns upwards into a beautiful smile that you can’t help but return. 

“eager, are we?” you open your phone, sliding it across the table with the new contact page open on it. “i’m free.”

“you’re the most perfect person i’ve ever laid eyes on,” he says, as serious and genuine as the way he had proposed to you last night as he taps his number into your phone. “sorry if i’m a bit desperate.”

“don’t apologize,” you take your phone back, making a mental note to text him later. “i like it, for some unearthly reason. you’re cute, chan.”

the sound of his delighted laugh follows your footsteps all the way to work. 

— 

he picks you up for your first date at noon, right on the dot. he wasn’t a minute late, a polite knock sounding through your apartment just as the hour turned, as if he had been waiting and watching the time outside the door. 

god, is everything about this man endearing? 

he’s wearing shorts and a light sweater, looking like something out of a posh magazine. his hair is curly and swept off his forehead and he’s wearing a smile with the most adorable dimples shining through. 

he leads you to his car and you have to hold back an impressed whistle. you knew changbin and his team did well for themselves, the name 3racha all over the credits of songs on the radio, but this car was nice. you were going to have a talk with changbin about why he still drove the same beat up sedan he’s had since college but that was a thought for later. right now all you wanted to think about was the man who held the door open for you to slide into the passenger seat and was now holding your hand over the middle console. 

“do i get to know where we’re going?” you ask, peering at the map open on his phone but it tells you nothing more than that your destination was 15 minutes away and that he had to make a right turn in one mile. 

“it’s a surprise,” he says, voice a little nervous but it was masked with excitement. wherever he was taking you, you would be happy to be there if he was this happy the whole time. 

four songs on the radio later, one of which you teased him for when he revealed that he wrote it, he was pulling into a parking lot illuminated by flashing colorful lights. he had brought you to the fair. 

“i’ve never been to the fair!” you bounced a little in your seat, wriggling in excitement. “i’ve always wanted to go, how did you know?”

“lucky guess?” he shrugs, avoiding your gaze as he cuts the engine and unbuckles his seatbelt. 

“changbin told you, didn’t he,” you smile at the thought of chan asking his friend about what you’d like. it was cute, a word that you were probably exhausting when thinking about him even after a day of knowing him. 

“yes, but,” he flushes, the tips of his ears burning red. “i asked him after i had decided to come here, just to make sure it was a good idea. i didn’t steal it from him.”

“hey, it’s okay,” you squeeze his hand in yours that he had yet to let go of in what you hoped was a comforting gesture. you didn’t know what brought him calmness yet, but you wanted to learn. you wanted to learn everything about him. “now, take me to the fair, bang chan. i was promised a date.”

he finally meets your eyes again and he’s grinning so happily that you feel like you had just won a prize. who needed a fair when you had your very own carnival game right here? 

it turns out, you did. by the time the sun was beginning to set, your arms were full of various plushies that chan had won for you, each one earning him a hug and a kiss to his cheek. you treasured every single one, the fluttering in your chest when he stepped up to the booths to throw and shoot various things never ceasing. 

“let’s go to the ferris wheel,” you tug at him with your free hand, thanking the skies when you see no queue there. “i bet the sunset looks beautiful from the top.”

he’s quiet when he follows you there and into the carriage, his thigh pressing against yours as he slides in next to you, but you don’t notice in your excitement. it isn’t until the wheel ticks to the top and stops that he grabs your hand again, trembling a little. 

“chan? are you okay?” you ask, concern warping your voice as you turn towards him. your movement rocks the carriage a bit and he turns pale, ducking his head into your neck to hide. 

“yeah, ‘m okay,” he murmurs, his eyelashes ticking your skin when he blinks his eyes shut. “just don’t like heights very much.”

“oh my god, why didn’t you tell me?” you cry out, jumping a bit and regretting it when you rock the carriage again. “nevermind that, what can i do? it’ll go down soon, you’ll be alright.”

“just keep holding my hand?” he squeezes your fingers lightly and your heart melts. you may have made a joke that he was just trying to trick you into holding his hand any other time, but the fear in his shaking body was real and you’d never tease him for that. 

“of course,” you press a kiss to his hair, moving your other hand slowly to wrap around your intertwined fingers. the wheel begins to turn again, swaying the carriage as it descends. you keep your grip on his hand tight the entire time, all the way until you’re on your feet again on steady ground. 

“i’m so sorry,” you begin to say, the horror of subjecting him to his fear creeping up now that the crisis has passed. 

“i’m going to marry you,” he says, cutting off your apology and lifting your hands to his mouth so he could press a kiss to the back of yours. “no one’s ever been able to keep me that calm. thank you.”

you were left speechless after that and all you could do was smile at him, the ghost of it not leaving your face for the rest of the night. 

–

your thirty first date with chan ends with you crying into changbin’s arms, utterly confused and the feeling of despair creeping up your veins. you had met him your cafe as you had done several times since the fair, but when you arrived he wasn’t there. he came late, dark storms in his eyes and a hard set to his jaw and you didn’t understand what had made him like that. the usual smile and twinkle in his eyes were missing, and when you and asked him about what was wrong he had snapped at you in a way you hadn’t been talked to in years. 

you had left after that, brushing him off when his eyes had widened and he reached for you while calling out your name. you know that you should have given him a chance to explain, but at the time you were too hurt to consider it. 

you made your way to changbin’s apartment without thinking, your feet taking you to safety before your head could catch up. changbin had taken one look at your face before wrapping you up in his arm, walking you to his couch so he could cuddle you properly while words spilled out of you like a leaky faucet. you felt like you were back in college, crying and blubbering over a boy who had rejected you at a party, and you hated it. 

you didn’t notice changbin sending an angry text to chan, but the sound of changbin’s door opening with a bang startled you out of your tears. chan bursts in like a whirlwind, his hair sticking up at weird angles and a look of panic on his face as he takes you in. he reaches the couch in a few strides and falls to his knees in front of you, holding a crumpled bag from the cafe in his hand and taking your cheek gently into his other. his thumb wipes at the tear tracks there and you could practically taste the guilt emanating off of him. 

“love, i am so sorry,” he starts, ignoring changbin when he scoffs at the apology. “i shouldn’t have snapped at you, i had no right to do that. i got some bad news this morning and i wasn’t feeling my best, and i should have been honest with you. i’ll never do anything like that again, please forgive me? i’ll do anything.”

it was more his voice than his words that did it - he sounded so desperate, like he was trying to hold

onto a ledge that was crumbling, threatening to hurl his body into eternal nothingness. you knew him, you knew he was sorry, and against your first instinct you trusted him when he said he wouldn’t do it again. 

“is that an almond croissant?” you eye the bag in his hand. 

“it’s two almond croissants,” he nods fervently, his hair swishing back and forth with the movement. you sit up, sliding out of changbin’s arms and onto the floor in front of chan. chan’s arms replace changbin’s easily when you lean into him, and it feels like coming home. 

“it’s not like i have a nice couch you could be sitting on,” changbin mutters as he leaves, shaking his head fondly at the two of you before making himself scarce. 

chan kisses you, cradling your head gently into his hands, and they’re so warm. he slides his lips against yours, slowly like he’s taking his time memorizing the planes of your mouth to commit to memory. even after kissing him dozens of times you still find new things to learn about each other. 

“i swear,” he says, pulling away to meet your eyes. “i’m going to marry you, someday.”

“keep getting me croissants as apologies and we’ll see,” you say, sniffling into his neck. 

—

your eighty seventh date was spent in your bed, your head spinning like both hands on a clock simultaneously and your body exuding more sweat than you ever have. 

chan is wringing out a cool cloth to place on your forehead and it feels so nice that you moan. 

“i’m sorry,” you mutter, and chan has lost count of the amount of times you’ve said it at this point. “we had a date and i ruined it.”

“we were going to see a movie,” he says, running a hand up and down your spine. “and we will. we don’t need a movie theater when we have a screen right here, hmm?” 

“but the popcorn,” you complain, closing your eyes in bliss when he runs a hand through your hair, scratching gently at your scalp. an apology for being so sweaty was at the tip of your tongue but you hold it back in favor of enjoying the feeling of his touch. 

“i’ll make you all the popcorn you want when you’re feeling better,” he promises, dropping a kiss to the side of your head. “for now, how does soup sound?” 

“popcorn soup?“ you ask, a wave of dizziness taking over your body; if you weren’t lying down already, you’re sure that too would be falling over. 

“yeah, baby,” and even in your delirium the fondness in his voice was prominent. he couldn’t hide it even if he tried. “i’ll make you some popcorn soup. get some rest okay?”

you’re asleep before he leaves the room, and you only wake up when he shakes your shoulder a bit and helps you into an upright position. he feeds you bites of what is definitely not popcorn soup after putting a movie on your laptop, the screen sitting at the foot of your bed. the both of you fall asleep before the movie finishes, but you don’t mind. 

he stays with you for days, making you soup and tea and toast and feeding you medicine and being an all-around angel as he nurses you back to health. by the time you’re better you think you’ve fallen back in love with him several times. 

as you had expected and warned him about, he catches your sickness the next week, and now it’s your turn to be his nurse. you try and do the same job he did, but his delirium seems worse. the silver lining is that his fever isn’t as bad, so you’re babysitting a babbling boyfriend more than a sick one. 

the night before his fever breaks is the worst, since he doesn’t even recognize you. you shake your head at his silliness when he asks who you are and calls you pretty. you smile when he takes your hand in his and asks you to come closer. 

you tear up when he tells you that he has a girlfriend that he loves very much and so even though you’re pretty he can’t do anything else because his girlfriend is the prettiest one in the whole world. you let a tear slip when he tells you that he can’t wait to propose to his girlfriend and that he’s going to marry her someday. 

you tell him that you have a boyfriend that you're going to marry someday, trusting that he wouldn’t remember it in the morning. 

—

your hundredth and fifth date was not unlike your fifth, or your tenth, or your ninetieth. two and a half years later, you were just as endeared by him and he was just as obsessed with you - even more so, if it were possible. 

he takes the time to tell you how gorgeous you look when he picks you up just like he does on every date, and you hide your disgustingly fond smile for him behind his back like you do every time you see him. 

he parks and runs around the car to let you out like he does every time you habit this restaurant, a little fancier than your usual best but it was a favorite of the both of yours - across the street from the bar the two of you had met at. 

you start walking before he does, letting him jog to meet you and complain about how you left him, just like you do every time. before him. you might have thought the monotony would have gotten tiring, but he had a fantastical ability to make every moment feel like the first despite their practiced nature. 

he calls your name from behind you right on schedule and you hum in acknowledgement, turning towards him absentmindedly. the second you lay eyes on him you’re completely alert, though; he isn’t jogging after you, but rather he’s kneeling on the sidewalk, a small box in his hands as he smiles up at you. 

“i’ve told you that i’m going to marry you more times than i can count,” he starts, eyes shining like the stars twinkling in the night sky above you. “but this time i’m asking you.”

“chan,” you choke out, hands coming up to cover your mouth as it quivers. tears spring to your eyes and you silently curse yourself - you always thought you’d be level headed when you got proposed to, but nothing could have prepared you for this, not even the thousands of declarations he had made to you prior. 

“i love you. you’re the only one in the entire universe that i need more than blood or breath, you’re the song that runs through my heart and the fire that leads my path when i’m lost,” his voice is thick, like he’s trying to hold back his emotions long enough to get his words out. “i never thought that i would feel so strongly for someone, i never thought that i deserved a love like this until i met you.”

he pauses as you walk closer to him, letting you approach him before he continues. 

“my love, my eternal light,” he’s tearing up now, blinking fast to keep the salty water at bay. “will you marry me?”

“chan,” you start, kneeling down next to him and taking his wrists in your hands. “i never told you this, but ever since that first day i knew. i knew that the drunk idiot that was hitting on me would be my husband.”

he chuckles, smiling delightedly as the tears finally spring from both of your eyes in unison.

“so?” he trails off, searching your face with his eyes, waiting. 

“oh!” you tighten your grip on him in an apology. “of course i’ll marry you, gosh i love you so much.”

[fromsko]

his fingers find their way to settle on your ass, giving it a squeeze. you're perched on his lap, his stomach to be exact, your fingers teasing his cock in front of you. you somehow managed to get free during the night to meet him, and he comes over, only to lay in your bed and suggest eating you out. nothing too out of the blue, you've been playing this game for a while now. the whole friends with benefits, him coming over to relieve his tension by getting you off, or you going back to his place with him ( where you don't even make it out of the car because of his oh so many thoughts of railing into you while his hands grip onto the steering wheel in front of him ).

"let me see you," he manages to let out between breaths, his voice getting low when your nail 'accidentally' scrapes along his length, making him groan – that delicious sound leaving his lips whenever he gets frustrated with your teasing. "fuck, let me see you, baby." his face is so dangerously close to your centre, and he can see you playing with yourself, teasing yourself and torturing him, while touching him slowly. every time he tries to lean forward to get a taste, either your sleep shorts are in the way, or you keep inching forward, rubbing yourself against his body, feeling his movements under you.

"do yourself a favour, and sit on my face yeah?" he calls out, and at the corner of your eye you can see his hand stroke circles onto your skin, while his other hand grips the sheets below. his hips buck up into your hand as you play with his tip, pre-cum ready to be licked off. "stop fucking with me, sweetheart."

"mmmmm, but look at how pretty your cock is in my hand," you whimper, stroking his length as your tongue darts out to lick a long stripe of his cock. "it's going to look a lot more prettier fucking your mouth," he grunts when you take in the tip of his length, while your fingers cover the rest of it, playing with his balls. "that's it, fuck that's good. do that again, baby." you pull away just when he's damn near close to letting his whole cock in your mouth, and his fingers land on your ass once again, grabbing it. "fucking brat."

note. we're ok 👍🏾👍🏾 this man is just ,, wrecking me and my brain left right and centre. also you're welcome, please SUFFER W ME — this is me calling all chan whores, hoes, enthusiasts, and anyone in between including myself

©lix-ables, reblogs are appreciated ‹33

[fromsko]

why are some tumblr writers becoming so fucking entitled?💀 like why are basically forcing people to reblog your work? Talking about "Only likes will be blocked" just don't post your shit at this point lmaooo 😭😭

[fromsko]

yall rlly need 2 interact more fr!! whether it be by replying, reblogging, or sending asks. stayblr has been so dry bcs frankly, writers keep on going on hiatuses due to lack of engagement. pls pls pls interact!! let's nawt make it one-sided omg... 💔💔💔

[fromsko]

white ferrari ⊹ ࣪ ˖

pairing: lee minho x gn!reader

synopsis: reader is feeling self doubt about themselves. minho is there to remind them that everything will be okay eventually.

— a small note ; this is my first fic on here … i’ve been meaning to upload a fic for a while but i never felt confident enough to do so. but as of recent, my mind has been scattered. i feel a little helpless and overwhelmed with emotions that i can’t pinpoint exactly. is it self-doubt? fear? lack of confidence? i’m not sure. but this fic is very self indulgent. and i hope this can give someone a little smile or some sort of hope in themselves if they are feeling similarly to me. i needed some comfort and i hope i can help give some too ! frank ocean is an artist who’s music has helped me shape myself as a person. white ferrari is a beautiful song and i *highly* recommend listening to it while reading this ! thank you in advance for my small ramble and reading ^^ feedback is appreciated ! no use of names or y/n in this one ! just minho mentioned !

stay safe and healthy ^^ remember you are loved somewhere by someone.

“it’s so pretty. i haven’t seen a sunset like this in a long time…”

you whisper to yourself in a soft voice. it’s peaceful. feeling your bare feet in the cold and slightly damp, sand. watching the waves, the small trees in the corner of your vision swaying gently. the breeze gives a slight chill, involuntary pricking your skin with goosebumps. the breeze caresses through your hair, blowing through it gently. you shut your eyes. only for a moment. the sky is a pretty blue hue. a dark blue, indicating the end of the day. the clouds floating, small wisps of fluff cover the sky, like a scene from a painting you must’ve seen somewhere. a museum or perhaps online.

“pretty like you.”

you open your eyes and he’s appeared from behind you. a gentle hand on your shoulder you never really noticed until now. ‘when did it get there?’ you think. that’s not important, however, as minho gently takes your hand in his. lacing your fingers with his. he looks down and has a small smile on his lips before looking back at you and tugging your hand gently, it’s almost not noticeable.

“c’mon!”

he gently pulls you forward towards the shore, soft footprints left imprinted on the sand the closer you get to the water. the deep blue water sways gently onto shore, the white foam creating contrast between colours. he sits down on the shore ground, pulling you down in front of him gently, sitting you in between his legs, your back pressed against his chest and his arms slowly wrap around your waist. his chin rests gently on your head, a small kiss on your hair can be felt from time to time. an act of comfort to let you know, ‘i’m here, okay?’ it’s almost like he knew your shift in mood. at day, your smile brightened his day, in a contagious way. but as the day grew colder and more dark, your tone and mood shifted slightly. he always was able to read you so well. like he says, ‘i know you better than you know yourself.’

“you’re quiet, jagi.”

“i just want to admire the view.”

you whisper back. your hands resting on top of his. you shut your eyes again, just for a moment. your mind goes blank. the salty air fills your nostrils as minho follows along too. you can hear his deep breath, following yours, and his deep exhale, like yours. you stay in silence for what seems like hours. watching the sky darken gradually. your mind wanders. the moment is supposed to be romantic, and yet you’ve ruined it somehow with those thoughts in the back of your mind.

“hey.”

you tilt your head back on his shoulder minho looks down at you. his smile is small, but visible. he brings a hand to caress your cheek tenderly, he whispers again.

“i’m here. it’s me. i’m right here.”

you don’t even realise your eyes have started glittering with tears. a small stinging sensation can be felt in the corners of them. you blink and a tear rolls down. it’s cold, you can feel it. his brows furrow and your breathing becomes a little shallow. a tightening feeling creeps up in your throat and it’s uncomfortable more than anything. tears begin to pool in your eyes as you can’t help but get emotional.

“minho?”

“hm?”

“i feel guilty.”

his head tilts slightly in confusion. his brows furrow even further and his nose scrunches up slightly. he takes a deep breath again.

“what for?“

you take a deep sigh. you can feel the deep breath deep in your lungs. it’s almost a sharp feeling in your chest, not painful, but noticeable and uncomfortable yet again.

“i feel guilty because i’m being selfish and it’s not fair on you. i— i hate myself. to put it plainly— and i shouldn’t be putting that onto you, or anyone for that matter, that’s not fair. and i’m sorry it took me so long to realise.”

he almost wants to chuckle at your bluntness, but now’s not the time, and he knows that. another smile graces his lips and he slowly leans to kiss your nose. his eyes are loving and soft.

“don’t say those things. you have nothing to feel guilty about. your sadness makes me sad. it’s contagious.”

you chuckle softly through tears. you swallow down the lump in your throat but it comes back again. your bottom lip trembles ever so slightly.

“we’ll figure it out together eventually, okay?”

“but don’t you think that i hurt you in one way or another? my self hatred is draining, it’s not— that’s not fair. my insecurities— they’re not fair on you. it’s almost like a prison. i’ve trapped you and me in one.”

his hand continues to caress your cheek, his thumb brushing under your eyes lightly. it’s romantic, and comforting.

“don’t you ever doubt that. it’s not a prison. it’s a shelter.”

you choke up. it’s almost poetic the way he speaks so gently, like to one of his cats. it’s loving and meaningful. you know it’s sincere but it’s hard to believe. to just accept it.

“i can’t believe you, it’s hard.”

“i know, but i mean it. i mean all of it. i want you, all in. all of you.”

[fromsko]

People treat Chris like a legit therapist forgetting that he's just a normal 26 year old man going through shit too ... yes he always tries to help everyone but it is so unfair that people think it's okay to project all of their issues onto him and then blame him when things go wrong in their lives or when something he said triggers them. He doesn't know you personally and he doesn't know what triggers you. It's unfair to expect him to walk on eggshells around FANS just because they have insanely high expectations of him and forget that he's also human.

You can't expect him to coddle you through your life. At some point you have to take responsibility of your own issues and work through them yourself. No one can do that for you, that's something you have to do alone, and it's the same for anyone regardless of who you are. Yes he provides comfort to a lot of people but you have to stop pushing the boundaries the way you all are - he feels things too. You're not the only one going through things. Maybe think about how he might be feeling once in a while instead of being angry that he was "taken away" from you.

[fromsko]

Whatever you do.

bf!LeeKnow x gn!Reader Genre — Angst with comfort Warnings — Reader is struggling with mental health/painful emotions Word Count — 0.5k

 —̳͟͞͞♡Author's Note: This is written in reference to this clip. I hope you’re doing okay. Take care always. I am always cheering you guys on!

You weren’t yourself.

Minho knew this. The way you became quieter and quieter as you came back home to him. The way your shoulders slumped or even stiffened upwards. The longer and more frequent naps too. He watched you crumble although he had the words. Those very words to check on you, to tell you that you weren’t okay. It was articulated on every neuron in his brain. 

Minho always knew every time he laid eyes on you. 

Just like the past couple of weeks, you walk through the front door, letting out a loud sigh. From the bathroom, Minho heard your exhaustion and quickly moved to the hallway like a cat prancing around to watch its owner. He peeked his eyes past the wall as you sluggishly dropped your things along the way to your shared bedroom. 

He tidied the trail of your stuff into spots where you could easily find them. He then made a quick stop to the fridge to grab you a snack and a drink of water before finding you in the room. Everything he did became muted to match the environment you wanted and created. His footsteps were so light that the creak of the door scares you. 

Your body is turned away from the door but Minho walks around the foot of the bed to kneel in front of you. He doesn’t say anything, nothing but an apologetic smile across his face. He sets your snacks onto your nightstand, making sure to pat your head as he retreats his hand. He couldn’t forget to lay a long kiss on your cheek that created a pink stamp of love. The same cheek that was sticky from tears that were long dried but never wiped away. Yet, his fingers graze over them like fish swimming in a stream. He traces his thumb down the streaks while looking at the trail it made. It was like the words that were once in his mind, flowed through his veins and muscles of his body. Everything he wished to say became animated. 

Somehow it still hurts you. 

Your body quakes from the volcanic cries you finally let out. Naturally, he stands up to join you, to lay with you. Your eyes squeezed shut, your breaths became erratic. The magnet in his heart that is drawn to yours, calls him to bring you close to his chest. 

 Listen to me. Listen to what my heart is telling you. Please…

You continue to cry even though you can feel the shield he made over you. You can’t seem to understand why you can’t stop despite him being in every corner of your world. 

Your breaths slow down into even inhales and exhales alongside Minho’s. Finally, you have strength to bring your own arms up to hold him. Minho doesn’t move, only his grip getting tighter to keep you from floating anywhere else.

He didn’t need words to tell you he’ll hold you through this. The words were only instructions to keep you grounded. An anchor, he was. A good one at that. 

—̳͟͞͞♡Author's Ending Note: I wrote this last night because I saw that clip of Lee know and I cried. I think a lot of people forget how Lee know leads and loves. He is too often painted as the ‘mean one’ or the ‘bad guy’. But every time I see him interact with the members or how they describe him (Even staff), it is nothing but good things. He isn’t the type to say who he is blatantly, he isn’t the type to flaunt kindness like it is a trend. He has always been kind through his life. I do apologize for the amount of Lee Know content but I really see him as someone I would want to be like; someone who is funny, loved, kind and patient. I hope that someday people will understand who he truly is and not make him someone he is not. I want people to Lee Know as the amazing guy he is and I hope this helps some people understand that.

[fromsko]

Bang Chan ✧ SKZ CODE Ep.45

[fromsko]

Lee Know ☆ SKZ Code ep. 45

[fromsko]

oh i js shed a small tear… i could physically feel my heart CLENCH from how sweet this is…

there’s not really a day that goes by without me thinking about chan in love…

Chan, who gives the best hugs, his arms winding around your shoulders to pull you close into his warm, solid chest. Chan, who has a hard time letting go of you when you feel so perfect in his arms; whose heart is beating like crazy every time he does it, but who doesn't seem to know what's good for him because he still always finds excuses to touch you.

Chan, whose favourite thing about you has always been how you continue to surprise him – in the simple ways, yes, when you offer to pick him up from a schedule and show up with his favourite gimbap and convenience store coffee combo, but also in the way that you are. Because every time he thinks he’ll know what you’ll do, what you’ll say, you’ll like, you’ll do something entirely new. He invites you out to dinner, and you show up with a bag full of vinyl because you just got into it (and you bought one for him, a cool-looking one that matches his room to display on his walls because he can’t play it. He wonders how you always think of everything). He takes you to an industry event, and you end up charming a guy he’s been wanting to talk to for ages. A fan from Europe comes up to you, and it turns out you speak their language. Most days, he’s so in awe of you it makes him stutter when he asks you the simplest questions.

Chan, who never has to ask for your attention. He can’t think about it for too long, lest he lets himself get carried away, but you always seem to have an eye on him, able to pick up on his moods so effortlessly. You can take one look at him across a crowded room and within seconds, you’re next to him, your arm looping through his, your solid warmth easing the burn of annoyance in his chest. He’s asked you about it once, and you’d said it wasn’t a big deal because it was part of loving someone. You’d turned back to your sushi, as if you hadn’t just made his lovesick heart beat out of his chest.

Chan, who asks himself how you’re always so strong.

Chan, who thinks you don’t need him at all.

Chan, who’s fiercely protective of you, nonetheless; who always makes sure your seatbelt is fastened, who will gently shift you to his other side if you’re walking on the street side of the sidewalk, who will not let you take public transport after dark, coming to pick you up himself or paying for your Uber if he can’t.

Chan, who resigns himself to loving you for the rest of his life without telling you; who told Changbin that he would probably still attend your wedding, even if you got married to someone else. Changbin had looked at him like he lost his goddamn mind. Chan thinks he has, the day he met you.

Chan, who lies awake at night, trying and failing not to think about it, about you, about whether your smile to him today meant anything, or if he was being delusional about you bringing him gifts meaning something because today you brought Han a coffee because Chan told you he was tired. Chan, who, when he’s not overthinking every single one of your interactions (‘like a lovesick teenager’ he reproves himself), can spend hours daydreaming about what it would be like to be yours, to be loved by you. His favourite daydreams are the simple, domestic ones; coming home to you every night, pressing a kiss into your hair, breathing in your shampoo as he falls asleep with his face buried in your soft skin.

Chan, who doesn’t believe in signs from the universe; but when you get surprised by a rainstorm on the way back from an impromptu dinner, and he stretches his jacket over the two of you as you run to take refuge under a small awning like you’re in a romance movie; when you’re standing there, laughing up at him, soaking wet, beautiful, radiant, standing way too close to him – he takes the hint and kisses you, and kisses you like he means it, too, unable to squander his one chance to know what loving you tastes like.

Chan, who doesn’t expect you to kiss him back; so when you do, pulling him closer against your sweet, soft body with a hunger that mirrors his, it’s like his heart cracks open, his love, his need for you leaking into every fibre of his being, and before you know it, you’re filthily making out in the doorway of a random apartment complex.

Chan, who wants to do it all right. Who takes you to Australia, to meet his family, who brings wine and flowers when he meets your parents, who buys you red roses and takes you out to dinner until you giggle and tell him he doesn’t need to do all that, that you’re happy just to be with him.

Chan, who loves taking you on tour whenever he can, if just for a couple days; because he misses you, yes, but also because his life only feels right when he can share every part of it with you.

Chan, who also loves taking you on trips. Japan in the spring, Europe in the summer – and wood mountain cabins in the winter. Chan, who one year, during one of those winter holidays, makes love to you in front of the fireplace and proposes right there, just you and him and the crackle of the firewood and the snow outside the window. Just you and him, forever.

skzms' masterlist // ko-fi

[fromsko]

i hope minho sleeps so well and is eating at least three full meals a day and is taking his vitamins and is drinking plenty of water and is not cold or hot the perfect temperature and i hope he gets to video call the cats whenever he wants and and and