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Stay True to Yourself in 2018

For how long have you tried to be something you are not or have compromised your values to conform to other people’s expectations? Well, 2018 is here and if ever there was a time to be true to yourself that time is now.

As you start a new year, why not start it with complete honesty about who you are, what you deeply value, what you desire and what you feel. And while you’re lightening your load, how about tossing the need to shrink so others can feel comfortable—stay humble, but play BIG. How others feel about your light is their concern, not yours. We can live and serve authentically when we’re not concerned with the thoughts and perceptions of others. So, start your new year on your brightest note and stay there throughout the year. Here are a few tips to stay true to yourself and out of the “compromise zone” in 2018.

Taking responsibility for your life

Did you know that building your self-esteem begins when you start taking responsibility for your life? That is what you need to do in 2018. Stuff will always happen. But that doesn’t mean you are not responsible for your actions. Understanding that can effectively and positively change your life. Let go of the past and seize the current moment. If you could ever change your life, you can do it now!

Align your goals with your vision

What vision do you have for your life? Your vision should define your goals and actions. It’s not wise to go through life without knowing where you are headed. Identify what’s important to you. What are your career and financial aspirations? Begin to align your short-term goals with where you want to be in the future. With time, you will see yourself getting closer and closer to attaining your vision. May I suggest creating a vision board with images that remind you of who you are and aspire to become. Make it impactful by adding goal dates.

Dance

You came into this world naked, and are bound to leave the same way. How you spend your life between the dashes can be blissful or blah. The choice is always ours to make. “When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.” Lee Ann Womack

Wouldn’t you agree? 2018 is an excellent time to awaken your suppressed abilities. You have much to offer. Wake up your creativity to enrich your life and bless those around you.

Stop worrying about past mistakes

It is not because of passivity that people make mistakes. Instead, it is because they have dared to try. Think through your choices but avoid procrastinating. Trust yourself and make a bold move forward in 2018. Although it might seem like you are entering the wilderness, things will become clear with time and as you continue to walk in your purpose. When you make mistakes, extract the lesson and keep moving forward.

Cherish your relationships

There is nothing as invaluable as friends who truly love you unconditionally. Life is about making and keeping good friends, people with whom you can be honest and they can be honest with you. During stormy times, you will need a moral compass. Great friends can give you the support you need to navigate through life’s issues. In 2018, cherish those close to you. Make new friends.

Welcome in the New Year “true to you”! The fruit of your authenticity could produce a meaningful legacy for others to enjoy.

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Why Am I Here? What is My Purpose?

Myles Munroe said, “If you want to know the purpose of a thing, don’t ask the thing, ask the creator of the thing.”

As I’m engaging the discovery phase of a new book, 50+ So What, I’ve talked with a few adults who have identified their purpose for living and are making a significant impact in the lives of present and future generations. Equally, I’ve sat with women and men, young and old, who are asking the question, “Why am I here? What is my purpose? I believe every being has a purpose for existing that transcends self-interest and uncovering our life’s purpose is not the Rubik’s Cube that some make it out to be.

Discovery

Some folks lock in on a mission for living early in life, and they never stray from that area of focus throughout their entire lives. Others realize their purpose in the course of engaging in various activities & careers and interacting with others, which is true for most. Knowing what my life’s purpose is now, I can look back over my life and observe that although I was practicing my purpose since I was a teen, it wasn’t until my late twenties that I became profoundly aware of my purpose and could articulate it if asked.

Our purpose is a part of who we are at our core, what we believe and value. It’s that river that flows out of us no matter where we are and with whom we engage. Although we can, we don’t want to bottle it up because we are passionate about our purpose and in time we become proficient in demonstrating our purpose, which is why we are encouraged to use our passions and strengths as clues when uncovering our life’s work. It’s that faucet that we can’t turn off when are flowing authentically from a heart of compassion.

The Unmovable Center Piece—People

It is impossible for anyone to realize their purpose without interacting with people because our purpose, whatever it is, is connected to people—our purpose is not self-serving. The beautiful manifestation of serving from our river of purpose is in the lives we impact. In turn, as we flow, our reserves are replenished, and it is in the cycle of flowing and replenishing that we feel valued and that our lives have meaning—purpose. Keep flowing! The men and women that I’ve interviewed have many commonalities. Most notably, they have incorporated their dreams and goals into serving others from their river of compassion, and purpose.

If you haven’t yet figured out the meaning of your existence, may I encourage you to look up and within? Also, consider what you do for others consistently, with pleasure and without prompting. Here is a short list of questions to stir your curiosity and clarity.

Ask the creator what purpose you’re here to serve?

What attracts people to you?

How are the lives of those you influence/touch affected?

Who do you like to spend time helping? (Youth, adults, animals, etc.)

What kinds of problems do you want to solve? Why?

If you could volunteer your time five days a week, what would you do, with whom?

Fill in the blank. I feel most valued and that my life has meaning when I’m doing _________ for _______________?

Until next time, let the glow of your heart warm the lives of others.

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

Anais Nin

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"Vulnerability is about the willingness to show up and to be seen even when there are no guarantees."

Dr. Brene Brown

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Adversity is neither friend nor foe. It is a common acquaintance whose presence is desired least but benefits most when embraced.

Carolyn Wells

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Own Your Happiness

Hey there!! Ready for the BIG GAME?!

I spent my weekend in New York City and had a wonderful time experiencing the spirit of the holiday with all of the merriment and anxiety that goes along with the season.

I had a particular encounter that could have soured my day, but I chose to shake it off and move forward with my plans, and such is life, isn’t it? As we interact with other humans—be it in the workplace, on a plane, in a department store, or at home with family, it is our privilege and responsibility to take control of how we feel.  We get to choose how we “feel” about what happens to and around us. It doesn’t mean we live in delusion; it simply means we place a higher value on our happiness than we do on external negative influences.

So, as you start your work week, here are seven tips to Own Your Happiness.

1.    Be patient with others. You’ve seen the quote:  “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” – Ian MacLaren Adopting this attitude doesn’t give a jerk a pass, but rather, it allows you to own your happiness while practicing patience with others.

2.    Be patient with yourself. We are all a work in progress with much to master. So, if you feel your temperature rising because of something someone said or did, don’t beat yourself up about it, take a deep breath, and give yourself some space from the event or conversation. As the saying goes, cooler heads prevail. Revisit the conversation at a later time.

3.    Feel it! I believe there’s a time to allow ourselves to sit with a feeling. We are feeling creatures and can learn a lot as we assess the emotions that stir us. I often ask myself, “Why am I feeling this way…what triggered this emotion?” The answer to that question can lead to personal growth and ownership of your happiness.

4.    Create a Gratitude Journal “Thank you makes room for more”, and it also puts us in the driver seat of our happiness. As we take time to write down expressions of gratitude, we cultivate happiness and a healthy perspective on life.

5.    Bring your energy level up. In our complex and headline-driven society, we “see and hear” things that can be discouraging and can even shake our faith in humanity, but we mustn’t allow today’s headlines to control our state of well-being and contentment. Yes, there are issues that demand our attention and our voices, and we can lend both while owning our happiness.

6.    Low-to-No Expectations. We can find ourselves crushed and disappointed when our expectations of others are lofty. I believe most people mean well and sometimes life interferes with fulfilling a promise or commitment.  So, I keep a reasonable expectation that allows me to stay in control of my happiness regardless of an outcome.

7.    Refuse the Dump. Some folks are unhappy and they want a buddy to share in their unhappiness. Take a pass on the drama and negativity. Do not allow others to dump their negativity on you. Take ownership of your happiness and send them on their way.

I hope these tips were useful and inspiring. See ya next Monday! Have a fabulous week and remember to take ownership of your happiness!