fromunder-thecorktree

[fromunder-thecorktree]

Ouch

[fromunder-thecorktree]

being a boring uncool insane mutual is a hard job but someone's got to do it

[fromunder-thecorktree]

[fromunder-thecorktree]

[fromunder-thecorktree]

Stumbled upon a farmers market, bought some local goodies and soaking up the summer warmth

[fromunder-thecorktree]

tumblr is for putting your stuff somewhere that's not secret but also not for anyone particular to see so it's true neutral in a really nice way

[fromunder-thecorktree]

His joy brings me so much joy. I’ve never loved someone like this before

[fromunder-thecorktree]

I don’t think it’s hit me yet that you’ve gone. I think I should be sadder, overwhelmed with missing you, scared of the future. Yet, I feel the way you’ve always made me feel. Secure. Hopeful. Excited for the journey because the destination will be a lifetime with you.

[fromunder-thecorktree]

Today is the day, no more waiting for the right moment. No more coming up with excuses and letting fear hold me back. I have never had such a clear vision of the life and future I want to live and I’ve never felt more capable of achieving it.

[fromunder-thecorktree]

Don't become so afraid of being annoying that you don't allow yourself to be anything at all.

[fromunder-thecorktree]

I don’t believe in signs or fate or written in the stars type hocus pocus, but today I drove to O’Hare. I was driving to you. I missed my exit and I was detoured straight through Forest Glen. I was detoured home. I passed Colettis, a fever dream of a memory. A bartender named Josie, the booth next to the Jukebox, cherry cokes, my dad’s laughter. It felt like a sign, not entirely sure of what but I’ve been overwhelmed with grief of my dad and it felt like his hug. I couldn’t quite place the feelings towards you I’d been having but it’s clear now, you feel like home to me.

[fromunder-thecorktree]

I Tried To Read A Book All In One Day But The Words Went Through My Eyes And Flew Into The Clouds Goodbye Little Words

[fromunder-thecorktree]

“I believe life is a continuum, and that no one really dies, they just drop their physical body and we'll all meet again, like the song says. It's sad but it's not devastating if you think like that... We're all going to be fine at the end of the story.” — David Lynch

[fromunder-thecorktree]

I don’t have to make sense this is my blog

[fromunder-thecorktree]

I needed this reminder

Goodnight

[fromunder-thecorktree]

The past 24 hours of my life have been filled with a feeling of tranquility and familiarity I have never known before. We hiked with the dogs and soaked up the sunlight, the beauty of spring first emerging, got lost on winding trails, following whichever path called our steps forward. We laid in the grass to soak up the warmth of the sun but what lingers the most on my skin is the warmth of him. His smile, and laughter, and weight while wrestling me into his embrace. We weren’t alone but the rest of the world fell away around us. A pure playfulness rarely indulged by those that are no longer youths.

Cooking dinner for family, feeling safe enough to just be, to enjoy, to bring him back home with me. Inviting him into my inner space with no sense of shame because there was no judgement. We snuggled up in the twin sized bed of my guest room. Cozy morning vibes, sending him off with a kiss for his morning run while I drank my coffee and had therapy. Three hour phone call that afternoon while he finished his road trip out to friends. I wish I could relive this mundane day a thousand times over, spend every night in his arms and every morning together. I know he’ll leave for California. This sad fact of reality for an achievement I have no right to be this proud of five dates in. What a strange feeling of pure contentment coupled with the grief of an anticipated goodbye. I feel like I just lived out a montage to the beginning of an ill fated romance. “When you were mine and I was yours”

[fromunder-thecorktree]

Life lately