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medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later
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Beauty and the Beast Painting Theory
So one thing that always confused me, and I’m sure a lot of other people, is the painting of the Beast in human form we see in the beginning of the movie and briefly later when Belle comes across it.
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So we know from the opening narration that the curse on the beast was to last until his 21st birthday and during the song Be Our Guest Lumiere says “10 years we’ve been rusting…”
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So we know during the time Belle meets the Beast he’s around 21 years old and if the curse was put on him 10 years ago then he was only around 11 when the enchantress cursed him. This is backed up by the movie ‘Beauty and the Beast: Enchanted Christmas’ in which we see a flashback of the Prince getting cursed and he’s a child.
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He clearly looks like a young child and around 11 years old. But that’s where the issue of the paining comes up. If the Prince was 11 when he was turned into a beast how does he have that painting of himself where he’s clearly much older than the age of 11 which was when he was cursed. He looks the same in the paining as he does when he’s transformed back into a human.  But we clearly see him being much younger when he’s cursed so how on earth does he have that painting?
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Here’s my theory to explain the painting. I think the Enchantress made that painting and then gave it to the Prince when she cursed him. It was another one of her punishments/lessons to the Prince. She was not only shaming the Prince by turning him into a hideous beast, but going further by giving him a paining of what he could look like if he breaks the curse. It could be the Enchantress was punishing the Prince by forcing him to see how beautiful he could be if he breaks the curse as further humiliation, or an incentive to push him to break it. But either way by giving the Beast that painting she was essentially saying “Look how beautiful you could be, but are not.” And that’s why the Beast looks so ashamed when he sees the painting and rips it. The painting represents all he could be and all he isn’t. It represents all he’s lost and might never get back. Until Belle comes along.
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when u go to pick up the vase u saw on craigslist but when u get there it’s actually two people facing each other
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he is resting...
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Relaxing or Tanning
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Don't kill yourself, please.
If you’re suffering from depression and are looking for a sign to not go through with ending your life, this is it. This is the sign. We care.
If you see this on your dash, reblog it. You could save a life.
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It’s Murder time at college so everything’s chaos
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instagram
All aboard!
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“pokemon is running out of ideas”
geodude was a rock with arms
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girl scout: hi how are yo-
me: thin mints
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story time: presidential edition
so you know how everyone has a story
you know
like the story
like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story
and you know exactly what they mean
the story
well 
i have a story
and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:
barack obama
pre-2008 reebok sneakers 
and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life 
so here we go
it all began eight years ago
(i was a gangly child then) 
and barack obama came to town
(when i was a young girl)
(my father took me out into the city)
(to see the president of the united states, obama) 
(barack obama)
except it wasn’t the city but where my parents worked 
and my mother was hired to take pictures of obama shaking the hands of others
(rich people)
(ceo’s) 
(people who didn’t wear reeboks to meet the president)
so i skipped school to see obama
(naturally) 
(but my teacher was a republican so it still counted as an absence) 
and the adventure begun
but as i soon learned
most of the adventure was waiting in a large room with my mother and some secret service men for roughly eight hours 
because there is no timing with obama
(barack obama)
no one can know when obama is supposed to be there
(barack obama)
there is no, like, obama warning system
(barack)
it’s just that one second he’s not there
and the next second
he’s there
(barack obama)
so it was eight hours
and i remember nothing from those eight hours except for when one of the secret service men tried to talk to me
‘how are your studies,’ he said
how’s school, he probably meant
but i didn’t understand at the time
i was a gangly child
i was scared
he was tall
(i cried)
and then all of a sudden
(about eight hours into the eight hours)
he was there
(barack obama)
he was beauty 
he was grace
he was
(barack obama)
he walked into the room
he wasn’t wearing reeboks 
(i noticed)
(i began to feel i’d made a mistake)
my mother took pictures of him shaking the hands of others
(rich people)
(ceo’s)
(none of whom were wearing reeboks) 
and at the very end
obama began to leave 
(barack obama)
i was happy enough to have graced his presence
but my parents
my parents were not happy
they needed more
‘mr. obama,’ they called
and they pointed to me
‘of course,’ obama said
(barack obama)
he’s so nice, i thought
and then it hit me
oh no, i thought
oh yes, my parents thought at some point, probably
i’m obama, obama thought, most likely
i was going to meet obama
up close and personal
obama
(barack obama)
the rest was a blur
and the next thing i knew i was there
with obama
(barack obama)
his hand was shaking my hand
his hand was on my hand
(nothing had ever felt so right)
‘so what’s you’re name,’ he asked 
(with obama’s voice)
(because he was obama)
(barack obama)
and i almost forgot but i told him
and he said it correctly even though it’s weird 
(obama said my name)
and we were off to a good start
how was i to know
how was i to know the horrors to come
‘so how old are you,’ he asked then
and that’s when this dream became a nightmare
‘twelve,’ i said
a seemingly innocent answer
but here’s the thing
i was 
thirteen. 
(thirteen)
(13)
(12+1)
(16-3)
(13.0)
(Thirteen.) 
what have i done, i thought
(panic! at the election)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3LGopSVju4
i still don’t know why i did it
did i really forget? 
did i do it for the thrill of the chase?
to see if i could?
maybe
but obama didn’t know
i did it, i thought, i lied
i lied to the president of the united states
i pulled it off
the greatest lie in history
the greatest heist
(i didn’t know what a heist was)
(i was thirteen)
‘oh so you’re in 6th grade then,’ obama said
shit.
i was so close
shit what do i say, i thought
the journey is not over
the nightmare rages on
what do i say
i open my mouth to say, yes
‘no,’ i say
what the fuck, i think 
‘no i’m in 7th grade” 
(because i was)
maybe he won’t know, i thought
but he did.
(obama’s been around the block)
(obama knows what’s up)
‘so you’re ahead of your class, then’ he said
(i wasn’t)
(i failed basic math at least twice by this time)
‘yes,’ i said, just wanting this nightmare to be over
just wanting the lie to end
for obama to call me out on my shit and arrest me
to spend the rest of my youth locked away in prison where i couldn’t hurt anyone any more with my lies
i waited
i waited for arrest
but arrest didn’t come
and that was even worse.
obama trusted me
obama thought i was a good kid
obama thought i was ahead of my class 
(ahead of my class) 
i let him down
i let obama down
(barack obama)
i watched him leave
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYNH1baA_7k
obama, i mouthed out after him
obama i’m sorry
(he trusted me)
why did i do it, you ask
i don’t know
after all these years
i still don’t know
it still haunts me
i still wake up at night, shaking, and i think
i lied to the president of the united states
(twice)
the photographic evidence of my nightmare hangs in my father’s office
i’m smiling through my pain
i’m wearing reeboks
obama is not
(barack obama)
i hope that someday, after obama’s retirement 
we can put this all behind us and start anew 
start fresh
(no more lies)
(no more deceit)
but i’m not naive
i know that we can never really go back
back to the way things were
five seconds after i met him but five seconds before i lied
but i can dream
i can hope
obama
obama i’m sorry
(barack obama)
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i have a serious problem with that pineapple mango drink from Dunkin donuts because whenever I drink it the aftertaste makes me think of Kraft Mac and cheese and honestly once you make that association you can't go back
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Me on Chopped
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I have created something beautiful
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Bobby is not menopausal yet
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LETS GOOO
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