Lately I will be quite honest, I think I am getting into a dark place in life. I feel like depression is starting to get a hold of me and stress from work is masking the damage it is doing to me. I rarely smile, I don't feel happy or really anything. That spark or positive energy I used to have so much of has faded into the sunset. Family has commented on how I am and that I don't seem happy anymore or that "life seems to have been sucked out of me". I am at a loss of what to do. I am going to be 30 this year and I feel like a failure... Sure I have a decent salary job and decent health but I have next to nothing to show for it. I wish I had a family already with my one true love but unfortunately we aren't together even though I still think of her and wish things were different, that the close call actually worked out, instead I went to university. I miss so much and that was the last time I felt alive. Since then it feels like I have been just coasting, being numb and doing enough to project success when in reality I just need something more fulfilling. I would rather struggle in life with the right person than be successful without them. Success isn't what is in the bank account or what you have for show, instead it is what you build around you and the legacy you leave behind by having a family, being a role model to others and trying to be a good person.
I am lost, I am not in a good place and I have made mistakes. I regret a lot, but I have to accept them, but right the wrongs.
I will probably delete this in the morning but here is my two cents and what is crossing my mind.
May you love yourself, may you find peace from within, and may you appreciate those around you!