fuckedupandbipolar

[fuckedupandbipolar]

“When I say, I love you, it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.”

— Joss Whedon

[fuckedupandbipolar]

[fuckedupandbipolar]

[fuckedupandbipolar]

“I’d sleep so much better with you right next to me.”

—

Unknown

(via quotefeeling)

[fuckedupandbipolar]

“You did something for me I couldn’t do for myself. You loved me for who I am.”

—

William Chapman

(via thoughtkick)

[fuckedupandbipolar]

“You yell at me about being lazy, while I stay in bed thinking about suicide.”

— (via suicidalnixi)

[fuckedupandbipolar]

“I don’t want to be a sweetheart. I want to be the fucking love of your life.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

[fuckedupandbipolar]

Wow..

So I've left you to sleep, you have work in the morning, and shortly I'll be going to sleep soon too.. But I just went through my tumblr archive and damn..

So many ups, so many downs, so many different people to talk about and so much has happened in just 13 months. Crazy.

I moved back in with mum, I left my job, I got diagnosed with bipolar, I got medicated, I found a new job, I got kicked out, I now have my own flat again, I lost a cat, gained a dog, lost my family. I've lost weight, I eat what I want, I'm confident sometimes, and whilst there are times I struggle to get out of bed, I can't say it's ever as bad as it used to be.

I've also come to the realisation of I'm not angry at my exs, if anything, I'm thankful.. For the time they were around they gave me a purpose, a reason to get up, a reason to keep going, so thank you, because here I am, so in love with a guy I've known for 9 years, and I'm all grown up now.

I'm diagnosed, medicated and now I'm stabilising, perfect.. Because that's what he deserves, no more nutty, irrational Lilley.. The calm, mellow Lilley is out now, and she ain't ever going away.

So here's to me, and everyone that's got me this far. I'm still standing, and I'm still here.

[fuckedupandbipolar]

[fuckedupandbipolar]

It's been a while..

Yeah, it has been a while since I've wanted to write about anything, to post anything.. But you.. You shock the creativity back into me.. You who stood and waited for me for so long.. Thinking about it, I imagine that's what the friendzone feels like to a guy that likes a girl.. They sit on the outside, watch her heart get broken, and piece it back together each time.. And you've done that for me.. But whilst you may be my best friend, the one person I can tell absolutely anything without fear of judgement.. You're not just my best friend, you're also the one person who fills the void, that inspires creativity, you make me want to be a bright ball of light, for the first time in my life, I am my own happiness, and you, instead of holding me up, are standing right next to me, holding my hand.. 9 years ago, we were kids and it was impossible.. 3 years ago and it was hell on earth.. But now, now we're gonna stand hand in hand and shine😘☀️

[fuckedupandbipolar]

you’re allowed to be angry you missed out on having a childhood.

[fuckedupandbipolar]

“I need you to love me a little louder today.”

— Unknown

[fuckedupandbipolar]

“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”

— Jim Carrey

[fuckedupandbipolar]

IG: jessicarose_makeup

[fuckedupandbipolar]

“Tomorrow, the sun will be a little less harsh. The music will be a little louder. Tomorrow, the voices in your head will start agreeing with you a little more. Tomorrow, hope will not leave your body as easily as it does today. -@ayeshasyedaa”

—

[fuckedupandbipolar]

“I don’t trust words anymore. I only trust actions. People can pretend to do a lot without beeing serious about it.”

— Moritz Fer (via thoughtkick)

[fuckedupandbipolar]

“Tomorrow, the sun will be a little less harsh. The music will be a little louder. Tomorrow, the voices in your head will start agreeing with you a little more. Tomorrow, hope will not leave your body as easily as it does today. -@ayeshasyedaa”

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