fucking-things-up-constantly

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tlt tumblr: here’s a 52-page treatise on how john’s vision of his empire references the first and second crusades, cross-analyzed with the modern trend of liberal apathy and a layered examination of the complexities of a man from a colonized people becoming a colonizer. almost didn’t post it here because it feels too obvious haha

tlt reddit: can someone remind me who ‘cam’ is?

tlt twitter: guyssss i don’t know if i can finish these books 😭😭 i wanted nice lesbians in space but this relationship is lowkey toxic???

person in real life: hey man how’s it going

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wow bro you seem really into sorting people into arbitrary boxes so you can decide who is good and who is bad. do you want a sticker from your kindergarden teacher. do you want to never have to have a critical thought or conversation? sorry i know those are big scary words go back to sorting blocks

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I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

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"these researchers published a paper on something that literally any of us could have told you 🙄" ok well my supervisors wont let me write something in my thesis unless I can back it up with a citation so maybe it's a good thing that they're amplifying your voice to the scientific community in a way that prevents people from writing off your experiences as annecdotal evidence

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anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

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no yeah thanks for welcoming me to womanhood again but like yeah this man is in fact currently following me home can we maybe address that aspect

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my father just looked me in the eyes and said “it’s a dog eat dog world out here and i’ve got a Milkbone up my ass” cheers man i’ve legitimately never heard that one before

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rb with whether people assume you’re older or younger than your actual age

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Another childhood friends jayvik comic! I just love this au a lot okay ToT

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As , the United States, potentially heads into another forever war I can only think of this quote.

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The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

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idk teenagers are messy

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L

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your “loyal and virtuous” knight is doubting the cause he pledged his very soul to 🫵😂

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the introvert urge to say “no worries either way” when you’re actually worrying both ways plus a secret third way

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the whole "lipstick on a pig" thing makes no sense because the second we gave a pig access to makeup she became god's cuntiest soldier